Saturday, April 2, 2011

Isolation, Escalation, and it didn't work cause they had boyfriends

As I said in my last post, today was night where I practiced isolation and escalation.  I learned a lot and I know feel more comfortable doing these things in the future now that I have some reference experiences.  Let me start of by saying something that I realized my frame has totally changed.  When sets wouldn't get anywhere or the girl wouldn't open up, I used to think that was something wrong with me.  Now, I'm realizing that it's often stuff that has nothing to do with me and in many ways is just bad luck.  I might also be bordering on arrogance sometimes cause I'll be plowing and in my mind I'm thinking, "How the fuck is this girl not responding to anything I'm saying?"  I can see how Jeffy/jlaix can honestly say the when he talks to girls, it's only a matter of time before they are attracted as it's often like that for me at this intermediate stage of my game. 

There were two sets tonight that made total sense after I realized what the girl's situation was.  The first was this 2-set Seagull and I found early in the night.  There was this white girl and this Asian girl.  I told Seagull he could have the Asian girl who was cuter cause Asians aren't my thing.  He opened them and then I BSed with some mixed sets while waiting.  This dude from Kentucky and I ended up talking.  He was cool and he mentioned this Thai place he likes called "Joy's."  I have the number in my phone and want to try it.  I figure if it's still in his phone after moving away, it must be good.  He said he was so excited to have their food when he was here.

I started talking to the other girl while Seagull worked the Asian girl.  The girl seems interesting enough.  She likes travel and smiled when I was talking.  She just didn't want to invest in the conversation.  She wasn't turning her body language to me and despite smiling and seeming to be interested in the topic of conversation, she just wouldn't open up.  It all made sense in about ten minutes when I saw her looking at the entrance and I saw her eyes lit up.  Yup, it was her boyfriend.  Now, I understood why she was acting so distant.  I started talking to the boyfriend's friend and then the Asian girl.  The Asian girl was actually pretty cool.  Seagull and decided to leave the set though.

"You keep staring at me."
That's what this girl in this mixed set that Seagull and I found ourselves in kept telling me.  She was trying to break he state, but it wasn't me staring at her.  We were gazing into each others eyes.  There was a lot of sexual tension in the air.  I had opened this mixed 3-set with one guy, and three girls seated at a table.  Instead of opening the guy like I often do, I just did the Intent-Intro opener directly on the girl I  wanted.  She was receptive and I briefly introduced myself to the friends.  Seagull came in after a few minutes, and soon he was having a deep conversation with this blonde.  He seemed to hit it offer with her from the start.  He ended up going back to that set several times and number closing her.

My target seemed really into me.  The conversation was great and she was responding well to my early kino.  I put my arm around her a few times and she was cool with that.  We kept gazing into each others eyes and smiling, but then she tried to break her state by accusing me of staring at her.  I just ignored that and kept talking.  When we had silence and were gazing into each others eyes I told her how cute she is and then I started to stroke her hair.  She pushed my hand away.  I kept talking and then I tried to use Tim's, "You're gonna be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes."  She freaked out about that and wouldn't play along.  Then she left to the bathroom and I went to the dance floor.

Near closing time, I found Seagull back in that set.  There's this Indian dude sitting next to her.  I don't even open her.  I actually opened this tall brunette that's in the AMOG story below.  After Seagull left the set, I said, "Man, I can't believe she likes that Indian dude more that me.  He really outgamed me I guess."  Seagull told me something that made everything make sense.

"That's her boyfriend."

Okay, now everything makes sense.  It felt so weird that I sensed things were on and she was responding well to escalation and then she just shut down the hair stroking the way she did.  Now it made sense.  She knew her boyfriend was coming.  She was attracted to me.  Here's bad luck in sarging.  If she were single or frustrated with that boyfriend, or perhaps if he hadn't be set to meet them there, we would have been kissing or more.  Instead, she felt like the hair touching was too much and the Tim roleplay really snapped her into reality.  She must have thought, "WTF am I doing.  My boyfriend is coming soon."  That's why she wouldn't play along and soon disappeared.

I'm good at this AMOG stuff:
I guess the years of being picked on in high school and the guys who stole my sets when I first started still piss me off a little bit.  That would explain why I get so excited about AMOGing guys.  I decided to open this tall brunette.  I'm 5'7" and she was a few inches taller than me.  I remember when I opened her, she kept looking at me.  It was as if she was trying to size me up.  I guess it is ballsy for a way shorter guy to come up to a tall girl like that.  Of course I didn't flinch and gazed into her eyes as I smiled.  I passed the test as we started talking.  Suddenly, this huge guy shows up.  He was like a foot taller than me, big and had several piercings.  He says, "What's up?" and I feel like he's trying to bust me out of the set.

I immediately do something Jeffy described in "The Jeffy Show."  I'm like hey man.  I put my arm around him.  I gotta stand up on my tippy toes for a second to do this.  I say, "Hey, you're like my big brother man."  I then pinch his cheeks and say, "Awww, look at these cheeks.  Isn't that cute."

The right way to do this stuff is to be in fun guy mode.  If you do this too serious, you can get in a fight.  When your relaxed and being fun, the guy has to accept your frame.  He can't just want to fight me cause he'd look totally socially miscalibrated and would weird out the girls.  Tyler/Owen explains the theory way better than I can in his old post about "AMOGing."

The guy responded just like the guy in Jeffy's story.  He just smiled there and giggled even though I was showing dominance over him.  I then rolled off him and started talking to my girl again.  I actually have a hard time remembering why the set didn't go anywhere.  I think the group had to leave and so my girl did too.  I hadn't talked to her long enough to get an number close so that's that.

Shy Filipina girl:
 This set surprised me because I'm usually not attracted to Filipina women.  Also, while I suspected there was a chance she was Filipina, I didn't quite figure it out right away.  As I told her, I usually can spot my own kind. She was really cute and I guess the shyness attracted me too even though it was a pain.  Maybe it's the innocence that the shyness implied that attracted me as well.  I remember that I opened her and we started talking.  She introduced me to her brother.  She must have been an older sister cause he didn't try to screen me at all.  We kept talking.  I kept trying to get close to her but she moved away so then I had to roll back so I didn't seem needy.  There were times when I felt it wasn't going anywhere, but then she started to invest bit by bit.  I'd stop talking and then she'd start asking me questions which is a big IOI.

We were standing in this dance floor area so it was really loud.  I enjoyed the conversation and I wanted to continue so I decided to try for the isolation move.  Also, in my mind the whole night, I've been making myself go for the isolation move.  Even with that girl in with the Indian boyfriend, I tried to move her to the dance floor.  I point to the outdoor area and told her that they convert it to an open air patio in the summer by removing the roof.   I had heard a waitress telling a nearby table that earlier.  I told her that she she come with me cause I wanted to show her something. 

Part of me didn't think she was gonna come, but she slowly came.  I had to keep directing her out there.  I think I got screwed by how empty that area was.  No one was there except a bouncer who was staring at us.  I told her to sit down.  She said that maybe she should get back to her friends.  I said, "You act like we're halfway across the world.  Your friend are right there."  They were within 10 feet of us, but it was quieter out here.  I thought I was ready to really be able to have a conversation, but then she takes a sip of her drink and says, "This drink doesn't taste good.  I have to go back in and get another."  

I felt like I had gotten blown off.  I figured she just got too nervous and wanted to leave but I also didn't want to be standing there waiting so I left.  I suppose I should have opened her again but we ended up leaving the venue.  She did like me so I have to admit it was dumb not to open here.  In my defense, we wanted to get back to Lion Head and we ended up getting there with seconds to spare before they close the doors.

I even got opened on the dance floor again:
This should be a bigger deal but I progressed more in the other sets so that's why this is just an afterthought.  After the girl with the Indian boyfriend left me, I had gone to the dance floor.  There were about eight people on there and I was just dancing by myself.  Suddenly, this decent looking blonde just approached me.  She smiled and said hi.  We started dancing a little and we also talked.  She seemed cool. She traveled in Asia including the Philippines.   I wanted to get off the dance floor so I tried to isolate her off, but she said she had to find her friends.

I saw her dancing with some guy and grinding with him occasionally.  I figured that I guess she wanted me to grind with her.  I also could have kept talking and dancing with her instead of trying the isolation move too early.  It's still cool that I got approached twice this week.  It's so rare for that to happen.  I guess I'm giving out solid vibes now. 

I was just holding myself back:
 That seems to be my lesson with every breakthrough lately.  At least I figured out and accepted why I have been spinning my wheels this past week.  Going for the isolation and escalation to kiss close feels easier now.  I can tell I'll make the effort every time now and I don't feel like it's a big deal.  I know it's better to make that move instead of just sitting there playing it safe and getting stuck in some 20-30 minute set that doesn't go anywhere.  Beyond that, getting rejected doesn't even hurt that badly.  The one girl just moved my hand away cause she was uncomfortable with the hair touching , but she still wanted to talk for awhile.  I fumbled the kiss with that girl at the end of the night but it wasn't even a big deal.

Before I went out, I found this post from Papa on the RSD forums that helped me get in the right mindset.  Let me close with that quote:

You gotta always pull the trigger when you have the question in your mind of if you should.  The answer is always YES.  The girl will always forgive you if you take a shot too early, but you will automatically be put into the friend zone if you are viewed as being too unconfident in yourself for at least trying to escalate things. Plus, it feels a lot better to know if things work out as opposed to the regret of never knowing.  The never knowing is the only regrets you'll have in life. 

No comments:

Post a Comment