Friday, I went out with a much better attitude. I think I needed the drunken Thursday to put me back into the right mind set. The mind set is I just have to give my best effort that I can on any given day and trust that the results will happen and that I'll learn from my experiences. I gave the best effort I could again. I know I could do better but I also know that I was pushing myself as hard as I could. There were times when I could feel myself holding back when I'd try stopping moving sets, but I'd recognize that and try to do better. The best effort doesn't mean trying my hardest. It doesn't mean that the effort is the best I'm ever capable of, but it's the best I can muster that night.
Bad luck with married girls:
Chode & his wife:
That seemed to be the theme. Early on, I had this HB7 who was really high buying temperature in one of the first sets I opened. 2j came in just as this guy had come into my set. 2j noticed too that she was high buying temperature with him as well. We laughed later at how AFC the guy was. Despite it being his wife, I had successfully tooled him initially. I backed off once I realized she had a ring and she said it really was her husband. The guy was a massive chode though because 2j told me that the moron told him something like, "Yeah, if you sold your house, maybe you could afford a ring like this." This guy came up when we were talking about social conditioning. The girl was decent but an HB7 at best as 2j rated her, and he felt it was such a massive accomplishment to hook her that he had to brag about his ring to 2j. On top of that, he wasn't satisfying her as she was so high buying temperature into any real guy, in this case both 2j and I. Also, only some chump would brag about the right in the way he did. I added that a really rich guy would never say that either so the ring probably wasn't as expensive as he was making it to be. I bet Sidegame's rings were bigger.
I'm marrying a Filipino guy:
At the second venue, I had this dirty blonde girl really hooked. I mean, the eye contact and dogger dinner bowl look was there. She was comfortable with me holding her hands. I was all up on her and had her pulled into me so I was grinding her as we swayed to the music a bit an talked. 2j commented how into me the girl was. The problem was that she was engaged. She told me she was marrying a Filipino guy, which I said explained some of the attraction. Like I'm attracted to redheads in a weird way, she must similarly have a fetish for Filipino guys.
I could tell she was a bit worried about what her friends were thinking. I used the Julien line early on telling her to tell them that I was her gay friend. She never did that but I heard her saying that she wasn't gonna make out with me. I kept trying to get her away from the friends and try to make out but I couldn't make it happen. I even opened her 3 other times and suggested pull ideas but it was a no go.
This was just another one of those bad luck situation. If she were single or maybe if she weren't out with these friends, this would be a likely pull.
Massively hooked and married Irish girl:
There was this girl of Irish decent that had hair that looked reddish to me. She said she wasn't a redhead, so I'd say it was more she had the redhead complexion. I guess her hair was more blonde but she had the pale skin and freckles. I remember seeing her downstairs early on in the night. I opened her and she was obviously high buying temperature. Of course I was all up on her. She told me she was married and I did feel a ring. I kept holding her and dancing with her because I don't care that she married. I've mentioned it before, but I guess I think of marriage as some AFC institution. If the guy sucks so badly that his wife will cheat on him, then I'll provide the opportunity because I don't have a problem with it. On top of that, I'll say I have the Johnny Soporno attitude (some guy I saw on the Lovesystems forum that talks about how he has several sexual relations with married women or guys that have boyfriends). I feel like I'd just be fulfilling some desires of the girl that the guy doesn't meet. I don't want her to leave the husband for me. I just want her to have a night of fantasy and strangely, if she could get that from me, she could be happy with her husband. Guys get all stupid when they cheat often times in their marriage and end up getting divorced. Women are known for keeping it secret and continuing the marriage.
This girl told me she was with her cousin. I tried painting a picture where I said I didn't judge, no one would know, and she could tell her cousin she knew me from college. Eventually, the girl wandered off. I saw her one time and opened her again but I couldn't get anywhere.
At the end of the night, I saw her by the entrance and I again tried to pull. She exclaimed, "I'm married." I told her we should grab food but she wouldn't go for it. As we were leaving, I saw her sitting down by the stairs by the entrance. I sat down next to her and said, "I don't give up easily." She smiled. I grabbed her hand. She was fine with that as she had been all night. I stroked her face. She didn't resist. I went for the kiss. For a moment, I thought she was gonna go for it. She looked into my eyes, and didn't resist initially. As my face neared her mouth, she turned away and said, "I'm married." I replied, "No one will know." I suppose, to her credit, she said, "I'd know. I have morals." At that, I finally gave up.
I'll say that I was surprised how she almost went for it. If you had asked me what I expected the response to be, I thought there was decent chance she would kiss me. She was giving me all the signs I'd normal get indicating a kiss was likely to succeed. I thought if it failed, she'd pull away fiercely or she'd reject it right off the bat.
It's obvious that she was hooked and into me but she just didn't want to cheat on her husband. The evidence is that part of her wanted it when she didn't resist it as I initially started going on. She knows what it looks like when a guy is going for the kiss. If she didn't want it at all, she would have stopped it right there. Nintendo talked about sets recently where he went for the kiss an the girl snapped her head back really quickly. No, she wanted it. Even when she rejected it, she did it gently. I have gotten way worse responses than that in the past.
I got screwed again by this girl being married. Why could I have hooked a girl like this who was single?
Redhead that I think winded up with a bouncer:
I guess I did have this girl massively hooked who was single. I just screwed it up. Early in the night, there was this redhead walking by me. She was in a train of two other girls. Usually, that's a shitty setup to try to stop a girl that is following two other girls. Often, I won't even try to stop the girl as I know it's unlikely to succeed, but I wanted this girl. I stopped her and she stopped. I pulled her in and she was into me off the bat. We talked for a few minutes and danced a bit.
This was an example of how you don't have to understand what the girl is saying and can talk gibberish. I could only hear part of what she was saying so a few times I just responded with stuff that couldn't have been related to what she was saying. I just kept up the physicality and eye contact and it was on. I then decided to move her to the dance floor.
Suddenly, this friend swooped in out of nowhere and dragged her away. Nintendo said, "That's good because you didn't make out with her."
I told him that you don't always have to make out with a girl right away. 2j agreed that Nintendo is often too focused on fast escalation game. You can wait to kiss the girl. The only time it screws you is if you want to kiss the girl and then don't; it's because she can see that you are hesitating. I knew I could probably kiss the girl but I didn't want to do it then and I didn't feel like I had to so it wasn't ruining the set. It's debatable whether I should have kissed her nor not though. Maybe if I had, she wouldn't have let the girl pull her away or maybe I would have acted better when the cockblock happened. In any case, I todl Nintendo that instead of thinking about how I should have kissed the girl, he should have intercepted the cockblock.
Much later in the night I spotted her again. I wasn't sure it was her so I think I lost a few points when she called me out for not remember her name. I plowed on and tried to move her to the dance floor. She followed me for like 10 seconds and then started saying she had to stay with her friends. This time, I told the friend, "I'm gonna borrow her for a few minutes." The friend agreed this time, but then I got cockblocked because the girl started to resist going with me now that the friends were around.
I think maybe I should have kissed her this second time before I tried moving her to the dance floor. Maybe that would have put her at ease. I also think I lost state a bit when she called me out for forgetting her name. I know I could have reacted better than I did.
I also should have tried going in again but I didn't see her until later. I saw this big black bouncer sitting with a redhead near the end of the night. He was talking to her on the couch downstairs. I'm about 85% sure it was my girl. It's obvious then that she was horny and looking for a guy. That's a bit frustrating.
I had this set hooked but got screwed initially. I should have been looking out for the cockblock friend. I had, after all, stopped the 3rd girl in a moving 3 set so I should have expected the friends to come looking for her. The dragaway happened so quickly, but I should have found a way to intercept the friend. Barring that, I could have followed them and re initiated and got introduced to the friends then.
As I said above, I also could have went back a 3rd time after I lost her the second time. I got distracted by other sets, but I should have waited 5 minutes and went back in instead of wandering off and losing them.
Closing thoughts:
I should take away the good reference points that I had. I bitch a lot about failures, and the redhead failure is frustrating. Still, I should feel good that at least three girls were massively into me. I say at least because I had other sets hooked as well, but not like these three. As I wrote above, the engaged girl and the Irish married girl would have made out with me and likely could have been a pull had they not been married. They almost made out with me despite being committed. How can I feel bad about that? I had a really cute redhead totally into me. I'm surely gonna get my fetish girl soon considering I've gotten close to making something happen with two redheads in the last week.
As I keep saying, if I keep putting this effort out there, I can be happy with my night. If I keep pushing hard and improving, I will get better at the game and I'll have more pulls. I just have to trust in the process and not browbeat myself.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Vinny returned, so I got wasted Thurs
Vinny, was this natural that I met in an AMOG situation with this chubby Irish girl last summer with Sidegames. I ran into him the following week at Lion Head and 2j, Vinny, and I hung out most of last summer. We would occasionally mention him this year and wonder what he was doing.
2j had mentioned going to some River North spots on Thursday. I pushed for Lincoln Park as I had been feeling shitty and wanted to go where there were more sets. The River North spots have fewer sets, but better looking girls, but I didn't want to deal with that because I was feeling shitty as I described in my previous post.
As I was walking to the dollar beers venue, I spotted what appeared to be Vinny and his natural friend. The last time we had seen these guys was in late Spring, just after my girlfriend and I had broken up. That was the day that the natural friend had set this napkin and pizza slice on fire at Lion Head. It was also when this drunk fat chick had sat down. On of the naturals friends had made out with her; I remembered that I regretted not having made that move that day. I know I would have done it now. Vinny had been pushing the girl to show her tits (she had a nice rack despite being fat). The girl was drunk and craving the attention so she exposed her tits to us. This caused the two girls who had been hanging out with us to get offended and storm off to another table.
2j and I would laugh when we'd mention these guys to each other. I found out Vinny had gotten married and the natural had gotten some regular girl and had also stopped going out. The natural bought a round of shots and beer for us. I knew I was gonna get drunk and fortunately I had planned ahead by parking in a spot where I could leave my car. Nintendo ended up showing up and driving my car to River North and then I was able to drive when I sobered up at his house.
I opened a lot of sets but I'm convinced I ran shitty game from being too drunk. The 6 drinks in like 20 minutes hit me hard. I had down well earlier in the week despite drinking. The difference was that 2-3 drinks makes me game better sometimes compared to being sober. Too many makes me forget what I'm focusing on. I can still hook girls but it's a lot sloppier. I remember hooking some sets, but I finally had a night with no make out and no massively hooked sets.
Tried my hardest but felt shitty
I think I didn't update this blog immediately after Wednesday because I felt shitty for dumb reasons. I had a good week up to that point. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I really had pushed myself to the fullest. I always mention the sports analogy of being happy with your best effort regardless of whether or not you win or lose. I should have been happy with myself, and I was. At the same time, I was frustrated that I couldn't make the pulls happen and the girls were flaky despite nearly pulling them. I think the thing that really hit me hard was that the SNL girl from two Saturdays ago finally responded to my text on Thursday by saying, "Sorry. I don't mean to be mean, but please stop contacting me. I'm just not interested."
I had some reasons to feel sorry for myself. Once again, I couldn't turn an SNL into something more. I really was attracted to that girl and I felt like the sex had the potential to be amazing. Instead, she had regrets. The stupid thing is that I agreed with 2j when I had started to suspect she was turning into a flake last week. 2j is right that the girl wasn't right for me, and I saw part of that when she told me at the taco place that she doesn't know what makes her happy and that she hated her job. She further made herself seem bad when she worried too much about what her friends were gonna say.
I could feel sorry for myself despite the fact that I had gotten some good results Monday and Tuesday because the girls flaked. I started to browbeat myself telling myself that I suck because the girls weren't that hot and they flaked.
I should have been happy with my week and not entertained those poisonous, negative thoughts.
After all, I had that redhead really hooked on Saturday and managed to set up a venue change where I got free cheese fries and a free beer. I had done my best with the shitty logistics I had been faced with and I got reference experience for a cute redhead being into me.
Monday, I had faced some tough situations with those work chodes and really pushed my comfort zone. I had pulled the girls effortlessly from the guys twice that night. I even had her isolated in a smart way away from the guys. I tried for the kiss and got the number close. I made a bad decision to leave at the time, but I did the best I could in an unknown, and uncomfortable situation. I learned a lot and figured out how I could have done better if I got to replay the situation.
Tuesday, I quickly kiss closed this blonde and I her so horny that I almost was able to pull to my car. The logistics were shit again and Nintendo had messed things up early on by not escalating on the girl. Despite not getting the pull, I again had tried my best and had decent results.
Wednesday, I had two girls massively hooked and I got myself out of an awkward situation with the two girls being from the same set but getting 2j to wing me. We were so close to pulling, but we faced shitty logistics again.
Yes, the girls seem like flakes, but I have to remember something.
I've been working on building my pull skills:
It makes sense the that girls got buyer's remorse. Part of it is the nature of night game. Girls get drunk and then are out of state when you text and many times don't respond. If I want more solid numbers and Day 2 possibilities, I should be working day game. Furthermore, in trying to push really hard for the pull, I make buyers remorse even more likely. The community wisdom is that if I want to have a better chance at it being a solid number and going on a Day 2, I wouldn't push so hard for the pull and amp up her buying temperature so much.
I need and want to work on same night pulling. While I'd like to have a Day 2, given a choice, I'd rather work hard for the pull and have a better chance at SNL. I made my choice and I shouldn't let it bother me that I got flakes as a result.
If you give it you best effort:
That's the ultimate lesson anyway. You shouldn't base your happiness on results. First of all, with proper inner game, you should be happy with the process of going out and not based on what happens. You can only control yourself and the effort you put out. I can't be mad that I couldn't solve an unknown situation. I need to learn from it and maybe I'll handle it better when it pops up in the future. I can only give my best effort and I did that. Furthermore, 2j made the good point after Friday. It's the same point that Tyler makes in some of his videos: I'm dealing with human beings here so there are certain elements out of my control . I would liken that to the luck factor in poker. If I had girls with better logistics or girls just a bit hornier or more willing to ditch their friends, I might have had 1 or more SNL's this week. Again, I can't control that. I did my best with what I could control so why feel shitty?
I had some reasons to feel sorry for myself. Once again, I couldn't turn an SNL into something more. I really was attracted to that girl and I felt like the sex had the potential to be amazing. Instead, she had regrets. The stupid thing is that I agreed with 2j when I had started to suspect she was turning into a flake last week. 2j is right that the girl wasn't right for me, and I saw part of that when she told me at the taco place that she doesn't know what makes her happy and that she hated her job. She further made herself seem bad when she worried too much about what her friends were gonna say.
I could feel sorry for myself despite the fact that I had gotten some good results Monday and Tuesday because the girls flaked. I started to browbeat myself telling myself that I suck because the girls weren't that hot and they flaked.
I should have been happy with my week and not entertained those poisonous, negative thoughts.
After all, I had that redhead really hooked on Saturday and managed to set up a venue change where I got free cheese fries and a free beer. I had done my best with the shitty logistics I had been faced with and I got reference experience for a cute redhead being into me.
Monday, I had faced some tough situations with those work chodes and really pushed my comfort zone. I had pulled the girls effortlessly from the guys twice that night. I even had her isolated in a smart way away from the guys. I tried for the kiss and got the number close. I made a bad decision to leave at the time, but I did the best I could in an unknown, and uncomfortable situation. I learned a lot and figured out how I could have done better if I got to replay the situation.
Tuesday, I quickly kiss closed this blonde and I her so horny that I almost was able to pull to my car. The logistics were shit again and Nintendo had messed things up early on by not escalating on the girl. Despite not getting the pull, I again had tried my best and had decent results.
Wednesday, I had two girls massively hooked and I got myself out of an awkward situation with the two girls being from the same set but getting 2j to wing me. We were so close to pulling, but we faced shitty logistics again.
Yes, the girls seem like flakes, but I have to remember something.
I've been working on building my pull skills:
It makes sense the that girls got buyer's remorse. Part of it is the nature of night game. Girls get drunk and then are out of state when you text and many times don't respond. If I want more solid numbers and Day 2 possibilities, I should be working day game. Furthermore, in trying to push really hard for the pull, I make buyers remorse even more likely. The community wisdom is that if I want to have a better chance at it being a solid number and going on a Day 2, I wouldn't push so hard for the pull and amp up her buying temperature so much.
I need and want to work on same night pulling. While I'd like to have a Day 2, given a choice, I'd rather work hard for the pull and have a better chance at SNL. I made my choice and I shouldn't let it bother me that I got flakes as a result.
If you give it you best effort:
That's the ultimate lesson anyway. You shouldn't base your happiness on results. First of all, with proper inner game, you should be happy with the process of going out and not based on what happens. You can only control yourself and the effort you put out. I can't be mad that I couldn't solve an unknown situation. I need to learn from it and maybe I'll handle it better when it pops up in the future. I can only give my best effort and I did that. Furthermore, 2j made the good point after Friday. It's the same point that Tyler makes in some of his videos: I'm dealing with human beings here so there are certain elements out of my control . I would liken that to the luck factor in poker. If I had girls with better logistics or girls just a bit hornier or more willing to ditch their friends, I might have had 1 or more SNL's this week. Again, I can't control that. I did my best with what I could control so why feel shitty?
Hook 2 girls from same set, 2j & I try to pull
It's Saturday morning and I'm just now writing this FR from Wednesday. Nintendo, 2j and I went out to Kincaid's in Lincoln Park. It's probably better that I'm writing this so many days later, as I'm sure I'll end up cutting out a lot of the unnecessary detail that I often include into these reports. Since I also went out Thursday and Friday, some of the less relevant details are gone from my memory.
The man highlight of the night was that I hooked two different girls that happened to be from the same set. First, there was this chubby, drunk brunette who I opened early on in the night. I could tell she was high buying temperature right when I opened her, but being drunk, she wandered off after I talked to her for a few moments. I opened her two times later as she was wandering around the venue but couldn't get her to stick around for more than few minutes.
Later, this thin, pale girl, who I thought was cute, but who 2j later rated as a HB6, walked by me by the stairs. I grabbed her and pulled her into me. The eye contact was good and she seemed high buying temperature. I tried figuring out her logistics. She said she was from out of town and out with friends. I tried to sell the after hours place to her, but at that point, she decided to wander off but tried saying that she'd look for me later.
About twenty minutes later, I was walking by the small outdoor area, and I spotted the chubby brunette again. I immediately got right up on her and started talking to her. Of course, she was receptive as she had been the other times. She was with two girls and some guy. It was at this point that I noticed one of the friends was that pale girl I had stopped by the stairs.
Whoops, and LOL! I had hooked both of these girls but they happened to be from the same set. The pale girl was ranting about something the guy and the the other girl, a blonde who actually was connected to my wings in an interesting way that I'll explain shortly. I decided that I had a better chance with the brunette so I just ignored the friends and was just talking into my targets ear.
As the pale girl was ranting, I was able to talk to my target, but a few minutes later, she decided to bust me out. Once I noticed the pale girl in the set, I recognized I had a problem, but I decided to stay in set and keep talking to my girl anyway. The pale girl physically grabbed my girl away from me and said, "I need to talk to my friend for, about an hour." She knew the bar was closing and it was obvious what was going on. I decided to walk off and get a wing.
This blonde wants to fuck someone:
At some point in the night, while the above had been going on, I ran into Nintendo and 2j after being off by myself for a bit in the venue. 2j said he had opened this chubby blonde. He had seen a cute face and stopped her, but then as he put is arms on her hips, he noticed she had a bit of a belly, so he decided he wasn't interested. She was hooked, and when he turned around to walk away, she grabbed his ass. He told me that I should open this blonde because that girl was high buying temperature and wanted to fuck somebody. He knows that I have lower standards for pulling and I'd be happy pulling her.
He said he'd point out the girl to me if he saw her again, but we didn't see her again till later.
Winging:
I dragged 2j to help me wing. I found the set in the outside area. The pale girl was standing by the table. I introduced 2j to her. My girl was on the other side of the table. Two Irish guys were standing around the girls and I think they had been talking to them. I just walked right up to my girl and got up on her face and started talking to her again. She smiled and within a minute or two, I kissed her. Her face was right next to mine and it just seemed right.
When I went for the kiss, she didn't resist. She let our lips meet and returned the kiss, but it wasn't that enthusiastic. I broke it off quickly as I always do now because I don't want it to turn into a big make out and possibly have it release too much tension. At this point, she got a bit weird. She started to walk away and said, "I have to go inside and get a beer." She had a half beer in her hand and she said, "Here, hold this."
I turned and saw that 2j was getting along well with the pale girl. I decided that the girl was into me and this was similar to something I've heard Jeffy describe. Jeffy talked about opening girls on the street in the twilight hours after the bars close. He said sometimes girls will make out with you and then run off. In the past, I might have thought I got rejected somehow here, but I felt differently this time.
I followed her into the back bar area. The lights had just turned on as they close this section earlier than the rest of the bar. I caught up to my girl and tapped her on the shoulder. What I decided to do next probably got into my head from the Alex videos. He describes apologizing to girls for stuff if he makes them uncomfortable; for example, if he came up too strongly and startled the girl, or if he teased her too hard. His video opened my eyes to something that I never really did before. I used to just figure that I had to say something clever if I started the girl (e.g. I used to say, 'I don't bite' if I started the girl because this had worked on this set a few months ago). I also would never apologized because I thought it was AFC style.
I told this girl, "Hey" as I tapped her shoulder and she turned around. She looked into my eyes and I said, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. We don't have to kiss if you don't want to." When I said this, she looked into my eyes and I pulled her in and kissed her again. This time, she kissed me back. Some guys that happened to be around as this was happening started cheering. I lead her back outside as this area was closed.
Keep pushing it to the end:
When we got outside, I went up to 2j and the pale girl. I started talking about after hours. The pale girl was doing her best "Mikey" impression. I'd learn that she was the worrying, mother hen type who had a hard time just relaxing. Even though 2j had her hooked, she started saying she had to find her friends and she couldn't go to the after hours bar. She tried to drag my girl to the back area because 2j and I were ready to walk to the front area and she wanted to get away from us as I think she didn't trust herself not to come with us if she stayed. She was rejected by the back bar entrance. We walked into the front area, and the pale girl walked past us.
We ran into Nintendo here and I said to 2j, "We need to try to make this pull happen." 2j agreed and Nintendo said he had seen them go downstairs. We looked downstairs and couldn't find them and then the bar lights came on to indicate they were closing . I decided we should go outside as we'd surely see them there.
When I got to the sidewalk, I saw my girl walking east past the train stop. I walked really fast to catch up with her. I spotted the pale girl talking to the guy that had been in the set. I just walked by them and caught up with my girl. I said, "Hey, you shouldn't be wandering off alone at this time of night." We made out by the corner store and I tried to set up a pull. I said, "We should get tacos." She replied that she couldn't leave her friends. I tried selling the after hours bar. She said she and the other girl were staying with the blonde and she couldn't leave the blonde. At this point, she wandered by her friends. The blonde and the guy were standing by the train . I mentioned after hours and the blonde said we could go to some after hours place called "The Store." I was trying to get them to go, but the guy said we had to go as a group. He pointed towards 2j and the pale girl.
As they were all just sitting there, I tried to fetch pale girl and 2j. I dragged my girl with me. 2j still had her hooked but when I got there, the pale girl started saying "Mikey" stuff. I even called her out, using the Swingers movies. She said she had seen that movie and I said, "You're like the main character Mikey. You keep thinking too much. Did you not see that when he finally listened to Trent and relaxed, good things starting happening for him? We're here to party."
2j said I should try to pump emotions when a girl is acting like this. He said he felt I was bit too logical, but he seemed to acknowledge that she started to smile and shut up when I said "We're her to party" and gave her a high five. That lasted for a few seconds and then she said, "You guys are both really cool. You should find some other girls."
I finally gave up when 2j seemed to give up and I let the set go. He said that the girl had been telling him that if that guy (meaning the guy friend that had been with the blonde) weren't there, she'd probably leave with 2j. 2j said it seemed like the guy knew pale girl's boyfriend or there was just something with that dude and pale girl . He said that my girl seemed down for whatever the group decided. 2j said he didn't want to go to the after hours because we would have been stuck with the same situation there. Bad logistics just screwed us.
Remember that horny blonde?:
2j said as we were going to the car that it's too bad I hadn't hit on the blonde in the set. He said that the blonde who had grabbed his ass and who looked like she wanted to fuck someone happened to be the blonde in the set. He said it was too bad I hadn't hooked that girl as he thinks that blonde would have ditched the friends to hook up as she seemed that horny.
Another funny thing is that we saw that same blonde Friday night at Moe's. I didn't recognized her and part of it was because the blonde on Friday seemed shorter than the one on Wednesday. I guess she had just been wearing higher heels on Wednesday because when I asked if she had been at Kincaid's Wednesday, she said she had been. I didn't get a chance to try to hook her this time as her big set of friends decided to walk away just as we starting talking to the blonde on Friday.
This girl wants you:
The other things I want to document was there was this brunette in this set I opened at Kincaid's. About ten minutes after I had left the set, this girl was walking by and she said, "My friend wants you, you should talk to her." I got right up on the blonde she was talking to but the girl resisted. Just after that, I went up to Nintendo and said, "Wow, that was dumb. It's so fucking obvious that it was the girl saying that shit who wanted me. She must have liked me when I opened them earlier and I don't know why I went for the friend instead of her, except that I did like the blonde friend better than the girl saying that shit."
I mention this set because it's funny how she liked me and was expressing it that way. It's too bad I squandered the opportunity.
The man highlight of the night was that I hooked two different girls that happened to be from the same set. First, there was this chubby, drunk brunette who I opened early on in the night. I could tell she was high buying temperature right when I opened her, but being drunk, she wandered off after I talked to her for a few moments. I opened her two times later as she was wandering around the venue but couldn't get her to stick around for more than few minutes.
Later, this thin, pale girl, who I thought was cute, but who 2j later rated as a HB6, walked by me by the stairs. I grabbed her and pulled her into me. The eye contact was good and she seemed high buying temperature. I tried figuring out her logistics. She said she was from out of town and out with friends. I tried to sell the after hours place to her, but at that point, she decided to wander off but tried saying that she'd look for me later.
About twenty minutes later, I was walking by the small outdoor area, and I spotted the chubby brunette again. I immediately got right up on her and started talking to her. Of course, she was receptive as she had been the other times. She was with two girls and some guy. It was at this point that I noticed one of the friends was that pale girl I had stopped by the stairs.
Whoops, and LOL! I had hooked both of these girls but they happened to be from the same set. The pale girl was ranting about something the guy and the the other girl, a blonde who actually was connected to my wings in an interesting way that I'll explain shortly. I decided that I had a better chance with the brunette so I just ignored the friends and was just talking into my targets ear.
As the pale girl was ranting, I was able to talk to my target, but a few minutes later, she decided to bust me out. Once I noticed the pale girl in the set, I recognized I had a problem, but I decided to stay in set and keep talking to my girl anyway. The pale girl physically grabbed my girl away from me and said, "I need to talk to my friend for, about an hour." She knew the bar was closing and it was obvious what was going on. I decided to walk off and get a wing.
This blonde wants to fuck someone:
At some point in the night, while the above had been going on, I ran into Nintendo and 2j after being off by myself for a bit in the venue. 2j said he had opened this chubby blonde. He had seen a cute face and stopped her, but then as he put is arms on her hips, he noticed she had a bit of a belly, so he decided he wasn't interested. She was hooked, and when he turned around to walk away, she grabbed his ass. He told me that I should open this blonde because that girl was high buying temperature and wanted to fuck somebody. He knows that I have lower standards for pulling and I'd be happy pulling her.
He said he'd point out the girl to me if he saw her again, but we didn't see her again till later.
Winging:
I dragged 2j to help me wing. I found the set in the outside area. The pale girl was standing by the table. I introduced 2j to her. My girl was on the other side of the table. Two Irish guys were standing around the girls and I think they had been talking to them. I just walked right up to my girl and got up on her face and started talking to her again. She smiled and within a minute or two, I kissed her. Her face was right next to mine and it just seemed right.
When I went for the kiss, she didn't resist. She let our lips meet and returned the kiss, but it wasn't that enthusiastic. I broke it off quickly as I always do now because I don't want it to turn into a big make out and possibly have it release too much tension. At this point, she got a bit weird. She started to walk away and said, "I have to go inside and get a beer." She had a half beer in her hand and she said, "Here, hold this."
I turned and saw that 2j was getting along well with the pale girl. I decided that the girl was into me and this was similar to something I've heard Jeffy describe. Jeffy talked about opening girls on the street in the twilight hours after the bars close. He said sometimes girls will make out with you and then run off. In the past, I might have thought I got rejected somehow here, but I felt differently this time.
I followed her into the back bar area. The lights had just turned on as they close this section earlier than the rest of the bar. I caught up to my girl and tapped her on the shoulder. What I decided to do next probably got into my head from the Alex videos. He describes apologizing to girls for stuff if he makes them uncomfortable; for example, if he came up too strongly and startled the girl, or if he teased her too hard. His video opened my eyes to something that I never really did before. I used to just figure that I had to say something clever if I started the girl (e.g. I used to say, 'I don't bite' if I started the girl because this had worked on this set a few months ago). I also would never apologized because I thought it was AFC style.
I told this girl, "Hey" as I tapped her shoulder and she turned around. She looked into my eyes and I said, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. We don't have to kiss if you don't want to." When I said this, she looked into my eyes and I pulled her in and kissed her again. This time, she kissed me back. Some guys that happened to be around as this was happening started cheering. I lead her back outside as this area was closed.
Keep pushing it to the end:
When we got outside, I went up to 2j and the pale girl. I started talking about after hours. The pale girl was doing her best "Mikey" impression. I'd learn that she was the worrying, mother hen type who had a hard time just relaxing. Even though 2j had her hooked, she started saying she had to find her friends and she couldn't go to the after hours bar. She tried to drag my girl to the back area because 2j and I were ready to walk to the front area and she wanted to get away from us as I think she didn't trust herself not to come with us if she stayed. She was rejected by the back bar entrance. We walked into the front area, and the pale girl walked past us.
We ran into Nintendo here and I said to 2j, "We need to try to make this pull happen." 2j agreed and Nintendo said he had seen them go downstairs. We looked downstairs and couldn't find them and then the bar lights came on to indicate they were closing . I decided we should go outside as we'd surely see them there.
When I got to the sidewalk, I saw my girl walking east past the train stop. I walked really fast to catch up with her. I spotted the pale girl talking to the guy that had been in the set. I just walked by them and caught up with my girl. I said, "Hey, you shouldn't be wandering off alone at this time of night." We made out by the corner store and I tried to set up a pull. I said, "We should get tacos." She replied that she couldn't leave her friends. I tried selling the after hours bar. She said she and the other girl were staying with the blonde and she couldn't leave the blonde. At this point, she wandered by her friends. The blonde and the guy were standing by the train . I mentioned after hours and the blonde said we could go to some after hours place called "The Store." I was trying to get them to go, but the guy said we had to go as a group. He pointed towards 2j and the pale girl.
As they were all just sitting there, I tried to fetch pale girl and 2j. I dragged my girl with me. 2j still had her hooked but when I got there, the pale girl started saying "Mikey" stuff. I even called her out, using the Swingers movies. She said she had seen that movie and I said, "You're like the main character Mikey. You keep thinking too much. Did you not see that when he finally listened to Trent and relaxed, good things starting happening for him? We're here to party."
2j said I should try to pump emotions when a girl is acting like this. He said he felt I was bit too logical, but he seemed to acknowledge that she started to smile and shut up when I said "We're her to party" and gave her a high five. That lasted for a few seconds and then she said, "You guys are both really cool. You should find some other girls."
I finally gave up when 2j seemed to give up and I let the set go. He said that the girl had been telling him that if that guy (meaning the guy friend that had been with the blonde) weren't there, she'd probably leave with 2j. 2j said it seemed like the guy knew pale girl's boyfriend or there was just something with that dude and pale girl . He said that my girl seemed down for whatever the group decided. 2j said he didn't want to go to the after hours because we would have been stuck with the same situation there. Bad logistics just screwed us.
Remember that horny blonde?:
2j said as we were going to the car that it's too bad I hadn't hit on the blonde in the set. He said that the blonde who had grabbed his ass and who looked like she wanted to fuck someone happened to be the blonde in the set. He said it was too bad I hadn't hooked that girl as he thinks that blonde would have ditched the friends to hook up as she seemed that horny.
Another funny thing is that we saw that same blonde Friday night at Moe's. I didn't recognized her and part of it was because the blonde on Friday seemed shorter than the one on Wednesday. I guess she had just been wearing higher heels on Wednesday because when I asked if she had been at Kincaid's Wednesday, she said she had been. I didn't get a chance to try to hook her this time as her big set of friends decided to walk away just as we starting talking to the blonde on Friday.
This girl wants you:
The other things I want to document was there was this brunette in this set I opened at Kincaid's. About ten minutes after I had left the set, this girl was walking by and she said, "My friend wants you, you should talk to her." I got right up on the blonde she was talking to but the girl resisted. Just after that, I went up to Nintendo and said, "Wow, that was dumb. It's so fucking obvious that it was the girl saying that shit who wanted me. She must have liked me when I opened them earlier and I don't know why I went for the friend instead of her, except that I did like the blonde friend better than the girl saying that shit."
I mention this set because it's funny how she liked me and was expressing it that way. It's too bad I squandered the opportunity.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
1st set: Couldn't pull, only make out and grinding
Nintendo has some crazy endurance when it comes to getting little sleep every night. I'd attribute it to age, but he isn't that much younger than me. I was low energy level all day and all evening. We had talked about going out in the burbs Tuesday night, but it looked like he was gonna blow it off. The FB wanted to hook up but I didn't feel like picking her up, and I didn't want to blow off Nintendo. It does amuse me that I wanted to get laid so badly not too long ago, and now I'm sometimes not motivated enough to get the easy lay from the FB. Granted she isn't good looking, but I know that the eventually, if I keep working my game, I'll get to a point where I'd feel the same way about a lay from an HB9 FB.
I still have willpower in that when Nintendo said he wanted to go out still, I didn't refuse. I knew I need only take the easy way out by deciding to not go out, or to have the FB sleep over; instead, I chose to go out with Nintendo. I kept my "Mikey" frame at bay: Nintendo and I are referring to the whining tendencies of the main character from "Swingers" when we use that term. Nintendo was supposed to come out early and he didn't. Then we didn't get on the tollway and caught two trains, but I just kept being positive instead of whining about it or letting it put me in a bad mood. We finally got to the club around midnight which was only gonna give us an hour and a half to sarge there.
High buying temperature:
We had a little bit of luck. All that delay, including stopping at Wendy's and waiting for Nintendo to finish his meal, set us up to walk by this high buying temperature 3-set. I saw it, but I wasn't warmed up so I made excuses and didn't move to open them. Nintendo opened them, and then I joined. They weren't that hot, but I did find the blonde attractive and wanted to bang her. I knew Nintendo wants to go for better looking girls, but I tried to learn my lesson from Friday. If the opportunity is there, and I'm willing to hook up with the girl, I should follow through for practice and because I do want to get laid. I did offer Nintendo an out. I told him that if he didn't want to pursue this, we could just go in, but he agreed to stay in this set.
They were on the way to this after hours place that I hated and hadn't been to in several years. Nintendo number closed this Latina girl and then I caught up to the other girls as they were waiting for the Latina girls younger brother to drive their drunk asses to the after hours place. I got up on the blonde and I could tell that I had been right about her buying temp. I felt like I could make out with her right there but I held back. Nintendo said as we were driving that it was probably the right move since we couldn't pull right there.
Quick kiss:
The after hours place was dead and never got busy. I figured some of the people from our original club would show up but not many had even when we left at 2am. I ordered a beer and then the girls arrived. I put my arm around my girl when she approached the table and this time I kissed her quickly. The friends were surprised we had kissed already when she told them that later in the beer garden.
Double pull plan:
The third girl had said in the parking lot of the other venue that she had a boyfriend but told us the other two girls were single. I was under the impression that we were gonna try to pull the girls to my house. Nintendo made it sound like he was gonna escalate on the friend even though he wasn't really into her.
We chatted in a group, and then I isolated my girl to the dance floor. From the moment I met her, she kept asking me if I was gonna dance with her. I told her there was no one on the dance floor but I was willing to get it started. I held her hands and did an innocent type dance but it was clear that she wanted to grind right away. We were making out and grinding but I was also trying not to get her buying temperature too high. I kept telling Nintendo, even during in the car ride to this second venue, that I had learned my lesson from that Y Bar Russian sets weeks ago.
Right around when I was thinking about going back to the group, she mentioned going back to the group. I kept the frame by saying we'd do so after the song. When we got back, I could tell Nintendo wasn't following through on the plan I thought we had. He was sitting across from the Latina girl. He was holding their attention, but he wasn't escalating on the Latina girl. Just as we got to the group, I heard her calling guys trying to get them to meet her there. She was horny and was trying to get a guy to come out there to meet her.
Bathroom conference:
Not long after I got back to the group, the girls suddenly all went to the bathroom. I knew they were gonna talk about us. Nintendo said that I should have tried pulling the girl to my car to fuck when I had her isolated on the dance floor. I said that I thought the plan was to take the girls to my place. He said he decided he couldn't do the friend. I told him that I noticed that when I came in and that complicated things but I'd try to do what I could.
The girls were taking forever so we went in to look for them and found them all on the dance floor. We went in to dance with them and Nintendo started to dance with the Latina. I started to dance with my girl, and then the 3rd girl said she was going outside to smoke. Then, my girl suddenly used the bathroom excuse to ditch me momentarily.
My thoughts later were that the girls had a conference and told my girl not to go home with me. The 3rd girl with the boyfriend wasn't being a cockblock and had been pushing us to hook up with her friends. I was convinced that the Latina got frustrated that Nintendo wasn't escalating and told my girl not to let it happen with me.
Nintendo later started escalating with the Latina girl. He hadn't wanted to fuck her but he admitted to getting a hard on when he was dancing with her. He didn't make out with her but she was grabbing his cock through his pants and he was rubbing her nipples. He tried to sell her on a quick stop by my place to "get free beers for a bit and then come back to this venue later when it was busier." She wasn't going for it even though she now was turned on again.
Maybe they were just too young and the group logistics were bad:
2j also talks about how 21 year girls are harder to pull because they are less willing to ditch their friends. This is in contrast to say late 20's or older girls who will leave their friends. Often, it's because the other friends are taken and know that the girls at that age need to get laid and/or try to find a boyfriend.
I tried to escalate and pull my girl two other times. I even ran some rapport game when I had her isolated. She actually ponders spirituality and loves travel, which of course gains her points in my book. I'll also say that she and the Latina were kissing so she might be willing to explore her bisexual side. This is in contrast to the girl with the boyfriend who didn't really want to kiss the other girls.
My girl wouldn't agree to get food or leave with me. The Latina girl wanted to stay till 4am and my girl was tired. I tried offering to just drive her home and said we didn't have to do anything but that didn't work. I actually almost got her to come outside to the front parking lot. Just as she was gonna walk out the front door with me, one of the friends popped out of the bathroom and ruined the moment.
Number close could work:
Lately, I've just been assuming that if I don't finish the pull, the number is likely to flake. In this case, at least I ran some rapport game to make her feel like we had more than just a drunken make out connection. Nintendo wanted to leave since we couldn't get the pull and he was sick of escalating on the Latina girl and I was content with that. I had tried to pull and had to settle for making the number work. I went to say goodbye to my girl. We kissed and maybe she won't flake. She had said she had sobered up, yet she still wanted to kiss. She also gave the big IOI of saying, "Make sure to call me" after I had kissed her goodbye.
It's not Nintendo's fault:
At one point, in frustration, Nintendo said, "You can put this on me if you want." I said that, yes it would have helped if he had escalated with the Latina girl from the beginning. At the same time, I could understand if he hadn't been into it at the time. I told him he was a good wing for helping me here at all. We had given up going to the good venue to stay with this set. I know that 2j often won't follow through on girls that don't meet his standards. Sure, he'll wing, but he'll usually tell me to take a phone number. Nintendo was occupying the friends attention, but I felt he had made it seem like he was gonna escalate with the Latina girl for practice.
I told him later that it's funny the he started to get turned on by her later on. Too bad he didn't go for it initially.
He said he's willing to help me out in this situations because he knows that I'd do the same for him. In fact, I had helped him with this huge girls in the Willow set. That's the one that I didn't want to bang while he was sleeping in the same room as us. She also was really big and wasn't into it at the time, but then later I regretted not doing it.
I
I still have willpower in that when Nintendo said he wanted to go out still, I didn't refuse. I knew I need only take the easy way out by deciding to not go out, or to have the FB sleep over; instead, I chose to go out with Nintendo. I kept my "Mikey" frame at bay: Nintendo and I are referring to the whining tendencies of the main character from "Swingers" when we use that term. Nintendo was supposed to come out early and he didn't. Then we didn't get on the tollway and caught two trains, but I just kept being positive instead of whining about it or letting it put me in a bad mood. We finally got to the club around midnight which was only gonna give us an hour and a half to sarge there.
High buying temperature:
We had a little bit of luck. All that delay, including stopping at Wendy's and waiting for Nintendo to finish his meal, set us up to walk by this high buying temperature 3-set. I saw it, but I wasn't warmed up so I made excuses and didn't move to open them. Nintendo opened them, and then I joined. They weren't that hot, but I did find the blonde attractive and wanted to bang her. I knew Nintendo wants to go for better looking girls, but I tried to learn my lesson from Friday. If the opportunity is there, and I'm willing to hook up with the girl, I should follow through for practice and because I do want to get laid. I did offer Nintendo an out. I told him that if he didn't want to pursue this, we could just go in, but he agreed to stay in this set.
They were on the way to this after hours place that I hated and hadn't been to in several years. Nintendo number closed this Latina girl and then I caught up to the other girls as they were waiting for the Latina girls younger brother to drive their drunk asses to the after hours place. I got up on the blonde and I could tell that I had been right about her buying temp. I felt like I could make out with her right there but I held back. Nintendo said as we were driving that it was probably the right move since we couldn't pull right there.
Quick kiss:
The after hours place was dead and never got busy. I figured some of the people from our original club would show up but not many had even when we left at 2am. I ordered a beer and then the girls arrived. I put my arm around my girl when she approached the table and this time I kissed her quickly. The friends were surprised we had kissed already when she told them that later in the beer garden.
Double pull plan:
The third girl had said in the parking lot of the other venue that she had a boyfriend but told us the other two girls were single. I was under the impression that we were gonna try to pull the girls to my house. Nintendo made it sound like he was gonna escalate on the friend even though he wasn't really into her.
We chatted in a group, and then I isolated my girl to the dance floor. From the moment I met her, she kept asking me if I was gonna dance with her. I told her there was no one on the dance floor but I was willing to get it started. I held her hands and did an innocent type dance but it was clear that she wanted to grind right away. We were making out and grinding but I was also trying not to get her buying temperature too high. I kept telling Nintendo, even during in the car ride to this second venue, that I had learned my lesson from that Y Bar Russian sets weeks ago.
Right around when I was thinking about going back to the group, she mentioned going back to the group. I kept the frame by saying we'd do so after the song. When we got back, I could tell Nintendo wasn't following through on the plan I thought we had. He was sitting across from the Latina girl. He was holding their attention, but he wasn't escalating on the Latina girl. Just as we got to the group, I heard her calling guys trying to get them to meet her there. She was horny and was trying to get a guy to come out there to meet her.
Bathroom conference:
Not long after I got back to the group, the girls suddenly all went to the bathroom. I knew they were gonna talk about us. Nintendo said that I should have tried pulling the girl to my car to fuck when I had her isolated on the dance floor. I said that I thought the plan was to take the girls to my place. He said he decided he couldn't do the friend. I told him that I noticed that when I came in and that complicated things but I'd try to do what I could.
The girls were taking forever so we went in to look for them and found them all on the dance floor. We went in to dance with them and Nintendo started to dance with the Latina. I started to dance with my girl, and then the 3rd girl said she was going outside to smoke. Then, my girl suddenly used the bathroom excuse to ditch me momentarily.
My thoughts later were that the girls had a conference and told my girl not to go home with me. The 3rd girl with the boyfriend wasn't being a cockblock and had been pushing us to hook up with her friends. I was convinced that the Latina got frustrated that Nintendo wasn't escalating and told my girl not to let it happen with me.
Nintendo later started escalating with the Latina girl. He hadn't wanted to fuck her but he admitted to getting a hard on when he was dancing with her. He didn't make out with her but she was grabbing his cock through his pants and he was rubbing her nipples. He tried to sell her on a quick stop by my place to "get free beers for a bit and then come back to this venue later when it was busier." She wasn't going for it even though she now was turned on again.
Maybe they were just too young and the group logistics were bad:
2j also talks about how 21 year girls are harder to pull because they are less willing to ditch their friends. This is in contrast to say late 20's or older girls who will leave their friends. Often, it's because the other friends are taken and know that the girls at that age need to get laid and/or try to find a boyfriend.
I tried to escalate and pull my girl two other times. I even ran some rapport game when I had her isolated. She actually ponders spirituality and loves travel, which of course gains her points in my book. I'll also say that she and the Latina were kissing so she might be willing to explore her bisexual side. This is in contrast to the girl with the boyfriend who didn't really want to kiss the other girls.
My girl wouldn't agree to get food or leave with me. The Latina girl wanted to stay till 4am and my girl was tired. I tried offering to just drive her home and said we didn't have to do anything but that didn't work. I actually almost got her to come outside to the front parking lot. Just as she was gonna walk out the front door with me, one of the friends popped out of the bathroom and ruined the moment.
Number close could work:
Lately, I've just been assuming that if I don't finish the pull, the number is likely to flake. In this case, at least I ran some rapport game to make her feel like we had more than just a drunken make out connection. Nintendo wanted to leave since we couldn't get the pull and he was sick of escalating on the Latina girl and I was content with that. I had tried to pull and had to settle for making the number work. I went to say goodbye to my girl. We kissed and maybe she won't flake. She had said she had sobered up, yet she still wanted to kiss. She also gave the big IOI of saying, "Make sure to call me" after I had kissed her goodbye.
It's not Nintendo's fault:
At one point, in frustration, Nintendo said, "You can put this on me if you want." I said that, yes it would have helped if he had escalated with the Latina girl from the beginning. At the same time, I could understand if he hadn't been into it at the time. I told him he was a good wing for helping me here at all. We had given up going to the good venue to stay with this set. I know that 2j often won't follow through on girls that don't meet his standards. Sure, he'll wing, but he'll usually tell me to take a phone number. Nintendo was occupying the friends attention, but I felt he had made it seem like he was gonna escalate with the Latina girl for practice.
I told him later that it's funny the he started to get turned on by her later on. Too bad he didn't go for it initially.
He said he's willing to help me out in this situations because he knows that I'd do the same for him. In fact, I had helped him with this huge girls in the Willow set. That's the one that I didn't want to bang while he was sleeping in the same room as us. She also was really big and wasn't into it at the time, but then later I regretted not doing it.
I
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Bad logistics: Stepping up to jealous work chumps
I found myself in another frustrating situation. There's an element of luck involved with sarging: whether the girls you approach happen to just have chemistry with you is one, and another is the logistics of the set: who they came with, where they live, and so on. I'd had bad luck in that Saturday and tonight I had two girls into me that just had shit logistics. Another reason I've found myself in frustrating situations is that I've been willing myself to push my comfort level more than ever before. You improve by pushing yourself, and as I get into uncharted territory, I often don't know the right move at the time. Tonight, it took me several hours to solve the situation I found myself in.
2j and I were about to call it a night. We had opened everything easy. Part of me felt we should push the mixed sets and the girls dancing up on the VIP section ledges. I probably should start forcing myself to hit those sets but I have to admit it's hard to do so when I'm not in massive state. This Monday venue is especially hard because it's industry people so there are a lot of sets out in big mixed groups, in addition to there being more hots girls that usual.
I saw this girl standing near me so I opened her. Tonight, I was thinking about Julien's latest video where he talks about adopting the old CEO frame. I was experimenting with calling girls out for being young and having no direction in life. The frame was working as girls were qualifying themselves to me more than usual. At the first venue, I was even letting silences sit that I normally would have just plowed with my usual stories, and I was surprised to see that girls were filling the silence more often than I would have expected. 2j and I even screwed up this good set that gave us huge IOI's. It was one of our first sets and we just turned and stop talking to them. Something usual happened in that the girls made sure to tell us they enjoyed talking to us and were going for a drink. This was usual because girls won't do that unless that like you because we had already turned away from them. The girls left before we worked our way through the other sets and we didn't approach them again sooner for some reason.
Anyway, I opened this girl and though she wasn't that hot, she was cute, and she had a lot of the values that I look for in girls. She qualified herself with her job title which indicated she pushes herself at work. She loved travel like I do and she shared several interesting adventures she had. The set was so on. I was thinking about isolating her to the dance floor and just as that though appeared, she suggested we dance. On the dance floor, she was a little hesitant to get physical, but then she started to get into it. I started pressing my leg on her crotch in that stimulating way that works so often. I then started to kiss her neck.
Guy in a suit:
At one point, I could see her making eye contact with someone. I figured she knew that person, but I tried to turn her away so she'd focus back on me. It turned out to be this guy in a suit. He grabbed her and started dancing with her. I knew this chick was into me, so I started to get into that motivated zone that I've found myself in several times in the past, even back when my game was far inferior to its current state. When I get determined, I do things that seem Matrix like; I remember this guy grinding with this girl that wanted me at Cadillac Ranch like 3-4 years ago and how I just came in and pulled her off him. I grabbed my girl and twisted her away from this guy.
He came back again, and I decided I was gonna start grinding up on him because that's a good move I learned from the community. A lot of guys get uncomfortable with that stuff so it's a good way to bust them out. Before I could do this, this fat guy grabbed her.
Now I'm motivated:
I walked away and checked my phone. 2j had said he had gone home. One criticism that I have for him is that he doesn't push himself hard enough sometimes. When my wing hooks a set, often I get more movitated to make something happen for me. Saturday and tonight, he just used it as a reason to leave since I had a set hooked and he had already been talking about going home. I text him about the BS situation. I started dancing in place and then I tried dancing with this tall girls on the dance floor. I noticed that this cockblock bullshit made me want to game even harder. I decided I was gonna go back in.
I danced by the dance floor and then I spotted her dancing near the two dudes. I went in, grabbed her hands. I danced with her for a few seconds, spun her, and then dragged her off the dance floor. I positioned myself behind this pillar so we wouldn't be in view of the guys.
Dumb fat jealous chode:
I got her away and then this fat fuck suddenly comes up and puts his arm around her. He says, "This is my girl" and puts his other hand right in front of my face." Before I can talk shit, he drags her off. Now, I'm really motivated. That was some bullshit and I suspected he wasn't really with her. I thought of what Mystery said in one of the first PUA videos I watched from him. Mystery said, "If a guy wants to be a dick, then I'm gonna steal his girl."
I had to dance a bit by myself to get into the right mind frame. Part of me didn't want to deal with this set, but I knew she was into me, and I had a strong feeling that the guy was full of shit too. In the past, I might have worried about dealing with the guy, but I decided I was confident I could handle any situation I put myself in here. It's not like he was some crazy gangbanger. He was this fat chodey looking guy. I told myself that if the guys pushed me, I decided I was gonna say, "Please don't hurt me" and then blitz attack him. Driving home later, I thought that the smartest thing to do would be if the guy threatened me or confronted me, I should just go to the bouncer and give my death stare right into the bouncers eyes and say, "Look, this guy is threatening me. I'd rather not deal with getting in a fight her but I will defend myself. I just want you to know in case anything happens that I didn't start this."
Isolation move:
I had to take a piss and as luck would have it, I spotted her going to the bathroom. I thought about catching up to her, but I did have to pee so I went in the men's room. The bathrooms are downstairs in this club and you walk by the hallway near the entrance to get back to the main club area. I waited in a spot at the edge of the club area where she'd have to walk by me. I just danced by myself to keep myself in state.
Soon, I saw here walking from the stairs. I grabbed her hands and say, "Hey you." Then I lead her to the front hallway. Now I had isolation as there was only the bouncer watching the entrance and people walking into the club in this area. I asked, "What's up with your creepy friends?" She replied, "Yeah, I know. That's why I walked away last time. They are just guys from work."
I got her phone number and we chatted some more. I went for a kiss somewhat awkwardly and she wasn't into it. She didn't pull back but didn't go for the kiss really. She just said, "I just met you." I didn't let it bother me and kept talking. There was a moment a few minutes later that I probably should have went for it again because she was giving me the glazed eye, DDB, look. I didn't take it and then suddenly that original guy in the suit appeared.
Yep, those idiots had sent out that guy to look for her. She tells me, "This is John (or whatever his name is). It's his birthday." I told him, "Happy Birthday." This guy was still trying to somewhat be a cock. He grabbed one of her hands and said, "Are you okay? Tell me if you aren't." I just stood there. She then nodded and said she was fine. The guy then walked away but he stood at the end of the hallway like a stupid chaperon and that made me uncomfortable. I knew this wasn't a good situation because since it was work people, she wouldn't want to look like a slut in front of them. I tried telling her to come with for tacos and she said she had to stay till close. I said I understood her work deal. She said I should bring tacos back as she wanted some. I knew it was unlikely to work but I decided to just leave. I ended up going for tacos by myself.
I ordered some to go in case she responded but no luck, as I expected. It ended up being good for me because since I ate more than I planned, I decided to get back into lifting. I hadn't lifted for two weeks because of the summer cold. I could have probably lifted a few days ago but I got lazy with lifting. Running, I really like, so it's easy to get into. Lifting feels good after I lift, but it's hard for me to get back into it when I'm forced to be on a break. Had I not gone for tacos, I might have blown off lifting for a few days.
What I should have done:
I talked with Nintendo and he said the taco move was a dumb idea. I told him that I knew it probably was but the logistics were shit and I didn't know what to do at the time, so I just took that way out. I told him I was frustrated being in a new situation, but as I said above, I realize that it's a result of pushing myself hard so I should be happy with myself. He pointed out that there isn't always a solution to the logistics. I stayed positive and added that these tough experiences pay off in the future when I end up making a better move from the hard lessons I learned.
After thinking for a few hours, I think I know what I would have done differently in this situation. First, when the suit guy found us by the entrance, I wouldn't have stayed silent and let her tell him she was fine. I would have used breaking rapport and Nintendo's line from a few weeks ago, "Hey. She's a grown woman . If she didn't want to be here, she could walk away at anytime. She doesn't need your help." Next, and probably even preempting the above, I should have told her when I isolated her, "Just tell these guys we went to college together." That would have been using the old conspiracy tactic or "us against them" tactic. It would have worked to handle the work group as she wouldn't look like a slut since they'd think she knew me from college. It would have build more attraction because it was our little secret.
Had I thought of the "college friends" tactic at the time, I could have stayed in the set and possibly pulled. She had said that she wasn't driving home. I forgot to mention that they had been entertaining some clients earlier and the job had paid for hotels downtown for tonight.
Don't browbeat yourself:
That's been a lesson I needed to repeat to myself the last two days. For awhile, I was stuck making mistakes because of ego protection or because I wasn't being a closer. It's easy to know where I went wrong in those sets. Lately, I've been in new situations where I don't have the calibration and it's been tough. I need to emphasize that this is a great thing. It means I'm pushing my comfort zone and that's how you learn best. The tougher the situations you deal with, the faster you grow as well: that's a theme Ozzie talks about in his book and he has said that's why he uses "Fear Technology," as he calls it, on his boot camps.
Let me just close on something that I realized when I was coming back from the gym. I can really feel that my game has improved a lot in the past few weeks. It seems like every night there's at least one set that's really into me. That would happen in the past but I'd just take a number or maybe get a kiss, but now I'm really trying to close. I'm confident I'll have another SNL soon when I finally get the fortune of having a girl who I have strong chemistry with and who has easy logistics.
2j and I were about to call it a night. We had opened everything easy. Part of me felt we should push the mixed sets and the girls dancing up on the VIP section ledges. I probably should start forcing myself to hit those sets but I have to admit it's hard to do so when I'm not in massive state. This Monday venue is especially hard because it's industry people so there are a lot of sets out in big mixed groups, in addition to there being more hots girls that usual.
I saw this girl standing near me so I opened her. Tonight, I was thinking about Julien's latest video where he talks about adopting the old CEO frame. I was experimenting with calling girls out for being young and having no direction in life. The frame was working as girls were qualifying themselves to me more than usual. At the first venue, I was even letting silences sit that I normally would have just plowed with my usual stories, and I was surprised to see that girls were filling the silence more often than I would have expected. 2j and I even screwed up this good set that gave us huge IOI's. It was one of our first sets and we just turned and stop talking to them. Something usual happened in that the girls made sure to tell us they enjoyed talking to us and were going for a drink. This was usual because girls won't do that unless that like you because we had already turned away from them. The girls left before we worked our way through the other sets and we didn't approach them again sooner for some reason.
Anyway, I opened this girl and though she wasn't that hot, she was cute, and she had a lot of the values that I look for in girls. She qualified herself with her job title which indicated she pushes herself at work. She loved travel like I do and she shared several interesting adventures she had. The set was so on. I was thinking about isolating her to the dance floor and just as that though appeared, she suggested we dance. On the dance floor, she was a little hesitant to get physical, but then she started to get into it. I started pressing my leg on her crotch in that stimulating way that works so often. I then started to kiss her neck.
Guy in a suit:
At one point, I could see her making eye contact with someone. I figured she knew that person, but I tried to turn her away so she'd focus back on me. It turned out to be this guy in a suit. He grabbed her and started dancing with her. I knew this chick was into me, so I started to get into that motivated zone that I've found myself in several times in the past, even back when my game was far inferior to its current state. When I get determined, I do things that seem Matrix like; I remember this guy grinding with this girl that wanted me at Cadillac Ranch like 3-4 years ago and how I just came in and pulled her off him. I grabbed my girl and twisted her away from this guy.
He came back again, and I decided I was gonna start grinding up on him because that's a good move I learned from the community. A lot of guys get uncomfortable with that stuff so it's a good way to bust them out. Before I could do this, this fat guy grabbed her.
Now I'm motivated:
I walked away and checked my phone. 2j had said he had gone home. One criticism that I have for him is that he doesn't push himself hard enough sometimes. When my wing hooks a set, often I get more movitated to make something happen for me. Saturday and tonight, he just used it as a reason to leave since I had a set hooked and he had already been talking about going home. I text him about the BS situation. I started dancing in place and then I tried dancing with this tall girls on the dance floor. I noticed that this cockblock bullshit made me want to game even harder. I decided I was gonna go back in.
I danced by the dance floor and then I spotted her dancing near the two dudes. I went in, grabbed her hands. I danced with her for a few seconds, spun her, and then dragged her off the dance floor. I positioned myself behind this pillar so we wouldn't be in view of the guys.
Dumb fat jealous chode:
I got her away and then this fat fuck suddenly comes up and puts his arm around her. He says, "This is my girl" and puts his other hand right in front of my face." Before I can talk shit, he drags her off. Now, I'm really motivated. That was some bullshit and I suspected he wasn't really with her. I thought of what Mystery said in one of the first PUA videos I watched from him. Mystery said, "If a guy wants to be a dick, then I'm gonna steal his girl."
I had to dance a bit by myself to get into the right mind frame. Part of me didn't want to deal with this set, but I knew she was into me, and I had a strong feeling that the guy was full of shit too. In the past, I might have worried about dealing with the guy, but I decided I was confident I could handle any situation I put myself in here. It's not like he was some crazy gangbanger. He was this fat chodey looking guy. I told myself that if the guys pushed me, I decided I was gonna say, "Please don't hurt me" and then blitz attack him. Driving home later, I thought that the smartest thing to do would be if the guy threatened me or confronted me, I should just go to the bouncer and give my death stare right into the bouncers eyes and say, "Look, this guy is threatening me. I'd rather not deal with getting in a fight her but I will defend myself. I just want you to know in case anything happens that I didn't start this."
Isolation move:
I had to take a piss and as luck would have it, I spotted her going to the bathroom. I thought about catching up to her, but I did have to pee so I went in the men's room. The bathrooms are downstairs in this club and you walk by the hallway near the entrance to get back to the main club area. I waited in a spot at the edge of the club area where she'd have to walk by me. I just danced by myself to keep myself in state.
Soon, I saw here walking from the stairs. I grabbed her hands and say, "Hey you." Then I lead her to the front hallway. Now I had isolation as there was only the bouncer watching the entrance and people walking into the club in this area. I asked, "What's up with your creepy friends?" She replied, "Yeah, I know. That's why I walked away last time. They are just guys from work."
I got her phone number and we chatted some more. I went for a kiss somewhat awkwardly and she wasn't into it. She didn't pull back but didn't go for the kiss really. She just said, "I just met you." I didn't let it bother me and kept talking. There was a moment a few minutes later that I probably should have went for it again because she was giving me the glazed eye, DDB, look. I didn't take it and then suddenly that original guy in the suit appeared.
Yep, those idiots had sent out that guy to look for her. She tells me, "This is John (or whatever his name is). It's his birthday." I told him, "Happy Birthday." This guy was still trying to somewhat be a cock. He grabbed one of her hands and said, "Are you okay? Tell me if you aren't." I just stood there. She then nodded and said she was fine. The guy then walked away but he stood at the end of the hallway like a stupid chaperon and that made me uncomfortable. I knew this wasn't a good situation because since it was work people, she wouldn't want to look like a slut in front of them. I tried telling her to come with for tacos and she said she had to stay till close. I said I understood her work deal. She said I should bring tacos back as she wanted some. I knew it was unlikely to work but I decided to just leave. I ended up going for tacos by myself.
I ordered some to go in case she responded but no luck, as I expected. It ended up being good for me because since I ate more than I planned, I decided to get back into lifting. I hadn't lifted for two weeks because of the summer cold. I could have probably lifted a few days ago but I got lazy with lifting. Running, I really like, so it's easy to get into. Lifting feels good after I lift, but it's hard for me to get back into it when I'm forced to be on a break. Had I not gone for tacos, I might have blown off lifting for a few days.
What I should have done:
I talked with Nintendo and he said the taco move was a dumb idea. I told him that I knew it probably was but the logistics were shit and I didn't know what to do at the time, so I just took that way out. I told him I was frustrated being in a new situation, but as I said above, I realize that it's a result of pushing myself hard so I should be happy with myself. He pointed out that there isn't always a solution to the logistics. I stayed positive and added that these tough experiences pay off in the future when I end up making a better move from the hard lessons I learned.
After thinking for a few hours, I think I know what I would have done differently in this situation. First, when the suit guy found us by the entrance, I wouldn't have stayed silent and let her tell him she was fine. I would have used breaking rapport and Nintendo's line from a few weeks ago, "Hey. She's a grown woman . If she didn't want to be here, she could walk away at anytime. She doesn't need your help." Next, and probably even preempting the above, I should have told her when I isolated her, "Just tell these guys we went to college together." That would have been using the old conspiracy tactic or "us against them" tactic. It would have worked to handle the work group as she wouldn't look like a slut since they'd think she knew me from college. It would have build more attraction because it was our little secret.
Had I thought of the "college friends" tactic at the time, I could have stayed in the set and possibly pulled. She had said that she wasn't driving home. I forgot to mention that they had been entertaining some clients earlier and the job had paid for hotels downtown for tonight.
Don't browbeat yourself:
That's been a lesson I needed to repeat to myself the last two days. For awhile, I was stuck making mistakes because of ego protection or because I wasn't being a closer. It's easy to know where I went wrong in those sets. Lately, I've been in new situations where I don't have the calibration and it's been tough. I need to emphasize that this is a great thing. It means I'm pushing my comfort zone and that's how you learn best. The tougher the situations you deal with, the faster you grow as well: that's a theme Ozzie talks about in his book and he has said that's why he uses "Fear Technology," as he calls it, on his boot camps.
Let me just close on something that I realized when I was coming back from the gym. I can really feel that my game has improved a lot in the past few weeks. It seems like every night there's at least one set that's really into me. That would happen in the past but I'd just take a number or maybe get a kiss, but now I'm really trying to close. I'm confident I'll have another SNL soon when I finally get the fortune of having a girl who I have strong chemistry with and who has easy logistics.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Venue changed a redhead but couldn't pull
As I was driving home, I felt frustrated. At the same time, I felt like I really had given my best effort. I always say that I should be happy with putting my best game out there. I think about the sports analogy of playing your heart out and again, I did that. I couldn't help but feel frustrated that my best game just wasn't enough today. I know that these experiences will help in the future and I should just be happy that I have fun and have new experiences.
I almost didn't go out Saturday night. I was in a really bad mood and felt a bit depressed. It was like 8:30pm and I knew that if I didn't text 2j, it was likely he would choose to just blow of the night. I started doing this honorable kill farming in World of Warcraft and was content with staying in, though part of me felt I should sarge. 2j later said that he knew too that since I hadn't text him, I was content with blowing the night off. He decided to text me and I forced myself to go out. I told myself this was free night: I wasn't even going to go out so I might as well try my hardest. I remember telling myself during the drive that I should be happy if anything at all interesting happens because it will be better than a night of just staying in playing World of Warcraft.
I opened quickly when I met up with 2j. I'm happy with how I can usually talk myself into state during the car ride in. Prior to going out, I'd say this was the lowest I've felt in several weeks, or even several months, so I'm happy I opened so quickly and turned my night around.
Redhead in Mixed set at end of the night:
We decided to go into this bar that usually is shitty and then we were gonna go back to our usual spot. We knew he had a half hour before the bars close. As I walked in, I saw my perfect type of girl: I cute redhead. She was seated by the bar and that was the only set in the bar. I took a piss and then came back to 2j. I still don't like mixed sets. I saw three girls and two guys. My redhead wasn't talking to anyone. I made myself approach because I wanted this girl. I also knew that I'd regret not opening later and I hate having that regret.
It opened smoothly and this girl was into me enough that 2j text me that he was going home as things looked on for me. As we talked, I learned she had some of the qualities I look for in girls: she works out and doesn't smoke, she loves travel, she gets excited about food, and she's smart.
I remembered to ask logistics as I often forget to do that. 2j had suggested Friday that once I feel a girl is hooked, I should remind myself to start asking logistical questions. I found out that she lives in DC but grew up in a suburb near O'hare (which is near me). The girl next to her was her cousin. The other girl and guy had walked off. I asked what she was doing afterwards and she said that it was whatever her cousin did.
I had put my arm around her several times and had strong eye contact with her. That her cousin was there made me not want to go for the kiss and perhaps it was partially my reluctance in general to go for it at times. I just hate trying to kiss the girl in front of her friends. I tried to get her to stand up to dance but she was tired.
She later walked off to the bathroom. I decided to stay as I knew this was on. Thinking back, I should have followed through on my move to grab her near the bathroom area and use that as a chance to try to escalate. Instead, I just danced by myself near the cousin. I also considered trying to talk to the cousin but she seemed into talking to the guy there.
Venue change:
The light turned on. I got introduced to the cousin. I mentioned going to after hours. The cousin mentioned this bar about a half mile down Lincoln. I said that we should go and I can drive as my car was close. This is when I learned that my set was really a mixed 4 set. My redhead was there with 3 cousins. The three were all siblings. The cousin next to my redhead inside had just been talking to some random dude. When I went outside I was introduced to her brother and sister.
I told them I'd drive them all to the after hours. The guy looked alpha and I thought he was gonna try to mess with me but he ended up being cool and not as alpha as I thought. I forget that I put out my own vibe when I'm in a decent state so usually people are just cool with me. Yeah, Wednesday was different but I was in a low state at the end of the night.
My girl had time to lose buying temperature because she and the original cousin went to get cheese fries at this hot dog place across the street. I was stuck talking to the guy and girl cousins who had been outside the original bar. I made sure to BS with them a bit; in my head, I figured I'd have a better chance of pulling the redhead if they were all comfortable with me.
Can't escalate and set ended too suddenly:
We finally got inside and I was able to sit next to my girl as we all ate the cheese fries. My plan was to isolate my girl and try to make out as soon as we were done eating. After we were done with the fries, the other female cousin went to get beers. I think I made a mistake here. My redhead was really into this one song and I should have grabbed her then and try to get her to dance in the other room. I decided to wait because I knew beers were coming.
The beers came and I fnished my quickly. The guy started messing with the girls by knocking his beer on top of theirs so the beers would bubble up. I guess I saw a form of teasing: this was easy for him because it was his relatives. I'm bad a teasing because I grew up an only child and didn't have family to interact with in this manner.
I started just talking to my girl as I had been silent too long. She started to get tired again. I tried several times to get her to dance. Thinking back, maybe I should have stood up and tried to pull her as Ozzie described.
The cousins that had been outside got up. I thought they might be getting another drink. Suddenly the guy returned and shook my hand. He said, "Hey, it was nice meeting you." Then the original cousin got up too. My girl started to get up and I said, "You guys are leaving already?" She had a hard time standing up from the chair as she had been boxed in by a chair behind. The original cousin helped her up. When she stood up, I grabbed her and spun her around. Then she said she had to go. I offered to drive her, but she said she was fine. I then was lame and said, "When are you gonna be back in town?" She said, "Never."
Fuck!
Never give up?!:
I let the set walk out, and I'll discuss the merits of that in a second. I figured I was busted out and I was ready to just drive home. Then, I told myself I might as well try with whatever is left at this bar. I happened to see this cute redhead next to me so I sarged her. She kept trying to say, "It was nice meeting you," but I actually plowed like newbies are supposed to do. I just started a new thread and kept talking. I finally gave up when I tried to move her to the other room and failed and she wasn't responding well to my attempts at kino.
Next,I grabbed this somewhat cute, but fat brunette. I tried giving her strong eye contact. She seemed a bit standoffish. I kept plowing thinking I'd turn it around but eventually her friend pulled her away and I knew I was busted out.
Now, I'm wondering if I should have followed my set outside. I suppose I could have offered to drive the original cousin, who lived on the Northwest side, and my redhead home. Then, I could try to get the redhead to get White Castle and come over. I don't think the logistics were gonna work like that though as the cousin would be wary of leaving the redhead with me, and plus my redhead had lost buying temperature.
I think I could have seeded offering her a ride home when we got to the second venue. I could have mentioned the plan and seen if she'd be cool with it. Also, as she was getting tired, I could have just tried offering a ride then. She had said she was still hungry after the fries. I had mentioned White Castle but I never pressed it to make actual plans. Somehow, I though I had till the bar closed. In retrospect, I should have tried to pull her by trying to give her a ride home.
Bad logistics:
Yeah, this was an example of bad logistics. It's good that I'm starting to remember to screen for logistics in every set. The whole point is to figure out what girls are likely pulls and to avoid girls with shitty logistics like this set. Also, Julian talks about how you need to solve all her logistical problems for her in order to pull and she'll tell you what obstacles are in the way of you and her ending up alone together.
It's good I stayed in this set, though. First of all, she was my type. I was starting to get excited about the prospect of hooking up with her: she was a natural redhead and of course had the pale skin I love. I like redheads so much that I go for chubby ones too but this one had a decent body. Second point is that it was the end of the night and I didn't have any other prospects. Third, I need venue change and pull practice so I might as well stick a set out and try to learn from it if I can't make it happen. The lessons from failure eventually help out in future pulls.
I should not brow beat myself. As I said in the intro, I really gave it my best shot. There might not have been a way to solve the logistical problems in the end. She was out with family so she probably wasn't gonna want to come home with me in front of them. I think the ride home with food excuse was my best bet but I didn't get to try it. I also deserve props for trying to sarge the other 2 girls in the venue after my set left.
I almost didn't go out Saturday night. I was in a really bad mood and felt a bit depressed. It was like 8:30pm and I knew that if I didn't text 2j, it was likely he would choose to just blow of the night. I started doing this honorable kill farming in World of Warcraft and was content with staying in, though part of me felt I should sarge. 2j later said that he knew too that since I hadn't text him, I was content with blowing the night off. He decided to text me and I forced myself to go out. I told myself this was free night: I wasn't even going to go out so I might as well try my hardest. I remember telling myself during the drive that I should be happy if anything at all interesting happens because it will be better than a night of just staying in playing World of Warcraft.
I opened quickly when I met up with 2j. I'm happy with how I can usually talk myself into state during the car ride in. Prior to going out, I'd say this was the lowest I've felt in several weeks, or even several months, so I'm happy I opened so quickly and turned my night around.
Redhead in Mixed set at end of the night:
We decided to go into this bar that usually is shitty and then we were gonna go back to our usual spot. We knew he had a half hour before the bars close. As I walked in, I saw my perfect type of girl: I cute redhead. She was seated by the bar and that was the only set in the bar. I took a piss and then came back to 2j. I still don't like mixed sets. I saw three girls and two guys. My redhead wasn't talking to anyone. I made myself approach because I wanted this girl. I also knew that I'd regret not opening later and I hate having that regret.
It opened smoothly and this girl was into me enough that 2j text me that he was going home as things looked on for me. As we talked, I learned she had some of the qualities I look for in girls: she works out and doesn't smoke, she loves travel, she gets excited about food, and she's smart.
I remembered to ask logistics as I often forget to do that. 2j had suggested Friday that once I feel a girl is hooked, I should remind myself to start asking logistical questions. I found out that she lives in DC but grew up in a suburb near O'hare (which is near me). The girl next to her was her cousin. The other girl and guy had walked off. I asked what she was doing afterwards and she said that it was whatever her cousin did.
I had put my arm around her several times and had strong eye contact with her. That her cousin was there made me not want to go for the kiss and perhaps it was partially my reluctance in general to go for it at times. I just hate trying to kiss the girl in front of her friends. I tried to get her to stand up to dance but she was tired.
She later walked off to the bathroom. I decided to stay as I knew this was on. Thinking back, I should have followed through on my move to grab her near the bathroom area and use that as a chance to try to escalate. Instead, I just danced by myself near the cousin. I also considered trying to talk to the cousin but she seemed into talking to the guy there.
Venue change:
The light turned on. I got introduced to the cousin. I mentioned going to after hours. The cousin mentioned this bar about a half mile down Lincoln. I said that we should go and I can drive as my car was close. This is when I learned that my set was really a mixed 4 set. My redhead was there with 3 cousins. The three were all siblings. The cousin next to my redhead inside had just been talking to some random dude. When I went outside I was introduced to her brother and sister.
I told them I'd drive them all to the after hours. The guy looked alpha and I thought he was gonna try to mess with me but he ended up being cool and not as alpha as I thought. I forget that I put out my own vibe when I'm in a decent state so usually people are just cool with me. Yeah, Wednesday was different but I was in a low state at the end of the night.
My girl had time to lose buying temperature because she and the original cousin went to get cheese fries at this hot dog place across the street. I was stuck talking to the guy and girl cousins who had been outside the original bar. I made sure to BS with them a bit; in my head, I figured I'd have a better chance of pulling the redhead if they were all comfortable with me.
Can't escalate and set ended too suddenly:
We finally got inside and I was able to sit next to my girl as we all ate the cheese fries. My plan was to isolate my girl and try to make out as soon as we were done eating. After we were done with the fries, the other female cousin went to get beers. I think I made a mistake here. My redhead was really into this one song and I should have grabbed her then and try to get her to dance in the other room. I decided to wait because I knew beers were coming.
The beers came and I fnished my quickly. The guy started messing with the girls by knocking his beer on top of theirs so the beers would bubble up. I guess I saw a form of teasing: this was easy for him because it was his relatives. I'm bad a teasing because I grew up an only child and didn't have family to interact with in this manner.
I started just talking to my girl as I had been silent too long. She started to get tired again. I tried several times to get her to dance. Thinking back, maybe I should have stood up and tried to pull her as Ozzie described.
The cousins that had been outside got up. I thought they might be getting another drink. Suddenly the guy returned and shook my hand. He said, "Hey, it was nice meeting you." Then the original cousin got up too. My girl started to get up and I said, "You guys are leaving already?" She had a hard time standing up from the chair as she had been boxed in by a chair behind. The original cousin helped her up. When she stood up, I grabbed her and spun her around. Then she said she had to go. I offered to drive her, but she said she was fine. I then was lame and said, "When are you gonna be back in town?" She said, "Never."
Fuck!
Never give up?!:
I let the set walk out, and I'll discuss the merits of that in a second. I figured I was busted out and I was ready to just drive home. Then, I told myself I might as well try with whatever is left at this bar. I happened to see this cute redhead next to me so I sarged her. She kept trying to say, "It was nice meeting you," but I actually plowed like newbies are supposed to do. I just started a new thread and kept talking. I finally gave up when I tried to move her to the other room and failed and she wasn't responding well to my attempts at kino.
Next,I grabbed this somewhat cute, but fat brunette. I tried giving her strong eye contact. She seemed a bit standoffish. I kept plowing thinking I'd turn it around but eventually her friend pulled her away and I knew I was busted out.
Now, I'm wondering if I should have followed my set outside. I suppose I could have offered to drive the original cousin, who lived on the Northwest side, and my redhead home. Then, I could try to get the redhead to get White Castle and come over. I don't think the logistics were gonna work like that though as the cousin would be wary of leaving the redhead with me, and plus my redhead had lost buying temperature.
I think I could have seeded offering her a ride home when we got to the second venue. I could have mentioned the plan and seen if she'd be cool with it. Also, as she was getting tired, I could have just tried offering a ride then. She had said she was still hungry after the fries. I had mentioned White Castle but I never pressed it to make actual plans. Somehow, I though I had till the bar closed. In retrospect, I should have tried to pull her by trying to give her a ride home.
Bad logistics:
Yeah, this was an example of bad logistics. It's good that I'm starting to remember to screen for logistics in every set. The whole point is to figure out what girls are likely pulls and to avoid girls with shitty logistics like this set. Also, Julian talks about how you need to solve all her logistical problems for her in order to pull and she'll tell you what obstacles are in the way of you and her ending up alone together.
It's good I stayed in this set, though. First of all, she was my type. I was starting to get excited about the prospect of hooking up with her: she was a natural redhead and of course had the pale skin I love. I like redheads so much that I go for chubby ones too but this one had a decent body. Second point is that it was the end of the night and I didn't have any other prospects. Third, I need venue change and pull practice so I might as well stick a set out and try to learn from it if I can't make it happen. The lessons from failure eventually help out in future pulls.
I should not brow beat myself. As I said in the intro, I really gave it my best shot. There might not have been a way to solve the logistical problems in the end. She was out with family so she probably wasn't gonna want to come home with me in front of them. I think the ride home with food excuse was my best bet but I didn't get to try it. I also deserve props for trying to sarge the other 2 girls in the venue after my set left.
Thurs & Fri Ego Protection
I feel this blog isn't complete without writing about every night out. Thursday, I went out with 2j to River North. I was proud that I pushed myself to open several tall girls. I also opened this blonde 3 times because she seemed high buying temperature initially. I feel like I lost her when I started dancing with her and I wasn't having fun because we were in a bad spot at the bar. I kept getting bumped by people who were trying to get by.
Our biggest mistakes involved ego protection. 2j and I had two sets that we could have kept plowing. Yeah, the girls seemed boring and weren't responding well but since it was a slow night, we should have kept trying to run game longer to see if anything would stick. My big mistake was when I opened this 2-set. There was this cute little brunette who was friendly and responded well to my opener. The friend was unfriendly so I used it as an excuse to leave. 2j and I talked about it after and we agreed the friend probably wouldn't have interfered. I left for ego protection reasons.
Friday, I was in a low energy mood. I got into state by using some dumb openers. The momentum building does work and I need to remember to just do that when I'm in a low state. Since I've been going out so much, I had gotten used to just being pumped up from the start. We had several longer sets.
My favorite set of the night was this blonde that was really hooked. I just couldn't get her to leave the friends as she was in a big set of like 5-6 girls that were leaving. I probably should have just gone for the quick make out so I could have gotten something out of the set at least.
At the very end of the night, when we were walking to the car (and street game was about done), we spotted this two set with an okay short brunette and this big fat girl. I told 2j I'd take the fat one because I knew he was already ready to quit for the night and wouldn't go for the set otherwise. Sometimes, I just want to practice pulling. Well, the fat girl was drunk and responding well. We tried to get them to go for food but they said they were looking for their 3rd roommate. It was funny because she showed up and she was my type, a cute redhead, and she was with a Tyler looking guy (who obviously is also a redhead). They spotted the friend a few doors down and the brunette went to go talk to her. They waved my fat girl over. I looked for 2j to come with but he didn't want to pursue the set.
I knew that if I wanted to close this girl, I'd have to go over. I think it was ego protection that made me not want to do it. On top of that, I wasn't that excited about the possibility of laying this fat girl. I just let the set run off.
Saturday afternoon, I started thinking that I probably should have stayed in that set for practice. Besides that, I think I'm like some naturals. If I banged that fattie, I'd build state off it and it would help me in future nights.
Our biggest mistakes involved ego protection. 2j and I had two sets that we could have kept plowing. Yeah, the girls seemed boring and weren't responding well but since it was a slow night, we should have kept trying to run game longer to see if anything would stick. My big mistake was when I opened this 2-set. There was this cute little brunette who was friendly and responded well to my opener. The friend was unfriendly so I used it as an excuse to leave. 2j and I talked about it after and we agreed the friend probably wouldn't have interfered. I left for ego protection reasons.
Friday, I was in a low energy mood. I got into state by using some dumb openers. The momentum building does work and I need to remember to just do that when I'm in a low state. Since I've been going out so much, I had gotten used to just being pumped up from the start. We had several longer sets.
My favorite set of the night was this blonde that was really hooked. I just couldn't get her to leave the friends as she was in a big set of like 5-6 girls that were leaving. I probably should have just gone for the quick make out so I could have gotten something out of the set at least.
At the very end of the night, when we were walking to the car (and street game was about done), we spotted this two set with an okay short brunette and this big fat girl. I told 2j I'd take the fat one because I knew he was already ready to quit for the night and wouldn't go for the set otherwise. Sometimes, I just want to practice pulling. Well, the fat girl was drunk and responding well. We tried to get them to go for food but they said they were looking for their 3rd roommate. It was funny because she showed up and she was my type, a cute redhead, and she was with a Tyler looking guy (who obviously is also a redhead). They spotted the friend a few doors down and the brunette went to go talk to her. They waved my fat girl over. I looked for 2j to come with but he didn't want to pursue the set.
I knew that if I wanted to close this girl, I'd have to go over. I think it was ego protection that made me not want to do it. On top of that, I wasn't that excited about the possibility of laying this fat girl. I just let the set run off.
Saturday afternoon, I started thinking that I probably should have stayed in that set for practice. Besides that, I think I'm like some naturals. If I banged that fattie, I'd build state off it and it would help me in future nights.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
The most willpower and the most pain
Out of all of my wings and all the people I've sarged with, I can say almost certainly that I have the most willpower in terms of pushing things to the bitter end. Many guys in my situation wouldn't have gotten the SNL Saturday because they would have quit cause they were having a shitty night. They also would have to face some of the pain I endure because they don't push as hard.
I had a Day 2 today with this girl I met two Fridays ago. I thought the prospects were good. She responded to my texts immediately every time. She even got to the Day 2 location a half hour ahead of time. We were constantly talking but I guess I just couldn't get it to click with her. Where I went wrong is that she was too stuck on her way of doing things and I was stuck on mine. She also just wasn't feeling my vibe I suppose.
Now I really wanted to go home after the Day 2. I had no wings that were coming out and I was faced with a venue I have never done well in. I was drunk after the Day 2 and I just decided to keep drinking at the dollar beer place.
I hit that place up hard from the start. I was getting busted out early on. After that it was just a blur. I got some free food that this 2-set offered me. I pushed but didn't have any solid sets. I didn't number close or get anywhere close to pulling. The one or two girls that showed some bit of interested were pulled away by their friends.
Even after I started drinking there, I could have still left early and caught the train home. I decided to stay to the end. I then moved to Rush and Division. Normally, I'd just use the text to get into Spy Bar for this Latin promotion. Spy Bar on Wednesdays I just end up dancing by myself. It's usually so loud and crowded and there aren't many quality sets.
I ran into this natural that I met through 2j. It was like I had a wing then. We hit up McFaddens and I hooked some sets there but again I couldn't make anything happen.
The pain of high school:
I ended up in this 3 set of Irish girls with some black dude this natural recognized and some other black dude. I was just hanging around because there was an extra girl and nothing else to do. My mistake was I didn't select a target and really try to run my game. I just hung out trying to throw in some comments in the group conversation.
This might have been an example of how dumb your game can be. The guys wouldn't push for a close and just choded around but the girls kept hanging around. Perhaps it's an example of how I over think this as well. They tried to get some liquor at the CVS that has no liquor and were told the other place doesn't sell after 3am anyway. We walked with them by Hunt Club. The leader guy was talking about going to some liquor store on the north side that was near the girls place.
I actually felt like leaving because nothing was happening but I forced myself to stay. This is when I felt the pain. The guy decided to try to get them to go north to this liquor store but then he also decided he was gonna be a cock and bust me out. I'll admit I wasn't at my best, but that's just dumb anyway. There are 3 girls and 3 guys. By getting rid of me, there's an extra girl that's gonna prevent a lay. The dude got rid of me and my comeback wasn't good enough. Besides, I never really hooked any of the girls so I was just hanging around I suppose.
Still, that shit hurt. It was like my AFC days all over again. I've had some good times the last month but I've also been in that high school AFC frame twice. After all the changes I've made, once again, I'm the guy that's the reject, I'm the guy that the girls don't want. WTF?
Positive reframe:
I don't want to be negative. I know that I have to give myself credit. I pushed things all the way to the end and stayed in this 3-set because there was nothing let to sarge. I could have quit after the Day 2 or any time sooner then when I finally did quit. I have the willpower to push to the bitter end and that attitude will give me extra lays in the future that other guys will less will power would miss out on.
I can't control that the leader guy was lame and strategically played the game badly. Maybe he banged the girls despite this. Who knows? I do know that he might have raised his value in the moment he busted me out, but I don't see how that helps him get any closer to getting laid now that he has to do will an extra girl instead of having me around to occupy one.
The lesson I learn is I need to just take charge. I was being cool and just trying to talk to the odd girl out. Instead, I should have chosen a girl I liked and pushed for it instead of showing respect to these guy's set and trying to just help out. They fucked me in the end but I was dumb to play like I would wing one of my real wings.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Sarging sometimes brings more problems instead of joy
I surprised at the shit state I'm still in at this moment. It many ways, today was a shitty day. Let's see. I blew up on an FB and she's got really mad at me. Firework, the SNL from Saturday isn't responding; I was hoping I could turn her into a regular girl but it's looking likely to be a one night stand, which sucks. Nintendo and I went sarging and I was afraid to approach this tall girl again that I had hooked. I'm gonna guess that it was a form of state control: my ego wanted to be happy with that initial good result and didn't want to risk the bust out at the time.
Sarging itself will never make me happy, it comes from within:
I believe that's the big lesson here and part of why I feel down. I realized more than ever that I just have to decide to be happy. Tyler has always said that you just have to be happy with the process: I need to just enjoy going out and sarging. I do for the most part. When I wasn't having sex, I kept telling myself I would be happy if I had sex regularly. Then that started happening and I told myself I needed more girls and better looking girls. I also felt like I needed a pull to feel complete.
I realized tonight that my mind, if I let it, will keep coming up with excuse to be unhappy. I wrote about this Sunday and it seems even more true now. If I pulled the tall hottie tonight, I'd still be back to normal when I went out Thursday. If I had 4 hot girls in rotation, I might complaint hat I need even hotter girls, or more sexual adventurous girls, or smarter girls, or whatever.
I've known that you can'T find happiness in sarging in itself. I've heard it said before yet somehow I thought I was gonna find it.
Long term mating strategy now:
I think I also feel down that I'm starting to get disillusioned with the game, but I suppose it's time to get out of short term mating strategy. I've focused solely on fixing sarging but it's time to focus on other parts of my life. I've gathered that the key to happiness is setting goals on the things that make me happy. Then I try to work forward towards those goals every day or as often as I can and just enjoy the process and eventually the results I'm looking for will come. Tyler said in The Blueprint, "The end is anti-climatic."
Results lately haven't even been bad:
This just builds upon what Tyler said and why you need to find happiness in the process. I met up with the FB today because I was horny and have told myself it's better to just wait to have sex than to beat off. I thought getting laid would help me with sarging tonight and would help me with my Day 2 tomorrow. It used to help but I've gotten too comfortable and it barely makes a difference now. I know it's because I've forgotten how it feels to not get laid at all.
Obviously, I got the SNL and I should still be ecstatic about that. Yes it sucks that it looks like it's gonna turn into a one night thing but I should still appreciate that I got the SNL. I told Nintendo that i value SNL's so much since I haven't had that many of them. I'd rather have an SNL than two Day 2 f closes.
Tonight, I had a cute tall girl into me and I just have to not practice ego protection . I was feeling shitty yet I still made myself approach. I got this Middle Eastern girl's phone number and a likely Day 2 soon. She doesn't drink and really wants to be shown around Chicago so she shouldn't flake.
The Day 2 Wednesday night looks promising. That girl always responds quickly to my texts and seems eager to meet up. I've overanalzyed it too much tonight with Nintendo, but now I have a game plan and I should trust in my ability to make something happen.
Basically, I should focus on other areas in my life as I've neglected them the whole summer basically for sarging, with the exception of exercise. I need to get out of the negative state. I need to focus on the positive and trust that I'll make good things happen in my life.
As for the FB, I apologized for yelling at her, but she should cut me some slack. She's known me for a year and I've never raised my voice before. I feel bad but what else can I do?
Sarging itself will never make me happy, it comes from within:
I believe that's the big lesson here and part of why I feel down. I realized more than ever that I just have to decide to be happy. Tyler has always said that you just have to be happy with the process: I need to just enjoy going out and sarging. I do for the most part. When I wasn't having sex, I kept telling myself I would be happy if I had sex regularly. Then that started happening and I told myself I needed more girls and better looking girls. I also felt like I needed a pull to feel complete.
I realized tonight that my mind, if I let it, will keep coming up with excuse to be unhappy. I wrote about this Sunday and it seems even more true now. If I pulled the tall hottie tonight, I'd still be back to normal when I went out Thursday. If I had 4 hot girls in rotation, I might complaint hat I need even hotter girls, or more sexual adventurous girls, or smarter girls, or whatever.
I've known that you can'T find happiness in sarging in itself. I've heard it said before yet somehow I thought I was gonna find it.
Long term mating strategy now:
I think I also feel down that I'm starting to get disillusioned with the game, but I suppose it's time to get out of short term mating strategy. I've focused solely on fixing sarging but it's time to focus on other parts of my life. I've gathered that the key to happiness is setting goals on the things that make me happy. Then I try to work forward towards those goals every day or as often as I can and just enjoy the process and eventually the results I'm looking for will come. Tyler said in The Blueprint, "The end is anti-climatic."
Results lately haven't even been bad:
This just builds upon what Tyler said and why you need to find happiness in the process. I met up with the FB today because I was horny and have told myself it's better to just wait to have sex than to beat off. I thought getting laid would help me with sarging tonight and would help me with my Day 2 tomorrow. It used to help but I've gotten too comfortable and it barely makes a difference now. I know it's because I've forgotten how it feels to not get laid at all.
Obviously, I got the SNL and I should still be ecstatic about that. Yes it sucks that it looks like it's gonna turn into a one night thing but I should still appreciate that I got the SNL. I told Nintendo that i value SNL's so much since I haven't had that many of them. I'd rather have an SNL than two Day 2 f closes.
Tonight, I had a cute tall girl into me and I just have to not practice ego protection . I was feeling shitty yet I still made myself approach. I got this Middle Eastern girl's phone number and a likely Day 2 soon. She doesn't drink and really wants to be shown around Chicago so she shouldn't flake.
The Day 2 Wednesday night looks promising. That girl always responds quickly to my texts and seems eager to meet up. I've overanalzyed it too much tonight with Nintendo, but now I have a game plan and I should trust in my ability to make something happen.
Basically, I should focus on other areas in my life as I've neglected them the whole summer basically for sarging, with the exception of exercise. I need to get out of the negative state. I need to focus on the positive and trust that I'll make good things happen in my life.
As for the FB, I apologized for yelling at her, but she should cut me some slack. She's known me for a year and I've never raised my voice before. I feel bad but what else can I do?
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Car ride with hot girl knocks them all off the pedastal
Tonight was gonna just be some simple lesson on keeping my frame while dealings with an AMOG, a lesson I basically know. I only lose frame in encounters with AMOG's if I'm in a low state, which I was tonight, or if the guy happens to be really good, which is rare, and this guy wasn't that type. Instead, I learned a key inner game lesson in terms of entitlement.
At the end of the night, Nintendo must have wanted to open this brunette sitting on the stairs outside of the club while we were waiting for AndyDufresne. I realized it later when I told him that he should of opened the girl instead of pointing it out to me. I reminded him that the times I'm pointing out sets is when I want to open them but want him to do the work for me for whatever reason: state control, approach anxiety, etc. I opened with the dumb Green Hornet opener, "Hey, I have a question. We thinking about going out for Halloween as as super hero duo. Can he pull off a Latino Green Hornet?" She said that he could do it. I replied that I'm going to be Kato. Then I just said, "I'm just playing around. I wanted to meet you. I'm Teddy."
She told me early on that she had lost her credit card and was trying to decide how to get home. Later on, I started to wonder if that had even been true. My response was, "Well, that sucks. Just call the credit card and cancel it. Problem solved!"
The only cool thing about her was she spoke her mind and she supposedly enjoys equestrian. Other than that, she had a lot of qualities that I often use as examples of girls I don't like. She told me at one point that for fun she like to "party a lot and do drugs." Lol, that's a big negative. I'd fuck her but she'd never be an LTR. She also was one of those girls who has never left the Chicago area and is afraid to fly. When girls tell me they like travel, I usually follow with, "That's cool. I'm glad you're not one of those people who has never left that state, and more importantly has no desire to travel. Like, seriously? You've never saw a movie or read about a place that you'd really like to visit and see with your own eyes?!"
While Nintendo was an awesome wing on Saturday, he apologized later when I called him out what he did. He and AndyDufresne were standing outside and Nintendo wanted to get home so he came into the set. I know he did it because he wanted to get some rest but I also said later, "You know that I never approach you when you're one-on-one with a girl." I can't be too mad as I wouldn't have gotten laid Saturday if he hadn't helped me out. Besides that I knew he wanted to get home, there are so many girls out there that you should never get butt hurt about one girl, and this girl wasn't quality: she was just hot.
These are the girls that we idolize in the club and are afraid to approach?!
As I was about to drop the wings off, I told them that I came to the realization above. I told them that this was the same realization I had when we met that blonde at the Willow set's apartment. This girl just happened to be way hotter but both girls might be girls we'd be afraid to approach at the club.
Girls only have power over me if I let them. It's a choice.
I thought about how I'm like Neo in the Matrix when guys or girls that I don't know talk shit to me. The only ones who can mess up my frame are guys that actually know me, and even if what they said hurt, I'd get over it after thinking it over for awhile. Random people can't make anything stick on me because I really don't give a fuck what they think about me (Tim's lesson from Transformations and Flawless Natural.) First of all, they don't know the real me, they are just basing it on some short impression they have of me. Second of all, I just don't care what they think because they are nobodies to me. Third, I don't even let friends or even my dear mother determine my path in life. I do things my way and I set my own goals on what I want in life. People who know about my life know this is true.
When strangers talk shit, all those insults or whatever are like bullets flying at me, and like in the Matrix, they just stop and don't hurt me.
I realized again today that it's the same when it comes to hot girls. If I have anxiety about approaching them, it's because I let myself think like that. I let myself doubt if I am enough. RSD Alex says to tell yourself, "There is no reason I'm not enough." Nowadays, I'll usually open most girls. The only time I might not open is if I'm in a really low state, and that's rare lately. Still, sometimes the hot girls can mess with me later on in the set. I'm dumb to allow myself to even indulge in that line of thnking.
We give her a ride and learn she's a massive liar and a value taker:
The girl asked me for a ride home when we said we were leaving. One of the wings said we could give her a ride as I was driving. I really didn't care and almost didn't give her a ride but I found out it wasn't far away and I might as well interact with a hot girl for a bit just for fun. We got to my car and she tried to give me shit about the car, "What is this, like a $2000 car?" Many guys would try to qualify themselves. Again, I don't even care that I have a crappy car. I had a sports car when I was an AFC and I know that my car doesn't mean anything. I wouldn't want a girl that would date me just because I had a cool car anyway. On top of that, she was the broke one asking me for a ride because she's too cheap to get a taxi (Nintendo pointed that she likely didn't want to take a taxi for that reason, and that we were fun.) While she was getting into the front seat , I saw the cans I have on the floor and said, "You forgot to add in the few cents I can get for those cans I'm gonna recycle there."
She replies, "I see you really like Mountain Dew."
I replied, "Mountain Dew. Do you really think I would buy actual Mountain Dew. Hell No. That's the Walmart Brand of Mountain Dew."
HB: Is it really?
Me: Yeah.
HB: Is it Diet.
Me: Yeah.
HB: Cool, Can I have one?
Me: You forgot to say the magic word. You learn it in kindergarten.
HB: May I please have one?
Me: Yeah, no problem.
Thus far, she's okay. The shit tests are just natural things girls do to test frame and I'm not bothered by them. I just wrote out these bits of conversation because I was happy with how I was interacting with her. I felt no nervousness around her. Yeah, she was attractive and had nice legs but I wasn't thinking, "Wow this chick was hot." It was my wings who kept raving about how hot she was. Part of the problem was that she's a brunette and I like blondes and redheads. She was one of the better looking girls we encountered tonight, but also, I really have become more comfortable with hot girls. They get no special treatment from me. In fact, lately, I call them out even more because I know they are used to getting what they want.
She was cool in that she was very blunt and spoke her mind. I noticed she was dropping in sexual comments for attention. My two wings were responding to it but I never acknowledged them.
We started noticing the lies as we're driving. First, she said she's supposedly married to some Chicago Blackhawks player. Nintendo called her out for not having a ring and she claimed that she doesn't wear it. Nintendo joked that she must try to use guys for free drinks and doesn't wear it for that reason. Later she refered to a boyfriend and then a fiance. I'd believe that she banged or is banging a hockey player. She's hot enough that I'd believe it but the lies just become more clear the more we drive. She mentioned living at her boyfriend's place and at the end of the night says she has a roommate. The guy is in town and then out of town. She's with her brothers and then not with them.
Do you smoke weed?
We mentioned getting tacos and she jumped on the idea. I was willing to get some food. Here I got to mess with her some more. I mentioned this burrito place in Lincoln Park and she said, "Is there a place with drive through burritos?" I said, "Yeah, there's this place called Taco Bell, but we're not getting that." My wings laughed when I said that.
Nintendo asked if she smoked weed. She said she does indeed and Nintendo said we should smoke and eat tacos. She asked if we have some or if we have to go get some. Nintendo said he has some at home but it's far. She said, "Naw, I have a bowl packed at home." Nintendo said, "Well, here's what we'll do. We'll stop at your place, you'll go get it, we'll smoke and get some tacos." She started making obvious bullshit excuses, "My doorman is a dick. I lost my keys and he'll charge me $75 dollars just to get in." Nintendo called her out for lying and I said, "Yeah. I don't even smoke but quit your bullshit." Then she said , "My boyfriend is there. How am I gonna go in and grab a bag of weed and then say I'm leaving. He's gonna say, 'Who's dick are you gonna go suck?'"
Nintendo said at this point that he was tired and didn't want to get tacos. I wanted to drop her off too. It was obvious she didn't want to share the weed and was just trying to be a mooch. It's funny cause I don't even smoke it and wouldn't but I hate value takers. Nintendo realized she just wanted free weed and I agreed with him wanting to just end the night.
On a side note, Andydufresne tried to give me shit about not smoking weed. He said, "Really, you've never tried weed? Are you telling me that if a hot girl, your dream girl was gonna suck your dick, you wouldn't smoke weed."
I told him that the honest truth is that I would not do it. He tried to call bullshit on that but I said, "If a hot, 6 foot tall redhead was ready to fuck me but she wanted me to smoke weed with her, I would not do it."
I added later, "In 35 years, I've never smoked weed in my life. Do you think that I didn't face peer pressure in high school? My friends did it but I never have. There's not way I'm gonna do it now and especially when I'm running 6 miles a day. I'm not putting anything in my lungs."
That's the truth, although I've acknowledged that there's a chance I'd eat marijuana brownies in Amsterdam. When I was there a few years ago, I realized if Sidegames had come with me, I would have been willing to eat them but not smoke up.
Just because you have a pussy, doesn't mean you have power over me:
I went to brush my teeth and started thinking about that. It's not entirely true. I bought drinks for Promoter girl. I paid for Firework's two taco's on Friday. Those were different situations. Nintendo said part of the reason he didn't want to go get food was because he sensed she was gonna try to get us to pay for the food. He sensed she was the type that gives a lot of fake IOI's to get stuff from guys. I agreed with his assessment, but I said that if we had gone for food, I wouldn't have paid for the food here and would have made her pay. This is the truth. One on one, there was a chance I'd pay for the food, but in this case with two wings with me in just a friendly set like this, I wouldn't pay for her food.
We dropped her off and that was that. During the ride back, we talked about her. Andydufresne and Nintendo said there was a chance that if we had weed we might have all been able to fuck her. I said there was a slight chance but then Nintendo also brought up that she was the type to give fake IOI"s to get stuff. I said that we could have went for burritos but I understood that Nintendo wanted to go home.
Then I said, "If anyone was supposed to waste time trying to see if they could fuck her, it should have been me. Why did you two come into a one-on-one set anyway? You know I'd never do that to you guys. You know that I've never come up to you when you've been one-on-one with a girl." Nintendo apologized. I explained my thoughts on the matter earlier.
I have a choice:
Yes, pussy has had power over me at the past. Sometimes, it's okay to pay like on Saturday. I had already made out with the girl and we were talking about a few tacos and a lay seemed very possible.
Girls should not have power over me at the club. I get afraid to approach sometimes only because the girl is hot. So what? Most of the time, I believe this, but sometimes I do doubt myself. The question is for what, just because at a night club, a hot girl is the pinnacle of social status there.
This girl and the blonde from the willow set made me realize how we're often so wrong about these girls that we place on pedestals and are sometimes afraid to approach at the bar.
I've have a one night stand with this girl. I'd keep her around as a fuck buddy or do minimal stuff to keep her around but she would never have real girlfriend status with me based on what I learned about her tonight. That's the truth right there. I have higher standards for what I want from a girlfriend. Sure, this girl is way hotter than my ex, but my ex's intelligence and personality blow this girl's personality out of the water. Her non physical attributes are about equivalent to some fat ugly girl's physical attributes. I like how she didn't filter herself and was a little feisty but that's it in terms of personality.
My Wings and I in comparison to these girls:
I've always believe in being humble and often I'm so hard on myself that I never acknowledge my good attributes. This girl really got me thinking though. Again, she wasn't even hot enough for me that I was intimidated about approaching her but my two wings kept talking about how hot this girl was for them. That being said, let's just imagine she is the type of girl that is really my type. So what?
I'm getting closer, but I can't say I've fully internalized this belief yet. It will take time but I know tonight was a big step. This girl was attractive and I loved how I wasn't nervous around her and how I easily called her out on her bullshit and wasn't phased at all by her shit tests (i.e. the car comment, my Taco Bell swipe, etc).
Let's get to the point of the title of this section. I'm imagining myself at the club in the future. I see a hot girl that I'm hesitant to approach. When I do that, I'll think about how I'm choosing to give her power over me. I have a choice to make myself impervious to that fact that she's hot. Beyond that, I can hide my emotions: I've done it successfully at poker when money big money for the stakes has been on the line.
I should also think about that Willow blonde. Let's think about this girl. A girl I might be afraid to approach could be the druggy party girl that I rip on to other girls that have qualities I actually like, might be some pathological liar, might be a value taker that easily uses her hotness to get most fools to buy her all kinds of crazy stuff. There are stories in the community of hot girls that have idiot AFC's paying for their cars or apartments while they end up fucking some player on the side.
My wings or I are letting this type of girls have power over us? We really think we aren't worthy of that? Obviously, I'm stereotyping. A girl could be highly intelligent or well traveled in addition to being hot. I can only find that out if I approach her.
We're also forgetting something key. We have a lot of qualities that make us high value guys. We're self actualized guys that are constantly improving ourselves. Let's get off the we. I'm gonna talk about myself so I can ingrain my good qualities in my head. I hate doing this, but I need to remind myself. Let me see, I'm a smart guy and I sometimes like intellectual stimulation. Only several of my friends can provide me with this. Some of my other friends might be equally smart but we couldn't have the same conversational as their interests lie elsewhere. I'm willing to place a girl above me who likely has no chance of offering this value for me? I so likely because a smart intelligent hot girl is probably not gonna be out on a Monday or Tuesday. It's usually these party girls or industry girls (bartenders or waiters) and you get to even slimmer chances with those girls.
There are so many places I have yet to see, but I've been to many amazing places on Earth. I enjoy talking about travel and hearing about people's experiences in other countries, especially in ones I have yet to visit. This girl tonight has no desire to travel and has never been anywhere and I'm wiling to play such a hot girl on a pedestal just because she's hot? WTF?
I could go on, but I think I made the point.
Having sex, even with a hot girl isn't gonna fix me:
When you haven't sex for awhile, you can get really needy. I know that I started to really need sex because I felt like such a loser because I wasn't getting laid. When I was going out a lot and not having any sex, I started to tell myself, "Wow, if I could just get laid, I'd have better results." Then, I started banging that FB again. I had wished for her to return during that dry stretch. That felt better, but then I said I needed some new and hotter pussy.
I think I've finally stopped thinking that after Saturday. I realized that I had a good time. I had a high from having sex with a new girl and especially because it was an SNL. SNL just seemed to mystical years ago and I haven't had enough of them that I feel extra special about them. When I've gotten laid after a Day2 or 3, it just hasn't felt that same of a high as getting it the same night that I met the girl. I realized afterward that I didn't get fixed from sex.
I realized that I wouldn't get fixed with sex from a hot girl. If I banged this chick tonight, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it. If I banged a 6 foot tall redhead, it woudl be amazing, but I would be the same person. I could make new excuses on why I need something else to fix me or make me game better. Only time can improve my game, though, and only I can decide if I'm going to believe in myself or feel like I'm all together. Only I can decide if girls are gonna have power over me by virtue of just having a pussy.
Sex is fun and is a great experience and definitely adds to my enjoyment of life. The thing is that when you go out the next night, you still have to open sets and do everything all over again. You still have to work your phone numbers. Things don't suddenly just start working because you banged a girl.
There is a point where you have an abundance of hot girls, I suppose. A point where things really do get easier. I realize that I can accelerate that process by starting with a fix to my inner game issue of entitlement with hot girls. Tonight was a big step and this super long post has helped internalize the proper mindset.
At the end of the night, Nintendo must have wanted to open this brunette sitting on the stairs outside of the club while we were waiting for AndyDufresne. I realized it later when I told him that he should of opened the girl instead of pointing it out to me. I reminded him that the times I'm pointing out sets is when I want to open them but want him to do the work for me for whatever reason: state control, approach anxiety, etc. I opened with the dumb Green Hornet opener, "Hey, I have a question. We thinking about going out for Halloween as as super hero duo. Can he pull off a Latino Green Hornet?" She said that he could do it. I replied that I'm going to be Kato. Then I just said, "I'm just playing around. I wanted to meet you. I'm Teddy."
She told me early on that she had lost her credit card and was trying to decide how to get home. Later on, I started to wonder if that had even been true. My response was, "Well, that sucks. Just call the credit card and cancel it. Problem solved!"
The only cool thing about her was she spoke her mind and she supposedly enjoys equestrian. Other than that, she had a lot of qualities that I often use as examples of girls I don't like. She told me at one point that for fun she like to "party a lot and do drugs." Lol, that's a big negative. I'd fuck her but she'd never be an LTR. She also was one of those girls who has never left the Chicago area and is afraid to fly. When girls tell me they like travel, I usually follow with, "That's cool. I'm glad you're not one of those people who has never left that state, and more importantly has no desire to travel. Like, seriously? You've never saw a movie or read about a place that you'd really like to visit and see with your own eyes?!"
While Nintendo was an awesome wing on Saturday, he apologized later when I called him out what he did. He and AndyDufresne were standing outside and Nintendo wanted to get home so he came into the set. I know he did it because he wanted to get some rest but I also said later, "You know that I never approach you when you're one-on-one with a girl." I can't be too mad as I wouldn't have gotten laid Saturday if he hadn't helped me out. Besides that I knew he wanted to get home, there are so many girls out there that you should never get butt hurt about one girl, and this girl wasn't quality: she was just hot.
These are the girls that we idolize in the club and are afraid to approach?!
As I was about to drop the wings off, I told them that I came to the realization above. I told them that this was the same realization I had when we met that blonde at the Willow set's apartment. This girl just happened to be way hotter but both girls might be girls we'd be afraid to approach at the club.
Girls only have power over me if I let them. It's a choice.
I thought about how I'm like Neo in the Matrix when guys or girls that I don't know talk shit to me. The only ones who can mess up my frame are guys that actually know me, and even if what they said hurt, I'd get over it after thinking it over for awhile. Random people can't make anything stick on me because I really don't give a fuck what they think about me (Tim's lesson from Transformations and Flawless Natural.) First of all, they don't know the real me, they are just basing it on some short impression they have of me. Second of all, I just don't care what they think because they are nobodies to me. Third, I don't even let friends or even my dear mother determine my path in life. I do things my way and I set my own goals on what I want in life. People who know about my life know this is true.
When strangers talk shit, all those insults or whatever are like bullets flying at me, and like in the Matrix, they just stop and don't hurt me.
I realized again today that it's the same when it comes to hot girls. If I have anxiety about approaching them, it's because I let myself think like that. I let myself doubt if I am enough. RSD Alex says to tell yourself, "There is no reason I'm not enough." Nowadays, I'll usually open most girls. The only time I might not open is if I'm in a really low state, and that's rare lately. Still, sometimes the hot girls can mess with me later on in the set. I'm dumb to allow myself to even indulge in that line of thnking.
We give her a ride and learn she's a massive liar and a value taker:
The girl asked me for a ride home when we said we were leaving. One of the wings said we could give her a ride as I was driving. I really didn't care and almost didn't give her a ride but I found out it wasn't far away and I might as well interact with a hot girl for a bit just for fun. We got to my car and she tried to give me shit about the car, "What is this, like a $2000 car?" Many guys would try to qualify themselves. Again, I don't even care that I have a crappy car. I had a sports car when I was an AFC and I know that my car doesn't mean anything. I wouldn't want a girl that would date me just because I had a cool car anyway. On top of that, she was the broke one asking me for a ride because she's too cheap to get a taxi (Nintendo pointed that she likely didn't want to take a taxi for that reason, and that we were fun.) While she was getting into the front seat , I saw the cans I have on the floor and said, "You forgot to add in the few cents I can get for those cans I'm gonna recycle there."
She replies, "I see you really like Mountain Dew."
I replied, "Mountain Dew. Do you really think I would buy actual Mountain Dew. Hell No. That's the Walmart Brand of Mountain Dew."
HB: Is it really?
Me: Yeah.
HB: Is it Diet.
Me: Yeah.
HB: Cool, Can I have one?
Me: You forgot to say the magic word. You learn it in kindergarten.
HB: May I please have one?
Me: Yeah, no problem.
Thus far, she's okay. The shit tests are just natural things girls do to test frame and I'm not bothered by them. I just wrote out these bits of conversation because I was happy with how I was interacting with her. I felt no nervousness around her. Yeah, she was attractive and had nice legs but I wasn't thinking, "Wow this chick was hot." It was my wings who kept raving about how hot she was. Part of the problem was that she's a brunette and I like blondes and redheads. She was one of the better looking girls we encountered tonight, but also, I really have become more comfortable with hot girls. They get no special treatment from me. In fact, lately, I call them out even more because I know they are used to getting what they want.
She was cool in that she was very blunt and spoke her mind. I noticed she was dropping in sexual comments for attention. My two wings were responding to it but I never acknowledged them.
We started noticing the lies as we're driving. First, she said she's supposedly married to some Chicago Blackhawks player. Nintendo called her out for not having a ring and she claimed that she doesn't wear it. Nintendo joked that she must try to use guys for free drinks and doesn't wear it for that reason. Later she refered to a boyfriend and then a fiance. I'd believe that she banged or is banging a hockey player. She's hot enough that I'd believe it but the lies just become more clear the more we drive. She mentioned living at her boyfriend's place and at the end of the night says she has a roommate. The guy is in town and then out of town. She's with her brothers and then not with them.
Do you smoke weed?
We mentioned getting tacos and she jumped on the idea. I was willing to get some food. Here I got to mess with her some more. I mentioned this burrito place in Lincoln Park and she said, "Is there a place with drive through burritos?" I said, "Yeah, there's this place called Taco Bell, but we're not getting that." My wings laughed when I said that.
Nintendo asked if she smoked weed. She said she does indeed and Nintendo said we should smoke and eat tacos. She asked if we have some or if we have to go get some. Nintendo said he has some at home but it's far. She said, "Naw, I have a bowl packed at home." Nintendo said, "Well, here's what we'll do. We'll stop at your place, you'll go get it, we'll smoke and get some tacos." She started making obvious bullshit excuses, "My doorman is a dick. I lost my keys and he'll charge me $75 dollars just to get in." Nintendo called her out for lying and I said, "Yeah. I don't even smoke but quit your bullshit." Then she said , "My boyfriend is there. How am I gonna go in and grab a bag of weed and then say I'm leaving. He's gonna say, 'Who's dick are you gonna go suck?'"
Nintendo said at this point that he was tired and didn't want to get tacos. I wanted to drop her off too. It was obvious she didn't want to share the weed and was just trying to be a mooch. It's funny cause I don't even smoke it and wouldn't but I hate value takers. Nintendo realized she just wanted free weed and I agreed with him wanting to just end the night.
On a side note, Andydufresne tried to give me shit about not smoking weed. He said, "Really, you've never tried weed? Are you telling me that if a hot girl, your dream girl was gonna suck your dick, you wouldn't smoke weed."
I told him that the honest truth is that I would not do it. He tried to call bullshit on that but I said, "If a hot, 6 foot tall redhead was ready to fuck me but she wanted me to smoke weed with her, I would not do it."
I added later, "In 35 years, I've never smoked weed in my life. Do you think that I didn't face peer pressure in high school? My friends did it but I never have. There's not way I'm gonna do it now and especially when I'm running 6 miles a day. I'm not putting anything in my lungs."
That's the truth, although I've acknowledged that there's a chance I'd eat marijuana brownies in Amsterdam. When I was there a few years ago, I realized if Sidegames had come with me, I would have been willing to eat them but not smoke up.
Just because you have a pussy, doesn't mean you have power over me:
I went to brush my teeth and started thinking about that. It's not entirely true. I bought drinks for Promoter girl. I paid for Firework's two taco's on Friday. Those were different situations. Nintendo said part of the reason he didn't want to go get food was because he sensed she was gonna try to get us to pay for the food. He sensed she was the type that gives a lot of fake IOI's to get stuff from guys. I agreed with his assessment, but I said that if we had gone for food, I wouldn't have paid for the food here and would have made her pay. This is the truth. One on one, there was a chance I'd pay for the food, but in this case with two wings with me in just a friendly set like this, I wouldn't pay for her food.
We dropped her off and that was that. During the ride back, we talked about her. Andydufresne and Nintendo said there was a chance that if we had weed we might have all been able to fuck her. I said there was a slight chance but then Nintendo also brought up that she was the type to give fake IOI"s to get stuff. I said that we could have went for burritos but I understood that Nintendo wanted to go home.
Then I said, "If anyone was supposed to waste time trying to see if they could fuck her, it should have been me. Why did you two come into a one-on-one set anyway? You know I'd never do that to you guys. You know that I've never come up to you when you've been one-on-one with a girl." Nintendo apologized. I explained my thoughts on the matter earlier.
I have a choice:
Yes, pussy has had power over me at the past. Sometimes, it's okay to pay like on Saturday. I had already made out with the girl and we were talking about a few tacos and a lay seemed very possible.
Girls should not have power over me at the club. I get afraid to approach sometimes only because the girl is hot. So what? Most of the time, I believe this, but sometimes I do doubt myself. The question is for what, just because at a night club, a hot girl is the pinnacle of social status there.
This girl and the blonde from the willow set made me realize how we're often so wrong about these girls that we place on pedestals and are sometimes afraid to approach at the bar.
I've have a one night stand with this girl. I'd keep her around as a fuck buddy or do minimal stuff to keep her around but she would never have real girlfriend status with me based on what I learned about her tonight. That's the truth right there. I have higher standards for what I want from a girlfriend. Sure, this girl is way hotter than my ex, but my ex's intelligence and personality blow this girl's personality out of the water. Her non physical attributes are about equivalent to some fat ugly girl's physical attributes. I like how she didn't filter herself and was a little feisty but that's it in terms of personality.
My Wings and I in comparison to these girls:
I've always believe in being humble and often I'm so hard on myself that I never acknowledge my good attributes. This girl really got me thinking though. Again, she wasn't even hot enough for me that I was intimidated about approaching her but my two wings kept talking about how hot this girl was for them. That being said, let's just imagine she is the type of girl that is really my type. So what?
I'm getting closer, but I can't say I've fully internalized this belief yet. It will take time but I know tonight was a big step. This girl was attractive and I loved how I wasn't nervous around her and how I easily called her out on her bullshit and wasn't phased at all by her shit tests (i.e. the car comment, my Taco Bell swipe, etc).
Let's get to the point of the title of this section. I'm imagining myself at the club in the future. I see a hot girl that I'm hesitant to approach. When I do that, I'll think about how I'm choosing to give her power over me. I have a choice to make myself impervious to that fact that she's hot. Beyond that, I can hide my emotions: I've done it successfully at poker when money big money for the stakes has been on the line.
I should also think about that Willow blonde. Let's think about this girl. A girl I might be afraid to approach could be the druggy party girl that I rip on to other girls that have qualities I actually like, might be some pathological liar, might be a value taker that easily uses her hotness to get most fools to buy her all kinds of crazy stuff. There are stories in the community of hot girls that have idiot AFC's paying for their cars or apartments while they end up fucking some player on the side.
My wings or I are letting this type of girls have power over us? We really think we aren't worthy of that? Obviously, I'm stereotyping. A girl could be highly intelligent or well traveled in addition to being hot. I can only find that out if I approach her.
We're also forgetting something key. We have a lot of qualities that make us high value guys. We're self actualized guys that are constantly improving ourselves. Let's get off the we. I'm gonna talk about myself so I can ingrain my good qualities in my head. I hate doing this, but I need to remind myself. Let me see, I'm a smart guy and I sometimes like intellectual stimulation. Only several of my friends can provide me with this. Some of my other friends might be equally smart but we couldn't have the same conversational as their interests lie elsewhere. I'm willing to place a girl above me who likely has no chance of offering this value for me? I so likely because a smart intelligent hot girl is probably not gonna be out on a Monday or Tuesday. It's usually these party girls or industry girls (bartenders or waiters) and you get to even slimmer chances with those girls.
There are so many places I have yet to see, but I've been to many amazing places on Earth. I enjoy talking about travel and hearing about people's experiences in other countries, especially in ones I have yet to visit. This girl tonight has no desire to travel and has never been anywhere and I'm wiling to play such a hot girl on a pedestal just because she's hot? WTF?
I could go on, but I think I made the point.
Having sex, even with a hot girl isn't gonna fix me:
When you haven't sex for awhile, you can get really needy. I know that I started to really need sex because I felt like such a loser because I wasn't getting laid. When I was going out a lot and not having any sex, I started to tell myself, "Wow, if I could just get laid, I'd have better results." Then, I started banging that FB again. I had wished for her to return during that dry stretch. That felt better, but then I said I needed some new and hotter pussy.
I think I've finally stopped thinking that after Saturday. I realized that I had a good time. I had a high from having sex with a new girl and especially because it was an SNL. SNL just seemed to mystical years ago and I haven't had enough of them that I feel extra special about them. When I've gotten laid after a Day2 or 3, it just hasn't felt that same of a high as getting it the same night that I met the girl. I realized afterward that I didn't get fixed from sex.
I realized that I wouldn't get fixed with sex from a hot girl. If I banged this chick tonight, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it. If I banged a 6 foot tall redhead, it woudl be amazing, but I would be the same person. I could make new excuses on why I need something else to fix me or make me game better. Only time can improve my game, though, and only I can decide if I'm going to believe in myself or feel like I'm all together. Only I can decide if girls are gonna have power over me by virtue of just having a pussy.
Sex is fun and is a great experience and definitely adds to my enjoyment of life. The thing is that when you go out the next night, you still have to open sets and do everything all over again. You still have to work your phone numbers. Things don't suddenly just start working because you banged a girl.
There is a point where you have an abundance of hot girls, I suppose. A point where things really do get easier. I realize that I can accelerate that process by starting with a fix to my inner game issue of entitlement with hot girls. Tonight was a big step and this super long post has helped internalize the proper mindset.
Sunday: Opening with nonsense
As I was writing Monday's report, I remembered a quick report I was going to make about Sunday night. I forced myself to go out because I didn't want to practice ego protection state control. I've noticed it the last two days: I've had a harder time opening right away like I used to and it's because I've had that SNL. Sometimes you get on fire after success but other times, and maybe even often times, you get ego validation from it and then you get afraid to open. The reason is that you want to remember the great feelings of being a PUA and don't want to have to face the chance of a negative reaction to knock you back into reality. I recognize this and force myself to keep going out and improving. I can remember some Tyler article where the gist was you can either bask in your good feelings and pretend you're a PUA or you can actually go improve and risk bad emotions so you can actually become good and get more girls.
After not opening for awhile Sunday, I just decided to use total garbage openers to pump my state. Let me indulge in some over analysis: this might be a form of ego protection in that you can blame bust outs on the fact that you're not opening for real. You can blame getting busted out on the shitty opener. You can also look at it as just not caring and having fun. I'll say this: I definitely changed my mood and had a lot of fun doing this. Even better, I got to see what I believed already: the opener really doesn't matter at all.
Here are some examples of the really dumb openers I used Sunday:
1) Me: Hi, I'm trying to get out of an ego protection, state control frame.
HB: Huh?
Me: I'm just messing around. What's up, my name is Teddy.
2) Me: (holding a beer at the bar) Hi, I'm Teddy, and I'm an alcoholic.
HB: (Looks at me with a puzzled look. Trying to gauge if I'm serious.)
Me: Yep, there goes ten years of sobriety.
HB: (Facial expression turns into one of shock.)
Me: I'm just kidding.
3) (This turned out to be one of the longer sets we had that nights. Nintendo was in a 2-set and I decided to open this lone wolf who I knew was actually part of some 2-set cause either a guy or girl was coming back to the other drink on the other side of this little table)>
Me: (Nintendo had asked me earlier where the PUA term "set" came from. We couldn't figure it out, although as I'm writing this, I think it has to do with performing comedy.) Hey, I have a question. Where did the term set come from?
HB: Huh?
Me: I have some friends that use that term. See, that's my buddy over there (I point to Nintendo talking to two girls). We have friends that would point out those two girls and say, "Hey, why don't you open that 2-set?" Where did they come up with calling two cute girls a "set?"
HB: I don't know.
4) Me: I'm trying to decide whether I should use the name "NinjaPUA" or "Zippitydragon."
(Before I could get a response, this friend swooped in a pulled the girl away and I didn't stop the friend and try to talk to her.)
5) Me: What's up, I'm Tyler, but you can call me Owen.
HB: Hi, I'm Katie.
Me: Lol. I'm just kidding. My name is Teddy.
It should be obvious that these openers wouldn't work for newbies. I think I decided to do this because of that 2-set on Saturday that wanted to keep talking to us even though we were making a lot of mistakes. These dumb openers work more often than you would think because I'm doing every thing else correctly that I'm supposed to do while opening. Most importantly, I'm giving strong, unwavering eye contact. My body language is good. I'm usually loud enough for them to hear me. I'm relaxed but I'm also smiling (which I usually am) and often I just start giggling after I use these openers. I'm having fun, so by the law of state transference, so is the girl.
I'll also add that I'm also plowing after I use these openers. I don't just stick on the garbage topic I threw out for them in the opener. I either say "I'm just kidding" or I just start talking about something else.
After not opening for awhile Sunday, I just decided to use total garbage openers to pump my state. Let me indulge in some over analysis: this might be a form of ego protection in that you can blame bust outs on the fact that you're not opening for real. You can blame getting busted out on the shitty opener. You can also look at it as just not caring and having fun. I'll say this: I definitely changed my mood and had a lot of fun doing this. Even better, I got to see what I believed already: the opener really doesn't matter at all.
Here are some examples of the really dumb openers I used Sunday:
1) Me: Hi, I'm trying to get out of an ego protection, state control frame.
HB: Huh?
Me: I'm just messing around. What's up, my name is Teddy.
2) Me: (holding a beer at the bar) Hi, I'm Teddy, and I'm an alcoholic.
HB: (Looks at me with a puzzled look. Trying to gauge if I'm serious.)
Me: Yep, there goes ten years of sobriety.
HB: (Facial expression turns into one of shock.)
Me: I'm just kidding.
3) (This turned out to be one of the longer sets we had that nights. Nintendo was in a 2-set and I decided to open this lone wolf who I knew was actually part of some 2-set cause either a guy or girl was coming back to the other drink on the other side of this little table)>
Me: (Nintendo had asked me earlier where the PUA term "set" came from. We couldn't figure it out, although as I'm writing this, I think it has to do with performing comedy.) Hey, I have a question. Where did the term set come from?
HB: Huh?
Me: I have some friends that use that term. See, that's my buddy over there (I point to Nintendo talking to two girls). We have friends that would point out those two girls and say, "Hey, why don't you open that 2-set?" Where did they come up with calling two cute girls a "set?"
HB: I don't know.
4) Me: I'm trying to decide whether I should use the name "NinjaPUA" or "Zippitydragon."
(Before I could get a response, this friend swooped in a pulled the girl away and I didn't stop the friend and try to talk to her.)
5) Me: What's up, I'm Tyler, but you can call me Owen.
HB: Hi, I'm Katie.
Me: Lol. I'm just kidding. My name is Teddy.
It should be obvious that these openers wouldn't work for newbies. I think I decided to do this because of that 2-set on Saturday that wanted to keep talking to us even though we were making a lot of mistakes. These dumb openers work more often than you would think because I'm doing every thing else correctly that I'm supposed to do while opening. Most importantly, I'm giving strong, unwavering eye contact. My body language is good. I'm usually loud enough for them to hear me. I'm relaxed but I'm also smiling (which I usually am) and often I just start giggling after I use these openers. I'm having fun, so by the law of state transference, so is the girl.
I'll also add that I'm also plowing after I use these openers. I don't just stick on the garbage topic I threw out for them in the opener. I either say "I'm just kidding" or I just start talking about something else.
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