I'm about to go to bed but I wanted to write a brief report on Saturday. I watched about two hours of videos to help me get focused on kino and escalating more. I found this really good video from the 21 Convention series that explained thing really well. I also went back to the old RSD Transformations and Ozzie's stuff about "running the train."
I went out with no cheat codes. The momentum from the past 3 days meant I didn't have any problems getting started.
I can tell I need more practice as I was awkward at times. I did kino more. I pulled one girl onto the dance floor. Another, I opened by the dance floor, and then I moved her to the bar and was trying to set up a kiss close.
I was frustrated at the end that I didn't make anything solid happen, but I realized that if I had been doing this much even just the three days prior, I might actually have gotten laid.
I even had a decent set going with this 6'3" swimmer girl.
It's going to be a hectic next few weeks. I ran into an old wing/promoter friend who I'm calling "Disney" now. That was on Friday. I found out that he now has a place in MN and he works there during the week. Coincidentally, I already had planned to go up there this upcoming week to pick up 12 cases of beer that I won from a brat contest. Now, I'm going up a day earlier (leaving in like 10 hours) so I can sarge with him. Then, I'm doing a pizza challenge with this eater I know up there, and then I'll go sarge again.
It's interesting how I now have 4 friends up in Minneapolis and another one I met through competitive eating is moving up there next summer.
Last week and these MN outings need to prepare me for solo sarging in Cleveland this weekend. Then, I'll be in FL and will really need to solo sarge.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Saturday, October 18, 2014
An escalation away
I had some amazing sets after the college that probably should have been more and could have been lays but somehow I couldn't integrate my birthday lesson. As recently as two days ago, I failed to escalate. It's really fucking frustrating that I could be stuck at this point again.
Today, I really did step up a lot more than I have been. I feel like I'm so close. It also helped that I saw Crazyfoot open a girl, make out with her quickly, and then pull her out of the bar. I'm almost certain he got laid. Seeing that in person again made me realize again that what I want to happen isn't really that hard.
I can tell I'm close and hopefully I'll remember tonight's lessons and really have a good night on Saturday. I felt compelled to write so that maybe that would help me internalize the lessons.
I can say that I'm so much more confident that I used to be. I feel like my game is coming together but again, I'm just lacking this newbie escalation problem. I fixed it in the past, and I know I'll fix it soon. This time I might really start to live the PUA lifestyle that I always sought. I say this because this time, so many aspects of my game have improved.
I've been opening confidently and I'm not being as intimidated by some of the girls that I would have been in the past. It still happens occasionally, but I've been calming talking to tall girls and girls that are totally my type.
I don't claim to be close to figuring out "the game" yet. There's so much to learn. I think if I get this escalation problem fixed, I'll have much more opportunities to get to late/end game. I'll also get lays just because I'll be getting to late game more often, even though I'll inevitably screw up there.
Today, I really did step up a lot more than I have been. I feel like I'm so close. It also helped that I saw Crazyfoot open a girl, make out with her quickly, and then pull her out of the bar. I'm almost certain he got laid. Seeing that in person again made me realize again that what I want to happen isn't really that hard.
I can tell I'm close and hopefully I'll remember tonight's lessons and really have a good night on Saturday. I felt compelled to write so that maybe that would help me internalize the lessons.
I can say that I'm so much more confident that I used to be. I feel like my game is coming together but again, I'm just lacking this newbie escalation problem. I fixed it in the past, and I know I'll fix it soon. This time I might really start to live the PUA lifestyle that I always sought. I say this because this time, so many aspects of my game have improved.
I've been opening confidently and I'm not being as intimidated by some of the girls that I would have been in the past. It still happens occasionally, but I've been calming talking to tall girls and girls that are totally my type.
I don't claim to be close to figuring out "the game" yet. There's so much to learn. I think if I get this escalation problem fixed, I'll have much more opportunities to get to late/end game. I'll also get lays just because I'll be getting to late game more often, even though I'll inevitably screw up there.
Hitting up colleges in Sept and feeling young
I haven't been posting much obviously. I didn't go out that often this summer as competitive eating filled up my life. Now that the season has died down a bit, I've been able to go out more: tonight was the third day I went out in a row. I went on two road trips with Seagull in September where I hit some eating contests and then we hit the several college towns. We hit up University of Delaware, University of Connecticut, Penn State, and Michigan State. I think we'd both agree that Delaware had the a ridiculous amount of hot girls walking around there. The hottest girl I saw out of those 4 schools was in a bar at U Conn: a really tall, amazing blonde.
I felt young again at Delaware:
That night out with Seagull was a good way to get back into the game. Again, I hadn't been out much and despite being tired from the long drive and knowing I had to get up early for a mushroom contest the next day, we still went out. I remember tapping on this girl on the dance floor. She looked over and just decided to start grinding her ass on my crotch. That felt good and I had to giggle about how I can still get college girls at my age. I tried to escalate that interaction more and so did Seagull with his girl from that set, but we couldn't make anything more happen. I thought it was weird though that this girl is grinding her ass on my hard on and then having a conversation with her friend at the same time.
The bars closed early there (1am). Seagull was working some set and I was stuck outside. I was glad to get to the car and drink a ton of bottled waters. The bar was so hot that my shirt was completely soaked with sweat. I was a bit self conscious about that but of course it didn't matter. Seagull opened this set in front of a pizza place and I started talking to this petite 18 year old coed. Seagull thought she was too thin, but I remembered she was really cute and we were having an amazingly deep conversation. The friends eventually did have to leave.
This is where I was a dumb ass because I was out of practice. I didn't even try to go with them. I remember her saying she had to go and we held eye contact and then I just let her walk off. If I just asked if I could go with, I'm almost certain she would have agreed. Now, I probably wouldn't have gotten laid because I was out of practice, but the opportunity was there.
You're so hot:
There were some other interesting stories from when we went out at UConn and Penn State but I don't want to write it all out. That weekend worked out well in the food contest department and I had a quick break into sarging. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go out regularly after that.
A few weeks later, we went to the Detroit area for a food contest. We stopped Michigan State on the way home in East Lansing. I celebrated my birthday at midnight in some bar there. I went with the cheat codes and was feeling out of state for most of the night.
We left the venue before closing time and starting doing street sets. Getting those quick and successive rejections really gets me into a good state, amazingly enough. One would doesn't sarge would think I'd lose state and feel down from all the rejection but it has the opposite effect. Tyler would say I built momentum from the constant opening.
I remember seeing this blonde walking toward me and I just decided I was going to open her confidently. She surprised me by making eye contact and then stopping. I had a few other sets stop but this could have been a birthday lay with just a little more persistence.
I was having escalation problems and even after this, I've been having problems. This was always a big sticking point and every time I've fixed it, I started to get make outs and lays, like one would think I should be getting. This set was a breakthrough set because I just manned up and pulled her close to me.
I remember Tyler talking about how sometimes girls would tell him how hot he was even though he admits he's not good looking. This girl was saying ridiculous stuff to me in the same way. First, when she found out how old I was, she was telling me about how her roommate was supposedly banging some older guy and she seriously said she was kind of jealous because she wanted to be with an older guy. Later on, she kept telling me how hot I was.
I'm decent looking but I realize that it was my confidence and all the other stuff I was doing right that made her say these things. I also realized it was what Tyler said about how drunk girls will sometimes say stuff like this out loud. Other girls think this but don't say it.
"You're single tonight."
I was actually trying to be persistent in creating reasons to go to her place. Later, I tried to go for the kiss and she pulled back. She told me she had a boyfriend. This wasn't the blow off line as she was clearly attracted, but she seriously had boyfriend and started to feel guilty about it.
I remember her saying, "I can't kiss you. You're hot but I have a boyfriend. You'll have no problem finding another girl tonight."
I let go of her hand and she was about to walk away and then I said, "Hey, you're single tonight."
I'll always remember my surprise when she turned back after I said that. She had thought about what I said and wanted to go along with it.
Then I fucked up and didn't persist shortly after that. Seagull had a good point that I could have just said that I'd walk her home. That's the old "baby steps" technique. The next step was to walk her home and I could work on getting invited in at that point. Instead I kept thinking how insurmountable it seemed to be to get up to her place and have sex that I just gave up. Dumb.
I felt alive again:
Yes, I screwed up, but I'll forever remember this birthday night. It could have been more memorable with a birthday lay and it was possible that night. Still, I have to feel good that this college girl was so close to cheating on that boyfriend and hooking up with me. I just lacked the experience in late game maneuvering.
I'll remember the night because I stepped up. I actually escalated and manned up. I got reminded of how it feels to bring the girl close and have us gaze into each others eyes. I felt the sexual tension that build up between us and I can't believe I went so long without feeling that.
I thought I'd have no problem escalating the next time I went out, but the 10 day gap after that meant the lesson didn't fully stick.
I felt young again at Delaware:
That night out with Seagull was a good way to get back into the game. Again, I hadn't been out much and despite being tired from the long drive and knowing I had to get up early for a mushroom contest the next day, we still went out. I remember tapping on this girl on the dance floor. She looked over and just decided to start grinding her ass on my crotch. That felt good and I had to giggle about how I can still get college girls at my age. I tried to escalate that interaction more and so did Seagull with his girl from that set, but we couldn't make anything more happen. I thought it was weird though that this girl is grinding her ass on my hard on and then having a conversation with her friend at the same time.
The bars closed early there (1am). Seagull was working some set and I was stuck outside. I was glad to get to the car and drink a ton of bottled waters. The bar was so hot that my shirt was completely soaked with sweat. I was a bit self conscious about that but of course it didn't matter. Seagull opened this set in front of a pizza place and I started talking to this petite 18 year old coed. Seagull thought she was too thin, but I remembered she was really cute and we were having an amazingly deep conversation. The friends eventually did have to leave.
This is where I was a dumb ass because I was out of practice. I didn't even try to go with them. I remember her saying she had to go and we held eye contact and then I just let her walk off. If I just asked if I could go with, I'm almost certain she would have agreed. Now, I probably wouldn't have gotten laid because I was out of practice, but the opportunity was there.
You're so hot:
There were some other interesting stories from when we went out at UConn and Penn State but I don't want to write it all out. That weekend worked out well in the food contest department and I had a quick break into sarging. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go out regularly after that.
A few weeks later, we went to the Detroit area for a food contest. We stopped Michigan State on the way home in East Lansing. I celebrated my birthday at midnight in some bar there. I went with the cheat codes and was feeling out of state for most of the night.
We left the venue before closing time and starting doing street sets. Getting those quick and successive rejections really gets me into a good state, amazingly enough. One would doesn't sarge would think I'd lose state and feel down from all the rejection but it has the opposite effect. Tyler would say I built momentum from the constant opening.
I remember seeing this blonde walking toward me and I just decided I was going to open her confidently. She surprised me by making eye contact and then stopping. I had a few other sets stop but this could have been a birthday lay with just a little more persistence.
I was having escalation problems and even after this, I've been having problems. This was always a big sticking point and every time I've fixed it, I started to get make outs and lays, like one would think I should be getting. This set was a breakthrough set because I just manned up and pulled her close to me.
I remember Tyler talking about how sometimes girls would tell him how hot he was even though he admits he's not good looking. This girl was saying ridiculous stuff to me in the same way. First, when she found out how old I was, she was telling me about how her roommate was supposedly banging some older guy and she seriously said she was kind of jealous because she wanted to be with an older guy. Later on, she kept telling me how hot I was.
I'm decent looking but I realize that it was my confidence and all the other stuff I was doing right that made her say these things. I also realized it was what Tyler said about how drunk girls will sometimes say stuff like this out loud. Other girls think this but don't say it.
"You're single tonight."
I was actually trying to be persistent in creating reasons to go to her place. Later, I tried to go for the kiss and she pulled back. She told me she had a boyfriend. This wasn't the blow off line as she was clearly attracted, but she seriously had boyfriend and started to feel guilty about it.
I remember her saying, "I can't kiss you. You're hot but I have a boyfriend. You'll have no problem finding another girl tonight."
I let go of her hand and she was about to walk away and then I said, "Hey, you're single tonight."
I'll always remember my surprise when she turned back after I said that. She had thought about what I said and wanted to go along with it.
Then I fucked up and didn't persist shortly after that. Seagull had a good point that I could have just said that I'd walk her home. That's the old "baby steps" technique. The next step was to walk her home and I could work on getting invited in at that point. Instead I kept thinking how insurmountable it seemed to be to get up to her place and have sex that I just gave up. Dumb.
I felt alive again:
Yes, I screwed up, but I'll forever remember this birthday night. It could have been more memorable with a birthday lay and it was possible that night. Still, I have to feel good that this college girl was so close to cheating on that boyfriend and hooking up with me. I just lacked the experience in late game maneuvering.
I'll remember the night because I stepped up. I actually escalated and manned up. I got reminded of how it feels to bring the girl close and have us gaze into each others eyes. I felt the sexual tension that build up between us and I can't believe I went so long without feeling that.
I thought I'd have no problem escalating the next time I went out, but the 10 day gap after that meant the lesson didn't fully stick.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Finally feel like my powers are back
As I mentioned in my last post, I've gone out sporadically. Over the past few weeks, I managed to make myself open more. That was a big step, but once I got comfortable with that, I then faced my ever present sticking point of making the interaction go somewhere beyond the friend to friend conversation.
Short update of past few months:
I had an awakening a few weeks ago when I was out with Seagull. I remember we opened this 2-set on he street in Wrigley. I decided to tease this girl about being a hipster and then I made an effort to try kino her. I remember I did the old trick of complimenting her on something and then saying I wanted to hug her. I was surprised how enthusiastically she wanted to hug me. I knew it was on then and I set up a venue change to Barleycorn. Unfortunately, the friend didn't like Seagull. I can't blame him as I've been on the other side of that far too many times. I didn't even try for the number close or try to stay with my girl. In any case, it was a huge breakthrough to get me to actually create attraction and touch.
I had that lesson in my mind but I still was struggling. I had another breakthrough last week when I was up in Minnesota for some contest. I met up with Vortexx, which is a guy I know from World of Warcraft. Fatty McGee was surprised I was actually able to sarge with someone I met from the game. I replied that Vortexx was probably equally surprised that I was from WoW and outgoing. I felt good being from out of town and having placed in this eating contest so I was opening like crazy.
I could have pulled this drunk girl, but it didn't feel right. If I didn't have another contest the next day, I might have just taken her to a diner or something and let her sober up but I didn't have that kind of time. When I say drunk, I mean she was really incoherent. I actually left when I noticed this, but she grabbed my hand and said, "Help me find my friends." I walked around with her again and she was pointing at random people and saying, "Are these my friends?" She wandered off and I just gave up on that.
The other interesting thing that happened is that these two girls got super excited when they learned about my competitive eating hobby. They asked if I had twitter, and I should have given them my facebook but I don't really promote myself like other eaters do.
Speaking of that, after a contest the next day, two sets of girls approached me after I won this contest and started talking to me. I laugh that before learning pickup, I thought I had to lose weight and be super lean/ripped, and it turns out the way I get the most attention is by binge eating like a champion!
Just a few hours ago, these two others girls got really excited when competitive eating came up again and they wanted to take a picture with me like the other girls in MN did. This is after I explained that I'm not as good as the big name people and I'm just better or of similar skill to the mid tier eaters.
My best chance for a 5 minutes lay:
It hurts me to write this story. I know if what happened to me tonight happened to any of my wings that were out today, they would have pulled and had a 5 minutes lay. It's seriously unbelievable how I manage to screw up sure things and keep up my dry spell.
I was upstairs at Barleycorn in River North. Jason Derula actually performed there briefly later on in the night. That kind of messed up pickup when he was performing. I took a pic of him on stage but I wasn't that excited about being in the same room as him. It was just like when Nelly was at Social 21. The only celebrities I'd like to meet are hot models/hot actresses to see what they look like in real life. I also would like to meet certain world leaders I suppose, but other than that I don't really care.
Before the performance, I was standing by one of my wings. I noticed this blond playing with her phone. She looked like she was about to have a panic attack or something. Just as I was about to approach her, she actually approached me. She looked upset and she said, "Hi. Do you know where the exit is?"
Me: Are you okay? You look like you are about to have a panic attack or something.
HB: Where is the exit? (She was really flustered at this point).
Me: I don't work here, but here's the exit.
I walked her over to the stairs. She thanked me and then looked down. I think I put her arm around her and I remember she enthusiastically nestled into me. She was all over me as I was walking her down the stairs.
I actually thought she was plastered or on something at this point, but later I realized she wasn't as drunk as I thought she was.
We got downstairs and she thanked me. I started to make small talk.
I remember her telling me something like, "There was this guy her who just didn't like me."
Thinking back, it sounded like she had a date that went badly, or she just got dumped or something. The later would explain why she was looking to validate herself by hooking up with me so quickly. The whole situation was happening so fast that I couldn't think clearly.
I remember her kissing me hand at one point. I remember gazing into her eyes as I had my hands on her hips and her telling me again that basically some guy blew her off.
One of my wings would ask me if I made out with her. Clearly, that was the move. I know if I just went to kiss her, it would have been totally on and I could have just pulled and gotten laid.
Chump:
Just as quickly as it had started, it fizzled out. She left and then went outside. I was at least smart enough to make myself go try again. I saw her in front trying to catch a cab. I told her she was going to get hit by a car as she was standing in the street. She said, "I'm okay." She was cold to me now and I realized why just shortly after she got into a cab and left. She wasn't totally plastered like I thought initially. She was having a bad day and might have been about to have a panic attack. I probably recognized the look from when I opened this girl during this Cinco de Mayo pub crawl a few years ago. I SNL pulled that girl and she told me she was about to have a panic attack on this pub crawl bus and when I opened her, I helped calm her down.
This girl tonight felt so comfortable after I brought her out of that panic state. When I put my arm on her, she felt better. She felt wanted after being spurned by that other guy. She wanted to get laid and was making it about as obvious as a girl is going to get. Most girls wouldn't have been even that forward. I mean, when I put my arm around her, she snuggled into me. She kissed my hand. She was gazing into my eyes and basically telling me that she just got rejected/dumped.
Initially she felt I was this awesome, confident guy that was going to redeem her day and that I just turned into a clueless chump. I think Tyler has likened it to if as a guy, you were talking to some supermodel and she all of a sudden ballooned into a giant warpig. I turned into a chump after she had made a big effort to make it obvious she wanted to go home with me.
My wing later said that when she opened me, he could tell she wanted to fuck me.
Wow, do I manage to screw up in some massive ways...
Cockblocked by the friends:
I lamented about that screw up but I wasn't about to give up. I opened some more later on but nothing of note happened. Well, I was thinking about opening this girl by a light pole that Asian Cousin ended up opening. She had massively high buying temperature. I learned that when I came back to wing him when I saw there were two girls by him. I thought his target was this French girl and the girl I was talking to was so touchy and again, of obvious high buying temp. Asian Cousin then switched b/c that was he target and I talked to this attractive French girl. They wanted to go back into Paris Club and the door waned to charge us $40 to get in even though there was only 30 minutes left. Screw that. On top of that, his target was the high buying temp girl.
I actually hit a state crash but ran into 2j and Crazyfoot. It seems like all of our old crew was out this evening. I ended opening this thin girl who was slightly taller than me. She was from Detroit and I had her into me enough that she was about to walk to this other venue with me. Her friends kept texting her. The first time, she couldn't find them and then we were just a half block from the other venue when they called her.
I screwed up as I knew if we went back to the friends, I was going to lose this. I think of an old free tour where Brad talked about taking the phone away from the girl or having her put it away. I think about a Manwhore story where he dodged this bachelorette party from cockblocking him by taking a girl out another exit at a casino in Vegas. I thought I could smooth talk the friends and was hoping for a wing to help me.
Instead, I got massively cockblocked. I tried talking to the friends and they were like, "Thank you for bring her to us" and then they walked off with her.
FUCK!
I could just tell if I got her to the venue, this was going to be on. I could really work my verbal magic and escalate. She was from out of town so would be in the party mindset. Nothing is certain (except for that 5 min lay opportunity maybe), but I think the odds were good her.
Feeling like my powers were back:
That's what I kept thinking on my drive home. I build some massive momentum from going out 3 days in a row and I build up from the past few weeks. What was big today was that I was completely sober. Things were easier with the "cheat codes" (that's what I call drinking) Thursday, and especially Friday. That I did things sober taught me that I'm finally getting myself in the right mind set. (On another note, I think I am ready for some day game now that I had a good night and create the good night sober).
One big lesson from Friday was that I gave it the full effort I was capable of at the time. I ended up with nothing but it made me realize two things. First, it felt good to be opening on the dance floor and just opening more often than not. In the end, nothing happened and I wasn't really close to getting laid. The thing I realized is that this is hard: I can give it my all and not wind up with a girl. Just imagine then, when I'm spending the entire night doubting myself and not opening. I have no chance then so I might as well give it my best effort. Again, it feels better to give my best effort and that's the only way to increase my odds. I've got almost no chance when I'm giving low effort.
A lot of pickup at this point is just giving myself permission to be that cool guy I'm capable of being. It's giving myself permission to keep opening random hot girls on the street or in the venue. It's risking the bad reactions and the instant blowouts because I know that will give me the momentum to get in a good, confident mood. It's knowing that giving my best effort will yield results with if I just go out consistently.
This is a breakthrough night in that I actually made myself take all this time to type this up for myself. I got a taste of how it was last summer. I had a chance to get laid really quickly that I messed up, but I'm sure it will happen again. More likely, I'll go out more and have a lot of fun and create many promising opportunities. I don't have to keep thinking about how I wish I were back to last summer.
I'm close to having the powers I had back then and it's time to create some new adventures and blow past my last peak game point.
This time I'll get laid more...
Short update of past few months:
I had an awakening a few weeks ago when I was out with Seagull. I remember we opened this 2-set on he street in Wrigley. I decided to tease this girl about being a hipster and then I made an effort to try kino her. I remember I did the old trick of complimenting her on something and then saying I wanted to hug her. I was surprised how enthusiastically she wanted to hug me. I knew it was on then and I set up a venue change to Barleycorn. Unfortunately, the friend didn't like Seagull. I can't blame him as I've been on the other side of that far too many times. I didn't even try for the number close or try to stay with my girl. In any case, it was a huge breakthrough to get me to actually create attraction and touch.
I had that lesson in my mind but I still was struggling. I had another breakthrough last week when I was up in Minnesota for some contest. I met up with Vortexx, which is a guy I know from World of Warcraft. Fatty McGee was surprised I was actually able to sarge with someone I met from the game. I replied that Vortexx was probably equally surprised that I was from WoW and outgoing. I felt good being from out of town and having placed in this eating contest so I was opening like crazy.
I could have pulled this drunk girl, but it didn't feel right. If I didn't have another contest the next day, I might have just taken her to a diner or something and let her sober up but I didn't have that kind of time. When I say drunk, I mean she was really incoherent. I actually left when I noticed this, but she grabbed my hand and said, "Help me find my friends." I walked around with her again and she was pointing at random people and saying, "Are these my friends?" She wandered off and I just gave up on that.
The other interesting thing that happened is that these two girls got super excited when they learned about my competitive eating hobby. They asked if I had twitter, and I should have given them my facebook but I don't really promote myself like other eaters do.
Speaking of that, after a contest the next day, two sets of girls approached me after I won this contest and started talking to me. I laugh that before learning pickup, I thought I had to lose weight and be super lean/ripped, and it turns out the way I get the most attention is by binge eating like a champion!
Just a few hours ago, these two others girls got really excited when competitive eating came up again and they wanted to take a picture with me like the other girls in MN did. This is after I explained that I'm not as good as the big name people and I'm just better or of similar skill to the mid tier eaters.
My best chance for a 5 minutes lay:
It hurts me to write this story. I know if what happened to me tonight happened to any of my wings that were out today, they would have pulled and had a 5 minutes lay. It's seriously unbelievable how I manage to screw up sure things and keep up my dry spell.
I was upstairs at Barleycorn in River North. Jason Derula actually performed there briefly later on in the night. That kind of messed up pickup when he was performing. I took a pic of him on stage but I wasn't that excited about being in the same room as him. It was just like when Nelly was at Social 21. The only celebrities I'd like to meet are hot models/hot actresses to see what they look like in real life. I also would like to meet certain world leaders I suppose, but other than that I don't really care.
Before the performance, I was standing by one of my wings. I noticed this blond playing with her phone. She looked like she was about to have a panic attack or something. Just as I was about to approach her, she actually approached me. She looked upset and she said, "Hi. Do you know where the exit is?"
Me: Are you okay? You look like you are about to have a panic attack or something.
HB: Where is the exit? (She was really flustered at this point).
Me: I don't work here, but here's the exit.
I walked her over to the stairs. She thanked me and then looked down. I think I put her arm around her and I remember she enthusiastically nestled into me. She was all over me as I was walking her down the stairs.
I actually thought she was plastered or on something at this point, but later I realized she wasn't as drunk as I thought she was.
We got downstairs and she thanked me. I started to make small talk.
I remember her telling me something like, "There was this guy her who just didn't like me."
Thinking back, it sounded like she had a date that went badly, or she just got dumped or something. The later would explain why she was looking to validate herself by hooking up with me so quickly. The whole situation was happening so fast that I couldn't think clearly.
I remember her kissing me hand at one point. I remember gazing into her eyes as I had my hands on her hips and her telling me again that basically some guy blew her off.
One of my wings would ask me if I made out with her. Clearly, that was the move. I know if I just went to kiss her, it would have been totally on and I could have just pulled and gotten laid.
Chump:
Just as quickly as it had started, it fizzled out. She left and then went outside. I was at least smart enough to make myself go try again. I saw her in front trying to catch a cab. I told her she was going to get hit by a car as she was standing in the street. She said, "I'm okay." She was cold to me now and I realized why just shortly after she got into a cab and left. She wasn't totally plastered like I thought initially. She was having a bad day and might have been about to have a panic attack. I probably recognized the look from when I opened this girl during this Cinco de Mayo pub crawl a few years ago. I SNL pulled that girl and she told me she was about to have a panic attack on this pub crawl bus and when I opened her, I helped calm her down.
This girl tonight felt so comfortable after I brought her out of that panic state. When I put my arm on her, she felt better. She felt wanted after being spurned by that other guy. She wanted to get laid and was making it about as obvious as a girl is going to get. Most girls wouldn't have been even that forward. I mean, when I put my arm around her, she snuggled into me. She kissed my hand. She was gazing into my eyes and basically telling me that she just got rejected/dumped.
Initially she felt I was this awesome, confident guy that was going to redeem her day and that I just turned into a clueless chump. I think Tyler has likened it to if as a guy, you were talking to some supermodel and she all of a sudden ballooned into a giant warpig. I turned into a chump after she had made a big effort to make it obvious she wanted to go home with me.
My wing later said that when she opened me, he could tell she wanted to fuck me.
Wow, do I manage to screw up in some massive ways...
Cockblocked by the friends:
I lamented about that screw up but I wasn't about to give up. I opened some more later on but nothing of note happened. Well, I was thinking about opening this girl by a light pole that Asian Cousin ended up opening. She had massively high buying temperature. I learned that when I came back to wing him when I saw there were two girls by him. I thought his target was this French girl and the girl I was talking to was so touchy and again, of obvious high buying temp. Asian Cousin then switched b/c that was he target and I talked to this attractive French girl. They wanted to go back into Paris Club and the door waned to charge us $40 to get in even though there was only 30 minutes left. Screw that. On top of that, his target was the high buying temp girl.
I actually hit a state crash but ran into 2j and Crazyfoot. It seems like all of our old crew was out this evening. I ended opening this thin girl who was slightly taller than me. She was from Detroit and I had her into me enough that she was about to walk to this other venue with me. Her friends kept texting her. The first time, she couldn't find them and then we were just a half block from the other venue when they called her.
I screwed up as I knew if we went back to the friends, I was going to lose this. I think of an old free tour where Brad talked about taking the phone away from the girl or having her put it away. I think about a Manwhore story where he dodged this bachelorette party from cockblocking him by taking a girl out another exit at a casino in Vegas. I thought I could smooth talk the friends and was hoping for a wing to help me.
Instead, I got massively cockblocked. I tried talking to the friends and they were like, "Thank you for bring her to us" and then they walked off with her.
FUCK!
I could just tell if I got her to the venue, this was going to be on. I could really work my verbal magic and escalate. She was from out of town so would be in the party mindset. Nothing is certain (except for that 5 min lay opportunity maybe), but I think the odds were good her.
Feeling like my powers were back:
That's what I kept thinking on my drive home. I build some massive momentum from going out 3 days in a row and I build up from the past few weeks. What was big today was that I was completely sober. Things were easier with the "cheat codes" (that's what I call drinking) Thursday, and especially Friday. That I did things sober taught me that I'm finally getting myself in the right mind set. (On another note, I think I am ready for some day game now that I had a good night and create the good night sober).
One big lesson from Friday was that I gave it the full effort I was capable of at the time. I ended up with nothing but it made me realize two things. First, it felt good to be opening on the dance floor and just opening more often than not. In the end, nothing happened and I wasn't really close to getting laid. The thing I realized is that this is hard: I can give it my all and not wind up with a girl. Just imagine then, when I'm spending the entire night doubting myself and not opening. I have no chance then so I might as well give it my best effort. Again, it feels better to give my best effort and that's the only way to increase my odds. I've got almost no chance when I'm giving low effort.
A lot of pickup at this point is just giving myself permission to be that cool guy I'm capable of being. It's giving myself permission to keep opening random hot girls on the street or in the venue. It's risking the bad reactions and the instant blowouts because I know that will give me the momentum to get in a good, confident mood. It's knowing that giving my best effort will yield results with if I just go out consistently.
This is a breakthrough night in that I actually made myself take all this time to type this up for myself. I got a taste of how it was last summer. I had a chance to get laid really quickly that I messed up, but I'm sure it will happen again. More likely, I'll go out more and have a lot of fun and create many promising opportunities. I don't have to keep thinking about how I wish I were back to last summer.
I'm close to having the powers I had back then and it's time to create some new adventures and blow past my last peak game point.
This time I'll get laid more...
March Update: Didn't get laid b/c their literally was too much stuff in the car
I kept saying I was going to update this. I took a long break after my last post. I went out a few times in March and then took more time off. I had some adventures out of state and with Seagull that helped get me on track. There actually were some fun times. Even with my shitty skills (compared to where I was last summer) I had some opportunities to get laid that I messed up on. That was frustrating but also inspiring, on one level, as it meant that even with shaky confidence and rusty game, I still could be attractive.
Comical how I managed to avoid getting laid:
There was a comical incident with Asian Cousin in March. I wasn't really doing much. I opened a few times (I'm talking like 3-4 maximum which is what I would do as a newbie). Asian Cousin was in massive state and was just trying nonstop. At the very end of the night, he opened these chubby girls and he shoved me into the back seat of a cab with them. Then he and this other wing were trying to figure out who was going to hop in the front. Asian Cousin finally just pushed the other wing back, closed the door and the cab drove off.
The girls had the cab drive them to a parking garage where their car was parked. The girls tried to ask us to pitch in for the cab and we both looked at each other and said "We don't have any money." One girl was frustrated and said, "It figures" and then paid for it.
I actually learned a good lesson from this set and I'm glad I'm taking the time to write about it now as it will help ingrain this lesson. For a second, I felt awkward walking with them and in the past I could see myself just slowing down and letting them walk ahead. Instead, I just walked with them telling myself to just act as it it were natural to go with them to the car. They didn't object and just went with it.
I thought we were actually going to pull this set. In the cab, and as we were walking, one girl said several times that there was no room for us in the car. I thought they were just throwing out token resistance so I just ignored it. Asian Cousin later said he thought the same thing.
When we got to their vehicle, we saw they were telling the truth. They had this SUV, and they must have been getting ready to remodel as the back seat and hatch area was completely filled with shit. We literally could not fit in there even if I tried to lay on top of the stuff.
We just said good bye and walked away. As we did this, I realized we could have tried to figure out something else. I was in a really bad state, though, and I couldn't do it and Asian PUA didn't think to do anything either. It was too late when I spoke up and said we messed this up and should have figured out a way to go home with them.
Comical how I managed to avoid getting laid:
There was a comical incident with Asian Cousin in March. I wasn't really doing much. I opened a few times (I'm talking like 3-4 maximum which is what I would do as a newbie). Asian Cousin was in massive state and was just trying nonstop. At the very end of the night, he opened these chubby girls and he shoved me into the back seat of a cab with them. Then he and this other wing were trying to figure out who was going to hop in the front. Asian Cousin finally just pushed the other wing back, closed the door and the cab drove off.
The girls had the cab drive them to a parking garage where their car was parked. The girls tried to ask us to pitch in for the cab and we both looked at each other and said "We don't have any money." One girl was frustrated and said, "It figures" and then paid for it.
I actually learned a good lesson from this set and I'm glad I'm taking the time to write about it now as it will help ingrain this lesson. For a second, I felt awkward walking with them and in the past I could see myself just slowing down and letting them walk ahead. Instead, I just walked with them telling myself to just act as it it were natural to go with them to the car. They didn't object and just went with it.
I thought we were actually going to pull this set. In the cab, and as we were walking, one girl said several times that there was no room for us in the car. I thought they were just throwing out token resistance so I just ignored it. Asian Cousin later said he thought the same thing.
When we got to their vehicle, we saw they were telling the truth. They had this SUV, and they must have been getting ready to remodel as the back seat and hatch area was completely filled with shit. We literally could not fit in there even if I tried to lay on top of the stuff.
We just said good bye and walked away. As we did this, I realized we could have tried to figure out something else. I was in a really bad state, though, and I couldn't do it and Asian PUA didn't think to do anything either. It was too late when I spoke up and said we messed this up and should have figured out a way to go home with them.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Notes and lessons for myself from RSD Jan 2 Free Tour with Tyler
I braved the cold and snowfall to make the RSD Free Tour with Tyler from RSD. This was an example of how much free stuff RSD puts out. Tyler usually speaks on random, usually advanced topics that come to his mind concerning pickup. This time, he said he wanted to use notes to specially create a long talk of newbie material. This is the type of thing they used to charge for: this is like an updated version of their old "Foundations" CD products from years ago. The Free Tour usually goes for about 2 hours, but this one went for 5 hours.
Since I've been into the game for so long, I didn't need a lot of it, and like Andydufresne (who I ran into there), I started to get bored. As a newbie, that stuff would have been golden. Still, it's good to go through fundamentals. Later on, there was good stuff there for advanced guys. There were also some good parts that good me thinking about my own sticking points.
I wanted to make a post about it so I'd remember some of the important concepts. Other than the 3-some advice, this is stuff I've already heard, or stuff I know I need to work on, and have been working on. The talk, I think will help me to learn the lesson even better.
Find confidence in taking action and being on your path:
This is the inner game stuff I've been working on for the past few months. I know I need to just find the confidence from within. He talked about how you can't rely on being jacked to be confident as their is always going to be someone bigger. If you try to rely on making money, there will always be some one richer. You have to be confident in yourself for taking action towards your goals and persisting in your efforts. You should be happy with the progress you make in life.
I've mentioned that working out has been helpful to me in this area. Diet and exercise has been the only thing I've stuck with consistently the past few months. The half marathon was such an inspiring experience because I got to see that training and suffering from the summer actually translate into running a good race and finding inner strength to run all out for the last two miles. If I can just be consistent with pickup and my other pursuits, I will see the payoff there as well.
Also, I should be confident in that I can stick with my goals. I don't give myself enough credit and I think too much about what I still need to achieve and/or my past failures. I need to be confident because I have stuck with my weight loss and running for the most part. Most people can't do it. I have to think of all my other good qualities and be happy with them.
Girls are attracted to decisive guys/Not guys who put the ball in their court:
Again, it's not new stuff, but the talk got me thinking again and determined to do things properly. When I fail with the hot girls or just girls in general, it's because I show that little bit of hesitation or I just don't lead. Girls are hard wired to respond to leaders and guys who take action. That hot girls won't like me if I go up intimidated by her or wanting her to give me a good response so I feel validated. I'm supposed to be a man. I'm supposed to be the leader. I should feel confident for the reasons I wrote about in the previous section and when I go in, I should be like a rock of strength. My self worth should absolutely not be dictated by how the girl responds to me.
This is especially true when I have the determination to stick through and make changes that most people can't do in their lives.
The ball in their court is his analogy about how we screw up by waiting for the girl to respond. He uses the early example of when you throw out an opener, and do it in a way where you are waiting for a response from the girl. I think about how I screw up dance floor like this. When I've had success on dance floor is when I'm out having fun, and I just start dancing by girls and then dance with them because I'm just having fun and do care about their reaction. When I'm worried about getting rejected, or waiting for them to give me a positive reaction before I'll try to dance with them is when I screw up.
3-some advice:
The only advice I had in my mind about threesomes where the stuff from Jeffy in "Transformations" and the dual massage technique from "The Game." Tyler gave a good section about setting up threesomes. The basic gist that I remember is that you need to bring up this topic early on. Early on, after I've hooked up with a girl, I need to just casually ask her if she's ever made out with her friends or done 3-somes with them. You gotta get on this path early if it's going to happen and not try to bring it up later, after you've become exclusive with the girl. One, she's not going to admit that stuff later if you haven't set it up early that you're open to that type of thing and won't judge her. Second, it's not going to work if you bring it up after you've already decided to be in an exclusive relationship with her.
Sex is just the natural result of a fun night:
Tyler spend some time going over how girls like sex more than we do. He also made me think about one of his videos where he uses the analogy of skipping to the end of the movie. He said that for girls, guys trying to rush to sex is like a someone wanting to skip to the end of the movie rather enjoying the whole experience of watching the whole movie and then getting to the end. The girls want sex, but they want to it to be part of an amazing fun night that ends up in sex because it "just happened" and she gets turned off if you try to rush to the end of the movie.
Since I've been into the game for so long, I didn't need a lot of it, and like Andydufresne (who I ran into there), I started to get bored. As a newbie, that stuff would have been golden. Still, it's good to go through fundamentals. Later on, there was good stuff there for advanced guys. There were also some good parts that good me thinking about my own sticking points.
I wanted to make a post about it so I'd remember some of the important concepts. Other than the 3-some advice, this is stuff I've already heard, or stuff I know I need to work on, and have been working on. The talk, I think will help me to learn the lesson even better.
Find confidence in taking action and being on your path:
This is the inner game stuff I've been working on for the past few months. I know I need to just find the confidence from within. He talked about how you can't rely on being jacked to be confident as their is always going to be someone bigger. If you try to rely on making money, there will always be some one richer. You have to be confident in yourself for taking action towards your goals and persisting in your efforts. You should be happy with the progress you make in life.
I've mentioned that working out has been helpful to me in this area. Diet and exercise has been the only thing I've stuck with consistently the past few months. The half marathon was such an inspiring experience because I got to see that training and suffering from the summer actually translate into running a good race and finding inner strength to run all out for the last two miles. If I can just be consistent with pickup and my other pursuits, I will see the payoff there as well.
Also, I should be confident in that I can stick with my goals. I don't give myself enough credit and I think too much about what I still need to achieve and/or my past failures. I need to be confident because I have stuck with my weight loss and running for the most part. Most people can't do it. I have to think of all my other good qualities and be happy with them.
Girls are attracted to decisive guys/Not guys who put the ball in their court:
Again, it's not new stuff, but the talk got me thinking again and determined to do things properly. When I fail with the hot girls or just girls in general, it's because I show that little bit of hesitation or I just don't lead. Girls are hard wired to respond to leaders and guys who take action. That hot girls won't like me if I go up intimidated by her or wanting her to give me a good response so I feel validated. I'm supposed to be a man. I'm supposed to be the leader. I should feel confident for the reasons I wrote about in the previous section and when I go in, I should be like a rock of strength. My self worth should absolutely not be dictated by how the girl responds to me.
This is especially true when I have the determination to stick through and make changes that most people can't do in their lives.
The ball in their court is his analogy about how we screw up by waiting for the girl to respond. He uses the early example of when you throw out an opener, and do it in a way where you are waiting for a response from the girl. I think about how I screw up dance floor like this. When I've had success on dance floor is when I'm out having fun, and I just start dancing by girls and then dance with them because I'm just having fun and do care about their reaction. When I'm worried about getting rejected, or waiting for them to give me a positive reaction before I'll try to dance with them is when I screw up.
3-some advice:
The only advice I had in my mind about threesomes where the stuff from Jeffy in "Transformations" and the dual massage technique from "The Game." Tyler gave a good section about setting up threesomes. The basic gist that I remember is that you need to bring up this topic early on. Early on, after I've hooked up with a girl, I need to just casually ask her if she's ever made out with her friends or done 3-somes with them. You gotta get on this path early if it's going to happen and not try to bring it up later, after you've become exclusive with the girl. One, she's not going to admit that stuff later if you haven't set it up early that you're open to that type of thing and won't judge her. Second, it's not going to work if you bring it up after you've already decided to be in an exclusive relationship with her.
Sex is just the natural result of a fun night:
Tyler spend some time going over how girls like sex more than we do. He also made me think about one of his videos where he uses the analogy of skipping to the end of the movie. He said that for girls, guys trying to rush to sex is like a someone wanting to skip to the end of the movie rather enjoying the whole experience of watching the whole movie and then getting to the end. The girls want sex, but they want to it to be part of an amazing fun night that ends up in sex because it "just happened" and she gets turned off if you try to rush to the end of the movie.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Made $20 NYE & Loving the random things that happen
Asian Cousin and I are nothing but committed to our goals lately. Seagull decided to get drunk at home with his roommates instead of going out. None of our regular crew was going out either, and this was even before it was clear that there was going to be a snow storm. I drove to gym at the beginning of the storm and the drive back made me really now want to go out. Asian Cousin and I had planned on doing it, and he was still texting me about going to these two free venues we had found.
Part of me thinks back and sees how it might have been a good night to stay in. The snow storm did depress the crowds. I think that at venues that had packages that had been preselling for weeks, the snow wouldn't have mattered. Also, the city was probably busy since people didn't have to drive (though that option would have sucked for us as we would have still had to drive in the snow, not had any free parking, or walked around in the snow taking the train. In the suburbs, and especially at our destinations which were free (which meant they didn't expect that much business), the storm really hurt things. At the first venue, there literally only two sets of available girls. The first was two ugly fatties, and the second was this 3-set.
We stalled on opening the 3-set until we were about to leave. On Saturday, Asian Cousin had talked about doing the game/deal where your wing has you open a set (we agreed to make it it easy but excluding mix sets, and just making it girl only sets), and if you don't open, you give the other guy $1. I didn't want to play, but I also knew it was right: we were supposed to be opening anyway, and the money is a good incentive to take action. He made me do the 3-set, and I went to open it.
Well, standing around for so long made it hard, and I happened to come in just as they were arguing about something so I meekly left after my weak opening. I pushed AC to open them later, and he stopped one of them after they came out of the bathroom. They had escaped to the bathroom because some lame guys had opened them at the bar and chased them away. I mentioned at the time that there was another reason we should open. We had stalled and some lame guys had opened them when we could have opened and improved their night instead (well, in this case, we could have been less lame as we weren't exactly in top form).
Three lessons:
Later in the night, I'd tell AC, then we should take two lesson from tonight. First, we should feel confidence in the fact that we braved the weather to stay committed to our goals. I write that I could have stayed in. Had I known how dead it was going to be, it might have been worth staying it because missing out on 3-5 sets is fine. Still, I think I would have felt like I had been lazy with my goals and felt bad about staying in had I blown off the night. Also, I wouldn't have had my $20 experience that I'll write about shortly.
The second lesson is that we shouldn't squander the sets we have and shouldn't waste time not opening and doubting ourselves. The 3-set from the first venue ended up being the hottest girls of the night. We waited so long to open them, and AC actually was doing okay with his target until the leader girl came in a pulled her away. We had been anxious to try the new place hoping their would be more sets (there were, but a lot fewer than we had expected, and again, these girls turned out to be way hotter than the ones at the 2nd venue). Had we known what the next venue was going to be like, we would have tried harder with these girls.
The lesson then is then when we're out in the future, we need to take advantage of the opportunities there. Let's not fail to open sets on a busy night because we doubt ourselves. Let's remember the dead night, like our NYE, when we are in the process of wasting abundant sets. Let's also remember NYE, when we're out in the summer and want to call it quits early rather than pushing on during a busy night, when we're in a good state and things are more likely to happen.
The third lesson is similar to the second. There were two cute blondes that we spotted. I did a half attempt at opening them in an effort to avoid losing $1 for not opening. Later, I went back to open their group when they were off the dance floor, and this girl told me, "I'm sorry, but we're about to leave because our friend just got kicked out." Damn. We could have been having fun with them that whole time, yet I stalled and now they had to leave so I wouldn't even have a chance now.
I had been out on the dance floor yet I was holding myself back. I danced by some of the girls, but never fully committed to try to dance with them and move things along. Heck, one black girl even bumped into me. on the dance floor. I really think it was on purpose so I'd engage her. Seriously, the dance floor was wide open since it was dead, so she had to have done it on purpose. I think so additionally because she was kind of giggling when it happened. I knew this at the time, but I just wasn't in the right state at the time.
$20 cab ride:
We had been talking about leaving the whole time, and I finally said, "Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. We're just wasting our time. There are no sets. Let's remember this on a busy night and learn our lesson."
As we were walking out, this guy asked AC, "Hey, where are you headed? I'll give you $20 if you drive my wife and I home."
AC just blew it off. The guy then asked me. He seemed trustworthy. He was also doing a good job of selling it, as he pulled out the $20 to show me, and kept saying, "It's on X road and Y road, which isn't too far from her."
I sized him and his wife up and said, "Fuck it, let's go." (I use that line a lot as I always think of "Rounders." It's the part when Worm (Ed Norton's Character) is trying to get Mike (Matt Damon's character) to go to Atlantic City after he discovers his live in girlfriend has just moved out her stuff. Mike finally says that when he decided to go. It still gets me pumped up thinking about the scene, even though the movie came out in '98.)
The drive was only like 10 minutes out of the way for me and the guy seemed cool. I got to practice some of my conversation skills.
The reason they had needed a ride was because the snowstorm and it being NYE made it so there were no cabs around. I've been at that venue many times before, and usually there's a line of cabs waiting in front (and this is in the suburbs).
I got my gas money and more for the night, which amuses me. What I like most is that this event was like the beer spill from Friday. It was a totally unexpected thing that happened to me while sarging that amuses me and that I'll always remember.
AC says that he often finds himself disliking approaching and going out to meet girls and sometimes just wishes he had a regular girl. I told him that while I do want to get a rotation of girls going, I immensely enjoy going out. Well, except when I was in a bad zone like a month ago, where I felt like going out was a chore. At that time, I remember telling myself, "This is great. I gotta go out again and get my head kicked in by this."
I actually love going out most of the time. I love feeling alive by being social and getting on the dance floor. I love the random experiences, like driving this guy home, or getting the beer spilled on me. I love pulling even more, but it's been far too long since that happened, and I seriously like these other random happenings as well.
Part of me thinks back and sees how it might have been a good night to stay in. The snow storm did depress the crowds. I think that at venues that had packages that had been preselling for weeks, the snow wouldn't have mattered. Also, the city was probably busy since people didn't have to drive (though that option would have sucked for us as we would have still had to drive in the snow, not had any free parking, or walked around in the snow taking the train. In the suburbs, and especially at our destinations which were free (which meant they didn't expect that much business), the storm really hurt things. At the first venue, there literally only two sets of available girls. The first was two ugly fatties, and the second was this 3-set.
We stalled on opening the 3-set until we were about to leave. On Saturday, Asian Cousin had talked about doing the game/deal where your wing has you open a set (we agreed to make it it easy but excluding mix sets, and just making it girl only sets), and if you don't open, you give the other guy $1. I didn't want to play, but I also knew it was right: we were supposed to be opening anyway, and the money is a good incentive to take action. He made me do the 3-set, and I went to open it.
Well, standing around for so long made it hard, and I happened to come in just as they were arguing about something so I meekly left after my weak opening. I pushed AC to open them later, and he stopped one of them after they came out of the bathroom. They had escaped to the bathroom because some lame guys had opened them at the bar and chased them away. I mentioned at the time that there was another reason we should open. We had stalled and some lame guys had opened them when we could have opened and improved their night instead (well, in this case, we could have been less lame as we weren't exactly in top form).
Three lessons:
Later in the night, I'd tell AC, then we should take two lesson from tonight. First, we should feel confidence in the fact that we braved the weather to stay committed to our goals. I write that I could have stayed in. Had I known how dead it was going to be, it might have been worth staying it because missing out on 3-5 sets is fine. Still, I think I would have felt like I had been lazy with my goals and felt bad about staying in had I blown off the night. Also, I wouldn't have had my $20 experience that I'll write about shortly.
The second lesson is that we shouldn't squander the sets we have and shouldn't waste time not opening and doubting ourselves. The 3-set from the first venue ended up being the hottest girls of the night. We waited so long to open them, and AC actually was doing okay with his target until the leader girl came in a pulled her away. We had been anxious to try the new place hoping their would be more sets (there were, but a lot fewer than we had expected, and again, these girls turned out to be way hotter than the ones at the 2nd venue). Had we known what the next venue was going to be like, we would have tried harder with these girls.
The lesson then is then when we're out in the future, we need to take advantage of the opportunities there. Let's not fail to open sets on a busy night because we doubt ourselves. Let's remember the dead night, like our NYE, when we are in the process of wasting abundant sets. Let's also remember NYE, when we're out in the summer and want to call it quits early rather than pushing on during a busy night, when we're in a good state and things are more likely to happen.
The third lesson is similar to the second. There were two cute blondes that we spotted. I did a half attempt at opening them in an effort to avoid losing $1 for not opening. Later, I went back to open their group when they were off the dance floor, and this girl told me, "I'm sorry, but we're about to leave because our friend just got kicked out." Damn. We could have been having fun with them that whole time, yet I stalled and now they had to leave so I wouldn't even have a chance now.
I had been out on the dance floor yet I was holding myself back. I danced by some of the girls, but never fully committed to try to dance with them and move things along. Heck, one black girl even bumped into me. on the dance floor. I really think it was on purpose so I'd engage her. Seriously, the dance floor was wide open since it was dead, so she had to have done it on purpose. I think so additionally because she was kind of giggling when it happened. I knew this at the time, but I just wasn't in the right state at the time.
$20 cab ride:
We had been talking about leaving the whole time, and I finally said, "Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. We're just wasting our time. There are no sets. Let's remember this on a busy night and learn our lesson."
As we were walking out, this guy asked AC, "Hey, where are you headed? I'll give you $20 if you drive my wife and I home."
AC just blew it off. The guy then asked me. He seemed trustworthy. He was also doing a good job of selling it, as he pulled out the $20 to show me, and kept saying, "It's on X road and Y road, which isn't too far from her."
I sized him and his wife up and said, "Fuck it, let's go." (I use that line a lot as I always think of "Rounders." It's the part when Worm (Ed Norton's Character) is trying to get Mike (Matt Damon's character) to go to Atlantic City after he discovers his live in girlfriend has just moved out her stuff. Mike finally says that when he decided to go. It still gets me pumped up thinking about the scene, even though the movie came out in '98.)
The drive was only like 10 minutes out of the way for me and the guy seemed cool. I got to practice some of my conversation skills.
The reason they had needed a ride was because the snowstorm and it being NYE made it so there were no cabs around. I've been at that venue many times before, and usually there's a line of cabs waiting in front (and this is in the suburbs).
I got my gas money and more for the night, which amuses me. What I like most is that this event was like the beer spill from Friday. It was a totally unexpected thing that happened to me while sarging that amuses me and that I'll always remember.
AC says that he often finds himself disliking approaching and going out to meet girls and sometimes just wishes he had a regular girl. I told him that while I do want to get a rotation of girls going, I immensely enjoy going out. Well, except when I was in a bad zone like a month ago, where I felt like going out was a chore. At that time, I remember telling myself, "This is great. I gotta go out again and get my head kicked in by this."
I actually love going out most of the time. I love feeling alive by being social and getting on the dance floor. I love the random experiences, like driving this guy home, or getting the beer spilled on me. I love pulling even more, but it's been far too long since that happened, and I seriously like these other random happenings as well.
Sat: Cockblocked from my best set
I just write about Saturday for completeness. Asian Cousin and I remember it as a day of too much inaction. Sure, we both opened a decent amount, but we stood around doing nothing for far too much of the night. Also, we got state crashed in this tough late night venue, but we should take pride in that we were able to push through that. I even got in this good state by going off on the dance floor area and just trying to stop girls who happened to walk by. Still, I could feel myself holding back and I hate that feeling. I prefer the nights where I'm able to push myself most of the night. At first review, I blamed this slow night on it being a day off of working out, but NYE I worked out, and still didn't take as much action as I should have.
My best set was this short brunette I opened about midway through the night. She was into me, and then she started to get texts from her friend who was looking for her. I lead her to the bar area and helped her find the friend. I figured I could disarm the friend or my wing could occupy her. Well, the friend came in and just swooped her away.
Now, in the opening paragraph, I made it sound like it was one of my less confident nights. That's what it turned into at the late night venue. As I'm writing it, I think the state break of waiting 30 minutes in the cold to get in there helped dampen my enthusiasm by that point. When this set happened, I was still feeling good.
This meant that I went in two other times to try to get my girl. I should always feel confident in myself, but what helped this time, is that she had given massive IOI's showing she was into me. Well, I opened the two girls at the bar, and again, the friend just blew me off and dragged her away.
I saw them later at a table with 4 other girls. I didn't want to go back in, but I made myself do it. I have lost far too many good opportunities when I haven't made myself approach girls again that I knew were into me. Often, I just don't feel confident to do it again, and also I think it's my ego just wanting to preserve the good feelings of the prior interaction, and not wanting to risk that despite the fact that I might actually get further, heck even pull, if I try again.
This time, I just ignored the girl and started saying some funny stuff to my target. She was giggling. The funny part about this whole thing is that I really was adding value to her night. When I had observed the table, my girl look bored sitting there the entire time, and her evening only improved when I came up. Well, that cockblock friend busted thing up. I tried to engage her but she then started telling me obnoxiously to leave.
I was pissed off at that point because I knew I was improving the girls night and this girl wasn't even giving me a chance. I felt like I should have told her off. 2j said that could have worked if that was how I was really feeling. It just seemed like it was a time for me a to be alpha there. I can see how alpha guys could have shut down her BS by doing that.
I didn't do it at the time because I didn't want to risk a big scene there which this girl seemed likely to wantto create. I'll give myself credit for going back into this set several times, and for trying to stick it out a bit with the cockblock.
Another reason I wanted to tell her off is that 2j is right that I'm sometimes too nice. I want to be the fun guy all the time and sometimes do get serious and call people out on their BS.
The next day, I realized another solution that could have kept the fun guy vibe and possible disarmed the girl. When she was bitching at me, I could have started making baby noises and faces, or started moving my hand like a mouth, and making Charlie Brown teacher jibberish noises. It might have been so ridiculous that the girl might have been forced to stop being in a bitchy mode.
Oh, and I'll close by saying that I get what the deal was here. This cockblock saw her friend was a little drunk, and girls try to protect each other from doing dumb stuff like going home with guys. Still, I can usually engage friends, but this girl wasn't having any of it. It's just frustrating when it's so clear I was improving my target's night as it so contrasted the boring time she was having at that table without me.
Fri: Free Beer Spilled All Over Me
I've been lazy about posting, but I wanted to record some of the past events of the past few outings. The good thing about posting it now is that the entries will be short.
I went out Friday with Seagull and Asian Cousin. Seagull has turned into flake with his new job, and despite his protestations at the end of this night, I knew in my head that he was going to flake on Saturday, and indeed that proved to be the case. Seagull and I work well together, but I don't mind getting a new perspective form having a different character in the mix.
Asian Cousin got into a good set when he went to wing Seagull with this Brazillian set. I guess he made out with the girl but couldn't go home with her as he couldn't get rid of the friends nor could he get her to do some sort of food venue change. Seagull and I went off on own own after that.
I was pumped up that night and had build momentum from having gone out Thursday. While my two wings were a bit hesitant to open, I was opening girls right off the bat and having a good time. This is contrast to what would happen Thursday and New Years.
Despite my enthusiasm, I don't have any good sets, though I did end up with a funny memory. I talk about how I like the randomness of going out and how unexpected things happen, things that I couldn't imagine happening. On Friday, a beer was wasted, and it reminded me of a pleasant memory of spilled beer from a few years ago. I was in the burbs with G, actually at the one of the place place I would end up this past NYE. This girl ran into my beer and it spilled all over her shirt. She wasn't even mad, and the crazy part was she ended up being really into me. She was with a girlfriend, and it seemed like that girl was with a guy and was trying to hook up my beer girl with that guy's friend. Beer girl obviously like me more, but the friend kept massively cockblocking me. I just remember it was one of those nights where I just had extreme confidence. I remember beer girl was dancing with the guy on the dance floor, and I came in on them and stole her away form him by using the technique where you start grinding on her, and on him, and then spinning her away from him.
I actually try to remember that moment in my head when I'm feel less than confident, or when I wondering how I can get rid of a competing guy, or doubting my dance floor game. Sadly, I got rid of the guy that night, and I was dancing and grinding with my girl, and the the cockblock friend came along and pulled her away once again.
Friday beer spill:
I opened this girl who was sitting on a stool at the end of the night. She had a nearly full glass of beer in one hand and was holding a can of beer in the other hand. She ended up hading me the beer, and I started to sip from it. I actually like cold beer and I planned on drinking a little bit of it. I was doing one of my hardcore calorie cutting days so I didn't even want to drink the whole thing. It was a light beer and only 100 something calories but when I'm in hardcore mode, I don't want to waste calories.
As I was sipping ,she started to lift up the beer so it would flow faster. Apparently, she had wanted me to chug it. I didn't want to chug it so I just slowed down the flow into my mouth, but then she squeezed the can and lifted it more. Before I could react, the beer spilled onto my spirt and partially on to my pants.
I still giggle about this now because it was so random. I also think in some way that it would have been funny if I had been pulled over for something on the ride home as the cop would have been convinced I was drunk from me stinking like beer, yet I would have had a 0% BAC.
I wrote on my fitness log that I didn't drink the beer because I didn't want to waste calories. Part of me wanted to justify that I didn't want to drive intoxicated, but one beer wouldn't have mattered. We were still going to be out for another half hour to an hour and one beer would be processed before I drove. It was like a twenty minute walk to the car anyway, so anyway you cut it, I would have been fine. I just didn't want the calories.
My post in my fitness log prompted someone on the forums to ask me if I ever pondered if my food and pickup behavior is leading me towards a healthy relationship in both. I actually have thought about the issue but haven't had the time to hash out my thoughts in posts here or in the log, but I plan on doing so shortly.
I went out Friday with Seagull and Asian Cousin. Seagull has turned into flake with his new job, and despite his protestations at the end of this night, I knew in my head that he was going to flake on Saturday, and indeed that proved to be the case. Seagull and I work well together, but I don't mind getting a new perspective form having a different character in the mix.
Asian Cousin got into a good set when he went to wing Seagull with this Brazillian set. I guess he made out with the girl but couldn't go home with her as he couldn't get rid of the friends nor could he get her to do some sort of food venue change. Seagull and I went off on own own after that.
I was pumped up that night and had build momentum from having gone out Thursday. While my two wings were a bit hesitant to open, I was opening girls right off the bat and having a good time. This is contrast to what would happen Thursday and New Years.
Despite my enthusiasm, I don't have any good sets, though I did end up with a funny memory. I talk about how I like the randomness of going out and how unexpected things happen, things that I couldn't imagine happening. On Friday, a beer was wasted, and it reminded me of a pleasant memory of spilled beer from a few years ago. I was in the burbs with G, actually at the one of the place place I would end up this past NYE. This girl ran into my beer and it spilled all over her shirt. She wasn't even mad, and the crazy part was she ended up being really into me. She was with a girlfriend, and it seemed like that girl was with a guy and was trying to hook up my beer girl with that guy's friend. Beer girl obviously like me more, but the friend kept massively cockblocking me. I just remember it was one of those nights where I just had extreme confidence. I remember beer girl was dancing with the guy on the dance floor, and I came in on them and stole her away form him by using the technique where you start grinding on her, and on him, and then spinning her away from him.
I actually try to remember that moment in my head when I'm feel less than confident, or when I wondering how I can get rid of a competing guy, or doubting my dance floor game. Sadly, I got rid of the guy that night, and I was dancing and grinding with my girl, and the the cockblock friend came along and pulled her away once again.
Friday beer spill:
I opened this girl who was sitting on a stool at the end of the night. She had a nearly full glass of beer in one hand and was holding a can of beer in the other hand. She ended up hading me the beer, and I started to sip from it. I actually like cold beer and I planned on drinking a little bit of it. I was doing one of my hardcore calorie cutting days so I didn't even want to drink the whole thing. It was a light beer and only 100 something calories but when I'm in hardcore mode, I don't want to waste calories.
As I was sipping ,she started to lift up the beer so it would flow faster. Apparently, she had wanted me to chug it. I didn't want to chug it so I just slowed down the flow into my mouth, but then she squeezed the can and lifted it more. Before I could react, the beer spilled onto my spirt and partially on to my pants.
I still giggle about this now because it was so random. I also think in some way that it would have been funny if I had been pulled over for something on the ride home as the cop would have been convinced I was drunk from me stinking like beer, yet I would have had a 0% BAC.
I wrote on my fitness log that I didn't drink the beer because I didn't want to waste calories. Part of me wanted to justify that I didn't want to drive intoxicated, but one beer wouldn't have mattered. We were still going to be out for another half hour to an hour and one beer would be processed before I drove. It was like a twenty minute walk to the car anyway, so anyway you cut it, I would have been fine. I just didn't want the calories.
My post in my fitness log prompted someone on the forums to ask me if I ever pondered if my food and pickup behavior is leading me towards a healthy relationship in both. I actually have thought about the issue but haven't had the time to hash out my thoughts in posts here or in the log, but I plan on doing so shortly.
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