Sunday, May 24, 2015

I need to be a closer & Going for hotter girls Sat & Momentum for Vegas

There's a bunch of days I could have analyzed in detail here but I just didn't have time.  I realized Friday that my biggest problem is that I haven't been a closer.  I haven't been escalating fast enough at times, and I haven't done that many serious attempts at pulling.  I've settled for phone numbers when I should have went for the pull.

I had a fucked up night Friday where some asshole used a screwdriver to unlock my car door, probably because he thought I had a phone in there, when it really was just a light from the car charger.  The person even dumped out my gym bag in the trunk and found nothing.

The good thing about Friday is that I hung out with two guys that are closers.  I need to find out what nicknames they used or just create names for them as I'm sure I'll be hanging out with them more.  One of them is a guy that I met last year but didn't get to sarge with due to my travel arrangements and then me disappearing for the winer.

I started with day game at Target and just seeing other guys being confident in this situation made me take action in the twenty minutes I was there.

Later, the guy I met last year pulled from a street set that he opened as we were walking by.  I don't know if he got laid but it went well enough that he disappeared for the night.

Hanging out with those guys made me realize that I've just been holding myself back.  I've been in this too long to not be having more pulls.  Several of these sets that went well over the past 2-3 weeks could have been pulls if I had been more of a closer.

Training & Momentum for Vegas:
That was what I said I was going to do Saturday.  I ended up only being out for 3.5 hours.  I didn't get deep enough into any sets to try to pull but I did take more action that usual.  I opened a bunch of tall girls in the club that I often wouldn't have opened.

I've made this observation before, but I do get better results from these girls that I do when I think I'm opening a "easy" set by opening some less attractive girl.  The girl that stuck in my mind was this 6 foot tall (she was taller than that with heels) thin blonde.  She was totally my type.  I just started dancing by her and locked eye contact and than started talking.  She was super friendly and I found out she was visiting from Kansas City.  I mentioned this restaurant where I won an eating contest and she recognized it and she started touching my arm when I told her I won a team eating contest there.

The set got messed up when the alpha girl came and dragged the set away.  It was a 5-6 girl bachlorette set.  My mistake was that instead of going back in 5 mins with Disney, who was going to try to use the bottle service deal to move them to another bar, I said we should wait a bit longer.  We ended up not being able to find them so they must have left shortly after I had talked to them.  That makes it even dumber that we didn't go back because they might have come next door for the free bottle service.

Besides opening tall girls, I made myself open on the dance floor.  I've been writing often how I'm scared to open on the dance floor.  Tonight I finally got leverage on myself and said that I need to stop caring about if I get rejected or not and just do it.  It wasn't that difficult and this cute pixie (meaning short and thin) girl was receptive at first.  She then said she wanted to go back to her friends.  I think my mistake was that I should have dance with her and then danced with the rest of the group and then returned to her.

Disney had to leave around 1am.  I decided to leave with him as he talked about checking some other place out but then decided he had to head home.  I walked around and went in another venue.

I danced with two girls but that didn't go anywhere.  I opened some other girls but then I left to wander and do street game.  I kept wishing I had a wing because I just didn't believe that I was going to pull a girl from street game when all I kept seeing were 2 sets or 4-5 girl sets wandering around.

I decided to head home early so I could stop at Walmart to get some last minute things for the trip.  I figured I could push harder in Vegas and it'll be easier.

I really hope I can pull tomorrow night.  We're only going to be there Sunday and Monday night. We are taking the red eye Tuesday/Wed midnight.

At the very least, I need to give a solid effort to pull. Vegas is supposed to be the easiest place to get SNL's.  I should have basically unlimited sets to pull if I keep working it.

The two guys I'm going with are more excited about getting drunk.  I'm going to let myself have 3-5 drinks at the start and then just stop or do 1 drink an hour.  I don't mind having a buzz but I cannot get fucked up or I won't pull.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Don't flog myself: work on fast escalation and pulling

This was going to be the concluding point in the last entry but I think it deserves it's own entry.  Tyler says that too many guys flog themselves too much.  I'm guilty of that.  I've mentioned how this attitude has helped me but I know from experience that too much of it hurts.

Saturday night was a good night and shows how close I am to having even better nights. My nightly experiences are showing me that I can create strong attraction every night, usually in multiple sets, and there are pull opportunities that I keep missing out on.  Sometimes it's due to bad logistics and that's just bad luck.  Maybe from my analyses, I can figure out something that will help me solve those logistics in a similar, future encounter.  Sometimes, or maybe often times at my current skill level, it's just because my pulling skill is lacking.

I'm going to watch and rewatch videos on pulling.  It's like any other skill in the game.  I have to learn and practice.  As I do both, I'll develop the calibration to do it better.

Over the next two weeks, I should really focus on trying to pull, even if it means busting on a set that I might have been able to set a Day 2 on.  Jlaix said the other key is that you have to have the confidence to make a "bold move" to pull instead of just being comfortable with the limited success/attraction you got from the set.

Now, I need to practice this to improve my overall skill set, but since I'm going to Vegas in two weeks, I need to get fast escalation down and have the confidence to pull, or I am not going to get laid there.  Well, to be fair, things are supposedly easier, but my pull skills and fast escalation skills are my limiting factor.

I guess the other factor about Vegas is that if I do 10pm type talk like I did with Seagull's set that he left, at least I'll get a shitload of other sets to correct myself on and still have many more chances to pull.  At the venue tonight, I missed that opportunity and there was only 1-2 other girls to try.

Attraction with bad logistics & Pulling

Seagull linked me a good video that discussed quick escalation.  Watching it made me realize what I wrote in the other post: I have a lot of this stuff down, but I lack a few bits of outer game when it comes to executing fast kino escalation.  This video helped me try to stand closer to the girls tonight (something that I've realized I'm doing wrong, but the video helped push me to work on it, especially in these loud venues when it's often necessary so the girl and I can hear each other).  The video also made me realize that I can just create some incidental contact and it made me feel okay about using jewelry as a reason to touch the girl.  I've rebelled against doing that because in my head I thought of it as a "kino" trick that I used when I was new, but this video made me realize the power of using it.  Also, why should I discard something that works so well, especially when I've been low or reluctant to kino at times.  

The video also helped me reframe that it's not being creepy to touch girls.  I still often struggle with this.  This video helped me understand that if I'm into a girl, it's fine to want to touch her.  It's weird if I'm creating strong attraction and I don't touch her.  She wants me to touch her, especially when I'm doing things right, which I often am now.  Besides, if I screw up, she'll push my arm away.  That's not being creepy to trigger that.  The video explained that it's creepy if you go right back to trying that same move.  If I react properly, I actually can build more rapport and attraction because I show that I'm aware of her reactions and I show that I can pull back if she's uncomfortable.  The video explained that this allows her to be more comfortable later on because she realizes that I get it and will back off if she's uncomfortable.  

Another key video was this Jlaix video about how often what's holding back intermediate guys from pulling regularly is that they don't screw logistics.  I've been working on this for the past few days.  I definitely fit Jlaix's description: Tonight was a good example.  I had two strong sets that were pull possibilities, and there was this girl that Seagull was dancing with that was super high buying temperature that I could have pulled if I had my pulling stills down.  More on that later.  

Dance floor set:
Seagull opened this two set and I was stuck winging the less attractive girl.  Within a short period of time, like a minute or so, he brought his girl to the dance floor.  My girl said she had to follow even though I was starting to dance with her right there.  I just realized that this was a situation where I showed myself that I do know how to escalate properly on the dance floor.  I need to do with hot girls what I did with this girl.  I get rejected on the dance floor more than I should because I do do my dance floor game like I did with this girl.  I'm holding myself back or just acting a little weird because I don't feel fully entitled to the hotter girls.  

I remember I was forced to be a little closer to her because the dance floor was packed.  Still, there was a little space between us.  I started moving to the music and I tried to match her rhythm. I remember I soon grabbed her hand and continued to mirror her moves.  I then got a little closer and I later put the other hand on her hip.  There was more contact but even though I was getting turned on, I didn't fully go into grinding.  She soon moved closer in, and then I started to be more aggressive about letting my leg stimulate her crotch and letting my hard on bump into her.  After that, we just kept grinding and I started to think, "Okay, I want to bang her even though she's large."  

I thought we might pull this two set but I screwed up at some point or she decided to be flaky and at one point she pulled the other girl to the bathroom.  We tried to open them again later but the magic was gone.  

No chemistry with this other girl:
We went to this country venue and opened a set.  My first set was with this cute girl that I had nothing in common with: all my usual interests were things she didn't care about.  She said she liked watching "The Kardashians" which is sort of a turn off for me.  I've seen a few episodes but the way she talked about it combined with her not liking any of the hobbies I talked about made me think that she's one of those people that just veg out in front of the TV all day.    

Seagull said later that I should have told him I was bored so we could have saved time.  He coudln't push all night and we wasted about 5 minutes in that nowhere set.  The only thing I think I could have done differently is that I should have just shut up and try to gaze into her eyes and kino escalate.  Rather than try to take about something substantive, I could spewed out roleplaying scenarios or future adventures projection and tried to just work on physical chemistry instead of building rapport.  

I mention this option because she was giving IOI's.  I suppose then that I have this section titled wrong in that there was chemistry, at least at some point, but we just weren't clicking on common interests.  

I met this awesome engineer girl that was on a weekend trip celebrating the end of finals.  The girl was the polar opposite of the set I just described. Engineer girl was another one of my avatar specialties in that she was smart.  We immediately clicked on travel and she's even been to some of the same places I have been.  

I started with light kino and because we kept connecting, I kept having more reasons to kino.  I really knew she was into me, when I put my arm around her to emphasize something I liked about her, and she snuggled into me as I did that.  

To my credit, I actually did screen logistics in this set and unfortunately it was shit logistics.  She was here with friends from college and they were staying at a hostel.  It turned out to be four of them total.  She went to school in Indiana and was just here for the weekend and is leaving on Sunday (so probably within 8-12 hours of me posting this).  

They weren't even going to stay out.  She had to leave me and she said they were going to sleep.  I made a slight effort (I say slight because I feel that maybe I should have tried harder or made a different approach though Seagull did say after that it was just shit logistics) and said, "You should stay out with me an grab food."  

I think the other move was to get introduced to the friends.  When the friends came, they were ready to leave.  Like the girls were already two tables away and my girl stuck around as I was having her punch in her info into my phone while they were on the way out.  As I write this, I think I could have said, "Introduce me (or us: meaning Seagull and I) to your friends.  Then I could have tried to venue change them all to another place or for food.  That still might not have worked but it was a better move than just letting her go.  

Seagull's set:
Early in the night, I saw this tall girl and a shorter girl (well about my height) walking as we were exiting a bar.  I said we should open them, but I suggested the Gunwitch move.  Gunwitch had talked about how if you're at the mall and you see a girl walking in the opposite direction, you could do a silent stalk.  He meant that rather than opening her when she's walking by, which is a low probability opener, you could just see what store she went into and go int an open here there.  Rather than open them on the street, we could just go into the venue and do a higher probability opener. 

It's funny that Seagull didn't want to do it even though they were going into one of the better venues we were planning on hitting anyway, yet he ended up clicking with her right away and having a pull opportunity.  

We opened them and I chose the wrong target.  I wanted the tall girl.  She talked to me for a little bit and then pulled the other girl away.  Seagull, within a minute of talking to her, was spinning her and dancing with her and he even kissed her briefly.  

Later on, I'd learn two things. His target was super high buying temperature.  We came back after all the above happened, and his target was grinding on some other guy.  That guy screwed up and jsut took a number, as I predicted, and she later was dancing with two other guys.  My girl was just in a bad mood.  The entire night, she was dancing by herself every time I saw her.  I tried again, hoping that she had loosened up from a few drinks.  Nope, I was busted out.  I saw several other guys try and she busted them all out.  

Seagull has to go:
I told Seagull that he could try to steal his target away from the guy she was dancing with: he didn't want to do it.  I forget sometimes how ballsy I have been in the past.  I've had a girl be really into me, or heck, I had that one on Thursday that wasn't into me, and I've tried to steal them off another guy.  I think of this one set a long time ago, where I pulled a girl who I knew was into me or a guy she was grinding with.  

Since he didn't want to do that,I said that if he waited, I bet he could open her again as most guys don't know how to pull.  Either that, or the guy could screw up and Seagull could open the girl when that happened.

I later saw the guy Seagul land I saw with his girl taking a phone number instead of pulling.  

Seagull had to go as he had to get up early.  I told him later that he could have pulled if he stuck it out.  I said I knew he had to go but the lesson is that I think he didn't trust himself.  I said I knew he would stay if he believed he had a 100% chance to pull.  I think he had a better chance to pull that he gave himself credit for and that's why he left.

I could have pulled this girl, provided she'd be into me, and I think if I had done what I knew I was suppose to do, she would have been into me.  I saw her walking by alone.  I knew that the move was to start dancing with her.  I instead opened her verbally and gave her a high five.  I should have gone up, and tried to spin her to spike her buying temperature or even just do the lift move that I've seen Crazyfoot do before.  All I had to do was get her to dance and have fun with me, and then I just need to try to pull.  

I stuck around the venue as I tried other sets but at the very end, I was sticking around to see if the final guy could pull. 

Lesson without  seeing it:
I decided to leave because I knew I needed to learn the lesson without seeing the results.  I knew that if the guy failed and didn't pull, I'd feel better but if he did pull, I'd feel worse.  I felt that I shouldn't see the final result.  I needed to learn.  That girl wanted to get laid and the lesson is that I should have executed the right move instead of doing a half ass 10pm opener  I should be happier if he screwed up because that doesn't matter to me: my screw up is why I didn't go home with her.  His screw up wouldn't mean that my read was wrong or that I couldn't have pulled if I acted properly.  His success doesn't mean that I would have succeeded or failed.  I didn't need to see that either to know that my read was right as my read was the obvious truth.

As I'm writing this, I think I should have stayed if I could have kept my ego in check.  I could have learned technique from the guy's success or failure. I could have seen how he walked her out or if the tall aloof friend cockblocked or not.  

Do you wanna come home with us?! & White Knight Bouncer

I remember watching several segments about how eyewitness testimony can often be inaccurate, yet it is often relied upon as crucial evidence in criminal cases.  Seagull and I both experienced this set but together we couldn't piece together the actual words that were said with this 2-set that could have possibly pulled on Friday night.  A contributing factor was probably that the girls had an accent: one was from Spain and the other from Argentina.

Seagull opened this 2-set in front of this high end club that I'd later have a white knight experience with the bouncer.  We had started with the free cheat codes at our usual spot.  I'll give myself credit for approaching some hot girls that I recently would have failed to approach.  I really fed off the motivation I wrote about in Thursday's report.  One was this tall Asian chick that opened really well.  She has a boyfriend but I would be fine being a friend as she has hot friends, and strangely, she has a guy friend that's into eating like I am.

I went in to wing him and I generated a lot of attraction with my Spanish target.  I sometimes am too hard on myself.  I watched a video Saturday and I realized that my kino mistakes are just minor outer game adjustments I need to make.  I do a lot of stuff right: in this set, I could tell my eye contact was a big factor in creating attraction.  It also helped that she was my avatar specialty, I often attract educated women really well as they appreciate my verbal game and I stand out from the drunk idiots that they deal with all night.

I set out to work on kino so I made myself do more than I had been doing most of this week prior to Thursday.  It was basic stuff that I'd been managing to avoid doing for some dumb reason: I'd touch her on high points and when I gave a statement of interest later on.

At one point, Seagull decided to move them to the one after hours place two blocks away that we knew we could get into: the problem was that like last week, it was just around bar closing time so there was short line to get in.  These girls didn't want to deal with the line even though it would have only taken 5 minutes.  Thinking back, I could have just said that it wouldn't take long but at the time I wanted to try to go for a food extraction or possibly pull to their place of Seagull's.

The part that's fuzzy is what followed next.  Seagull remembers mentioning going to another club.  He said he thought they mentioned going to another club, but he couldn't remember the name of the club.  I could have sworn they said something about how they were just going to go home and then his target said, "Do you want to come with" or something to that extent.  Next, we both agreed that Seagull asked, "Is it close?"

He thought he was asking about another club and at this point, I seriously thought they had invited us over.  He said that if he had heard what I thought I heard, he would have jumped on it.  I thought it was weird that I was the one talking about grabbing a taxi and he was just standing there.  I can't be sure that's what she said, but Seagull admits that even though he thought he originally heard the name of the club, none of the after hours places we know of sounded like something he might have hard.

I saw I remember mentioning a taxi and when no one responded, I tried asking about beers or tequilla and then the girl said, "I don't have any of that" and then they said something to the extent of "forget it."

As I write this, I'm leaning towards she did invite us over as if she had been inviting us to another club, her response to what I said wouldn't have made sense either.

Since I was the one who heard here, we figured later, that I should have grabbed my girl and hailed a cab.  Even if they hadn't invite us over, we would have all been in the cab and on our way to somewhere else instead of losing the set.

I made sure to number close and she did respond to my usual "Hope you got home safely" text the next day so I'll try to set something up this week.

White Knight bouncer:
We tried some more street sets and ended up walking by that high end club.  Seagull opened one of the girls in front that I was pretty sure worked there.  They saw some guy they knew and walked away.  There was a 2-set a little further down and I opened it.  The girl tried to bust me out initially, but I plowed through and her frown and standoffish demeanor changed.  I keep getting reference points lately with sets like this that my verbal vomiting is good as I can usually change their mood.

The other girl wasn't liking me.  I think her facial expression and that we opened some off duty staff a few seconds earlier made this bouncer come and do "white knight" bs.  He came over and put his arm on the girls and lead them away as he said to us, "Get out of here."

We were standing on the sidewalk and I know damn well that he has no jurisdiction here.  I told him, "This is a public street, I can stand here if I want."  I've said that to other bouncers and even to cops that have tried to tell me to clear out. I think he said next, "Okay, but don't talk to girls."

Later, I realized that this was an opening to verbally tool him.  AMOG or white knight shit gets me off and I end up thinking about it for longer than I should.  At the time, the next thing that came to my mind was just to yell, "Good job with your 'white knight' shit!  White knight!"

When he said that shit about the girls, I could have said, "Oh, so that's it?  You're jealous that I'm not talking to you big guy.  Sorry man, I'm into girls, but I'm sure you'll find some other Asian guy."

Thinking back, I could have followed him over and just barraged him with more AMOG tactic lines that I know from past experiences that I'm good at delivering.  It would have been funny and he would have looked stupid.  There's so many ways to rip on him and it was obvious from his response to what little I did say that he wouldn't have the wit to respond.  The best part about the way I deliver this stuff from what I originally learned from Tyler's old "AMOG tactics FR" is this verbal way of tooling him doesn't make him want to fight because fighting just makes him look even more stupid.  Besides, we were in front of his work, he wasn't going to do shit and I could probably sue the place if he attacked me for no reason.

It actually helps me make him more stupid if he tried to look at me in an intimidating way.  Here's an example of the stuff I could have said had he done that:

-Really dude?  You're gonna give me that intimidating bouncer look?  Wow, you're super brave trying to intimidate someone half your size.  If you're so tough, there's this thing called MMA or UFC... maybe you have heard of it?  Yeah, you can make thousands or millions fighting guys your own size.  Oh let me guess why you're not doing that?  Yeah, you'd get your ass kicked?

BTW, I'd deliver this in my usual manner in this situations.  I'd say this stuff with a smile on my face, and staring dead into his eyes.  If I'm sober, which I was, I usually can do this while having this complete calm which messes with a lot of guys, even if they are bigger than me.

Yes, I'm almost certain this bouncer could kick my ass, but I know from dealing with these situations again that he won't because I'm not swearing or directly insulting him.  I'm delivering zingers in a playful tone while making him look stupid and try hard by his responses.

I have a theory on why my staring into their eyes and being calm messes with bigger guys.  First, they are used to guys being intimidated by their size.  This is like when guys will sometimes come up to a girl I'm talking and just stand there thinking I'm going to go away.  I've had them leave when I do even acknowledge them: nowadays it doesn't happen as much unless I'm warming up or the girl is really not into me.  Second, I think they unconsciously pick up on my body language and calm state.

My explanation is that if I were a bad ass Navy Seal who could kill this guy, or I had a weapon, or had two bodyguards ready to jump out of a nearby car, I would display that same eye contact and body language that I exhibit when I do this right.  A guy with any of the things I just said, would stand there completely calm and just stare unflinchingly into the other guy's eyes.

Now, I know this is 100% fool proof.  I've been lucky with a 100% success rate but some fuckers just want to get into a fight and I imagine it could happen some day.  I trust myself to be able to diffuse the situation and I always have the option to just walk away.  If I'm drinking, I'll just walk away just to be safe but sober, which I usually am anyway, I trust myself to deal with anything that will arise.  Finally, I've always said that it's not like I'm going to gangsta clubs or I'm doing this shit in dark alleyways.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Wing pulled, Lone Wolf Rejects me: I get motivated from the shitty days

Good things happen when I have a bad night.  The last time was when I was out with Disney and I screwed up with the bunch of girls we had at the bottle service.  I guess I never did finish posting about that but the results of that night were that I got my workout in order and I finally got a lay two weeks later after a super long dry spell.

That last night was what I'd call a bad night is a testament of how well things have been going lately. I'm being somewhat overly dramatic as the night was good in so many ways.  It just was frustrating how things worked out and I used that to step up my workout.  I think I'll bring this fire with me tonight.

I need to work on fast escalation with high buying temperature sets late in the night, and I need to focus on opening the hottest girls I see.  If I can't get the hottest ones, I at least have to always go for the target that I find most attractive.

Recovering from the buffet:
I started out in a shit state. I didn't get much sleep as I knew I had to wake up early to meet a friend for this lunch buffet.  I ate a ton though I kept the calories somewhat under control.  I then went to sleep when I got home.  I forced myself to run 5 miles fore I went out but I still wasn't feeling energetic when I night began.

I didn't want to use cheat codes as drinking would cause all those calories that were still digesting to just be stored and I probably wasn't going to feel much since my stomach still had a bunch of food in it when I went out.

I wasn't one to give up, especially when I was out with my favorite wing Seagull.  I also knew that it was just a matter of building momentum, as I learned from Tyler's stuff and personal experience.

Hot Blonde but didn't believe enough to enter the mixed set:
It's funny that before the set in question, some guy motivated me.  Early on, I wasn't really clicking with this girl and then this orbiter came in and put his arm around her and tried to tell me it was his girlfriend.  I knew the girl wasn't into me, but it pissed me off that this orbiter was trying to act like it was his girlfriend.  I could tell he was just a friend by the way he put his arm around her so I replied, "Lol, yeah whatever."  He said, "She is my girlfriend" and I seriously said, "Get the fuck out of here" but in a jovial way.  After that set, I said I wanted to open some mixed sets because I felt motivated to do so.  Besides, I had dealt with several mixed set situations the past few times anyway despite me not really pushing those sets and I trust in my ability to either AMOG guys or defuse any potential situations.

Fast forward a little bit and Seagull opened this 2-set at another venue.  Surprisingly, he went for the less attractive girl and I ended up talking to this hot blonde.  She had a really pretty face and Seagull commented later that she had nice breasts, which I did notice.  (I usually don't notice breasts as they aren't my thing but she had a nice pair.  They weren't huge but they fit her body well and her outfit made them pop up.)

The girl was being friendly and giving me good eye contact.  She was keeping the conversation going but I saw she was looking at the Uber ap on her phone.  I mentioned that we were about to go to Wrigley and she told me that she was going up there as well and the venue I mentioned happened to be the same one she was going to.

Mistake one is that I should have number closed here as I was clicking with her and I should have used the incoming Uber as a reason to number close.  To my credit, I at least suggested she cancel the Uber as I said we were driving up there.  I knew that it was unlikely she'd accept so I should have just tried to go with them.

The mixed set:
We made it up to that venue eventually and Seagull pointed out that they were in a mixed set with 3 girls and two guys.  He didn't want to open at first and I didn't feel confident enough to go in.  He was ready to open a few minutes later and I talked him out of it because he basically was asking if I was ready to go in.

This was stupid.  I knew I wasn't in top form but we should have gone in for the practice.  I need to master this skill and be confident because hot girls will always have guys around them.  Even dumber is that I have the skills to deal with these guys yet I often avoid the situation.

The lone wolf vs the 3-set:
We went to this other venue and we tried to open these two high buying temp girls.  I was slow on the kino but at least I tried to hold my target's hand at one point and she rejected the move and said she had a boyfriend.  I'm not sure if she did or if I just wasn't calibrated properly with my kino.  I think I should have started with more kino off the bat since I knew they were high buying temp.

As we were leaving the venue, I stoped this short dyed blonde Latina.  She reacted positively but she said she was going outside.

Seagull and I walked outside and she was out there.  He went to go talk to her as I went to open this 3-set of girls.  This was a key mistake I suppose.  If I had just gone to open the same girl I had opened inside, I might have been the one pulling and getting laid tonight.  Instead, Seagull opened and she was receptive.

My 3-set was friendly and I ended up merging the sets.  We tried moving them to the big country bar but Seagull didn't want to go in because it was almost closing time and he tried to push for the after hours.  The 3-set kept walking with us, but then I lost them when they tried to go into this other bar and got rejected.  I think one girl had a fake ID.  I tried to get them to come to the after hours but i lost them after that.

Clicking with Seagull target:
I ended up sitting with Seagull and the girl at the after hours.  It was dead when we walked in.  There were people but no targets for me.  We all had an interesting conversation going and Burning Man came up.  I knew when she mentioned she loved Burning Man that she was definitely down to fuck.  I even commented that Jeffy's assistant had gone there and hooked up with a ton of girls.  She said that yeah there are some areas where a bunch of orgies happen.

After that, we got into some deeper conversations about stuff.  It was nice to talk to another intelligent girl.  It was like talking to that girl I hooked up with a few weeks ago.

She went to the washroom and I told Seagull that I would just hang out for a bit and then I'd leave and he could isolate.  I said the other move was we could just both stick in and try to get her to do a 3-way or to hook up with us both.  He said he wanted the practice of pulling and would rather not screw things up doing something crazy like that.

He's my wing so I wasn't going to try to steal his target even though I was clicking with her.

The lone wolf who wanted to get laid:
I remember turning around and noticing that there were more girls around than when we had walked in.  I decided to open this chubby dirty blonde by the bar.  She told me that she had been stood up and this was her first time at this place.  I knew that me she was high buying temperature.  My mistake was probably that I didn't try to kino and give IOI's off the bat.  I kept talking, though I did move her to introduce her to Seagull and his girl.

At one point, she started talking to this gay guy and she was really into him, trying to kino him.  I tried to pull her attention away to no avail, so I ended up going on the dance floor.

I ended up dancing with some hot girls from Atlanta but I coudln't figure out if they were single or what their deal was.  Now I realize I should have just asked.  Two of the girls seemed like they were with guys but one girl definitely seemed alone but for some reason I never asked the details of how they all knew each other.  That was a mistake because if one of them was single, I should have gone for them as they were way hotter than either the lone wolf or Seagull's girl.

Dance floor fun:
It's so amazing how I turned around from being low energy at the beginning of the night to complete massive state on the dance floor.  I'm still pumped up now and I have to try to go to sleep soon.  I began with dancing by the Atlanta girls and at one point this really hot girl started grinding on me for like 30 seconds.  I didn't understand her story either; again I should have asked.

The lone wolf again:
The gay guy left and the lone wolf appeared on the dance floor.  She was dancing with some guy but left him so I tried to dance with her.  She pulled away after a short while.  This other guy started trying to talk to her and I made a strong move of trying to bust him out.  This is why I should work more mixed sets and why I should have gone in on the hot blonde earlier.  I usually know how to calibrate this stuff with other guys.

This guy asked her if I was her boyfriend and she said no.  He tried to tell me to go away.  I put my arm around him and then her.  I think she walked away after this and he tried to give me some shit and I said something like, "Oh, you want to dance me me" and I started moving towards him.  That fake gay stuff is the best because a lot of guys are insecure about that and it makes them go away.  I've used it successfully to pull girls of guys that they are gridning with in the past, though the only real time to try that is if you are pretty sure that the girl is into you.

Aggravated but an old friend appeared:
I got really aggravated that I knew this lone wolf wanted to fuck yet she rejected me.  Suddenly, an old Natural friend that frequents this venue appeared.  Seagull and I were wondering if he was still around as I hadn't seen him in over a year, but I also hadn't been going out in the area in awhile.  It was good to see him.  I tried to get him to go for the girl but he's not the type that tries to steal girls from other guys as he wouldn't do it.  I kept telling him that I knew she wanted to hook up with someone and I'd rather have it be a friend since it could be me rather than these random guys that she was dancing with.

When I was leaving, I actually vented a bit by saying I was feeling down about her not wanting me but he made me realize the obvious.  He told me a story of how one of his friends was dancing with a girl who was down to fuck but she didn't like him and ten minutes later she went with some other guy.  I knew that but it felt good to hear it form him.

I'm motivated:
That's what I said at the beginning.  I realize that this night wasn't that bad but it sucks to not get laid because I didn't try to open Seagull's target when I got outside and then I got rejected by this high buying temp girl at the end of  the night.

Again, I'm happy that I turned my mood around and I was having a blast on the dance floor.  I was having fun with a bunch of people at the bar and what a change that is from how I used to operate.

I should have found out more about the Atlanta girls and the other hottie that was out there instead of focusing on that lone wolf who rejected me.

When I go out tonight, I'm going to focus on my kino, especially faster escalation at the end of the night.  I'm also going to make myself approach the hot girls and the ones I'm really attracted to.

It is stupid that I was lamenting about some chubby girl that rejected me when I had a hot blonde into me earlier and there were several tall hot girls from Atlanta that I had opened, yet I didn't try to figure out their logistics/relationships with the two guys in the set.

Tyler talked in a video about how he had this frustrating night where his friend pulled and he didn't.  Then he ended up pulling an even hotter girl the next night.  Strangely, that might have happened for Seagull.  He had said he was drunk on Wednesday and screwed up pulling this lone wolf who was DTF and he ended up pulling the next day.  I hope I can pull Friday or Saturday.

One thing is for sure, good things can happen if I follow through with my game plan of going for the hottest girls instead of just trying to open sets that seem easier (even though they often aren't and the hotter girls can respond better, sometimes, so my game that average or chubby girls.)

Friday, May 1, 2015

Free Tour, High buying temp, tried to pull

I had a stressed filled trip trying to make the RSD free tour.  I picked up and phone call from Prodigy and I actually ended up amusing myself because I told him he got to see this flustered side of me that my wings almost never see.  It worked out okay and I got to free tour just as it was about to begin.

As usual, I was pumped up after two and a half hours of hearing speeches from Jlaix and Tyler.  I didn't go out right away as Seagull wanted to finish the basketball game and I couldn't get into where Nintendo and Andydufresne were eating.  I had two martinis from my gift card and my free tator tots and waited.

There is something about getting to the venue late.  The girls have been drinking and get into state which probably contributed to me getting anime eyes from the first two sets we opened.  There was this tall  blonde Seagull liked in the first 3 set.  She probably was the hottest one, but I opened and like the red haired girl, but it turned out she had a boyfriend.

The one mistake of the night was when I immediately opened this 2-set after the initial set.  This girl was really giving me anime eyes but I kept blabbering.  I knew I should try to escalate, but me trying to escalate quickly when I'm just getting warmed up is too slow.  I just did light kino on her shoulder when I should have put my arm around her or tried to hold her hand.  I think the set stalled because I wasn't escalating.

We walked over to this other bar and this second set had two really high buying temperature girls.  This time I was quicker and did have my arm around her and held her hand.  I asked her if she was single but she said she had a boyfriend.  I'm still not sure what to think.  She ended up going to the bathroom and I just hung around.  Seagull, meanwhile had plowed through the friend's BS.  As I was escalating on my girl, I could hear his girl telling him that they were having a girl's night out and other BS but then after he plowed through it, she became friendly.  My target then came out of the bathroom and went by this tall guy nearby and then they left together.  She was really high buying temp so I don't know if he had opened her earlier and she liked him or what the deal was.  It didn't make sense that it was her boyfriend in a way as he was standing nearby and I was escalating on her.

Seagull's target was a little chubby so I figured he didn't really care.  As he was talking to her, she kept looking over at me.  When he gave up trying to escalate, I asked him in code if it was okay if I tried to escalate and pull.  We had developed this code that one Tuesday when I could have pulled this girl, but I was in a bad state.  He didn't want to steal my target but I said I actually wanted him to pull her rather than letting her hook up with this guy she said she had hooked up with 5 years ago.

He said I could try so I kept trying to escalate and seed a pull.  She drank too much and wasn't making much sense.  She was coherent enough to tell her other friend, who I didn't even realize was with her until closing time, that she was fine to go home.  I kept trying to get her to leave the venue with me.  I eventually walked out with her but I gave up.  Seagull and I both agreed that one last move would have been to try to get in the taxi with her and maybe I should have gone for it.

The thing is that I probably wouldn't have wanted to babysit here.  She had gotten drunk enough that I wouldn't have had tried to have sex until maybe the next morning when she sobered up.

We went on Division and worked on this giant French mixed set.  They were in a giant guy and girl circle on the dance floor.  Just as we were about to leave, I noticed they had left the dance floor and I pointed this out to Seagull.  This was a small mistake.  I should have just gone and approached this tall attractive blonde instead of point it out.  We both started to walk over there and I let him open since I didn't want to cut him off and if I had wanted to do it, I shouldn't have hesitated.

I later tried opening one of the friends.  We were having decent conversation but it wasn't really on.  Seagull debated if he should stick the set out.  Since it was a giant group, the move was to just try to hang out with them until the end and then hope he could pull her away from the group.  He didn't want to do that as he didn't want to stay up all night and be tired on Friday.

I came up with this move that he took and I also tried to seed with the girl I was talking to.  I told them to just tell them about Disney's promo where we get the 3 free drinks Friday and Saturday.  They had like 10 people so that would be 30 free drinks.  I told Seagull to grab a pen.  While he was doing that, I decided to try it with my girl. She didn't have a pen so I told her to just pull out her phone and I'd type the place and what to say to get in.

We're going there anyway.  If they show up, it's good and I'll try again with the girl I was talking to and if not, oh well.  More sets tomorrow.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Pickup is the hardest thing

I swear that learning pickup is the hardest thing I ever learned.  I can't believe I've been doing this shit for 10 years and still not doing as well as I could.  That sentence is being negative.  To be fair and positive, I've learned and experienced a lot since embarking on this journey.  I've lost a lot of my insecurity and become more relaxed overall.  There are so many periphery skills that I learned along this journey from something as simple as ironing a shirt to being comfortable on the dance floor to amusing myself.

I wish I had seen Tyler's video about hard case newbies years ago and I would have been less frustrated early on.  He talks about how if you are really social awkward and terrible with women, it will take 2-3 years of work before you can start seeing any results.

On the other hand, had I read that, maybe I would have quit the journey before I ever progressed.  I was lucky that despite taking time off several times, I always knew I'd come back to working on this skill.  Ever since I read The Game, I had a blind faith that this was a skill I could learn and improve and now the changes I've made in myself and my bits of success drive me on even when I get frustrated.

As I was writing this, I decided to read some really old posts from the other blog.  I stopped posting there in 2007.  I think I need a good reminder of what my nights used to look like.  I realize that even what I would call a shitty night like Wednesday and Saturday are way beyond how it used to be for me early on.

I know that if I stick with this, I'll have even more crazy nights and I eventually will start pulling girls regularly.  I know I have no choice.  I won't quit because there is a no alternative.  If I stop, I'll just have no girls and be stuck whacking off, though strangely enough, my first girlfriend said she'd fly me out to impregnate her as she wants a baby and would rather have mine than some random sperm donor from the clinic.

Wed: Stay in Set Longer & Sober game

The good thing is that I went out Wednesday rather than staying home.  Nintendo text me out of the blue about going out so I met up with him and Andydufresne.  They had to work the next day so, as I told some sets, "They were turning into pumpkins at midnight."   

We talked for a bit and opened some sets and then they had to go.  Part of me did want to leave, but I knew it was stupid to come all this way and not do shit.  Besides, I had gotten through the hardest part of going out alone: getting started.  

The old bit of wisdom is that everything comes back to fundamentals, no matter what skill level you are at in something.  Supposedly, pro players will still do a lot of training in fundamentals.  I get some advanced level stuff right, but I still screw up some little things.

Staying in set:
The old bit of community wisdom was that you should stay in set until you bust out.  This has changed to RSD Alex's bit about trying four times, or Tyler saying that you can leave once the anime eyes disappear.  

I was definitely leaving several sets too early today.  I think I get a warped sense of how things are going to go down as a result of having some super positive responses.  It's like if the girl doesn't give me massive IOI's right off the bat, or has the anime eyes, I decide to leave after just a minute or two.  

Deep down, I think it's a more advance level of fearing rejection, or Tyler's old bit about "state control."  I can make myself open but then I think I try to protect my ego by taking the good opening sometime and not plowing through.  By staying in, I can get the girl: number close, pull, etc, but by leaving I can take the good opening and not have to face the possibility of getting rejected or screwing up later.  

Again, I think the last paragraph is part of it, but I also think that every pickup should be a girl totally into me.  

Today I had two drinks but I was basically sober.  I didn't feel anything from the drinks because I came out after having doing some capacity.  I literally ate 4 lbs of vegetables along with some cheese, tomatoes, and anchovies and drank at least 3 quarts of liquid.  

I realized that dancing is so much easier when I'm drunk or at least buzzed.  I was doing a bit of dancing but I wasn't as crazy as when I'm drinking.  I had a chance to try to dance with these 4 girls next to me but I chickened out.  

When drinking, I just feel better overall which makes it easier to persist in sets and to keep opening.  I do need to do more sober sarging because as I've always said, I don't want to become reliant on drinking.  

Tall girl:
The perfect example of me not staying in set long enough was when I opened this 4-set.  All 4 girls were tall, as in taller than me and 5'10 being the shortest.  The girl I wanted was the second tallest and she was probably about 6 feet tall.  I did my standard opener busting on her for being too serious.  She giggled and starting smiling.  I then left.
I saw her later in the night.  I opened one of her friends and this girl rejected me by saying, "Oh, I'm with him" pointing to some guy friend.  I then saw my girl and I said, "I choose you Pikachu" and she started smiling and giggling again.  

I think I must have been intimidated by her height.  I made myself approach and actually got a positive response, but I didn't believe in myself enough to keep talking.  

I mean this is dumb basic stuff.  The girl responded positively to me twice and I just walked away after instead of persisting. 

My final chance came when I was playing with my phone and she walked by alone.  I thought about opening her and trying to dance with her to this song but I didn't act on it right away and then it was too late.  

Treat the hot ones like I treat the non attractive girls:
I remember this Tyler video where he explains that basically if you can act the same way you do to a non or not so attractive girl with the hotter ones, you'll get the same results.  There was this cute but overweight girl on the dance floor.  I went up to her super confident and got really close to her.  She was into me but said something about a boyfriend.  I did my usual bit saying, "Hey, you are single tonight."  She actually giggled to that and said,"I'm flattered but my boyfriend is here."  

I think back about how I opened and ran that set.  It comes back to entitlement, which Tyler talks about in several videos.  I felt like I could get a girl like that easily, so I acted super confident when I was talking to her.  

The ultimate answer to to build entitlement so I feel that way about all girls, including the good looking ones and ultimate the ridiculous and seemingly mythical HB 10's.  What I can work on is trying to act that same with girl I am more attracted to because I do all the micro behaviors and body language right when I act like I did with this girl on the dance floor.  

I did okay:
I like to beat myself up in these blogs but I should be happy that I stayed after my friends left and still made myself approach.  That venue, as I always say, is more difficult because there a bunch of groups that know each other.  It sucked being by myself but I did my best to minimize the time I spent playing with my phone.  

I made myself keep approaching and tried to stay in a good mood.  It's just disappointing that I couldn't create any results.  I can only control my effort and I gave it a decent shot.  I just am frustrated that I got a good response from that tall girl I liked and I just left.  Dang...

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Saturday in Champaign

Saturday was a disappointing day in that I lost this food contest to someone that I should have beaten.  I think it'll be a good thing as it serves as an additional motivation to start being more serious about that aspect of my life in addition to fitness.  That Saturday with Disney a few weeks ago motivated me but I still haven't been serious enough about preparing for food contests.  Had I won this again, I think I would still lack motivation.

In terms of pickup, it was a good night in that I tried hard.  I was disappointed because we couldn't pull again in a college town but that was setting the expectation a little too high.  It's not like I'm pulling regularly back home so I can't expect to have a good chance when I go on these trips.  

My favorite set of the night was when I made myself open this tall girl that I found probably the most attractive girl of the night.  It was a good reference experience in that she was super friendly.  She wound up being there with her boyfriend who had just placed pretty well in the marathon that day.  I mention this fact because had I not opened, I might have beat myself up about not opening her and it turns out she wasn't even available.  I have several reference experiences of positive experiences with opening tall girls including one blonde last fall that was really into me, so I need to remember that the next time I feel intimidated by one of these girls.  

The later part of the night, we were in this tough venue.  I remember trying hard in the final hour by hitting up a bunch of girls, including on the dance floor.  I still haven't gotten smooth with dance floor openings but at least I'm trying hard there and weathering the rejections.  I even hooked this tall girl on the walk back to the car but her friend cockblocked me.  

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Solid effort: Kissed a married Brazilian

Earlier Friday, I made myself watch some youtube videos about dancing.  I plan on slowly integrating more moves so I can tear up the dance floor solo.  When it's busy or crowded, you can't do much so this isn't going to help with pickup per say.  The videos that did help were two I watched on approaching on the dance floor.  I felt more confident after watching the videos so I made a good amount of dance floor approaches.  It was definitely way more than normal.

I got busted out a bunch but I recognize what I'm doing wrong and I'll try to fix that tomorrow night.  On the positive side, this tall girl was really friendly but someone bumped into me and I got pushed into her.  She then started talking to some guy and I gave up.  I guess that was one spot where I should have pushed more and tried to talk to her.  Still, that was a good reference experience because I'm often intimidated by taller girls, especially blondes that I'm really attracted to, and this shows once again that it's all in my head.  I need to just approach more and yes, some will be nice to me.

Brazilian girl:
This set reminded me of that Polish set in Nashville.  The girl that I seemed to click with the best tonight was married.  Recall that that this Polish girl in Nashville liked me and kept complimenting me, but she had a serious boyfriend and way loyal.  She wouldn't even let me put my hand on her hip.

I opened this Brazilian girl early on in the night.  She was really friendly but she said she was married and introduced me to her friends who she said was single.  I ended up talking to this Columbian girl who was visiting from Florida.  The interaction ended when the big group decided to move to another part of the bar.

Later, I saw the Brazilian girl walking around so I stopped her.  We started dancing in front of each other but she was acting like the Polish girl in Nashville: she would push me away if I got too close and wouldn't let me put my hand on her hip.  She was fine with letting me spin her a few times.

She was very giggly and playful.  I remember I kept thinking, why does this girl have to be married.

Leading her around:
Other than this Mongolian girl I opened earlier, I didn't really have any good prospects, so I decided to just stay with this girl.  I was having fun hanging out with her.  She had mentioned going out for a smoke earlier, so I lead her upstairs.  After dancing there, I lead her outside.  I don't smoke but I was happy to isolate and the cool air felt good since I was getting hot from dancing.  We talked more there and in hindsight, maybe I should have number closed her.

Her story is that she's her for the summer to learn English and her husband is out of the country.

I lead her back inside to the formerly VIP area that's now just a 3rd dance floor area that has seating for bottle service.  It was loud, so I had to speak into her ear.  I was trying to ask her if she watched MMA.  I always ask Brazilian girls this but of course, they usually don't watch it.  She was having a hard time understanding me, and unlike the Asian Brazilian girl that took me out to dinner 2-3 years ago, this one didn't even recognize the name "Anderson Silva."

The kiss:
She was against the wall and I was leaning in and whispering into her ear.  I remember thinking that this was somewhat erotic whispering into her ear like this.  I said whatever I was saying and pulled back, and I immediately noticed the kiss close window open.  Having failed to act in this situation far too many times, I seized on it immediately.  When I pulled back, she tiled her head up, and closed her eyes.

I should be happy that I didn't blow this.  I really was surprised as while she had been playful, she wouldn't really let me dance close to her and her she is wanting to kiss me.  I'm happy with myself that I didn't even hesitate.  I closed my eyes and kissed her.  She pulled back after 5 seconds.  I guess she felt guilty about it.  She apologized for tasting like cigarette, but I said it was okay.

We hung out a little bit more but then she wondered off.  I opened her again and Seagull was trying to tell me to escalate.  I explained later that I had been trying and that I kissed her.  He told me to try to pull.

Sadly, after she wandered off that time, I never saw her again.  Seagull pointed out to me that her friends were long gone.

The right move might have been to just follow her around the club and try to reengage or to just wait till she seemed like she was going to leave and then open her again and try to walk out with her.

The night wasn't perfect in that I went home alone but I still am excited that I gave a really good effort tonight.  I kissed a girl I was really attracted to and I never expected that she would want to kiss me.  Again, I wisely went for the kiss when the opportunity presented itself instead of hesitating or just not being brave enough to make a move.  It blows my mind the kind of things that are possible now that my game has improved.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Seeing the missed opportunities every night

The Minnesota girl from the last report was decently high buying temperature.  I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough because the game/the matrix is opening up to me.  Until lately, I'd waste my time trying to force myself to keep opening or to maintain a good state.  The past few days, I seem to notice more important things, like when girls are high buying temperature.

I was being overly dramatic with the last post.  I do realize the same lesson I've been hammering into my head for the past two weeks.  These a re good problems to have.  It sure beats getting busted out all night or spending half the night standing around in self doubt.  We were active throughout the night, and I didn't really have an extended period where my state crashed or I felt like I should be opening something.

The funny thing is that the girl from last Thursday seems eager to meet up on Friday.  I don't really like to set up Day 2's on Friday or Saturday because those are the best night to sarge.  I'm making an exception because this girl is off on Thursdays and Fridays only and she's a single mother so I need to take advantage of when she can meet.  My plan is to calibrate based on how the Day 2 is going.  If I think the chances of a lay are good, I'll hang with her all night and try to pull her to my place.  If it doesn't seem like it's going to happen Friday, I'll cut it short and sarge.

The lesson from tonight is too keep doing the good things I'm doing but to keep working on my sticking points.  I still think Tuesday and Wednesday could have been a hell of a lot more interesting if I just went that extra step.

Another Night, Another Fuck up

I realize I'm being overly negative with the title of this post.  There was a set that I was in for awhile that I should have number closed.  It's stupid that I wouldn't even do it.  Seagull and I got into this two set and I thought this was gonna be the set of the night.  The conversation was going well.  It was the typical girl lately that I do really well with: I haven't completed the LR from this weekend, but that girl was similar.  I'm talking late 20's or older and educated.  The one from this weekend is working on her PhD and this one was working on some MD/PhD program.

The set got messed up when Seagull's target went to the bathroom.  She was gone for awhile and my girl decided to go follow here.  We stayed by the bar as my target had left her phone and the friend had left a backpack.  They came back and were talking to themselves so Seagull and I just talked to ourselves.  We might have done that too long as they left again.  We decided to walk around and I told them the one girl had left her bag by the bar.

I returned about 5-10 minutes later, and the girls gave me the "girls night out BS."  The friend/Seagull's target wanted to talk about some work drama, and I just said, "Hey, try to be positive.  Don't be negative!"

The move was go back later and number close my girl.  I kept procrastinating it and when I finally went up, I saw them just as they were literally walking out the door.  If I had gone a few minutes earlier, I would have been ok.  My target said it was nice talking to me and hugged me.  I asked her if she was single, but this was as she was walking out the door.  I swear she said yes but I wasn't sure.  I didn't want to follow them out so that was it.  In retrospect, I should have followed out because I had nothing to lose at that point.

Beyond that, I should have just taken a number early on.  I enjoyed talking to her and while I wasn't all over her, I was at least doing some light kino.  I think I didn't go for the number because I really thought we were going to be able to stay in this set all night.  When a set is going really well, I should just number close because I never know what's going to happen.

I feel stupid that I screwed up something that should be beginner game at this point in my sarging experience.

Saying dumb shit:
I haven't done this in awhile, but I did it with this Minnesota set.  Well, that was the final screw up.   RSD Jeffy says that often you just have to avoid saying stupid shit.  I said this comment that was sort of a neg when I went to open her like the 3-4 time, and it made her insecure and pissed off.

I might have screwed it up even earlier.  Seagull and I opened this 2-set.  We had talked about how we should try switching girls after Tuesday night.  My girl wasn't really responding and I heard Seagull's girl mention Minnesota.    Since I went up there 4 times last year, it gave me something to talk about.  I asked our question that is code for if we want to switch targets and Seagull agreed.

It was so much better after we switched.   I don't really remember how, but the set ended up ending.  I opened them again by the bathrooms when Seagull went to talk a piss.  This is where I was afraid to kino.  It's dumb how I still suffer from this sticking point.  It just pops up even when I've done better kino earlier in the night.  My mind was screaming at me, "Just get closer and grab her hands" but I couldn't make myself do it.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

LR: Finally broke the dry spell: Part 1: Meeting her

These logs, especially the most recent ones, have been mostly about my screw ups.  Since I'm in a writing mode from my bad night, I might as well write about this success from this weekend.  

Art Event & Fashion show:
The evening started with Prodigy and I attending this 3rd Fridays event at the Brideport Gallery area or whatever it's officially called.  We ended up walking to this fashion show happening in the same building.  Apparently, people are supposed to check in at the entrance and get a bracelet, but I just walked in.  I wish we would have stayed for the show but instead I opened two sets and then wanted to go the actual galleries.  There were 3 sets we interacted with there until coming back to the fashion show around closing time.  

I've been telling everyone that I've never seen so many hot girls in one place anywhere in Chicago.  We missed the show, but some of the girls obviously were models from the show.  There were a bunch of 6 ft tall or so girls with really beautiful faces and model type bodies.  Sadly, I didn't have the confidence to approach any of them, but I did open some of the other girls.  Prodigy and I commented later about how we felt all the girls we opened there were really friendly.  

No free drinks:
We wanted to hit the club where Disney promotes but we passed by at 11:05pm and couldn't find parking.  Disney kept saying he wanted to free drinks when we finally parked far away and I said if he really wanted them, he should have offered to pay for the parking.  I normally would pay $4 parking for 3 free drinks but I didn't plan on drinking as I had a food contest the next day.

By the time we finally walked by Sound Bar, it was clear we wouldn't get in in time for the drinks so we walked to another venue.  There was a bunch of people from this teacher convention.  I actually was feeling out of state from leaving the club and walking but I made myself open as soon as I walked into the venue.  A few random comments later to various girls, and I was back in state.

High buying temp on the Dance Floor:
There was this chubby girls dancing.  She caught my attention because prior to this, I had been the only one dancing.  I danced by her and started talking to her.  She was giving me obvious IOI's and this time I did the right thing and started to dance closer to her and ramp up kino.  It's weird that tonight, I wouldn't be able to do this.

I think I did it on Friday because I was in a better state.  Also, this was the same venue several weeks ago, where this woman had giving me obvious IOI's and I failed to do anything.  

Moving her around:
I was on that night because we were standing and talking and then I decided to move us to a table.  Many times, I've just stood in the same spot even though I know I'm suppose to move the girl but tonight I decided to do things right.  We sat down, kept talking, and soon we were making out.  

I just remember there was this pause and we looked into each other's eyes and I just went for it.  It helped that my chair was close to her and I had been keeping up the kino.

A friend (later I found out, one of her best friends who was also in town for the conference), came by to check on her and my target said, "I'm fine.  Go ahead.  I'll text you when I get back to the room."

I actually made a bad assumption here.  That exchange prompted me to ask what hotel she was staying at,but I didn't ask her room situation and just assumed she had her own room.  I'd find out later that she had two roommates (and it was with two women she wasn't close too.  I had assumed it was that friend and someone else.)

I decided to move her out side and go for the pull.  Part of me just wanted to stay there but I knew I had to try to walk her out of there.  I finally made myself try to get her outside.  I was following Julian's words of just baby stepping it.  I got her outside.  

I offered to walk her to the hotel but she wasn't ready so I decided to walk us by the Rock n Roll Mcdonald's.  I wasn't going to eat anything, again because I had a food contest the next day.  She said she wasn't hungry, so I just took her upstairs to look at the artifacts they have up there.  After that, I brought her to look at the special Corvette they had outside.  

We had a long conversation there.  I'll say that she and I really connected on a lot of things and we were able to just keep talking.  It seemed like we could talk forever.  We made out some more there. I think I threw out the idea of walking back to her hotel and hanging out there but this is when she told me she had two roommates.  

I decided to walk towards my car.  I forgot to mention that it was a beautiful night.  It was warm so walking was pleasant.  I felt it might be weird to walk to where I was parked as there was this abandoned church next to where I parked, so I told her she could wait by this club (it happened to be the club where Disney got 5 girls and us the free entrance and bottle service a week ago.)  I decided it would be dumb to leave her in front of the club.  I don't think any guy would have picked her up, but you never know.  Guys sense high buying temp and make moves and I like to try to make high probability moves.  I walked to the street where I was parked and pointed out that I was just a block down.  

I'm sad this evening is coming to an end:
That's what she said as we were talking in the car.  I was trying to figure out my move.  I thought if I got to the car, I could try to get her to come home with me, but I haven't mentioned that I had the complication that Prodigy and I had carpooled.  I had to somehow get him home.  I thought that maybe I could do what Seagull did with me and make her comfortable with Prodigy riding with us.  

When I mentioned going to my place, she said "I don't know you well enough to go back to your place."

I think I knew it then and I know it now that I can't expect a yes too often with that move.  I need to just talk up and after party or White Castle and then just start driving towards my place while just keeping a fun conversation going for the 30 minute drive.  

I was glad she rejected it because I knew that the next day, or in 10 hours at that point, I had to leave to go to Detroit for a food contest.  I knew that would involve me getting little sleep, driving 5 hours, doing the contest, sarging Ann Arbor or East Lansing, and then likely driving 5 hours home unless we pulled (Disney came with and we tried our best to try to pull but to no avail.)  She had said she had to get to the conference at 8:30am so if she did come home with me, I'd get no sleep as I'd have to wake up and drive her back, then drive back to my area so I could meet up with Disney to go to Detroit.  

Here till Monday:
I found out she was here until Monday.  She asked me if I could hang out Saturday but I had to remind her that I was going to Detroit.  I said we could meet up Sunday afternoon.  

We made plans in front of her hotel.  After we got in my car, we talked and I drove to the hotel.  Prodigy finally called me just as we were sitting in front of the hotel.  His phone had died, which I knew was going to happen and I was worrying how to find him.  He told me had had used this security guard's charger at the gas station.  

Wasted a High Buying Temp Girl B/c of Self Doubt

It's funny in that I seem most motivated lately to make posts when it concerns screw ups.  I broke my super long streak of not getting laid this weekend and I haven't even bothered to write the field report but here I am writing about some slow night.

I was opening several sets early and then when we got to this bar at the end, I was really out of it.  Part of it is that I was almost sober and a problem with cheat codes is you can either get too drunk at the end, or since I count my drinks so I'll be sober at the end, I end up being likely to hit a state crash as I'm sobering up just at the end of the night.  Of course, the end of the night is when the pulls, and sometimes easy pulls open, but not if you are in a shit state.  Add to that the fact that I was feeling thirsty and decided to not get water at the bar and I shouldn't be surprised that I wasn't feeling confident.

The bars were full of guys because of the Blackhawks playoff game and this game went forever.  It finally ended in triple overtime.  We spotted a 2-set and Seagull opened them.  The girl I was talking to was this short, petite brunette.  She was really cute and was lean. I later found out she had this giant arm tattoos that I'm not really into, but she was attractive nonetheless.  On top of that, she was high buying temperature.

My lesson from this weekend should be that when I sense high buying temperature, I need to immediately ramp up the kino, or in my shit state, immediately close the distance and START kino.  I was glad that I asked Seagull RSD Derek's advice of "ask your wing why you suck."  It's obvious that I wasn't doing any kino, but when I was thinking about my screw ups, I glosses right over that.

At one point, someone ran into her arm and part of her beer spilled on her arm.  I was giggling about it, and then she started to wipe her arm on my shirt.  I freaked out and than grabbed her some napkins.  Unfortunately, the girls wanted to play pool. Initially, this girl asked us if we would play.  I didn't really want to as I'm terrible at pool.  Then the guys that were next said they'd play with the girls.  That was a blessing in that I didn't want to play, but I knew the guys were gonna try to sarge the girls and would be a distraction.

Later on, I realized I missed a chance to be funny/playful with the beer incident.  When she wiped the beer on me, I could have said something like, "You naughty girl.  You're looking to get spanked aren't you."

The girls played pool and we looked around for another set.  Seagull opened this Asian girl who ended up being high buying temperature as well.  He was smart enough to ramp up his kino.  I tried to talk to the friend, but she was completely plastered.  She wasn't responding to what I was saying.  I kept plowing and she finally said something incoherent.  I gave up and just hung by Seagull and this girl ended up spilling her drink a few minutes later so the Asian girl decided it was time for them to go home.

Self Doubt at the End:
I forgot to mention that my target from earlier pointed out some guy and told me, "See that guy over there.  I fucked him like 5 years ago and it's weird seeing him again."

Now her mentioning this is just another clue of how she was out to get laid tonight.  After the pool game, I saw her sitting at the table with that guy.  I realized she really was horny and she decided to start talking to that guy again as she had already hooked up with him.

I knew that the move was to go over there and get her attention and get her away from the guy.  Seagull kept trying to push me to go in but I just didn't feel confident.

Later, I said that I knew I wasn't in the right state and I was afraid to go in and looked stupid and not get the set.  I figured I'd feel even more shitty about getting blown out after forcing myself to go back in.

As I'm writing this, I think that I should have forced myself to go back it.

I just gave up to some guy that wasn't good looking, didn't seem to have that good of game.  The funny thing is even as this was going down and I wasn't doing anything, I didn't think  the guys were better than me, I just didn't feel like I was in the right state.  Stupid.

Self doubt has gotten me nothing over the year:
This is what I was thinking as I was driving home.  I'm sick of doubting myself but I keep having to struggle with it.  The reality is that this will always be a struggle but days like today where I experienced it at a key point in the evening really hurt.

I also experienced it briefly at the second venue.  First, I never did open this set in the corner that Seagull and I kept talking about though I did open most of the other sets in the bar.  My second mistake was when Seagull opened this hot, dressed up girls.  Two were dancing and I knew the move was to bust out my dance moves and dance with them.  To be fair, I was asking a lot of myself to do that as I still haven't gotten completely comfortable with dance floor.

Seagull trying at the end:
I told him that he should have pushed for the pull.  I would have wanted him to pull my target rather than the guy from 5 years ago getting the lay.  Seagull saw the girl outside with that guy and this other guy by the smoking area.  He went right in and starting talking to her.  Then he started talking to the guy and was telling me he was running distraction on the guy for me.

I told him later that he should have just tried to pull the set.  He said he didn't want to steal my set.  I said that we have to have a code word for when it's okay. I really wanted him to make the move since I wasn't doing anything.

Bad night is a missed pull opportunity:
I guess I should again find comfort in this night like I did that Saturday screw up where I missed the lay.  This night was slow and seemed shitty all the way to this missed opportunity.  Once again, these shitty nights are so much better than the shitty night I used to have in the past.

Bad nights seem to help me anyway.  It compelled me to write this and I think I'll do better over the next few days as I'm again pissed off and motivated to do better.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Allowing myself partial credit: Ditched & Solo at the Club

This lesson goes along with my previous post.  I realize that I am often a man of extremes and I don't do well in the middle.  As I said in my last post, I've struggled with feeling like I suck at something if I'm not the best.  Tonight, I battled with a similar lesson of giving myself some credit for what I did tonight and not just focusing on what I really should have done if I were to have done things correctly.  

Exercise partial credit:
I found out last minute that I was going to attend this men's group that my friend has been asking me to attend.  I had forgotten about it and when I woke up to a message from him, I decided it was a good day to make him happy.  It ended up being a worthwhile event.

Before that, I was left with not enough time to exercise.  I wanted to run 4-6 miles but I had time for 2-3, and I ended up cutting it short to 2, which turned out to be wise as I would have been pressed for time otherwise.  

In the past, I would have been pissed off that I didn't get the whole work out in and/or I might have just blown it off because 2 miles is shit compared to what I really planned on doing.  

I ended up doing a partial workout when I got home.  I was debating doing a full body workout, but I just did legs since I had done that last Friday and I don't want to wait longer than 5 days to work those muscles again.  I could have forced myself to do the full body but I decided I was just going to go with my mother tomorrow.  

I thought about how if I had just done these little work outs instead of quitting for 2-3 months, I wouldn't have gotten as fat and it wouldn't have been as rough of a comeback.  

I normally have reliable friends as I'll stop making plans with flakes.  I ended up in a situation where I ended up telling my friend that I had plans to go to this club with Disney after the men's group.  Seagull said he was coming out.  I ended up at the ten o'clock meeting time taking advantage of my gift card, but also screwing up my training.  I would have liked to not have eaten anything so I could max out at the buffet tomorrow but instead I ate too many calories.  I think that's why I was able to make myself do a workout so I could at least put the calories towards something. 
I don't even care that they couldn't come out, I just hate that I didn't find out until later.  Disney said he was coming out after the Blackhawks game, but that went to double overtime and I wasn't surprised when he said around 11:15 that he was just gonna go home.  

I was aggravated that I could have been out with my friend that I didn't make plans with and that I was stuck at Bar Louie by myself.

Sarging solo:
I've progressed enough the past two weeks that I'm fine with being solo, but I'd rather know ahead of time.  I would have just went out in the suburbs to this place I used to go to every Wednesday night three years ago just to check it out.  Again, I also could have stayed out with my friend.  

I could have just driven home, but I decided I might as well check out this club that Disney started promoting.  I'd keep some momentum going by forcing myself to do approaches (well it turned out to be one approach), and I'd know if the club was worth doing over the other venues we frequent on Wednesday.

I walked in and was surprised how small the area was for tonight.  They had totally remodeled this place from what it was another venue and I think they closed off half the club since they anticipated it being slow on a spring Wednesday.  

I immediately opened this seated two set but she busted me out a few mins in.  I suppose I could/should've done RSD Alex's idea of plowing 4 times and then giving up.  When she told me, "We're having a girls night out" I just gave up but I suppose I could have plowed.  The thing was that it was a few mins in so I figured I hadn't hooked it so why bother.

Waiting too long:
I approached that immediately and then I just started dancing by myself near the dance floor.  I thought about opening this group of girls by the bottle service area.  It turns out I should have just went right over there.  Instead, I waited, and then this bouncer about 40 minutes in decides to tell me that I need to dance more away from the carpeted area.  It was stupid; if you could see where I was dancing, I was fine where I was.  What it did do was make me definitely not want to open any girls in that area.  

The lesson was if I just opened them earlier, I wouldn't have procrastinated it, and I would have looked like I knew the set.  

Girl wants to dance with me:
At least I got some positive feedback.  There was this other table with two guys and two girls. Again, I was dancing solo the entire time.  I was hard on myself Saturday because that was the wrong time to entertain myself, but I should give myself credit for being at this place alone and being able to just have fun without sitting there looking stupid by playing with my phone (which was low battery anyway) or looking stupid standing there doing nothing.  

The two girls started dancing near the area between the carpeted and tile area where I had been dancing previously.  Suddenly, about ten minutes after they started, while I was still dancing by myself, this blonde came over and tapped me on the shoulder.  Before I could try to dance with her, the brunette friend pulled her away.  I had seen these girls with the two guys in the seating area and they did look together so I didn't really follow through.  

About 5 minutes later, the girls danced in front of the dj, so I moved over there and danced near the blonde, but then the brunette dragged her away again.

Partial credit vs What I should have done:
Here is the point of this whole post.  I should give myself some credit for being out solo after getting ditched and opening right away.  I also had fun by myself and did so well enough that the blonde was interested in me even though her guy was likely there.  

I kept thinking about how I should have done things.  If I were to do things right, again, I should have opened the 4 girls, 1 guy set in the seating area.  I should have opened these two girls that came in late and were near me, but then went to the other seating area.  I felt like I should have talked to some guys to make friends in the venue. 

It's my nature to want to beat myself up for not doing things perfectly or giving an even better effort, but I should be happy that I didn't just go home and that I did do some things right despite my friends making it harder for me this evening.  

I'll close by saying that if I do something little every day, and if I try to do more each time than I did the last time, then I'll keep advancing.  It's so much better to at least do some sort of effort that to just stay home or go home or just do nothing.  

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Inner Loser Vs Being a cool guy

I found this gem of a video today that really fits my situation.  It's a combination RSDMax/Tyler video:
I found this gem of a video:
The real relevant part starts around the 15 min mark and the key point is at 16:31.  My issue doesn't manifest itself in me thinking girls are sluts or in me rationalizing not wanting to get laid.  Instead, I feel self doubt and I fail to escalate or I actually do just run away like I did Saturday night.  

He gives an evolutionary explanation for why my mind is thinking these thoughts.  

My problem comes down to an inner conflict.  

Objectively, it's obvious that I'm no longer that AFC loser that couldn't get any girls.  Part of me knows that I've turned into a cool PUA for the most part.  

Tyler says, "If you're a cool guy, you're gonna start having opportunities to have sex."  
I must still feel like a loser inside.  He explains that if you do so, it creates conflict and confusion.  

Sometimes I believe it.  I did write a post a few weeks ago where I realized I had an amazing night.  I even titled it, "I was that cool guy in the club."  

I couldn't accept it Saturday night that I was a cool guy that these girls would have fun hanging out with and could find attractive.  I think  I probably also had an unrealistic expectation of how the girls were supposed to react to me when they were hanging out with us.  My doubt didn't extend to Disney.  I can see the good qualities of my wings and as I've written before, I'm sure they view me in that positive light.  When I see them doubting themselves, I really do think, "Why are you're doubting yourself, you have all the reasons to be confident."  When I view myself, I'm often too harsh.  It's good to be harsh if I have a screw up last night, but I'll be harsh in the moment.  

At the beginning, it's not like the girls were reacting that much better to Disney.  Arguable, I was in a better state in that I was dancing around and having fun.  I was even joking around with the cab driver.  

I did see myself as the inner loser and kept filtering things to support that view.  

It's so stupid.  An objective observer could not have said that.  It would be frustrating to see me fail to act, but I seem to have forgotten in the moment how it really would be to the awkward, loser guy in that situation.  

I don't need to imagine it.  I can just think back to how I would have acted in a similar situation years ago.  I would have been so nervous talking to any of the girls.  Depending on my stage of the game, there's no way I would have been dancing at all.  I might have been huddling on the couch starting at the floor with bad body language.  Even if I was at a stage where I'd talk to the girls, I might have done miscalibrated things or had to rely on routines and fake stories to keep the conversation going.  

Cool guy behavior?:
I still have to write the actual main field report, but I've already mentioned some of the things I did do right through out the night.  When we walked into the first venue, I was a in a fun mood, shaking hands with Disney's promoter friend that hooked us up and then dancing around our bottle service area while every one else was trying to get their evening started.  I mentioned in this post that I had to take a separate cab and I got stuck with the two new girls.  Now, ideally I would have taken the chance to talk to them, but at least I made myself joke around with the cab driver.  It amuses me how I really can be funny sometimes.  I remember saying several things that came to my mind that improved the cab driver's day and made him giggle.  I'd later repeat this in the Uber ride to the last venue, even though I had already started to plummet into my shitty state.  

I've mentioned that even when I stupidly ran off on my own in the last venue, I was still having fun and trying to talk to girls.
Just as I was finishing this post, I realized another contributing factor is me being around some really cool, alpha guys
This was an issue I had at times going out with Nintendo and Andydufresne.  This weekend, I was looking at myself in comparison to Big P and Tall T, and then Disney when he got out of his shell and really starting gaming.  

Yeah I was doing a bunch of things right.  To anyone watching and probably to my group, I really was a cool guy having a great time.  I really was enjoying myself in spite of knowing I was screwing up/knowing I had screwed up.  I wrote that sentence that way in that part of me did acknowledge that the whole fucking weekend was an amazing experience despite missing the chance to really make it memorable and epic.  

I could only see how I was missing the aspects that could bring me to the next level.  I kept thinking about how I wasn't as alpha and dominant as Big P.  I kept thinking about how I wasn't as fun and carefree as Tall P.  I kept thinking, "Yeah, I could see why they think Disney is the shit because he is the one setting all of this up."  I love Disney.  It really is true that the night always turns out into some sort of adventure when I go out with him. My problem is when I recognize that, I then put myself down and feel like somehow these other guys being so awesome means that I somehow suck because I'm not at their level or better.  

This can be a positive trait:
Paradoxically, that same part of my personality that creates this inner doubt and makes me view only my negative qualities when surrounded by greatness is also a part that has driven me to succeed and be motivated at many times in my life.  This part of me why I get pissed off and motivated and really push myself to improve.  

Just because I'm not the best doesn't mean that I suck.

I think that's a good way to summarize the mindset that I have to adopt to help push through my sticking point.  Just because I'm around cooler and more alpha guys doesn't mean that I suck.  I'm not being fair to myself as well.  They might have certain qualities that I wish I could were better in me, but that doesn't mean I don't have my own strengths in areas that they lack.  Even if I am around someone that is objectively better than me in every area of life doesn't mean that that I somehow have no value and that the girls aren't going to like me.

This is especially true in our situation this weekend.  There were 5 girls on Friday with us and 6 girls on Saturday.  Even if say Big P is/was totally fucking awesome and Tall P is the guy all the girls want, as an example, it's not like there aren't going to be any girls left for me.  Again, it does not mean that I'm now a total loser that no girl in the group would want.  I'm being too hard on myself by thinking like that.  All of these girls were attractive and just because Tall P is one girls type doesn't mean that I can't be another girl's type.  

Again, I seem to forget that I am not that the awkward, socially inept, quiet guy I used to be that no girl in the group would like.  I was doing a lot of things right this weekend and if I had just accepted that and escalated my interactions, I would have had an even more fun night and had sex.