Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I needed t0 lead, be decisive, just plan the next step, and remember that girls want sex, they want this to happen

I had a few days and analysis with Seagull and 2j to figure out where I went wrong.  It was helpful to me to write out those extremely long posts in that I was able to relive the experiences and examine where I went wrong.  I realized that I was lost in that overall, I haven't been in that many late game situations.  As this happens more and more, I'll get as comfortable there as I am in opening and other early situations.  The overall problem was that my mind set was off.  It was really helpful to talk to someone like 2j who more experienced with pulling.  By the time I had my talk with him on Monday, I realized that what I needed was to hear the thought processes that are going through his head when he's in the process of pulling. 

2j on Friday set:
Before I get into my lessons, I'll just say that he agreed that I should have thrown out the after party idea both in line, and then later after the diner.  One idea that immediately came into his head is that I could have said, "I can give you a ride home.  If I do, are you gonna invite me up for a drink?"  He said this would set the frame that I'm not just being a regular chump offering the ride home.  He said if she said, "No" he'd do a harsh takeaway by saying something like, "No, (start backturning) well, fuck you then.  I thought we were having a good time here."  Then, "I'm just kidding.  I'll give you a ride anyway." 

I debated whether going for the after party would have been worth it if it looked like the logistics meant I probably wasn't going to get laid.  He said that just spending more time there would solidify the set.  After further analysis, I also realized that getting the lay might have been a possibility as I think I wrote that one friend was driving home, my target and one of the other girls were roommate, and the third girl was staying there.  This girl likely had their own rooms and it probably wouldn't be like the Irish girls from two years ago that were sharing a tiny room.  Another lesson is that I need to screen for logistics, which I completely fail to do, so I'd know the exact situation in future sets.

Think of the next step:
I told 2j that I was just confused, which was understandable.  He brought back the old adage that RSD has repeated several times on the Free Tour: just think of the next step.  I got lost, first in debating whether I should try for the hotel or try to my place, or what the overall plan was.  2j said I should have just focused on the next move, so when I was walking to the hotel, I should have just focused my mind on how I was going to get upstairs instead of worrying about how I was going to plan the whole night. 

Be more decisive and lead:
Thinking back, this is where I was lacking.  Sure, I was leading more than usual and it actually felt good to act alpha.  I started to get unsure about if I was going to be able to go up.  RSD talks about assuming attraction at the start of the set.  I need to keep that mindset throughout the pull.  I should have got it into my head that this was happening.  This girl liked me and wanted this to happen and I just needed to take the steps to make it happen.  I do remember doubting if this girl was even into me in the end which makes no sense.

Girl like sex:
I can't believe I have to work on this lesson again, but it seems like I do.  I'm open minded in many ways when I come to sex.  I've written that I probably come across as a prude sometimes, I sure had a bit of that wrong mind set when I was walking with that redhead.  Most girls have had one night stands before.  They are not naive, especially in this day and age.  She knew what walking around with me and letting me walk her to the hotel likely would lead to and she yet I wouldn't acknowledge in my head that she wanted that to happen. 

What comes to my mind is that I understand all this logically now and accept that girls like sex and enjoy it and want it to happen.  I understand the societal pressures put on them and how they want it to happen a certain way with the right type of guy.  It seems to me that my problem is an inner game problem.  I haven't seem to internalize the belief that girls can want this to happen with me. 

I know it's just a process and I can work on this in the same way that I worked on the early version of this mind set.  What I mean is that this is same issue I had when I used to doubt if girls really wanted to talk to me after I opened them, or if the girls really want me to keep talking to them, or if they want me to escalate.  I was watching a good RSD Brad video where he talks about how if the girl is still standing in front of you, then it means it's on, she wants it. 

To break my wrong mindset, I just have to have the faith that it's true.  That's not entirely true.  I've pulled several times, so I have a few reference experiences to prove to me that I can meet a girl and then hook up with her on the same night. 

Act like I did when I actually pulled, and also like I did with that bouncer Saturday:
This is my ultimate lesson.  I realized that I had all these doubts about escalating or leading this weekend, and for the past few weeks.  I seem to have forgotten that deep down I know what I"m supposed to do.  I might not have the calibration down or the experience to know the exact tactics I need for every situation that can arise, but I at least should be able to recall the mindset that got me the SNL.  When I was able to pull, I had a belief in my head (and it was often pretty early on), that it was on with this girl, and that I was going to make it happen.  I felt confident and determined to make it happen and that's how I was able to deal with some resistance. 

I think back on that sat I pulled just a little over a year ago.  The one that kept having her friends calling and then kept throwing up all kind of verbal bullshit about wanting to go to this place for food, and then not wanting to, and then giving me bullshit about my lifestyle, before she ultimately just let it happen with so LMR when I dropped of tacos at Nintendo's place.  This redhead was giving me far less resistance.  I was just unsure of myself. 

Seriously, when I think about it now, I realize how badly I blew it.  The only resistance she gave was when I first opened her and she didn't want to go grab food the first 2-3 times I suggested it.  After that, she just followed my lead.  She didn't even object to walking her to the hotel. 

I disappointed her:
I was stupidly unsure if she waned to me to try to go upstairs, if she wanted to hook up with me.  Now, I realize that she knew the deal.  As I wrote before, she's likely done this before and knew what it meant to hang out with me this long and let me walk her to the hotel.  I wrote about what I felt were cocky comments.  Thinking back, when I said, "I'm enjoying this night" and she replied something like, "I bet you are..." meaning because I was with her, that was probably just a comment of knowing what the deal was.  She wasn't cocky in that she was suggesting that I was having a really good night by just walking with her.  In her head, she probably thought I was going to make this happen and we were going to hook up.

She should have thought that.  Until I became indecisive at the end, I really was the right type of guy that a girl would want to hook up with.  I was leading and showing all the alpha qualities that girl desire in guys.  I was charismatic and interesting.  I was way above the usual drunken guy or natural she'd probably meet out in the club. 

I really don't give myself enough credit, and it's somewhat due to the fact that I have such cool wings and have instructors as role models for what the epitome of game should be.  In my head, I'm often not sure, and I wasn't sure here because I had some crazy expectation of how perfect I should have been doing things.  I forgot the reality that girls often hook up with shit quality guys, especially when they meet drunken guys out in the club. 

She probably was horny and felt in the party mood especially because she was on a mini vacation.  She met me, and was following my lead, and then I didn't close the deal and got unsure at the end.  I'm sure that was disappointing on some level. 

I often think I'm avoiding making the girl uncomfortable when I don't push for the close, or on my worst days, when I don't open with full confidence, or what I don't try to move the girls around the club or lead in general.  Maybe when I'm in that mindset, I can remember that I'm actually creating discomfort by not making things happen and by not leading. 

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Fri FR: Street pickup, venue changes with Taylor Swift girl

After the AMOGing nonsense, I met up with 2j and the Natural and did some dance floor openings.  I felt like I was being an ADD party girl at one point in that I was bouncing all over the place.  I was trying to stop some moving girl, trying to talk to the next girl, and then trying to dance with some girl and rinse and repeat.

Seagull showed up a little bit later.  None of us seemed to get anything going in the hour that we had to sarge before closing time.  We went outside as the place closed and decided to try street game.  It wasn't until this night and subsequently Saturday that I regained my belief and confidence in street game.  This whole summer I forced myself to do it and kept wondering how I felt so much more comfortable last year just opening street sets.  Thinking back, I have had some good sets including that 2-set that turned awkward at the grilled cheese place.  My mind set, though, wrongly has been that I was just practicing and making moves but I didn't really believe I was actually going to make something happen.  Now, my thinking has changed.

Taylor Swift girl:
The girl in this report like Taylor Swift, though a bit taller and I have to admit, not as cute as the real thing, but about as slender.  Apparently, my girl was in a taco place a few weeks ago, and some guy came up to her and said, "OMG, you look like Taylor Swift."  Then he asked to take a picture of her and showed her how he instanta grammed (or whatever you call it) to a friend.  She said it felt so awkward.  That's how this whole thread started. 

Saturday night, Seagull said he watched a Taylor Swift video and said this girl really does have a strong resemblance to Taylor Swift.  I said that I'd have to see her again to make a final judgment as I'm not convinced.  Hopefully, I'll get the opportunity. 

4-set, chubby pale girl:
I opened a few sets immediately after hitting the street and then Seagull and I crossed the street.  I saw this 4-set sitting on the concrete window sill area of this bar.  I opened this pale girl that was a little chubby, but definitely doable.  Again, I don't remember the opener just like with my fetish girl on Saturday.  This is because the opener at this point really doesn't matter for me because I can just plow through whatever reaction I get.  Also, now that I'm getting deeper into sets, I tend to remember the mid and later stuff more clearly. 

My target  at the time was receptive to me. Seagull came in pretty quickly and I gave him my usual accomplishment intro and he started talking to the two girls farthest away from me.  The Taylor Swift girl (hereby referred to as TS) was seated next to my original target.  TS was quiet and aloof, but I thought she was the most attractive of the group.  (I giggled to myself on the drive home that I guess I didn't fully learn the lesson from Thursday.  I said I was going to go for the hottest girls, and here I was in this set not talking to the girl I found the most attractive, and just continuing with the one I opened as she was sort of my type, and, probably more importantly to me at the time, she was the most receptive.) 

2j called me when I was in set as he had been talking with the Natural and didn't see Seagull and I cross the street to get into this set.  I told him to come on over and help us with this set.  He arrived and I tried to introduce him to TS.  He tried to talk to her but she didn't really respond.

Seagull makes the move:
The next thing I know, I hear Seagull going for the venue change to the after hours bar down the street.  He said a funny line when one of his targets threatened that it better only be four blocks away.  Seagull said something to the effect of "If it's not, I can give one of you a piggy back ride."  It was funnier as it happened as we all giggled, and I'm not sure if that was even the exact line, but whatever it had been was good. 

The two girls started walking and TS and my original target lagged behind a bit.  2j said, "You guys go."  I tried to get him to come along, "You should come.  That one (TS) is attractive."  (I said that because I knew his reasons for wanting not to come along.  First, TS didn't even really respond to him despite me trying to push her to talk to him twice.  Second, he doesn't like to try to push sets to the end and stay up all night unless they are super hot to him.  He's gotten to the point where he doesn't feel like it's worth it for what he considers HB 6-7's for him as his had enough of them and looks more for quality than quantity.)  It turns out it was good he just left. 

Where in Asia have you been?
Seagull was walking with his two targets.  I kept trying to talk to my original pale girl as we were walking and TS was walking near us.  I teased TS a bit as she was having trouble at time with walking because of her heels.  Pale girl kept wandering ahead of me.  As we got closer to the venue, she seemed less engaged with our talks and I started to talk to TS instead. 

I don't remember much of how I transitioned talking to TS.  I just remember that travel came up and she asked me, "Where in Asia have you been?"  I mentioned Vietnam and she immediately said, "Where in Vietnam?" which isn't the standard question.  The only people who would ask that would be people of Vietnamese background or someone that has been there.  She followed up with, "I'm asking because I was just there recently." 

That thread ignited things for both of us.  I had pegged her as being shy and even a bit rude for not even acknowledging 2j when I introduced him.  I found her attractive as she is a taller blonde, but other than that I didn't think anything was going to be there.  It's funny because I just remember a thread I had with the pale girl when we all had just started walking.  Pale girl had mentioned she was in grab school and I remember putting my arm around her for a second and saying, "Oh cool.  I like smart girls."  She replied, "I'm not really that smart.  If you like smart girls, she's (point to TS) is the smart one."  I remember thinking at the time, "Yeah, whatever.  That's not happening."  Well, that thread just opened her up. 

This is an example of why you should just sometimes plow in sets.  The reason is that sometimes you hit a thread and the conversation and set just opens right up.  Obviously, this isn't that exact case, but the concept is the same.  Thinking back, it almost hard to reconcile that the TS at the beginning of the set was the TS I couldn't stop talking to for the rest of the night. 

Why are we in this long line?:
TS said that as we were standing in line.  I replied, "This place isn't even that great but it's the only thing open."  I started talking about the connected liquor store and said, "This place has good hours as it's the same as the after hours."  I remember saying something like, "If I lived right there, we could grab some beers from the liquor store and just chill there." 

This is where living close would have helped.  It almost might have worked if Seagull had heard this bit but he was too involved in talking to the two girls.  (A sidenote: Some guy had been talking to pale girl, I believe or one of the other girls and Seagull pointed out that he realized later he/we should have invited to the guy to stay with our group so we would have had one less girl to entertain and distract us.  Good point for future situations.)   I asked where my girl lived and she said this neighborhood that was a good 15-20 minute taxi ride.  Maybe I could have just pressed the after party at their place, but I didn't feel confident in that move so decided to play it safe but just sticking with going into the after hours bar.  Later, while analyzing with Seagull, I figured I could have just thrown out the idea out there to see if she'd go for it.  Not putting the idea out there wasn't necessarily playing it safe as I was going to lose the set if I had mentioned it. 

How do I deal with these 3 girls?:
We got inside and my two girls went to the back to use the rest room and it turns out to play this punching bag game.  We quickly decided to get a table.  Seagull's two girls grabbed this 4 person table.  I found this bigger booth but I was afraid to leave my spot to go get Seagull as I figured someone would take it.  I called him and he didn't pick up so I went to move them to my table and as we got there, these 3 Irish looking American girls stole my table as I had feared.  Fortunately, we just went back to the 4 person table and got two chairs so we could all sit. 

Seagull got into a focused conversation with his target.  I had his other target to my left, pale girl to my right, and TS across the little table.  For about twenty seconds, I was thinking, "Wow, how am I supposed to deal with this?  I have to keep three girls occupied and it's too loud to be able to talk in a way that all of them could hear me.  I also wanted to focus on talking to TS, and here Seagull has an isolated conversation going with his target. 

My solution ended up throwing a few bits of conversation at all the girls at different point.  I shouldn't have needed the reassurance, but I realized TS really liked me when she'd lean in to hear what I was saying and ask me to repeat myself when she couldn't hear. 

Venue food change:
I remember telling Seagull as we were walking that I'm lucky he decided to go for the venue change as I would have been stupid and just stood there talking to the girls and not have made the effort to move them.  Well, I redeemed myself at this point.  I remembered that TS had said she was hungry while we were waiting in line.  I remember now that I looked at the table and realized no one was drinking.  I thought about how hot I was (that place is so cheap with the air conditioning that I was sweating just sitting there) and decided we should get out of there.  I knew the food would be a hook and I already had mentioned the diner down the street.  I said to the group, "Since no one is drinking away, we should get some food.  There's this grilled cheese place, but it's loud.  This [diner place] has a full menu and there are interesting people that walk in." 

The girls agreed and we walked over.  When we eventually got into the booth, I positioned myself well.  It was one of those bottle service type booths where the seats wrap around the table.  TS went in one end, and I went in on the other so I'd be next to her.  I actually had to pee but I wanted to make sure the positioning was good so I went in even though I knew I'd have to bother everyone so I could get out a few minutes later. 

Aren't you guys done eating yet?
Seagull later told me that his two targets (I call them that as those were the two he talked to the most) hadn't seen each other for awhile and were the best of friends in the group.  He said he wished he could have gotten isolation but he said the friend of his target kept injecting herself into the conversation and staying with her the whole time.  While we were eating, I saw the two girls seemed to get involved into their own conversation. 

I was enjoying talking to TS.  Now, I normally eat super fast.  The exception is when I'm on a Day 2 and having a good conversation, and this was a similar situation.  Seagull's target had finished her food and TS and I were only halfway done.  One of Seagull's girls said, "Aren't you guys done eating yet?" 

TS replied, "No." 

I could tell by her response that she wasn't in a hurry to leave, but it soon became clear that one of the other two wanted to go.  One of those two mentioned how one of the girls had to drive a long way to get home.  TS said they could get the check and Seagull said, "We already got it." 

I knew I had to number close soon so I wouldn't be forced to take the awkward quick number close at the end.  (Again, here's an example where I should give myself some credit.  Just a few weeks ago, I felt the pain of being stupid and not number closing and not trying hard enough.  Here I was planning ahead.  I have been leading more this past week and making more moves.  Yeah, I still make mistakes that I shouldn't but I can believe I'm going to fix that.)  I just did the standard, "We should hang out again."  TS replied simply, "Yeah, we should."  I went for the number close. 

Here, Seagull and I debated later whether we should have pushed to try to do an after party at the girl's place.  We also debated if we should give them a ride home.  The girls left the restaurant and realized the Brown Line was no longer running as it was late.  They said the were going to take a taxi home.  I thought about offering a ride, but I knew the girls were in the opposite direction of where both Seagull and I were going.  I also figured it was unlikely we were going to hook up with the girls if 3 of the girls were staying at that apartment.  I had what seemed to be a solid number close so why push any more at this point? 

The counterargument is that we could have pushed it.  I think what has merit is that we could have tried it and not tried to really swing for the fences and risk that really awkward rejection.  I just didn't want to give them a ride home if we weren't going to close because in that case it would be more solid to just try to get a high probability day 2. 

I think I should have done the Brad "Hope you got home safe" but I didn't do it right away and it was too late after I was done driving and thought about it later.  I decided to text her Saturday night as I didn't want to wait till Sunday and have her wondering if I was the guy from Friday or some random guy she met Saturday.  I text her Saturday evening, "Hope you got some rest.  I enjoyed hanging out with you and your friends.  -Pokerpua (obviously my actual name)" 

I didn't expect a response as there's no real question there.  I just wanted to seed things so I could text later.  I knew it was still on when she text a response that was something like, "Yeah, I had fun too." 

I didn't want to try to set up at Day 2 for Saturday night as I wanted to hit River North.  Since she was responding, I was trying to set up for Sunday or some other day.  I was slow in replying so I got no response.  I'll just have to try again.  I figured she was out with her friends again and I was fortunate to get the few responses that I did.  I just have to text her again Sunday or Monday and try again. 

I think I did this about right:
That's my final analysis, though I still want to run this by 2j as he's more experienced with late game stuff.  I didn't go for a kiss close, but that wouldn't have been appropriate here.  My only other possible move was to try to get my girl to the dance floor, but then that would have left Seagull stuck with 3 girls.  Maybe I should have tried it, but I'm not unhappy with how things played out.  As I mentioned above, there were some debatable moves of just pushing for a party at Seagulls place early instead of going into the first venue, and pushing for the after party after the diner.  Again, I'll have to talk to 2j.  

Fri: Extreme positive state control and You don't know who the fuck you're dealign with (Tooling a bouncer)

The order of the posts are messed up in that I wrote about Saturday first and now I'm writing about Friday.  I could have just changed the times but I like to put the posts up as I write them rather than how the events occurred chronologically.

Staying Positive:
I thought Friday was going to be total shit.  I was slow in getting ready and got to Wrigley late.  It turns out I got there exactly when 2j arrived and Seagull ended up running even later than he had predicted.  I was in a great state and was expecting good things to happen.  As we approached Sheffield's, which is usually where I stop to take a piss and do a few warm up sets, I opened my wallet and realized I didn't have my ID.  When I go jogging, I take my ID and a credit card in a plastic bag.  Usually, I keep my wallet in the same place I always leave the bag so I'll see them there and check my ID.  Usually, I double check that I have my ID when I'm pulling out of my parking lot.  This evening, I somehow drove all the way without my ID.

I verbalized my problem and tried to figure out what I should do.  I could drive back, or 2j pointed out I could just run street sets all night.  There would be plenty of street sets, but I didn't like that idea at the time.  I had to pee and didn't want to have to do in the alley, and I just didn't see how I could go anywhere that early with a set that didn't involve me having to show an ID to get into a venue.  I decided to drive back home because I figured I could still get back with time to sarge.

I was angry, but I kept myself in a decent mood.  The drive cost me about an hour of time.  On the drive home, I promised myself I wouldn't just use it as an excuse to stay home.  As the drive took longer than I expected, I actually text 2j that I wished I had just stayed and done street sets.

This is where I really do need to give myself credit.  I didn't just use this setback as an excuse to waste a night and I didn't ruin my night either by getting in a shitty mood.

I won't be ignored:
When I got back, I did a speed walk to where 2j was waiting.  2j ended up being able to meet up with the dance game Natural I met up in July.  I verbally thanked the Natural for getting me out of my dance floor cocoon. 

The speed walk got me pumped up, but I knew I had to get things started fast.  I saw this seated bachelorette set.  They looked like they were in a serious mood, but I decided to open.  Part of me wanted to hesitate, but as I kept saying to people that evening, I knew I had to "condense four hours of fun into one hour" so I sure couldn't waste time not opening.

I opened the girl by saying, "What's with the sour face?" and then I threw in that 4 hours of fun bit.  She didn't really respond.  This big black guy who I recognized as being a bouncer there cut in the space I had left between me and the girl.  The girl said, "Thank you" to the guy.

Seriously?  That pissed me off a bit, on both counts.  First, the girl gave me a 10 second audition and was giving me that response.  Of course, we all get busted out all the time, but her response was the low percentages of responses I get.  The way she reacted, I usually would have plowed for about 20 seconds more and then just left if I didn't hook.  She pissed me off in that she felt the need to verbally thank the guy as if I had been sitting there creeping her out for like 5 minutes or something.  I literally had been in the set for 10-15 seconds max.  Girls should know that they'll get approached in bars, and I'm not being cocky by saying that I'm one of the better approaches she'd see that evening.  Sure, I might not have been warmed up, but I know most guy says really dumb shit and come in with bad body language and really lame or creepy stuff.

Now, fuck that bouncer too.  You need to come do white knight rescue bullshit because you see me open a girl for 10 seconds and you see me not get a good response?

You don't know who the fuck you're dealing with:
I feel a bit cocky writing that, but that's also what thought crossed my mind at the time, and it helped me get into state.  I could see myself just walking away from that set on many nights, but I was in rare for that evening. 

What I write isn't some blind faith, self delusional bullshit.  I know from the countless sets I've opened what the responses to my presence fall within the norm.  This bouncer guy was using me to try to pump his status with the set and not because I was being creepy and the set needed to be rescue. 

Fuck you!  This is when my AMOG side comes out to just prove a point.  I'll admit I overcompensate with this sometimes.  Guys don't get to use me to pump up their status.  You have to do your own work and I'm not just going to be a guy you can walk over at this point in my life.

"You might be twice my size, but you don't have to ignore me."
 You can title this section also with what Jeffy says in "Transformations," "It's amazing what you can get away with."

The bouncer cut in and the girl said thank you.  I just stood there.  He introduced himself to the girl that thanked him and to the two other girls at the table.  (Oh, I forgot to mention that just as we were standing there, some drunk idiot started touching this inflatable animal prop they had their in a weird way but then walked away.  That just proves how other guys do even dumber shit and how the bouncer just used me as an in to this set).  After he introduced himself to the girls, I said, "Hey man, what's your name?"

The bouncer had some moves as he just ignored me.  Yes, that's what he should do in that situation.  Now go back to the heading of the previous section.  I'm still not gonna give up.  I know that you should ignore me, therefore such behavior does not result in the desired effect.  First, I'm supposed to show some physical signs of losing state being I'm being ignored, but I don't, again because I understand how this social dynamic works, and because I don't care what you, Mr. Bouncer, or these dumb girls think of me.  More importantly, I'm not going to just walk away or just stand there silent as you take over the show, which is what ignoring me is mainly supposed to accomplish.

With a smile on my face, I just started doing the bear hug slap on the back that I learned from Jeffy's video.  I then said, "Hey, you might be twice my size, but you don't have to ignore me."  I'm actually giggling as I type that out again, because the more I think about it, the line actually makes no sense.  The reason it works is that while I sound all pissed at times when I'm writing this post, what I was feeling at the time, I'd describe as determination.  It's like this beast gets unleashed within me, and my AMOG dominant side that I probably should bring out more often comes out.  I'm smiling and joking around as I'm doing this so, as Tyler has explained in his old AMOG theory posts, the guy can't get pissed at me or he looks stupid.

I think his initial response was to turn to acknowledge me.  Then he smiled and said, "Hey, come over here for a second."  We walked a few feet away to the bar. 
Bouncer: Hey, those girls told me do that.
Me: Lol.  Yeah, nice one.  No, they didn't.  I see what you're doing.  Good job. 

I then walked away.

What's the point?
I know that's what some guys would think.  I don't get the girl so why bother?  Well, I could have just walked away, but the problem is that it would have bothered me.  For me, this isn't about getting the girl, although knowing how to do this can help in certain situations where a guy is trying to bust into your set or steal you girl.  You actually can use it to bust out lame guys from sets, though I haven't tried to do that in awhile (I should start doing that again, especially at closing time on the streets when you can tell it's an obvious pickup attempt). 

I do this because I don't allow guys to use me to build their social status or to build state.  I allowed that far too long in my life, but fortunately I discovered pickup and learned how to deal with it and learned to be comfortable with myself.  I could just ignore it and that's one way to handle it.  In this case, ignoring it is fine because I don't even want that particular set, and the girl wasn't even responding to me.  If you ignore it every time, though, you won't now how to get rid of an AMOG when you're actually with a girl that's into you. 

I also do this because I build state off of it.  It's fun.

I like that some guy thinks I'm an easy target and then I come back with a barrage of stuff of AMOG Tyler tactics that he has no clue how to deal with.  This is especially true for this bouncer I'm sure.  He so used to guys being intimidated by his size that my response was the last thing he was expecting. 

Sat FR: From street to hotel with my dream fetish girl

The title sounds cooler than the reality.  With a little better moves, it probably should have been entitled "Sat SNL."  Unfortunately, I'm really kicking myself, but at the same time, I know I should be happy I even got to this point.

My dream fetish girl:
I wrote half of this post before I realized that I hadn't even described the girl.  This story would be worthwhile for any set as I'm forced to learn some hard lessons from it.  Also, it's a example of how I pushed myself through some negative thoughts, bad sets, and got something out of pushing myself to just open one last set.

There are certain types of girls that really turn me on.  I like Polish girls that have the accent.  I like really tall girls.  I like blondes.  I like snow white looking girls with black hair and pale skin.  The pale skin is key to all types for me.  My all time favorite, though, is a natural redhead (meaning her eyebrows are actually the same color as her hair, which also indicated any hair below will also be that color).  The girl in this set was a cute redhead.  I'll like even fat redheads, but this girl was attractive.  I'd later learn that she works out a lot and watches her diet.  She was about my height.  The only way you could have improved this girl for me was for her to be a little taller, but that's just nitpicking.

I was in River North, so I saw a ton of hot girls tonight.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that if I had to choose any girl to hook up with tonight, it would have been the girl that is the subject of this field report.  There were one or two hot blondes that would be close.  Those blondes would arguable have been hotter in terms of body or had prettier faces, but again, this redhead just is my type of girl. 

Seagull's almost quick pull:
I'll start with where I was an hour before I even met the girl in question.  Seagull and I really started late.  I spent like 20 minutes waiting outside the venue as I didn't want to go inside.  I even got a drink at 7-11 and broke the open container law.  I made jokes in set about the "Party Bus stop."  The bus stop had 5 people drinking beers out in the open.  My drink looked like an Arizona iced tea can so I just stood back with my phone on this concrete wall and my drink next to it.  I figured there was no way I'd get a ticket as any cop bothering to write for this offense would see the 5 people at the bus stop first.

When we finally went into our first venue, Seagull and I got into this good 2-set that turned out to be part of a bachelorette party.  We got our targets isolated but I lost mine.  We left the place and tried to go next door but they had stopped letting people in so we worked the River North street game.  

Seagull opened this lone wolf set on the street.  He was gone for awhile, and then I could no longer see him so I figured he must have pulled.  I learned later that he had gotten in a cab with her to her place.  She paid for the cab but he couldn't get upstairs.  He ended up cabbing it back to me.

While this was happening, I made a few attempts to open.  I'll be honest in that they were weak attempts.  I threw out some comments at girls and didn't really get any to stop.  I did open this 2-set that looked promising but then they went inside Social 25.  I at least forced myself to do something which many guys would have not have done in that situation.

Still, in my head, the thoughts did cross my mind of "Wow, this sucks.  He pulled already and now I'm stuck solo and I can't get shit to happen.  I wish I could pull."

Again, this is where I do have the skill to will myself to keep trying.  I did my usual self talk, "Well, if you want to pull, you can't just stand her doing nothing as you know how that's going to turn out."

I really didn't expect anything was going to happen this evening though.  

Harvest the crops/One more set:
By the time Seagull got back, the streets had started to empty and our after hours venue had stopped letting people in.  We walked to the R&R Mcdonald's and Castle to work some street sets.  Nothing was sticking.  We tried Sound Bar/Spy Bar.  Same thing.  Neither of us could get anything to stick.

We actually sat down by the sidewalk and were about to go to the car.  As we had sat around for about 5 minutes, I look back by Sound/Spy Bar and said, "We can go try to harvest again.  The crops have repopulated themselves."  Yes, I really worded it like that.

I didn't see any new sets and I was about to call it a night when I say this lone wolf.  Part of me was thinking, "This is probably going to be a waste of time.  A friend or some guy is gonna walk out, but whatever..."

The set improved with Kino:
I don't even remember what opener I used.  I just remember I started talking and she was receptive.  I remember her telling me she was waiting for a friend.  I remember her texting the friend and seeing a picture of a cat as her screen saver and commenting about that.  As much as I beat myself up about escalation, I did learn from my mistakes and try to kino.  I can recall touching her shoulder, putting my arm around her, and trying to hold her hand.

Seagull later told me that he just remembers the set really seemed to get better when I started kinoing more.

Now, I know it's on:
We were talking, and I felt it was on as when I went for the hand hold, she was receptive.  It's obvious if the girl dislikes you if she reacts badly to the hand hold.  If she's not that into you, she'll let go of your hand or hold it like a dead fish.  She seemed fine with the hand hold, and I did the old Mystery thing of transitioning to interlocking fingers and she was fine with that.

The problem was what to do now.  She said she her friend was in the club but she didn't want to pay to get back in.  I wanted to move her off the street so I threw out food.  My car was like 6 blocks away and I didn't think she was going to go for that big of a move, so I threw out food at the R&R Mcdonald's which was two blocks away.  She hesitated on that and I just alternated among blowing it off and changing the subject and reassuring her with how close it was.

What sealed the deal for me was when she called one of her friends.  I found out she was staying in a hotel room with two other girls.  One was already back at the hotel and one was in the club.  She was talking to the one who had just gotten back to the hotel and I heard her say, "I'm probably going to go to Mcdonald's."

Well, I have to be a dumb ass to not be confident that she was ready to go with me at that point.  I'd comment here that I should just act with the confidence that the girl wants to follow my lead.  I shouldn't need something that obvious.  Furthermore, by acting like I expect a girl to follow my lead, she's more likely to do so and such behavior is attractive on a very instinctive level.

I grabbed her hand and started leading her to the McDonald's.

Choose the big booth next time:
We got the McDonald's, and I ended up paying for the meal which part of me thinks I shouldn't have done.  I think I screwed myself with my little joke saying, "You can tell your friends I took you to this fancy dinner at McDonald's."  I felt on the hook to pay as the group in front of us just happened to finish just after I said that and it was our turn to order just after I said that.

While we were waiting for our order, some guy jumped into our conversation.  My girl had mentioned something about the "Super Size Me" movie and the guy jumped on that thread.  In my head I was thinking, "Great, the usual fucking problem with having to deal with competing guys."

That half a second of insecurity is understandable as I had just gone through some bullshit on Thursday that I wrote about in a previous entry.  My state control is good as I immediately shifted my thoughts, "Just be relaxed and cool."

I was standing close to her so I had that going for me.  She was drunk so she was overly friendly and asked him for his name.  He introduced himself to me also.  Thinking back, I made a good subtle move.  He asked her something to the effect of "How's your night?"  I didn't allow her to answer.  I said, "We're having a great night."

I didn't have to even deal with anything more as his food order came and then ours came. 

I had a moment where I thought I could get screwed.  I decided to lead her upstairs so we'd be away from the guy and because I knew the seating was better.  We got on the escalator and then she realized she needed a straw so she hopped off.  I was stuck going up.  I knew if the guy had any moves or was just drunk, he'd see her standing there by the napkins alone and would engage her.  Being drunk, most girls will be receptive to that, and I was stuck going upstairs.  I'd have to come back down and steal her away if that happened.  Part of me wanted to run the two steps backwards on the escalator to get off but I figured that would be too needy so I just let myself go up.

I was trying to assess where to sit as I've screwed myself out of kino in this situation before.  I elimiated the booths where we were sitting across.  I ended up chosing a table that had movable chairs.  I set us up to be at the corner, but it ended up being to far to be able to touch her easily.  In retrospect, I should have chosen one of the giant bottle service type booths where I could have sat right next to her and really been able to kino. 

Too concerned about getting to the hotel:
To be fair with myself, I do a learn from my mistakes, it's just slower that I'd like.  Just a few weeks ago, this set wouldn't have even gotten to the McDonald's.  After we finished eating, I lead her around the Mcdonald's to show her the memorabilia display.  I didn't know what to do.  After analyzing with Seagull, I realized that I should have been figuring out ideas of how to get her isolated and get up to her hotel.  In chess and poker, you should be planning a bit ahead but her I was just winging it.  She said, "I think I'm going to take a cab back to the hotel."

I feel dumb, but not too long ago, I would have lost the set here.  I made myself keep trying.  I told her I'd walk her to the hotel.  Again, I should have been planning how to get upstairs.  That was my lesson in December when I got to a cute blonde's hotel but didn't even try to get upstairs.  It was too long ago that the lesson didn't stick in my head this time.

I kept leading her and then I had to GPS it because I realized I had gotten lost.  We sat down by Pizzeria Due.  Thinking back, I screwed up an opportunity her.  I couldn't figure out how to escalate while walking.  I was holding her hand but I had needed to do more.  At times, she seemed in a hurry to get back because she kept talking about how tired she was and how she couldn't wait to go to sleep.  When we stopped at the bench, she seemed relaxed.

As I think back, I can't believe how I was so concerned about finding the directions to the hotel.  The bench was an opportunity to set up a make out so I'd have a better chance of getting upstairs.  I merely needed to just start talking about whatever and escalate.  I also could have went the verbal pattering type route and said something like, "Isn't this crazy?  I feel so comfortable with you. It's crazy how just seconds or feet can make a difference in life.  I almost didn't walk by Spy Bar, but because I did, I happened to start talking to you and here we are."  Blah, blah, and while I'm saying that, I could have stroked her hand and gazed into her eyes and went for the kiss. 

Thrown off by the cocky comments:
I'm realizing now as I type this that in the moment, I was thrown off a bit by what I perceived to be cocky comments she made.  I'm having a hard time thinking of some of the exact lines, but the gist as I remembered it was that I was lucky because she was there with me.  Well, that's true, but I knew the frame was supposed to be that she was lucky to have met me.

As I think back, I should have thrown some of that frame back at her.  Yes, that would have been the correct move.

Give more IOI's and project some sexual state:
As I kept trying to remember what she actually said that fit the previous section, I realized two probably more important concepts.  First, I need to give more IOI's just in general.  I think this is related to my escalation problems.  I'm too caught up in not showing that I'm interesting in the girls.  I show some interest with strong eye contact and some kino, but I'm afraid to verbalize it.  I think the fear stems from the old AFC awkward teenage years when I'd show interest in a girl and get laughed at by her and/or everyone in school.  There's that old fear and I've perverted a piece of pickup theory as well.

With really hot girls, you do want to show disinterest.  You don't want to look like you interested in a girl because she's hot because that's what all guys too.  Now, this redhead was my total type, but she wasn't of the HB9-10 caliber that I'd need to act like that.  Even with a dime, you do need to show a legitimate reason of why you are interested in the girl.

With this girl, I actually remember how I changed the interaction with what I would deem a stupid physical IOI.  I remember early on that she made a comment like, "You'd probably just be happy with any girl."  I knew that was a shit test and I passed by saying, "Actually, I have a thing for redheads, but maybe it's a that Oedipal thing for nurses."  (I had mentioned earlier that my mom was a nurse.)  She giggled and said, "That's called having a fetish."

On the bench by Due or in the McDonald's, I needed to verbalize reasons why I liked her that were beyond the fact that she wasn't totally my physical fetish and I wanted to have wild crazy sex with her.  If there are no other reasons, I'm sure the advice would be to just make shit up, but honestly, there were things I liked about her personality.

Fuck, there it is:
I sometimes wonder why I bother writing these super long posts, and here is the gem right here.   When I really analyze a set, I'll make a key discovery sometimes that really gets to the heart of my current problems.  I just hit it right as I finished the last section, and that's why I typed out the title of this section.

I kept telling Seagull, "Fuck.  Why didn't I go for the kiss close?"  That's the same thing I've been writing about for weeks now.  I thought it was fear of escalation.  I thought it was Tyler's old "State Control" post problem.  The explanation would be that I didn't go for the close because I didn't want to risk feeling bad from the rejection or risk messing up the set.  Of course I know that making moves really enhances things and it messes up things more by no escalating.  I've felt I've practiced ego protection.  I want to just feel like I'm good a pickup and I can use not escalating to keep myself feeling that I'm supposedly good a pickup.  My ego fears that if I go for kiss closes and get myself into those awkward moments like I wound up with that black girl at that grilled cheese place, then I'll have to admit or face that I'm not as good as I think.

Well, I'm sure all those reasons play a part, but the IOI problem is the big discovery for me.

I can just see myself back on the bench at Due or even at the Mcdonald's despite the not perfect seating arrangement.

I kept wondering how I could have created the kiss close. Well, I could have done some physical games like lifting her or spinning her.  What would have been more solid would just have been to hold her hand on the bench or put my arm around her.  I'd look her right in the eye and if she wasn't giving solid eye contact, she would after I started talking.

I could have started with the general pattering I talked about earlier.  The key would have been to give her reasons why she was special to me.  Girls want to feel special and not feel like you'll just hook up with any girl that night.  I could have said something like, "I told you I have a fetish for redheads.  That's what drew me to you initially.  You're really sexy, but I think the reason I feel so comfortable with you, so drawn to you is that you are different that most girls I meet.  You're not the drunken party girl that has no other life.  You have a good heart: I am in a unique position to understand how tough your job is and how under-appreciated you can feel at times.  You are cultured (she likes theater)."

I could go on with more or cut some stuff, but just saying that, holding her hand and looking into her eyes, I'm sure she would have gotten that DDB look, especially if I added in patterning about how perfect the evening was and how memorable the evening was/is compared to how it would have been if she had just kept standing outside the club with her phone.

I really do think this is a moment of clarity for me.  If I make the effort to give legitimate IOI's when I get deeper into the sets, I think I'll create more situations where the kiss close opportunity will feel like it's there.

Make the attempt anyway:
About a block away from the hotel, I threw out, "Do you have a good view from your hotel room?"  I remember writing about that as a move to try to use to get up to the hotel room.  In my head, I thought, "I haven't made out with this girl, there's no way I'm getting upstairs."  Still, I should have taken advantage of my move.  She told me they had a great view from their room.  I didn't even try when we got to the front of the hotel.  I took her number which I knew was dumb.  I didn't even try any other reason or just try to walk in with her.  To go back to my post about simple mistakes, this is where a random guy who got to this point would at least make the effort.

I can tell that it was like a 5% chance I would have gotten up, but you still have to try to throw it into the end zone when the games on the line.  There's the football analogy.  Time is expiring and I'm down 6 points and rather than throw the ball into the end zone to my covered receiver, I just took the sack.  It's like taking the sack when you have the time to throw the ball but just decide to give up rather than take the slim chance.

The game was lost for sure here, but it really was lost when I made prior mistake the 20-30 minutes prior to this moment where I found myself in front of the hotel, with a girl who was totally my type physically.

Manwhore would say to tell the little white lie:
At one point, she asked me where I was staying.  I told her the truth, that I was driving 30 minutes away.  Now, when a blonde told me that in December, I really think she had thrown that out for me as a hint to try to pull her to my place instead of the hotel room.  In this case, I don't think that was the move.

She still might have been giving me a hint.  Instead of telling her the truth, I could have said, "It's sucks.  I have a long drive" or "I have to wait till the 8am train."  She had said this early on during the walk to her hotel room.  I could have mentioned it there or at the end as a move to try to go upstairs.  I could have asked, "Can I crash on your hotel room floor?"

Saying that when she made that comment would have been a higher move than the hotel view excuse. 

Good with the complicated, bad with two key skills

I write this thinking that the analysis will help me feel better.  As I'll soon write, I feel so frustrated in that I'm failing to close because of some simple failures that guys with no skills wouldn't screw up.  I'm not talking about total BAFC's who can barely talk to a girl, but just guys who could get a ONS at one point in their life just by trying to make it happen. 

As I've written far too often I keep screwing up escalation.  RSD Alex, I believe, says that the key point is to just be the type of guy that makes moves.  I can't seem to go for a kiss close.  I can say that I'm not totally back where I started with this problem in that if I'm face to face with the girl and she's gazing into my eyes and we're in isolation and have created some connection, I'll go for it.  Seagull describes my problem right when he said that you don't always have to wait for that "movie" type moment where it's on to go for it. 

This is back to Alex's point.  I know it too.  I just have to go for the kiss closes and I know the theory is that even if it gets rejected, as long as you aren't affected by the rejection, you actually create attraction by having gone for the move.  I just need to get the girl close and go for it.

So, I'm being a little hard on myself when I beat myself up for having problems with escalation.  Many guys suffer from this.  The other skill is that I just don't make the final move.  To go the old football analogies, I had a moment where I was near the end zone, and I didn't even throw the pass to a possibly open receiver even though I had created a good route.

I'll explain more in my actual field report, but I didn't actually try to get up to this girls hotel room.  I asked about the view from the room as I knew I could try that excuse as a reason to go up, and then I just let the set end by trying for a lame number close and letting her walk inside. 

I'm frustrated because this is an area for guys with shitty or no skills would have at least made an attempt. 

On the bright side, I really do have a lot of difficult skills internalized.  I make myself open and I'll approach the hottest girls.  I really can keep myself in a positive state.  I didn't write the field report for Friday yet, but the night started off with me forgetting my ID and having to waste an hour to go home and get it.  I didn't even get that pissed and came back in a good state.  I'm getting better at forcing myself to do dance floor game.  I've gotten back to getting confident with street sets.  Friday and Saturday's field reports involve girls I opened on the street in front of the club. 

I know there's a lot of stuff that I really do write but I can't help but feeling frustrated with my current sticking points.  As I'll explain, I could have just hooked up with one of my dream fetish type girls with just a little better moves...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Go for hotter girls cause they care less about looks

I take the title of this post as my lesson for the day.  It's a bit of a rant resulting from this birthday set with bad logistics, but there's some truth there as well that's only going to help me. 

I started out the evening in a bad mood.  I took a nap and woke up thirsty and I just felt unsettled.  Talking with my wing men helped improve my mood and we warmed up at this new roof top venue.  Nothing much happened there so we hit our usual spot.  My trip, that I should make some posts about, I fear made me like drinking again.  The three beers I had seemed to just ignite my state, which I feel is somewhat of a cheat code.  While I was slightly intoxicated, I kept thinking I was losing my ability to get things going sober, but I realize now that it's not true.  I had a good night pushing sober with some forums guys last Thursday, and I had a rougher next the following night drunk. 

Going back into set and dance floor:
I did kick myself in state with the beers and then just opening.  What I'm happiest about is that I pushed myself hard tonight.  With the set in question, I returned 5-6 times, though in retrospect, I should have gone back in earlier in the night instead of waiting until closing times.  I approached this other set several times.  This slightly chubby snow white looking girl was into me, but she kept getting dragged away by her friend.  The very last time was near closing time and her friend and two guy friends dragged her away so I figured it was a lost cause at that point.  I also didn't see them again. 

I must say dance floor is easier when you're drinking.  I made several attempts there, though I wasn't as confident with this tall blonde as I should have been.  Still, I think I'll do better Friday (tonight), and I'm forcing myself to do sober sarging tonight. 

Dance floor opening:
Before I start my rant, let me set the scene on this birthday set.  There was this cute girl with a party hat on, but it turns out she was just wearing it for this chubby blonde who was having her 21st birthday party.  I opened my target on the dance floor.  I danced with her for a bit and she wandered off and I didn't try to scoop her back off because I didn't want to dance there all night. 

Here might have been my mistake.  I should have just started to lead at that point.  I consistently have been making the error of not leading enough, but at the same time, it's hard to pull the girl away from a birthday set like this.  As I said above, I think I could have gone back earlier in the night instead of waiting until the end.  Some other guys worked their way into the set.  I realized this later when Seagull and I were working the set outside.  There were these two guys that I had seen hanging out with the set.  One of them kissed this girl that ended up not going to the after hours.  This set turned out not to really have cockblocks in it, so had I gone in sooner, I might have been able to isolate and escalate with my target. 

Didn't know how to lead because my target wasn't the leader:
When I saw my birthday set outside, I went back in.  I kept throwing out ideas and fishing for information from my target and she kept saying, "I don't know what we're doing.  I'm not the leader."  As I write this, I guess the move was to just go through the birthday girl, but she was drunk and wandering around trying to hit on random guys. 

At this point, my target told me the birthday girl wanted to get laid.  Seagull was working this cute brunette and my target pointed her out and said, "That one has a boyfriend" and made it seem like Seagull was wasn't his time.  I told Seagull this so he could change targets if he wanted. 

My target was a little all over the place.  Maybe I should have chosen one of the other girls.  I talked to one of the other friends later and she was a bit more receptive and interactive and maybe I would have done better with her.  I liked my target; however.  My girl went to find the birthday girl. 

I don't know how to steal her from that guy:
I said that to Seagull.  Some random guy was talking to my girl and I remember blurting that out.  Seagull told me to go back in.  I knew that was the move but I was just stalling and his prodding made me do it.  He also did the old trick of engaging the guy with some bullshit (Seagull told me he just asked the guy about after hours) and I opened my target.

I kept pushing for the nearby after hours.  Seagull mentioned how he doesn't like that place.  I don't like it either, but the girls confirmed they wanted some clubby after hours place as opposed to a low key bar.  Finally, the girls decided to go to after hours. 

At after hours, I danced with my girl again, but Seagull was right in pointing out that I should have pushed for isolation and tried to escalate.  I had it in my head that I wasn't going to get my girl away from the birthday group, but I didn't even try.  It might not have been possible but I need to at least make the move. 

Later, the set went outside.  I felt a bit uncomfortable following them out, but then I thought of something in the spur of the moment.  It was hot so when I got outside, I engaged my target and said, "Wow, it's hot as hell in there.  I just came out to get some air.  You guys are leaving already?"

The birthday girl was all over trying to talk to guys.  My target kept following the birthday girl..  Birthday girl would later verbalize how she was annoyed that my target (and some of her other friends) would steal the attention of the guys from her.  It wasn't a conscious thing.  The girls would just walk up and the guys would start talking to the cuter friends. 

At one point, this tall English guy caught my targets attention.  Now, here is where I admit I was just at a disadvantage.  My target had studied abroad in England and really enjoyed it.  Here was a good looking guy who had decent presence who reminded her of all the good times there. 

This didn't stop me from trying.  I left the set for a bit and then I went back in.  I actually threw out some standard Tyler AMOG lines, put my arm on the guy, and started talking.  I actually dominated the conversation there, and I should have just kept talking.  Instead, I left because I figured I couldn't keep it up and it was a lost cause.  Later, I went back in.  Again, I pulled her attention away from him for a bit, but then she'd turn to listen to his story again as he kept talking to the other friend.

If you're selling a Ferrari:
I remember Tyler or someone saying something like this.  Basically, this girl didn't want what I was offering anymore.  At first, I felt a bit inadequate, but then I just got into a pissed off rant.  Finally, I settled on this little bit.  I might not have been in my top form, but I know that I have cool and interesting things to say.  That used to be just a blind faith belief, but I know through reference experiences that many girls have just loved my verbal game.  I was saying some good stuff and it did catch her attention, but she just kept getting drawn back to that guy. 

I realized that I just needed to forget it.  If you're selling a Ferrari, you don't need to convinced your buyer.  If they don't want what you're offering, find a different buyer.  This girl wasn't worth my time at this point and I was just beating my head against a brick wall. 

Average girls are more impressed by looks:
I could have made this rant about my target, but I get why this was a special case with this English guy.  What set me off was the birthday girl.  She and this other friend went back inside, and I came up with the idea that we'd try to isolate them onto the dance floor and away from the friends outside.  Seagull was able to get his new target to stay but I couldn't keep the birthday girl from going directly outside again.

I opened her again outside, and she started getting crazy about having lost this earring.  The friend actually found it and the birthday girl got all excited.  She gave me a quick kiss on the lips in excitement, but then went to the friend.

Being drunk and an ADD party girl, she got distracted by some tall guy that sensed the high buying temperature and starting talking to her.  I tried going in.  I think I got a little too confident.  I came in saying total nonsense.  She had been trying to find some other lost item, and I came in saying, "I found it! I found the answer!"

She got excited and then I just said, "The answer is, it comes from within."

I think my mistake was I just stopped with that, as if it were supposed to inspire some moment of enlightenment.  In retrospect, I should have just plowed with more material and I might not have gotten busted out.  Instead, I stood there for a second, and then she told me goodbye and went back on this taller dude.

Time for the rant:
At this point, I'm aggravated.  I made some mistakes here.  I should have engaged my target more earlier in the night.  I should have plowed with more material in my last interaction with the birthday girl.  In any case, I've heard what I'm about to say in theory, and I've also have enough reference material to lead some credence to this theory.  Witnessing Andydufresne at time is also evidence.

Looks don't matter.  If you're game is on, your looks don't matter, and you can trump better looking guys with superior game.  That's the old community mantra, and I've come to truly believe it from experience through the years.

What I've also come to learn is that the average looking girls, and I guess uglier girls as well, but I stay away form them nowadays, care more about looks than the hot girls.  Andydufresne would get a lot of give me from average girls.  He'd get opened by them and give him less resistance.  That's cool and last year, there was a period when I was envious of it.  I finally got over it when I realized it was a curse as much as a gift.  It sounds like a gift because I would love to get opened and have an easier time getting laid.  It's a curse because the hot girls that we all want, that he wanted as well as he tired of 7's, don't care as much about looks.  Andydufresne wouldn't get opened by the super hot girls.  To get the super hot girls, you just have to be more alpha and run smooth game just like anyone else does.

Back to my own experiences, it's with average girls or worse that I've had turn their attention to some taller, good looking guy.  Now, this doesn't happen when I've had them hooked.  Often, it's when I'm trying to hook for closing time game, and the girl is drunk or something.  Again, the English guy is a different story.  He had some unique thing going for him that my target liked.  I told Seagull that it would be equivalent to me turning my attention to a redhead or a Polish girl over my target.  The English guy had some decent stories and good enough game, so I can't feel too bad.  It pissed me off when the guy has shit game, and it's obvious the girl is just drawn by his looks.

The theory:
I remember reading something about this, so it isn't just my ranting creation.  It's that average girls try to boost their self esteem by trying to hook up with some better looking guys to make them feel better about themselves. The hot girls don't do this.  They are more drawn by a dominant guy and a guy who cool.  This reminds me of what Tyler said about how you can just be "friendly and cool" with really hot girls and it's a huge DHV.  It doesn't do much with average girls because they are used to a lot of guys coming up to them and being calm and cool as the guys aren't intimidated by them.  The really hot girls have the experience of too many guys not being to act normal around them and Tyler says this is why being able to do so stands out so much.

My experience:
I'll close with that tall brunette from River North that I keep talking about to Seagull and I keep writing about in posts here.  That particular night in question, I was in top form, so I probably would have had a better chance of just really hooking my target.  On the other hand, there's a lesson from that night as well. 

I remember there was this average looking girl and my hot target that night.  There was this tall, buff, good looking guy nearby.  I had engaged the two set.  I had actually opened my target earlier but she had wandered off and I opened her again in this 2-set.  The guy might have been an orbiter.  When he got close, the average girl jumped on him and tried to bust me out by saying, "This is my boyfriend." 

Then the lame ass tried to bust me out by saying, "Yeah, these are both my girlfriends." 

Lol.  That's exactly what I thought, especially because I was in massive state.  My thoughts right now are, "If you think I'm going to walk away with some dumb ass line like that, you've got to be kidding." 

My hot target gave him this sour face as well. 

2j would explain this with his bit about how he's found that the hotter girls (I'm talking legitimate HB8-9's, meaning here in Chicago, the hottest girls you'd see in a particular venue or the hottest girls you might see all night after hitting several venues) are more socially calibrated.  She gave the guy a weird look because he was being socially awkward. 

On top of that, I'd say she wasn't impressed by his look.  I know this to be true.  I see good looking guys get busted out by hot girls all the time.  Well, we all get busted out all the time. 

I'll just say that my experience with hot girls is that I lose them only when I start to act weird, or if some cooler more dominant guy comes along.  It just seems to me to be true that the looks don't have an effect with these girls.  I won't lose a hot girl to some random guy just because he's taller and better looking.  When guys like that come in thinking it's going to be easy to just get rid of me by showing up or saying something dumb, it's actually easier for me to just blow them out.  Again, I've experienced it for more for an average girl to just get drawn to a guy because of his looks and stay for a bit despite his shitty game. 

This is a good lesson regardless of it's veracity:
In any case, even if I'm deceiving myself, this is a good lesson for tonight.  I might as well go for the hotter girls for the reasons I gave above.  I want the hotter girls anyway, and if I internalize the above, it will help me. 

One could argue that I'm wrong.  One could also say that maybe I act differently with the hotter girls .  In the particular River North set, I was a bit more dominant and teased a bit more than I normally do. 

I'm going to stop now and just be determined to focus my efforts on the hottest girls tonight. 

Friday, August 9, 2013

Too High expectations? Pondering the self doubt

Despite the last post, I still recognize that I'm being a little hard on myself.  Yeah, I made some dumb moves and shot myself in the foot in several sets.  Still, I forced myself to open and more often than not, I made some attempts.  I didn't let the difficulties define my night.

I had fun most of the night and I got some good responses.  I just made several mistakes.  

I was thinking on the ride home that part of the reason I get some frustrated at times is due to the fact that I've come so far from where I started.  As a newbie, it was so much easier to be happy about having one good set or just not getting busted out every set.  Now, it seems like so many sets could have been possibilities if I just didn't make a dumb mistake or if I just didn't hold myself back with success barriers.  

Part of me thinks that's also my ego talking trying to convince myself that I'm better than this than I am.  I tend to err on being too hard on myself though, so I can't put too much into that idea.  

I guess I forgot how hard sarging really is.  When I've gotten on some hot streaks, it seems so easy to get make outs or get close to pulling.  It seemed so effortless when I saw wings doing it as well.  

I sometimes think I have too high expectations.  Every night, when street game has died down, I find myself saying, "How the fuck am I standing here alone?!"  I actually said that out loud to Seagull.  

Realistically, there's only a few guys in  our group that pull regularly.  On top of that, quality has to be factored in as well.  I have to remind myself that even guys that I know that are really good at this have so many doubts at times and we all go home alone far often than would think should be possible.  

I think it again comes back to this gift and problem of being self actualized guys.  The very fact that I talk about how self motivated and fun some of these guys are is also what makes them have the self doubt that holds them back and the success barriers that slow their progress.  

Other than instructors, the guys that we know that pull the most frequently are naturals that don't bother themselves will all this self improvement crap.  They just believe in themselves and many times are blind to their shortcomings and just make things happen.  

These self doubts are stupid too.  I want to shake my wings sometimes when they sit there hesitating and doubting themselves.  Several of these guys objectively have so many things going for them.  Some have pulled so many in the past.  Some are tall or good looking.  One guy is so driven and very alpha and dominant as well.  (I'm just mentioning attributes because I don't want to name specific wings.)  

Pondering this just brings me back to the lessons I thought I learned before.  It makes me realize that we are all human.  It's natural to have these doubts and I just have to decide that when I'm in the field, I have to focus on my strengths and just ignore my faults or aspects of myself that I want to improve.  I should embrace self development and improvement, but the time for analysis is when I'm driving home, writing this blog, or just not out sarging.  No amount of success is going to make this easier.  I just have to decide to believe and not care.  I've had a taste of that attitude several times in the past month, and I thoroughly enjoy when I'm just opening, having fun, trying dance floor moves, and just pushing myself hard.  

I really used to think that I just needed to have more success before that doubt would go away, but it doesn't work like that.  As I've written before, we all have to go through the trenches.  We have to start off a bit awkward at the start of the night.  We have to push ourselves to open girls and be in uncomfortable situations.  We have to decide to act rather than hesitate.  Again, the fact that these guys who have had so much success still sit there doubting themselves shows that it's not the success that's going to solve that but just an internal process and decision to believe and act accordingly.  

Lost momentum, success barriers, self rationalizations

I didn't even want to write this entry but I feel like I have to be accountable.

I need one day to bridge weekends:
I'm starting to see that just going out on the weekends doesn't work for me.  I was back on track Saturday, and then by the time I went out again tonight, I had to push through cobwebs.  I think going out on Tuesday or something would help bridge the gap.

The other option is something I've always talked about but never have been able to follow through on.  I should just practice being social when I go to the gym or store.  My problem is that I just stay quiet when I'm going about my daily business and it's like I live two lives doing this.  I always try to justify it by saying that it takes so much energy to be friendly and outgoing all the time, but I suppose it would be easier if I actually made it a part of my daily routine.

Forcing through the cobwebs:
Fortunately, just a few days off doesn't kill my game.  I just had hard time getting started tonight and I ended up riding Seagull's coattails for the first few sets.  I eventually opened some on my own but I found myself in that familiar zone of hesitating too much.  I really hate when I do that.  I feel so much better when I'm just opening everything and not caring but it so hard to get myself to get in that zone.

Success barriers/Self rationalizations: 
I keep thinking about this girl that I winged with Seagull.  The girl was average looking.  She wasn't fat but she wasn't in shape either.  Regardless, I was somewhat attracted to her physically.  Beyond that, she was saying stuff that really echoed what I usually say in set.  She seriously said she liked looking up at the stars because it makes her feel small and makes her realize she needs to live life because we have such a short time here.  She even said she was going to the Field Museum and Planetarium the next day.

All I had to do was compliment her and then I could have just mentioned that Seagull and I were going to second Fridays and she should stop by.  I could have number closed.  For some reason, I didn't go for it.  Maybe it was because I was a little drunk.   I wasn't sure if I wanted to go for a number close so I didn't go for it.

Next, I knew I had window to move her to the dance floor as our conversation had stalled.  Seagull had moved his girl to the dance floor and I knew I should move mine since there was a lull in the conversation.  I just stood there and then my girl said they were all going to the dance floor.  I could have went with them but I left.

To my credit, I went downstairs to the bathroom.  My plan was to come back up and get back in the set.  I figured Seagull would still be in the set and I didn't want to just stand around.  I even had to tell myself that if I can't do stuff on my own with my wing in the venue, how am I going to go out in Minneapolis alone?

The self rationalization part is that I kept trying to convince myself that this set wasn't cute enough.  That's not true.  I liked her personality and I would have hooked up with her.  Yeah, there were better looking girls that I interacted with that night, but I should have taken the number.

I realized that for a bit, I didn't want to admit myself that I just sabotaged myself.  I also didn't want to admit that I was apprehensive about going back into the set and trying to isolate my girl and dance with her.  I went back in with Seagull several times but I just did a half effort.  I never really tried to isolate her again and get our conversation going nor did I try to actually dance alone with her.

Why didn't I want to go to the after hours:
At the very end of our evening, we were about sick of working street game.  I saw these three girls near us.  Two blondes were working on fixing this girls shoe, and one petite brunette was hovering around.  I heard them speaking Polish so naturally I wanted to talk to them.  My target was really feisty; like the over the top Eastern European strong willed woman type that my buddy Fatty dislikes so much.  These loud motorbikes came by and my target literally flicked them off and was yelling shit at them.

My target was friendly to me.  She seemed comfortable with my kino when I put my arm around her a few times.  The girls even liked my jokes I made.  One of them, I was afraid wouldn't hit off with them.  The blondes were messing around with the shoe for a long time and I said, "Wow, you guys are making me want to make a dumb Polish joke.  How many Polish girls does it take to fix a shoe?"  One of the blondes started giggling and said, "One and a half as I'm only half Polish."

This Irish guy came by.  He was drunk and started talking to the blondes.  My target commented on how cute he was.  That sucked but I could have still went with the set.  The drunk Irish guy put his arms around the blondes as they finally were done with the shoe and they all started walking to the after hours bar.

Now, I had found out earlier that they were going to the after hours bar but I didn't make an effort to tag along.  I can maybe say that was success barriers again and also because we were tired and didn't want to pay the cover.  That's dumb.  I got a Polish girl that I'm really attractive too and she's receptive enough.  I should have gone to the after hours.  I'm really not that tired now and it would be closing about now so I would have made it.

Switching energy levels:
Seagull and I had this weird energy  dynamic going at the end.  During that Polish set, Seagull was just standing there in spectator mode.  I commented later that I could tell he had given up on the night.  His demeanor was the same that I had last Friday when we spotted the lone wolf walking.  I didn't want to open any more, but he pushed himself and almost pulled.

The weird thing was tonight, after I let the Polish set go, I spotted a two set as Seagull and I were already walking our separate ways to our cars.  I pointed out the set as sort of a joke, and he went to go open them and I just stood there in spectator mode.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Street set to venue change: Pushing past your comfort zone

I'm going to be writing about this street set I was in on Saturday night.  It was actually the main event of the evening.  I've been reluctant to write about it probably because I don't like remembering the awkwardness at the end and also because I'm not sure exactly how I could have done better.   I got some ideas from talking with 2j immediately after and I've analyzed the situation several times in my head since then.   

Pushing past your comfort zone:
I wrote about how 2j and I were really pushing ourselves Saturday night.  This is how you learn.  Often, your ego wants to protect itself so you don't want to push things along.  You settle for playing it safe, or taking a small victory by taking a quick phone number or leaving the set.  Using my usual football analogy, you sometimes have to make some deep passes down field.  In sarging, you have to try to kino escalate, or move the girl around, or try a venue change, or try to go along with the group if she's leaving with friends.  Far too often, I've failed to move things along and settled for just trying to see how long I can stand in the same spot talking to the girl.  The later is what you try to do as a newbie, but I've done it far too many times probably as a form of state control and it's hurt my progress.

Continuing with the football analogy, though you can score a touchdown or gain big yardage, you also could get picked off.  You might have been able to get some yardage (maybe you could have gotten a phone number that actually panned into something), but instead you took some chances and screwed up.  

I'll say this, the awkwardness at the end of the set I'm going to describe was really difficult.  It was tough being in unknown territory and having to think up moves on the fly.  I'll say I definitely grew a lot forcing myself to do this.  On top of that, reaching into the unknown was a bit stimulating in retrospect.  It beats during the same old stuff and having regrets.  

Street game:
I told my wings that this evening, we should work some street sets while we worked our way to different venues.  In the past, we only did streets sets at closing time.  I thought back to a good set I had in Wrigley last year and wondered why I wasn't opening more streets sets.  I stopped this 2-set with a slightly overweight Latina girl, and this petite black girl.  My target was the cute black girl, and she was high buying temperature.  2j started talking to the Latina girl, and then I learned that he actually had met her a few years ago.  Later, he tell me that his experience was that she was a bit of a prude.  At the time, I thought they were joking around about having met before, but it turned out to have been the truth.  

I quickly had my arm around my target and she was comfortable with it.  I was in a good state as just prior to that, I had opened a different 2-set and this particular girl was really into me.  She seriously shocked both 2j and I in how she was so set on staying and talking to me.  Her friend was immediately trying to pull her away, but she kept resisting and even said, "No, I want to stay."  My wings tried to disarm the friend, but she was persistent and dragged my target away.  

2j later said he didn't want to come along with the set as he had be out with the Latina girl twice and couldn't get past the make out with her even though he got up to her apartment twice.  He did push me into going along with them and kept telling the girls to let me go with.

Ignore the friend or befriend:
I was torn with what to do with this set.  I don't have much experience venue changing with a 2-set.  I actually had more experience working 2-sets solo in general when I was going out alone but the past 2 years I've gotten too used to have wings around.  Early on, the Latina girl objected, "You're really touchy feely with my friend already!"  I think I screwed up because I dropped my arm from my girl when she said that even though my target was comfortable with it.  

As we were walking to this pizza place they had said they were going to, the Latina girl kept getting farther ahead and I had mini isolation with my girl.  The Latina girl kept stopping and giving us these piercing looks.  I remember saying, "Hey, slow down" and catching up to her.  My thought at the time was that I should engage her to try to disarm her.  I think this was a mistake as once I did that, my target started walking next to her friend and it seems like she lost some buying temperature at that point.  

The Bathroom state break:
The girls wanted to stop at this bar on the way.  As I think about it, maybe part of the problem was I was being lead around by this Latina girl instead of leading the set myself.  They were set on going to this pizza place (turned out to be a grilled cheese place that also serves pizza) so I had to follow them.  I remember 2j saying that sometimes you can just tag along instead of leading the set.  This is a sing of how I need to get into more of these sets so I have some idea of how to calibrate things.   

When we walked in, the Latina girl went to the bathroom and my girl followed.  I knew this was going to be bad.  The Latina girl had made comments about not wanting to let my target be alone with me.  I knew she was going to have a talk with her in the bathroom.  Later, 2j would tell me that if I had a feeling this was going to happen, I could have tried number closing my girl before she went in the bathroom.  The problem is that we literally walked into the bar and the girls immediately went into the bathroom.

Now, I wasn't completely passive here.  I knew that I had to be having fun when they came out, so I made sure to start getting into the music.  The place was doing karaoke, so I was also singing along to the song.  As the girls were in there awhile, and I knew it surely meant they were having a talk, I started to try to look for a random guy to bring into the set so I could distract the Latina girl or hook her up with some guy.  

When they finally came out, the Latina girl headed to the front door right away.  I stopped my girl and introduced her to the random guy by saying, "Hey, I found someone for your friend."

The Latina girl, though, was just standing impatiently by the front door so my girl walked out and I followed them.

We got to the corner of the street and one of the girls said, "Well, we're going to the [name of the grilled cheese place."  In the past, I likely would have just left as it felt awkward to keep following but I knew that just giving up doesn't get you anywhere.  I just crossed the street with them.  

The food place was a few doors down.  When we went in, there was a long line.  I tried to make conversation but neither girl was really responding.  I started to feel really awkward being there but I kept trying to talk.  My girl started playing Ms Pac Man, and I tried to tease her there because she sucked at the game.  I also tried giving her advice on how to play but she wasn't really responding.  

At this point, I wanted to leave but I figured I'd keep trying.  I kept trying to make comment, but then I also started to talk to this cute Irish looking girl that was behind me.  In retrospect, I should have just kept talking to her as she was initially responsive.  

In the end, we got up to the counter.  It seemed obvious the set was over but I kept talking to them.  My girl finally walked away from me and gave me bad vibes when she did so, so I just started to talk to the girl that had been behind me in line.  When she got her food, she went with her friend to go sit down.  If I had been real persistent, I would have tried to sit down with this new 2-set, but at this point, I felt shitty about the awkwardness of the whole situation that I just decided to leave.

I saw the Latina standing by the entrance and started talking to her.  I guess the black girl had gone to the bathroom or something.  I talked to the Latina girl a bit.  She actually was more responsive here.  At this point, I was thinking I should have engaged her more in the beginning.  I was thinking I could stick around till my target returned, but honestly, I had lost confidence and the set felt awkward so I finally just said, "Well, I'm going to the after hours bar.  Cya."   

This just proves how I need to push further along.  I need so much more practice in different situations.  As I said in the beginning, I need to push my comfort zone every time so I can gain later game experience and calibration.  This would have been easier had either of my wings come along.  As much I like going out with 2j, this is one area where he's weak.  You see, Seagull, he'll always try to help wing sets to the end, but 2j will only do it if it's an attractive girl that he really wants.  This was just a bad situation as 2j  knew he wasn't going to get anywhere in this set.  

I should be happy I pushed myself to go with the girls.  There were several sets a few weeks ago that Seagull and I lost because we weren't willing to even ask, "Hey, can I go with you?"  This time I tried to go with the set, and that's progress.  

I should also be happy that even though I was lost and uncomfortable at times, I kept trying to be proactive.  I tried to get a guy to distract the Latina girl.  I tried several strategic moves, so at least I was thinking on my feet, even if the moves turned out not work out.  At the very end, I tried working the other girl in the food place instead of just leaving food place completely.  

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Making the poker table laugh with my creative AMOG lines

This happened awhile ago while I was playing cards.  I was listening to the commercial free Pandora on my phone (free and no commercials until 2014 on Windows mobile phones, and I have truly unlimited grandfathered internet) when suddenly this guy sat down on the other side of the table.  Immediately, I could tell he was one of this alpha guys that like to talk a lot and mess with people at the table.  He started with one guy next to him, and work his way around the table as he played hands against people.  I'll give him some credit.  He actually got one guy off his game and the guy started to dumb money.  On top of that, the guy actually had some real funny lines that got guys reacting to him and qualifying themselves to him.

I ignored him and just listened to the music but I knew that he was gonna eventually get to messing with me.  I got myself mentally prepared for it.  I knew I couldn't just completely ignore it.  I suppose that was one way to do it, but I figured my best move would be to be ready to respond to him.

Sure enough, within about 10-15 minutes, he got around to trying to mess with me.  I don't play many hands so he didn't have any hands to face me, and I really was on the complete opposite side of the table so it took him awhile to work his way to me.

He tries to get my attention:

AMOG:  Hey.  Hey.  (He loudly kept trying to get my attention.  He said a few more things than that.  I don't remember the exact lines, but it was clear to everyone at the table (including me) that he had to be talking to me.  Now, here's where I could have chosen to just ignore him, but my read was this would encourage him.)

I thought of Tyler's explanation of how you would respond to some obnoxious guy in a set or some social group trying to get you to show him the photographs you were showing to someone.  (The post was written back in the day when there weren't digital cameras in everyone's phone, and where guys would do stuff like Mystery's old photo routine.)  The obnoxious AMOG would come up and yell, "Hey, hey!  Show me your pictures."   Tyler said that the right way to respond would be to just wait a few seconds, and then say in a monotone voice "Here you go."

That's what I did here.  I waited for im to try to get my attention for like 10-15 seconds.  It was a few "Hey's" and some line that was descriptive enough to make it clear he was talking about me.  I then looked up slowly away, looked him straight in the eye:

Me: What's up, man?

Worked like a charm.

Other exchanges:
I actually should have written this right after it happens because I had some real zingers and I don't remember all of them.  I was in a great mood as I had a good night sarging prior to this.

I remember him trying to tool me about my haircut:
AMOG: Hey, where did you get your hair cut?

Most guys would lose status here as they would show that they were affected by the guy commenting about their haircut.  I would show in their body language or in their tone of voice if/when they responded.

I'll never forget the first time I successfully landed an AMOG line on a guy coming into my set.  I was so surprised when I saw his body language alter in a way to made it obvious that the line made him feel a little insecure.

After all these years, I finally got to the point where I really don't give a shit AT ALL what this guy thinks of my haircut.  My hair could have been all over the place and I could have needed a haircut and I wouldn't care what this guy thinks.  This is totally opposite to where I used to be years ago.  I used to be massively insecure to the point where I really think I had social anxiety.  I always relate the story of how I used to fear that people where judging me for how I was eating a burger at McDonald's.  Seriously...

I did an old game trick of using a DLV to try to show higher status.  I said, "Super Cuts $5 hair cut."   I actually meant to blurt out Great Clips.  What I said actually made no sense because that place where you watch sports while getting a hair cut (I think It's Super Cuts) actually costs more than $5.  The guy responded, "Oh, right on man.  I like watching the sports too while getting my hair cut."

Tries to make a comment about my phone:
AMOG: (Obnoxiously loud, trying to get my attention) Hey, is that an iphone?  Is that an Iphone?

This time I just ignored him.  A few minutes later, he repeated it again.  I said, "It's a Nokia."
AMOG:  (Obnoxiously again) Does it have bluetooth?
Me: (I wait a few seconds.  Then I respond, in a mostly monotone voice.)  What do you think?

AMOG: (About a minute later.  Obviously, trying to get me to flinch by making referring to the stereotype of Asian guys being tech geek types)  Are you one of those tech guys?
Me: (I didn't respond and just gave him strong eye contact.)  

Closing it out with lines that made the table roll out in laughter:
I'll never forget my last round at the table.  This was like when I had that one engaged girl in Lincoln Park totally loving my lines.  It's what I describe as a moment when I'm just being so create and funny and it's almost surreal.  On top of that, I really don't think the lines are that funny but somehow they make everyone laugh.  I remember walking away from the table and thinking about it on the drive home.

I remember telling myself, "I really don't give myself enough credit.  I can be really creative and witty."  I remember thinking then that I shouldn't be afraid to go into mixed sets while out sarging because of reference experiences like this.  I guess tonight's adventures, in addition to this past experience, will really drive me to push my boundaries in dealing with orbiters or AMOG's.

AMOG: (obnoxiously, of course) Hey!  Hey!  Do you have any gum?  Do you have any gum?  (He literally would repeat shit because I wouldn't respond right away.  According to Tyler's theory, this behavior makes it clear that I'm winning this battle because he's reacting more to me.)

 (He was saying this as it was obvious I was chewing gum as I chew 2-3 pieces and I really move my jaw a lot when I'm chewing gum.  Again, he was trying to get me to react in some way and the only thing that came to his mind was the gum.  Thinking back, it's funny how you can just pick anything and most guys will react and drop their status in relation to you.  In my case, it just wasn't going to work because I know this game too well.

I was especially on top of my game because I was making clever comebacks.  Another way to handle this would be to just ignore a lot or give monotone or breaking rapport responses.  As long as you didn't show any changes in body language that showed you cared what he thought of you, you'd be winning the battle.  The thing is, you don't get the whole table laughing with that method.)

Me:  Yeah.  (This was the first thing that came to mind, and I really was surprised at the response of the people at the table.  I looked up.   I was in a hand, and this guy actually isn't supposed to make comments while a hand is being played as it wasn't a heads up hand.   If I recall correctly, it was a 3-way hand with another guy, the AMOG and me.  We acted in that order as I had position.  I bet after they both checked.  The other guy check raised me.  The AMOG either called or folded.  I had to think for a second but I ended up folding. I remember looking up and making eye contact with the AMOG.  I smiled.)  

Me: (I opened my mouth a bit, in a way that the gum would be visible.  I reached towards my mouth like I was going to grab a piece.)  Do you want some?

(I remember that 1-2 guys groaned in disgust.  Several guys were laughing.  One of the guys next me had initially groaned in disgust and then started laughing.  I really didn't think it was that funny as I was delivering it, but it felt so good to be dominating this AMOG battle and making the entire table roar out in laughter.  I should mention that a happy table is usually a better table than a quiet table.  What I mean is that people usually are looser with their money at a loud, happy table, and tight with their money on a quiet, serious table. )

Closing bit:
I had to go as I was tired and I think I had to get up for something that next day.

Me: (This was like 2 hands after the gum chewing exchange.) Unfortunately, guys, I have to go.  Good night every one.

AMOG:  (takes off his hat and tips it foward) Do you want my hat?

I have to give the guy credit because he actually is pretty good.  It makes no sense, but this works on 95-98% of the guys.  I mean his random lines increase his social status by lowering the social status of most intended targets.  Again, the simple reason is because they react to it and it hits their self esteem.  I didn't really know what to say.  That was my immediate response.  I could have just walked away.  The battle was over and I was leaving anyway.

I really was in the zone as a second later my response came.

Me: You should autograph it.  It might be worth something some day.

The table busted out laughing again.

AMOG:  (It took him a few seconds.  It took him a lot longer for this response than any other of his other comebacks).  Do you have a pen?

I'll close by giving him credit.  I thought it was a good response.  This guy was relentless and somehow I was outwitting him each time.  I wonder how long I could have kept it up.  I've dealt wit ha few other guys at the table before.  Usually, they'll leave me alone after 1-2 clever comebacks because they realize I'm not an easy target.  This guy persisted the most out of any guys I've dealt with in the past, but it just shows how creative and witty I can be, especially when I'm in massive state.