Sunday, August 15, 2010

Reasonable Expectation

Reasonable Expectations

After thinking long and hard about my evening, I came up with the following to make me feel better about myself:

I can't expect to be at the level I left off at but I can expect that if I keep getting out there, I'll get my game back to the level it was at and surely surpass it.
 

I was hard on myself the whole night and now I realize that I wasn't being fair to myself.  I've been opening sets with little fear and I've been having some good interactions and two that I'd consider great.  I seriously almost forgot that I had just started sarging again last week.  I expected the learning curve to be harder.  Approach anxiety is almost nonexistent and I feel like I'm back to a point where I was stuck for a long time.  This is where I can open sets and most girls will like me enough to not bust me out.  I get into a lot of sets that are okay but I feel like they aren't going anywhere.  I mean that I'd get into these sets where it doesn't look like I'm going to get laid by staying in the set. 

That's why I got pissed at myself:

I found myself sitting in several sets where I felt like I just described.  I knew things weren't going anywhere but I also didn't want to leave and give up.  I kept trying to move things along.  Part of me feels like I'm a victim of some bad luck.  For example, I had this amazing conversation with this girl.  She thinks a lot like this girl I met at Cadillac Ranch months ago.  The only problem is that she owns a store with her boyfriend...

Two other times, I was working on some blondes and couldn't make anything happen.  I couldn't figure out how to move things along. 

I also got pissed at myself because I was working other sets instead of trying to sarge one of my friend's coworkers that came out.  He had told me she was very single.  I didn't realize it until to late.  I saw her talking to these guys and it was obvious she was trying to get laid.  I didn't feel like I had enough energy to both sarge her and blow off the guys so I gave up. 

Of course I'm rusty:
It really did hit me when I thought about how I've only been out three times since I escaped from that black hole.  As I wrote above, it's amazing how simple things are but at the same time, I've got a long way to go.  I am out of practice and that's why I'm not moving these sets along as well as I have in the past.  I shouldn't feel bad about it as I know I'll get better as long as I keep going out consistently. 

What I need to do:

My opening is fine.  I get in and the girls like me.  My light kino is fine.  Where I went wrong is that I didn't try to push the interactions.  That's what I need to work on next time.  I knew I needed to be more daring with the kino.  I needed to try leaving my hand over the girl's hand a little longer to see if she was comfortable with it.  I needed to expand my kino to the more places: I needed to touch her leg, stroke her hair, or touch her face. 

I realize how important this stuff is because it helps you screen out the girls that are DTF.  I read some field reports this past week and I was reminded of how important that is.  I've been wasting time in sets because I didn't screen them for that.  I'm glad I had some of those great conversations I had, but if I want to go home with a girl and I need to push kino forward faster and see if they are ready for that.  If I like them but they don't seem DTF, I should number close and work on other girls. 

Beyond that, I just have to believe in myself and believe that the girls will like me for who I am.  If I move the interaction along confidently, I'll get where I need to go.  It sounds basic, but I can recall several times tonight when I recognized the right move but didn't go for it. 

Jumping back in

Jumping back in

Tonight was an internal pity party at times.  Then I remembered that I just got back into this last week.  I never posted a field report but I'm proud to report that I jumped right back into sarging.  I went to Wisconsin Dells two weeks ago and as I got ready to get back into sarging last week, I kept thinking about the cold water analogy.  The water in the wave pool felt cold, and there's two ways you can deal with it.  You can inch your way into slowly or you can just splash into the water and get it over with.  I remember that I kept doing the inch method.  I vowed that I wasn't going to follow that method when it came back to sarging. 

Seagull and I walked into Barleycorn.  He had to use the rest room and instead of stalling, I went right up and opened a 2-set.  I remembered that I opened it fine but then I stalled out and just left instead of plowing.  I got a beer and then I opened this other two set.  This brunette in the set seemed to like me.  I remember I stalled several times and she would keep the conversation going by asking me questions.  I ended up screwing up the set because I talked to this chubby Asian girl.  She was really cool.  We were having a great time talking and the friends had to come back three times before she agreed to leave me. 

That was a great way to get back into things and I kept trying to build momentum the rest of that night and the next day. 

Sunday, August 8, 2010

A few extra seconds at a stop sign saved my life

A few extra seconds at a stop sign saved my life

I often think about how I was recently given a second chance at life.  It doesn't feel real at times because I don't have anything tangible to show for it.  If I were grazed by a bullet, I'd have a scar to prove that.  If I had almost gotten on a plane that crashed, I'd have the ticket printout and the news articles.  In this case, I just have my memory. 

About six weeks ago (I could look up the exact date by my banking website is down), I was driving to the ATM the bank branch the next town over.  It was about 9pm and I just needed to get there before 10pm so my account wouldn't overdraft.  I wasn't excited about leaving the house as I had to stop playing the game and I didn't want to be out in the real world either.  I reached this 4 way stop in this residential area.  The speed limit is 25 in this area.  Both streets have two lanes, one for each direction.  Normally, I make a full stop at stop signs and then proceed through the intersection after about one second.  Of course, I check both directions as I'm doing so.

This time, I delayed for longer than I ever do at a stop sign.  I don't exactly why and I've tried to replay that memory countless times since then.  Maybe I stopped longer was I wasn't in any rush.  I had no where to be.  Sure, I wanted to play the game, but I wasn't rushing to get back.  I had plenty of time to get to the ATM before 10PM and I knew I was just going to play the game nonstop when I got home.  Maybe, I could subconsciously hear the speeding car barreling 40-50MPH down a 25MPH residential street.  Maybe it was divine intervention.  For some people, that would be high on their lists of probably reasons.  For me, I deem that the least likely.  I would say that the random chance in the universe cause this particular chain of events to happen for me.  In some other parallel universe, I go through that stop sign after one second and things unfold differently for me there.

I remember just not wanting to proceed through that intersection at that moment.  I almost can't believe that's the way it happened, but I kept replaying what happened in my mind I truly believe that was the case.

As I'm sitting at the stop sign, this car comes barreling through the intersection at a high rate of speed.  The car spins out of control three houses down and hits a mailbox.  I remember something like the bumper falling of the car because a car that followed the speeding car hit something in the road and then noticed that there was a spun out car in the front lawn of the house. 

I remember that I couldn't move for a bit after seeing that car.  My car was just stopped at the stop sign.  I was there for like 20-30 seconds as I remember watching the second car coming to the stop sign and going through the intersection.  I was going to check on the guy but I called 911 first.  The person in the second car had already gotten out and there was a guy walking near the intersection that was on the phone too.  Normally, I  would have stopped and watch everything unfold but I didn't want to let my account overdraft. 

Later, as I was coming back, I saw the street was blocked off.  I was going to stop and watch what happened but I didn't because my hair was all messed up.  Since I hadn't left the house in weeks, my hair had been growing in all directions.  I was in the middle of giving myself a haircut but my trimmer ran out of charge.  I had a half shaved head and was embarrassed to walk around.  I thought about asking if they needed a witness to the accident, but I had told the dispatcher what I saw.  I figured the police could look up my number from the 911 center and contact me if they really needed me. 

I never looked up what happened.  I assume the guy was drunk and spun out of control.  I'm sure he got a well deserved DUI charge for that.  I was never contacted but I didn't expect to be contacted as no one was injured except the driver I believe. 

What could have happened:
I know that I had a brush with death because I've seen videos of what happens in a side impact.  Side impacts are about the worst accident you can get into.  A head-on collision is bad for obvious reasons, but you have the airbag and seat belts designed to protect you for such a collision.  Newer cars have side airbags to prevent injury in side impacts but my old car does not.  I remember reading that a side impact crash with no air bags usually results in injuries resulting in paralysis or death.  If I had been hit by that car, best case scenario would be that I'd be in a wheelchair. 

It's ironic that I thought about dying because I hated my life at the time and that I almost got my wish...

I think about those moments at the stop sign and I realize how dumb it is to ever entertain such thoughts.  There are so many more things that I want to do and experience in my life before it's over.  Life might have been bad for me, but I have to believe I can always make things better. 

As I write this, things are better.  I started talking to my friends again but I still have to reach out to a few more and I'm working on that.  I have some new direction on my life and I'll expand on that in future entries.  Oh, and yes, I'm sarging again and that's helped me feel better too.

When things get tough, I remind myself about what happened.  My life could be drastically different or be nonexistent if it weren't for a few seconds.  I tell myself that everything I've experienced since then and everything I experience now is a gift.  I'm lucky that I'm even able to have these moments and I try to appreciate them whether they are good or bad. 

Getting through your own personal hell

Getting through your own personal hell

I always wonder what happens to the people in the blogs I follow occasionally when they stop posting.  Did they just get sick of the actual act of blogging their life?  Did their life change?  Of course, people's lives always change, but I wonder if they followed through on the journey they laid out in their blog or if they decided to prioritize things differently in their lives. 

When I disappear, it's usually a bad sign for the events in my life.  I believe I've said before that I could just omit negative things about my life, but that's not how I do things.  I could write that things have been going great.  I'm picking up girls all the time.  I could be less extreme and just start posting field reports like nothing happened. 

The title describes what happened.  In a way, I feel like I'm being too dramatic.  I've seen enough crazy stuff.  I know some of the real hardships that others around have gone through and are experiencing right now.  I've been around the world and know that people in say, a third would country, would dream to have the conveniences and opportunities that I have in my life.  On the other hand, I feel like I'm accurately describing what happened.

It's like I forgot all the lessons I've learned about life and just spiraled completely out of control.  I knew I was headed in a direction that was going to just lead to more pain yet I continued on the path.  At times, it was willingly, and perhaps, at times,  I was no longer in control.  Fortunately for me, what I went through is nothing that can't be reversed. 

I lost the belief that I could do the things I wanted to do in my life.  I then escaped into a comfort that I've gone to in the past.  Some people do drugs.  I escape reality by living a virtual life in Northrend.  For those that don't know what that means, I escaped into World of Warcraft.  I just played it nonstop and stopped talking to people at all.  I was depressed and just wanted to escape my life and of course I just became more depressed by doing this. 

This went on for about three months.  I finally asked my mother to come out here and help me straighten things out.  It was just the game as everything seemed out of control.  I felt like I couldn't do anything more in life.  I even got the point where even the game wasn't fun anymore. 

As I right this, all that seems so distant.  I'm much better now.  Back then, I wondered how I could go on.  How could I find the will to do anything and how could I find pleasure in things again?  Now, I think about how I could even feel the way I did back then and how I could just surrender. 

Maybe I am bipolar but I see what the medication does to people.  I've been told that the meds dull everything.  The only meds I've ever been on were antidepressants a long time ago and I hated that it did hurt my sex drive.  I remember that actual therapy of talking through some of my problems and learning about building self esteem helped me more than the meds. 

It's going to sound crazy, but I swear that learning about sarging has helped more more than any of that.  I've mentioned it before and I'm saying it now.  The very act of being social and talking to women makes me feel good.  Beyond that, I learned to believe in myself.  I learned that I need to find my own way in life and not seek others approval as the focus of my life. 

Anyway, I'm back and hopefully I would lapse into that dark place again.  It's been over two years since my last episode so I gotta believe I'm progressing. 

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The rest of Saturday night

The rest of Saturday night

I went out with some college friends to see "Hot Tub Time Machine" and I dragged along one of my MLTR's.  Well, that's not entirely accurate considering she's my only LTR, but I'm working on developing that deep conversation girl into one, and of course every night I'm looking to add a new one.  We went to a nearby bar after the movie.  I danced and kissed my girl but unfortunately, I could go home with her tonight.  Her mom was at her place and she had to drive her around Sunday so I couldn't get her to come out to my place.  Warcraft might have been right when early in the night he told me to pull her out of there right then and go to my place.  If I left the club early, she might have come over.  I was a little frustrated when I was driving her home but I shouldn't have been.  I know I'm going to have sex with her soon.  She might even stop by Sunday depending on how many errands she has to run.  If I see her in the week, it's almost certain.  Besides, I probably wouldn't have performed well today considering I watched too much porn Friday. 

Keep sarging:

I dropped her off.  I could have just gone home but I've come to appreciate the late bar closing on Saturday night in Chicago.  I dropped her off just after one so I had 3-4 hours to make something happen.  I went back to the original bar as my friends were still there but we left before I opened anything.  A friend and I went to Division.  That's where that bday girl wanted me to kiss her and/or her friends. 

Hot Spanish Girl:
Late in that bday set, I was dancing near the friend that ended up being cold to me.  I had noticed these Spanish girls and was attracted to this tall one.  I thought about opening her but I didn't do it as I told myself I was still working on the bday friend.  Well, as I'm dancing, this song comes on that the tall Spanish girl likes and she starts dancing with me.  When stuff like this happens to me it amazes me still. 

Unfortunately, some Indian guy ruined things.  As I was dancing with the tall girl, the friend was nearby.  I was thinking about dancing with her too so I'd be on my way to having all the friends like me when this Indian dude started trying to dance with her.  My tall girl grabs the friend to rescue her and walks away.  I knew I was busted out so I tried to get her attention after that but she was in shut down mode and didn't respond.  I probably should have approached them again but I ended up changing venues. 

Jealousy:

I just remembered some minor thing that happened.  When I was talking to bday friend, these cute girls were next to us at a table.  One of the girls kept trying to hand her purse to a friend to have her hold it for her, but the friend kept refusing.  When she did it a third time, I said to them, "Hey, if no one wants it, I'll take it."  The giggled and started talking to me but then the bday friend shoved me as she got jealous and wanted my attention.

Instant wings and a big mixed set:
I went next door to this Irish bar.  That place is usually so busy that you can barely move.  For some reason, it was really slow when I got there.  I took a piss and then started chatting with some random dude as I didn't want to leave and I didn't want to look like I was just loitering.  Nearby were some hot girls.  It was clear they were with the guys at the table they were near but I kept lusting over this 6ft+ blonde.  Damn! 

Anyway, as I'm talking to the random dude, some other guy in a sweater came by.  He was talking about how he tried to get some number next door at the bar I just left.  I told him that I need a wingman.  There's nothing in back, so we went to the side area.  We noticed three girls and two guys talking to them at the time.  I told him I was going to open and he should come in after like 2-3 minutes.  He said it looked like the girls were with the guys.  At the time, I didn't think they were.  I thought it was a pickup.  I went and approached this cute, petite brunette.  She was responsive at first but then started to ignore me in favor of talking to her blonde friend.  As I was talking to her, though, the other dudes looked at me.  It seemed like they were trying to tool me at first. I just used the subtle AMOG line, "Hey man, you're a cool guy.  Having fun?"

Some dude asked why my shirt was purple.  As it was a silk shirt, I said, "I killed a giant spider and made this shirt out of it."  That was an example of Mystery's old idea of, "Always have a better answer ready."  I was surprised how I just came up with it spontaneously. 

I decided to leave because my target was cold to me and one of the dudes kept telling me about her supposed boyfriend.  Perhaps this was weak of me.  I guess I could have kept trying.  Well, maybe not.  I reengaged her several times before I finally gave up. 

It's funny that as I was saying by to everyone, including the guys, the one dude that originally tried to tool me was disappointed I was leaving and said he wanted me to hang out more.  

After I leave that set, I found my instant wing.  He said he got scared to approach but said he thought I was doing fine.  I tried to get him to come to another bar but he said he had to stay with his friend.  I ended up going to the original bar to scoop my friend up. 

I've got this:
That's what I should conclude after tonight.  Some cool stuff happened in less than 3 hours after I came back to the bar after dropping off my LTR.  I keep thinking about that tall Spanish girl.  I know I"m going to be more confident to approach the girls I really want.  I believe that I'm finally being that attractive guy to girls that I've always wanted to be.  TD would say that's enough but cool stuff like a girl you're attracted to opening you does give you extra confidence. 

I'm hoping G wants to go out Sunday night.  I want to go out sober and sarge with him.  

That reminds me that today was sober sarging.  I had two beers the entire night and that was earlier with my LTR.  I had zero drinks when I went out to Division. 

Why don't you stop talking and just make out with someone already

Why don't you stop talking and just make out with someone already

Those were the words that this birthday girl uttered to me on Division.  Here is one of those moments where I show I'm still not congruent to the image I'm portraying.  When she said this to me, I hesitated, and then I put my arm around her and kissed her on the forehead.  She then told me, "I'm seeing someone or I would.  You are cute."  She motioned for me to kiss her friend but it didn't seem right. 

I'm sure the birthday girl would have kissed me if I just looked into her eyes and kissed her right after she told me that.  It's too bad she was the one that was into me.  I worked the friend and she liked me a bit.  I even number closed her.  Later when the birthday girl and another friend left, I hung around and she eventually gave me the cold shoulder. 

There were too problems with the friend.  First, I probably frustrated her but not escalating more.  Maybe I should have listed to the birthday girl and kissed the friend.  I remember when bday girl told me to kiss the friend, I put my arm around her and told her that the bday girl wanted me to kiss her.  She didn't object and I'm thinking now that I should have just went to kiss her.  Instead, I just looked at her and the bday girl ended up kissing the friend on the lips briefly. 

I wanted to say that the second problem was that these girls were cute but were overweight.  Sure, at this point, the hot girls seem to respond better to me. I actually don't go for these type of sets that often except that they seemed to be the best set to approach at the time.  Besides, I believe the only rating system is a binary one.  If you'd hook up with the girl, then you should sarge her.  These girls had cute faces and I wanted to hook up with them. 

No, it's clear that the main problem was I hesitated to escalate when a girl basically blurted out for me to do it.  I feel like I keep writing the same reports here. 

I think part of the problem was that I still haven't completely gotten out of the old mindset that I developed from learning how to sarge.  As RSD Ozzie says, I keep overgaming girls.  When I'm on, these girls want to make out with me in 5-10 minutes or even less sometimes and I still haven't accepted that it can now happen that fast for me.  It's time to start believing and acting...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Where are these sexual adventurous women? They are out there...

I didn't go sarging Friday. I'm sorting through some shit that I don't feel like posting about. Besides catching up on some shows, I watched "Fight Club" again. What a great movie... I also discovered this new blog http://www.nympho-girl.com/ . I found it through nakedloftparty.com.

In one of the comments on one of her crazy sexual stories, some random guys says he wishes he could meet a girl like her. She responded by saying "They are out there."

In her description of herself, she admits that some of the stories are exaggerated. Still, I believe she's as wildly sexual as the blog implies. My personal take is that she makes the sex sound more dirty and porno-like that it really is. What I mean is that there is no way she's taking anal creampies from random strangers. It sounds wilder to include those details but I hope and bet that she's probably using condoms. Lex on nakedloftparty includes details of how condoms are utilized in his story and I don't think it makes them any less exciting. My take is that she think it's wilder to tell the stories without the safe sex deatils and I suppose I can't disagree as I find the stories very stimulating.

Those who know me and have followed this blog know that I find this woman exciting. Where many guys would label her bad names, I actually want a sexual adventurous woman. I like a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality and doesn't mind exploring it and hooking up with random guys or girls. Believe it or not, I actually don't want an inexperienced girl who's going to give me vanilla sex.

The question, then, is where are these girls?!

I thought about this and I realized that I'm sure I've met many in time sarging. I've opened thousands of girls and I have to have met girls with crazy sex stories that excite me to no end.

I'm not congruent yet...
That's the problem. I only was exposed to what I'm looking for once. That was just after New Years when I met that girl that wanted me to have sex with her while her guy friend watched. She was open to the idea of doing a 3-way. Remember that I lost buying temperature because she took far too long to find the guy and introduce me to him and nothing ever happened.

Most of the girls I've met probably don't realize that I have this crazy sexual side hiding inside. My problems with sarging lately are that I haven't been expressing my sexual side and I haven't been escalating fast enough.

I'm going to meet these wild girls when I get in alignment with my sexual side. When girls meet me now, I still come across at the fun, entertainer guy. I need to turn that corner and act on all the attraction that I get when I'm out. When I get to the point where I'm escalating smoothly and quickly, I'll find that I'll be getting make outs with more girls, and I'll be pulling girls out of the club more often. With my escalation and vibe, the girls will start to see me as the sex worthy guy. To use TD's old term, I'll be seen a member of that "secret society." I'll be the guy that doesn't count. The girls will realize that I don't judge them for being sexual unlike your average guy. I'll be the guy who will help them live out their fantasies and explore their sexuality.

Those girls like NympohGirl in that blog I linked are out there and I'm going to get them comfortable enough with me to reveal themselves.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Wing almost pulled, Drunken Sarging and over-escalating

I feel like it was a good thing that happened tonight. I've been doing too much drunken sarging lately. I guess part of me believed I gamed better, but now I'm sure I don't. Tonight, I just might not have had success because there weren't that many sets out, but it's not a bad thing to blame it on being drunk either. I can contrast that with my sober night Sat and see that I can sarge well sober.

Too much caveman according to the waitress:
We stopped at this one bar. I remember being wasted. We had just left some other bar where I sarged some Polish girl to no avail. I walked in and immediately opened this seated two set that was the only set in the bar. I remember kino escalating quickly. Then, I remember the waitress taking a drink order from my wing and then telling me that maybe I should lay off the girl I was working.

I tried talking to my wing about it at the end of the night but he was too tired to give me a real answer.

I remember feeling really down when that waitress said that to me. If anything, I don't escalate fast enough. To be told that I was escalating too fast was shocking. I was actually sad for awhile because the last thing I want to do is make a girl uncomfortable and that fear is what holds me back from escalating fast enough when the girl really likes me.

At first, G was telling me it's a good thing to just chill, but he still says that sometimes because he still doesn't like the instant opening I do. I think he started to see that what the waitress said really bothered me so he tried to make me feel better by saying that the fat waitress was just jealous. Who knows what really happened?

She probably knew we didn't know the girls and felt like pointing out that I was moving to fast. I know I was sarging didn't make any strong objections or I know I would have stopped.

Sarging solo 'cause G found a girl:
We got to Division Street and went into this really busy bar. There were a bunch of college kids there. I remember that G and I went into the bathroom. When I came out, I couldn't find him. I ended up seeing him on the dance floor with some girl. That motivated me to try to open girls. I opened a bunch and tried to pull them on the dance floor. At that point, I could tell my game was sloppy. I got some interest from a few girls but couldn't maintain it. Later, I remember talking to this cute, but overweight black girl. I was getting IOI's but nothing really happened.

That bar cleared out around 2:30am even thought it was a 4am bar so I walked to our usual hangout. I immediately worked on this 3-set. I like this chubby brunette with glasses. I remember that my verbal game wasn't going anywhere with her, though this Croatian guy thought she liked me.

I think I messed up with picking the wrong target here. As I was talking to HBglasses, her friend who was wearing this hat came up to me twice and started grinding on me. She and the third friend were dancing near the table even though the dance floor was on the other side of the bar. I tried to get HBglasses to dance but she didn't want to.

Later on, the girls moved to the dance floor area. I saw my girl out there so I tried dancing with her. She told me she wanted to dance by herself. When she took a break, I started talking to her again. Suddenly, this black dude pulls her on the dance floor.

At this point, the Croatian guy that I had chatted with earlier encourages me to plow. I gotta give him props for that. He was right. I went out there and grabbed her hands and tried to dance. The problem was I'm used to club music and they were playing some Latina music and some other older music that I wasn't dancing to properly. HBglasses decided to give me lessons. I figured this set wasn't going anywhere because I was now being the student here but I tried to maintain by frame by saying, "I like to lead but you can show me here how to dance."

The lights came on as it was almost closing time. I tried to suggest hanging out again and she said we probably weren't going to. I then tried dancing with the friend that seemed interested in me, but she knew that I was only trying to talk to her then because my target had left.

G:
I had texted G that I had moved to this bar. I saw him walk in with the same girl in tow from the other bar. I remember I tried to bring HBglasses over to him. I got a big indicator of disinterest from HBglasses when I lead her over there. I grabbed her hand and lead her there and she let go after a few steps. She was still following but she told me I didn't need to hold her hand. We get there and G's making out with his girl so I don't interrupt them.

I remember seeing him at the end of the night. I could see G and the girl outside through the window. He looked like he was #closing her. I text him a message telling him to try to pull her! I don't think he needed the advice. I saw him get into a cab with her. I thought he was going to pull her!

He called me about 15 minutes later saying he was back home and messed up the pull. He said she lived near him. They were making out in the cab but she didn't feel comfortable going to his place. He admitted that he might have made a mistake in not giving her the BS excuse to go there. I had told him earlier in the night that we should sell his Afghan pictures to sets but he wasn't too enthusiastic about it. When I got back to his place at the end of the night, he admitted that the pictures might have been a good idea.

He was mad at himself for not getting the girl to his place. I told him he should be happy he got that far.

No more drinking:
I said this after my sangria filled night but I mean it this time. I'm not hungover or anything but I know it's stupid to be out drinking all the time. I sarge better sober. I might have done better at the bar with the college girls if I had been sober.

It also bothers me that I might have overescalated. I shouldn't be too hard on myself though. Ozzie says the only way to learn calibration is to fuck up your escalation a bunch of times. If I really am going to try to kiss close every set, then I'm going to have some more awkward moments that some fat waitress telling me to slow down.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sometimes, you can do your best and the situation is just not right

G and I were talking on the way home. I think he made a great point. In addition to talking about giving his best effort, he explained that there was nothing more he could have done in his set. He said this tall, thin brunette really like him. Unfortunately, she was this shorter brunette. HBshort was there with her boyfriend and some guy friend that we figured she was trying to hook up with the tall brunette. G mentioned something about the girl feeling bad that she was ignoring the dude.

On a sidenote, those dudes they were with were totally lame. I now realize how stupid I used to be when I sat there and didn't want to go on the dance floor. I still don't really know what I"m doing on the dance floor but it sure is a hell of a lot better to get out there than not. Also, this guy situation reminds me of some thread on RSD. In some ways it's frustrating when you see the guys some of these hot girls are with. They had the benefit of meeting them through some social connection and were able to get the girl probably with repeated interactions. It's just frustrating that you can have way better cold approach sarging skills than some guy but he'll still have the hot girl due to some lucky situation.

Anyway, G just analyzed that his situation was bad. If that girl had been out with a different friend, or had just been out with that HBshort and HBshort's boyfriend, the situation would have been way easier.

When I told him about my situation, he said that maybe there was nothing more I could have done. He said that maybe he could have worked more on the HBBeer's friend. I told him that he had done a great job stopping them and opening them in the first place. I told him that he had worked on her but it was unfortunate that the fiance was in the venue with her. There wasn't much more that he could have done.

I agreed with him that we were hurt by some bad luck here. I thought about some of the stuff I hear from PUA guru's that had me thinking. I thought about how RSD Tim has talked about having a girl walking towards his hotel only to have a friend pop out of nowhere to sweep her away. Sometimes you can't win over the cockblock. If it happens to them, then why shouldn't we think that we could also be in an winnable situation.

Imagine if G's tall brunette and HBBeer had been friends instead:
That's how luck can help you too. If HBBeer had been friends with his tall brunette, then they probably would be over here at my place right now. We would have had two girls that were both into us and at high buying temperature. Instead of cockblocks, we would have had girls that would have let each others buying temperature rise.

The venue was slow:
Barleycorn had a ton of sets but we had to leave there. Also, there were a ton of dudes there and a bunch of sets with boyfriend. Caddy was a little slow. At Caddy, we worked all the sets we possibly could and took them as far as our abilities allowed us. It would have been nice to find a two set we could work together as a team, but we just didn't have that at the venue.

Bottom line is once again, I think we both gave 100% effort and we should be happy with that. We both learned some lessons and the future is bright!

HB bear hugged me on opener and later I have to grind her with a guy and pull her off him!

I think G summed up are evening well on the way back from Cadillac Ranch. He said that he used to play high school football and tonight he felt like he did after a good game. He felt that he gave his full effort in sarging and despite us not pulling any girls, he had fun and felt content. I saw G really turn himself on in a way I haven't seen in awhile. To start off, he opened a set at Barleycorn before I even did which is hard to do. Then, at Caddy, I saw him open these two hot brunettes on dance floor and start dancing and grinding with them. He was even instrumental in something crazy that happened to me tonight.

As for me, I felt like I had given my full effort too. As you'll see in this report, I made the extra effort in situations where I would have just given up in the past. At Barleycorn, after we got upstairs, I forced myself to open sets that I would have shied away from in the past. I'm talking about sets where I see girls that I found really hot. In the past, I would have told myself, "Naw, I don't want to do that set as they are too hot for me." Tonight, I went and opened them.

Barleycorn was more of a warm up as we didn't spend that much time there. Herschey was out with us for a bit but he had to get home early. The highlight of Barleycorn was when I opened this cute, but slightly chubby, blonde. I felt I had her state pumped right away so I moved her to the dance floor. I ended up losing her there. The lesson I think I learned is that I need to pull them there for a few songs and then pull them off. Plus, she might have been engaged as I remember feeling a ring when I was spinning her on the dance floor.

Did you know they were trying to save me from you?
This hot brunette stated the obvious to me. I opened this 2-set that had this really cute brunette with a pale face. She was a cool chick who even recognized that my cats are ragdolls. The set tried to shit test me at the beginning. They tried telling me they were lesbians and they even kissed in front of me. I just laughed. I chatted with the group and then focused on my target.

At one point, the two other girls said that they were going outside. They asked her if she wanted to come. She told them she was fine and she stayed with me. Of course, I recognized what happened but for some reason she verbalized what I already knew, "Did you know they were trying to save me from you but I didn't let them?"

Obviously that's a huge IOI. The friend eventually came by and G happened to walk up at the same time. He did a great job with the friend. She was pleasant but cold to me but by the end of the brief interaction, he had gotten her to open up. My target thought we were really cool guys and she offered to help hook us up with any of the girls at the bar. As she said that, her phone rang and I could tell she was talking to someone at the venue as she said, "Are you here?" Some dude walked up. It was obviously her boyfriend and it all made sense with what she was saying.

Still, I have to admit it feels great to get evidence of your PUA skills. Ultimately, you're supposed to believe in your value and just put yourself out there and not care about the outcome, but it still feels good sometimes to have girls give you props like this one did.

HBBeer hugged me like a Teddy bear within 15 seconds of meeting her!:

How the hell can I not believe in myself when it seems like every night, I'm writing about some chick coming onto me almost instantly after I start talking to her?! Never in my dreams before I began this sarging journey would I have believed this stuff would happen to me! The crazy thing is that I realize that this is just the beginning. Even wilder stuff lies ahead and I believe that I'll have crazy fclose stories.

G and I were standing by this table and I saw a 2-set walk by me. G just stopped them somehow. I told him afterward how it's hard to stop moving sets like that. You have to really be alpha in your body language and voice to get a set to stop. G introduced me to the girl he stopped. I then introduced myself to the friend. She heard my name wrong and I corrected her and told her my usual, "It's Teddy. Picture a Teddy Bear by my face and you'll never forget my name!"

She then lunged at me and gave me a really strong hug and she said, "Oh, Teddy. Like a Teddy Bear I can hug!"

Obviously, I can tell it's on. I remember holding her hand and maintaining strong eye contact with her. I talk to her for a bit and I remember her telling me that they were there for her friend's fiance's birthday. Whoops! I guess G picked the wrong girl. I remember telling HBBeer that I like her energy and I spun her around. She was really into it and then she tried to come close to me after the spin. I think she was trying to hug me again. I didn't expect it and she ran into my drink and half of the beer spilled on her shirt.

I know some girls would have been really pissed and made a big scene. HBBeer was totally cool. I laughed at first and then apologized. I ran to the bar and grabbed some napkins and starting wiping her dry. She thanked me and then I told her, "You know that that was your fault?" She agreed and then saw my beer. "Is that what's left of your beer? Let me get you another one."

I told her that she could get me one later. We started talking briefly but then the friend starting walking away saying they had to grab a smoke. HBBeer claimed she would be back but I knew how club game works.

Cockblock friend must be trying to hook her up with this other guy:
I told G to look out for the girls as I'm not very observant and I know I'll miss them. He pointed out that they were out on the dance floor grinding with some dudes. At the time I was like, "Fuck! That was on. What do I do?" I thought about it for like ten seconds and then I realized that I had to try to pull her off that dude.

We opened some more sets. Nothing really clicked. I saw HBBeer and the friend on the stage. I decided to get on the dance floor so I'd be in state and so I could plan my move. Later, I see them come off and she's dancing with this dude again.

Yes, I started grinding on her trying to pull her off the dude:
I wrote that "I'm beginning to believe" in an earlier blog entry. I almost amaze myself when I think about the confidence I had to do what I ended up doing on the dance floor. I think part of it due to that "fury" RSD Tim says he gets from blowouts, and also from when he totally desires a girl.

I saw her dancing with the guy. I walked up and I grabbed her hand. I said her name and turned her towards me. The guy wasn't a total chode because he didn't just give up. My theory is that she was some social circle friend that HBBeer's female friend was trying to hook her up with. The guy was really grinding her but I moved in and start grinding her too. He's behind her so he had my favorite dance floor position but I tried to do my best. I got close to her and am grinding her but at times I had to dodge his hands. He was moving his hands around her waist and if I hadn't been careful, my crotch would've rubbed up on his hands. I guess that could be an AMOG move to get him away but I didn't try it.

As I'm dancing I remember telling myself that I needed to show I'm more alpha that this guy. I decide to do that by spinning her. Also, I thought of Playersupreme's video: I had my arm one her shoulder and slightly around her back and the lower part of her neck. I started moving her body with how I felt the beat. I felt that she'd have to notice that dude was just along for the ride in this interaction and I was being more dominant.

Fergie's "Clumsy" might have been an appropriate song. I remember I spun her one time and she ran into me again. I just laughed. I finally got her to turn around. I had tried several times to turn her around but she'd think I was spinning her and she'd wind up facing me again. I liked when I had her facing him because I could grind her ass with my crotch. I gotta admit I'm starting to like that position a ton.

Victory snatched away by the cockblock friend:
I must have been doing something right because I eventually got her off the dude. (I got this feeling of content spreading throughout my body as I think about what I did on the dance floor. I need to access that part of me more often when I'm out. Though I was in a totally new situation, I felt like I was in the matrix. I could see what was going on. I knew what I had to do. I had the confidence and total belief that it was going to work, and it did.) I remember I spun her again, and I walked a few steps back. I had her really close to me and had my arms around her. The dude finally realized defeat and backed off.

Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to bask in my glory. Her friend comes again and pulls her away by saying they are going outside for a smoke.

Pulling her away from that guy and some new guy:

Right after I got cockblocked is when I saw G grinding up on this hot, thin brunette. He looked like the man when he was doing it and I felt like he had really turned on his game. I was going to go help him but I saw some other guy start working on the other girl. I worked some sets on my own.

Later, I saw HBBeer talking to two dudes. One of them was probably the dance floor guy but I wasn't totally sure as I really hadn't looked at his face when I was grinding with her and him. I walked up and pull her about fifteen feet away. I had my arms around her. I gave her some IOI about how I liked how much fun she was but wanted to get talk to her more. She tells me that she's leaving soon. I hate phone numbers but I decide to take it anyway. She checked to see if I spelled her name right and she confirmed the number so it could be real. I texted later on but I'll try calling it Sunday.

The Real Matrix Move:
I think I screwed that up. I thought she was leaving as she had her coat on. I feel like maybe that guy had better game than I thought as I saw her later on still talking to him. It was two guys though so I still don't understand that situation. Maybe it was some guy friends of her friend's fiance and that would explain why they had such an in. In some ways, I think my mistake was I never really got to befriend the engaged friend. I never really had a chance as the only other times I saw them after the initial interaction was on the dance floor.

Instead of taking the number, in retrospect, I see another alternative that would have been even trickier. I could have walked up to her and the two guys. Instead of trying to pull her away, I could have just come in and showed dominance over the two guys. That really would have pumped her state up. I can think of two paths there. One is that I could just run game on her with those dude standing there. I know that when I do it right, my voice and material just turns guys into spectator mode. I've done it by accident to my wings so I've seen that I have that affect. If the guys didn't just stand there in spectator mode, I could slightly tool them with the methods I know well. I could pat them on the back with the "Cool guy" line. I could use move overt TD AMOG lines. I could befriend the 2nd dude.

I actually like my move at the time because I just pulled her away and didn't have to deal with all that minefield BS. I really wished I didn't just settle for the number. When she said she was leaving, I mentioned going to Denny's but not very convincingly. As I'm finishing this section, I recognize that I could have just plowed through that. She told me she was leaving. I could have number closed her and just kept plowing with material until a friend literally pulled her away.

Final Thoughts:
I think I did the best I could in a complex situation. I did some crazy stuff that I wouldn't have done in the past. I can feel great about that. In the past, this field report would have been me talking about how I wished I would have done something more with HBBeer after she gave me those high buying temperature IOI's when I met her. I'm going to have more confidence after tonight in general when I'm out. Also, this will show up in some Groundhog day effect. What I mean is what I've mentioned in several entries in the past. These sarging situations inevitably repeat themselves. I always recognize how past situations gave me the experience to deal with the repeat situation correctly at some future point.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

I need to improve but maybe I'm too hard on myself

I've been thinking about the last two times I went out sarging. I've had some quick makeouts happen but then I write then I'm not escalating enough. I realize that I need to put things in perspective. Obviously I've improved and these things that have been happening to me are evidence of my improvement. I guess I try to blow off those makeouts because they weren't with the hottest chicks.

That's where I can improve. I can start having wild crazy times with the girls I really want. I'm doing most of the stuff right that I need to do. I just need a little more confidence to really escalate and I need to have that closer mentality.

As I was laying in bed last night, I was thinking that maybe I need to take on the old MM challenge of trying to kiss close every set. I find that I am spinning my wheels far too often. I think that forcing myself to go for kiss closes will help me to have a real goal in mind. Sure, I have the goal in the back of my head that I want to go home with the girl but I'm just slowly and sometimes not really going towards that goal. Kissing the girl and making out with her is the first step. I skip over opening and creating attraction as that happens automatically now.

If I work for the kiss close, I'm going to get busted out more often than if I just play it safe. So what? That's a good thing. I'm screening for the girls that are DTF now and I'll learn calibration. Sure, eventually, it would be good to learn to balance the sexual tension and kiss at the exact moments that will best lead to the SNL, but in the meantime I should just be kissing as quickly as possible to learn the skill set.

I still look upon this challenge with a little trepidation but I think the time is right. When I first heard of this kiss close challenge several years ago, it sounded totally crazy. I couldn't believe how it could even be possible. Now, I can see how it can happen and I actually hurt my chances by not making it happen more often.

40 year old wants to go home with me but I escalate too slowly

Tonight just flew by. I started off with some buzzed sarging in Lincoln Park. I front loaded three beers within 20 minutes and then I stopped drinking as I knew I was driving later. Of course, I was more agressive with opening when I'm buzzing. I was sarging this new bartender. It's rare for me to really talk to any of the staff and that's something I should work on in general. Another thing I did was early on, I was opening girls on the dance floor. I still need to work on that, but I'm slowly getting to the point where I'm starting to feel like it's no longer a big deal to open girls there.

I had a blast, but somehow, I was forgetting to actually get the girls. I know I'm being too much of an entertainer/party guy. I should be happy that I can do that as that's a step in the right direction but if I actually want to pull girls, I need to show more intent. That's one of RSD Tim's terms. I need to show the girls that I desire them. Part of that is kino. It about building that sexual tension. I probably should reread Gunwitch. I need to project some more sexuality.

The 40-year old I probably could have gone home with:
We wind up on Division and T meets me there. He opens this two set in our first bar. I see this older woman sitting by herself. When my wing is opening, I hate standing there pretending I'm playing with my phone or just doing nothing. I like to talk to other people. I high five her and start talking to her.

I immediately learn that she's drunk and she wants me. It's crazy. I've never had a woman paw at me so aggressively. She kept putting her arm around me, grabbing my hands, touching my face.

I felt as lost as I did in the past when girls opened me randomly. I didn't think it was real and I wondered if she was messing with me. Fortunately, that was only for a few seconds. I knew that I needed to start kissing her.

Suddenly, this dude comes up. She greets him. I had noticed there was a drink next to her. I say hi and talk to him for about 20 seconds. She's grabbing me as I'm doing this. I'm trying to figure out their relationship. It was weird. She said something like she's being nice to him or he's a friend. He doesn't seem to care that she's all over me so I turn my focus back on her.

I still wasn't completely comfortable with that guy there. I'm holding on hand of hers with my right hand. I start stroking her face and kiss her. I pull back right away.

I forgot to mention that I kept trying to get her to come dance. Perhaps I wasn't being alpha enough or she was too drunk as she wouldn't say anything when I'd mention going to the dance floor. I felt like I would have escalated if that dude wasn't there. Of course, as I write this, I realize I shouldn't have cared about him.

I remember I kissed her and I'm looking into her eyes. She says something like, "Let's get out of here." I say, "Okay" but then I lose confidence and say, "Yeah, let's get some food."

In some ways, that's a good thing to say. Girls often want you to give an excuse because they won't let themselves feel slutty by being so obvious. I can tell as I'm writing this that I miscalibrated. She wanted me to make this happen. I needed to really start making out with her and then pull her out of there.

She also almost fell off the bar stool. She was plastered and that bothered me a little bit.

After another minute or two, she got sick of me not escalating and basically shooed me away. Well, I also think she thought I was messing with her and she started to feel like she wasn't worthy to be with me. I feel weird typing that but I think about how she said, "There's some girls you can get with." She was pointing to this younger, hotter girls next to us.

WTF?!:
That's how I feel as I'm writing this report. That all happened so suddenly and so quickly. I do love how some random crazy shit happens to me when I'm sarging. She was older than me, but I would have hooked up with her. She was attractive enough. Heck, she probably was better looking that that married woman I kissed on Sunday.

I let the tall dude next to her bother me when I shouldn't have cared. Yeah, it was smart to talk to him and figure out the deal before I started escalating but after he didn't seem to care that this woman was all over me, I had to be a real man and start giving this woman what she wanted!

I think this situation just highlights what my problem is now. As I wrote above, I need to be more sexual and escalate more. This was an extreme case, but I definitely moved to slowly in many other sets tonight.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm beginning to believe

It turns out I read Latina Nurse correctly. For whatever reason, she wants me now, though that didn't prevent her from kicking me out instead of letting me sleep over. It's probably better this way anyway as I'll get better rest here at home.

Earlier on the evening, On the way to Latina Nurse's place, I set up a Day2 with this girl from awhile back. She was the one who flaked the day before I went up to Minneapolis for the Vikings game. That's how long ago that was. I actually had stopped texting her for awhile as I had been busy working on other girls. I text her on Sunday and her replies made it seem like she finally wanted to meet up. I called her and she picked up and we are supposed to meet on Friday. I think it's 50/50 whether she flakes or not, but I'm already prepared either way. I have some friends meeting me that Friday and I'm going to sarge after the Day2.

I feel like things are finally falling into place. The only problem is that meeting up with these girls takes too much time away from work. That's one reason why I want to get my SNL game down. After Sunday's breakthroughs, I think I'm going to continue to progress.

I titled this post with "I'm beginning to believe" as a reference to the movie "The Matrix." I finally am starting to believe in my PUA skills. I think back to that hot brunette I was dancing with Sunday and I believe I can have that now too. The change is that the quality of the girls I've been getting into my life hasn't be all that great. I began to believe I could get some girls, but now I believe I can get some really attractive girls too.

Let me just end this by saying if I develop my current prospects into some MLTR's, I can only imagine how much confidence I'm going to have when I'm out practicing cold approaching.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Spiritual connection?

..A few weeks ago, I talked about meeting a blonde when I was out in the suburbs with my friends. I met her right around closing time and we had a short conversation. I remember she seemed high buying temperature at the time and even then I felt like we had a deep conversation in that short time we talked. I took her number quickly as we all were getting rushed out of the bar as it was closed.

I didn't expect much to come out of it as that is the nature of night game. Sometimes, you think you have a connection with a girl and it turns out she was just drunk and doesn't even remember you.

I remember I texted her the first time and she asked something like, "Who is this?"

I passed that test and somehow, we started exchanging really long texts. We talked about some a lot of deep topics. I have less than five people that I can have these deep conversations about spirituality, life, and happiness so it was a pleasant surprise that this girl has become on of them.

Last night, we finally talked on the phone for the first time and we talked for over two hours. She reluctantly had to go as it was really late for her.

I'm hoping we can meet up in person soon. I don't see how sparks can't fly when we actually hang out.

Part of me didn't even want to write this entry. I suppose part of it is that irrational fear that I'm somehow going to jinx it by writing about it. I know that's not true though.

Maybe the real reason I haven't wanted to write about it is that both don't want to get my hopes up and hype this up for myself and I also don't want to get one-itis.

I know that the answer is I just have enjoy this for what it is so far and see what happens. I supposed it's okay to indulge the thought that there might be some deeper connection here. That's a feeling I haven't had in about a year and a half.

I'm still out there working other options and I think I'll avoid the dreaded PUA curse of one-itis. In fact, in just a few hours, I'm having dinner with Latina Nurse and I think this time she's done playing games. She actually calls me now and she picks up the phone just about every time I call. It's like something clicked in her head and now she wants me. I still suspect she might have been dating someone before. I suppose if things going the right way, I'll get the real story soon.

Drunken stupor: Kissed a married girl in less than 5 mins

..For most of Monday, I felt like shit from drinking too much. I didn't have a pounding headache. Instead, I just felt tired and a little dizzy. I started off at this birthday party. G and I drank copious amounts of sangria at this tapas place and then I had too many beers.

Touching some guys hand:
We started at Stanley's. I opened some sets but only had one longer set. I was talking to this girl when suddenly this guy put his arm around this girl. I didn't quite figure out their story. I'm guessing now that he must have seen me kino escalating and putting my arm around her. G noticed one time that I went to put my arm around her and I ended up touching this other guy's hand because I didn't realize it was there. The guy and I looked at each other weird and didn't say anything.

Dance floor game done better:
G convinced me to move to Division Street early. There were more people out that usual and some cute girls as we found out there was a Cosmetology convention in town. I was really drunk at this point but I still was coherent enough to remember most of what happened. I remember going out on the dance floor. There were three girls out there. Somehow I was dancing with this hot, short brunette. She was really adorable. I was grinding on her quickly. Her two friends were there so I pulled them in and started dancing with them. I guess it shows that deep down, I know what to do. When I'm sober, I just stop my self because I'm self conscious or fear what people think about me.

I must have been thinking too much about Saturday night because I then decided to get G's help. He was talking to some girl and I said, "Hey man. I need your help." He didn't want to come out so I found out later I grabbed his hand and pulled him out there. We laughed about that afterward but I didn't remember doing that. He started dancing with one of the friends and I went back to the brunette. He left shortly after.

I remember trying to escalate more with her than I did with the girls on Saturday. When I was grinding her, I started to blow on her neck and I kissed her neck. For some reason, I was chicken to actually turn her around and kiss her on the lips.

Kissing a married chick in under 5 mins:
This is where I went wrong, and I'm not talking in terms of morality though I'm sure many would have a problem with what happened. I'm talking purely in terms of game. It was on with that cute brunette and I should have tried to make something happen. Instead, I left the dance floor when the friends pulled her away from me instead of trying to win them over or instead of going back. Honestly, I would have gone back if the following didn't happen.

I see G talking to a brunette so I start talking her friend. It's this overweight blonde that's cute and who I found attractive enough to have sex with which is all that matters anyway. Being drunk, I don't remember what I said exactly. I remember her mentioning that she was married. Then, I remember a minute or two later being close to her face. I remember just feeling like it was right to kiss her and being totally drunk, I didn't hesitate and just went to kiss her. I remember that she was into it. I pulled back and then went in and kissed her again. She was a good kisser. We starting making out. I pulled back again and then went back in. I stopped again and I think she started to feel guilty because she said she had to go to the bathroom. She told me she'd be back. I didn't see her come back.

Blackout:

I think I remember telling G what happened. I thought about going back to the brunette but I waited for the blonde. Then G told me that someone stole his jacket. What a shitty night at that particular bar for G... He suggests we go to the bar across the street that's hopping place on Sunday.

This is when I started to black out. I remember dancing with this fat black girl near the end of the night. I remember the lights coming on and then my next memory is seeing G's couch and lying down. The next thing I know, I wake up on the couch. Then, I fall asleep and wake up and realize it's morning. I rushed outside because I knew I was in a tow zone and fortunately I was able to move it to a spot a few cars back that was legal and free for the whole day. I then went back to G's.

What I learned from G:

It's so odd for me to drink so much that I blacked out. I've only done that once or twice. I didn't even do that at New Years and I thought I drank more that night. It amazes me when G tells me that we were watching a movie for a bit when we got back. No memory of that. I then asked him what I was saying in the cab ride back because I'm curious what I do when I'm totally blasted. He said I kept rocking back and forth and saying, "Oh man. I think I drank too much," and "I'm really drunk!"

That sounds familiar. I heard similar reports from the few others times I've been overboard drunk.

I learned that we (that's what he says, but I say he did it all) venue changed a set from The Lodge to the bar where I blacked out. I remember we talked to a 2-set. I specifically remember him playing this bowling game where you use a puck. I remember talking to the friend but I don't remember moving them. I think he might have told them we were going to the other bar and we saw them there. I actually remember he was talking to some girl at the blackout bar. He says I was talking to the friend and the friend told him she thought I was cool. I totally don't remember that.

He actually said that if both hadn't been so drunk, we probably could have pulled them back to his place but he settle for a phone number.

"You inspired me."
I got a huge compliment from G. He hadn't really been sarging lately. I guess he had two regular girls for awhile that made him lazy to go out and then he felt bad after he lost them and that's why he didn't go out Saturday. He said that when he saw me out there opening sets and just having fun and not worrying or caring about the outcome, he said he got inspired. He forced himself to open a few sets himself. He also said being out with me that night has him excited about going out sarging again. He vowed to work on day game like he used to and to really work on his game. Besides, he's leaving for Afghanistan in a month so he might as well live it up and he shouldn't worry about girl rejecting him.

Reference points:
I don't want to drink again like this. I ended up not putting in hours on Monday because I felt like shit. I'm glad I had this night because I learned two things that are going to help me when I'm out sarging sober. I was more aggressive and confident in my dance floor kino. I think I'll do better the next time I'm dancing because I see I know inside what to do. I just have to not talk myself out of it and just be in the moment.

Most importantly, I got to see evidence for myself that you really can kiss girls faster than you think is even possible. Tonight was the fastest I've kissed a girl in a club. I've recognized times in the past when it could have been this fast or faster, but I chickened out. Recognizing this was the first step. Now that I've actually done what I know I'm supposed to do, I think I'll have more confidence that I can read the right moments and I'll kiss girls more often and faster.

This is the first time I've kissed a married girl too. Normally, I would have heard that and probably left. It's crazy that I ended up making out with her. It makes me realize that I must be really good at this for that to be possible. Also, if some married girl will kiss me, why should I fear that some single girl that I can feel is attracted to me is going to reject me. It makes no sense and I think I'll start doing the right thing and kiss the girls that I recognize like me. Lately, as I've said over and over here, I've been finding myself in situations where there girls bombard me with IOI's and I don't pull the trigger.

I really think Sunday night will end up being a big turning point in my game.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

This "success in sarging" has to happen

..I'm about ready to go to bed. It's my new mantra I repeat to myself. "This has to happen." As I wrote in the title, it means "success in sarging." In other words, hooking up with girls, and just having fun experiences when I'm out in the field.

Again, I'm thinking about the night and of course I feel that bit of frustration, but I start smiling because I have absolute faith that my game is going in the right direction. Heck, my life is finally going in the right direction. I haven't even written about that other stuff here. I'm dedicated again to work, I'm increasing my mileage in my running program, and I'm even watching what I eat and my clothes are fitting better.

Sarging is when I really feel alive, though. When I'm on a hot streak at work and when I'm having a good run on a beautiful day are probably a close second.

I just think back on where I started in this game and I'm just amazed at what happens to me now when I go out. I still consider these one or two day a week outing to be practice. I'm looking forward to summertime when I hope to be going out at least three times a week and having consistent practice with my wings.

I just don't see how I'm not going to see the success I'm looking for and I supposed that means that I'm finally gaining the confidence and inner game that I've lacked in sarging.

I'm going to be having some incredible experiences this summer and the girls I meet will have an awesome time too.

Cheers!

Raging brush fire state & Margarita girl

..What happened with the 2-set was frustrating, but I didn't give up. I remember being all sweaty from dancing and going to the bathroom. I washed my face off and dried my face and walk out. As I'm walking along the hallway, some brunette was walking with a guy and she looked right at me and said, "Hi!"

?

That's what I thought when it happened. Now, I realize that I must have been in the "raging brush fire" state as RSD calls it. It was the physical exercise from dancing so much and grinding on two hot girls. I was just in that zone where the girl saw something attractive beaming from me that made her want to open me.

I opened a few sets that didn't go anywhere. Then I opened this mixed 3-set with two girls and one guy. They knew each other from Indiana University. The cute brunette was giving me huge IOI's. We were having a good conversation when a big group of friends showed up. I met this cool guy who just moved to the area with Kansas City. I talked with him and went to meet the two girls he's with. The set stalls out and I end up leaving though perhaps I could have went back in and worked that brunette but she was talking to the new friends.

Colorado blonde:

I met this cool blonde from Colorado. We had a good conversation. I thought it was on. The only mistake I think I made was I again was hesitant with the kino. Well, I did a little bit but I remember we were having this moment of deep understand with something I was saying. I put my hand on top of her hand. She seemed fine with it but then I pulled it off. That was weak. I do that too often. Thinking back, I should have put my hand on top of her hand. When she didn't resist and seemed comfortable, I could have transitions to holding her hand. I would have been holding her hand and looking her into the eye as we had that moment and it would have been more powerful.

She was in this big set, but I had a little bit of isolation with her as the other friends were talking. I guess I should have moved her to the bar. I did a few half effort moves to get her to come upstairs but it didn't work. I should have just told her to come to the bar and say "I want to show you something." Since we were still at her table though, a friend showed up. They started talking. I joined in the conversation but I could feel like I had lost my moment.

Another problem with this set is that she was leaving the next day. That's another reason I should have isolated faster and escalated faster. I was moving in slow motion here when I needed to be in fast forward. I tried one more time to get her upstairs but she told me they were going to find some other friends and "maybe they'd find me up there." I knew it was a blow off. This set had some possibilities earlier but I hadn't sealed the moment.

Margarita girl?:

I went right upstairs. This was when I decided to see if the original 2-set was still here. They were gone unfortunately. I figured that was the case. If I really had wanted to find them, I should have done so way earlier but I figured I'd at least make some effort. I was walking by the window area when I spotted this tall girl. She's not hot but she has a cute face and I like taller women regardless. She was a little bigger but not grossly overweight.

It's funny. I opened her and then we started dancing to some some right there. We were basically just dancing in front of each other. I talked some more. It looked like she's with two girls who have guys with them. I never quite figured out their stories. Early on, this dude tried to bust me out. I got introduced to a guy and girl and the guy tells me, "She has a boyfriend."

I just blew it off and kept talking to her. We talk about dancing and she said, "Why do you go show me how to dance over there?"

I feel dumb writing this now because the girl suggested the isolation move when I should be the one trying for the isolation. We danced in front of each other. She seemed to get really into the Pitbull song that has the lyrics "Uno, dos, tres." I tried getting up close to her and putting my hands on her hips but she seemed to be uncomfortable with that so I backed up. I guess it was because I should have gotten closer and closer. Then, put my hand on her shoulder, grinded a bit and then put my hands on her hips. As I'm writing this, I can picture that PlayerSupreme dance lesson video on Youtube. (BTW, I'm going to watch that again before I go to bed so I can learn something for next time.)

A Madonna song came on that she didn't like. I noticed this and used it as a reason to isolate her. I told her I want to go to the quiet bar area. She hesitates but I had finally gotten into the right alpha state at this point. I grabbed her hand and started leading her in that direction and she followed. (As I'm writing this, I recognize that is how I need to isolate girls. No more half effort, "Do you want to go upstairs?" I know that's wrong but I kept telling myself to isolate and then I'll blurt something out so I feel like I made an effort. I know that I need to wait for some high point in the conversation, and then just lead the girl like I lead this girl.)

I see an opening on the couch. I sit down and tell her to sit by me. She starts telling me that she needs to be by her friends. I tell her, "Don't worry, they won't leave behind you. We'll go back soon."

We talk for a bit but then she insists on going back and hanging out by her friends. I take her hand and lead her over there.

Let's get margaritas & Missing the moment for the kiss?
We chat some more by her friends. I tell her I want to see her again and decide to number close her. She seems like she does want to grab a margarita. She didn't know her number off hand so she grabbed her phone. I programmed my number in there and called myself so I'd have her number. It's funny, but I had forgotten her name so I had her spell it into my phone.

We talked some more and dance a bit. The lights then came on since it was closing time. I put my arm around her and told her that I really enjoyed meeting her. In my head, I was thinking that maybe I should make a kiss move. Her friends were making out with guys so she probably wanted to kiss. I hope I didn't screw up by missing my moment. Thinking back, I was looking into her eyes. I probably should have stroked her face and kiss her. Instead, I decided to go for the hug kiss. I hugged her. I then pulled back and looked into her eyes. It's felt right to kiss girls before at that moment, but it didn't feel right here so I didn't do it.

No, the moment was before that but maybe all is not lost.

I did try to venue change her. I felt her out for after hours or food. I put the suggestion out there but I didn't really sell it like I should have. I guess I failed to be a "true closer" as RSDHoobie defines it. I did just throw it out of there instead of hyping up the after hours place and really trying to get her to come somewhere else with me. Her two friends each had a guy so it might have been perfect for me to move them all somewhere.

I can blame it on lack of practice or whatever, but what I definitely need to take from this is that I need to be alpha and give a full effort all the way. I'll remember that Sunday night when I go out with G. 412

Venue changed 2 hotties in 2 mins, but stalled out on dance floor

..This was one of those nights where I both amaze myself and frustrate myself. I kept telling myself, though, that I have to give myself some credit. I went out by myself with no wings and had a blast.

Sidegames and I went into the city. We ate at this restaurant called DuChamps on Damen. It was on Chicago magazines list of the "Top 30 Burgers in Chicago." Duchamps is also a Rewards Network miles restaurant so I was excited to try their burgers. We had an 8pm reservation but it took almost an hour to get our table. Sidegames was pissed but the hostess was very apologetic. Finally, the manager came and I got a free beer out of the deal. My original plan was to catch the fight at Bourbon Street but since we got out of dinner so late, I decided to just try to hit this place in Lincoln Park that was showing the UFC fight. I got there just as the Mir-Carwin fight was starting. It was $10 cover but I decided to eat it since I wanted to see that fight live and the GSP fight.

I had two beers and enjoyed seeing Mir get his head pounded in. I gotta watch that again. After the GSP fight, I went to take a piss.

Hot 2-set:
I figured early on that I wouldn't be sarging at this bar with the fight as it was mostly guys. There were some girls but they were all in groups with guys. I figure not to many girls go to a bar that's showing a UFC fight. As I'm walking to the bathroom, though, I see this seated 2-set. I tell myself that I'm going to open them before I leave.

When I come back, some dude is talking to one of the girls. It figures. I go right in and start talking to the unoccupied girl. I decide she's my target (hereafter "HBpale"). I bet most guys would think the other girl is hotter. She had darker skin, though, and HBpale had pale skin. I love pale skin. Perhaps, my choice of targets lead to my demise later.

I amaze myself by how easily I open many sets. Sure there are some girls that were cold to me tonight, but many sets open right open like this one did. The dude is occupying the friend so I'm focusing on my target but he stalls out for a second. Naturally, I get introduced to the friend. The friend (hereafter "HByellow" for the dress she was wearing) is moving to the music. I tell her, "You look like you want to dance. There won't be much dancing here as you can see. This place next door is great because it has a great upstairs area that is basically one big dance floor."

She replies, "Cool, let's go."

Lol. I was surprised how easy this was but I kept my poker face. I smiled and agreed. They started gathering their things and the dude opened her again. I was already thinking that I needed a wingman so I tell her, "You should bring your friend over there."

She blows him off and tells me, "I told him he can meet us over there."

I lead them two bars down. Luckily there's no line. As I write this, I think I should have had these girls arm in arm so it looked like they were with me. It would have DHVed me to the bouncers for the future but it doesn't really matter.

I suck at dance floor but at least I try...

I suppose the title of this section is what I get out of what happened. I lead them to the middle of the dance floor. HByellow puts her purse down and they put their coats on top of the purse. I start moving to the music. We start dancing around the stuff. HByellow is a good dancer. She knows how to move her hips and do some cool moves. HBpale is just moving back and forth with the same moves like most girls do. I'm a little hesitant to start dancing with them for the usual reasons. I don't really know what I'm doing. I see HBpale is kind of rubbing her ass on this dude behind her so I start getting close to her. I press my body against her briefly and then back off and dance around our centerpiece.

Suddenly, this natural shows up and starts dancing with HBpale. Damn do I wish I had some moves. She's into it and he's grinding on her. HByellow is just dancing by herself so I figure I might as well start trying to grind her. I get up close to her and she's fine with it. I have to say that I find it really awkward to dance face to face. I find it easier to just come up behind the girl. I put my hands on her waist and move along with her hips and the beat. I get my body close to hers so her ass is grinding on my crotch.

As I'm grinding on her, I watch the natural with HBpale. RSD Ozzie's right that it's shortcut to kino as I see her kiss him.

I think the guy is trying to get his friend in so he can get me out of the set. I see him pull so guy over and but doesn't come into the set. The natural guy eventually pulls my girl and starts dancing with her so I grind on HBpale.

Eventually, this dude disappears. I tried a few times to move them to the bar so I could run some more verbal game but I'm really lost. First, I have no wings. If I had any of my wings, this shit would be so on. Next, this natural has some moves and runs circles around me on the dance floor but then he disappears so I'm still stuck with a two set.

I was wondering where you went:

After a bit more dancing, HByellow makes it known that HBpale wants to get off the dance floor. HByellow asks me, "Where do we get a drink around here?"

BTW, as I was driving home and as I'm writing this, I can see the matrix so to speak. The title of the section is a line that should have clued me in real time instead of recognizing what was going on after, when it's too late.

I lead them downstairs, but maybe I should have lead them to the quieter bar area upstairs. They stop by the bottom of the stairs. I try to sell the downstairs bar area but HByellow tells me HBpale just wanted some cool air. I tell them how we're gonna appreciate this cool air in two months when it's 90 degrees. I try again to get them to come to the bar but HByellow says they are fine. This bouncer starts telling us we can't be standing by the stairs. They say they want to go dance. I lead them upstairs again.

As I'm walking on the dance floor, I stop and talk to this brunette with glasses. I opened her and there seemed to be some possibilities there, but I left right away because I didn't want to give up on this two set. I catch up with my two set.

I tell them, "Hey, there you are. I was just cheering someone up over there."

HBpale says something like, "I was wondering where you went."

BING! I should have realized then that she liked me. It all makes sense. She jumped right on the venue change. When things stalled out, she's the one that gave me the opportunity to take control by asking me where the bar area is so I could lead them.

I still want HBpale:

That's what was going on in my head at the time. For a few moments, I think, "What the hell am I supposed to do here?" I'd picture Tim saying that you do what you want to do when you think that. We started dancing around the purses again. This time, I didn't take long to grind up on the girls from behind. I'd dance with one and then go to the other one. Of course, some random guy shows up. He starts dancing with HByellow.

She shows her crazy side. She motions some girl over so she gets sandwiched between the new guy and the girl. Meanwhile, I'm just grinding on HBpale. She seems cool with it, but I tried a few times to turn her around so she'd face me but she resisted that for some reason.

On a sidenote, I tried some escalation but again I didn't really know what I was doing. I remembered what my friend told me a few weeks ago. That's when I was dancing with this hot blonde with peach pants. I remember my friend said when you're grinding on the girl from behind, you need to start breathing into her neck. I did that a bit but I found it hard to do.

Did a screw up?/Reflections
I don't even know what happened but suddenly HBpale starts walking away. This was a few songs after we had come back. This whole time, I had done a good job of believing things were on and proceeded accordingly. This time I lost confidence. Instead of following them, I just let them go. I looked for them later (like near closing time) but they were gone.

As I reflect on it now, I guess I shouldn't have given up at that point. I could have followed them, or I could have looked for them sooner. Still, I think it's obvious now that my mistake was keeping HBpale as my target. Yeah, HBpale was more my type but it's not like HByellow was fat or ugly. I'm serious when I said most guys probably would have thought she was hotter. As I did grind on both of them, I can say that HByellow had a much firmer body and nicer ass that HBpale. I guess I just failed to adjust on the fly and I was overwhelmed but what was happening.

Oh, and wings would have helped... They were busy so at least I got out there, had fun, and tried my best to make something happen.

Naturals on the dance floor:
I gotta give that guy credit. He escalated quickly with HBpale on the dance floor. These fucking naturals run circles around me on the dance floor. It's funny how the guy just left though. He probably is suffering from the problem of not being a closer. He kissed the girl but if he wanted to get laid he needed to stick around.

It amuses me that I own naturals in some ways. I can open girls when some might be hesitant to do it. Also, naturals don't steal girls away from me like the used to. I'm sure it can still happen but I'll tell you that guys don't come into my sets anymore, at least when I'm not on the dance floor.

One day, I want to figure out dance floor escalation. I believe it can be a tight part of my game. I'll blow the set open like I did today. I'd bring the girls on the dance floor and escalate. Pull them off and talk more and pull them home.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Drunken sarging: Reference experiences and a silly sarge

I wanted to get drunk on Saturday to celebrate St Patrick's Day like everyone else. I'm glad I did it as I had fun. I didn't pull but my wing did. I helped him out by being cool enough that she was comfortable riding in the car with both of us.

I'm starting to realize that I now sarge drunk worse than I do sober. For awhile, drunken sarging was giving me better results. I suppose being slightly buzzed might help sometimes, but I don't think it does. On the other hand, Saturday night, I was really plastered.

Opening a set twice and not realizing it:

Here's an example of one of my drunken follies. I opened this 2-set. I opened this 2-set late in the night and I could tell the drinking had affected my game. First of all, I'd have trouble remembering some things as I'm talking. I remember I couldn't think of the name of a movie one time and a restaurant this other time. Next, I could tell I was doing something different drunk because I was getting busted out quickly. I opened this set and a minute or two into the set, the one girl starts giving me the hint to leave. She says, "We haven't seen each other in a long time and we were having a private conversation." That doesn't happen to me often and when it does, it happens on the approach and I can usually plow through that. I probably could have stayed in set if I gave some DHV stories but I left.

I opened some other set near the front of the bar. It's going okay but the girl I'm talking too isn't that attractive and I don't feel like it's really on. Suddenly, I see this redhead and brunette sit down at this table next to me.

I say to the redhead, "You must be popular today with the red hair."

The girl giggles and smiles. The brunette says, "Don't you remember us?"

I thought about it and I honestly didn't think I had ever met them before. I figured they remembered me from somewhere so I said, "No. How do you know me?"

The brunette replies, "We were just sitting over there," and points to the table I had left about five minutes ago.

"Seriously? Lol. Why did you move here?"
"We wanted a better table."
"Wow. I must really be drunk," I said as I stumbled away.

That was crazy. Obviously, I was too drunk to be gaming properly. There were two lessons here though. First, it's funny how it didn't even matter that I had opened them before and sort of been busted out. The redhead smiled when I opened them again. She probably wanted to talk to me as I would have gotten the annoyed look when I opened them again if she really disliked me. Second, I wonder if that was proximity IOI.

I feel funny writing that. I guess it's the inner chode in me that still wants to doubt myself. It's not out of the question that they'd move there so I might open them again. Even though I was plastered, it's true what TD says, "The self is always shining through." My attractive self could have been showing through the drunken stupor. Next, there wasn't much difference between the table they were at and the table they moved to. I actually thought the original table was a better location as it was in the middle area of the bar and a little quieter. A third piece of evidence is that the redhead smiled when I went to their table and opened them again. As I said above, if she were annoyed, she'd would have had a different look on her face. Fourth, I might have created some attraction through a jealously plot line with the new set. I'm sure the redhead noticed that I had gone into this next set. I walked directly to next set and it was only about three tables away from the original table and the second set was in clear view from the original table.

In the past, I wouldn't have believed girls would notice this, but I'm starting to believe. I think about that Valentine's Day set where the girl told me later that she had seen me talking to this other girl at the stairs. That was about an hour and a half after I opened her the first time. Second, I just listened to a this guy Brad P talking about club game. He says in clubs, you want to open sets and create attraction. Then you leave and bounch to another set and do the whole thing. He says the girls in the club will notice it and the girls you opened will see you opening the other sets. I concede it makes sense.

Reference material:
I think drunken sarging helps me create reference points. Alcohol does makes you lose some inhibitions. I've had some breakthroughs because I've done stuff drunk that I'd be afraid to do sober. After experiencing what happens, I realize it's not a big deal so I end up being comfortable doing it sober. For example, I made a big breakthrough with dancing while drunk. I'll get out on the dance floor even if it's empty because I don't care what people think or if they are watching. At this point, I've gotten so used to not caring that I don't even notice when people are watching me.

Saturday night, I created a reference point with giant groups. At our second bar, I remember going to the bathroom and spotting this cute brunette with glasses. Normally blondes are my type, but brunettes with glasses have been turning me on lately. I wanted to open her but she was in a giant group. It was like a big booth. You had to step up to the area. There was seating all along the back wall. The seating spread around the table. I'd probably be intimidated by this set while sober. It was a giant group. The only good thing was my girl was in the middle area so there wasn't any table blocking me.

I came out of the bathroom and walked right up and opened her. Even drunk, I knew every one was looking at me. I handled it like TD says is right. He describes the method for a coffee shop pickup. Everyone will be staring at you and the girl will notice it. You don't acknowledge it at all and just walk up, talk to the girl, and keep you gaze on her. If you do it right, TD says it looks like you know the girl. You also gain massive attraction as you give the vibe a celebrity does. You make it seem like you're used to people watching you and you have no reaction where most guys would get nervous.

The girl ended up being married but I was so glad I opened her. I think I'll be more comfortable with approaching a girl in a giant set in the future because I gained this reference point while drunk.