It's funny in that I seem most motivated lately to make posts when it concerns screw ups. I broke my super long streak of not getting laid this weekend and I haven't even bothered to write the field report but here I am writing about some slow night.
I was opening several sets early and then when we got to this bar at the end, I was really out of it. Part of it is that I was almost sober and a problem with cheat codes is you can either get too drunk at the end, or since I count my drinks so I'll be sober at the end, I end up being likely to hit a state crash as I'm sobering up just at the end of the night. Of course, the end of the night is when the pulls, and sometimes easy pulls open, but not if you are in a shit state. Add to that the fact that I was feeling thirsty and decided to not get water at the bar and I shouldn't be surprised that I wasn't feeling confident.
The bars were full of guys because of the Blackhawks playoff game and this game went forever. It finally ended in triple overtime. We spotted a 2-set and Seagull opened them. The girl I was talking to was this short, petite brunette. She was really cute and was lean. I later found out she had this giant arm tattoos that I'm not really into, but she was attractive nonetheless. On top of that, she was high buying temperature.
My lesson from this weekend should be that when I sense high buying temperature, I need to immediately ramp up the kino, or in my shit state, immediately close the distance and START kino. I was glad that I asked Seagull RSD Derek's advice of "ask your wing why you suck." It's obvious that I wasn't doing any kino, but when I was thinking about my screw ups, I glosses right over that.
At one point, someone ran into her arm and part of her beer spilled on her arm. I was giggling about it, and then she started to wipe her arm on my shirt. I freaked out and than grabbed her some napkins. Unfortunately, the girls wanted to play pool. Initially, this girl asked us if we would play. I didn't really want to as I'm terrible at pool. Then the guys that were next said they'd play with the girls. That was a blessing in that I didn't want to play, but I knew the guys were gonna try to sarge the girls and would be a distraction.
Later on, I realized I missed a chance to be funny/playful with the beer incident. When she wiped the beer on me, I could have said something like, "You naughty girl. You're looking to get spanked aren't you."
The girls played pool and we looked around for another set. Seagull opened this Asian girl who ended up being high buying temperature as well. He was smart enough to ramp up his kino. I tried to talk to the friend, but she was completely plastered. She wasn't responding to what I was saying. I kept plowing and she finally said something incoherent. I gave up and just hung by Seagull and this girl ended up spilling her drink a few minutes later so the Asian girl decided it was time for them to go home.
Self Doubt at the End:
I forgot to mention that my target from earlier pointed out some guy and told me, "See that guy over there. I fucked him like 5 years ago and it's weird seeing him again."
Now her mentioning this is just another clue of how she was out to get laid tonight. After the pool game, I saw her sitting at the table with that guy. I realized she really was horny and she decided to start talking to that guy again as she had already hooked up with him.
I knew that the move was to go over there and get her attention and get her away from the guy. Seagull kept trying to push me to go in but I just didn't feel confident.
Later, I said that I knew I wasn't in the right state and I was afraid to go in and looked stupid and not get the set. I figured I'd feel even more shitty about getting blown out after forcing myself to go back in.
As I'm writing this, I think that I should have forced myself to go back it.
I just gave up to some guy that wasn't good looking, didn't seem to have that good of game. The funny thing is even as this was going down and I wasn't doing anything, I didn't think the guys were better than me, I just didn't feel like I was in the right state. Stupid.
Self doubt has gotten me nothing over the year:
This is what I was thinking as I was driving home. I'm sick of doubting myself but I keep having to struggle with it. The reality is that this will always be a struggle but days like today where I experienced it at a key point in the evening really hurt.
I also experienced it briefly at the second venue. First, I never did open this set in the corner that Seagull and I kept talking about though I did open most of the other sets in the bar. My second mistake was when Seagull opened this hot, dressed up girls. Two were dancing and I knew the move was to bust out my dance moves and dance with them. To be fair, I was asking a lot of myself to do that as I still haven't gotten completely comfortable with dance floor.
Seagull trying at the end:
I told him that he should have pushed for the pull. I would have wanted him to pull my target rather than the guy from 5 years ago getting the lay. Seagull saw the girl outside with that guy and this other guy by the smoking area. He went right in and starting talking to her. Then he started talking to the guy and was telling me he was running distraction on the guy for me.
I told him later that he should have just tried to pull the set. He said he didn't want to steal my set. I said that we have to have a code word for when it's okay. I really wanted him to make the move since I wasn't doing anything.
Bad night is a missed pull opportunity:
I guess I should again find comfort in this night like I did that Saturday screw up where I missed the lay. This night was slow and seemed shitty all the way to this missed opportunity. Once again, these shitty nights are so much better than the shitty night I used to have in the past.
Bad nights seem to help me anyway. It compelled me to write this and I think I'll do better over the next few days as I'm again pissed off and motivated to do better.
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