I remember reading early on in pickup theory that this stuff works best on the hotter girls. I remember even reading an old Tyler post half jokingly explaining how HB 6 game works. Despite having read this and believing it, I never fully internalized it, yet I feel like I'm close now to doing so. Thinking back on the last few weeks, I've had way better experiences at the better venues than in say Lincoln Park. That's not to say that some of the HB6's or 7's haven't responded me well. There was that one last Saturday that I could have pulled if I hadn't screwed up, for example.
I swear the the worst responses I've gotten were from average or below average girls. I understand the theory behind it. The reason can be similar to when I was approached one time several years ago. I didn't feel entitled to a cute girl approaching me so I acted dumb and basically busted her out. Nintendo and I talk about how when we're on, we like the guy equivalent of HB9's or 10's and the average girls have entitlement issues. The low self esteem girls can think we're just messing with them. This is why that Tyler post talks about giving the HB6's compliments (this was back during the Mystery Method days when compliments off the bad were thought of as super AFC's, and high up on the don't do list.)
Nintendo also made a point that made me realize that these average girls get approached a lot more than many of the hotter girls. Yes, super hot girls can get approached everywhere, but at the bar, if you look, the average ones are the ones getting approached the most. Thinking about it, I know it to be true because my cool wings often are intimidated about approached the really hot girls at the club. I've been there myself but fortunately I've started to break past that. Tyler says that the hot girls enjoy the "friendly and cool" game because they are so used to guys trying to qualify themselves or just act weird because the guys don't feel entitled the girls and can't act normal. Rather than being chill, the guys brains either make it so they can't say anything or they do dumb shit because their brain tells them they have to do something special to impress the girl.
We realized that a larger number of guys approaching the average girl can be "friendly and cool" so it doesn't stand out as much for the average girls as it does for the hot girls. Furthermore, Tyler made a point that it's a HB 7.5 who wishes she were a HB 10 that selects on dumb stuff like going for only hot guys. An HB 10 cares less about looks in general because she already can have good looking guys but just wants a cool guy because that's what's rare to her.
For these reasons, and maybe because I just feel more intent with girls I'm super attracted to, and maybe the challenges forces me to step up, I've had some really great responses lately with hotter girls. That's not to say I haven't screwed up, and also, some of the sets got screwed up by cockblock friends or bad logistics, but I'm starting to get reference experiences to go along with the theorizing above. I can think of many hot girls that gave me way better responses that average girls, and the rudest shit I've gotten were from average girls the past 10 days.
I'll add that 2j says that the classier, better looking girls are often more social adept so they are less obnoxious that a lot of these average girls that aren't confident.
With this realization, I'm going to try to stick to venues with hotter girls and I feel like I'll be more confident with them. With average girls, I'm gonna throw them more compliments and just notch up the physical game so I can screen them out faster if they aren't DTF.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Lessons on inner game and ego protection
Tonight, I went out after watching Tyler's set of videos
http://www.rsdnation.com/tyler/blog/4-new-vids-lets-get-it-emotional-ecosystems-transcending-environmental-hypnosis-advanced-
I really felt like I was going to have a breakthrough in terms of inner game. I realized that I could run that rat race making excuses of why I'm not good enough or I could end that now and believe that I am enough.
I went out Wednesday and I didn't really have any memorable sets. I had fun doing dumb shit when I was drunk like opening by holding my beer and saying, "Chode's night out." It shows that you can open with anything as that was opening sets. I ended the night with this last set on the street and I let some chode bust me out because I was in a bad frame and was a little tipsy. It made me not want to have any beers Thursday night.
Thursday, I watched Dark Knight Returns. I found myself thinking about the shooting and even watching as people walked in during the movie. I know I was being paranoid as that theater is right next to the Elk Grove Village Police Station so it's one of the last places someone would hit. I noticed a cop walk in halfway through the movie so the fear is out there. The movie was good and I'll probably see it again on the IMAX. I read that there is 78 minutes of IMAX footage. Had I known that, I would have seen it in IMAX, though I used reward points I didn't even know that i had to see the movie anyway, so it's not a waste.
We went out late so the Lion Head/The Apartment was in full swing by the time we got in. I got a little lost in the environment for a few minutes as I'm used to being warmed up by this time. I hit up some sets and I sensed these average looking English girls were high buying temperature. I kept trying to get Nintendo to agree to hit up the set again on the dance floor. He wouldn't do it and I didn't feel confident enough to do it. Later, I saw a dude making out with one of them so I was right they were high buying temperature and no guys approached them for like 30 minutes after we first approached.
The set of the night was this 2-set as we were walking to the car. One was this tall brunette with glasses who we both agreed was hot. The friend was this short girl with short hair, which I don't find attractive but she was decent.
Nintendo admits he was choding out for most of the night. He banged the Slovenian girl last night and hooked up with his regular girl tonight so he was both lazy and practicing ego protection. He admitted as much later and vowed to work on it. I was making an effort, but I wasn't believing fully as I planned on doing and I vow to do better.
Football analogy:
I kept using a football analogy. We were down a touchdown and we were making some safe plays and set to lose this game. At the end, we got a gift. It was the equivalent to a defender falling down. I threw up the hail mary pass to the end zone to Nintendo and he dropped it.
It's almost unbelieveable. The two girls were drunk and the hot one dropped her phone and Nintendo helped her. Then she wanted to talk to him and he kept wanting to walk away. For example, she asked his name, and he said, "Don't worry about it" and kept walking. The hard to get was working ,but that's not why he was doing it. I said to the girls, "Hey, we're going to Big City Tap."
The tall girl replied, "Yeah, so are we."
The huge IOI I noticed was that the short one said in a puzzled voice, "We are? Okay."
It was obvious that the tall girl wanted to come with because she was attracted to Nintendo. They crossed the street with us and we stopped and talked near where it turns out their car was parked. She dropped a piece of her phone again and Nintendo helped her and got some incidental kino by putting the phone in her pocket.
The short one said, "This is my car." Nintendo said, "Can you guys even drive?" The tall girl replied, "Can you even talk?"
I talked to the short one and then Nintendo said, "Let's go."
He must have said that about 7-8 times since we originally interacted with them. I must have said, "Big City Tap" like 5 times. I finally gave up when Nintendo started walking away. I said that I should have said, "You go, I'm staying and going to Big City" and that might have snapped him to reality.
Ego protection:
That's what his problem was and it was an almost unbelievable display of this. He realized that his ego wanted to take that little bit of positive reaction rather than following through with the set and risking getting rejected. He also said that he must have had entitlement issues as this girl was one of the top 2 hottest girls we saw all night.
I realized too that I was holding myself back tonight because of ego protection as well. It was that subtle way that I sometimes don't give a full effort. Sure, I'm opening and trying but part of me is holding back as a way to feel good about myself when getting rejected. I often have to fight this tendency. Of course, when I make a 100% effort, the results are better, but it still is sometimes hard to put myself on the line.
Nintendo felt real pain when he realized how he forced us to leave this set because of inner game issues and I said that pain should force him to do better next time. He also realized he was just wasting time making himself go out while tired on days like tonight and not giving a full effort. He realized it was no longer enough to just give himself credit for making it out, but he needs to give a 100% effort when he goes out now as well.
http://www.rsdnation.com/tyler/blog/4-new-vids-lets-get-it-emotional-ecosystems-transcending-environmental-hypnosis-advanced-
I really felt like I was going to have a breakthrough in terms of inner game. I realized that I could run that rat race making excuses of why I'm not good enough or I could end that now and believe that I am enough.
I went out Wednesday and I didn't really have any memorable sets. I had fun doing dumb shit when I was drunk like opening by holding my beer and saying, "Chode's night out." It shows that you can open with anything as that was opening sets. I ended the night with this last set on the street and I let some chode bust me out because I was in a bad frame and was a little tipsy. It made me not want to have any beers Thursday night.
Thursday, I watched Dark Knight Returns. I found myself thinking about the shooting and even watching as people walked in during the movie. I know I was being paranoid as that theater is right next to the Elk Grove Village Police Station so it's one of the last places someone would hit. I noticed a cop walk in halfway through the movie so the fear is out there. The movie was good and I'll probably see it again on the IMAX. I read that there is 78 minutes of IMAX footage. Had I known that, I would have seen it in IMAX, though I used reward points I didn't even know that i had to see the movie anyway, so it's not a waste.
We went out late so the Lion Head/The Apartment was in full swing by the time we got in. I got a little lost in the environment for a few minutes as I'm used to being warmed up by this time. I hit up some sets and I sensed these average looking English girls were high buying temperature. I kept trying to get Nintendo to agree to hit up the set again on the dance floor. He wouldn't do it and I didn't feel confident enough to do it. Later, I saw a dude making out with one of them so I was right they were high buying temperature and no guys approached them for like 30 minutes after we first approached.
The set of the night was this 2-set as we were walking to the car. One was this tall brunette with glasses who we both agreed was hot. The friend was this short girl with short hair, which I don't find attractive but she was decent.
Nintendo admits he was choding out for most of the night. He banged the Slovenian girl last night and hooked up with his regular girl tonight so he was both lazy and practicing ego protection. He admitted as much later and vowed to work on it. I was making an effort, but I wasn't believing fully as I planned on doing and I vow to do better.
Football analogy:
I kept using a football analogy. We were down a touchdown and we were making some safe plays and set to lose this game. At the end, we got a gift. It was the equivalent to a defender falling down. I threw up the hail mary pass to the end zone to Nintendo and he dropped it.
It's almost unbelieveable. The two girls were drunk and the hot one dropped her phone and Nintendo helped her. Then she wanted to talk to him and he kept wanting to walk away. For example, she asked his name, and he said, "Don't worry about it" and kept walking. The hard to get was working ,but that's not why he was doing it. I said to the girls, "Hey, we're going to Big City Tap."
The tall girl replied, "Yeah, so are we."
The huge IOI I noticed was that the short one said in a puzzled voice, "We are? Okay."
It was obvious that the tall girl wanted to come with because she was attracted to Nintendo. They crossed the street with us and we stopped and talked near where it turns out their car was parked. She dropped a piece of her phone again and Nintendo helped her and got some incidental kino by putting the phone in her pocket.
The short one said, "This is my car." Nintendo said, "Can you guys even drive?" The tall girl replied, "Can you even talk?"
I talked to the short one and then Nintendo said, "Let's go."
He must have said that about 7-8 times since we originally interacted with them. I must have said, "Big City Tap" like 5 times. I finally gave up when Nintendo started walking away. I said that I should have said, "You go, I'm staying and going to Big City" and that might have snapped him to reality.
Ego protection:
That's what his problem was and it was an almost unbelievable display of this. He realized that his ego wanted to take that little bit of positive reaction rather than following through with the set and risking getting rejected. He also said that he must have had entitlement issues as this girl was one of the top 2 hottest girls we saw all night.
I realized too that I was holding myself back tonight because of ego protection as well. It was that subtle way that I sometimes don't give a full effort. Sure, I'm opening and trying but part of me is holding back as a way to feel good about myself when getting rejected. I often have to fight this tendency. Of course, when I make a 100% effort, the results are better, but it still is sometimes hard to put myself on the line.
Nintendo felt real pain when he realized how he forced us to leave this set because of inner game issues and I said that pain should force him to do better next time. He also realized he was just wasting time making himself go out while tired on days like tonight and not giving a full effort. He realized it was no longer enough to just give himself credit for making it out, but he needs to give a 100% effort when he goes out now as well.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Kclose? & "I'm not going home with you"
Something I need to discuss with 2j is whether I should try the quick kiss closes with high buying temperature girls. I think the answer depends on my goals. For practice, I should go with Ozzie's saying. I can hear him from Transformations talking about how he has closed in less than a minute. I approached this girl with a nose ring in Wicker Park. She was drunk and high buying temperature. She was holding strong eye contact and because she was a little tipsy, she would sometimes lean in and her lips were like inches from me. The other side is that it's not really solid game to do that stuff. It's surprisingly easy to kiss girls sometimes but it doesn't mean anything else is going to happen. I think I need to just take the opportunities. I find myself getting a little hesitant to go for the kiss again so I probably should just drill it then I'm going to try to kiss close every set if I can again.
With that particular set, there were two other girls and this one friend in particular was a massive cockblock. She wouldn't really talk to me and 2j tried as well to no avail. She dragged my target away after a few minutes upon the first approach. I opened them again at the bar, and I think that's when I should have kissed her. If I had been making out with her, the cockblock might have been more uncomfortable trying to bust me out. I approached a 3rd time but I had grown weary of dealing with the cockblock that time and my girl had lost her enthusiasm for me it seemed.
We then switched venues to this busy club that we went to last week. There was an hour period where 2j and I didn't do anything. He did a half assed approached on this Asian girl that was hovering. The funny thing about her is that maybe I should have went for her later. She got all drunk near the end of the night and had gotten up on this cube that the go go girls dance on. She was dancing like a stripper: she was lifting up her dress and pull on her thong.
I happened to be in set with this tall girl. I actually hit it off well with this tall girl. I had approached and then just started dancing with her after just a name exchange and a few sentence conversation. The Asian girl had started this strip dance next to us and my girl asked me for a dollar. I shook my head and she asked this other guy who gave her two singles. She was giggling like crazy as she put the dollar on the Asian girl. At this point, the bouncer made the girl come down.
I went back on my girl and started to grind with her and stimulate her with my right leg.
"I'm gonna tell you something because...I'm actually a cool chick. I'm not gonna go home with you tonight... I'm on my period" she said.
I held eye contact the entire time she said this. I knew it was a shit test. My eye contact never waved through this. I cut her off and replied with a smile, "Hey, we are just having fun" and just continued grinding. She smiled as I passed the test, and I could see her get relaxed and seemed a bit more into the grinding. I think my answer was fine. I knew that she was getting turned on if she threw that out there. I might have changed my response after thinking of it. I think I might have said something like, "I'm flattered that you're thinking about going home with me, but we're just having fun now. That's something that just happens if both people want it, but right now, let's just have fun." Maybe that's too long of an answer and again, what I said was fine.
The only problem was that about two minutes later, her group left and she had to go with them. I guess I could have tried a last ditch effort and grabbed her and said, "I see you're friends are leaving. We're having fun. Just stay here and you can grab a cab later or I can drop you off." It was better than just letting her walk off.
More tall girl reference experience:
At closing time, I saw this 2-set walk by me as my college friend was closing his tab. The first girl was average but the second was this tall, thin brunette with a cute face. I stopped her and introduced myself. The friend had wandered down the bar, so she said, "I have to go" and walked off.
I turned to my friend. About 30 seconds later, I heard, "My name is Kelly (or whatever he name was.)" I had seen the girl I stopped walking back to me in my periphery so I knew it was her. I also knew that was a huge IOI. I must have stopped her properly and she found me attractive or she wouldn't have bothered opening me again. I was hoping my buddy would help so I introduced the average girl to my friend. He didn't say anything. What I should have done was just started plowing them with material or just got up on my girl, but I stalled for a few seconds and then the average girl lead them away. My girl replied, "We're looking for our friends." They were, but I could have made a better attempt to salvage it.
I just mention this because I need it to give me more experiences to draw upon when I'm not feeling confident with tall girls.
With that particular set, there were two other girls and this one friend in particular was a massive cockblock. She wouldn't really talk to me and 2j tried as well to no avail. She dragged my target away after a few minutes upon the first approach. I opened them again at the bar, and I think that's when I should have kissed her. If I had been making out with her, the cockblock might have been more uncomfortable trying to bust me out. I approached a 3rd time but I had grown weary of dealing with the cockblock that time and my girl had lost her enthusiasm for me it seemed.
We then switched venues to this busy club that we went to last week. There was an hour period where 2j and I didn't do anything. He did a half assed approached on this Asian girl that was hovering. The funny thing about her is that maybe I should have went for her later. She got all drunk near the end of the night and had gotten up on this cube that the go go girls dance on. She was dancing like a stripper: she was lifting up her dress and pull on her thong.
I happened to be in set with this tall girl. I actually hit it off well with this tall girl. I had approached and then just started dancing with her after just a name exchange and a few sentence conversation. The Asian girl had started this strip dance next to us and my girl asked me for a dollar. I shook my head and she asked this other guy who gave her two singles. She was giggling like crazy as she put the dollar on the Asian girl. At this point, the bouncer made the girl come down.
I went back on my girl and started to grind with her and stimulate her with my right leg.
"I'm gonna tell you something because...I'm actually a cool chick. I'm not gonna go home with you tonight... I'm on my period" she said.
I held eye contact the entire time she said this. I knew it was a shit test. My eye contact never waved through this. I cut her off and replied with a smile, "Hey, we are just having fun" and just continued grinding. She smiled as I passed the test, and I could see her get relaxed and seemed a bit more into the grinding. I think my answer was fine. I knew that she was getting turned on if she threw that out there. I might have changed my response after thinking of it. I think I might have said something like, "I'm flattered that you're thinking about going home with me, but we're just having fun now. That's something that just happens if both people want it, but right now, let's just have fun." Maybe that's too long of an answer and again, what I said was fine.
The only problem was that about two minutes later, her group left and she had to go with them. I guess I could have tried a last ditch effort and grabbed her and said, "I see you're friends are leaving. We're having fun. Just stay here and you can grab a cab later or I can drop you off." It was better than just letting her walk off.
More tall girl reference experience:
At closing time, I saw this 2-set walk by me as my college friend was closing his tab. The first girl was average but the second was this tall, thin brunette with a cute face. I stopped her and introduced myself. The friend had wandered down the bar, so she said, "I have to go" and walked off.
I turned to my friend. About 30 seconds later, I heard, "My name is Kelly (or whatever he name was.)" I had seen the girl I stopped walking back to me in my periphery so I knew it was her. I also knew that was a huge IOI. I must have stopped her properly and she found me attractive or she wouldn't have bothered opening me again. I was hoping my buddy would help so I introduced the average girl to my friend. He didn't say anything. What I should have done was just started plowing them with material or just got up on my girl, but I stalled for a few seconds and then the average girl lead them away. My girl replied, "We're looking for our friends." They were, but I could have made a better attempt to salvage it.
I just mention this because I need it to give me more experiences to draw upon when I'm not feeling confident with tall girls.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Feeling like the AFC that girls don't like
Tonight I had several down moments and even as I begin writing this post, I can feel my eyes welling up with tears. It embarrassing to feel this way, to allow myself to end up in a thought loop that allows such thoughts, and to still dwell on the thoughts at this late hour. 2j said when you have a bad night, it's natural to feel down and get into this negative mind space.
Now, I'm giggling because I thought about the movie analogy I thought up as we were waiting for our double date Day 2's to show up. Swingers is one of my favorite movies. I said that I was like Mikey in Swingers today, and as I write this, the analogy is even more true. This Day 2 was a beach outing with the girls I sarged while waiting for the bus on Tuesday. Recall that I number closed a Slovenian girl who I'll call "Orz" now. She and her roommate and friend from home who I will now call "Jordan" also share a phone. Since I had to text Jordan to reach Orz anyway, Nintendo and I both agreed it would be best to meet them together on the Day 2.
On Saturday, we had planned to meet up around 3pm, but then in the evening, he said he had to work and at that job, he's never sure exactly when he was getting up. We set up a 6pm meet up, but then around noon, Nintendo text me that he was getting off early and asked if we should set up an earlier meet. He set up a 4pm meet which I thought we had plenty of time to make. The problem was that I had to dropped off my FB and then cross the city diagonally in a way that there's no fast expressway route. The whole time I was sweating being late as I managed to start things off wrong by catching a train near my house. My FB could see I was stressed and I somewhat felt guilty cause I was stressed cause I didn't want to be late for this Day 2.
Here's where it makes sense that I was Mikey from Swingers. I was stressed the whole time and Nintendo was telling me to chill and not worry about it. He said if we were late, we were late. It was a contrast to how we were feeling Tuesday. Nintendo was all stressed about dropping off the car and being late to meet our wings at the beach and I was having a good time and telling him to be positive. I explained that I'm usually chill and I hate having appointments; my life is set up the way it is so I usually don't have to get up at a set time or be anywhere at a set time. I guess I wanted this Day 2 to work well too badly, and perhaps that part of the reason it didn't turn out well. I felt like I was like Mikey in Swingers when he's complaining and overanalyzing everything. What I didn't plan on happening was that I was gonna turn into the whiner bitch Mikey is at one point in the movie when the Rob Livingston character has to come cheer him up.
To my credit, I'm not gonna hide at my place and feel depressed for a few days. I'll get over it by tomorrow. Like Mikey, I have good wings/friends. 2j was great on the phone. He happened to call me when we were just leaving the beach and I was really in a low state. Nintendo also tried to give me words of wisdom and he felt bad because he had a small role in my state of mind, as I'll explain in a bit.
Trent and Mikey in the trailer:
The girls would sometimes speak to each other in their language. They weren't too obnoxious about it and usually would tell us what they were saying. A few times, they said a few things to each other about us to let each other know the situation. Nintendo and I had code words. It's funny, Nintendo was just throwing out game terms that of course made no sense to the girls, and I made Swingers references and used PUA names and referenced stories. For example, I said I was like Tyler with Mystery and Style. I was referring to the part in the game where Tyler acts all weird around the girls and Style steals his girl. Later, I said the situation was like Mikey and Trent in the trailer.
Nintendo was similar to Trent today. He was being a fun party guy. To my credit, I wasn't being an AFC. I was doing okay, but my game is just never super physically dominant or high energy. I felt like I did a few fun things, but my game is mostly stories and making a rapport connection. I had joked that I needed to dunk a girl in the water or splash them, and I failed to do this. Part of the reason was that my target, Jordan, would not go in the water. Both girls initially didn't want to go in the water. Jordan was also refusing to drink at the beginning but after an hour or so, she decided to get drunk.
There was this moment where Nintendo started showing Orz some Salsa dancing moves right by the water, and then he slowly got her into the water. If I remember correctly, as I was a bit tipsy at this point, he started to drag her physically into the water. He had isolation with her and Jordan and I were sitting on the beach near the water. We started to talk, and I started to kino escalate by putting my arm around her. She was cool with it initially, but then she moved my arm off. She seemed to feel bad that she was withdrawing from me, but she also fed me some BS about how girls from their country like the take things slower. I don't think I acted deflated at the point.
After that, the girls ended up by the cooler and Nintendo and I were talking. He asked me what was up and I said that the girl didn't like me. I had tried to escalate to no avail. Here, Nintendo was trying to give me a advice to steer things, but in retrospect, I think I let it put me in a worse state. He had a point too. I was telling him we should get some food because the plan was to go to the beach and then around sunset, get some food and hang out at his place. His plan was to play it by ear which had some merit, but in the end, I think we should have moved things along sooner as we ended the night so late at his place that he was falling asleep anyway.
Nintendo said that I was being Mikey again because instead of just having fun, I was worrying about venue changing. He said we should just chill and keep going at the beach. While I think the venue change off the beach was a good idea, he's right that often I should just chill.
Don't kino escalate both girls:
This was a mistake that Nintendo felt really badly about afterward. Right after our talk, he tried to pump Jordan's state by grabbing her and carrying her into the water. She was bitching about it, but of course she liked it. I knew it was the right move to do something like that. I wasn't sure if I could carry her and I know if I didn't do it in the right state or frame of mind, it would be creepy so I elected not to do it. She loved it of course, and I later learned that she got so turn on that she kissed him as he was holding her over the water.
Well, fuck, that explains some of the reaction I got later. Now, this makes him sound like a dick, but he wasn't thinking, he was just acting and trying to be fun. It seems like we'd have some balance if I took some of his spontaneity in exchange for giving him some of my analytical side it terms of game.
Jordan just broke up with a guy:
After the water incident, I got isolation with Jordan by our stuff. She was complaining about her wet t-shirt, which I made a joke out of that got a giggle from her (I add this bit because I need to remind myself that I made a few jokes; I need to remind myself that I wasn't being the AFC that my negative side wants to paint me). I lent her my shirt and she started wandering down the beach. Orz and Nintendo were up on each other and talking so I decided to give them some space.
Part of me didn't want to follow as I was already feeling deflated, but I knew that action is always the answer as Jeffy says. I could have just stayed away, but I decided to catch up with her and talk. I caught up to her and told her that I was giving Nintendo and Orz some space as they were hitting it off. I walked with her a bit but then she told me that she wanted to be alone. She said she had a lot of things on her mind. I asked her what it was as she could tell me. She said, "You Americans like to talk about all your problems. We're not as comfortable doing that." I pressed her and she said she was thinking about a guy who's in Tennessee. Then, she told me she didn't want to talk and told me she was going to walk one way and I should walk the other way.
This would lead to the state I'm going to describe in the section below. This section is title as it is because Nintendo told me as we were walking to the car that he asked Orz, "What up with your friend? Why is she action weird?" Orz said that Jordan had recently broken up with a guy. I suppose that explains some things, yet the kiss situation with Nintendo means that if I had been more physically dominant and been a little cooler, then her situation wouldn't have mattered.
Enjoying a lake front moment as I'm about to cry:
I swear that I felt like I was about to cry. I'm sure the alcohol had some effect, but this situation just triggered my insecurities in the right way to almost send me back in time. I felt like I had felt so many times in the past before I learned to sarge. Tyler described being in these situations all the time as he was a teenager as well. I mention that as it thinking about motivates me because it makes me realize that some these Master PUA's/Instructors went through this same BS. Tyler mentioned in Transformations and in his field reports from the time period that he had several situations where he lost a girl to another guy and just felt defeated. The last time I felt like I did tonight was over a year ago when these two Latina sisters could get into Joe's and then I met them across the street and just as I walked in, some guy had her pressed up against the wall and was about to kiss her.
While Nintendo wasn't stealing my girl, Orz wanting Nintendo and Jordan telling me to walk away just made me feel like I always did as an AFC. That was when I never got the girls. Like Tyler, if there were a group a girls meeting up with my AFC friends in the past, I would never be the guy that would be liked. Girls might pair off or like one or two guys, but I would NEVER get the girls.
As I was standing by the water, I felt exposed. I didn't think of it at the time, but I think about it now like Superman kryptonite. I felt like I had no PUA powers. I felt sad because it felt more than just not getting the girl. My negative mind felt, "All these years and sacrifices to develop my PUA skills, and here I am the same AFC I was before I learned any of this."
As I was feeling this, I would occasionally crack a smile:
All this was possible because of me.
Nintendo did not want to open this set as he was in a negative state that day with all the rental car and bus stop BS. I remember pointing out the set and he was like, "Naw" and he sat right down next to his cousin. Completely sober at the time, I started talking to these girls. When the bus came, I sat down next to them and continued the conversation. I number closed them. While Nintendo did some of the planning today, I text them on Friday with a general text and they responded to me enthusiastically asking about Sunday. I text them Saturday when I found out Nintendo had been lazy about setting up the actual details about Sunday.
As I was wallowing in self pity, I also realize I was being overly negative. There I was in perfect weather, on the beach just after sunset. If it weren't for meeting these girls and being on this Day 2, I would have missed the moment I was having. With all these emotions racing through me, part of me was also just enjoying standing there in knee deep water just gazing at the lake. Also,we were there with two cute girls and I had given my best shot. Yes, I could have done things better, but I am who I am. 2j said I can learn to be more physicall dominant and I've written that I'm working on that. 2j also said it was natural to feel negative when you just got rejected.
2j, "It's just one girl."
He sent me that text later in response to some text I sent after I got off the phone. Now, I can talk about what he said on the phone. I wrote above that 2j happened to call me as we were leaving the beach. Jordan was having problems with her shoe and I took the call as the three of them were working on fixing it. I gave 2j a brief summary of what was going on and told him how I felt so shitty.
First of all, he said that it's better to set up a one on one Day 2 as opposed to this double date. I still think this double date was a good idea because of the phone situation. This feels like it's a unique situation with these girls but perhaps I should have just try to set something up solo. 2j said I wouldn't have worried about being eclipsed by the other guy if it had been one on one. 2j acknowledged that Nintendo is loud and might have been more dominant here, but he said that when we're out in the field, I hold my own in our sets. He told me to learn what I can from it though and work on leading more/ being more dominant.
I have made a bigger deal of this situation that was warranted. I truly have been having a Mikey day. I get rejected all the time and so does Nintendo, 2j, and yes, even Tyler, Mystery, etc. Rejection is a huge part of this game. I know that and my wings have said that I take it better than anyone else. It is one girl. Eastern European girls are known for being especially turned on by physically dominant men: I remember RSD Brad making this point on the free tour last year. Okay, my game didn't work here. It might have worked if we had met them a few weeks later when the sting of her break up had passed. Some girls want to fuck right after a break up, but Nintendo also said that Orz told him that Jordan has a hard time trusting guys after this last break up. Maybe if Nintendo went for this girl, he could have fucked her. Who knows? I'm the one who agreed to this set up. Nintendo had suggested the switch as Tuesday, I initially wanted Orz as I had talked to her more that Jordan, yet he wanted it the other way. I agreed to switch, and when he saw the two girls in their bikini's, it was obvious Jordan was more attractive, and he joked about switching back. I wanted to stay on Jordan, so he agreed as it was my set after all.
The point is, there were many things out of my control, including the level of dominance in my game. I can work on improving that, but I shouldn't beat myself up over this as much as I have.
The narrative that was true as an AFC is absolutely not the one that plays out now. It's amazing how negative your thoughts can get, especially when you keep indulging them. On the ride home, I was thinking about this past week. It has been a blast. I had some crazy encounters. I've surely grown. Besides that, there were sets were Nintendo was the one rejected and I was not. Even at the beach, I thought of the Willow set, but my mind didn't want to give it much credit as my girl was fat, but I know that one can get rejected by fatties too. On Monday, the blonde in the second venue was really into me, and Nintendo's girl had walked away and dragged the set. My negative mind wants to say, "Big deal, that was early in the set."
I can keep making excuse if I want to be negative, but I've indulged them enough in this massively long post. I feel better having written this though. I feel like this is one of those posts that really give me value as I've sorted through my thoughts.
Maybe I'll play out the Mikey at the end of the movie?
I'll close on a positive note. I wrote about how I was the whiner Mikey today. I was the Mikey in the trailer talking to his girl while Trent is ready to bang his girl. I was the Mikey locked up in his place all depressed. Maybe I can learn from today and be the Mikey at the end of the film. I can be the Mikey that gets it all together one night. Maybe I'll massively hit it off with some HB9. Instead of Trent and Sue commenting about it in the background, maybe I'll have 2j and Nintendo watching in awe.
I'll give it my best shot!
Now, I'm giggling because I thought about the movie analogy I thought up as we were waiting for our double date Day 2's to show up. Swingers is one of my favorite movies. I said that I was like Mikey in Swingers today, and as I write this, the analogy is even more true. This Day 2 was a beach outing with the girls I sarged while waiting for the bus on Tuesday. Recall that I number closed a Slovenian girl who I'll call "Orz" now. She and her roommate and friend from home who I will now call "Jordan" also share a phone. Since I had to text Jordan to reach Orz anyway, Nintendo and I both agreed it would be best to meet them together on the Day 2.
On Saturday, we had planned to meet up around 3pm, but then in the evening, he said he had to work and at that job, he's never sure exactly when he was getting up. We set up a 6pm meet up, but then around noon, Nintendo text me that he was getting off early and asked if we should set up an earlier meet. He set up a 4pm meet which I thought we had plenty of time to make. The problem was that I had to dropped off my FB and then cross the city diagonally in a way that there's no fast expressway route. The whole time I was sweating being late as I managed to start things off wrong by catching a train near my house. My FB could see I was stressed and I somewhat felt guilty cause I was stressed cause I didn't want to be late for this Day 2.
Here's where it makes sense that I was Mikey from Swingers. I was stressed the whole time and Nintendo was telling me to chill and not worry about it. He said if we were late, we were late. It was a contrast to how we were feeling Tuesday. Nintendo was all stressed about dropping off the car and being late to meet our wings at the beach and I was having a good time and telling him to be positive. I explained that I'm usually chill and I hate having appointments; my life is set up the way it is so I usually don't have to get up at a set time or be anywhere at a set time. I guess I wanted this Day 2 to work well too badly, and perhaps that part of the reason it didn't turn out well. I felt like I was like Mikey in Swingers when he's complaining and overanalyzing everything. What I didn't plan on happening was that I was gonna turn into the whiner bitch Mikey is at one point in the movie when the Rob Livingston character has to come cheer him up.
To my credit, I'm not gonna hide at my place and feel depressed for a few days. I'll get over it by tomorrow. Like Mikey, I have good wings/friends. 2j was great on the phone. He happened to call me when we were just leaving the beach and I was really in a low state. Nintendo also tried to give me words of wisdom and he felt bad because he had a small role in my state of mind, as I'll explain in a bit.
Trent and Mikey in the trailer:
The girls would sometimes speak to each other in their language. They weren't too obnoxious about it and usually would tell us what they were saying. A few times, they said a few things to each other about us to let each other know the situation. Nintendo and I had code words. It's funny, Nintendo was just throwing out game terms that of course made no sense to the girls, and I made Swingers references and used PUA names and referenced stories. For example, I said I was like Tyler with Mystery and Style. I was referring to the part in the game where Tyler acts all weird around the girls and Style steals his girl. Later, I said the situation was like Mikey and Trent in the trailer.
Nintendo was similar to Trent today. He was being a fun party guy. To my credit, I wasn't being an AFC. I was doing okay, but my game is just never super physically dominant or high energy. I felt like I did a few fun things, but my game is mostly stories and making a rapport connection. I had joked that I needed to dunk a girl in the water or splash them, and I failed to do this. Part of the reason was that my target, Jordan, would not go in the water. Both girls initially didn't want to go in the water. Jordan was also refusing to drink at the beginning but after an hour or so, she decided to get drunk.
There was this moment where Nintendo started showing Orz some Salsa dancing moves right by the water, and then he slowly got her into the water. If I remember correctly, as I was a bit tipsy at this point, he started to drag her physically into the water. He had isolation with her and Jordan and I were sitting on the beach near the water. We started to talk, and I started to kino escalate by putting my arm around her. She was cool with it initially, but then she moved my arm off. She seemed to feel bad that she was withdrawing from me, but she also fed me some BS about how girls from their country like the take things slower. I don't think I acted deflated at the point.
After that, the girls ended up by the cooler and Nintendo and I were talking. He asked me what was up and I said that the girl didn't like me. I had tried to escalate to no avail. Here, Nintendo was trying to give me a advice to steer things, but in retrospect, I think I let it put me in a worse state. He had a point too. I was telling him we should get some food because the plan was to go to the beach and then around sunset, get some food and hang out at his place. His plan was to play it by ear which had some merit, but in the end, I think we should have moved things along sooner as we ended the night so late at his place that he was falling asleep anyway.
Nintendo said that I was being Mikey again because instead of just having fun, I was worrying about venue changing. He said we should just chill and keep going at the beach. While I think the venue change off the beach was a good idea, he's right that often I should just chill.
Don't kino escalate both girls:
This was a mistake that Nintendo felt really badly about afterward. Right after our talk, he tried to pump Jordan's state by grabbing her and carrying her into the water. She was bitching about it, but of course she liked it. I knew it was the right move to do something like that. I wasn't sure if I could carry her and I know if I didn't do it in the right state or frame of mind, it would be creepy so I elected not to do it. She loved it of course, and I later learned that she got so turn on that she kissed him as he was holding her over the water.
Well, fuck, that explains some of the reaction I got later. Now, this makes him sound like a dick, but he wasn't thinking, he was just acting and trying to be fun. It seems like we'd have some balance if I took some of his spontaneity in exchange for giving him some of my analytical side it terms of game.
Jordan just broke up with a guy:
After the water incident, I got isolation with Jordan by our stuff. She was complaining about her wet t-shirt, which I made a joke out of that got a giggle from her (I add this bit because I need to remind myself that I made a few jokes; I need to remind myself that I wasn't being the AFC that my negative side wants to paint me). I lent her my shirt and she started wandering down the beach. Orz and Nintendo were up on each other and talking so I decided to give them some space.
Part of me didn't want to follow as I was already feeling deflated, but I knew that action is always the answer as Jeffy says. I could have just stayed away, but I decided to catch up with her and talk. I caught up to her and told her that I was giving Nintendo and Orz some space as they were hitting it off. I walked with her a bit but then she told me that she wanted to be alone. She said she had a lot of things on her mind. I asked her what it was as she could tell me. She said, "You Americans like to talk about all your problems. We're not as comfortable doing that." I pressed her and she said she was thinking about a guy who's in Tennessee. Then, she told me she didn't want to talk and told me she was going to walk one way and I should walk the other way.
This would lead to the state I'm going to describe in the section below. This section is title as it is because Nintendo told me as we were walking to the car that he asked Orz, "What up with your friend? Why is she action weird?" Orz said that Jordan had recently broken up with a guy. I suppose that explains some things, yet the kiss situation with Nintendo means that if I had been more physically dominant and been a little cooler, then her situation wouldn't have mattered.
Enjoying a lake front moment as I'm about to cry:
I swear that I felt like I was about to cry. I'm sure the alcohol had some effect, but this situation just triggered my insecurities in the right way to almost send me back in time. I felt like I had felt so many times in the past before I learned to sarge. Tyler described being in these situations all the time as he was a teenager as well. I mention that as it thinking about motivates me because it makes me realize that some these Master PUA's/Instructors went through this same BS. Tyler mentioned in Transformations and in his field reports from the time period that he had several situations where he lost a girl to another guy and just felt defeated. The last time I felt like I did tonight was over a year ago when these two Latina sisters could get into Joe's and then I met them across the street and just as I walked in, some guy had her pressed up against the wall and was about to kiss her.
While Nintendo wasn't stealing my girl, Orz wanting Nintendo and Jordan telling me to walk away just made me feel like I always did as an AFC. That was when I never got the girls. Like Tyler, if there were a group a girls meeting up with my AFC friends in the past, I would never be the guy that would be liked. Girls might pair off or like one or two guys, but I would NEVER get the girls.
As I was standing by the water, I felt exposed. I didn't think of it at the time, but I think about it now like Superman kryptonite. I felt like I had no PUA powers. I felt sad because it felt more than just not getting the girl. My negative mind felt, "All these years and sacrifices to develop my PUA skills, and here I am the same AFC I was before I learned any of this."
As I was feeling this, I would occasionally crack a smile:
All this was possible because of me.
Nintendo did not want to open this set as he was in a negative state that day with all the rental car and bus stop BS. I remember pointing out the set and he was like, "Naw" and he sat right down next to his cousin. Completely sober at the time, I started talking to these girls. When the bus came, I sat down next to them and continued the conversation. I number closed them. While Nintendo did some of the planning today, I text them on Friday with a general text and they responded to me enthusiastically asking about Sunday. I text them Saturday when I found out Nintendo had been lazy about setting up the actual details about Sunday.
As I was wallowing in self pity, I also realize I was being overly negative. There I was in perfect weather, on the beach just after sunset. If it weren't for meeting these girls and being on this Day 2, I would have missed the moment I was having. With all these emotions racing through me, part of me was also just enjoying standing there in knee deep water just gazing at the lake. Also,we were there with two cute girls and I had given my best shot. Yes, I could have done things better, but I am who I am. 2j said I can learn to be more physicall dominant and I've written that I'm working on that. 2j also said it was natural to feel negative when you just got rejected.
2j, "It's just one girl."
He sent me that text later in response to some text I sent after I got off the phone. Now, I can talk about what he said on the phone. I wrote above that 2j happened to call me as we were leaving the beach. Jordan was having problems with her shoe and I took the call as the three of them were working on fixing it. I gave 2j a brief summary of what was going on and told him how I felt so shitty.
First of all, he said that it's better to set up a one on one Day 2 as opposed to this double date. I still think this double date was a good idea because of the phone situation. This feels like it's a unique situation with these girls but perhaps I should have just try to set something up solo. 2j said I wouldn't have worried about being eclipsed by the other guy if it had been one on one. 2j acknowledged that Nintendo is loud and might have been more dominant here, but he said that when we're out in the field, I hold my own in our sets. He told me to learn what I can from it though and work on leading more/ being more dominant.
I have made a bigger deal of this situation that was warranted. I truly have been having a Mikey day. I get rejected all the time and so does Nintendo, 2j, and yes, even Tyler, Mystery, etc. Rejection is a huge part of this game. I know that and my wings have said that I take it better than anyone else. It is one girl. Eastern European girls are known for being especially turned on by physically dominant men: I remember RSD Brad making this point on the free tour last year. Okay, my game didn't work here. It might have worked if we had met them a few weeks later when the sting of her break up had passed. Some girls want to fuck right after a break up, but Nintendo also said that Orz told him that Jordan has a hard time trusting guys after this last break up. Maybe if Nintendo went for this girl, he could have fucked her. Who knows? I'm the one who agreed to this set up. Nintendo had suggested the switch as Tuesday, I initially wanted Orz as I had talked to her more that Jordan, yet he wanted it the other way. I agreed to switch, and when he saw the two girls in their bikini's, it was obvious Jordan was more attractive, and he joked about switching back. I wanted to stay on Jordan, so he agreed as it was my set after all.
The point is, there were many things out of my control, including the level of dominance in my game. I can work on improving that, but I shouldn't beat myself up over this as much as I have.
The narrative that was true as an AFC is absolutely not the one that plays out now. It's amazing how negative your thoughts can get, especially when you keep indulging them. On the ride home, I was thinking about this past week. It has been a blast. I had some crazy encounters. I've surely grown. Besides that, there were sets were Nintendo was the one rejected and I was not. Even at the beach, I thought of the Willow set, but my mind didn't want to give it much credit as my girl was fat, but I know that one can get rejected by fatties too. On Monday, the blonde in the second venue was really into me, and Nintendo's girl had walked away and dragged the set. My negative mind wants to say, "Big deal, that was early in the set."
I can keep making excuse if I want to be negative, but I've indulged them enough in this massively long post. I feel better having written this though. I feel like this is one of those posts that really give me value as I've sorted through my thoughts.
Maybe I'll play out the Mikey at the end of the movie?
I'll close on a positive note. I wrote about how I was the whiner Mikey today. I was the Mikey in the trailer talking to his girl while Trent is ready to bang his girl. I was the Mikey locked up in his place all depressed. Maybe I can learn from today and be the Mikey at the end of the film. I can be the Mikey that gets it all together one night. Maybe I'll massively hit it off with some HB9. Instead of Trent and Sue commenting about it in the background, maybe I'll have 2j and Nintendo watching in awe.
I'll give it my best shot!
"What would happen if I were to leave here with you?"
Saturday night I was out with some college friends. I got a slow start as I was chilling with them and Nintendo ended up not coming out where I was so I had no wings. It's funny how I got one guy that really gets triggered by me opening. I thought all these guys were used to it, but I suppose this guy really hasn't been out to the bars with me in ages. He had been complaining that I was opening so I finally told him to talk 20 feet in front of me if he didn't want to see it. I'll give the other guys credit for backing me up. The first comment I blew off, but the second one put me in a combative state even though I should care either way.
Despite the slow start, I got things rolling at The Apartment. I suppose it's because that's where all this started, and I've been there so many times so I feel comfortable. I spent a ton of time just trying out these dance moves I learned from youtube and trying to grab girls that happened to walk by me.
Petite girl:
The first set that really hooked was this petite girl in a blue dress. Well, there were two sets at State. I had opened this girl in a 3-set but I wasn't fully in state and some guy nearby had opened them while I was there. I hate to admit it, but instead of being my usual self, I let him talk to her more and tried talking to the 3rd friend. She hadn't said a word and then told me she didn't want to talk to anyone so I wandered off and didn't have the confidence to try to bust out the guy later. I saw him number close but he had no kino escalation and was just being friendly. I should take comfort in the fact that the number is probably so memorable for him as it's obvious he's not a true natural or PUA.
The other set was a birthday girl that opened. I sat down and clawed her. She seemed into me and was high buying temperature since it was her birthday and she was drunk. I was still reeling from the 3-set so when she said she had to go meet a friend in the group and told me to wait, I just ran off. I also still have that Tyler idea I read long ago that you should never wait for girls. Well, I could have waited and just talked to someone else and opened her again, but I used the UFC main event as a reason to leave.
Anyway, at the Apartment, I opened this petite girl and she was solidly hooked. She was giving me the strong eye contact in a way that was memorable. I screwed it up as she wasn't as sexual adventurous as I'd like and I threw out something that bothered her. Vegas had come up and she said, "People get all drunk there." I said, "You make it sound like that's a bad thing."
HB: They have strippers there too.
Me: Oh, strippers. Does that mean you have a bisexual side to you?
I saw her get that disgusted look. I remember in Jeffy show 2 that if you are calibrated enough to notice that immediately, you can thwart it but acknowledging it in a funny way. You gain points because it shows you empathize with her and it prevents her from actually feeling that anger or disgust. I failed her and I saw her then turn away from me. I tried plowing. She said they were gonna go to the bathroom so I knew I was busted out, so I left. They didn't leave the bar then even though they were ready to so I really knew I was busted out).
This set frustrated me because even though it was short, that was the first Doggy Dinner Bowl look I had this evening.
"What would happen if I were to leave her with you?"
Later in the night, I saw this pale girl looking bored at a table near the dance floor. I opened her strongly and was up in her face immediately. She gave me strong eye contact from the onset. I remember clawing her. I don't remember the verbals except that she said, "I have a boyfriend."
Often, that's a bust out, but this felt like I remember reading about early on when I was studying PUA theory. Sometimes, the girl mentions a boyfriend cause she wants you to be aware of it but is willing to cheat. She mentioned the boyfriend but she didn't resist my kino in anyway, and she kept the strong eye contact.
I gave the correct response her as I remember saying, "Hey, it's cool. I don't judge. I just want to have fun. We make our own rules."
I remember realizing that the set had popped and this girl was ready to make out. I didn't want to do it by her friends so I remember getting her to stand up. I danced with her for a few seconds and then I was about to lead her to the window when she stopped and uttered the words in this section title, "What would happen if I were to leave here with you?"
At the time, part of me sensed that the right answer was not the default answer I felt like making. I always play off or deny any sexual intent. I always think about the "pet rock" game structure where you give the girl some BS excuse to come over so you don't trigger ASD. I also think about that girl last year on Cinco De Mayo who still had to shit test me as we were walking into her place by saying, "Just so you know, we're not having sex if you come up."
My dumb ass replied to this girl, "Um, we'll hang out."
I saw her facial expression change after that. She started to pull away. She said something like, "I can't risk it. I have a business. I just can't."
It seemed like she had some business due to her boyfriend or something. From those comments and of course the body language and eye contact, it was obvious she was really considering hooking up with me. I had set up the one night stand frame with the words I said early on. 2j said the question here was a test of my intent. I, of course, failed.
This was one of those situations where the woman wanted to know that if she were gonna leave with me, sex was gonna happen. She didn't want to waste time watching a movie or doing other BS, especially because just leaving with me was gonna put her lifestyle/business at risk. The correct responses could have been several things. I could have looked her in the eyes, grabbed her neck, and just started making out. I could have said something like, "Well, I know nothing would happen that we both wouldn't want. Imagine if you could submit to your desires fully because you know you wouldn't be judge. Imagine if you could communicate your inner most desires and maybe even fulfill them?"
I felt like I could have giving some long patterning answer like that. It's so dumb that I said the default answer even though I was calibrated enough to sense it was the wrong answer.
Oh man, did this set bother me the whole night. It was so damned close. I tried to recover but couldn't. I tried the "shh" thing I tried with the Russian girl weeks ago. It actually worked, but I needed to try to kiss her but I had lost my nerve at that point.
I'll give myself credit for trying again when I saw her outside. I saw her walking with her group, and I went to get her attention just as she happened to stumble and I grabbed her at the same time her friend next to her did. The group was starting to walk away and all I managed to say was, "See, I was there to catch you as you fell."
Trying to close by forcing Nintendo to game the ugly friend:
I ran out of street sets in Lincoln Park and had a decision to make. My FB wanted me to pick her up from a party but I had the option to meet Nintendo in River North. He was gonna help me get into this popular venue there. I was torn the whole 10 minute drive to the expressway where I had to make my decision. I decided to meet Nintendo.
"No ID, No stamp, No problem," I said to 2j as I walked in. I spotted Andydufresne and 2j when I walked in with Nintendo with no stamp. I flashed my wrist like I had a stamp and the bouncer didn't say anything. It didn't matter at this point in the night as there was no line, but it's funny to me nonetheless.
This venue was unusually slow. In contrast, my wings had told me that the previous Saturday was exceptionally busy. I'm guessing it had something to do with the festival schedule. I worked the sets that were there including two tall blondes. The only set that had traction was some girl that I spotted dancing. I started dancing by her and then grabbed her arms. We were dancing together. I spun her around and kept trying to pull her in to grind. She do it for a few seconds and then pull back.
I remember deciding to try to talk to her more. My memory is not entirely clear, but I remember that she seemed a bit more comfortable with dancing really close, but suddenly there was this ugly friend to deal with. I grabbed Nintendo, and he started talking to my girl and then the girls walked off a bit. My girl had said they needed to talk.
I told Nintendo, "I need your help with this set, and you get stuck with the fat girl this time. You were talking to my target."
He gave me some shit but he agreed. I'll give him this, he is a team player despite how I might make him sound in the Sunday beach report that follow this post. He really turned the fatty around. She was in a bitchy mood but once he gave her attention, she was smiling in into him. I got my isolation with my girl. We were on stage, and I started dancing with her. I pulled her in close, and started to grind on her. She was into it but then just suddenly ran off.
I think there was a boyfriend involved as I remember hearing "boyfriend" mentioned when the two were talking and Nintendo and I were still close by. This was just after he had talked to my girl and the girls had said they needed to talk.
Might as well try:
After that set, we left. As we were about to go home, I saw her standing outside. I decided to approach. I didn't approach as strongly as I would have liked to in retrospect, but I think it wouldn't have mattered. I think she had a boyfriend, as I said in above. I remember approaching her, looking her in the eye, holding either her hands or her waist, and then asking her what she was doing now. I think she said, "I don't know, I think I'm going home." I tried to sell food but she pulled away and started walking to her friends and said, "I have to go."
I'm glad I made the last attempt as I know I'd regret it if I hadn't.
Despite the slow start, I got things rolling at The Apartment. I suppose it's because that's where all this started, and I've been there so many times so I feel comfortable. I spent a ton of time just trying out these dance moves I learned from youtube and trying to grab girls that happened to walk by me.
Petite girl:
The first set that really hooked was this petite girl in a blue dress. Well, there were two sets at State. I had opened this girl in a 3-set but I wasn't fully in state and some guy nearby had opened them while I was there. I hate to admit it, but instead of being my usual self, I let him talk to her more and tried talking to the 3rd friend. She hadn't said a word and then told me she didn't want to talk to anyone so I wandered off and didn't have the confidence to try to bust out the guy later. I saw him number close but he had no kino escalation and was just being friendly. I should take comfort in the fact that the number is probably so memorable for him as it's obvious he's not a true natural or PUA.
The other set was a birthday girl that opened. I sat down and clawed her. She seemed into me and was high buying temperature since it was her birthday and she was drunk. I was still reeling from the 3-set so when she said she had to go meet a friend in the group and told me to wait, I just ran off. I also still have that Tyler idea I read long ago that you should never wait for girls. Well, I could have waited and just talked to someone else and opened her again, but I used the UFC main event as a reason to leave.
Anyway, at the Apartment, I opened this petite girl and she was solidly hooked. She was giving me the strong eye contact in a way that was memorable. I screwed it up as she wasn't as sexual adventurous as I'd like and I threw out something that bothered her. Vegas had come up and she said, "People get all drunk there." I said, "You make it sound like that's a bad thing."
HB: They have strippers there too.
Me: Oh, strippers. Does that mean you have a bisexual side to you?
I saw her get that disgusted look. I remember in Jeffy show 2 that if you are calibrated enough to notice that immediately, you can thwart it but acknowledging it in a funny way. You gain points because it shows you empathize with her and it prevents her from actually feeling that anger or disgust. I failed her and I saw her then turn away from me. I tried plowing. She said they were gonna go to the bathroom so I knew I was busted out, so I left. They didn't leave the bar then even though they were ready to so I really knew I was busted out).
This set frustrated me because even though it was short, that was the first Doggy Dinner Bowl look I had this evening.
"What would happen if I were to leave her with you?"
Later in the night, I saw this pale girl looking bored at a table near the dance floor. I opened her strongly and was up in her face immediately. She gave me strong eye contact from the onset. I remember clawing her. I don't remember the verbals except that she said, "I have a boyfriend."
Often, that's a bust out, but this felt like I remember reading about early on when I was studying PUA theory. Sometimes, the girl mentions a boyfriend cause she wants you to be aware of it but is willing to cheat. She mentioned the boyfriend but she didn't resist my kino in anyway, and she kept the strong eye contact.
I gave the correct response her as I remember saying, "Hey, it's cool. I don't judge. I just want to have fun. We make our own rules."
I remember realizing that the set had popped and this girl was ready to make out. I didn't want to do it by her friends so I remember getting her to stand up. I danced with her for a few seconds and then I was about to lead her to the window when she stopped and uttered the words in this section title, "What would happen if I were to leave here with you?"
At the time, part of me sensed that the right answer was not the default answer I felt like making. I always play off or deny any sexual intent. I always think about the "pet rock" game structure where you give the girl some BS excuse to come over so you don't trigger ASD. I also think about that girl last year on Cinco De Mayo who still had to shit test me as we were walking into her place by saying, "Just so you know, we're not having sex if you come up."
My dumb ass replied to this girl, "Um, we'll hang out."
I saw her facial expression change after that. She started to pull away. She said something like, "I can't risk it. I have a business. I just can't."
It seemed like she had some business due to her boyfriend or something. From those comments and of course the body language and eye contact, it was obvious she was really considering hooking up with me. I had set up the one night stand frame with the words I said early on. 2j said the question here was a test of my intent. I, of course, failed.
This was one of those situations where the woman wanted to know that if she were gonna leave with me, sex was gonna happen. She didn't want to waste time watching a movie or doing other BS, especially because just leaving with me was gonna put her lifestyle/business at risk. The correct responses could have been several things. I could have looked her in the eyes, grabbed her neck, and just started making out. I could have said something like, "Well, I know nothing would happen that we both wouldn't want. Imagine if you could submit to your desires fully because you know you wouldn't be judge. Imagine if you could communicate your inner most desires and maybe even fulfill them?"
I felt like I could have giving some long patterning answer like that. It's so dumb that I said the default answer even though I was calibrated enough to sense it was the wrong answer.
Oh man, did this set bother me the whole night. It was so damned close. I tried to recover but couldn't. I tried the "shh" thing I tried with the Russian girl weeks ago. It actually worked, but I needed to try to kiss her but I had lost my nerve at that point.
I'll give myself credit for trying again when I saw her outside. I saw her walking with her group, and I went to get her attention just as she happened to stumble and I grabbed her at the same time her friend next to her did. The group was starting to walk away and all I managed to say was, "See, I was there to catch you as you fell."
Trying to close by forcing Nintendo to game the ugly friend:
I ran out of street sets in Lincoln Park and had a decision to make. My FB wanted me to pick her up from a party but I had the option to meet Nintendo in River North. He was gonna help me get into this popular venue there. I was torn the whole 10 minute drive to the expressway where I had to make my decision. I decided to meet Nintendo.
"No ID, No stamp, No problem," I said to 2j as I walked in. I spotted Andydufresne and 2j when I walked in with Nintendo with no stamp. I flashed my wrist like I had a stamp and the bouncer didn't say anything. It didn't matter at this point in the night as there was no line, but it's funny to me nonetheless.
This venue was unusually slow. In contrast, my wings had told me that the previous Saturday was exceptionally busy. I'm guessing it had something to do with the festival schedule. I worked the sets that were there including two tall blondes. The only set that had traction was some girl that I spotted dancing. I started dancing by her and then grabbed her arms. We were dancing together. I spun her around and kept trying to pull her in to grind. She do it for a few seconds and then pull back.
I remember deciding to try to talk to her more. My memory is not entirely clear, but I remember that she seemed a bit more comfortable with dancing really close, but suddenly there was this ugly friend to deal with. I grabbed Nintendo, and he started talking to my girl and then the girls walked off a bit. My girl had said they needed to talk.
I told Nintendo, "I need your help with this set, and you get stuck with the fat girl this time. You were talking to my target."
He gave me some shit but he agreed. I'll give him this, he is a team player despite how I might make him sound in the Sunday beach report that follow this post. He really turned the fatty around. She was in a bitchy mood but once he gave her attention, she was smiling in into him. I got my isolation with my girl. We were on stage, and I started dancing with her. I pulled her in close, and started to grind on her. She was into it but then just suddenly ran off.
I think there was a boyfriend involved as I remember hearing "boyfriend" mentioned when the two were talking and Nintendo and I were still close by. This was just after he had talked to my girl and the girls had said they needed to talk.
Might as well try:
After that set, we left. As we were about to go home, I saw her standing outside. I decided to approach. I didn't approach as strongly as I would have liked to in retrospect, but I think it wouldn't have mattered. I think she had a boyfriend, as I said in above. I remember approaching her, looking her in the eye, holding either her hands or her waist, and then asking her what she was doing now. I think she said, "I don't know, I think I'm going home." I tried to sell food but she pulled away and started walking to her friends and said, "I have to go."
I'm glad I made the last attempt as I know I'd regret it if I hadn't.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Street game and "vulture wings"
Nintendo and I ended up doing street game most of the night. The massive rejections you get in street game messed with Nintendo I think. Well, that and he was tired so by the end he was in a negative mind space. I realized later that instead of trying to hard stop moving sets, which is exteremely difficult and has the highest bust out rate possible, we could have done some sets where we just walked with the girls for a bit. That's less threatening and gives the girls more time to get a feel that we are actually cool guys. On the flip side, when you do the alpha stop correctly and the girls stay, the set usually is really on and there's a good chane to pull or at least venue change.
Lessons from street game:
-The first was above, that we don't need to use the same high risk/ high reward manuver.
-Nintendo pointed out something that I felt inside but wasn't doing enough to combat during my street openers. I came across as uncalibrated because I knew I should go up and instantly kino the girl but I also felt weird doing it cause we were on the street. It was incongruent because part of me knew I needed to touch the girl and the other didn't want to so I'd hold myself back and that looks weird. It's funny that it still worked anyway, but if I'm gonna open aggressively, I have to totally commit. I have reference experience from the Pride parade openers that I can make this successful here (at the girls we are opening often have been drinking since the early bars had just close), and that I know how it feels to open correctly and to be holding back.
Vultures:
We had met up with these two others guys I know, including this Asian guy that I've gone out with a few times. At the very end of the night, I street opened this Asian girl who was walking by and she actually stopped despite what I wrote above. Like a dumb ass, I turned when someone said, "Hey man" and it turned out to be a homeless guy. I normally ignore shit like that, but being in the street I wanted to be aware of my surroundings in case it's actually a girl's boyfriend or something since I am opening so aggresively. Since I didn't have the girl totally hooked, she started to walk away, but I was ready to try to reel her back in.
These two guys were waiting like vultures and immediately tried to open her. They were so eager that they basisically opened at the same time. Give me some fucking space! Yeah, they can open a set if I bust out, but they should have waited about ten or twenty feet back at least instead of being right next to me.
The Asian guy had her attention but then the redhead guy grabbed it and actually got the girl to start walking across the street from her.
You wanna bust me out, then no one gets the girl:
Part of me debated letting him have the set, but I saw the Asian wing going to bust out his wing (these guys were actually out together as a team). Well, I might as well do this as I was the one originally wronged, and I'm damn well good at tooling and blowing other guys out.
I actually wasn't at the top of my game this time. I felt bad tooling these guys and they are beginners and I've hung out with one guy. I felt guilt with the other guy as I barely new him but I also knew he was new to this. I could have said a bunch off stuff to really fuck up their state and bust them out, but I held back where I wouldn't have with some random guys. I also didn't like just talking over them.
This became even weirder for the girl because it became clear we all knew each other. She eventually walked away and got in a cab. It's too bad they came in because this girl was lonely and wanted to meet someone. It's even more clear that she stayed that long with all this weird bullshit going on.
I had that girl:
That's what the redhead guy said. I replied, "Don't steal my sets. Yeah, I had briefly lost her cause that homeless guy talked to me and I was dumb enough to turn and acknowledge him. You guys just swooped in when I could have reeled her back in. If you wanna steal my sets, then no one is gonna get the girl cause I'm good at AMOGing."
I'll close by saying that they can get the girl if I bust out but give me more space than being right next to me. Besides that, those two are wings and yet they are trying to open the girl at the same time like that. Moreover, if you wanted the girl, be more active like I was in trying to find sets on the street instead of standing behind me passively.
Lessons from street game:
-The first was above, that we don't need to use the same high risk/ high reward manuver.
-Nintendo pointed out something that I felt inside but wasn't doing enough to combat during my street openers. I came across as uncalibrated because I knew I should go up and instantly kino the girl but I also felt weird doing it cause we were on the street. It was incongruent because part of me knew I needed to touch the girl and the other didn't want to so I'd hold myself back and that looks weird. It's funny that it still worked anyway, but if I'm gonna open aggressively, I have to totally commit. I have reference experience from the Pride parade openers that I can make this successful here (at the girls we are opening often have been drinking since the early bars had just close), and that I know how it feels to open correctly and to be holding back.
Vultures:
We had met up with these two others guys I know, including this Asian guy that I've gone out with a few times. At the very end of the night, I street opened this Asian girl who was walking by and she actually stopped despite what I wrote above. Like a dumb ass, I turned when someone said, "Hey man" and it turned out to be a homeless guy. I normally ignore shit like that, but being in the street I wanted to be aware of my surroundings in case it's actually a girl's boyfriend or something since I am opening so aggresively. Since I didn't have the girl totally hooked, she started to walk away, but I was ready to try to reel her back in.
These two guys were waiting like vultures and immediately tried to open her. They were so eager that they basisically opened at the same time. Give me some fucking space! Yeah, they can open a set if I bust out, but they should have waited about ten or twenty feet back at least instead of being right next to me.
The Asian guy had her attention but then the redhead guy grabbed it and actually got the girl to start walking across the street from her.
You wanna bust me out, then no one gets the girl:
Part of me debated letting him have the set, but I saw the Asian wing going to bust out his wing (these guys were actually out together as a team). Well, I might as well do this as I was the one originally wronged, and I'm damn well good at tooling and blowing other guys out.
I actually wasn't at the top of my game this time. I felt bad tooling these guys and they are beginners and I've hung out with one guy. I felt guilt with the other guy as I barely new him but I also knew he was new to this. I could have said a bunch off stuff to really fuck up their state and bust them out, but I held back where I wouldn't have with some random guys. I also didn't like just talking over them.
This became even weirder for the girl because it became clear we all knew each other. She eventually walked away and got in a cab. It's too bad they came in because this girl was lonely and wanted to meet someone. It's even more clear that she stayed that long with all this weird bullshit going on.
I had that girl:
That's what the redhead guy said. I replied, "Don't steal my sets. Yeah, I had briefly lost her cause that homeless guy talked to me and I was dumb enough to turn and acknowledge him. You guys just swooped in when I could have reeled her back in. If you wanna steal my sets, then no one is gonna get the girl cause I'm good at AMOGing."
I'll close by saying that they can get the girl if I bust out but give me more space than being right next to me. Besides that, those two are wings and yet they are trying to open the girl at the same time like that. Moreover, if you wanted the girl, be more active like I was in trying to find sets on the street instead of standing behind me passively.
Skipping the line and no id check even
I feel this deserves a different post and my main event of the night ending up being street game and dealing with vulture "wings." I have a pro poker buddy that I known for years who showed me these moves years ago. It was only after self actualizing and the community that I actually had the internals to do it consistently. I should also give credit to Colorado Dave as my first time sneaking in a place without the "Snake" was at BodyWorlds a few years ago with C Dave.
Nintendo wanted to check out this venue I had never been to or heard off before. There was a long line to get in and I was in the right state that I decided I was gonna get in without waiting. I hesitate to write my move here as if people started copying my moves, they wouldn't work anymore, but I know few people actually read this, so I know it won't matter. Besides, if you look nervous or hesitate, the move isn't gonna work. Finally, the move in general requires situational awareness, to use a term that G taught me from his Air Force training. I generally do short awareness circle, meaning I don't pay attention to everything going on around me, but if you're standing around a club entrance, this is a good time to be very observant visually and auditorily (nerdy side note, that adverb doesn't pass the spell check, and I found a discussion about it http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=978838 . "Aurally" is used more often, but supposedly, "auditorily" is valid as well).
I saw a group of girls and a guy talking about a birthday and it seemed like they were getting ready to go in as the mother hen girl was gathering everyone around. I stayed close by them as they worked their way to the entrance. As I saw the bouncer was about to open the rope, I tried to wave Nintendo in, but he didn't seem to understand what I was doing. I then just walked in with the party group like I belonged and of course, I wasn't challenged. Heck, I even got in without showing the ID and the legit people in the group had to show ID's.
Nintendo sent me a text saying that he wanted me to come to the entrance and tell the bouncer, "Hey, that my friend and he's with our table" so he could get in. I wasn't reluctant to do this, but before I had to work up a plan, I saw he had gotten in.
The method he used was to just use breaking rapport with the bouncer like he would if he were actually in the situation he was describing to the bouncer. It was similar to what Colorado Dave used to get inside Bodyworlds. Nintendo said something like, "Hey, I was just in there and stepped out for a second. I'm at a friend's table. Let me back in."
Nintendo wanted to check out this venue I had never been to or heard off before. There was a long line to get in and I was in the right state that I decided I was gonna get in without waiting. I hesitate to write my move here as if people started copying my moves, they wouldn't work anymore, but I know few people actually read this, so I know it won't matter. Besides, if you look nervous or hesitate, the move isn't gonna work. Finally, the move in general requires situational awareness, to use a term that G taught me from his Air Force training. I generally do short awareness circle, meaning I don't pay attention to everything going on around me, but if you're standing around a club entrance, this is a good time to be very observant visually and auditorily (nerdy side note, that adverb doesn't pass the spell check, and I found a discussion about it http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=978838 . "Aurally" is used more often, but supposedly, "auditorily" is valid as well).
I saw a group of girls and a guy talking about a birthday and it seemed like they were getting ready to go in as the mother hen girl was gathering everyone around. I stayed close by them as they worked their way to the entrance. As I saw the bouncer was about to open the rope, I tried to wave Nintendo in, but he didn't seem to understand what I was doing. I then just walked in with the party group like I belonged and of course, I wasn't challenged. Heck, I even got in without showing the ID and the legit people in the group had to show ID's.
Nintendo sent me a text saying that he wanted me to come to the entrance and tell the bouncer, "Hey, that my friend and he's with our table" so he could get in. I wasn't reluctant to do this, but before I had to work up a plan, I saw he had gotten in.
The method he used was to just use breaking rapport with the bouncer like he would if he were actually in the situation he was describing to the bouncer. It was similar to what Colorado Dave used to get inside Bodyworlds. Nintendo said something like, "Hey, I was just in there and stepped out for a second. I'm at a friend's table. Let me back in."
Friday, July 20, 2012
We need to lead- Nintendo
I just got off the phone with Nintendo and we further analyzed the Irish Mcdonald's set. Besides the points I made about needed to be more high octane, the problem was we failed to lead in that interaction. There's conversational leading, and I do a good job with that. I'm always directing the conversation, but I do way too much rapport building. Especially in that Mcdonald's situation, I should have lead the conversation to sexual topics or romance instead of just vibing and telling cool stories.
Failure to lead: the underlying problem:
Nintendo made a great point that a current that has been present in all our interactions, including the Willow pull was that we often don't lead. Nintendo contrasted that with the redhead Wicker Park set that he lead to a venue change and to their place to smoke weed. In the Willow pull, we gave the girls a ride, got the liquor they wanted, and went to their place. I don't think it was a big hindrance there but it's just evidence that we are succeeding despite this flaw in our game.
We failed to lead during that entire Mcdonald's interaction. I kept wondering how we were supposed to lead when the blonde girls wouldn't even talk to us. Maybe that was a lost cause, but Nintendo pointed out a key point where I could have lead better. He pointed out when there was one seat left on the side of the table by the friends. Despite being drunk, I knew that was a problem. I protested that she probably wasn't gonna sit with me alone at a table and would have wanted to sit with her friends. I had considered taking the seat, but I worried she'd sit across from her friends and then I wouldn't be able to kino. I decided standing next to her was the lesser evil cause at least I could still kino her. Nintendo pointed out what I already knew, that standing there was bad as it made it so I appeared too invested in the interaction.
Sit on my lap:
This was a move that never even crossed my mind. Nintendo hit it right on. He said I should have taken the empty chair. I protested that she likely would have sat across and I'd have no kino or I'd have to risk looking by getting up from my seat to try to be close to her for kino. Nintendo said that as soon as I sat down, I neede to use an alpha voice and say, "Here, come sit on my lap." I agree that if I said it correctly, she would have sat down on my lap. If she refused, then I could have said, okay let's sit on that side. There were two empty chairs on the other side, but it was away from her friends.
We're all not isolating, leading:
That's the conclusion I came to when we discussed this. We thought about some of the group sets we had worked and no one tried to isolate a target. I said that with all the sets including the Weed girl set we pulled, we played it safe. I emphasized that even in 2-sets, we should be moving the girls around and isolating. I think back to that Andydufresne set, and even though he didn't want to pull, I didn't even try suggested a venue change to my girls. I let them lead eventually by letting them decide to go cause they had gotten bored. That was despite hearing them ask each other that a few minutes before.
I think I really need to burn the sets to the ground:
I have some number closes that I need to push and I hope I can get some Day 2's from that because I think I need to do a leading drill the next few days. I talked about this on the ride to the club Thursday, but I didn't follow through. Tonight, I'm gonna treat each set like a pulling drill. Rather than try to just vibe and build a connection through rapport, I'm gonna focus on finding different reasons to lead the girl around the club, and if the set lasts long enough, to other venues. I'm gonna try to kiss close within 20 minutes even though it's not always the most solid way to do it.
Nintendo and 2j tell me I often just get lost in the sets and it's because I'm not leading. This is the way I can work on fixing it.
Failure to lead: the underlying problem:
Nintendo made a great point that a current that has been present in all our interactions, including the Willow pull was that we often don't lead. Nintendo contrasted that with the redhead Wicker Park set that he lead to a venue change and to their place to smoke weed. In the Willow pull, we gave the girls a ride, got the liquor they wanted, and went to their place. I don't think it was a big hindrance there but it's just evidence that we are succeeding despite this flaw in our game.
We failed to lead during that entire Mcdonald's interaction. I kept wondering how we were supposed to lead when the blonde girls wouldn't even talk to us. Maybe that was a lost cause, but Nintendo pointed out a key point where I could have lead better. He pointed out when there was one seat left on the side of the table by the friends. Despite being drunk, I knew that was a problem. I protested that she probably wasn't gonna sit with me alone at a table and would have wanted to sit with her friends. I had considered taking the seat, but I worried she'd sit across from her friends and then I wouldn't be able to kino. I decided standing next to her was the lesser evil cause at least I could still kino her. Nintendo pointed out what I already knew, that standing there was bad as it made it so I appeared too invested in the interaction.
Sit on my lap:
This was a move that never even crossed my mind. Nintendo hit it right on. He said I should have taken the empty chair. I protested that she likely would have sat across and I'd have no kino or I'd have to risk looking by getting up from my seat to try to be close to her for kino. Nintendo said that as soon as I sat down, I neede to use an alpha voice and say, "Here, come sit on my lap." I agree that if I said it correctly, she would have sat down on my lap. If she refused, then I could have said, okay let's sit on that side. There were two empty chairs on the other side, but it was away from her friends.
We're all not isolating, leading:
That's the conclusion I came to when we discussed this. We thought about some of the group sets we had worked and no one tried to isolate a target. I said that with all the sets including the Weed girl set we pulled, we played it safe. I emphasized that even in 2-sets, we should be moving the girls around and isolating. I think back to that Andydufresne set, and even though he didn't want to pull, I didn't even try suggested a venue change to my girls. I let them lead eventually by letting them decide to go cause they had gotten bored. That was despite hearing them ask each other that a few minutes before.
I think I really need to burn the sets to the ground:
I have some number closes that I need to push and I hope I can get some Day 2's from that because I think I need to do a leading drill the next few days. I talked about this on the ride to the club Thursday, but I didn't follow through. Tonight, I'm gonna treat each set like a pulling drill. Rather than try to just vibe and build a connection through rapport, I'm gonna focus on finding different reasons to lead the girl around the club, and if the set lasts long enough, to other venues. I'm gonna try to kiss close within 20 minutes even though it's not always the most solid way to do it.
Nintendo and 2j tell me I often just get lost in the sets and it's because I'm not leading. This is the way I can work on fixing it.
Went with Irish girl to Rock and Roll McDonald's
The only other set worth writing about happened at the end of the night. I opened this Irish girl who was sitting on a fire hydrant near a bunch of other Irish people. A blonde she was with started walking towards Rock n Roll Mcdonald's so I put my arm on my girl and used Jeffy's technique of pretending it was my idea and said, "Let's go to Rock n Roll McDonald's." Nintendo was trying to talk to the blonde Irish girl to no avail and then another blonde Irish girl ran up. He started joking around with my target and then I told him, "I need your help on the blondes, not on my girl."
We got to the McDonald's and my girl and a blonde went off to the bathroom. The other blonde ordered her food. I tried to push Nintendo to talk to her and I tried talking to her as well. She was unresponsive so we just let her wander off to a table. I went back up to my girl when she ordered. When she got her food, I tried to tell her that the other blonde had wandered off, but she spotted her at a a big table.
There were two empty seats on the side the blonde on. The blonde took one and there was one left. Nintendo said on the ride home that I should have tried to lead the blonde to sit with me at a different table. At the time, I decided to just let her sit there and stand next to her even though it wasn't ideal . The girl offered me fries and I ate half her fries. We also exchanged her drink as they had given her Cherry Coke instead of regular Coke.
I had the girl clawed while I was talking to her. This black guy had sat down across from us and was talking to the girls. He tried to determine my relation with the girl by throwing out, "I like your boyfriend. He's cool." I'm sure he was hoping she'd say, "He's not my boyfriend" but the girl didn't even respond.
My set was cut short when the two Irish girls told my girl they were leaving. I guess at this point, I could have said, "Hey, stay with me and finish your sandwich." I don't think it would have worked but it might have been a decent move to try. Instead, I walked with them and tried to get in the cab. Well, the girls got in and then I said, "Hey, let me come by and hang out." They rejected it and I asked two more times and then had to admit defeat. The only way I think I could have been more alpha about it was that instead of standing in the way of the door, I could have just tried to sit down as soon as my girl sat down, and/or told her to scoot over as I was half sitting down.
Nintendo's analysis:
He was sober and was stuck driving my car to his place as I was drunk and he had offered this plan at the beginning of the night. He admitted he hadn't given his best effort with the blondes. He said that my problem was I didn't escalate with the Irish girl enough. He said I should have been trying for the make out.
I did kino a decent amount. I clawed her, but yeah, I suppose he's right. We had said on the drive in that we were supposedly going to focus on pulling. Thinking back, I don't even think I had a plan when I was walking with them to McDonald's. I think I figured I'd chat her up and then just try to continue to hang out with her and hope I could create something. I probably was running the set like a number close set, but I never even asked for the phone number. I was thinking about it but didn't expect the friends to rush her out before she had even finished eating her Big Mac.
If I really did want to pull, and that's usually the point of street sets, then I should have been more playful. I needed to tease and flirt more, which I was not doing. I was doing too much rapport building instead of trying to spike her buying temperature.
Nintendo said I needed to make out and I argued that it wasn't on. At the same time, I acknowledged that I know you don't need to do anything elaborate to build up a kiss close. As I'm writing this, I realize that this was a time for high octane moves. Sure, I'm not that good at it, but I have enough moves to try, yet I focused on rapport building instead. If I had teased, flirted, and/or lifted and spun her, I would have spiked her buying temp and then a kiss would have felt more appropriate. If I set up a make out, then the pull would have been more likely.
I think that's the lesson to be learned.
We got to the McDonald's and my girl and a blonde went off to the bathroom. The other blonde ordered her food. I tried to push Nintendo to talk to her and I tried talking to her as well. She was unresponsive so we just let her wander off to a table. I went back up to my girl when she ordered. When she got her food, I tried to tell her that the other blonde had wandered off, but she spotted her at a a big table.
There were two empty seats on the side the blonde on. The blonde took one and there was one left. Nintendo said on the ride home that I should have tried to lead the blonde to sit with me at a different table. At the time, I decided to just let her sit there and stand next to her even though it wasn't ideal . The girl offered me fries and I ate half her fries. We also exchanged her drink as they had given her Cherry Coke instead of regular Coke.
I had the girl clawed while I was talking to her. This black guy had sat down across from us and was talking to the girls. He tried to determine my relation with the girl by throwing out, "I like your boyfriend. He's cool." I'm sure he was hoping she'd say, "He's not my boyfriend" but the girl didn't even respond.
My set was cut short when the two Irish girls told my girl they were leaving. I guess at this point, I could have said, "Hey, stay with me and finish your sandwich." I don't think it would have worked but it might have been a decent move to try. Instead, I walked with them and tried to get in the cab. Well, the girls got in and then I said, "Hey, let me come by and hang out." They rejected it and I asked two more times and then had to admit defeat. The only way I think I could have been more alpha about it was that instead of standing in the way of the door, I could have just tried to sit down as soon as my girl sat down, and/or told her to scoot over as I was half sitting down.
Nintendo's analysis:
He was sober and was stuck driving my car to his place as I was drunk and he had offered this plan at the beginning of the night. He admitted he hadn't given his best effort with the blondes. He said that my problem was I didn't escalate with the Irish girl enough. He said I should have been trying for the make out.
I did kino a decent amount. I clawed her, but yeah, I suppose he's right. We had said on the drive in that we were supposedly going to focus on pulling. Thinking back, I don't even think I had a plan when I was walking with them to McDonald's. I think I figured I'd chat her up and then just try to continue to hang out with her and hope I could create something. I probably was running the set like a number close set, but I never even asked for the phone number. I was thinking about it but didn't expect the friends to rush her out before she had even finished eating her Big Mac.
If I really did want to pull, and that's usually the point of street sets, then I should have been more playful. I needed to tease and flirt more, which I was not doing. I was doing too much rapport building instead of trying to spike her buying temperature.
Nintendo said I needed to make out and I argued that it wasn't on. At the same time, I acknowledged that I know you don't need to do anything elaborate to build up a kiss close. As I'm writing this, I realize that this was a time for high octane moves. Sure, I'm not that good at it, but I have enough moves to try, yet I focused on rapport building instead. If I had teased, flirted, and/or lifted and spun her, I would have spiked her buying temp and then a kiss would have felt more appropriate. If I set up a make out, then the pull would have been more likely.
I think that's the lesson to be learned.
Laughed at bouncer trying to build state/status off us
I went to this club last night with Nintendo, Andydufresne, and 2j as Nintendo had a text promoting the place. I wanted to get drunk so I had like 6 drinks in 10 minutes. I could tell I was fucked up and it lead to some adventures. I remember trying to get into this club that was doing some black promotion with this girl but I couldn't get in for free as I didn't have the text. 2j got in with some Asian girl that had promotions cards from her hotel. After not getting in, I remember seeing Nintendo talking to some Latinas in front of this nearby club and I got in there for free by just walking in with this married girl.
The highlight of the night for me was laughing obnoxiously at this stupid fuck bouncer at the original club when 2j and I returned. As I think back on the night, I remember a scene from American Pie 2. It's where Stifler sees Sherman at a party early in the movie and he tells him, "Hey, nice to see you man" and offers a handshake. Sherman is wary and says that he knows that Stifler is just messing with him, but Stifler pretends to be genuine. When Sherman offers his hand, Stifler pulls his hand back, of course, and laughs obnoxiously at him and says, "You stupid fuck!"
I felt like I laughed as obnoxiously at the bouncer but I just didn't ad the stupid fuck part. I also held myself back from talking more shit as I knew I was drunk.
What happened was I opened this brunette French girl who was sitting down. Disney, my promoter friend, was also in the club, and he approached the friend. I got busted out and started talking to 2j. This bald Latino bouncer thought he could use my bust out and went up to the girl. He wasn't doing his job, we saw later that he kept trying to sarge girls. I'm sure this eventually works for him, but later on, he just got some girls some free drinks and tried kinoing them but got nowhere. With these girls, he tried some white knight approach even though I had already stopped talking to the girl.
This guy is such a dumb fucked cause he asked the girl, "Are these guys bothering you?"
2j and I both heard him say that and we heard the girl say, "No, I'm fine."
He then walked away a little deflated as he had been hoping to use that as an in. One might have thought he was doing his job up to this point, but again, I saw him trying to pickup girls while working instead of just being a bouncer like most of the other guys working there. Yes, I was drunk, but I had walked away already.
The real evidence is that he saw me looking at him, and he had to throw in, "Hey, walk away from these girls" even thought I wasn't even talking to them anymore.
Bad move idiot! Don't try to use me to build state. I hate bullies or asshole that try to mess with other guys or put them down to build status or state. I'm polite to everyone but if someones does this to me, I am quick to respond with a verbal jab. It often catches them of guard because they don't expect a small Asian guy to have instant verbal jabs and to look bigger guys right in the eye with no fear.
I'm not sure if I said something as a verbal response to him. I think I just busted out with a long Stifler laugh. As he was walking away, I pointed at him as I was laughing and said, "You got rejected too!"
At this point I had to restrain myself as I wanted to talk even more shit. Also, this tall white bouncer was standing near us and had probably seen this. I wanted to go up to him and say, "Where do you get these guys? That guy asks the girl over there if I'm bothering them, even though I had already walked away from her. She tells him that she's fine, and yet he proceeds to try to act cool by telling me to walk away from her. ROFL."
Thinking about it now sober, I probably should have done that. There's a good chance that bouncer would have fell into my frame and there's nothing really negative that could have happened.
Later, we saw the Latino bouncer trying to sarge some girls. He lead them to the bar area and gave them free drinks, as I mentioned. He was cave manning a girl, but he quickly got rejected and walked away. Here is where it was good I held myself back. 2j and I were joking about busting him out of that set while he was in it. Sober, it would have been fine to do it but drunk I might have gotten us kicked out.
The dumb thing is that for a few minutes after the encounter, I kept telling 2j, "I wonder if he's gonna bust in on our sets again?"
Thinking back on it, there's no way. He tried to mess with us and instead of building state from bossing me around for no reason, I had to have dropped his state. His frame was "I'm a bouncer, I'm gonna push this guy around" and my frame was, "You're a stupid fuck that just got rejected trying to use me as an in. Moreover, not only am I not going acknowledge your supposed authority to tell me to move out of this spot, I'm gonna laugh at your dumb ass as loud as Stifler does and point at you as I'm laughing as a kid would point out some poor kid on the playground that he was ripping on."
The highlight of the night for me was laughing obnoxiously at this stupid fuck bouncer at the original club when 2j and I returned. As I think back on the night, I remember a scene from American Pie 2. It's where Stifler sees Sherman at a party early in the movie and he tells him, "Hey, nice to see you man" and offers a handshake. Sherman is wary and says that he knows that Stifler is just messing with him, but Stifler pretends to be genuine. When Sherman offers his hand, Stifler pulls his hand back, of course, and laughs obnoxiously at him and says, "You stupid fuck!"
I felt like I laughed as obnoxiously at the bouncer but I just didn't ad the stupid fuck part. I also held myself back from talking more shit as I knew I was drunk.
What happened was I opened this brunette French girl who was sitting down. Disney, my promoter friend, was also in the club, and he approached the friend. I got busted out and started talking to 2j. This bald Latino bouncer thought he could use my bust out and went up to the girl. He wasn't doing his job, we saw later that he kept trying to sarge girls. I'm sure this eventually works for him, but later on, he just got some girls some free drinks and tried kinoing them but got nowhere. With these girls, he tried some white knight approach even though I had already stopped talking to the girl.
This guy is such a dumb fucked cause he asked the girl, "Are these guys bothering you?"
2j and I both heard him say that and we heard the girl say, "No, I'm fine."
He then walked away a little deflated as he had been hoping to use that as an in. One might have thought he was doing his job up to this point, but again, I saw him trying to pickup girls while working instead of just being a bouncer like most of the other guys working there. Yes, I was drunk, but I had walked away already.
The real evidence is that he saw me looking at him, and he had to throw in, "Hey, walk away from these girls" even thought I wasn't even talking to them anymore.
Bad move idiot! Don't try to use me to build state. I hate bullies or asshole that try to mess with other guys or put them down to build status or state. I'm polite to everyone but if someones does this to me, I am quick to respond with a verbal jab. It often catches them of guard because they don't expect a small Asian guy to have instant verbal jabs and to look bigger guys right in the eye with no fear.
I'm not sure if I said something as a verbal response to him. I think I just busted out with a long Stifler laugh. As he was walking away, I pointed at him as I was laughing and said, "You got rejected too!"
At this point I had to restrain myself as I wanted to talk even more shit. Also, this tall white bouncer was standing near us and had probably seen this. I wanted to go up to him and say, "Where do you get these guys? That guy asks the girl over there if I'm bothering them, even though I had already walked away from her. She tells him that she's fine, and yet he proceeds to try to act cool by telling me to walk away from her. ROFL."
Thinking about it now sober, I probably should have done that. There's a good chance that bouncer would have fell into my frame and there's nothing really negative that could have happened.
Later, we saw the Latino bouncer trying to sarge some girls. He lead them to the bar area and gave them free drinks, as I mentioned. He was cave manning a girl, but he quickly got rejected and walked away. Here is where it was good I held myself back. 2j and I were joking about busting him out of that set while he was in it. Sober, it would have been fine to do it but drunk I might have gotten us kicked out.
The dumb thing is that for a few minutes after the encounter, I kept telling 2j, "I wonder if he's gonna bust in on our sets again?"
Thinking back on it, there's no way. He tried to mess with us and instead of building state from bossing me around for no reason, I had to have dropped his state. His frame was "I'm a bouncer, I'm gonna push this guy around" and my frame was, "You're a stupid fuck that just got rejected trying to use me as an in. Moreover, not only am I not going acknowledge your supposed authority to tell me to move out of this spot, I'm gonna laugh at your dumb ass as loud as Stifler does and point at you as I'm laughing as a kid would point out some poor kid on the playground that he was ripping on."
Thursday, July 19, 2012
101.1 and Glad I never had it easy
I'm sitting at home relaxing after a jog. It was raining for part of the run but today that made it an even better experience. Usually, I listen to podcasts like "Wall Street Journal This Morning," but today I was just using the radio tuner on my phone. When I got back from Florida, I noticed that the news radio station on 101.1 in Chicago finally went under. I had read a few weeks ago that they were trying some shuffling around as their rating were terrible and way below WBBM 780 who thwarted 101.1 launch on FM by simulcasting on 105.9. The 101.1 stations plays a lot of songs that I listened to when I was in high school and college.
The station played Aerosmith's "Amazing" for example and I remember loving that song on the video. During the jog, the words, "It's Amazing, how in the blink of an eye, you finally see the light" really stuck with me. It seems appropriate for my stage in the game right now as I'm finally seeing the light: I'm starting to experience the life of the PUA and things really are so close to what I always wanted. I don't expect to get models right now but I feel like I'm close to having a rotation of decent looking girls and hot girls seem within my reach as I've felt calm around them lately.
The Aerosmith video brings back memories:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zSmOvYzSeaQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
I remember how I thought Alicia Silverstone was so hot and I dreamed about being able to get a hot blonde. Little did I know how long that journey was gonna take back then. I knew I sucked with girls but I thought it was just phase I had to go through in high school. I thought I'd go to a prestigious university, which I did, but then I thought the key was to make a ton of money and girls would flock to you. People who aren't into game would never understand how I could never find real happiness because no matter what success I'd have, I'd still feel like I loser because I could never get a girlfriend. I was always that guy who girls would never like.
I tried success in school, making a bunch of money in a short time in 2003, and getting in great shape multiple times. I finally got my first girlfriend in 2003 and she was this attractive Polish girl who was a little crazy. When I lost her, I was devastated cause I couldn't see how I'd get another girl.
Thankfully, I found "The Game." Little did I know it would take over 7 years after discovering that book and the community for me to really start resembling a true PUA.
I sometimes get jealous when I see stuff like AndyDefresne getting hand me out lays that he sometimes doesn't even have sex with cause he claims he only wants hotter girls. He gets opened a lot. I get opened maybe once a year. I think I got opened once last summer, this girl that opened me cause of my purple silk shirt. She wanted to fuck and I screwed it up cause of inexperience. That was the only time and I went out basically the whole summer.
I realize that getting opened is nice, but it's unnecessary. When I open girls I find attractive, I get enough validation and positive feedback. The only reason my success rate isn't that great is inexperience with late game and holding myself back due to ego protection or staying in my comfort zone.
Tyler had made the point in "Blueprint" and he reiterated in in the "Hard Case Newbies" video that going through all the pain that you to as a hard case really means you can get to that high level. If you get handed stuff, you often do have the same drive to really get everything straightened out.
I've wrote before that I used to regret all the bullshit I had to deal with in high school and onward. I'm thankful now. I would have become as centered and gotten this far with the game had it not been through all that shit I had to get through, and all the negative thought patterns I had to rewire in my head.
The hard times is what makes me appreciate every little bit of progress I make in my game. Having borderline social anxiety in the past and learning to really not care what other thinks is why I can take so much rejection and how guy's AMOG's lines or girl's shit test have no effect on me. It really feels like that scene at the end of the "Matrix." People can verbally talk shit to me and it just gets absorbed by a force field because I know my own worth now and I have enough reference experiences to support the beliefs I've generated.
When I can get that force field to include being completely calm around even hot model chicks, then I will have arrived at my destination in the game. Off to make some progress tonight...
The station played Aerosmith's "Amazing" for example and I remember loving that song on the video. During the jog, the words, "It's Amazing, how in the blink of an eye, you finally see the light" really stuck with me. It seems appropriate for my stage in the game right now as I'm finally seeing the light: I'm starting to experience the life of the PUA and things really are so close to what I always wanted. I don't expect to get models right now but I feel like I'm close to having a rotation of decent looking girls and hot girls seem within my reach as I've felt calm around them lately.
The Aerosmith video brings back memories:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zSmOvYzSeaQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
I remember how I thought Alicia Silverstone was so hot and I dreamed about being able to get a hot blonde. Little did I know how long that journey was gonna take back then. I knew I sucked with girls but I thought it was just phase I had to go through in high school. I thought I'd go to a prestigious university, which I did, but then I thought the key was to make a ton of money and girls would flock to you. People who aren't into game would never understand how I could never find real happiness because no matter what success I'd have, I'd still feel like I loser because I could never get a girlfriend. I was always that guy who girls would never like.
I tried success in school, making a bunch of money in a short time in 2003, and getting in great shape multiple times. I finally got my first girlfriend in 2003 and she was this attractive Polish girl who was a little crazy. When I lost her, I was devastated cause I couldn't see how I'd get another girl.
Thankfully, I found "The Game." Little did I know it would take over 7 years after discovering that book and the community for me to really start resembling a true PUA.
I sometimes get jealous when I see stuff like AndyDefresne getting hand me out lays that he sometimes doesn't even have sex with cause he claims he only wants hotter girls. He gets opened a lot. I get opened maybe once a year. I think I got opened once last summer, this girl that opened me cause of my purple silk shirt. She wanted to fuck and I screwed it up cause of inexperience. That was the only time and I went out basically the whole summer.
I realize that getting opened is nice, but it's unnecessary. When I open girls I find attractive, I get enough validation and positive feedback. The only reason my success rate isn't that great is inexperience with late game and holding myself back due to ego protection or staying in my comfort zone.
Tyler had made the point in "Blueprint" and he reiterated in in the "Hard Case Newbies" video that going through all the pain that you to as a hard case really means you can get to that high level. If you get handed stuff, you often do have the same drive to really get everything straightened out.
I've wrote before that I used to regret all the bullshit I had to deal with in high school and onward. I'm thankful now. I would have become as centered and gotten this far with the game had it not been through all that shit I had to get through, and all the negative thought patterns I had to rewire in my head.
The hard times is what makes me appreciate every little bit of progress I make in my game. Having borderline social anxiety in the past and learning to really not care what other thinks is why I can take so much rejection and how guy's AMOG's lines or girl's shit test have no effect on me. It really feels like that scene at the end of the "Matrix." People can verbally talk shit to me and it just gets absorbed by a force field because I know my own worth now and I have enough reference experiences to support the beliefs I've generated.
When I can get that force field to include being completely calm around even hot model chicks, then I will have arrived at my destination in the game. Off to make some progress tonight...
Tall blonde remembers me from Model UN set
I met up with a bunch of wings for dollar burgers. I ended up with 2j at our usual dollar beer spot. The place was slow and devoid of the usual herd of Irish girls. We had a few sets that were highly amusing due to chodes. One the one had, we had a chode that over reacted to seeing us talking to the girls he was with. He put his arm around both of them and I immediately threw out a verbal tool. 2j and I noticed how it works as Tyler designed: he was acting all alpha but as soon as I dropped the line, it was obvious that he lost state for a second. His eyes fluctuated and his stance was less confident.
The other chode actually had his girlfriend with him. I thought this girl in the set was just being annoying by telling me the guy was the girl's boyfriend but I saw them together later. This guy wasn't even alpha enough to pull his girlfriend away from me. I remember he put his arm around her, and then I put my arm around her and she was indecisive about who to go with. If that was my girlfriend, she sure would be up on me or I would at least pull her away. Instead, one of the girls in the set told me to leave her alone cause her boyfriend was right there. I left but then I wanted to speak my mind to the girl. I said, "Hey, I'm leaving, but she's a grown woman (yes, Nintendo's line again), she can tell me herself if she wants me to go away." 2j and I laughed how the whole set had been difficult. (I had tried gaming the other girls before this one with the supposed boyfriend actually was the first to respond well to me. That's why I thought the friends were just being bitchy.) Right before that, I had opened the set with the hottest girls in the bar, yet they had been totally friendly. We lost it when the chubby girl in that set pulled them away and we never had a good opportunity to start things up again.
Number close:
2j was very helpful tonight. I was able to number close this decent looking blonde due to his help. Initially, when I opened her, this guy friend started to interfere but 2j got me more time by opening him. I started to hit it off with the blonde but this this female friend came and distracted her. 2j again came in and distracted the friend when then wandered off. I hooked my target again but decided to number close and eject. Maybe I could have stayed in, but it seemed like there were gonna be too many distractions to keep running the set.
I remember you!:
Now to the real set of the night. We were about to leave when I saw this 3-set. I thought they were Irish girls and I told 2j I wanted to open it. I was having a hard time deciding from this tall blonde who wasn't fat but wasn't totally thin either. I'd say average body but I also liked the pale brunette friend. I decided to open the girl. I opened by just introducing myself which ended up being a great move. If I had used the usual, "I wanted to meet you" it might have seemed like I say that to all the girls, which wouldn't have been good here.
As soon as I introduced myself, her eyes lit up and she said, "Oh, I'm UN Friend (that's what I'm calling her)."
She recognized me but I had no idea who she was. I figured I had opened her at some point in the last few weeks. It's funny when you think about it. I open so many sets that I often forget girls I already opened if it was a short bust out. It always surprised me when a girl remembers me; I remember this Northwestern girl a few years ago remembered me from 6 months prior.
She realized that I didn't know who she was and said, "You don't remember me do you?"
I was drawing a blank and then she started to explain, "You were here two weeks ago (it was actually like a month before), and you were talking to my friend. (She said the girl's name but that didn't help me remember). You guys were talking all night and totally hit it off. She's this short, really cute girl with black hair."
I replied, "The Model UN girl. (I remembered the set. The girl had attended the Model UN conference that this student organization at my college runs for high school students. She was totally into me and thinking back, maybe I should have escalated faster. I got blown out when I let this high school friend of hers keep talking to her instead of blowing him out or dominating the conversation earlier)."
That didn't click as this girl had no idea that Model UN girl had been in Model UN in high school so, she went on to tell me that the girl went to this college, etc. The girl then left as they said they had to meet their friend in the bathroom. That sounds like a blow off line, but I knew there was a third girl and I had seen her go to the bathroom as I was approaching.
Initially I was waiting in that same spot as 2j was one on one with a girl nearby. I then decided to move as I didn't want to look like I was standing there waiting for the girls. I saw them later and they were talking to some guy friends and I didn't want to approach. I figured I'd wait till they were done.
I waited a few minutes in the other room. There was nothing else to open so I told myself, "Come on. Grow some stones. Who gives a shit if she's talking to someone? Go in there and open her again and pull her attention from him."
I walk towards them and she happened to be not talking to anyone.
Massive IOI's:
I considered the fact that she remembered me to be a little IOI. It was good but not enough to mean anything because girls that were lukewarm have remembered me before and it didn't turn into anything. When I talked to her this second time, 2j came in to help talk to the friend. UN Friend started telling him how nice I was and how I had bought them drinks. I started laughing because it sounded AFCish how she was describing me and I knew 2j was in disbelief. I almost never buy girls drinks but in this case I had bought them beers cause this girl actually was getting two beers at the time and had offered to get me one. Model UN, my original target, was fumbling for money in her purse. She dropped a dollar on the floor and was trying to find more. I remember I just pulled out 3 bucks because it was taking too long and the drinks were cheap so I didn't mind paying.
The massive IOI's began while 2j was talking to the friend and I had mini isolation with my girl again. I put my hands on her hips and looked her in the eye and said, "I didn't remember you because I didn't talk to you much that night. I remember personality more than looks." She replied, "I felt like a third wheel that night. You two were really getting along and I didn't want to interfere."
Thinking back on that night, she had been interested in me, so this shouldn't surprise me as much as it does. Model UN girl is really cute but UN Friend is more my type generally as she's blonde and tall. Model UN had a cool personality and I remember her being smart. What made me choose her at the time was Model UN girl was aggressively vying for my attention that night. She literally had reached over UN Friend to kino me. She kept asking me questions before UN Friend could say anything and told me to come sit next to her.
I got interrupted when the black guy that was in the set earlier came in and told UN Friend to hold his beer. That little interrupt then resulted in the pale girl grabbing UN Friend's attention. I then debated whether I should go back in a 3rd time.
I wanna steal that girl's parka:
It was pouring outside at this point in the night. I had seen this girl earlier who had a bright yellow raincoat and had opened her telling her that she better be careful as someone might run off with her parka. As I'm debating entering the set for a 3rd time, I saw that same girl walking by with the parka on. I walked over to UN Friend and said, "I wanna grab that parka off that girl's back. It's like a monsoon outside."
UN friend replied, "Did you just hear me say that? (I hadn't.) Lol, I just said the same thing. I want to grab that coat."
2j and I had talked about going to this after hours club with Nintendo and Crazyfoot. I decided to throw it out there. I told the girls,"We're probably going to this after hours club after this. There's a password you can use to get in free. You guys should come with. I can drive." I learned the logistics were shitty as she said, "I have to wait for X(the black guy) and B (a short blonde that was the girl they went to meet in the bathroom at the beginning of the set)." I wasn't gonna try to move 5 people to the other bar so I went for the number close.
Here's where I got the massive IOI's I was thinking about when I titled the last section. I told her I had to go but that we should hang out again. I asked for the number and she enthusiatically agreed. I started to punch in the number and as I was getting ready to type the last two number, two text messages from Nintendo popped up. The girl exclaimed, "No" as in I hadn't punched in her number correctly. I then punched it in correctly and as we were leaving she did what we guys do when we're being chodey or when we are perhaps a little too enthusiastic about a girl. She asked me if 2j and I come to this bar every week. Then she said, "You guys should come here next week." I think I replied with a maybe and then she said, "Well, text me."
The quotes I mentioned in the report were obvious signs. Beyond that, I just got the vibe from her that she was excited that she had met me again and now had a chance with me. RSD tells us that we need to act like we are the prize. I find it a constant struggle to truly believe that as you constantly get bust outs that want to make you think it's not true. Of course, many of the bust outs aren't even under your control in the first place. I should remember this interaction whenever I have doubts in the future. It was nice to have girl excited to meet me again and simultaneously behave like she was a bit unworthy of me.
It feels arrogant to type that last sentence, but I really felt like when I number closed her, or when I was really giving her the eye contact, she was excited that I was showing interest in her, but also nervous, again like she was unworthy. I guess it makes sense. I had opened her that initial night and her friend had stole my attention away. She didn't remember the night as I did. I remember how I lost that cute brunette because I was a bit complacent when the high school friend came in and I regret that. UN Friend remembers that I hit it off with this friend she described as being this "cute and hot."
The way she described that friend, you could tell that UN Friend thinks Model UN girl is a better catch. I can't deny that Model UN girl has a way cuter face and has a petite body that guys would like more than UN Friend's. I just find it ironic that UN Friend doesn't realize she has the features that really turn me on. Yes, Model UN girl is cuter and has pale skin, which I like, but is blonde and I prefer blondes to brunette generally, and she's tall. I don't remember if she was wearing heels or not, but even if she had been wearing heels, she is taller than me. On top of that, given the choice, I would have chosen this girl that initial night, but she hadn't given me massive IOI's than night while the friend had.
I'm thinking that the story in UN Friend's head is "My friend, who is cuter than me, really hit it off with this cool guy that I liked at the time. Heck, he must have been really cool as she was so into him. Now here he is and I actually do have a chance now. Wow, he seems interested, is this real? I'm excited."
Again, I feel weird typing that, but that really was the vibe I was getting. Maybe I shouldn't feel weird. I should believe I'm a good catch and that girls would think that about me. Perhaps writing this entry is making me realize that I really haven't completely internalized that I'm the prize and I'm a high value guy. When I start really believing that, maybe I'll hesitate less and escalate more.
The other chode actually had his girlfriend with him. I thought this girl in the set was just being annoying by telling me the guy was the girl's boyfriend but I saw them together later. This guy wasn't even alpha enough to pull his girlfriend away from me. I remember he put his arm around her, and then I put my arm around her and she was indecisive about who to go with. If that was my girlfriend, she sure would be up on me or I would at least pull her away. Instead, one of the girls in the set told me to leave her alone cause her boyfriend was right there. I left but then I wanted to speak my mind to the girl. I said, "Hey, I'm leaving, but she's a grown woman (yes, Nintendo's line again), she can tell me herself if she wants me to go away." 2j and I laughed how the whole set had been difficult. (I had tried gaming the other girls before this one with the supposed boyfriend actually was the first to respond well to me. That's why I thought the friends were just being bitchy.) Right before that, I had opened the set with the hottest girls in the bar, yet they had been totally friendly. We lost it when the chubby girl in that set pulled them away and we never had a good opportunity to start things up again.
Number close:
2j was very helpful tonight. I was able to number close this decent looking blonde due to his help. Initially, when I opened her, this guy friend started to interfere but 2j got me more time by opening him. I started to hit it off with the blonde but this this female friend came and distracted her. 2j again came in and distracted the friend when then wandered off. I hooked my target again but decided to number close and eject. Maybe I could have stayed in, but it seemed like there were gonna be too many distractions to keep running the set.
I remember you!:
Now to the real set of the night. We were about to leave when I saw this 3-set. I thought they were Irish girls and I told 2j I wanted to open it. I was having a hard time deciding from this tall blonde who wasn't fat but wasn't totally thin either. I'd say average body but I also liked the pale brunette friend. I decided to open the girl. I opened by just introducing myself which ended up being a great move. If I had used the usual, "I wanted to meet you" it might have seemed like I say that to all the girls, which wouldn't have been good here.
As soon as I introduced myself, her eyes lit up and she said, "Oh, I'm UN Friend (that's what I'm calling her)."
She recognized me but I had no idea who she was. I figured I had opened her at some point in the last few weeks. It's funny when you think about it. I open so many sets that I often forget girls I already opened if it was a short bust out. It always surprised me when a girl remembers me; I remember this Northwestern girl a few years ago remembered me from 6 months prior.
She realized that I didn't know who she was and said, "You don't remember me do you?"
I was drawing a blank and then she started to explain, "You were here two weeks ago (it was actually like a month before), and you were talking to my friend. (She said the girl's name but that didn't help me remember). You guys were talking all night and totally hit it off. She's this short, really cute girl with black hair."
I replied, "The Model UN girl. (I remembered the set. The girl had attended the Model UN conference that this student organization at my college runs for high school students. She was totally into me and thinking back, maybe I should have escalated faster. I got blown out when I let this high school friend of hers keep talking to her instead of blowing him out or dominating the conversation earlier)."
That didn't click as this girl had no idea that Model UN girl had been in Model UN in high school so, she went on to tell me that the girl went to this college, etc. The girl then left as they said they had to meet their friend in the bathroom. That sounds like a blow off line, but I knew there was a third girl and I had seen her go to the bathroom as I was approaching.
Initially I was waiting in that same spot as 2j was one on one with a girl nearby. I then decided to move as I didn't want to look like I was standing there waiting for the girls. I saw them later and they were talking to some guy friends and I didn't want to approach. I figured I'd wait till they were done.
I waited a few minutes in the other room. There was nothing else to open so I told myself, "Come on. Grow some stones. Who gives a shit if she's talking to someone? Go in there and open her again and pull her attention from him."
I walk towards them and she happened to be not talking to anyone.
Massive IOI's:
I considered the fact that she remembered me to be a little IOI. It was good but not enough to mean anything because girls that were lukewarm have remembered me before and it didn't turn into anything. When I talked to her this second time, 2j came in to help talk to the friend. UN Friend started telling him how nice I was and how I had bought them drinks. I started laughing because it sounded AFCish how she was describing me and I knew 2j was in disbelief. I almost never buy girls drinks but in this case I had bought them beers cause this girl actually was getting two beers at the time and had offered to get me one. Model UN, my original target, was fumbling for money in her purse. She dropped a dollar on the floor and was trying to find more. I remember I just pulled out 3 bucks because it was taking too long and the drinks were cheap so I didn't mind paying.
The massive IOI's began while 2j was talking to the friend and I had mini isolation with my girl again. I put my hands on her hips and looked her in the eye and said, "I didn't remember you because I didn't talk to you much that night. I remember personality more than looks." She replied, "I felt like a third wheel that night. You two were really getting along and I didn't want to interfere."
Thinking back on that night, she had been interested in me, so this shouldn't surprise me as much as it does. Model UN girl is really cute but UN Friend is more my type generally as she's blonde and tall. Model UN had a cool personality and I remember her being smart. What made me choose her at the time was Model UN girl was aggressively vying for my attention that night. She literally had reached over UN Friend to kino me. She kept asking me questions before UN Friend could say anything and told me to come sit next to her.
I got interrupted when the black guy that was in the set earlier came in and told UN Friend to hold his beer. That little interrupt then resulted in the pale girl grabbing UN Friend's attention. I then debated whether I should go back in a 3rd time.
I wanna steal that girl's parka:
It was pouring outside at this point in the night. I had seen this girl earlier who had a bright yellow raincoat and had opened her telling her that she better be careful as someone might run off with her parka. As I'm debating entering the set for a 3rd time, I saw that same girl walking by with the parka on. I walked over to UN Friend and said, "I wanna grab that parka off that girl's back. It's like a monsoon outside."
UN friend replied, "Did you just hear me say that? (I hadn't.) Lol, I just said the same thing. I want to grab that coat."
2j and I had talked about going to this after hours club with Nintendo and Crazyfoot. I decided to throw it out there. I told the girls,"We're probably going to this after hours club after this. There's a password you can use to get in free. You guys should come with. I can drive." I learned the logistics were shitty as she said, "I have to wait for X(the black guy) and B (a short blonde that was the girl they went to meet in the bathroom at the beginning of the set)." I wasn't gonna try to move 5 people to the other bar so I went for the number close.
Here's where I got the massive IOI's I was thinking about when I titled the last section. I told her I had to go but that we should hang out again. I asked for the number and she enthusiatically agreed. I started to punch in the number and as I was getting ready to type the last two number, two text messages from Nintendo popped up. The girl exclaimed, "No" as in I hadn't punched in her number correctly. I then punched it in correctly and as we were leaving she did what we guys do when we're being chodey or when we are perhaps a little too enthusiastic about a girl. She asked me if 2j and I come to this bar every week. Then she said, "You guys should come here next week." I think I replied with a maybe and then she said, "Well, text me."
The quotes I mentioned in the report were obvious signs. Beyond that, I just got the vibe from her that she was excited that she had met me again and now had a chance with me. RSD tells us that we need to act like we are the prize. I find it a constant struggle to truly believe that as you constantly get bust outs that want to make you think it's not true. Of course, many of the bust outs aren't even under your control in the first place. I should remember this interaction whenever I have doubts in the future. It was nice to have girl excited to meet me again and simultaneously behave like she was a bit unworthy of me.
It feels arrogant to type that last sentence, but I really felt like when I number closed her, or when I was really giving her the eye contact, she was excited that I was showing interest in her, but also nervous, again like she was unworthy. I guess it makes sense. I had opened her that initial night and her friend had stole my attention away. She didn't remember the night as I did. I remember how I lost that cute brunette because I was a bit complacent when the high school friend came in and I regret that. UN Friend remembers that I hit it off with this friend she described as being this "cute and hot."
The way she described that friend, you could tell that UN Friend thinks Model UN girl is a better catch. I can't deny that Model UN girl has a way cuter face and has a petite body that guys would like more than UN Friend's. I just find it ironic that UN Friend doesn't realize she has the features that really turn me on. Yes, Model UN girl is cuter and has pale skin, which I like, but is blonde and I prefer blondes to brunette generally, and she's tall. I don't remember if she was wearing heels or not, but even if she had been wearing heels, she is taller than me. On top of that, given the choice, I would have chosen this girl that initial night, but she hadn't given me massive IOI's than night while the friend had.
I'm thinking that the story in UN Friend's head is "My friend, who is cuter than me, really hit it off with this cool guy that I liked at the time. Heck, he must have been really cool as she was so into him. Now here he is and I actually do have a chance now. Wow, he seems interested, is this real? I'm excited."
Again, I feel weird typing that, but that really was the vibe I was getting. Maybe I shouldn't feel weird. I should believe I'm a good catch and that girls would think that about me. Perhaps writing this entry is making me realize that I really haven't completely internalized that I'm the prize and I'm a high value guy. When I start really believing that, maybe I'll hesitate less and escalate more.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Long 2 venue set+Escalation Failures Show up again...
Tuesday was a fun day and night with the wings. We started off at the beach. Nintendo had worked himself into a bad mood initially as the bus and bad planning made us late, but things all worked out. Even better, while waiting for the bus after dropping off my rental car, I opened this 2-set that happened to be standing there. It was two cute Slovakian girls that have only been in Chicago for two weeks. I seem to fear day game less with I'm with Nintendo. I ended up sitting next to them on the bus and then number closing. I give myself credit for sitting next to them on the bus. I debated it for a second, and Nintendo sat across, but I knew they were into me so I sat next to them. This is a promising set as well as they have been very responsive to our texts and it looks like we should meet up with them on Sunday.
At the beach, I got trashed. Early on, I opened two sets that walked by. This is a big leap for me as I've always feared beach game. I still got a way to go to be ripped, but I should be confident in myself now. I opened girls shirt less and it wasn't a big deal. To think back about how I always was self conscious of my body and being able to sarge now shirtless show big progress. Yes, I've gotten into better shape, but it's a bigger step mentally and I should use that as a reason to be more confident in general.
I need to lead the girls around the bar and escalate:
This sums up my problem right now and why I don't get laid enough. It's a problem that has always been around. I had made strides in tackling it but the layoff to go to visit my mother seems to have set me back. I need to remember that I don't need a real reason to drag the girl with me around the bar. I find it easier if there is a beer garden or dance floor, but in the bar we went to last night, I could have just said, "Let's go to the bar" or "Come here, I wanna show you something."
The first 2-set was this one I opened as soon as we walked in. AndyDufresne came in and winged me. The set was going well but Andy walked away. I stayed for a bit but then I ejected and opened another set. I saw Andy go back in later on so I joined him. He moved the set to the table. I was vibing really well with my girl but my kino was weak. Part of the problem was we were at a table and I wasn't close enough to put my arm around her etc. I did touch her arm a few times but that's weak kino.
At the time, I thought that I was into the girl but I wasn't getting the massive doggy dinner bowl look. When I get that look, it's way easier to escalate. I have to learn that you don't need signals; I'm watching Ozzie's bit in Transformations to have that sink in more. Moreover, hot girls will give you few or no signals. You just have to escalate anyway.
Part of me wanted to blame not being that into the girl, but she was attractive and I wanted to fuck her. She just didn't turn me on as much as the blondes on Monday, but that's no reason not to try to escalate. At the very least, I should escalate for practice, but I was just choding around here regardless (I wanted to hook up with her). In any case, the problem is that I needed to get even closer to her so I could put my arm around her. I needed to just move her to the bar or something and/or move my chair closer. A lot of the problems would be fixed if I had been up on the girl man-to-woman instead of this friend-to-friend bullshit. I'd bet turned on by touching her and really look into her eyes. She'd also be more into me and then I'd get the signals that I don't need to be looking for anyway.
I also didn't number closer her because she was leaving at the end of the week. I violated what I said I was gonna start doing which was to take more phone numbers and just hit them up cause we don't know what can happen unless we try.
Yes, AndyDufresne could have helped by agreeing to try to extract the set. He claimed he wasn't feeling well, but regardless, it's all up to me. Yes, wings can help but ultimately, I need to isolate and escalate my girl. The pain I've felt all day for not escalating enough Tuesday is gonna make me improve.
Crazyfoot 2-set:
Although I'm beating myself up for Tuesday's failure, I should be happy about the night. In terms of results, I'm doing better; I just need to stop holding myself back and I'd get more lays. Not too long after that 2-set left, Crazyfoot (this wing I haven't had a name for till recently) asked me if I could help him with this girl that was into him. He pointed out this black girl and asked if I was inter her enough to wing for him. I said that I wasn't doing shit standing around here and I'd be happy to wing for him regardless of what the girl looked like.
Crazyfoot's girl was really into him. I vibed well with my girl too. She intelligent and has the positive energy that I do as well. I did more kino here in that I eventually held her hand, and I had put my arm around her and touched her legs but I didn't kiss her. I know I could have and should have.
The bar hit closing time and when the girls walked off to talk to some guy that supposedly really was some rap artist named Kid Cudi (sic) or Cutti (sic?), I told Crazyfoot that we should venue change this set. He told them we should go to this piano bar down the street.
I still get anxious when it's time to venue change as I know there's so many ways to lose it. I should have number closed my girl earlier; I'm sure that not having her number had added to the anxiety. Crazyfoot said the girl agreed so we walked out with them. We were thrown a curb ball when Crazyfoot couldn't get into the after hours place but I threw out the Division bars. I suggested a cab as I figured the girls wouldn't want to walk 6 blocks, and I even saw a bus pull up as we were talking a suggested we hop on. The girls said they didn't have enough on their transit card. Crazyfoot then said he had his car there, which I had forgotten about, and we went to the car and to the other bar.
I chose this bar that I took promoter girl to on a Tuesday as it had the best drink deal for what I was willing to drink that night. Now, I wish I would have went to a more lively venue with a dance floor. I probably would have escalated and kissed this girl as I later learned she liked dancing. We had a dead venue instead that felt like day game, though I at least touched her more when we were sitting in this booth.
We ended up giving the girls a ride home as mine lived close and Crazyfoot's girl happened to live near Nintendo's place, which is where I had to be dropped off.
I did about a 5/10 in escalation but I missed the kiss close due to my own escalation problems that I thought I had gotten over. We also made small logistical errors due to inexperience but we just need to learn from those and not brow beat ourselves.
Overall, I should be happy that we had a solid day game number close and had two long sets. I'm definitely not a newbie as most of my days feature sets that are really into me. If I just lead more and stop hesitating, I'll have the results I'm looking for and more lays.
At the beach, I got trashed. Early on, I opened two sets that walked by. This is a big leap for me as I've always feared beach game. I still got a way to go to be ripped, but I should be confident in myself now. I opened girls shirt less and it wasn't a big deal. To think back about how I always was self conscious of my body and being able to sarge now shirtless show big progress. Yes, I've gotten into better shape, but it's a bigger step mentally and I should use that as a reason to be more confident in general.
I need to lead the girls around the bar and escalate:
This sums up my problem right now and why I don't get laid enough. It's a problem that has always been around. I had made strides in tackling it but the layoff to go to visit my mother seems to have set me back. I need to remember that I don't need a real reason to drag the girl with me around the bar. I find it easier if there is a beer garden or dance floor, but in the bar we went to last night, I could have just said, "Let's go to the bar" or "Come here, I wanna show you something."
The first 2-set was this one I opened as soon as we walked in. AndyDufresne came in and winged me. The set was going well but Andy walked away. I stayed for a bit but then I ejected and opened another set. I saw Andy go back in later on so I joined him. He moved the set to the table. I was vibing really well with my girl but my kino was weak. Part of the problem was we were at a table and I wasn't close enough to put my arm around her etc. I did touch her arm a few times but that's weak kino.
At the time, I thought that I was into the girl but I wasn't getting the massive doggy dinner bowl look. When I get that look, it's way easier to escalate. I have to learn that you don't need signals; I'm watching Ozzie's bit in Transformations to have that sink in more. Moreover, hot girls will give you few or no signals. You just have to escalate anyway.
Part of me wanted to blame not being that into the girl, but she was attractive and I wanted to fuck her. She just didn't turn me on as much as the blondes on Monday, but that's no reason not to try to escalate. At the very least, I should escalate for practice, but I was just choding around here regardless (I wanted to hook up with her). In any case, the problem is that I needed to get even closer to her so I could put my arm around her. I needed to just move her to the bar or something and/or move my chair closer. A lot of the problems would be fixed if I had been up on the girl man-to-woman instead of this friend-to-friend bullshit. I'd bet turned on by touching her and really look into her eyes. She'd also be more into me and then I'd get the signals that I don't need to be looking for anyway.
I also didn't number closer her because she was leaving at the end of the week. I violated what I said I was gonna start doing which was to take more phone numbers and just hit them up cause we don't know what can happen unless we try.
Yes, AndyDufresne could have helped by agreeing to try to extract the set. He claimed he wasn't feeling well, but regardless, it's all up to me. Yes, wings can help but ultimately, I need to isolate and escalate my girl. The pain I've felt all day for not escalating enough Tuesday is gonna make me improve.
Crazyfoot 2-set:
Although I'm beating myself up for Tuesday's failure, I should be happy about the night. In terms of results, I'm doing better; I just need to stop holding myself back and I'd get more lays. Not too long after that 2-set left, Crazyfoot (this wing I haven't had a name for till recently) asked me if I could help him with this girl that was into him. He pointed out this black girl and asked if I was inter her enough to wing for him. I said that I wasn't doing shit standing around here and I'd be happy to wing for him regardless of what the girl looked like.
Crazyfoot's girl was really into him. I vibed well with my girl too. She intelligent and has the positive energy that I do as well. I did more kino here in that I eventually held her hand, and I had put my arm around her and touched her legs but I didn't kiss her. I know I could have and should have.
The bar hit closing time and when the girls walked off to talk to some guy that supposedly really was some rap artist named Kid Cudi (sic) or Cutti (sic?), I told Crazyfoot that we should venue change this set. He told them we should go to this piano bar down the street.
I still get anxious when it's time to venue change as I know there's so many ways to lose it. I should have number closed my girl earlier; I'm sure that not having her number had added to the anxiety. Crazyfoot said the girl agreed so we walked out with them. We were thrown a curb ball when Crazyfoot couldn't get into the after hours place but I threw out the Division bars. I suggested a cab as I figured the girls wouldn't want to walk 6 blocks, and I even saw a bus pull up as we were talking a suggested we hop on. The girls said they didn't have enough on their transit card. Crazyfoot then said he had his car there, which I had forgotten about, and we went to the car and to the other bar.
I chose this bar that I took promoter girl to on a Tuesday as it had the best drink deal for what I was willing to drink that night. Now, I wish I would have went to a more lively venue with a dance floor. I probably would have escalated and kissed this girl as I later learned she liked dancing. We had a dead venue instead that felt like day game, though I at least touched her more when we were sitting in this booth.
We ended up giving the girls a ride home as mine lived close and Crazyfoot's girl happened to live near Nintendo's place, which is where I had to be dropped off.
I did about a 5/10 in escalation but I missed the kiss close due to my own escalation problems that I thought I had gotten over. We also made small logistical errors due to inexperience but we just need to learn from those and not brow beat ourselves.
Overall, I should be happy that we had a solid day game number close and had two long sets. I'm definitely not a newbie as most of my days feature sets that are really into me. If I just lead more and stop hesitating, I'll have the results I'm looking for and more lays.
Hotties touch me & Kicked out of VIP section
Monday night was an exciting night with both positive and negative experiences that I fell helped me grow a ton. I started the night by getting right up to the roof top area. Nintendo and AndyDufresne didn't get in as the bouncer fed them the BS "We're at capacity upstairs." I realized that bouncer talk to tell you they are rejecting you from going into area; I had heard this same BS at this place in Atlanta. The upstairs was about half full but they didn't want to let too many people up there.
I had spotted this tall brunette that I wanted to sarge but this old guy at this table service kept talking to her. I remember going in to try to talk to her but she was boxed way into the table so I opened some other brunette who ended up being married. I mention this set as I would approach the tall girl later and get my negative, fun, learning experience.
Two hot blondes love me:
The two sets that stuck out in my head were these two thin blondes. They were solid HB 8's in m book. Yes, I love redheads, but blondes are a very close second. In my report about Tuesday, I'll complain about how I sometimes don't feel sets are "on" sometimes. I realized that while I'd fuck a wide variety of girls, there is a certain type that turns me on physically and of course I can be stimulated by their personality as well. These two blondes were the type that just physically turn me on from the beginning.
I can tell I've grown in that I remember being completely calm with these girls that were my perfect type. There were many nights in the past where I would have avoided opening these girls because they seemed too hot to me. More recently, I approach almost every girl I want to open, but I often will screw things up early since I'm so attracted. In these two sets, I was completely calm. The first set, I was doing verbal vomiting (as RSD Brad call it). I was just spewing random stuff that was coming in my head. She made comments about me throwing out random stuff but I could tell she was enjoying it. I ended up losing the set because my wings couldn't keep the friends occupied. I knew she liked me cause she was reluctant to leave.
Hesistation screwed me again here. The friend said they were going downstairs and the friend even asked me to join. I remember putting my arm around the blonde which she resisted at that particular moment so then I became afraid to follow them confidently downstairs. I have to just start assuming attraction and walking with the set anyway and seeing what happens. I did see this girl again at the second bar but couldn't get further.
The other blonde was this thin blonde who actually seemed smart and was well travelled. I opened this 2-set that apparently Nintendo had already approached. He clicked for a bit with the brunette. I was all up in this blonde's face and she was loving me. She kept smiling and giggling and, more importantly, she kept touching me. Of course I've had sets be totally into me off the beginning but I can't recall a set where it was a blonde like this who again was totally my type.
I remember telling my wings, "Wow, that's so crazy. I should believe, but it's so amazing that a girl I find totally fucking hot just won't stop touching me from the open."
I lost the set because Nintendo stalled with the brunette and then she dragged my girl away. I should have followed them to the table. I did open them again later in the night.
I'd rather get rejected than have regrets:
That's what goes through my head when I see sets that I am a bit hesitant to open. This was true of the second blonde. I finally saw her again and she was dancing on the side of the VIP area. We were ready to leave and I wanted to try again as I knew she was really into me before. I didn't like how her 3 friends were in total party mode dancing up on this divider. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't try so I made myself approach.
I grabbed up at her and she leaned down and say, "Hey, I remember you!" I said something like, "No, we are not going to go play doctor yet. (this was a little joke that I came up with as we had been talking about how she was taking anatomy classes)."
Nintendo admitted in a debrief that his ego preventing him from trying to help me wing this set. The brunette he had been talking to was right next to my girl and no one did anything to help me wing. She then grabbed my girl off me. I waited and tried again, but this time my blonde was less enthusiastic. I am happy I tried, but driving home, I realized I could have done this set better. When I went to open again, I could have done what I did, but then I should have jumped up on the divider and danced with her. Either that, or I should have went to the VIP section and opened her and then pulled her down.
I have a cold war fetish:
Midway through the night at the second club, we were all outside in the smoking area just taking a mental break (as none of us smoke). These two Ukrainian girls walked by and naturally I opened them. I guessed wrong that they were Polish and they kept walking to the other end of the smoking section. The blonde came back asking for a smoke and one of wings pretended to light her cigarette as a way to tease her. It got a laugh out of all but she wandered off to get a real light.
My wings didn't go back to approach, so I went in. I opened them again by saying, "Hey. I have to admit, I have a cold war fetish. I like Russian girls..." I hit it off with this blonde. She was into museums and we had an engaging talk. She mentioned she was going to the MCA on Tuesday and I probably should have pushed for a solid meet up but just number closed instead. My wing (who I'm getting a screen name for as he features in Tuesday's report) did a good job of engaging the other girl but eventually they wanted to go back inside. I suppose I could have lead my girl inside before that happened. Leading is still a big problem for me and I need to focus on working on that.
Chode's move is to get me kicked out of the VIP section:
Back at the first place, I finally approached the tall brunette downstairs by this table area. The upstairs had closed as open air areas have to close by midnight in the city limits of Chicago. I started talking to the tall brunette. She was eating a bagel and wasn't giving me much response but I kept plowing. Suddenly, this bouncer taps my shoulder and says, "You have to get out of here."
Nintendo and another wing got the same treatment from the same two chodes at the second bar. Apparently, any time guys start talking to girls in their group, these guys just go tell the bouncers that guys are bothering them. Nintendo and I both get angry that some dumb chode does this but I also get motivated. Dumb chodes only know how to use money and bottle service to have girls around them and they are terrified that cool guys will steal their girls. Sure, they blew us out now but what they don't realize is that naturals or PUA's will pull these girls when the chodes aren't around. Their little sweetie will cheat on their lame asses. It makes me want to sarge more girls with boyfriends just to stick it to all the chodes out there. (Yes, I feel this way partly because I was achode and in their mind set so I get triggered by it).
Nintendo was pissed but he decided not to say anything because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself. He does go off as he admits he isn't as centered as I am when he gets angry or when people talk to shit to him. I feel the need need to speak my mind because I hate any type of bullying. Remember that I used to be a total pushover wuss in high school that let people walk all over me and bully me. There was no way I wasn't gonna give the bouncers some shit, especially because they way they kicked me out of there was rude.
I agree with Nintendo that most guys should just walk away. I feel like I need to speak my mind for the reasons above, but also I can do in the right way. I project my voice loud, but I don't start swearing or getting physically aggressive. They way I responded was similar to how I deal with AMOGs or guys starting some shit with me. I stand my ground in a way that they can't really do anything about as I'm being polite. The wrong way would be to get physical or start insulting and swearing as it just gives them a reason to boot you out and/or get physical.
Here's what I remember of what happened:
Bouncer: You have to get out of here.
Me: (I walked away from the table.) What did I do?
Bouncer: (No response.)
Me: Oh, I get it. Some guy got jealous that I was talking to his girl? Lol. She's a grown woman. She can tell me when she doesn't want to talk to me.
Bouncer: Get out of here (meaning this area, not the bar).
Me: Wow, take it easy. (I looked around and saw two other bouncers by me.) Lol. You seriously need 3 guys to kick me out of there. Rofl. (I was laughing really loudly).
(I wish I would have been more sarcastic. As I thought about the evening, I wished I would have added, "Newsflash at 10pm. A thin Asian guy was talking to someone's girl and a SWAT team and the National Guard were called in."
I finally just walked away and that's when I started to get pissed and started texting my wings. I still get a little pissed at the chode. Thinking back on it, I bet the guys lie to the bouncers and say we were really bothering them. I remember in the smoking room of the second bar, Nintendo saw one of the chodes talking to a bouncer outside. Nintendo wanted to talk shit, and I was almost ready to join him. I said if we were going to do it, we should leave and outside we'd talk shit to him so the bouncers couldn't even kick us out as we were already outside. Nintendo decided to be smart and not say anything and that was the wise move. As I wrote above, we'll get back at these guys when we hook up with girls in the future. When I found out a girl has a boyfriend, I'll just think it's a chode like this. Heck, that bisexual Russian girl I made out with a few weeks ago is probably dating some chode like these dudes.
I enjoyed how the bouncers don't know what to do when dealing with me. I sure they expect me to just be intimidated by their stare downs and because they speak in breaking rapport tonality and are twice my size. The only thing they know how to do is use brute force against someone who is being combative or to intimidate. I feel that the way I deal with them frustrates them, or in the case of bouncers on Division street, makes them like me. Again, I speak my mind loudly (It's funny I have problems with vocal projection sometimes, yet project so perfectly when I get worked up in these situations). I look they right in the eye and they can see I have no fear. As I told my wings, in these cases, they can't do shit. What are they gonna do, beat me up in front of everyone for doing nothing? I hope they do so I can sue the bar and get free money. No, they can't do anything because I'm speaking my mind loudly but I'm not swearing or threatening. I was even tooling them for needing 3 guys. Heck, thinking back, I could have tooled them more with Tyler AMOG shit that I use on normal guys. I could have said, "Okay, you can take it easy with the stare down and alpha pose. I'm not threatening you. This isn't a stare down contest. I'm here to have fun at the bar not have a bench pressing contest."
I'll just close by saying I feel like the way I handled it let me stay true to my need to not get intimidated or bullied and to speak my mind. I also handled the bouncers in a way that gets them into a social "does not compute" mode. They didn't know what to do for a bit except stare at me and it frustrated them that they looks and breaking rapport wasn't having the usual affect on me as it does to most guys.
I had spotted this tall brunette that I wanted to sarge but this old guy at this table service kept talking to her. I remember going in to try to talk to her but she was boxed way into the table so I opened some other brunette who ended up being married. I mention this set as I would approach the tall girl later and get my negative, fun, learning experience.
Two hot blondes love me:
The two sets that stuck out in my head were these two thin blondes. They were solid HB 8's in m book. Yes, I love redheads, but blondes are a very close second. In my report about Tuesday, I'll complain about how I sometimes don't feel sets are "on" sometimes. I realized that while I'd fuck a wide variety of girls, there is a certain type that turns me on physically and of course I can be stimulated by their personality as well. These two blondes were the type that just physically turn me on from the beginning.
I can tell I've grown in that I remember being completely calm with these girls that were my perfect type. There were many nights in the past where I would have avoided opening these girls because they seemed too hot to me. More recently, I approach almost every girl I want to open, but I often will screw things up early since I'm so attracted. In these two sets, I was completely calm. The first set, I was doing verbal vomiting (as RSD Brad call it). I was just spewing random stuff that was coming in my head. She made comments about me throwing out random stuff but I could tell she was enjoying it. I ended up losing the set because my wings couldn't keep the friends occupied. I knew she liked me cause she was reluctant to leave.
Hesistation screwed me again here. The friend said they were going downstairs and the friend even asked me to join. I remember putting my arm around the blonde which she resisted at that particular moment so then I became afraid to follow them confidently downstairs. I have to just start assuming attraction and walking with the set anyway and seeing what happens. I did see this girl again at the second bar but couldn't get further.
The other blonde was this thin blonde who actually seemed smart and was well travelled. I opened this 2-set that apparently Nintendo had already approached. He clicked for a bit with the brunette. I was all up in this blonde's face and she was loving me. She kept smiling and giggling and, more importantly, she kept touching me. Of course I've had sets be totally into me off the beginning but I can't recall a set where it was a blonde like this who again was totally my type.
I remember telling my wings, "Wow, that's so crazy. I should believe, but it's so amazing that a girl I find totally fucking hot just won't stop touching me from the open."
I lost the set because Nintendo stalled with the brunette and then she dragged my girl away. I should have followed them to the table. I did open them again later in the night.
I'd rather get rejected than have regrets:
That's what goes through my head when I see sets that I am a bit hesitant to open. This was true of the second blonde. I finally saw her again and she was dancing on the side of the VIP area. We were ready to leave and I wanted to try again as I knew she was really into me before. I didn't like how her 3 friends were in total party mode dancing up on this divider. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't try so I made myself approach.
I grabbed up at her and she leaned down and say, "Hey, I remember you!" I said something like, "No, we are not going to go play doctor yet. (this was a little joke that I came up with as we had been talking about how she was taking anatomy classes)."
Nintendo admitted in a debrief that his ego preventing him from trying to help me wing this set. The brunette he had been talking to was right next to my girl and no one did anything to help me wing. She then grabbed my girl off me. I waited and tried again, but this time my blonde was less enthusiastic. I am happy I tried, but driving home, I realized I could have done this set better. When I went to open again, I could have done what I did, but then I should have jumped up on the divider and danced with her. Either that, or I should have went to the VIP section and opened her and then pulled her down.
I have a cold war fetish:
Midway through the night at the second club, we were all outside in the smoking area just taking a mental break (as none of us smoke). These two Ukrainian girls walked by and naturally I opened them. I guessed wrong that they were Polish and they kept walking to the other end of the smoking section. The blonde came back asking for a smoke and one of wings pretended to light her cigarette as a way to tease her. It got a laugh out of all but she wandered off to get a real light.
My wings didn't go back to approach, so I went in. I opened them again by saying, "Hey. I have to admit, I have a cold war fetish. I like Russian girls..." I hit it off with this blonde. She was into museums and we had an engaging talk. She mentioned she was going to the MCA on Tuesday and I probably should have pushed for a solid meet up but just number closed instead. My wing (who I'm getting a screen name for as he features in Tuesday's report) did a good job of engaging the other girl but eventually they wanted to go back inside. I suppose I could have lead my girl inside before that happened. Leading is still a big problem for me and I need to focus on working on that.
Chode's move is to get me kicked out of the VIP section:
Back at the first place, I finally approached the tall brunette downstairs by this table area. The upstairs had closed as open air areas have to close by midnight in the city limits of Chicago. I started talking to the tall brunette. She was eating a bagel and wasn't giving me much response but I kept plowing. Suddenly, this bouncer taps my shoulder and says, "You have to get out of here."
Nintendo and another wing got the same treatment from the same two chodes at the second bar. Apparently, any time guys start talking to girls in their group, these guys just go tell the bouncers that guys are bothering them. Nintendo and I both get angry that some dumb chode does this but I also get motivated. Dumb chodes only know how to use money and bottle service to have girls around them and they are terrified that cool guys will steal their girls. Sure, they blew us out now but what they don't realize is that naturals or PUA's will pull these girls when the chodes aren't around. Their little sweetie will cheat on their lame asses. It makes me want to sarge more girls with boyfriends just to stick it to all the chodes out there. (Yes, I feel this way partly because I was achode and in their mind set so I get triggered by it).
Nintendo was pissed but he decided not to say anything because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself. He does go off as he admits he isn't as centered as I am when he gets angry or when people talk to shit to him. I feel the need need to speak my mind because I hate any type of bullying. Remember that I used to be a total pushover wuss in high school that let people walk all over me and bully me. There was no way I wasn't gonna give the bouncers some shit, especially because they way they kicked me out of there was rude.
I agree with Nintendo that most guys should just walk away. I feel like I need to speak my mind for the reasons above, but also I can do in the right way. I project my voice loud, but I don't start swearing or getting physically aggressive. They way I responded was similar to how I deal with AMOGs or guys starting some shit with me. I stand my ground in a way that they can't really do anything about as I'm being polite. The wrong way would be to get physical or start insulting and swearing as it just gives them a reason to boot you out and/or get physical.
Here's what I remember of what happened:
Bouncer: You have to get out of here.
Me: (I walked away from the table.) What did I do?
Bouncer: (No response.)
Me: Oh, I get it. Some guy got jealous that I was talking to his girl? Lol. She's a grown woman. She can tell me when she doesn't want to talk to me.
Bouncer: Get out of here (meaning this area, not the bar).
Me: Wow, take it easy. (I looked around and saw two other bouncers by me.) Lol. You seriously need 3 guys to kick me out of there. Rofl. (I was laughing really loudly).
(I wish I would have been more sarcastic. As I thought about the evening, I wished I would have added, "Newsflash at 10pm. A thin Asian guy was talking to someone's girl and a SWAT team and the National Guard were called in."
I finally just walked away and that's when I started to get pissed and started texting my wings. I still get a little pissed at the chode. Thinking back on it, I bet the guys lie to the bouncers and say we were really bothering them. I remember in the smoking room of the second bar, Nintendo saw one of the chodes talking to a bouncer outside. Nintendo wanted to talk shit, and I was almost ready to join him. I said if we were going to do it, we should leave and outside we'd talk shit to him so the bouncers couldn't even kick us out as we were already outside. Nintendo decided to be smart and not say anything and that was the wise move. As I wrote above, we'll get back at these guys when we hook up with girls in the future. When I found out a girl has a boyfriend, I'll just think it's a chode like this. Heck, that bisexual Russian girl I made out with a few weeks ago is probably dating some chode like these dudes.
I enjoyed how the bouncers don't know what to do when dealing with me. I sure they expect me to just be intimidated by their stare downs and because they speak in breaking rapport tonality and are twice my size. The only thing they know how to do is use brute force against someone who is being combative or to intimidate. I feel that the way I deal with them frustrates them, or in the case of bouncers on Division street, makes them like me. Again, I speak my mind loudly (It's funny I have problems with vocal projection sometimes, yet project so perfectly when I get worked up in these situations). I look they right in the eye and they can see I have no fear. As I told my wings, in these cases, they can't do shit. What are they gonna do, beat me up in front of everyone for doing nothing? I hope they do so I can sue the bar and get free money. No, they can't do anything because I'm speaking my mind loudly but I'm not swearing or threatening. I was even tooling them for needing 3 guys. Heck, thinking back, I could have tooled them more with Tyler AMOG shit that I use on normal guys. I could have said, "Okay, you can take it easy with the stare down and alpha pose. I'm not threatening you. This isn't a stare down contest. I'm here to have fun at the bar not have a bench pressing contest."
I'll just close by saying I feel like the way I handled it let me stay true to my need to not get intimidated or bullied and to speak my mind. I also handled the bouncers in a way that gets them into a social "does not compute" mode. They didn't know what to do for a bit except stare at me and it frustrated them that they looks and breaking rapport wasn't having the usual affect on me as it does to most guys.
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