Sunday, August 12, 2012

Venue changed a redhead but couldn't pull

As I was driving home, I felt frustrated.  At the same time, I felt like I really had given my best effort.  I always say that I should be happy with putting my best game out there.  I think about the sports analogy of playing your heart out and again, I did that.  I couldn't help but feel frustrated that my best game just wasn't enough today.  I know that these experiences will help in the future and I should just be happy that I have fun and have new experiences.

I almost didn't go out Saturday night.  I was in a really bad mood and felt a bit depressed.  It was like 8:30pm and I knew that if I didn't text 2j, it was likely he would choose to just blow of the night.  I started doing this honorable kill farming in World of Warcraft and was content with staying in, though part of me felt I should sarge.  2j later said that he knew too that since I hadn't text him, I was content with blowing the night off.  He decided to text me and I forced myself to go out.  I told myself this was free night: I wasn't even going to go out so I might as well try my hardest.  I remember telling myself during the drive that I should be happy if anything at all interesting happens because it will be better than a night of just staying in playing World of Warcraft.

I opened quickly when I met up with 2j.  I'm happy with how I can usually talk myself into state during the car ride in.  Prior to going out, I'd say this was the lowest I've felt in several weeks, or even several months, so I'm happy I opened so quickly and turned my night around.

Redhead in Mixed set at end of the night:
We decided to go into this bar that usually is shitty and then we were gonna go back to our usual spot.  We knew he had a half hour before the bars close.  As I walked in, I saw my perfect type of girl: I cute redhead. She was seated by the bar and that was the only set in the bar.  I took a piss and then came back to 2j.  I still don't like mixed sets.  I saw three girls and two guys.  My redhead wasn't talking to anyone.  I made myself approach because I wanted this girl.  I also knew that I'd regret not opening later and I hate having that regret.

It opened smoothly and this girl was into me enough that 2j text me that he was going home as things looked on for me.  As we talked, I learned she had some of the qualities I look for in girls: she works out and doesn't smoke, she loves travel, she gets excited about food, and she's smart.

I remembered to ask logistics as I often forget to do that.  2j had suggested Friday that once I feel a girl is hooked, I should remind myself to start asking logistical questions.  I found out that she lives in DC but grew up in a suburb near O'hare (which is near me).  The girl next to her was her cousin.  The other girl and guy had walked off.  I asked what she was doing afterwards and she said that it was whatever her cousin did.

I had put my arm around her several times and had strong eye contact with her.  That her cousin was there made me not want to go for the kiss and perhaps it was partially my reluctance in general to go for it at times.  I just hate trying to kiss the girl in front of her friends.  I tried to get her to stand up to dance but she was tired.

She later walked off to the bathroom.  I decided to stay as I knew this was on.  Thinking back, I should have followed through on my move to grab her near the bathroom area and use that as a chance to try to escalate.  Instead, I just danced by myself near the cousin.  I also considered trying to talk to the cousin but she seemed into talking to the guy there.

Venue change:
The light turned on.  I got introduced to the cousin.  I mentioned going to after hours.  The cousin mentioned this bar about a half mile down Lincoln.  I said that we should go and I can drive as my car was close.  This is when I learned that my set was really a mixed 4 set.  My redhead was there with 3 cousins.  The three were all siblings.  The cousin next to my redhead inside had just been talking to some random dude.  When I went outside I was introduced to her brother and sister.

I told them I'd drive them all to the after hours.  The guy looked alpha and I thought he was gonna try to mess with me but he ended up being cool and not as alpha as I thought.  I forget that I put out my own vibe when I'm in a decent state so usually people are just cool with me.  Yeah, Wednesday was different but I was in a low state at the end of the night.

My girl had time to lose buying temperature because she and the original cousin went to get cheese fries at this hot dog place across the street.  I was stuck talking to the guy and girl cousins who had been outside the original bar.  I made sure to BS with them a bit; in my head, I figured I'd have a better chance of pulling the redhead if they were all comfortable with me.

Can't escalate and set ended too suddenly:
We finally got inside and I was able to sit next to my girl as we all ate the cheese fries.  My plan was to isolate my girl and try to make out as soon as we were done eating.  After we were done with the fries, the other female cousin went to get beers.  I think I made a mistake here.  My redhead was really into this one song and I should have grabbed her then and try to get her to dance in the other room.  I decided to wait because I knew beers were coming.

The beers came and I fnished my quickly.  The guy started messing with the girls by knocking his beer on top of theirs so the beers would bubble up.  I guess I saw a form of teasing: this was easy for him because it was his relatives.  I'm bad a teasing because I grew up an only child and didn't have family to interact with in this manner.

I started just talking to my girl as I had been silent too long.  She started to get tired again.  I tried several times to get her to dance.  Thinking back, maybe I should have stood up and tried to pull her as Ozzie described.

The cousins that had been outside got up.  I thought they might be getting another drink.  Suddenly the guy returned and shook my hand.  He said, "Hey, it was nice meeting you."  Then the original cousin got up too.  My girl started to get up and I said, "You guys are leaving already?"   She had a hard time standing up from the chair as she had been boxed in by a chair behind.  The original cousin helped her up.  When she stood up, I grabbed her and spun her around.  Then she said she had to go.  I offered to drive her, but she said she was fine.  I then was lame and said, "When are you gonna be back in town?"  She said, "Never."


Never give up?!:
I let the set walk out, and I'll discuss the merits of that in a second.  I figured I was busted out and I was ready to just drive home.  Then, I told myself I might as well try with whatever is left at this bar.  I happened to see this cute redhead next to me so I sarged her.  She kept trying to say, "It was nice meeting you," but I actually plowed like newbies are supposed to do.  I just started a new thread and kept talking.  I finally gave up when I tried to move her to the other room and failed and she wasn't responding well to my attempts at kino.

Next,I grabbed this somewhat cute, but fat brunette.  I tried giving her strong eye contact.  She seemed a bit standoffish.  I kept plowing thinking I'd turn it around but eventually her friend pulled her away and I knew I was busted out.

Now, I'm wondering if I should have followed my set outside.  I suppose I could have offered to drive the original cousin, who lived on the Northwest side, and my redhead home.  Then, I could try to get the redhead to get White Castle and come over.  I don't think the logistics were gonna work like that though as the cousin would be wary of leaving the redhead with me, and plus my redhead had lost buying temperature.

I think I could have seeded offering her a ride home when we got to the second venue.  I could have mentioned the plan and seen if she'd be cool with it.  Also, as she was getting tired, I could have just tried offering a ride then.  She had said she was still hungry after the fries.  I had mentioned White Castle but I never pressed it to make actual plans.  Somehow, I though I had till the bar closed.  In retrospect, I should have tried to pull her by trying to give her a ride home.

Bad logistics:
Yeah, this was an example of bad logistics.    It's good that I'm starting to remember to screen for logistics in every set.  The whole point is to figure out what girls are likely pulls and to avoid girls with shitty logistics like this set.  Also, Julian talks about how you need to solve all her logistical problems for her in order to pull and she'll tell you what obstacles are in the way of you and her ending up alone together.

It's good I stayed in this set, though.  First of all, she was my type.  I was starting to get excited about the prospect of hooking up with her: she was a natural redhead and of course had the pale skin I love.  I like redheads so much that I go for chubby ones too but this one had a decent body.  Second point is that it was the end of the night and I didn't have any other prospects.  Third, I need venue change and pull practice so I might as well stick a set out and try to learn from it if I can't make it happen.  The lessons from failure eventually help out in future pulls.

I should not brow beat myself.  As I said in the intro, I really gave it my best shot.  There might not have been a way to solve the logistical problems in the end.  She was out with family so she probably wasn't gonna want to come home with me in front of them.  I think the ride home with food excuse was my best bet but I didn't get to try it.  I also deserve props for trying to sarge the other 2 girls in the venue after my set left.

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