Bad Solo Sarging; DJ R saved my night

Part of me wants to be embarrassed that I can even have a night like this after all the time I have in the game. I was worried when 2j told me that he wasn't gonna come out, but even in my reply to him, I said that I needed to learn this lesson. Logically, I know it makes no difference being solo. I started this journey solo and I can think of this awesome set last year that should have been a lay. That was the voluptuous black girl that I opened when I was out solo and ended up going out to eat and almost pulling to my place last summer. Besides my history of solo game, 2j has told me that when we are together, we often end up doing our own sets anyway.

I attribute my difficulties to not having had a solo night since last August. Yeah, I've stayed out after 2j went home, but that's different as I already warmed up. When I've gotten to a venue before 2j, I also haven't been bothering to really warm up until he shows up . I know that after tonight's experience, I'll make myself open when I get to a venue before 2j. I'll also force myself to go out alone frequently enough that I don't lose my comfort zone for solo game.

I can be proud that I didn't stand around and do absolutely nothing. I slowly forced myself to open some sets but they didn't go anywhere. That's fine but I wasn't feeling myself getting more confident which is usually what happens after a few sets, whether they are fast bust outs or good sets. I felt nervous riding solo. I remember sitting in Red Ivy at the edge of the dance floor just trying to get myself comfortable. I tried opening some girls walking onto the dance floor but more often than not I just passed on the opportunity.

DJ R to the rescue:
I need to find out this wing's screen name. He is the guy I ran into three weeks ago. 2j had gone home and I was opening solo sets. He opened a 2-set and I ended up winging him and making out with that girl and later got a Day 2 with her. That was shit night that he helped turn around. Tonight was a way worst night, and I was so lucky to see him walk by me.

When I ran into DJ R, I realized why I've gotten so comfortable being out with wings. Well, it's more so with guys I know from the Community. It's like I get state from making myself want to try to live up to the PUA standard. I won't let myself stand around and not do anything. I also try to run better game. Those are the dumb reasons. I say that as I should be living up to my own standards and no one else's. I realized this as I thought about the night. When I used to go out solo a lot, I forced myself to run good game because that is the standard I set for myself. Well, without wings too, I knew that if I sit around and do nothing, then I'll never get into any sets. I just say the above were dumb reasons because I shouldn't run better game to impress wings; I should always try to be my best self to live up to the standard I set for myself.

The positive thing I get from wings is that I do get inspired when I see other PUA's opening and running sets. We even ran into some guys that were out sarging also. The came up and talked to us when they spotted us opening a set. I guess one of the guys lurks on RSD. I'll probably run into them again as they say they go to a lot of the same places that 2j and I frequent. Anyway, I call this a positive influence because there's nothing wrong with being inspired by your wings taking action. It's also fun to just joke around about stuff or laugh about bust outs. Also, DJ R and I push each other to open sets.

Why am I not number closing enough?:
I had my best set right after I ran into DJ R. I opened this tall girl. I was attracted to her but her body was just average. She was cute and her being taller than me is just a big fetish that I have right now. She told me that her friend just moved to Chicago and she was trying to get her to meet new friends. I told DJ R that as soon as I could. As for my girl, we seemed to have some connection. Even beyond that, we live in the same town. That's so rare: I can say that I've NEVER met a girl while out sarging in 7 years who happens to be from my town. I tell 2j it's hard enough to meet girls that live in the same area as I do. She might actually live in the city now but she said her parents live by me. Heck, she even showed me her ID that showed her address in my town.

I felt like this could be a long set but then the girls said they had to go. DJ R had number closed his girl. I think his girl wanted to explore other places. I know that in the past, I would have just grabbed the number when they said they were leaving. It's not like the girls bolted out. The friend shook my hand and said she was leaving. My girl gave DJ R a hug, and then she turned to me and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. That's when I should have grabbed the number.

I guess I know the answer to the topic heading. I don't like farming numbers as that's the stuff I used to do as a newbie. I know I can steamroll a lot of girls into giving me a number. Since last year, I've only been taking numbers when I feel like there's some connection or some actual reason I'd like to hang out with the girl besides just wanting to fuck her. Since I've been back, I only have taken two numbers and they were from long sets. It's like I've told myself that I only take numbers if I got a make out or a least pushed for one.

I know now that I've taken it too far. I should take more numbers. 2j will number close shorter sets and has gotten a ton of lays through that method. I remember last year that Day 2 lays were more hist style that just trying to SNL pulls.

There was no excuse not to take this girl's number tonight. I could have number closed some other girls but I don't really regret not going for those. I regret this and I haven't regretted not going for a number close in a VERY LONG time. I'm gonna blame this on my bad state before I ran into DJ R. I stepped up my game but I still hadn't brought myself into the right PUA zone.

I'll learn from this mistake. I always learn from the mistakes that hurt.

I can be aggressive:
There were some other sets I could write about, but the other sets that sticks out in my head was this mixed 3 set of two girls and one guy. I opened this blonde and she seemed high buying temperature right off the bat. She was giving me the doggy bowl eyes right off the bat. She was comfortable with me holding her hands too. I talked for a bit but then she tried to tell me that the guy was her boyfriend. It didn't look like he was but I just walked away. I saw the three of them go to the dance floor later. He was grinding with the blonde but not the chubby brunette friend so maybe there was something between them.

I couldn't get her out of my head. I can just tell when a girl is high buying temperature. I went up to her again and grabbed her attention. She was into me again but the chubby friend pulled the set away from me. About fifteen minutes later, I saw them buying drinks. I went up to her again and I tried to be more aggressive. I told her to "Ditch the chode." She told me that they were leaving soon but she still kept giving me that same doggy dinner bowl look. Obviously, she was drunk as I remember the chubby friend saying, "Wow, I didn't realize you were that drunk."

I never did figure out the guy's story. I thought he was guy friend but then I think he might have sarged her. I remember hearing the chubby friend say, "You can escort us home. We live by Sheridan."

I should have persisted a bit more but I began to lose my confidence and I walked away shortly after this.

Still, I'm happy to see this side of me again. It's like having that guy there made me want to turn up my game even more. I know if I persisted more I might have done better but I haven't even come close to being challenged like this since I returned to the game this year.

You know what to do so do it

I told myself that I was gonna start posting regularly. As I've written here, and as I told 2j last night, reviewing each night to create these posts really helped me improve in the past.

I was quite happy with my inner game and approach confidence. If I saw a hot girl that interested me, I approached. The only exceptions were was I avoided approaching some huge mixed set, and there were a few hotties on the dance floor that I didn't approach . I still am trying to get more comfortable with dance floor game. I approached a few sets on the dance floor, but where I'd like to get my comfort zone is where I'd approach girls on the dance floor as often as I'd approach girls off the dance floor.

I think my main problem with dance floor is that I know what the right move is when I see 2-3 girls dancing. I always tell 2j that I need to do the "J" approach. I mean that I know I need to go up and dance in the middle of the girls like our short lived Asian wing used to do for us. I need to dance in the middle of the circle, and then grab the girl I want to dance with and focus on her. I need to be high energy to do this and be completely comfortable. As I couldn't get myself in the right state, I resorted to just tapping a few sets on the dance floor and trying to open them verbally.

I'd say the two best sets of the night was this 3-set I opened early on and then this girl I opened at the end of the night that was in a big set. The 3-set had 3 black girls. I stopped the best looking one (she was about average looks but the best out of the group). She said something that sounded like a blowout so I started walking up the stairs with 2j. I felt someone grab my shoulder. I turned and it was her. I think I said something like, "I thought you were blowing me off." She said, "I told you to just wait a second."

I knew it was on when she approached me like that so I began to dance by her. I knew that I needed to start getting up on her but instead I tried to run verbal game. Then, I chicked out and started talking to 2j as if that would somehow help me figure out what I was supposed to do. 2j told me that I was dancing with her like a guy friend and that I needed to get up on her. Duh. I knew that but I wasn't allowing myself to make the right move. I tried to go back into the set, but of course, my window had closed.

Later, we went out to Lincoln Park. I was proud that I opened this tall blonde who was seated. There were times when I know I would have been chicken to approach. She was giving me IOI's as I was talking, but I couldn't get the set to really pop so I just left. Maybe I should have persisted a little longer.

At the end of the night, we stopped by Trojan's favorite bar. The dance floor section was closed off. The only set was this mixed set with 2 guys and 4 girls. I direct opened this pale girl and immediately she was into me. She kinoed my arm and was telling me verbally how glad she was that I talked to her. I found out that the group was from Michigan and were only gonna be in town for one night. The PUA in me was telling me I needed to isolate her from the group and then escalate. Instead, I just kept trying talk and be friendly.

Again, here I knew the move but didn't follow my instinct. She liked me but I was escalating fast enough. I needed to tell her to come to the back of the bar so I could get her away from the group. Then I just needed to kino more and pull her in and I probalby had a good chance of getting a makeout.

What the hell was up with me playing it too safe? It was especially bad to do so in that situation considering the only move was to try for an SNL since she was leaving the next day.

Tonight, I just have to be relaxed and confident and actually follow through with what I know I should be doing.

.

Never Good Enough: The Curse and the Gift

Before I wrote the last entry, I had decided to come on here to explore a thought. 

Why am I never happy?

Of course, that's not entirely true.  I'm not in a constant state of depression . I'm far from it nowadays.  I have those moments where I just feel good.  Unfortunately, or so I thought, I also have those moments where I just don't feel good enough.

Take last Wendesday, for example.  I didn't write about it, but I went out with 2j and I met this Chinese girl.  We opened this 2 set of Asian girls.  2j talked to some chubby girl that ended up being really into him.  I opened the friend and it went nowhere.  I was standing there feeling stupid and I was about to walk away, when this third girl showed up.  She was cuter than the other two girls.  I introduced myself and we just started talking.  About about two minutes, I started to think, "Wow, this seems like it on."  I spent probalby the next hour and a half with her.  I escalated a bit on the dance floor, I went for the make out.  She kept turning her head as she didn't want to actually kiss, but she also couldn't get enough of me. 

I pushed a little for the extraction, but I realized I wasn't gonna get here out of the club.  2j said that there wasn't much more I could do with the set.  I felt great afterwards as I had two nights prior to that that had gone nowhere.  When I say that, I mean I had no long sets the two previous night.  This was breakthrough night.  At the same time, I wasn't happy with my night because I couldn't pull. 

A gift:
Tonight, I realized that as much as I curse this part of me, I have to accept that it has helped define me in many positive ways.  I think this TD/Owen video got me thinking this point.  I can't remember the exact point he made but it was something to the effect that the fact that we worry if we're good enough for a hotties is a reason why we are actually good enough.  This constant drive to improve ourselves sets us apart. 

I think about some of the "cool" guys that hook up with the hotest girls.  Often, it's some doucebag guy that treats her like shit.  I remember a community saying that I heard when I first got into the game, "Girls like confident guys and assholes are pretty confident."  Some of these naturals get a lot of girls because they are delusionally confident.  Their lives might be total shit, but they believe in themselves and are confident so they get the girls.  Meanwhile, no matter what great things I had going for me in the many stages of my life, I'd always feel inadequate.  I feel that I just needed one more thing to make me happy or just had to fix a few things to deserve the really hot girl. 

Not being happy that I got no girls (and I'd argue, being open-minded) is what got me into sarging.  There were other guys like me who had no social skills with girls that just accepted that they had to be that way.  They accepted that they would never be good with women so they either just settled for whatever girl they could get, or just accepted being single and lonely. 

I was lucky enough to discover "The Game" and I slowly improved myself so that I'm living a life that I never dreamed could have been possible before. 

The Curse:
I've already hinted at this aspect already, but let me discuss it explicitely.  In the past, I've had money and success for where I was in my life, and yet I always felt like it wasn't enough.  I used to think I had to be the best at something or as crazy as it sounds as I write it now, I even thought I had to be the best in the world at something before I could be happy.  That was a rat race that I could never win.  I'll even go far to say that even if I had achieved whatever BS goals society or I set, I'd never be happy. 

I accept this duality:
I think I'm close to figuring out what I need to do to be happy.  It's not anything new.  I know I've written it in many times in these posts, but maybe I'm close to actually fully internalizing it. 
Today, I was saying that I wish I didn't have feel unhappy or that I was not good enoguh.  I decided to write this entry because I realize that I wouldn't be where I'm at if that were true. 

I could have been rich.  I could have been successful by society's standards.  Yet I might (I'd like to say that I would, but I have to be honest in that I may just be rationalizing it now) not have been happy anyway.  There are guys out there who have these things and more.  We see people that seem to have everything: money, fame, sucess, etc, who are miserable. 

I could have been a natural that got girls in high school and/or college, and then gotten depressed when I got older and didn't have the same social situations.  I remember Jeffy saying that he's had clients like that who were awesome with girls in college and couldn't get any out  at the bars or the real world. 

I could have been the self delusional natural that bangs hot girls but just parties all the time and doesn't have the depth or intelligence that I actually do have.

I deserve the high quality girls.

Maybe all of this leads to the realization that I have to internalize the above.  As a result of this curse and gift, I've discovered that I can improve myself.  I can find happiness if I live up to my own standards.  I need to try to move in the right direction that I set for myself and be happy that I'm putting my best effort forwards. 

I deserve to have a hot girl.  I deserve to have an intelligent girl.  That I want to better myself is a great quality.  I should be happy with the gifts that I do have.

I still have work to do, but I think I am figuring things out.  The last few times I've sarged, I have been feeling more confident.  I make mistakes but I really am starting to believe that the hot girls can be mine. 

Updates & Sex is not the Holy Grail

I figured a little summary of what's been going on with my life in appropriate here. I've been going out but I haven't had the time nor the inclination to make regular updates.  At the same time, I've realized that I miss posting.  Reviewing my nights was very theraputic and helped me ingrain the lessons of the night into my mind. 

I left off with my first real success since my return to sarging.  I ended up getting a Day 2 with that girl and even though we seemed to have fun and kissed again, things fizzled out.  She sent me a text a few days later giving me the "I just wanna be friends" speech. 

The funny thing was that while I was on the train to that Day 2, I got a call from this flaky girl I called "Latina Nurse" in my blog.  I had stopped talking to her as at the end of last summer, we'd make plans and she'd always flake out.  I just stopped contacting her.  She sent me a text on Thanksgiving but I didn't respond.  I was sick of her and I was dating someone at the time anyway. 

I didn't answer the phone while I was on the train two weeks ago, but I sent a text asking what she wanted.  She said she wanted to know the name of this beer garden we had gone to before.  By coincidence, it was the same place I was heading to for my Day 2.  We saw each other at the beer garden while I was waiting for my date.  She commented on how I looked good as I had lost a ton of weight and she kept asking me what I had been doing for the past 6 months.  She then suggested that we should hang out  again.  I told her that she's the one that kept flaking out on me. 

It was funny because my date showed up and Latina Nurse probably became even more interested due to the old jealousy plotline theory.  Also, when she called and text me over the next week, I wasn't as enthusiastic about meeting up as I had been in the past.  In contrast, she was more interested than she had been since I first met her several years ago. 

I ended up meeting with her Saturday.  I decided that I'd meet up with her but she was on probation.  If she flaked out, I probably wouldn't talk to her again.  I also decided that things had to be different than they had been in the past. 

We ended up hooking up so I guess she's won a spot on my team.  We had messed around in the past, but for some reason I had never been able to have sex with her.  Funny how easily it came this time. 

Sex is not the Holy Grail:

It had been a few months since I had sex.  With my ex, we messed around a lot but we didn't have sex that many times as she always felt guilty about it.  I suppose I would have made many posts about our situation had I been blogging at the time. 

I felt a relief that I had finally gotten laid after a long time.  It really sucks to go without sex, even for just a few months.  Especially being into sarging as much as I have, when I'm not having sex, I feel like something is missing or wrong with me. 

At the time time, now that I had sex recently, and it looks like I won't have a drought for the immediate future, I was reminded that sex isn't that big of a deal.  It seems like it when you can't get any, but then you realize when you do get it that it's not some magical thing that's gonna change your life.  It's great, but when you're without it, you think that if you can only get this hottie or whatever, that you're life is gonna be fixed. 

Life is a process.  I've learned that life is about making progress towards your goals and being happpy with the process.  I'm finally starting to get things straightened out.  Sarging is moving along and I can see that this can be a breakthrough summer if I continue to go out consistently.  My exercise program is finally near the tangible results Ive been seeking. 

While things are goning well, I can sense that self destrustive side that wants to screw things up through inaction.  That's the true battle.  I've been trying to keep things on track and Tyler/Owen has some good videos about success that have been helping me along. 

I'll close by saying that my inner game is at an all time high.  The last few times I've gone out, I've been opening just about every set I wanted to open.  No longer would I not open a set because a girl seemed to hot.  I realized that if I want the girl, I have to open, but beyond that, even if I banged some super hottie, that would not fix my life.  I'd have fun and be happy, but again, life is a process.  I'd just wake up the next day and still have to live my life.  Now that I dont' feel that burning need for sex, of course, I'll probably experience it more often. 

From "You're doing something wrong" to a make out

I wrote a little about Saturday. After the festival, we hit the bars and I was having a hard time getting myself to open. I think Fatty's anxiety was owning the frame as I wasn't completely comfortable in opening. I did force myself to open a few times and Fatty actually opened two girls. When we met up with 2j, I was still stalling. Seeing 2j open a set I was eyeing without hesitation helped motivate me. I started opening but I was doing something wrong. 2j tried to help by saying that I wasn't opening aggresively enough. I tried to take his advice but I still wasn't getting any sets to stick.

Looking back, my problem was that I wasn't opening with 100% belief (to use an RSD term from one of the videos). When I opened, inside, I wasn't confident that I'd get a positive response. The girls could probably sense that part of me was holding back and hedging my bets and of course, that's a turn off. Also, even when I'd get a decent response, I'd look to bail out too soon instead of plowing and waiting for the girl to really bust me out. This behavior always pisses me off cause it means that I forced myself to do the hardest part (opening), and I just waste all that by ejecting early.

Fatty got seperated from us and his phone died so I didn't meet up with him until later. 2j and I worked several bars. I got a little better at opening but nothing was sticking. I will say that the bust outs were getting me more motivated. I knew that I was better than this and I wanted to open more so I could fix my game. 2j eventually got tired and left. I was left solo since I couldn't find Fatty. I decided I was gonna press on.

As I'm wandering around the dance floor, I see two guys pass by me. I recognize this Asian guy that I met through 2j last summer. This guy is an opening machine and is very inspiring. Seeing him open made me want to step up my game. I opened a seated set and got a decent response until a friend she hadn't seen showed up. The friend introduced some guy she was with. I could have persisted in the set but I took the easy way out and ejected.

One set can change it all:
I saw Asian PUA (I don't have a nickname for him and don't know his screen names so I'll call him that) open this 3-set in the seating area. His friend was just standing around so I said I'd go wing Asian PUA. When I got up, I saw he was about to get busted out/eject but I opened one of his target's friends anyway. She had a pretty face and I was attracted.

It's funny cause I was completely sober but even when I met up with Fatty right afterwards, I couldn't
remember the exact details of the conversation. Maybe that's a good thing: it's a sign that I was actually present and in the moment. I think I opened by saying, "Hey, that's my friend. Just happened to run into him here. How do you know (Asian PUA's target)?"

My girl was holding back a bit so I touched her arm and said, "Hey, I don't bite. My cats do, but I don't."

We talked some more and realized we had a bunch of thigns in common. The eye contact was good and I felt like this was a good set. Asian PUA ejected and wanted to make sure we still had each others number. I didn't want to lost the set, so I handed him my phone and kept talking to my girl.
Shortly after Asian PUA handed me back my phone, I just asked for my target's number. I felt like it was a little miscalibrated but she complied anyway. We then kept talking. .

Later, I started to dance to the music. She danced with me but I was being weak. I was dancing like a foot away from her. I knew I was being weak so I stopped and talked so more. A few minutes later, we danced again and this time I started to take control. I said to myself, "WTF are you doing? This is weak." I grab her hand and spun her around. I worked my hands to her waist and she reciprocated by putting her hands on me. I turned her around and her ass grinding on me turned me on. I turned her back around. Our bodies were really close and we were face to face. I realized I needed to kiss her.

I give myself credit in realizing I had to make a move. I remember times in the past when I faced this situation and was too chicken to make a move. I knew how this set would end if I followed that pattern. She get frustrated that I wasn't man enough to make a move and the set would end. This time, I stroked her hair. I spun her so her back was too me. I stroked her hair away from her neck and began to blow on her neck and ear. I turned her to face me and blew into her neck and then kissed her neck. Face to face, I looked her in the eye, put my hand on the back of her neck and went in for the kiss. I pulled back for a second and went in again, and it was make out time.

I should have went for the pull:
I have to say it was a great feeling for the night to end up like this. I went from hesitating about opening to getting busted out left and right to finally being a PUA again. We had about twenty minutes together after the make out and then the lights came on. I seeded a pull idea about food and she said she was hungry. She didn't resist the idea so I could have used that as an excuse. I think the move was to tell her, "Let's go" and then get her outside. Then I could have said, "Wow, that looks like a lot of people at the pizza place. Do you have any food at your place?"

Instead, I played it safe. I want to blame the fact that I was out of touch with Fatty and the fact the he was gonna stay over as a reason I played it safe. Realistically, I probably would have played it safe even if his phone had been functional. I kept sitting by her and then her friends came by and she said, "I'm gonna leave with my friends."

I had another chance to try to pull. I told her when we parted that I'd text her so she'd have my number. I text the usual, "Get home safe" and she responded. I could have tried to invite myself over but I didn't.

This girl and I have texted a few times and she still seems into me. She's busy this week but I think we'll probably hang out next week. Still, I think in the future, I have to push for the pull. The only way to get good at pulling is to go for it, especially when the pull looks promising like it did in this case. Also, I know from past experiences that sometimes the girl changes her mind the next day and I miss out cause I didn't go for the pull to seal things between us.

This night, I was happy with the make out. Perhaps that wasn't a bad thing as I had just returned to the game. I vow to swing for the fences when in similar opportunities in the future.

Back in the game

I didn't post for months as I had a girlfriend and was going out sporadically.  She was a great girl and we had the greatest conversations.  I know I definitely need that type of connection with any girl I'd consider for serious future relationships.  We parted ways cause as great as we got along, there issues with both had that prevented us from being together.  We are still friends, though. 

I guess my real return to sarging was last week.  I had gone out a few times since the break up.  I had gone out a few times but I know that if you really want to sarge, you have to go out 2-3 times a week every week.  Last week, I went out Friday and Saturday.  Friday was spent just getting myself back into opening.  As I would tell Fatty on Saturday, when you've been in the game as long as I have, you no longer feel that real anxiety about opening.  My heart doesn't start beating in anticipation of actually talking to a random girl.  Instead, you find that you just don't want to do it. 

Friday, 2j and I started out in Wicker Park.  We checked out the First Friday event at the Flat Iron Arts center.  There weren't that many people. There were about 3 sets that I could have opened but I ran itno them when I was alone.  I've always had a harder time opening in day game situations so that was asking too much of myself.  We hit a few bars in the area but it was slow.  2j was uncomfortable opening at the slow places.  I forced myself to open this cute blonde.  It actually went well for my first real opening.  The girl that said she had to go pee.  I thought I was busted out and left but she actually did have to go to the bathroom as I saw her go right after I left.  2j told me that I could try for the number close but I didn't. 

We hit Sound Bar for the free drinks and then went out in Lincoln Park.  Fatty had come down to meet us but he didn't show up until midnight.  I wasn't able to build off my initial success.  I think the free drinks hurt me cause I felt a huge energy crash in Lincoln Park.  I opened but nothing really stuck.

Saturday, Fatty and I went to the Cinco De Mayo Festival in Little Village.  That neighborhood is sometimes in the news for the wrong reasons: you'll hear about the occasional shootings there.  Fatty has no problem checking out bad neighboorhoods.  I wanted to go so I could say I was in the neighborhood, plus I knew it would be safe with the festival going on.  On the way we stopped for dinner at Nuevo Leon in Pilsen . There, I saw that redhead I used to see at Joe's every week last summer.  I've run into her at the weirdest places.  I ran into her on Halloween when I was with my GF.  We stopped at this Jewel near UIC and I remember seeing this tall girl with a decent body and the recognizing that it was the redhead.  I didn't say hi this time as I wasn't sure she'd remember me.

The festival was okay.  It had reasonable prices unlike most festivals in the city, probably because it is in a poorer neighborhood.  Fatty and I ended up walking west on 26th street.  That was the way to catch the bus plus we wanted to check out some of the local bakeries.  I had another random run in with someone I recognized from Joe's.  We stopped to use the restrooms at the McDonald's.  As I was waiting for Fatty, this Latino guy walked by and we made eye contact.  We recognized each other and he stopped and said, "I know you from somewhere."  I told him that he was X's friend, and we talked a bit about Joe's.  He asked me what I was doing down in this neighborhood.

I'm always amused when I randomly run into people because I think about how the timing had to be perfect for us to run into each other.  If Fatty had peed a little faster or I had waited outside, or anything had changed in the Latino's guy's day, we wouldn't have run into each other. 

After we got on the bus, we hit Wrigley.

FR Sat: Solo warmup leads to solid night

I had a good night Saturday and the only thing that I might have done better was to try to push one particular set to a pull despite likely bad logistics. I started out solo as I didn't hear from G, and all my RSD guys, including my main wing 2j, were at Hot Seat. I got to Wrigley and found a parking spot right away. I sat in the car for 10 minutes surfing the net on my phone and then I finally decided I wasn't gonna be stupid and sit there. I haven't done any solo gaming in a long time and I know that it would be good to push myself to do some. Besides, trying warm ups solo is way better than just sitting in the car waiting.

The first bar I walked into, I ended up standing around for 10 minutes doing nothing. When I don't take action for that long in a venue, I find it easier to just reboot myself by leaving and going somewhere new. I forced myself to open some sets immediately upon entering the second venue. After talking to two different sets, I found myself feeling good and excited about being out.

Quick kiss close:
In the 4th venue, I passed by this pale girl and just pulled her into me. From the way we maintained eye contact, I could just tell that it was on. Her situation was perfect too: she had just moved to Chicago a few weeks ago to start a new job. She hasn't really seen much of the city and sounded excited as I talked about all these interesting restaurants and other spots. She likes food and travel.

I asked her to sit down, and I could tell she wanted to kiss me. I was exercising what Tyler described in his "Physical Game" video. Instead of immediately going for the kiss, I just held the tension. As he describes in the video, the dynamic was different from times in the past when I knew or suspected the girl wanted to kiss me and I held back because I was afraid to do so. I finally kissed her briefly and of course, she wanted it. I pulled it back right away but we'd kiss 2 more times while talking there. Later, I remember there being a pause in the conversation. It was time to kiss and I just looked into her eyes, and she couldn't take the tension and leaned in to kiss me.

There was a break as I text 2j. He was meeting me but I hadn't responded since I was in the set so he was next door. I told him to come meet me here as my girl had several friends at the venue including this cute Asian girl. There was break here when 2j came and my girl went to talk to some other friends. She was in a big set of several college friends.

2j and I hung out at the venue for awhile. I kept asking him whether the move was to try to pull her or to just continue the night. It seemed like a solid Day 2 possibility. Ultimately, I decided to not push for the pull. The reasons that the pull seemed difficult are: she was in a big group of friends and they were all around 21-22 (these younger sets are less likely to let their friends be pulled, unlike late 20's+ girls who will often just let it happen). I would add that I threw out some feelers about grabbing food or hanging out after. She said she wasn't hungry and she said we could hang out again on another day. While those two responses were normal, they also indicated that this wasn't a situation where the girl was gonna make it super easy to be pulled.

On the other hand, part of me knows I need pulling practice. What stuck in my head too is that I went to the dance floor to tell her I was going to check out this other club. She must have thought I asked her to go to Barleycorn as she paused for a second to think about it and then said she should probably stay here with her friends. That pause means that I probably could have moved her around that bar, made out with, and then pushed her to go to the other club. If I got the veneu change and hung out with her till close, I might have gotten the pull to her place.

I settled for taking using the phone number (which I took shortly after I first kissed her) and trying to set up a Day 2.

Solid number close:
We were walking around the huge dance floor at the other venue. I had several sets that I just massively hooked. This one girl, I just walked by and pulled into me. It's amazing how when I'm in state (heck, I'd even say, this happens when I'm just not in a shitty state), I can just go up to girls at will and get strongly positive reactions. I'll pull the girl in and the eye contact will be strong and I can tell that at that initial opening, she wants me. Of course, it's easy to lose that feeling by doing something low value or other stuff happening. Still, it's something that I only began to experience regularly as my game really started improving at the end of summer.

I ended up number closing this one girl. I had asked her logistical questions. She was with a girl and a gay friend and she said they were going to Berlin (this gay club near by). I took her number because we had interesting conversation. She's interested in travel and international events. I text her and she's been responding more enthusiastically than the girl I actually kissed that night. Strange how that works.

No after hours:
As I mentioned, I had some other strong sets while I was out but nothing really materialized from them. I had definitely built momentum from the awesome Free Tour speech and from going out since Wednesday. 2j hates doing after hours nowadays. I could have gone out solo, but I was tired from having run 10 miles Saturday and from going out Wed-Sat so I was happy to call it a night. Besides, I had a good evening already.