Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Bad logistics: Stepping up to jealous work chumps

I found myself in another frustrating situation.  There's an element of luck involved with sarging: whether the girls you approach happen to just have chemistry with you is one, and another is the logistics of the set: who they came with, where they live, and so on.  I'd had bad luck in that Saturday and tonight I had two girls into me that just had shit logistics.  Another reason I've found myself in frustrating situations is that I've been willing myself to push my comfort level more than ever before.  You improve by pushing yourself, and as I get into uncharted territory, I often don't know the right move at the time.  Tonight, it took me several hours to solve the situation I found myself in.

2j and I were about to call  it a night.  We had opened everything easy.  Part of me felt we should push the mixed sets and the girls dancing up on the VIP section ledges.  I probably should start forcing myself to hit those sets but I have to admit it's hard to do so when I'm not in massive state.  This Monday venue is especially hard because it's industry people so there are a lot of sets out in big mixed groups, in addition to there being more hots girls that usual.

I saw this girl standing near me so I opened her.  Tonight, I was thinking about Julien's latest video where he talks about adopting the old CEO frame.  I was experimenting with calling girls out for being young and having no direction in life.  The frame was working as girls were qualifying themselves to me more than usual.  At the first venue, I was even letting silences sit that I normally would have just plowed with my usual stories, and I was surprised to see that girls were filling the silence more often than I would have expected.  2j and I even screwed up this good set that gave us huge IOI's.  It was one of our first sets and we just turned and stop talking to them.  Something usual happened in that the girls made sure to tell us they enjoyed talking to us and were going for a drink.  This was usual because girls won't do that unless that like you because we had already turned away from them.  The girls left before we worked our way through the other sets and we didn't approach them again sooner for some reason.

Anyway, I opened this girl and though she wasn't that hot, she was cute, and she had a lot of the values that I look for in girls.  She qualified herself with her job title which indicated she pushes herself at work.  She loved travel like I do and she shared several interesting adventures she had.  The set was so on.  I was thinking about isolating her to the dance floor and just as that though appeared, she suggested we dance.  On the dance floor, she was a little hesitant to get physical, but then she started to get into it.  I started pressing my leg on her crotch in that stimulating way that works so often.   I then started to kiss her neck.

Guy in a suit:
At one point, I could see her making eye contact with someone.  I figured she knew that person, but I tried to turn her away so she'd focus back on me.  It turned out to be this guy in a suit.  He grabbed her and started dancing with her.  I knew this chick was into me, so I started to get into that motivated zone that I've found myself in several times in the past, even back when my game was far inferior to its current state.  When I get determined, I do things that seem Matrix like; I remember this guy grinding with this girl that wanted me at Cadillac Ranch like 3-4 years ago and how I just came in and pulled her off him.  I grabbed my girl and twisted her away from this guy.

He came back again, and I decided I was gonna start grinding up on him because that's a good move I learned from the community.  A lot of guys get uncomfortable with that stuff so it's a good way to bust them out.  Before I could do this, this fat guy grabbed her.

Now I'm motivated:
I walked away and checked my phone.  2j had said he had gone home.  One criticism that I have for him is that he doesn't push himself hard enough sometimes.  When my wing hooks a set, often I get more movitated to make something happen for me.  Saturday and tonight, he just used it as a reason to leave since I had a set hooked and he had already been talking about going home.  I text him about the BS situation.  I started dancing in place and then I tried dancing with this tall girls on the dance floor.  I noticed that this cockblock bullshit made me want to game even harder.  I decided I was gonna go back in.

I danced by the dance floor and then I spotted her dancing near the two dudes.  I went in, grabbed her hands.  I danced with her for a few seconds, spun her, and then dragged her off the dance floor.  I positioned myself behind this pillar so we wouldn't be in view of the guys.

Dumb  fat jealous chode:
I got her away and then this fat fuck suddenly comes up and puts his arm around her.  He says, "This is my girl" and puts his other hand right in front of my face."  Before I can talk shit, he drags her off.  Now, I'm really motivated.  That was some bullshit and I suspected he wasn't really with her.  I thought of what Mystery said in one of the first PUA videos I watched from him.  Mystery said, "If a guy wants to be a dick, then I'm gonna steal his girl."  

I had to dance a bit by myself to get into the right mind frame.  Part of me didn't want to deal with this set, but I knew she was into me, and I had a strong feeling that the guy was full of shit too.  In the past, I might have worried about dealing with the guy, but I decided I was confident I could handle any situation I put myself in here.  It's not like he was some crazy gangbanger.   He was this fat chodey looking guy.  I told myself that if the guys pushed me, I decided I was gonna say, "Please don't hurt me" and then blitz attack him.  Driving home later, I thought that the smartest thing to do would be if the guy threatened me or confronted me, I should just go to the bouncer and give my death stare right into the bouncers eyes and say, "Look, this guy is threatening me.  I'd rather not deal with getting in a fight her but I will defend myself.  I just want you to know in case anything happens that I didn't start this."  

Isolation move:
I had to take a piss and as luck would have it, I spotted her going to the bathroom.  I thought about catching up to her, but I did have to pee so I went in the men's room.  The bathrooms are downstairs in this club and you walk by the hallway near the entrance to get back to the main club area.  I waited in a spot at the edge of the club area where she'd have to walk by me.  I just danced by myself to keep myself in state.  

Soon, I saw here walking from the stairs.  I grabbed her hands and say, "Hey you."  Then I lead her to the front hallway.  Now I had isolation as there was only the bouncer watching the entrance and people walking into the club in this area.  I asked, "What's up with your creepy friends?"  She replied, "Yeah, I know.  That's why I walked away last time.  They are just guys from work."

I got her phone number and we chatted some more.  I went for a kiss somewhat awkwardly and she wasn't into it.  She didn't pull back but didn't go for the kiss really.  She just said, "I just met you."  I didn't let it bother me and kept talking.  There was a moment a few minutes later that I probably should have went for it again because she was giving me the glazed eye, DDB, look.  I didn't take it and then suddenly that original guy in the suit appeared.

Yep, those idiots had sent out that guy to look for her.  She tells me, "This is John (or whatever his name is). It's his birthday."  I told him, "Happy Birthday."  This guy was still trying to somewhat be a cock.  He grabbed one of her hands and said, "Are you okay?  Tell me if you aren't."  I just stood there.  She then nodded and said she was fine.  The guy then walked away but he stood at the end of the hallway like a stupid chaperon and that made me uncomfortable.  I knew this wasn't a good situation because since it was work people, she wouldn't want to look like a slut in front of them.  I tried telling her to come with for tacos and she said she had to stay till close.  I said I understood her work deal.  She said I should bring tacos back as she wanted some.  I knew it was unlikely to work but I decided to just leave.  I ended up going for tacos by myself.

I ordered some to go in case she responded but no luck, as I expected.  It ended up being good for me because since I ate more than I planned, I decided to get back into lifting.  I hadn't lifted for two weeks because of the summer cold.  I could have probably lifted a few days ago but I got lazy with lifting.  Running, I really like, so it's easy to get into.  Lifting feels good after I lift, but it's hard for me to get back into it when I'm forced to be on a break.  Had I not gone for tacos, I might have blown off lifting for a few days.

What I should have done:
I talked with Nintendo and he said the taco move was a dumb idea.  I told him that I knew it probably was but the logistics were shit and I didn't know what to do at the time, so I just took that way out.  I told him I was frustrated being in a new situation, but as I said above, I realize that it's a result of pushing myself hard so I should be happy with myself.  He pointed out that there isn't always a solution to the logistics.  I stayed positive and added that these tough experiences pay off in the future when I end up making a better move from the hard lessons I learned.

After thinking for a few hours, I think I know what I would have done differently in this situation.  First, when the suit guy found us by the entrance, I wouldn't have stayed silent and let her tell him she was fine.  I would have used breaking rapport and Nintendo's line from a few weeks ago, "Hey.  She's a grown woman . If she didn't want to be here, she could walk away at anytime.  She doesn't need your help."  Next, and probably even preempting the above, I should have told her when I isolated her, "Just tell these guys we went to college together."  That would have been using the old conspiracy tactic or "us against them" tactic.  It would have worked to handle the work group as she wouldn't look like a slut since they'd think she knew me from college.  It would have build more attraction because it was our little secret.

Had I thought of the "college friends" tactic at the time, I could have stayed in the set and possibly pulled.  She had said that she wasn't driving home.  I forgot to mention that they had been entertaining some clients earlier and the job had paid for hotels downtown for tonight.

Don't browbeat yourself:
That's been a lesson I needed to repeat to myself the last two days.  For awhile, I was stuck making mistakes because of ego protection or because I wasn't being a closer.  It's easy to know where I went wrong in those sets.  Lately, I've been in new situations where I don't have the calibration and it's been tough.  I need to emphasize that this is a great thing.  It means I'm pushing my comfort zone and that's how you learn best.  The tougher the situations you deal with, the faster you grow as well: that's a theme Ozzie talks about in his book and he has said that's why he uses "Fear Technology," as he calls it, on his boot camps.

Let me just close on something that I realized when I was coming back from the gym.  I can really feel that my game has improved a lot in the past few weeks.  It seems like every night there's at least one set that's really into me.  That would happen in the past but I'd just take a number or maybe get a kiss, but now I'm really trying to close.  I'm confident I'll have another SNL soon when I finally get the fortune of having a girl who I have strong chemistry with and who has easy logistics.  

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