Sunday, August 5, 2012

Cold puts life and sarging in perspective

This is an entry on how a summer cold helped me put things back into proper perspective.  I neglected to post an entry about two Fridays ago.  Nintendo and I were at Sound Bar for the free drinks on a Friday.  Early on, he had this girl that he opened that he was trying to give to me.  When he introduced me, I just talked but didn't try to make things happen.  My feeling was that he opened the set and was doing well so why pass it to me.  I know it was because he wanted to help and she wasn't that attractive but I also figured that if she's into him, she'd not necessarily gonna be into me.  He ended up just going for since I passed and later in the week he met up with her and closed the deal.

That night I did okay. Nothing was really happening.  I was opening and hooking a few sets but nothing longer than like 5 minutes.  Suddenly, I saw this seated pale girl and I opened her.  We chatted and then I decided to start dancing.  She was into it but I worried she might not wanna get to crazy since we were the only ones dancing in that area so I moved her to the main dance floor.  At this time, I was also working on making sure to move girls around the club as that had been a sticking point for me.  We grinded a bit there and then I moved her to the couch and ran more rapport game.  I mentioned food and she said it was a good  idea.  We talked some more and then I moved her upstairs and just went for the food extraction right there.

We went to Rock n Roll McDonalds.  We chatted some more and hit some wide rapport.  She's into weird stuff like me like Ancient Aliens and other History channel so that helped.  I tried to get her to let me go over to watch some History channel stuff but she wouldn't go for it.  She had said she had to get up early so she didn't want to hang out this late, plus I hadn't escalated enough for a sexual pull.  I had number closed earlier so when we were done eating, I gave her a hug.  I thought about the kiss but it didn't feel right so I just went for a hug.

These three hot girls happened to be walking by when I did this.  The preselection theory stuff does work as they commented to me as she was walking away.  A girl in that group said, "Oh, did you just make out with her?  Did you just meet her?"  I said, "We just hugged."  The girl replied, "What?  Go over there and grab her and make out with her."

I just smiled and kept walking to meet up with Nintendo.  It did bother me that I didn't go for the kiss that entire time and Nintendo hammered that point to me.  I just didn't feel that on moment, but as I discussed in my lay report from last night, it's a sticking point for me.  I'll go for the kiss when it's obvious but I haven't become comfortable for going for it when things are lukewarm.  I need to do that as going for it and holding state if it's rejected builds attraction anyway.

Browbeating vs learning:
There were good lessons to be learned from that night.  I kept focusing on the negative, though, instead of focusing on the positive.  I did things well with leading.  I lead the conversation and I lead her around the club.  This was big because two Fridays ago, I was having problems being consistent with leading the girl around the club.

I went out the Sunday after and Nintendo and I had a decent night despite there being very few sets.  We almost had this good two set with Polish girls.  We were frustrated that nothing happened but we both realized that we had to focus on the good.  This RSD Ozzie video had been posted around this time about focusing on the good things instead of being too negative.

Hit by a summer cold:
I woke up Monday morning and felt the tingling of a sore throat.  Tuesday and Wednesday I felt like total shit and barely got out of bed.  I did catch up on my History Channel and PBS shows.  I watched a bunch of movies as well.  I didn't start feeling better until Thursday.  Friday, I finally went out.

The cold had done wonders for my frame despite making me feel miserable physically for a few days.  I realized that I had been doing too much browbeating and had not been enjoying the little things in sarging and in life in general.  Being out that Friday, I realized how it's a gift to just be able to be out healthy (well at least recovering on that Friday) on a warm summer evening in Chicago.  I had to remember that the weather would be shitty in just a few months.  I had to remember that more colds will come.   In terms of life, I appreciated just being able to work out.  I was beating myself up over dumb stuff like not progressing faster in my running or not losing weight as fast as I could.

It's the same lesson that I always write about.  I was reminded of being happy with the process.  The cold made me realize I should just be happy to be out sarging and with any progress I make.  I seemed to have forgotten how shitty the nights were in the early days and especially before I discovered "The Game."  I was reminded I'm lucky to be alive.  I'm lucky to be healthy.  I should be happy that I'm near my goal weight and have maintained weight loss for well over a year and have stuck with my fitness program.

Key with the pull:
I wrote in my SNL report about some key points that helped me.  I wrote about how the logistics were possible because of ending up at the taco place by Nintendo's place and Nintendo setting it up so I could wind up smoothly at his place.  I wrote that I lead well for the most part.  I'd say a third element were the lessons I learned from recent screw ups.  On Friday, I neglected to move this girl away from her guy friends. I had been grinding on her for several songs and the make out was close but she got weird because of the guy friends.  Beyond that, I've gotten better at leading in general and forcing myself to be a closer.

Really key though is probably my shift in attitude.  I was more positive the last two days although for some reason I was in a bad state for most of Saturday but at least I pulled through in the end.

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