Friday, April 15, 2011

Wow, going for the kiss close really isn't a big deal

I think last night was another breakthrough.  That's the first time I got the kiss close rejected and didn't really care.  I'm finally starting to internalize that going for the kiss isn't a big deal and getting it rejected is fine.  I can see myself having more confidence to go for it sooner now.  As I'll be going for it sooner, I'm gonna get better calibration as I gain reference material from when it works and when it doesn't. 

The reason I have been so hesitant to go for it is fear of rejection and, something that Ozzie emphasizes, I kept seeking perfection.  I kept thinking I was gonna find the perfect time to go for the kiss and not get rejected.  That's not how it works.  With calibration, I'll find better moments, but what's important is to go for it.  As I've written numerous times already, going for the kiss creates attraction.  Waiting and hesitating will make you lose attraction and lose the girl. 

I can see how experience is just what will hold me back now.  I'm already being more aggressive with the food extraction and venue change.  Next, I guess I have to be actually asking the girl to come home with me or to go home to her place.  If I want to make fast progress, I need to just do it at the end of the night.  I don't want to have to waste time by holding myself back.  I could have been making out with girls already for the past few weeks but I just couldn't convince myself to really go for it until last night.  If I just start going for the pull and not waste time agonizing about actually making the effort, I can minimize wasted time and instead be gaining more reference experience. 

The thing I have to remember is that each night is the same.  I'm going to work on these more advanced things.  The most important thing is to just set the goal of opening, pushing my comfort zone, and not letting the girls positive or negative reactions affect my state. 

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