Sunday, August 15, 2010

Reasonable Expectation

Reasonable Expectations

After thinking long and hard about my evening, I came up with the following to make me feel better about myself:

I can't expect to be at the level I left off at but I can expect that if I keep getting out there, I'll get my game back to the level it was at and surely surpass it.

I was hard on myself the whole night and now I realize that I wasn't being fair to myself.  I've been opening sets with little fear and I've been having some good interactions and two that I'd consider great.  I seriously almost forgot that I had just started sarging again last week.  I expected the learning curve to be harder.  Approach anxiety is almost nonexistent and I feel like I'm back to a point where I was stuck for a long time.  This is where I can open sets and most girls will like me enough to not bust me out.  I get into a lot of sets that are okay but I feel like they aren't going anywhere.  I mean that I'd get into these sets where it doesn't look like I'm going to get laid by staying in the set. 

That's why I got pissed at myself:

I found myself sitting in several sets where I felt like I just described.  I knew things weren't going anywhere but I also didn't want to leave and give up.  I kept trying to move things along.  Part of me feels like I'm a victim of some bad luck.  For example, I had this amazing conversation with this girl.  She thinks a lot like this girl I met at Cadillac Ranch months ago.  The only problem is that she owns a store with her boyfriend...

Two other times, I was working on some blondes and couldn't make anything happen.  I couldn't figure out how to move things along. 

I also got pissed at myself because I was working other sets instead of trying to sarge one of my friend's coworkers that came out.  He had told me she was very single.  I didn't realize it until to late.  I saw her talking to these guys and it was obvious she was trying to get laid.  I didn't feel like I had enough energy to both sarge her and blow off the guys so I gave up. 

Of course I'm rusty:
It really did hit me when I thought about how I've only been out three times since I escaped from that black hole.  As I wrote above, it's amazing how simple things are but at the same time, I've got a long way to go.  I am out of practice and that's why I'm not moving these sets along as well as I have in the past.  I shouldn't feel bad about it as I know I'll get better as long as I keep going out consistently. 

What I need to do:

My opening is fine.  I get in and the girls like me.  My light kino is fine.  Where I went wrong is that I didn't try to push the interactions.  That's what I need to work on next time.  I knew I needed to be more daring with the kino.  I needed to try leaving my hand over the girl's hand a little longer to see if she was comfortable with it.  I needed to expand my kino to the more places: I needed to touch her leg, stroke her hair, or touch her face. 

I realize how important this stuff is because it helps you screen out the girls that are DTF.  I read some field reports this past week and I was reminded of how important that is.  I've been wasting time in sets because I didn't screen them for that.  I'm glad I had some of those great conversations I had, but if I want to go home with a girl and I need to push kino forward faster and see if they are ready for that.  If I like them but they don't seem DTF, I should number close and work on other girls. 

Beyond that, I just have to believe in myself and believe that the girls will like me for who I am.  If I move the interaction along confidently, I'll get where I need to go.  It sounds basic, but I can recall several times tonight when I recognized the right move but didn't go for it. 

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