I had a good night Saturday and the only thing that I might have done better was to try to push one particular set to a pull despite likely bad logistics. I started out solo as I didn't hear from G, and all my RSD guys, including my main wing 2j, were at Hot Seat. I got to Wrigley and found a parking spot right away. I sat in the car for 10 minutes surfing the net on my phone and then I finally decided I wasn't gonna be stupid and sit there. I haven't done any solo gaming in a long time and I know that it would be good to push myself to do some. Besides, trying warm ups solo is way better than just sitting in the car waiting.
The first bar I walked into, I ended up standing around for 10 minutes doing nothing. When I don't take action for that long in a venue, I find it easier to just reboot myself by leaving and going somewhere new. I forced myself to open some sets immediately upon entering the second venue. After talking to two different sets, I found myself feeling good and excited about being out.
Quick kiss close:
In the 4th venue, I passed by this pale girl and just pulled her into me. From the way we maintained eye contact, I could just tell that it was on. Her situation was perfect too: she had just moved to Chicago a few weeks ago to start a new job. She hasn't really seen much of the city and sounded excited as I talked about all these interesting restaurants and other spots. She likes food and travel.
I asked her to sit down, and I could tell she wanted to kiss me. I was exercising what Tyler described in his "Physical Game" video. Instead of immediately going for the kiss, I just held the tension. As he describes in the video, the dynamic was different from times in the past when I knew or suspected the girl wanted to kiss me and I held back because I was afraid to do so. I finally kissed her briefly and of course, she wanted it. I pulled it back right away but we'd kiss 2 more times while talking there. Later, I remember there being a pause in the conversation. It was time to kiss and I just looked into her eyes, and she couldn't take the tension and leaned in to kiss me.
There was a break as I text 2j. He was meeting me but I hadn't responded since I was in the set so he was next door. I told him to come meet me here as my girl had several friends at the venue including this cute Asian girl. There was break here when 2j came and my girl went to talk to some other friends. She was in a big set of several college friends.
2j and I hung out at the venue for awhile. I kept asking him whether the move was to try to pull her or to just continue the night. It seemed like a solid Day 2 possibility. Ultimately, I decided to not push for the pull. The reasons that the pull seemed difficult are: she was in a big group of friends and they were all around 21-22 (these younger sets are less likely to let their friends be pulled, unlike late 20's+ girls who will often just let it happen). I would add that I threw out some feelers about grabbing food or hanging out after. She said she wasn't hungry and she said we could hang out again on another day. While those two responses were normal, they also indicated that this wasn't a situation where the girl was gonna make it super easy to be pulled.
On the other hand, part of me knows I need pulling practice. What stuck in my head too is that I went to the dance floor to tell her I was going to check out this other club. She must have thought I asked her to go to Barleycorn as she paused for a second to think about it and then said she should probably stay here with her friends. That pause means that I probably could have moved her around that bar, made out with, and then pushed her to go to the other club. If I got the veneu change and hung out with her till close, I might have gotten the pull to her place.
I settled for taking using the phone number (which I took shortly after I first kissed her) and trying to set up a Day 2.
Solid number close:
We were walking around the huge dance floor at the other venue. I had several sets that I just massively hooked. This one girl, I just walked by and pulled into me. It's amazing how when I'm in state (heck, I'd even say, this happens when I'm just not in a shitty state), I can just go up to girls at will and get strongly positive reactions. I'll pull the girl in and the eye contact will be strong and I can tell that at that initial opening, she wants me. Of course, it's easy to lose that feeling by doing something low value or other stuff happening. Still, it's something that I only began to experience regularly as my game really started improving at the end of summer.
I ended up number closing this one girl. I had asked her logistical questions. She was with a girl and a gay friend and she said they were going to Berlin (this gay club near by). I took her number because we had interesting conversation. She's interested in travel and international events. I text her and she's been responding more enthusiastically than the girl I actually kissed that night. Strange how that works.
No after hours:
As I mentioned, I had some other strong sets while I was out but nothing really materialized from them. I had definitely built momentum from the awesome Free Tour speech and from going out since Wednesday. 2j hates doing after hours nowadays. I could have gone out solo, but I was tired from having run 10 miles Saturday and from going out Wed-Sat so I was happy to call it a night. Besides, I had a good evening already.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
The Return of G and Inspiration
The Free Tour definitely motivated G. He came out to the Chicago Art District event late but he started strong. He had text me but I didn't notice the text and by the time we ran into him, he had already opened. I had to wait an hour until I opened. I'm always in beast mode at the bar or club but I still have a hard time in day game situations. After we met up with G, I saw him open and it made me want to open more.
I'll also add that G and I talked about committing to running the marathon next year. I plan on doing a holding pattern with my runs through winter. I've build up to where I'm running 5 milesx3 days a week and doing a long run. My long run has been at 8 miles but I decided to kick it up to 10 miles today. I still have to figure out how much indoor running I can handle. If I just run at least 20 miles a week during winter, though, I'll be in good shape to ramp up my training in Spring.
At the club, I got into two longer sets with 2j. Unfortunately, his roommate had decided to come out. The guy is okay, but he's a drag to 2j when we're out sarging. When it's just 2j and I, or if the extra people are community guys or naturals, 2j is usually in state and ready to hit sets hard. When his roommate comes out, he used it as an excuse to dick around doing nothing. Ideally, I should just run off and do my own things but there is a specific instance when I get annoyed. I told G and 2j I was opening this nearby set and I'd need a wing. I was in the set for awhile and nobody came. I ran over and grabbed 2j and bitched at him for dicking around. He came and winged and we had a long set.
I had this other long set that I maybe should have stayed in a bit longer. I had this short girl hooked. Vinny had come in to wing me but he disappeared a few minutes into the set and I could tell the friend was getting bored. I pulled 2j in and he talked but then just stood there. He tried and I know sometimes you just don't click with a girl. When that happens to me when I'm wining, I'll just steamroll them with stories or other material.
There were a few other sets I hooked really strongly at the beginning but to no avail.
Later, I did some quick street game near Division. I had some brutal bust outs as I really wasn't in state but was forcing myself to do the approaches. 2j tried to advice me on how to claw moving sets properly. I told him that the problem wasn't that I didn't know how to do it, the problem was that I really didn't want to open, but at the last second, I'd force myself and that's why I was doing it wrong.
Anyway, I can tell my game as built momentum from Wednesday-Friday, and I'm pushing myself harder after being inspired by the free tour. Tonight, I'm gonna try sober sarging and I'm going to continue to both push hard and try to enjoy myself.
I'll also add that G and I talked about committing to running the marathon next year. I plan on doing a holding pattern with my runs through winter. I've build up to where I'm running 5 milesx3 days a week and doing a long run. My long run has been at 8 miles but I decided to kick it up to 10 miles today. I still have to figure out how much indoor running I can handle. If I just run at least 20 miles a week during winter, though, I'll be in good shape to ramp up my training in Spring.
At the club, I got into two longer sets with 2j. Unfortunately, his roommate had decided to come out. The guy is okay, but he's a drag to 2j when we're out sarging. When it's just 2j and I, or if the extra people are community guys or naturals, 2j is usually in state and ready to hit sets hard. When his roommate comes out, he used it as an excuse to dick around doing nothing. Ideally, I should just run off and do my own things but there is a specific instance when I get annoyed. I told G and 2j I was opening this nearby set and I'd need a wing. I was in the set for awhile and nobody came. I ran over and grabbed 2j and bitched at him for dicking around. He came and winged and we had a long set.
I had this other long set that I maybe should have stayed in a bit longer. I had this short girl hooked. Vinny had come in to wing me but he disappeared a few minutes into the set and I could tell the friend was getting bored. I pulled 2j in and he talked but then just stood there. He tried and I know sometimes you just don't click with a girl. When that happens to me when I'm wining, I'll just steamroll them with stories or other material.
There were a few other sets I hooked really strongly at the beginning but to no avail.
Later, I did some quick street game near Division. I had some brutal bust outs as I really wasn't in state but was forcing myself to do the approaches. 2j tried to advice me on how to claw moving sets properly. I told him that the problem wasn't that I didn't know how to do it, the problem was that I really didn't want to open, but at the last second, I'd force myself and that's why I was doing it wrong.
Anyway, I can tell my game as built momentum from Wednesday-Friday, and I'm pushing myself harder after being inspired by the free tour. Tonight, I'm gonna try sober sarging and I'm going to continue to both push hard and try to enjoy myself.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Jeffy Free Tour Brings Out the Beast mode in me
2j and I went to the RSD free tour last night. I told several people about it and it was good to see some of them there. The event has massive value including what Tyler has called a "burst of in field video." I'm sure that was really valuable to G and Raw who aren't as familiar with the current RSD stuff. I had seen two of the videos before but there were several new ones. The talk was entertaining and humorous and inspirational as well. While I know most of the concepts already, hearing them again just made them resonate in my head better. I found myself nodding as I recognized how he describe some of the success barriers we have to tear down to improve and also nodding in a knowing way to some of the concepts as I know they've helped me get better results.
I felt inspired to really push myself to improve. I'm almost always in beast mode (meaning approaching without hesitation) at the club, but I've created an artificial barrier in my head when it comes to day game type situations. When we went out last night, I found I was pushing myself even harder. I even opened a set while we were waiting for the train to come to go to after hours.
Train Station shit test:
When we got up to the Fullerton platform, I saw four girls sitting around. While I normally would have wanted to open them and then said nothing, I opened them immediately. The leader girl started shit testing me right off the bat. Ironically, she tried messing with me in the one way that has never been able to stick on me, even back when I had low self esteem. I'm so grounded and chill now that even if she had tried to tool me on something that I might have had issues with more recently, it wouldn't have stuck. To use a Matrix analogy, what she did might be like some newbie trying to punch Neo. Neo could block the punch even back when he first sparring with Morpheus. That girl shit testing me would be like some newbie trying to punch the Neo from the end of the movie that realizes he's the one. She trying to punch the Neo who can block bullets and kill agents.
She basically tried to tell me I was stupid. She said something like, "You know, we're all smart girls. We're engineers."
I think I gave some generic response like, "You gain points for that." That's actually the truth though: I want a girl that's intelligent.
I forgot her exact words after this, but her tone of voice and her words basically were trying to put me in the frame of, "We're smart girls. You're stupid and not being even close to our level."
Again, this never would have stuck even back when I was a total chode. Yeah, if a professor or TA said that, it would have affected me I'm sure, but no random girl is gonna make that stick because the one strength I've always had in my book smarts.
My response to the further shit tests was I just busted out laughing. I just felt it was so ridiculous. I guess the difference between the old me and the new me is that the old me would have tried to qualify myself verbally.
Holding back from staying in set:
I was opening great at times. I remember opening this redhead 2-set and then the patting the seat next to her for me to sit down after about two sentences. I screwed this set up by getting frustrated that I had two wings nearby that weren't coming in. I knew afterward that I was being dumb and using that as an excuse. 2j and Trojan- had opened a set, but I couldn't see that. I thought they were just BSing with each other like they sometimes do instead of coming in. I didn't need their help. I wanted it because it makes things easier but I know how to run a 2-set. I should have just kept talking to the set. I sent one text to 2j which was fine. Where I lost the set is that I paused the conversation again and went to text Trojan- and their buying temp dropped enough to lose them.
The other problem we had early on was just bad luck with the girls 2j and I were clicking. I remember two different 2-sets where I had the one girl massively hooked but I could hear 2j's girl didn't like him. I remember at Kendall's I started to hear this girl starting to say, "This is girls night out. I'm trying to just talk to my friend." What I should have done was number close right there, or grabbed the friends attention and plowed her with material to stabilize the set. Instead, I just kept talking to my girl knowing that the friend was about to pull her away.
I can't blame 2j. That sometimes is just the way it is: not all girls are gonna like you or your wing(s). I went into a 3-set that 2j and Trojan- were working later on. I had the 3rd girl hooked but then I got busted out. I think that was the set where I brought up my cats and she hated cats, yet I kept talking about them. As I wing, I should have just changed the subject and just tried to talk friend-to-friend to hold her attention. Instead, I was in my normal set mode. Sometimes, I'll just keep talking about the cat because I love my cats and if she hates cat it turns me off anyway and I don't mind if the set ends. Another time, 2j and I were working a 2-set, and my girl just blew me out. Again, it happens.
Plan for tonight:
We're going to the art event and G seems like he's gonna come with which is great. I want to be in beast mode there. I usually make an approach or two at the art thing, but in beast mode, I should approach every set that I find attractive. We failed to take action with several hot girls last month. When we get to the club, I want to do more dance floor game. I also am gonna work on stopping moving sets properly. I was trying a lot of clawing moving girls last night and I realized as I was going to bed today that I was looking at their arms instead of locking and holding eye contact. I'm certain I just corrected what was screwed up with my moving set game.
More importantly, I'm going to work on staying in set while escalating and leading. Often I get too addicted to just opening and having fun when I should be working on the most efficient way to SNL or create a solid phone number set. I need to open well, figure out her logistics to see if pulling is possible, and if it is, I have to move her around the club and escalate and then try to pull.
I felt inspired to really push myself to improve. I'm almost always in beast mode (meaning approaching without hesitation) at the club, but I've created an artificial barrier in my head when it comes to day game type situations. When we went out last night, I found I was pushing myself even harder. I even opened a set while we were waiting for the train to come to go to after hours.
Train Station shit test:
When we got up to the Fullerton platform, I saw four girls sitting around. While I normally would have wanted to open them and then said nothing, I opened them immediately. The leader girl started shit testing me right off the bat. Ironically, she tried messing with me in the one way that has never been able to stick on me, even back when I had low self esteem. I'm so grounded and chill now that even if she had tried to tool me on something that I might have had issues with more recently, it wouldn't have stuck. To use a Matrix analogy, what she did might be like some newbie trying to punch Neo. Neo could block the punch even back when he first sparring with Morpheus. That girl shit testing me would be like some newbie trying to punch the Neo from the end of the movie that realizes he's the one. She trying to punch the Neo who can block bullets and kill agents.
She basically tried to tell me I was stupid. She said something like, "You know, we're all smart girls. We're engineers."
I think I gave some generic response like, "You gain points for that." That's actually the truth though: I want a girl that's intelligent.
I forgot her exact words after this, but her tone of voice and her words basically were trying to put me in the frame of, "We're smart girls. You're stupid and not being even close to our level."
Again, this never would have stuck even back when I was a total chode. Yeah, if a professor or TA said that, it would have affected me I'm sure, but no random girl is gonna make that stick because the one strength I've always had in my book smarts.
My response to the further shit tests was I just busted out laughing. I just felt it was so ridiculous. I guess the difference between the old me and the new me is that the old me would have tried to qualify myself verbally.
Holding back from staying in set:
I was opening great at times. I remember opening this redhead 2-set and then the patting the seat next to her for me to sit down after about two sentences. I screwed this set up by getting frustrated that I had two wings nearby that weren't coming in. I knew afterward that I was being dumb and using that as an excuse. 2j and Trojan- had opened a set, but I couldn't see that. I thought they were just BSing with each other like they sometimes do instead of coming in. I didn't need their help. I wanted it because it makes things easier but I know how to run a 2-set. I should have just kept talking to the set. I sent one text to 2j which was fine. Where I lost the set is that I paused the conversation again and went to text Trojan- and their buying temp dropped enough to lose them.
The other problem we had early on was just bad luck with the girls 2j and I were clicking. I remember two different 2-sets where I had the one girl massively hooked but I could hear 2j's girl didn't like him. I remember at Kendall's I started to hear this girl starting to say, "This is girls night out. I'm trying to just talk to my friend." What I should have done was number close right there, or grabbed the friends attention and plowed her with material to stabilize the set. Instead, I just kept talking to my girl knowing that the friend was about to pull her away.
I can't blame 2j. That sometimes is just the way it is: not all girls are gonna like you or your wing(s). I went into a 3-set that 2j and Trojan- were working later on. I had the 3rd girl hooked but then I got busted out. I think that was the set where I brought up my cats and she hated cats, yet I kept talking about them. As I wing, I should have just changed the subject and just tried to talk friend-to-friend to hold her attention. Instead, I was in my normal set mode. Sometimes, I'll just keep talking about the cat because I love my cats and if she hates cat it turns me off anyway and I don't mind if the set ends. Another time, 2j and I were working a 2-set, and my girl just blew me out. Again, it happens.
Plan for tonight:
We're going to the art event and G seems like he's gonna come with which is great. I want to be in beast mode there. I usually make an approach or two at the art thing, but in beast mode, I should approach every set that I find attractive. We failed to take action with several hot girls last month. When we get to the club, I want to do more dance floor game. I also am gonna work on stopping moving sets properly. I was trying a lot of clawing moving girls last night and I realized as I was going to bed today that I was looking at their arms instead of locking and holding eye contact. I'm certain I just corrected what was screwed up with my moving set game.
More importantly, I'm going to work on staying in set while escalating and leading. Often I get too addicted to just opening and having fun when I should be working on the most efficient way to SNL or create a solid phone number set. I need to open well, figure out her logistics to see if pulling is possible, and if it is, I have to move her around the club and escalate and then try to pull.
I know you, from the lair...
There are two PUA lairs in the Chicago area. I should actually join one as both groups organize free PUA talks throughout the year. While I'm sure the talks are not as polished as the RSD free tour, I'm equally sure that they have inspirational value. That being said, I probably have avoided joining because Herschey used to invite these guys he met through the lair. The guys he invited out were all guys that stood around and did nothing. 2j says that many of the lair guys are creepy. Of course, there are cool guys in the lair as well. Occasionally, with Herschey in the past, we've run into some of the guys randomly and I've met 2-3 really cool guys.
Yesterday, I had a reminder experience about the creep factor of lair guys. 2j and I were out sarging in Lincoln Park. 2j said there was a lair event out, and of course so were a bunch of people from the RSD free tour, and we actually saw the Tyler boot camp out as well. I opened this 2-set on the dance floor using pure dance floor moves. The one girl seemed into me, but the other girl busted me out. Some dude saw me and he stopped me as I walked by.
Guy: (Some gibberish I couldn't hear.)
Me: Huh?
Guy: I know you.
Me: ?
Guy: I know you from lair.
Me: I was at the RSD free tour.
Guy: No the lair.
Me: (2j was next to me so I figured this guy might have recognized 2j). I'm not in the lair, but he is. This is 2j.
2j talked to him for a few seconds. 2j immediately told me how weird and creepy the guy was. He said he didn't know him and also that the guy said he wanted to watch follow us and watch us sarge.
On the one hand, I sympathize with chodes/AFC's as I was a massive one myself. I always truthfully say that I often started at a level well below many of these awkward newbies that I know or have met. This was just a reminder of why I've been avoiding the lair. I know the guy just wanted to find wings or improve his game, but as this point I'm not gonna waste my time. I have great wings already and I don't feel the desire to train up someone unless I think they are cool or offer some sort of value. This guy just felt like a value sucking leech.
The solution, of course, is that I should just join the lair and go with 2j to the events and just blow off all the creepers.
Tyler actually made a good free tour post about lairs. Below is his video "Tyler Dishes Dirt on PUA Lairs." He explains what a newbie should do if he wants to meet the best people in the lairs.
Yesterday, I had a reminder experience about the creep factor of lair guys. 2j and I were out sarging in Lincoln Park. 2j said there was a lair event out, and of course so were a bunch of people from the RSD free tour, and we actually saw the Tyler boot camp out as well. I opened this 2-set on the dance floor using pure dance floor moves. The one girl seemed into me, but the other girl busted me out. Some dude saw me and he stopped me as I walked by.
Guy: (Some gibberish I couldn't hear.)
Me: Huh?
Guy: I know you.
Me: ?
Guy: I know you from lair.
Me: I was at the RSD free tour.
Guy: No the lair.
Me: (2j was next to me so I figured this guy might have recognized 2j). I'm not in the lair, but he is. This is 2j.
2j talked to him for a few seconds. 2j immediately told me how weird and creepy the guy was. He said he didn't know him and also that the guy said he wanted to watch follow us and watch us sarge.
On the one hand, I sympathize with chodes/AFC's as I was a massive one myself. I always truthfully say that I often started at a level well below many of these awkward newbies that I know or have met. This was just a reminder of why I've been avoiding the lair. I know the guy just wanted to find wings or improve his game, but as this point I'm not gonna waste my time. I have great wings already and I don't feel the desire to train up someone unless I think they are cool or offer some sort of value. This guy just felt like a value sucking leech.
The solution, of course, is that I should just join the lair and go with 2j to the events and just blow off all the creepers.
Tyler actually made a good free tour post about lairs. Below is his video "Tyler Dishes Dirt on PUA Lairs." He explains what a newbie should do if he wants to meet the best people in the lairs.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Positivity is back despite blowouts on hard mode
We dropped off Jeffy, and then 2j, Jeffy's assistant (I forgot his screen name), and I went out to Crescendo and Spy Bar. I paid the price for not having gone out since Saturday. I didn't feel any approach anxiety and I opened the first set that we came upon. I just wasn't completely in the zone, but it didn't stop me from trying.
Hitting those places with real warm up or momentum was like jumping right into an NFL playoff game with the regular season. I guess it would be like playing one game before the playoff game. I had a Day2 with this girl I met back in April. I don't even know if it counts as a Day 2. We're just friends and I don't even really want more than that and I don't think she does either. It was her birthday party that 2j and I stopped by a few weeks ago. Thanks to her, I started the night drinking free Amstel Lights at this happy hour event. I had to limit myself since I knew I was picking up Jeffy afterward. I planned this last minute and ended up taking the train so I wouldn't deal with traffic. I met up with 2j on the train to my car and picked up Jeffy.
When Crescendo got busy, there were several hot girls there. The place was rough. It's so much easier to open and hook sets in Lincoln Park. 2j hooked this drunk girl early on. She happened to be a friend of this Indian girl that I must have seen out about 20 times this summer. This is the moody Indian girl who one week was friendly to me in line at Sound Bar. The next week, she told me to fuck off when I opened her in Sound Bar. The funny thing is I wasn't even trying to sarge her at the time. I was just being friendly. Then, she was cool with me two weeks later.
My best set of this night was this Russian redhead. I managed to stop her as she was walking by. I was all up on her and talked to her for about 5 minutes before she said she had to find her friends. I suppose I should have just plowed with more material when she said that but I didn't do so at the time.
I had this amusing interaction with this tall redhead at Spy Bar. 2j pointed her out to me as he knows I like them. I opened her and was talking briefly and then she said, "Are you gonna buy us a bottle?" I laughed and said, "No, you need to ask one of these dudes to buy you a bottle and share it with me." I laugh because I'm the last person that I would buy her a bottle and I also chuckle because you know at least one fool has chumped out and done that for her in the past.
We ended the night on Division Street. We were in this one bar where several girls were dancing on this couch area. I saw a girl squatting on the chair. I opened her by saying, "Look at you, you either have to sit down or stand up and dance. There's no, half-assing like that. Chose one." She giggled and then she said, "Okay, I'll dance for you." While I opened it, it made it hard to do anything more. I thought about how Manwhore has said that when girls are dancing up like that, he goes up to them and just starts talking to them as they are dancing. I forced myself to stay and dance in front of her. I had her high five me but then I felt awkward and walked away. I know that the move is to just stay with it. I could have kept yelling shit to her as she was dancing and then tried to pull her down later on.
Tonight was a good warm up for this weekend. I know I'm gonna get pumped up from the Free Tour. Seeing the boot camp will also motivate me like it did in April. Most importantly, my shitty mood from Saturday is gone and my positivity has returned. Even though my best set was merely a 5 minutes hook, I really enjoyed my evening. I used to always have fun until I fell into that trap of having way too high expectations for myself.
Hitting those places with real warm up or momentum was like jumping right into an NFL playoff game with the regular season. I guess it would be like playing one game before the playoff game. I had a Day2 with this girl I met back in April. I don't even know if it counts as a Day 2. We're just friends and I don't even really want more than that and I don't think she does either. It was her birthday party that 2j and I stopped by a few weeks ago. Thanks to her, I started the night drinking free Amstel Lights at this happy hour event. I had to limit myself since I knew I was picking up Jeffy afterward. I planned this last minute and ended up taking the train so I wouldn't deal with traffic. I met up with 2j on the train to my car and picked up Jeffy.
When Crescendo got busy, there were several hot girls there. The place was rough. It's so much easier to open and hook sets in Lincoln Park. 2j hooked this drunk girl early on. She happened to be a friend of this Indian girl that I must have seen out about 20 times this summer. This is the moody Indian girl who one week was friendly to me in line at Sound Bar. The next week, she told me to fuck off when I opened her in Sound Bar. The funny thing is I wasn't even trying to sarge her at the time. I was just being friendly. Then, she was cool with me two weeks later.
My best set of this night was this Russian redhead. I managed to stop her as she was walking by. I was all up on her and talked to her for about 5 minutes before she said she had to find her friends. I suppose I should have just plowed with more material when she said that but I didn't do so at the time.
I had this amusing interaction with this tall redhead at Spy Bar. 2j pointed her out to me as he knows I like them. I opened her and was talking briefly and then she said, "Are you gonna buy us a bottle?" I laughed and said, "No, you need to ask one of these dudes to buy you a bottle and share it with me." I laugh because I'm the last person that I would buy her a bottle and I also chuckle because you know at least one fool has chumped out and done that for her in the past.
We ended the night on Division Street. We were in this one bar where several girls were dancing on this couch area. I saw a girl squatting on the chair. I opened her by saying, "Look at you, you either have to sit down or stand up and dance. There's no, half-assing like that. Chose one." She giggled and then she said, "Okay, I'll dance for you." While I opened it, it made it hard to do anything more. I thought about how Manwhore has said that when girls are dancing up like that, he goes up to them and just starts talking to them as they are dancing. I forced myself to stay and dance in front of her. I had her high five me but then I felt awkward and walked away. I know that the move is to just stay with it. I could have kept yelling shit to her as she was dancing and then tried to pull her down later on.
Tonight was a good warm up for this weekend. I know I'm gonna get pumped up from the Free Tour. Seeing the boot camp will also motivate me like it did in April. Most importantly, my shitty mood from Saturday is gone and my positivity has returned. Even though my best set was merely a 5 minutes hook, I really enjoyed my evening. I used to always have fun until I fell into that trap of having way too high expectations for myself.
Spent a car ride with Jeffy/Jlaix
I suppose this deserves it's own post. 2j and I picked up Jeffy and his assistant at the airport. 2j is hosting the assistant and they needed a ride so 2j asked me if I could do it. I live by the airport anyway and always go down to the city to sarge with 2j so it was on the way. Besides, I figured it would be cool to spend some time with one of the big RSD guys.
I didn't bombard him with questions like some guys would do. I know so much theory that I actually don't have any specific questions that can help me. I have to improve by doing more field work, leading more, pushing my comfort levels, and gaining reference experiences and calibration from all that. If I can't figure out how to analyze what happened (and that happens mostly with late game/pulling situations), I ask 2j or post on the forums. Even if I had a ton of questions, I wouldn't have bothered him with them. So guys treat these PUA guys like just objects who can dispense pickup knowledge.
It actually surprised me that the conversation turned towards game for a bit. I figured that they'd want a break from game since they are gonna have a full weekend of free tour, boot camp, hot seat, etc. I suppose it's like when I've hung out with poker people. I'd naturally start talking about poker and I suppose it's natural that PUA's end up talking about some aspect of sarging. We all got into this because we love women and sarging, after all.
Jeffy is about what I expected. What you see on video is basically what you get. Keep in mind that I only spent a 20 minute car ride with him. I didn't get to see the man in action, but I'm sure I'll see them out in the field at some point. I ran into the boot camp back in April as well and I know on Thursdays that they go to where we normally go out.
The one thing I will say is that you realize he's just a normal guy that just happens to have put a lot of field work into sarging and has turned into a master PUA and PUA guru. Tyler has always said that they are just regular guys who put hard work to become good at what they do.
Of course, out in the field, they are larger than life. They are getting success with women that I always dreamed about. Realizing that they are regular guys does make you realize that with enough work, we can all improve as well. I don't expect to get to their level, but I know I can surpass where I am. Just this year, I've progressed so much and I've been a part of crazy adventures that I never would have imagine possible.
Let me close by saying it's funny how life works out. It's funny how I wound up in a set of circumstances that resulted in me spending a car ride with Jeffy. It's cool how Jeffy, while a normal cool guy as I described above, is also the author of "Get Laid or Die Trying" (which I really will buy at some point), the RSD guru, and the guy who's living the PUA lifestyle that we all would like to have. So yeah, Jeffy ending up being in my car for a ride into the city is cool.
I didn't bombard him with questions like some guys would do. I know so much theory that I actually don't have any specific questions that can help me. I have to improve by doing more field work, leading more, pushing my comfort levels, and gaining reference experiences and calibration from all that. If I can't figure out how to analyze what happened (and that happens mostly with late game/pulling situations), I ask 2j or post on the forums. Even if I had a ton of questions, I wouldn't have bothered him with them. So guys treat these PUA guys like just objects who can dispense pickup knowledge.
It actually surprised me that the conversation turned towards game for a bit. I figured that they'd want a break from game since they are gonna have a full weekend of free tour, boot camp, hot seat, etc. I suppose it's like when I've hung out with poker people. I'd naturally start talking about poker and I suppose it's natural that PUA's end up talking about some aspect of sarging. We all got into this because we love women and sarging, after all.
Jeffy is about what I expected. What you see on video is basically what you get. Keep in mind that I only spent a 20 minute car ride with him. I didn't get to see the man in action, but I'm sure I'll see them out in the field at some point. I ran into the boot camp back in April as well and I know on Thursdays that they go to where we normally go out.
The one thing I will say is that you realize he's just a normal guy that just happens to have put a lot of field work into sarging and has turned into a master PUA and PUA guru. Tyler has always said that they are just regular guys who put hard work to become good at what they do.
Of course, out in the field, they are larger than life. They are getting success with women that I always dreamed about. Realizing that they are regular guys does make you realize that with enough work, we can all improve as well. I don't expect to get to their level, but I know I can surpass where I am. Just this year, I've progressed so much and I've been a part of crazy adventures that I never would have imagine possible.
Let me close by saying it's funny how life works out. It's funny how I wound up in a set of circumstances that resulted in me spending a car ride with Jeffy. It's cool how Jeffy, while a normal cool guy as I described above, is also the author of "Get Laid or Die Trying" (which I really will buy at some point), the RSD guru, and the guy who's living the PUA lifestyle that we all would like to have. So yeah, Jeffy ending up being in my car for a ride into the city is cool.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Math girl: LTR material? & Community conditioning
I had that initial Day 2 with Math girl that I blogged about Sept 30. I went on a Day 3 that went great on Thursday and we hung out again Monday night. I feel weird writing a detailed report about her probably because I do actually like her.
Sometimes, I'm wondering what I'm gonna say on Day 2's, on the phone or through text. That happened when I first text her, but after that, it was like we just clicked. I can't even remember a moment when we've hung out in person and I've felt my mind trying to think of what to say, or trying to fill some void in the conversation. We just feel really at ease talking to each other.
Things are moving slower than I usually expect and part of me was frustrated with that initially. One reason, is that I feared she was gonna be like my first girlfriend. I was worried she didn't like sex, but the other night, we had a good talk that cleared things up. 2j's theory after the Day2 was that Math girl really liked me and when girls do that, they often want to make you wait. Sometimes they do this because they fear that if they hook up too quickly, they'll lose you. They also worry if you really like them or if just want to have sex them. I suspected I might have been dealing with some of these reasons so I tried to make her comfortable by telling her that I didn't just want this to be a one night thing. (I'll note that's a LMR tactic, but I really did feel that way. As I've said before, I practice the light side of the game. I don't like to lie and say something like that to help bust LMR if I don't really feel it.) It turns out she's worried about getting too attached. She's afraid things might break off at the wrong time and she'll end up screwing up her grades (and in this case, it would mean screwing up her future job prospects and career. She's not in college anymore, so this is different.)
2j pointed out too that if things are progressing, that I shouldn't be worrying about it anyway. Hearing her reasoning finally put me fully at ease with how things are going. Today, I also thought about Style's time line at the end of "The Game." Sometimes, you can or have to take things slower.
Community Conditioning?:
I feel like I've broken through much of social conditioning when it comes to sarging and relationship. At the same time, I wonder if I've taken on community conditioning. I told 2j that I'm probably just being stupid. I let community thinking say that if I don't hook up by tne end of a Day2 or Day3 or whatever, then I'm a chump.
When 2j and I were talking today, I actually dug into my memory. I thought about my old AFC days. This situation is no where near a chode type situation. Back then, I'd buy multiple dinners for girls, and at times even over a period of months, and get shit. Sometimes I got a kiss and something I didn't get anything at all. Math girl has always wanted to pay for herself at the beginning and things have progressed pretty far so clearly this situation is way different.
What's the alternative?:
2j made a final great point. He said, "What's the alternative?" The answer would be to say, "Peace out" because we haven't had sex and not see her again. That's just dumb. I like this girl and feel a connection to her. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Sex is great and all, but what I have here is more rare than sex. Besides, when you have a real connection with someone, sex is inevitable. I don't need to rush it.
To make the point to myself, I picture pulling a hottie from the Thursday Sound Bar scene. Yeah, I'd love to bang one those girls. If I did, and she had a shit personality, it would be fun, but I would just be left with emptiness at the end. It would help me with entitlement issues, but it wouldn't give me what my interactions with Math girl have given me thus far.
Math girl is a really cool, smart woman, and I'm gonna continue seeing her. I no longer feel the need to rush things on some community schedule. On the other hand, I'm not gonna do what JW did and commit to her at such an early point. If I embraced the dark side of the game, I probably could have sped things along if I had told her what JW told his girl. I could have told her that I was looking for a serious girlfriend and told her I really liked her, etc. I have told her that I like her, but I also told her that I'm still on a journey and I don't want to get married for a long time. I'll continue sarging, but my mind often drifts into thought about Math girl. I suspect sarging is gonna get better as I'll be less outcome oriented and just more relaxed in field.
Sometimes, I'm wondering what I'm gonna say on Day 2's, on the phone or through text. That happened when I first text her, but after that, it was like we just clicked. I can't even remember a moment when we've hung out in person and I've felt my mind trying to think of what to say, or trying to fill some void in the conversation. We just feel really at ease talking to each other.
Things are moving slower than I usually expect and part of me was frustrated with that initially. One reason, is that I feared she was gonna be like my first girlfriend. I was worried she didn't like sex, but the other night, we had a good talk that cleared things up. 2j's theory after the Day2 was that Math girl really liked me and when girls do that, they often want to make you wait. Sometimes they do this because they fear that if they hook up too quickly, they'll lose you. They also worry if you really like them or if just want to have sex them. I suspected I might have been dealing with some of these reasons so I tried to make her comfortable by telling her that I didn't just want this to be a one night thing. (I'll note that's a LMR tactic, but I really did feel that way. As I've said before, I practice the light side of the game. I don't like to lie and say something like that to help bust LMR if I don't really feel it.) It turns out she's worried about getting too attached. She's afraid things might break off at the wrong time and she'll end up screwing up her grades (and in this case, it would mean screwing up her future job prospects and career. She's not in college anymore, so this is different.)
2j pointed out too that if things are progressing, that I shouldn't be worrying about it anyway. Hearing her reasoning finally put me fully at ease with how things are going. Today, I also thought about Style's time line at the end of "The Game." Sometimes, you can or have to take things slower.
Community Conditioning?:
I feel like I've broken through much of social conditioning when it comes to sarging and relationship. At the same time, I wonder if I've taken on community conditioning. I told 2j that I'm probably just being stupid. I let community thinking say that if I don't hook up by tne end of a Day2 or Day3 or whatever, then I'm a chump.
When 2j and I were talking today, I actually dug into my memory. I thought about my old AFC days. This situation is no where near a chode type situation. Back then, I'd buy multiple dinners for girls, and at times even over a period of months, and get shit. Sometimes I got a kiss and something I didn't get anything at all. Math girl has always wanted to pay for herself at the beginning and things have progressed pretty far so clearly this situation is way different.
What's the alternative?:
2j made a final great point. He said, "What's the alternative?" The answer would be to say, "Peace out" because we haven't had sex and not see her again. That's just dumb. I like this girl and feel a connection to her. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Sex is great and all, but what I have here is more rare than sex. Besides, when you have a real connection with someone, sex is inevitable. I don't need to rush it.
To make the point to myself, I picture pulling a hottie from the Thursday Sound Bar scene. Yeah, I'd love to bang one those girls. If I did, and she had a shit personality, it would be fun, but I would just be left with emptiness at the end. It would help me with entitlement issues, but it wouldn't give me what my interactions with Math girl have given me thus far.
Math girl is a really cool, smart woman, and I'm gonna continue seeing her. I no longer feel the need to rush things on some community schedule. On the other hand, I'm not gonna do what JW did and commit to her at such an early point. If I embraced the dark side of the game, I probably could have sped things along if I had told her what JW told his girl. I could have told her that I was looking for a serious girlfriend and told her I really liked her, etc. I have told her that I like her, but I also told her that I'm still on a journey and I don't want to get married for a long time. I'll continue sarging, but my mind often drifts into thought about Math girl. I suspect sarging is gonna get better as I'll be less outcome oriented and just more relaxed in field.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Wed & Sat speed reports & Second opportunities
I haven't been writing my daily field reports. I think part of it was I just needed a break from all of this: I mean writing field reports and sarging in general. 2j has also been less enthusiastic about going out and I wonder part of the reason is that transferring to me.
Part of my frustration is that I haven't been going out as much. My game definitely gets better from building momentum from going out a ton. I'd then go out after several days off and then somehow expect that I'd do as well as when I was going out every day. I also started to have too high expectations for the night. Wednesday, I was wasted and I was getting poor results. I finally hooked a set that was my type: she was average looking but she was really smart. Instead of sticking it through, I just ejected.
Part of me wanted something magical or crazy to happen. Despite things turning out badly with that theatrics chick, the night was exciting. In the process of trying to duplicate those results in a shit state, I just became frustrated.
This was apparent Saturday. Thursday night, I had a Day 2 with "Math girl." While that went well, I didn't do any cold approach. Friday, I didn't go out because I spent time with my mother the whole afternoon and evening and had gotten very little sleep Thursday night.
2j and I met up in Wrigelyville. I went to Clarke's for the $2 drafts. I had 2 beers which helped me feel better. I had a good night hanging out with my mom Friday, but Saturday, her nagging put me into a horrible mood. I was in such a bad mood that even an 8 mile run didn't fix it.
Despite my mood and 2j not opening despite me pushing him, I ended up opening these two cute girls that were seated at the bar next to me. I had seen them when I walked in initially. I didn't open them and I even text 2j asking him to open them when he came in. Finally, about ten minutes after he arrive, I went to the bathroom and forced myself to open the set. It actually went well. We found out the girls were two British girl on holiday (I'll use their term instead of the American term "vacation") and were only in town for two days.
Asking for the venue change:
My girl ended up asking us what places were good in the area and where "Wrigelyville" actually was. I told her about Barleycorn. Even though I knew the move, I didn't do the proper thing and try to venue change them. Later, the girls were getting ready to leave. I again mentioned Barleycorn. I was hoping 2j would give me some help and push for the venue change. He later said he was really out of his game, especially because he had started a sober gaming challenge and had gotten too used to warming up by drinking. The girls ended up leaving, and then I lamented how we could have venue change the set.
Groundhog day?:
An amazing thing happened: when we left the place, we saw the girls walking on the sidewalk. I pointed them out when I saw them in the distance walking towards us and said, "Look at this, we actually have been given the chance to redeem ourselves. Let's push this venue change."
2j actually pulled through this time. I said, "Hey, it's you guys again." 2j said, "Are you lost?"
They asked again where Wrigleyville was, and 2j said, "We'll show you."
We started walking up Sheffield. I started just doing my tour guide mode. I told them stories and fact about the city and about where we were going. For some reason, 2j was walking too fast and getting ahead of them. I kept spewing stuff for about 3 blocks and then I started to get self-conscious. I caught up to 2j and we started talking.
We suddenly turned around, and we saw the girls had stopped at the intersection behind us. 2j said that he sensed something weird with them and that's why he wasn't talking. I said, "Things might have been weird, but the move was for both of us to talk to them. They just met us and were walking with two guys they barely knew in an area they'd never been to."
I went on to say that we just needed to talk and make them comfortable and we could have gotten them to Barleycorn.
MILF?!:
I'll close by talking about this set that I debated internally. We opened some sets in Barleycorn. I saw this blonde who looked cute from a few feet away. I told 2j I was thinking about opening and he commented that they looked older. I always joke that "looking older" means the girls are probably around my age. I opened aggressively and started dancing with her.
The girl was really into me. She kept talking to me and being almost overly flirtatious. She'd whisper in my ear and let her mouth get really close to my ear. When she moved close to hear me, she made her face brush really close to my face.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this. She was cute, but she had this freckles on her shoulders that just made her look old. Then, she said she was here with her son and daughter and she pointed them out. This made her mid to late 40's age range. On top of that, I just felt weird dancing with the mom while the kids were there.
2j made a good point later on. He said that I could have just number closed so I didn't have to deal with that, and I could have decided whether I wanted to try to hook up with her or not. I also could have just asked, "Are you single?" She probably was divorced and wanting to party considering how she was acting towards me.
While I felt shitty at the end of Saturday, it really was a night of second chances. Later, I saw the MILF and her kids and their friends standing outside on the street. I made eye contact with her and approached her. She smiled and was all excited to see me. I just gave her a high five and continued my night but maybe I should have pursued her.
Part of my frustration is that I haven't been going out as much. My game definitely gets better from building momentum from going out a ton. I'd then go out after several days off and then somehow expect that I'd do as well as when I was going out every day. I also started to have too high expectations for the night. Wednesday, I was wasted and I was getting poor results. I finally hooked a set that was my type: she was average looking but she was really smart. Instead of sticking it through, I just ejected.
Part of me wanted something magical or crazy to happen. Despite things turning out badly with that theatrics chick, the night was exciting. In the process of trying to duplicate those results in a shit state, I just became frustrated.
This was apparent Saturday. Thursday night, I had a Day 2 with "Math girl." While that went well, I didn't do any cold approach. Friday, I didn't go out because I spent time with my mother the whole afternoon and evening and had gotten very little sleep Thursday night.
2j and I met up in Wrigelyville. I went to Clarke's for the $2 drafts. I had 2 beers which helped me feel better. I had a good night hanging out with my mom Friday, but Saturday, her nagging put me into a horrible mood. I was in such a bad mood that even an 8 mile run didn't fix it.
Despite my mood and 2j not opening despite me pushing him, I ended up opening these two cute girls that were seated at the bar next to me. I had seen them when I walked in initially. I didn't open them and I even text 2j asking him to open them when he came in. Finally, about ten minutes after he arrive, I went to the bathroom and forced myself to open the set. It actually went well. We found out the girls were two British girl on holiday (I'll use their term instead of the American term "vacation") and were only in town for two days.
Asking for the venue change:
My girl ended up asking us what places were good in the area and where "Wrigelyville" actually was. I told her about Barleycorn. Even though I knew the move, I didn't do the proper thing and try to venue change them. Later, the girls were getting ready to leave. I again mentioned Barleycorn. I was hoping 2j would give me some help and push for the venue change. He later said he was really out of his game, especially because he had started a sober gaming challenge and had gotten too used to warming up by drinking. The girls ended up leaving, and then I lamented how we could have venue change the set.
Groundhog day?:
An amazing thing happened: when we left the place, we saw the girls walking on the sidewalk. I pointed them out when I saw them in the distance walking towards us and said, "Look at this, we actually have been given the chance to redeem ourselves. Let's push this venue change."
2j actually pulled through this time. I said, "Hey, it's you guys again." 2j said, "Are you lost?"
They asked again where Wrigleyville was, and 2j said, "We'll show you."
We started walking up Sheffield. I started just doing my tour guide mode. I told them stories and fact about the city and about where we were going. For some reason, 2j was walking too fast and getting ahead of them. I kept spewing stuff for about 3 blocks and then I started to get self-conscious. I caught up to 2j and we started talking.
We suddenly turned around, and we saw the girls had stopped at the intersection behind us. 2j said that he sensed something weird with them and that's why he wasn't talking. I said, "Things might have been weird, but the move was for both of us to talk to them. They just met us and were walking with two guys they barely knew in an area they'd never been to."
I went on to say that we just needed to talk and make them comfortable and we could have gotten them to Barleycorn.
MILF?!:
I'll close by talking about this set that I debated internally. We opened some sets in Barleycorn. I saw this blonde who looked cute from a few feet away. I told 2j I was thinking about opening and he commented that they looked older. I always joke that "looking older" means the girls are probably around my age. I opened aggressively and started dancing with her.
The girl was really into me. She kept talking to me and being almost overly flirtatious. She'd whisper in my ear and let her mouth get really close to my ear. When she moved close to hear me, she made her face brush really close to my face.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this. She was cute, but she had this freckles on her shoulders that just made her look old. Then, she said she was here with her son and daughter and she pointed them out. This made her mid to late 40's age range. On top of that, I just felt weird dancing with the mom while the kids were there.
2j made a good point later on. He said that I could have just number closed so I didn't have to deal with that, and I could have decided whether I wanted to try to hook up with her or not. I also could have just asked, "Are you single?" She probably was divorced and wanting to party considering how she was acting towards me.
While I felt shitty at the end of Saturday, it really was a night of second chances. Later, I saw the MILF and her kids and their friends standing outside on the street. I made eye contact with her and approached her. She smiled and was all excited to see me. I just gave her a high five and continued my night but maybe I should have pursued her.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Kissing and grinding and then theatrics to get rid of me...
I'll open this by saying that strangely, I developed slightly higher standards for girls I will go for and I realize now that might be a mistake. I lack experience in late game and it's preventing me from turning sets into actually pulls and sex. Part of me feels anger and frustration when I get into situations where I don't know what the right move is. I'll add that tonight I had to ponder what happened for a long time to figure out what I might have done better. I'm so used to knowing exactly where I screwed up.
At the same time, I realize that I can't beat myself up for failing in late game due to inexperience. Part of the solution is that I need to stop reading the Main RSD forums and concentrate on field reports, especially lay reports. The answer lie in learning what works and fails for others. The big part of the solution is just learning the calibration through experience. This goes back to what I opened with above: I need to try to pull any girls that are willing or seem DTF so I can learn from the experiences.
I wanna dance with her:
I started the night getting free food and drinks. My college friends win these free 2 hour bar parties from trivia. 2j was gonna meet me there but he ended up going to a lair speaker, but fortunately JW came out. JW, 2j, 2j's roommate and I went to check out Enclave. I put out this idea since I knew I didn't need the free drinks from Sound Bar tonight. We will definitely go there again as it was busy when we got there and that was before 11PM. I was wasted and I could tell 2j figured I'd be running my shitty drunken game again. I opened some girls, including this really tall girl but they went nowhere.
I spotted these two chubby blondes and told JW, "I wanna dance with her." The one I liked was a little taller than me (but she had heels on) and even though she was chubby, she had a really cute face. She was dancing crazily and I just went up to her. I don't remember the actualy opener, but I think I did the high five move that I turn into a spin. Immediately, I can tell this was on.
I ended up getting no wing help as none of the guys I were with were interested in the friend. It was okay as the friend didn't cockblock at all. I tried to give her a little attention but then I realized she was just gonna let things happen. Later, this black girl showed up and I text 2j to come wing me. He wasn't attracted to her. I thought she was cute and she had a trim body.
I didn't want to overescalate:
This was one of the dance floor sets that were just totally on. I could tell by the way she grinded on me immediately after I spun her. I used my leg stimulation move. I ran my fingers through her hair at times and I pulled gently, but firmly on her hair, which turned her on. I brushed her hair from her neck and blew into her ear. I kissed her neck and sucked on her neck. I gave her strong eye contact which she held. I kept hovering my face near her face.
When we were dancing, I began to probe how far I could push things by moving my hand near her pussy. I touch her pussy a few times and she didn't resist. I thought back to other sets and decided I didn't want to start fingering her as I was afraid I was gonna overescalate and blow out. I also had no where to pull. I had taken public transportation in so I didn't have my car. I'm pretty sure there's no private bathroom in that club and I actually didn't even know where the bathrooms were.
I should mention that I had moved her away from her friends several times. They were fine with us dancing and being all over each other, but it's a good move regardless. I should always be working to isolate from the friends.
I'm taken:
This perhaps was part of the problem of the entire night. The girl was into me, but she had a boyfriend. It's funny how girls work sometimes. I could suck on her neck, touch her pussy, etc, but she told me she had a boyfriend when I tried kissing her initially. I said, "That's cool, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I just want to have fun." She said, "Good" and then I went back to kissing her neck. About a minute later, I got her turned on and we kissed and made out anyway.
I had number closed her at one point. I remember that one time, when I had her isolated, she said she had to find her friends. She didn't want to leave me as she asked if I would dance with her again. I told her I could just come with her.
Can I come with?
That point leads to another theme of tonight. While I want to beat myself up, I should be happy that I'm gaining confidence. Even though I knew things were on, in the past, I would have been hesitant to go with her to find the friends. Later, I wouldn't have asked if I could go with her to the next bar. It's a good move to just ask girls if you can come along.
The girls planned to go to a bar in Lincoln Park where they knew a bartender. I went with them. I was holding the girls hand most of the time that we left Enclave. This including walking to the train. On the train, she sat next to me. When we got off, we held her hand again.
At the second bar, there wasn't much dancing. The dance floor area was closed off as the bar was slow. My girl wanted to play pool and paid for a game. I was playing but I hate pool and suck at it, so I told the black girl to play for me. The bar ended up closing and the guy they knew wanted to venue change them all to an after hours place.
Let's go have food at your place:
I'm not a total idiot. The guy was taking forever with the venue change. I also knew that going another 2 hours at after hours wasn't the best plan. I had a problem, though, because the two blondes were roommates. They had all mentioned going home while the bartender guy was dragging. I told my girl, "We should go back to your place and grab some food." She said, "You're not coming back to my place."
I think the move was okay, but I also knew at the time that her buying temperature had dropped. It might have been a good move, but I needed to pump her state up. It was hard because we were surrounded by her two girl friends, and the orbiter guy was hovering around too. Since it's cold out too, there weren't that many people standing on the sidewalk either so it's not like I could have had mini isolation behind a pack of people outside.
I told you I had a boyfriend:
I hate to admit that I turned into quiet mode on the walk to the after hours bar. The orbiter guy was cool to me, but he aggravated me a little bit. He was talking shit to random people we walked past. Later, in the bar, two guys tried opened the black girl and the roommate. They got busted out. As they were walking away, the bartender dude was coming back and he laughed at them and said, "Good try (sarcastically)."
Again, he treated me fine, but I could see he was the kind of orbiter that I hate when I open mixed sets. In a way, I felt like he was picking on the weak. The two guys were brave to open and had gotten busted out and he had to dig the knife into them. I know that if I were in a good state, and I had been them, I would have tooled him and made him look stupid.
Other than that, the guy and his friend were cool. I got into quiet mode for some reason. I should add that about three storefronts before we got to the after hours place, my girl dropped my hand. In the bar she said, "I told you I had a boyfriend." I said my line about how, "I just wanted to have fun."
That's a true statement. I was trying to create a fun time for both of us. I wanted to hook up and I think she would have enjoyed it too. I did not want to steal her from her boyfriend. I'd want her to stay with him.
Anyway, she had said that perhaps because I wasn't talking enough and also because she was losing buying temp.
Unbelievable make out theatrics:
I tried talking to her. I used some of my usual stuff to hold a girls attention. Where I screwed up is I tried several times to stroke her arm. I stopped that when I saw she wasn't responding. (I had text 2j that I knew I was losing her and he told me to try to raise her buying temp again the same way I did originally. I couldn't do that as there was no edancing in this bar). The big theatrics came when I tried to isolate her to the basketball machine, "Let's go play that basketball game," I said.
She replied, "Why don't you go play the basketball game with her? (point to the black girl." In retrospect, I should have went and played it with her. Instead, I gave her this incredulous look as I knew she was blowing me off with that line. Then I just sat there. Next, she started whispering to her girlfriends. I knew she was talking about me. Sometimes, I know I'm being paranoid, but I could tell this time. She kept looking at me while whispering, plus she had never whispered to them the entire night.
I should have got up and walk around at this point. I just kept sitting there. Then, she starts whiserping to the orbiter. Suddenly, she gets my attention by tapping me and says, "Watch this!" Then, she initiated a long make out with the orbiter.
I actually laughed. Her two girlfriends were looking at her and the black girl said, "WTF is that?" I said, "She putting on that show just for me." Then she turned to me and said, "That means it's time for you to go."
She figured I was gonna be deflated. I sat there for two minutes. I knew it was just a big fucking show for me. From going out so much, I knew the guy was just an orbiter. I knew she had lost buying temperature and she felt awkward having me there.
I'll sarge this fucking bar:
Tim calls it the "fury." My competitive side really kicks me into gear. I remember how I felt when I saw that bootcamp in April walk in. I suddenly wanted to turn up my game. It's the same way I felt when that lame ass instructor guy tried to steal a tall Spanish girl from me. If I could somehow game the way I do when I feel this way, I'd be unstoppable. What went through my head was something like this, "Did you just seriously orchestrate that BS for me? Yeah, I probably fucked this up at some point and I was too quiet. I know you wanted me and I wanted this to happen. At the same time, do you think I can't get any other girls? I left my wing and hung out with you when I could have met even hotter girls at Enclave."
I went and tried to sarge some other girls but the place didn't have many sets. Every girl I saw was with some guys. Part of me thinks I should have left the group and just started working the room. That would have got me out of that passive state I was in when we walked into the bar. The group I hooked ended up being these 3 siblings. I could tell the one girl was attracted to me, but she ended up being married. The brother was cool. At the end, I found out the third girl was her sister. Perhaps, I should have tried to sarge her more, but they ended up leaving, and at the time, I was just happy to be in another set away from my original girl.
I talked to some guys and as I was about to go back in front by the original girl to get my coat, I saw her walk by. I got her attention and she said, "Oh hey." I grabbed her hand and said, "You know, all the theatrics weren't necessary." She walked in to the bathroom. I went by the guy. He was all drunk. I told him, "Thanks for taking me here. This is a cool place. Oh, and tell her, all the theatrics weren't necessary." I stood by him for about ten seconds. He was so drunk that he dozed off for a second. I tapped him cause I was gonna leave, and he woke up from his daze and dropped his beer.
Free cover and beer:
I can't complain about the orbiter guys other than what I said above. They treated me fine and I even got comps from them. When we got to the place, the bouncer said it was $5 cover. The roommate began to pull out money and the orbiter bartender said, "I got their cover." The girls walked in, and I just walked in as well. I wasn't gonna pay to get in that place. I used to feel bad about taking advantage, but now I don't. A few minutes in, my girl told the bartender orbiter's friend to buy the black girl a beer. He ended up going to the bar and buying a bunch of beers. I gave token resistance to the beer, but as soon as they insisted after that (which I expected), I took the free beer.
The good & the bad: an analysis:
I should be happy that I had a girl hooked this strongly. Yeah, she wasn't hot, but again, I believe in the binary scale. Plus, I really did think she had a cute face and she's blonde with pale skin which I like. I learned from overescalation in the past, and early on, I maintained her buying temperature. I actually had the confidence to push for going with the venue change and to stay with her at Enclave. There have been too many times when I just lost confidence and assumed the girl didn't want me. This time, early on, I assumed it was on and proceeded.
What was bad is that I got quiet during the walk to the after hours bar. If I find myself in this situation again, I know I can just start opening random people at the bar on the way to the bathroom and get myself into a talkative mood again.
My failure to pull often has been caused by failing to lead. I need to talk things over with 2j, but after thinking about this the like two hour train & bus ride, plus 3 mile walk to get home, I have two ideas.
How I could have lead:
If I had been in the right venues, I could have tried a bathroom pull or car pull. To do that, I could have got her into a corner and started to make out with her and finger her and then just tried the pull. I also could have really pumped her state and tried to get her to go to her place. She wanted to stay by the friends. If I had said, "Let's go to your place" she would have objected and said she had to stay with her friends. I would have needed to just blow that objection off. I'm thinking maybe I could have been forward with what I wanted.
I'm thinking, I could have pumped her state and just said, "Let's go to your place." She probably would have brought up the boyfriend. I'm thinking I could have said, "I don't want you to leave him. You guys should be together. I just want to be your boyfriend tonight. No one has to know. Let's go."
If I had to go to the second bar, I think I should have tried to seed the pull there. I would have liked to keep her buying temp up, but it didn't help that the place was slow with no dance floor.
When we were standing around waiting for the bartender orbiter, maybe I could have been aggressive and lead her to a cab. I'm not sure.
At the same time, I realize that I can't beat myself up for failing in late game due to inexperience. Part of the solution is that I need to stop reading the Main RSD forums and concentrate on field reports, especially lay reports. The answer lie in learning what works and fails for others. The big part of the solution is just learning the calibration through experience. This goes back to what I opened with above: I need to try to pull any girls that are willing or seem DTF so I can learn from the experiences.
I wanna dance with her:
I started the night getting free food and drinks. My college friends win these free 2 hour bar parties from trivia. 2j was gonna meet me there but he ended up going to a lair speaker, but fortunately JW came out. JW, 2j, 2j's roommate and I went to check out Enclave. I put out this idea since I knew I didn't need the free drinks from Sound Bar tonight. We will definitely go there again as it was busy when we got there and that was before 11PM. I was wasted and I could tell 2j figured I'd be running my shitty drunken game again. I opened some girls, including this really tall girl but they went nowhere.
I spotted these two chubby blondes and told JW, "I wanna dance with her." The one I liked was a little taller than me (but she had heels on) and even though she was chubby, she had a really cute face. She was dancing crazily and I just went up to her. I don't remember the actualy opener, but I think I did the high five move that I turn into a spin. Immediately, I can tell this was on.
I ended up getting no wing help as none of the guys I were with were interested in the friend. It was okay as the friend didn't cockblock at all. I tried to give her a little attention but then I realized she was just gonna let things happen. Later, this black girl showed up and I text 2j to come wing me. He wasn't attracted to her. I thought she was cute and she had a trim body.
I didn't want to overescalate:
This was one of the dance floor sets that were just totally on. I could tell by the way she grinded on me immediately after I spun her. I used my leg stimulation move. I ran my fingers through her hair at times and I pulled gently, but firmly on her hair, which turned her on. I brushed her hair from her neck and blew into her ear. I kissed her neck and sucked on her neck. I gave her strong eye contact which she held. I kept hovering my face near her face.
When we were dancing, I began to probe how far I could push things by moving my hand near her pussy. I touch her pussy a few times and she didn't resist. I thought back to other sets and decided I didn't want to start fingering her as I was afraid I was gonna overescalate and blow out. I also had no where to pull. I had taken public transportation in so I didn't have my car. I'm pretty sure there's no private bathroom in that club and I actually didn't even know where the bathrooms were.
I should mention that I had moved her away from her friends several times. They were fine with us dancing and being all over each other, but it's a good move regardless. I should always be working to isolate from the friends.
I'm taken:
This perhaps was part of the problem of the entire night. The girl was into me, but she had a boyfriend. It's funny how girls work sometimes. I could suck on her neck, touch her pussy, etc, but she told me she had a boyfriend when I tried kissing her initially. I said, "That's cool, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I just want to have fun." She said, "Good" and then I went back to kissing her neck. About a minute later, I got her turned on and we kissed and made out anyway.
I had number closed her at one point. I remember that one time, when I had her isolated, she said she had to find her friends. She didn't want to leave me as she asked if I would dance with her again. I told her I could just come with her.
Can I come with?
That point leads to another theme of tonight. While I want to beat myself up, I should be happy that I'm gaining confidence. Even though I knew things were on, in the past, I would have been hesitant to go with her to find the friends. Later, I wouldn't have asked if I could go with her to the next bar. It's a good move to just ask girls if you can come along.
The girls planned to go to a bar in Lincoln Park where they knew a bartender. I went with them. I was holding the girls hand most of the time that we left Enclave. This including walking to the train. On the train, she sat next to me. When we got off, we held her hand again.
At the second bar, there wasn't much dancing. The dance floor area was closed off as the bar was slow. My girl wanted to play pool and paid for a game. I was playing but I hate pool and suck at it, so I told the black girl to play for me. The bar ended up closing and the guy they knew wanted to venue change them all to an after hours place.
Let's go have food at your place:
I'm not a total idiot. The guy was taking forever with the venue change. I also knew that going another 2 hours at after hours wasn't the best plan. I had a problem, though, because the two blondes were roommates. They had all mentioned going home while the bartender guy was dragging. I told my girl, "We should go back to your place and grab some food." She said, "You're not coming back to my place."
I think the move was okay, but I also knew at the time that her buying temperature had dropped. It might have been a good move, but I needed to pump her state up. It was hard because we were surrounded by her two girl friends, and the orbiter guy was hovering around too. Since it's cold out too, there weren't that many people standing on the sidewalk either so it's not like I could have had mini isolation behind a pack of people outside.
I told you I had a boyfriend:
I hate to admit that I turned into quiet mode on the walk to the after hours bar. The orbiter guy was cool to me, but he aggravated me a little bit. He was talking shit to random people we walked past. Later, in the bar, two guys tried opened the black girl and the roommate. They got busted out. As they were walking away, the bartender dude was coming back and he laughed at them and said, "Good try (sarcastically)."
Again, he treated me fine, but I could see he was the kind of orbiter that I hate when I open mixed sets. In a way, I felt like he was picking on the weak. The two guys were brave to open and had gotten busted out and he had to dig the knife into them. I know that if I were in a good state, and I had been them, I would have tooled him and made him look stupid.
Other than that, the guy and his friend were cool. I got into quiet mode for some reason. I should add that about three storefronts before we got to the after hours place, my girl dropped my hand. In the bar she said, "I told you I had a boyfriend." I said my line about how, "I just wanted to have fun."
That's a true statement. I was trying to create a fun time for both of us. I wanted to hook up and I think she would have enjoyed it too. I did not want to steal her from her boyfriend. I'd want her to stay with him.
Anyway, she had said that perhaps because I wasn't talking enough and also because she was losing buying temp.
Unbelievable make out theatrics:
I tried talking to her. I used some of my usual stuff to hold a girls attention. Where I screwed up is I tried several times to stroke her arm. I stopped that when I saw she wasn't responding. (I had text 2j that I knew I was losing her and he told me to try to raise her buying temp again the same way I did originally. I couldn't do that as there was no edancing in this bar). The big theatrics came when I tried to isolate her to the basketball machine, "Let's go play that basketball game," I said.
She replied, "Why don't you go play the basketball game with her? (point to the black girl." In retrospect, I should have went and played it with her. Instead, I gave her this incredulous look as I knew she was blowing me off with that line. Then I just sat there. Next, she started whispering to her girlfriends. I knew she was talking about me. Sometimes, I know I'm being paranoid, but I could tell this time. She kept looking at me while whispering, plus she had never whispered to them the entire night.
I should have got up and walk around at this point. I just kept sitting there. Then, she starts whiserping to the orbiter. Suddenly, she gets my attention by tapping me and says, "Watch this!" Then, she initiated a long make out with the orbiter.
I actually laughed. Her two girlfriends were looking at her and the black girl said, "WTF is that?" I said, "She putting on that show just for me." Then she turned to me and said, "That means it's time for you to go."
She figured I was gonna be deflated. I sat there for two minutes. I knew it was just a big fucking show for me. From going out so much, I knew the guy was just an orbiter. I knew she had lost buying temperature and she felt awkward having me there.
I'll sarge this fucking bar:
Tim calls it the "fury." My competitive side really kicks me into gear. I remember how I felt when I saw that bootcamp in April walk in. I suddenly wanted to turn up my game. It's the same way I felt when that lame ass instructor guy tried to steal a tall Spanish girl from me. If I could somehow game the way I do when I feel this way, I'd be unstoppable. What went through my head was something like this, "Did you just seriously orchestrate that BS for me? Yeah, I probably fucked this up at some point and I was too quiet. I know you wanted me and I wanted this to happen. At the same time, do you think I can't get any other girls? I left my wing and hung out with you when I could have met even hotter girls at Enclave."
I went and tried to sarge some other girls but the place didn't have many sets. Every girl I saw was with some guys. Part of me thinks I should have left the group and just started working the room. That would have got me out of that passive state I was in when we walked into the bar. The group I hooked ended up being these 3 siblings. I could tell the one girl was attracted to me, but she ended up being married. The brother was cool. At the end, I found out the third girl was her sister. Perhaps, I should have tried to sarge her more, but they ended up leaving, and at the time, I was just happy to be in another set away from my original girl.
I talked to some guys and as I was about to go back in front by the original girl to get my coat, I saw her walk by. I got her attention and she said, "Oh hey." I grabbed her hand and said, "You know, all the theatrics weren't necessary." She walked in to the bathroom. I went by the guy. He was all drunk. I told him, "Thanks for taking me here. This is a cool place. Oh, and tell her, all the theatrics weren't necessary." I stood by him for about ten seconds. He was so drunk that he dozed off for a second. I tapped him cause I was gonna leave, and he woke up from his daze and dropped his beer.
Free cover and beer:
I can't complain about the orbiter guys other than what I said above. They treated me fine and I even got comps from them. When we got to the place, the bouncer said it was $5 cover. The roommate began to pull out money and the orbiter bartender said, "I got their cover." The girls walked in, and I just walked in as well. I wasn't gonna pay to get in that place. I used to feel bad about taking advantage, but now I don't. A few minutes in, my girl told the bartender orbiter's friend to buy the black girl a beer. He ended up going to the bar and buying a bunch of beers. I gave token resistance to the beer, but as soon as they insisted after that (which I expected), I took the free beer.
The good & the bad: an analysis:
I should be happy that I had a girl hooked this strongly. Yeah, she wasn't hot, but again, I believe in the binary scale. Plus, I really did think she had a cute face and she's blonde with pale skin which I like. I learned from overescalation in the past, and early on, I maintained her buying temperature. I actually had the confidence to push for going with the venue change and to stay with her at Enclave. There have been too many times when I just lost confidence and assumed the girl didn't want me. This time, early on, I assumed it was on and proceeded.
What was bad is that I got quiet during the walk to the after hours bar. If I find myself in this situation again, I know I can just start opening random people at the bar on the way to the bathroom and get myself into a talkative mood again.
My failure to pull often has been caused by failing to lead. I need to talk things over with 2j, but after thinking about this the like two hour train & bus ride, plus 3 mile walk to get home, I have two ideas.
How I could have lead:
If I had been in the right venues, I could have tried a bathroom pull or car pull. To do that, I could have got her into a corner and started to make out with her and finger her and then just tried the pull. I also could have really pumped her state and tried to get her to go to her place. She wanted to stay by the friends. If I had said, "Let's go to your place" she would have objected and said she had to stay with her friends. I would have needed to just blow that objection off. I'm thinking maybe I could have been forward with what I wanted.
I'm thinking, I could have pumped her state and just said, "Let's go to your place." She probably would have brought up the boyfriend. I'm thinking I could have said, "I don't want you to leave him. You guys should be together. I just want to be your boyfriend tonight. No one has to know. Let's go."
If I had to go to the second bar, I think I should have tried to seed the pull there. I would have liked to keep her buying temp up, but it didn't help that the place was slow with no dance floor.
When we were standing around waiting for the bartender orbiter, maybe I could have been aggressive and lead her to a cab. I'm not sure.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Pushing too hard to go to her place but good Day 2
I will call this girl "Math girl" for reasons that will only make sense to me. I met her at Vinny's favorite place that Friday that I had the 3 number closes. I followed through on my plan to text my numbers from that weekend. I sent texts Friday night with the "Hope you got home safe" text and then I waiting till Sunday and Monday to follow up.
Somehow, I managed to do the right things with Math girl. 2j explained how he tries to build attraction through flirting, misinterpretation, and other means. I have a hard time making flirty texts, but I somehow managed to do it with one of her texts. I gave a flirty response that also made her envision us in a sexual situation and it worked as she typed and "LOL" and played along with it. Then I switched gears a bit and text some regular conversation before deciding to suggest we meet this week. She was about to go to bed but she told me she's usually busy during the week but has free time during the weekend.
I knew it was on when I didn't text her Tuesday. I was busy Wednesday and my Polish friend wanted to hang out with me for my birthday. We had lunch and then went to see a movie. When I came out of the movie, I saw I had a text from Math girl. I knew that was a good sign as at this early stage, girls don't often initiate texts. Many girls will respond and then I can occasionally set up a meet. When girls are texting me out of the blue, I know it's on.
We ended up setting up a meet for Thursday night.
I don't want this to be a one night thing:
That's a line I remember from when I first starting doing pickup. Girls often are afraid you'll disappear after you hook up with them, so saying that is a good way to make them more comfortable about hooking up with you. As Style said, there are light and dark sides of the game. Coming form the dark side, you say stuff like that and use other techniques so you can fuck a girl. I don't like to do that. I would only say that if I wanted more than just a SNL.
Math girl has been different than many of the girls I met this summer, at least thus far. We had great conversation from the beginning. I'm sure it helps that I was way more relaxed that my last day two, but it also helps that we seem to be compatible. I have cool stories, ect, but she kept up her end of the conversation. I enjoyed hearing her opinions on things and hearing her stories about her life.
When I told her later that I didn't want this to be a one night thing, I meant it.
Pushing too hard for the pull:
I don't want to go into the details of the night too much. We met for margaritas. We stayed there a long time and at no point was I getting the feeling that she wanted to leave. It was obvious we both wanted to keep the night going. I wanted to move things along so I suggested going for a walk. We stopped at this bar that was by the train and had a drink. We talked for a long time there and then I tried to go back to her place.
I told her we would just there and hang out. I suggested grabbing some liquor nearby. She initially agreed to the idea but then while waiting for the train and on the train ride, she changed her mind. When we got to her stop, she said we'd go to a bar near there as she wasn't ready to let me come home with her.
I think I kept pushing as I really knew part of her wanted it to happen. She had basically agreed for a moment to let me come over.
I think she couldn't fool herself. In her head, she had decided if she let me come over, she was going to have sex with me. Most girls figure that's what will happen, but they'll focus on the BS reason for going there and tell themselves the sex just happened. They will let it happen that way, but Math girl wanted to decide she was gonna have sex with me right then at the bar before she'd let me come over and she couldn't do it.
Again, she was definitely torn about it. She make comments about me sleeping over. She even said she had to get up early but she kept wanting to hang out. We probably could have hung out even longer but in the end I wanted to go. I wanted her to get some rest anyway instead of us just cuddling in the bar all night.
When to burn the set to the ground:
I decided near the end that I was done pushing for it. I felt like I was getting annoying. I also decided that I was happy with the evening. We were into each other, we had kissed multiple times. We were sitting on a couch in the bar in embrace the whole last hour. She made it clear she wanted to see me again and even hinted that we might hook up next week.
2j reminded me that sometimes you should burn sets to the ground. It's when a girl is leaving the next day or has a boyfriend. In this situation, he would have stopped pushing for it this night. He said it's a calibration issue; he's right, I just need more experience. I knew enough to stop at one point and while I should have stopped sooner, I don't think I ruined it.
She likes me too much:
It's funny how that works. This girl is really into me and that's part of why she wants to take things slow. When I first started pickup, I always wanted to create serious connection and attraction but it's detrimental to the quick lay. 2j reminded me that it might take longer to hook up with girls when you're in this situation, but usually the sex will be better when it happens.
Anyways, I focused on pulling the whole summer. It's fine to change things up and possibly develop some sort of LTR or MLTR. I had a great time tonight. I miss having awesome conversation and having a connection with a girl. I'd like to cuddle with her and sleepover there.
Of course, a same night lay is fun too. I can see how eventually, finding emotional connections with girls is way more valuable than quick sex. My skill level isn't quite there, but I can see the path where SNL's and pull will be easy. I can see how it will always be hard to find a girl that has some of the other qualities that I look for in a girl such as intelligence, someone I can have deep conversations with or who shares my world view.
Somehow, I managed to do the right things with Math girl. 2j explained how he tries to build attraction through flirting, misinterpretation, and other means. I have a hard time making flirty texts, but I somehow managed to do it with one of her texts. I gave a flirty response that also made her envision us in a sexual situation and it worked as she typed and "LOL" and played along with it. Then I switched gears a bit and text some regular conversation before deciding to suggest we meet this week. She was about to go to bed but she told me she's usually busy during the week but has free time during the weekend.
I knew it was on when I didn't text her Tuesday. I was busy Wednesday and my Polish friend wanted to hang out with me for my birthday. We had lunch and then went to see a movie. When I came out of the movie, I saw I had a text from Math girl. I knew that was a good sign as at this early stage, girls don't often initiate texts. Many girls will respond and then I can occasionally set up a meet. When girls are texting me out of the blue, I know it's on.
We ended up setting up a meet for Thursday night.
I don't want this to be a one night thing:
That's a line I remember from when I first starting doing pickup. Girls often are afraid you'll disappear after you hook up with them, so saying that is a good way to make them more comfortable about hooking up with you. As Style said, there are light and dark sides of the game. Coming form the dark side, you say stuff like that and use other techniques so you can fuck a girl. I don't like to do that. I would only say that if I wanted more than just a SNL.
Math girl has been different than many of the girls I met this summer, at least thus far. We had great conversation from the beginning. I'm sure it helps that I was way more relaxed that my last day two, but it also helps that we seem to be compatible. I have cool stories, ect, but she kept up her end of the conversation. I enjoyed hearing her opinions on things and hearing her stories about her life.
When I told her later that I didn't want this to be a one night thing, I meant it.
Pushing too hard for the pull:
I don't want to go into the details of the night too much. We met for margaritas. We stayed there a long time and at no point was I getting the feeling that she wanted to leave. It was obvious we both wanted to keep the night going. I wanted to move things along so I suggested going for a walk. We stopped at this bar that was by the train and had a drink. We talked for a long time there and then I tried to go back to her place.
I told her we would just there and hang out. I suggested grabbing some liquor nearby. She initially agreed to the idea but then while waiting for the train and on the train ride, she changed her mind. When we got to her stop, she said we'd go to a bar near there as she wasn't ready to let me come home with her.
I think I kept pushing as I really knew part of her wanted it to happen. She had basically agreed for a moment to let me come over.
I think she couldn't fool herself. In her head, she had decided if she let me come over, she was going to have sex with me. Most girls figure that's what will happen, but they'll focus on the BS reason for going there and tell themselves the sex just happened. They will let it happen that way, but Math girl wanted to decide she was gonna have sex with me right then at the bar before she'd let me come over and she couldn't do it.
Again, she was definitely torn about it. She make comments about me sleeping over. She even said she had to get up early but she kept wanting to hang out. We probably could have hung out even longer but in the end I wanted to go. I wanted her to get some rest anyway instead of us just cuddling in the bar all night.
When to burn the set to the ground:
I decided near the end that I was done pushing for it. I felt like I was getting annoying. I also decided that I was happy with the evening. We were into each other, we had kissed multiple times. We were sitting on a couch in the bar in embrace the whole last hour. She made it clear she wanted to see me again and even hinted that we might hook up next week.
2j reminded me that sometimes you should burn sets to the ground. It's when a girl is leaving the next day or has a boyfriend. In this situation, he would have stopped pushing for it this night. He said it's a calibration issue; he's right, I just need more experience. I knew enough to stop at one point and while I should have stopped sooner, I don't think I ruined it.
She likes me too much:
It's funny how that works. This girl is really into me and that's part of why she wants to take things slow. When I first started pickup, I always wanted to create serious connection and attraction but it's detrimental to the quick lay. 2j reminded me that it might take longer to hook up with girls when you're in this situation, but usually the sex will be better when it happens.
Anyways, I focused on pulling the whole summer. It's fine to change things up and possibly develop some sort of LTR or MLTR. I had a great time tonight. I miss having awesome conversation and having a connection with a girl. I'd like to cuddle with her and sleepover there.
Of course, a same night lay is fun too. I can see how eventually, finding emotional connections with girls is way more valuable than quick sex. My skill level isn't quite there, but I can see the path where SNL's and pull will be easy. I can see how it will always be hard to find a girl that has some of the other qualities that I look for in a girl such as intelligence, someone I can have deep conversations with or who shares my world view.
Slow updates & 9/23 FR: Persitence can feel creepy & work too
I've been less enthusiastic about writing daily reports. I suppose part of that was my building frustration last week. Saturday and Tuesday were basically nights where I felt at the time that I didn't really learn anything. It felt like a waste of time, but I do believe that we grow from each night out so I know that was just negative feelings at the time. Another part of my problem is that I have been too focused on pickup this summer. I finally got to put in some serious effort into this, but my mind has been wanting to balance my life and I can finally say that I began that process this week.
Last Week's FR:
I mentioned in my Saturday report that I was gonna make a report about Friday. I wasn't going to bother to do so after I had neglected to write it last weekend, but it's relevant to the Day 2 I had Thursday night.
I had said that I was gonna focus more on taking numbers. I explained that the whole summer I wanted to work on pulling so I took few numbers. 2j showed me through his experiences that Day 2's are a good resource.
Escalated too quickly:
There was this set that 2j pointed out to me. I opened this black girl on the dance floor and immediately she was grinding me enthusiastically. I felt like I ended up escalating too fast as she ended up going to the bathroom. Later, I saw her with her friend and I stopped her again. She was into me, so maybe she really did have to go to the bathroom.
This time I escalated even faster and further even though my mind was telling me I was probably screwing it up and should work on isolating her and building verbal rapport instead. I was stimulating her pussy with my leg and I kissed her. I could tell I was overescalating and sure enough, just as I was pondering trying to move her for some verbal game, she went over to her friend.
2j had the friend hooked, so I was able to open my girl again. My girl was drunk. I realized it even more when I came up this time. I tried for the number close. She gave it to me but it ended up not being a valid number. She either screwed up entering it, which is possible, as she was drunk, or I had overescalated and/or she just didn't feel rapport with me since we never got to talk.
Number close 2:
This is the one that counted. We ran into Vinny and his friend who was visiting from out of town at Vinny's favorite place. Vinny was having a good time with this set. Trojan- and I opened the other girls. I hooked this brunette and was grinding with her. In retrospect, I should have stayed with her. I lost her briefly as she moved away with her other friend (not the one with Vinny). The other girl had blown out Trojan- and mine left with her. It had been on, and I should have gone back.
After that set, I saw this black girl, and of course, I decided to open her as I'm into them right now. This girl ended up being cool. I had opened her right around closing so the lights came on as we were still talking. I took the number close and as I went on a Day 2 with her. That report is coming up next.
Persistence can feel creepy but it can work too:
When we were working street sets, 2j and I would sometimes fail to stop the girls as they were walking by us. He'd tell me that the move is to walk with them and keep plowing. I never liked it because it has always felt creepy to me even thought I know it's the right way to do it.
Trojan- and I were walking by Crescendo when this 2-set walked by me. I tried to stop them by they walked by. Trojan- decided he wanted the set and kept walking by them. I stopped for the reasons I wrote in the last paragraph. I actually thought he was busting out but then I saw his target was still talking to him by her driver side door.
The friend was sitting in the passenger seat with the door open. I could tell she was getting bored. I came in and started talking to her. She had yelled something to her friend like, "Let's go." Trojan- had his target really hooked and was all up on her. I said, "Let them be. They look good together."
I just kept talking and did a little plowing. I was just trying to wing and not necessarily trying to pick her up. Sometimes, that's when your game can be best. Just with my eye contact and conversation skills, she started to get attracted to me. I remember her complimenting me and telling me that she can tell I'm smart.
A few minutes later, Trojan's girl got in the car. I knew I had to do something so I brought in the margarita bit. I had mentioned margaritas earlier. This time, I said, "We should get margaritas." She said, "It's too late, we're going home." I said, "It's closed now anyway. I mean some other time." She said, "I can give you my number."
Passing shit tests easily:
I gave her my phone. When you type in a number and then save it as a new contact, the number still stays on the screen unless you hit the end button. She opened my phone and saw the number. She said, "Is that a girl who's phone number you just got tonight? I want to know if you a poker 'player' (she said it to mean she was asking if I'm a player)."
I replied, "Yeah, a girl gave me her number. Just be confident in yourself and you'll do fine."
That was a frame control statement. She was trying to frame this as, "I'm not sure if I want to give you my number because you might be some player." I framed it as her saying, "I'm not sure if I want to give you my number because you might not call me since you got this other girl's number and I'm not sure if I'm better than her."
She put her number in and then she wanted to make sure I'd contact her. It was from an area code that's not in Chicago land area. As she was typing it in, she said, "I'm from X. It's my real number, I swear."
I text with her a bit this week. She works a lot and I got short responses like, "I just got off work." or "I'm at work."
I'll try to text her more and make something happen, but the 2nd number close was way better.
Last Week's FR:
I mentioned in my Saturday report that I was gonna make a report about Friday. I wasn't going to bother to do so after I had neglected to write it last weekend, but it's relevant to the Day 2 I had Thursday night.
I had said that I was gonna focus more on taking numbers. I explained that the whole summer I wanted to work on pulling so I took few numbers. 2j showed me through his experiences that Day 2's are a good resource.
Escalated too quickly:
There was this set that 2j pointed out to me. I opened this black girl on the dance floor and immediately she was grinding me enthusiastically. I felt like I ended up escalating too fast as she ended up going to the bathroom. Later, I saw her with her friend and I stopped her again. She was into me, so maybe she really did have to go to the bathroom.
This time I escalated even faster and further even though my mind was telling me I was probably screwing it up and should work on isolating her and building verbal rapport instead. I was stimulating her pussy with my leg and I kissed her. I could tell I was overescalating and sure enough, just as I was pondering trying to move her for some verbal game, she went over to her friend.
2j had the friend hooked, so I was able to open my girl again. My girl was drunk. I realized it even more when I came up this time. I tried for the number close. She gave it to me but it ended up not being a valid number. She either screwed up entering it, which is possible, as she was drunk, or I had overescalated and/or she just didn't feel rapport with me since we never got to talk.
Number close 2:
This is the one that counted. We ran into Vinny and his friend who was visiting from out of town at Vinny's favorite place. Vinny was having a good time with this set. Trojan- and I opened the other girls. I hooked this brunette and was grinding with her. In retrospect, I should have stayed with her. I lost her briefly as she moved away with her other friend (not the one with Vinny). The other girl had blown out Trojan- and mine left with her. It had been on, and I should have gone back.
After that set, I saw this black girl, and of course, I decided to open her as I'm into them right now. This girl ended up being cool. I had opened her right around closing so the lights came on as we were still talking. I took the number close and as I went on a Day 2 with her. That report is coming up next.
Persistence can feel creepy but it can work too:
When we were working street sets, 2j and I would sometimes fail to stop the girls as they were walking by us. He'd tell me that the move is to walk with them and keep plowing. I never liked it because it has always felt creepy to me even thought I know it's the right way to do it.
Trojan- and I were walking by Crescendo when this 2-set walked by me. I tried to stop them by they walked by. Trojan- decided he wanted the set and kept walking by them. I stopped for the reasons I wrote in the last paragraph. I actually thought he was busting out but then I saw his target was still talking to him by her driver side door.
The friend was sitting in the passenger seat with the door open. I could tell she was getting bored. I came in and started talking to her. She had yelled something to her friend like, "Let's go." Trojan- had his target really hooked and was all up on her. I said, "Let them be. They look good together."
I just kept talking and did a little plowing. I was just trying to wing and not necessarily trying to pick her up. Sometimes, that's when your game can be best. Just with my eye contact and conversation skills, she started to get attracted to me. I remember her complimenting me and telling me that she can tell I'm smart.
A few minutes later, Trojan's girl got in the car. I knew I had to do something so I brought in the margarita bit. I had mentioned margaritas earlier. This time, I said, "We should get margaritas." She said, "It's too late, we're going home." I said, "It's closed now anyway. I mean some other time." She said, "I can give you my number."
Passing shit tests easily:
I gave her my phone. When you type in a number and then save it as a new contact, the number still stays on the screen unless you hit the end button. She opened my phone and saw the number. She said, "Is that a girl who's phone number you just got tonight? I want to know if you a poker 'player' (she said it to mean she was asking if I'm a player)."
I replied, "Yeah, a girl gave me her number. Just be confident in yourself and you'll do fine."
That was a frame control statement. She was trying to frame this as, "I'm not sure if I want to give you my number because you might be some player." I framed it as her saying, "I'm not sure if I want to give you my number because you might not call me since you got this other girl's number and I'm not sure if I'm better than her."
She put her number in and then she wanted to make sure I'd contact her. It was from an area code that's not in Chicago land area. As she was typing it in, she said, "I'm from X. It's my real number, I swear."
I text with her a bit this week. She works a lot and I got short responses like, "I just got off work." or "I'm at work."
I'll try to text her more and make something happen, but the 2nd number close was way better.
Tues frustration due to too high expectations
2j called it Tuesday when I was ranting during the car ride home that it sounded like my frustration had been building over the last few sessions. There were some other pressures that probably influenced my frustration, but a big part of it was I made too high expectations for the evening. The venues have been slower, especially on weekends due to summer being over. Joe's on Weed Street is a lot slower, especially early on. It gets busy around midnight, but we usually run through the sets by there since we force ourselves to get there by 9pm for the discounted cover.
The night wasn't horrible. We opened a bunch of sets. The sets didn't really go anywhere. There were one or two sets where we maybe should have plowed a bit longer. We found it ironic that Vinny, the natural, was the one staying in sets and we were ejected.
We actually had a good discussion concerning plowing. I remember the old PUA adage of staying in sets until the girl leaves or tells you to go away. I've been struggling with that concept because I feel like yes, you should plow, especially early on, but many times sets don't feel like they are going anywhere and we'll leave.
On Friday, I saw a post on rsdnation about this very subject which shed some light on I how should calibrate it. What I wrote above is for newbies. Newbies often come with limiting beliefs so forcing themselves to plow teaches that you can plow, it teaches you to become comfortable dealing with social pressure, and it gives you more experience being in set. For more advanced guys, Tyler made a post that said, "When that anime sparkle in her eyes is gone, that's when you should back off."
It turns out that this is what we've been doing. I will admit that sometimes we eject too soon and I will continue to work on not doing that. When a set isn't going anywhere and my calibration is telling me that strongly, I should leave the set.
The night wasn't horrible. We opened a bunch of sets. The sets didn't really go anywhere. There were one or two sets where we maybe should have plowed a bit longer. We found it ironic that Vinny, the natural, was the one staying in sets and we were ejected.
We actually had a good discussion concerning plowing. I remember the old PUA adage of staying in sets until the girl leaves or tells you to go away. I've been struggling with that concept because I feel like yes, you should plow, especially early on, but many times sets don't feel like they are going anywhere and we'll leave.
On Friday, I saw a post on rsdnation about this very subject which shed some light on I how should calibrate it. What I wrote above is for newbies. Newbies often come with limiting beliefs so forcing themselves to plow teaches that you can plow, it teaches you to become comfortable dealing with social pressure, and it gives you more experience being in set. For more advanced guys, Tyler made a post that said, "When that anime sparkle in her eyes is gone, that's when you should back off."
It turns out that this is what we've been doing. I will admit that sometimes we eject too soon and I will continue to work on not doing that. When a set isn't going anywhere and my calibration is telling me that strongly, I should leave the set.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Anger leads to motivation
I'm a bit of a dork. I've been watching Star Wars as the whole series just came out on blue ray. The Jedi say that anger leads to the dark side. I find that anger motivates me. I remember when I lost that girl to some guys at Sangria back in April. I got so motivated to learn to deal with AMOG's. I put myself in some uncomfortable situations and I really refined my skills.
This time, I'm angry about how I conducted myself Saturday. In this game of sarging, the worst feeling is "What if?" I'm sure I've mentioned the old sports cliche before that I feel applies to sarging, "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you played the game."
I love this clip from "We Are Marshall." Unfortunately, embedding is disabled so I can only show the link:
http://youtu.be/IEL8PYu4RR4
Lay it on the line until the final whistle blows, and if you do that... if you that... you cannot lose. We may behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game, but if you play like that, we cannot be defeated.
If I put my best effort in, and I don't get the girl or I get rejected, then I can be happy with myself. Tonight, I'm left wondering what might have been. That blonde was cute and my type. I had her hooked. She had just moved to Chicago. That means she's more likely to be open to coming out with me. She doesn't know the city that well so I offer value with all the restaurants, clubs, deals, etc that I know. She's single and just starting over. I thought that guy might have been with her, but it became obvious at the end that he was just an orbiter that made things uncomfortable trying to kiss her.
I could have had a good time with her if I just put in the full effort. If I had and I got rejected, again, that would have been fine.
I'll remember this the next time I'm choding around or giving a half effort. I feel like I will be motivated when I go out on Tuesday.
As I said, anger fuels me. I get motivated and I should take that from this crappy night and do better.
This time, I'm angry about how I conducted myself Saturday. In this game of sarging, the worst feeling is "What if?" I'm sure I've mentioned the old sports cliche before that I feel applies to sarging, "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you played the game."
I love this clip from "We Are Marshall." Unfortunately, embedding is disabled so I can only show the link:
http://youtu.be/IEL8PYu4RR4
Lay it on the line until the final whistle blows, and if you do that... if you that... you cannot lose. We may behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game, but if you play like that, we cannot be defeated.
If I put my best effort in, and I don't get the girl or I get rejected, then I can be happy with myself. Tonight, I'm left wondering what might have been. That blonde was cute and my type. I had her hooked. She had just moved to Chicago. That means she's more likely to be open to coming out with me. She doesn't know the city that well so I offer value with all the restaurants, clubs, deals, etc that I know. She's single and just starting over. I thought that guy might have been with her, but it became obvious at the end that he was just an orbiter that made things uncomfortable trying to kiss her.
I could have had a good time with her if I just put in the full effort. If I had and I got rejected, again, that would have been fine.
I'll remember this the next time I'm choding around or giving a half effort. I feel like I will be motivated when I go out on Tuesday.
As I said, anger fuels me. I get motivated and I should take that from this crappy night and do better.
Sat: Obliterated at Euro Club & Self-doubt
I don't really want to write this report. I didn't even write a Friday report and that was a decent night. If I were a QB, tonight could be described as one of those multiple interception nights where you just got sacked and hit nonstop. To top things off, the two good drives that could have been scores were held back by self-doubt.
A bunch of us met up to watch the Rampage-Jones fight and to celebrate my birthday which is next week. 2j and I then went to the club downstairs which is an Eastern European club. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said all the girls in the place were hot. It was an intimidating place to warm up. There was only one set when we walked in and we stalled and stalled. A good lesson here is that it reminds me never to stall like that. I felt better after I finally forced myself to open and I think the stalling, more than anything, created a bad head space.
The crazy responses I got didn't help. I knew I was out of state and still warming up, but I got some really strange responses. I'm used to getting blown out, but these girls weren't ready to be approached this early or something. Two girls jumped backed when I opened them. Thinking back, I should have joked about it and moved back a bit to ease them. 2j explained that since it was early, everyone was still sober and no one looked like they were having fun. We were the only guys approaching so the girls weren't ready for it. I said that if we were to do that club again, I think we'd talk to guys at first and just got out on the dance floor. After establishing ourselves as party guys, we'd bring the party to the sets.
Tall blonde:
The best set was this tall blonde I opened in Lion Head. I actually survived the horrible sets at the euro club and did okay initially at Lion Head. I hooked this blonde and she seemed like a promising lead as she had just moved to Chicago two weeks ago. We were having a good conversation and suddenly this guy she knew came and pulled her to the bar. I'll give him credit for his method: he just came up, grabbed her and said, "Let's get shots."
I actually planned to open her again and I opened some sets while waiting. I think the move was to try to isolate her upstairs to the dance floor. It probably wouldn't have worked, but I was thinking about moving her when the guy did that.
Here is where the night started to go downhill.
Self-doubt:
I opened several other sets and 1-2 were decent. I just didn't feel confident today for whatever reason. My stomach hurt a bit and I felt tired and thirsty, but I should be able to deal with that. The guy moved my girl and this other blonde upstairs. I saw them dancing, and I actually saw the guy try to kiss her. I think he was a friend that made things awkward because she didn't like the kiss. She turned her cheek and it looked awkward. He had put his arm around her earlier downstairs but when I saw them later in the night, they were sitting next to each other with the group of friends but the chairs were farther apart.
Ordinarily, I'd have confidently opened her again. I ended up stalling and opening sets around her. I opened this blonde who was incoherent and looked like she was about to fall asleep on her table. As I'm talking, the tall blonde comes by. She was calling out to her friend. I asked if it was the drunk girl and she pointed to some girl at the bar.
I give myself some credit for plowing here. I pretending like I hadn't seen her upstairs. I said, "Hey, it's you. You're still down here? You should come upstairs."
It's funny what I do when I'm not in a good state. In the euro club, I forced myself to approach, though I probably didn't do it with a full effort. Here, I had a chance to open her so I plowed. Instead of running it solidly by hooking her again and then trying for the pull, I just tried to ask her to come upstairs and dance.
Her response was interesting, "I was upstairs earlier and already got in trouble."
I could have replied, "Well, you'd only get in good trouble with me" or something like that. Instead, I just let the set end.
Talk louder:
Trojan- always bugs me to talk louder. Usually, I should talk a little louder, but it doesn't make a difference. Today, I just could talk loud enough. I'm sure that hurt me. Almost every set was telling me that they couldn't hear me.
Give me your number:
2j went home early as he had been sick all week and felt like shit. This Asian PUA I met happened to be coming out so at least I had a wing for the rest of the night. I tried to push 2j to stay but I really should be fine doing stuff myself. The Asian PUA and I opened some sets. He opens a lot, so I could have let him do the work. Strangely, I wanted to open more when I saw him hesitate for a second.
I had some decent sets but my game was off. Again, I just wasn't feeling confident. That is key. I should have believed. When I believe, good things happen.
At the end of the night, there was this short black girl and this tall pale girl walking down the sidewalk. It was an interesting combination because both girls were the type I'm into right now. I guess I really want to hook up with a black girl cause I chose her as my target. The pale girl was cuter and I probably should have worked her.
The Asian PUA was talking to his friend. He wasn't coming to wing so I just yelled for him and pointed at the tall girl. She giggled. He did a good job of holding her. We probably could have venue changed the girls if I pushed for it. My wing suggested them coming for food and they seemed like they might be interested. He suggested Domino's. My girl didn't like that. I probably could have oversold the Mexican place or pizza place but I held myself back. I could have tried to push a venue change as they were asking what we were doing.
Wow, I really sucked tonight...
I just realized how I kept passing up opportunities tonight. It's like I decided I was having a shitty night early on and I wanted to keep viewing it from that frame. On a regular night, we would have venue changed the girls. I could see the moves, but I just didn't take them. I remember how I felt as it was unfolding. Part of me was telling myself to oversell food or another venue, and I just sat there not wanting to make it happen. Weird inner game issues tonight...
Anyway, I talked about margaritas. I've been using that as a closing sequence the last two night. She liked margaritas so I tried to number close. She said, "No, give me your number."
Me: Naw, give me yours.
Her: Give me yours.
Me: No, forget it.
The thing is that I know it's 98% likely that she's not gonna contact me so I didn't want to waste my time. As it goes in this game, that I didn't want to give it made her want to take it more. I said something like, "Don't worry, I'll call you." I was trying to frame it like she was afraid I wasn't gonna bother calling her. Then she said that she has a boyfriend so she wanted to do it this way. I said, "I know you're not gonna call."
She pushed for it, so I gave her the number. I know she won't call, but that's an example some old pickup theory.
A bunch of us met up to watch the Rampage-Jones fight and to celebrate my birthday which is next week. 2j and I then went to the club downstairs which is an Eastern European club. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said all the girls in the place were hot. It was an intimidating place to warm up. There was only one set when we walked in and we stalled and stalled. A good lesson here is that it reminds me never to stall like that. I felt better after I finally forced myself to open and I think the stalling, more than anything, created a bad head space.
The crazy responses I got didn't help. I knew I was out of state and still warming up, but I got some really strange responses. I'm used to getting blown out, but these girls weren't ready to be approached this early or something. Two girls jumped backed when I opened them. Thinking back, I should have joked about it and moved back a bit to ease them. 2j explained that since it was early, everyone was still sober and no one looked like they were having fun. We were the only guys approaching so the girls weren't ready for it. I said that if we were to do that club again, I think we'd talk to guys at first and just got out on the dance floor. After establishing ourselves as party guys, we'd bring the party to the sets.
Tall blonde:
The best set was this tall blonde I opened in Lion Head. I actually survived the horrible sets at the euro club and did okay initially at Lion Head. I hooked this blonde and she seemed like a promising lead as she had just moved to Chicago two weeks ago. We were having a good conversation and suddenly this guy she knew came and pulled her to the bar. I'll give him credit for his method: he just came up, grabbed her and said, "Let's get shots."
I actually planned to open her again and I opened some sets while waiting. I think the move was to try to isolate her upstairs to the dance floor. It probably wouldn't have worked, but I was thinking about moving her when the guy did that.
Here is where the night started to go downhill.
Self-doubt:
I opened several other sets and 1-2 were decent. I just didn't feel confident today for whatever reason. My stomach hurt a bit and I felt tired and thirsty, but I should be able to deal with that. The guy moved my girl and this other blonde upstairs. I saw them dancing, and I actually saw the guy try to kiss her. I think he was a friend that made things awkward because she didn't like the kiss. She turned her cheek and it looked awkward. He had put his arm around her earlier downstairs but when I saw them later in the night, they were sitting next to each other with the group of friends but the chairs were farther apart.
Ordinarily, I'd have confidently opened her again. I ended up stalling and opening sets around her. I opened this blonde who was incoherent and looked like she was about to fall asleep on her table. As I'm talking, the tall blonde comes by. She was calling out to her friend. I asked if it was the drunk girl and she pointed to some girl at the bar.
I give myself some credit for plowing here. I pretending like I hadn't seen her upstairs. I said, "Hey, it's you. You're still down here? You should come upstairs."
It's funny what I do when I'm not in a good state. In the euro club, I forced myself to approach, though I probably didn't do it with a full effort. Here, I had a chance to open her so I plowed. Instead of running it solidly by hooking her again and then trying for the pull, I just tried to ask her to come upstairs and dance.
Her response was interesting, "I was upstairs earlier and already got in trouble."
I could have replied, "Well, you'd only get in good trouble with me" or something like that. Instead, I just let the set end.
Talk louder:
Trojan- always bugs me to talk louder. Usually, I should talk a little louder, but it doesn't make a difference. Today, I just could talk loud enough. I'm sure that hurt me. Almost every set was telling me that they couldn't hear me.
Give me your number:
2j went home early as he had been sick all week and felt like shit. This Asian PUA I met happened to be coming out so at least I had a wing for the rest of the night. I tried to push 2j to stay but I really should be fine doing stuff myself. The Asian PUA and I opened some sets. He opens a lot, so I could have let him do the work. Strangely, I wanted to open more when I saw him hesitate for a second.
I had some decent sets but my game was off. Again, I just wasn't feeling confident. That is key. I should have believed. When I believe, good things happen.
At the end of the night, there was this short black girl and this tall pale girl walking down the sidewalk. It was an interesting combination because both girls were the type I'm into right now. I guess I really want to hook up with a black girl cause I chose her as my target. The pale girl was cuter and I probably should have worked her.
The Asian PUA was talking to his friend. He wasn't coming to wing so I just yelled for him and pointed at the tall girl. She giggled. He did a good job of holding her. We probably could have venue changed the girls if I pushed for it. My wing suggested them coming for food and they seemed like they might be interested. He suggested Domino's. My girl didn't like that. I probably could have oversold the Mexican place or pizza place but I held myself back. I could have tried to push a venue change as they were asking what we were doing.
Wow, I really sucked tonight...
I just realized how I kept passing up opportunities tonight. It's like I decided I was having a shitty night early on and I wanted to keep viewing it from that frame. On a regular night, we would have venue changed the girls. I could see the moves, but I just didn't take them. I remember how I felt as it was unfolding. Part of me was telling myself to oversell food or another venue, and I just sat there not wanting to make it happen. Weird inner game issues tonight...
Anyway, I talked about margaritas. I've been using that as a closing sequence the last two night. She liked margaritas so I tried to number close. She said, "No, give me your number."
Me: Naw, give me yours.
Her: Give me yours.
Me: No, forget it.
The thing is that I know it's 98% likely that she's not gonna contact me so I didn't want to waste my time. As it goes in this game, that I didn't want to give it made her want to take it more. I said something like, "Don't worry, I'll call you." I was trying to frame it like she was afraid I wasn't gonna bother calling her. Then she said that she has a boyfriend so she wanted to do it this way. I said, "I know you're not gonna call."
She pushed for it, so I gave her the number. I know she won't call, but that's an example some old pickup theory.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Time to follow a game plan
Thursday night, there wasn't much to report. 2j couldn't get into The Apartment. Apparently they remodeled the upstairs and were being strict about dress code for upstairs. I opened the one decent looking set in the Lion Head area. We planned to get to Spy bar by 1am. We drove by Duffy's (it looked dead and I couldn't find parking) and stopped by Durkin's. Durkin's was busy but there weren't that many sets. I opened this 2-set of black girls. I tried number closing one but nothing happened. When we got to Spy Bar, they tried to charge us cover. They said there was some special DJ there that night so we needed to get there by midnight to get in free. We ended the night at Leg Room. All of Division was dead and we ran through the sets in Leg Room in about ten minutes.
The night was a bust, then, but I did learn something about what I need to fix in my game. I watched the Tyler video below before I went out. I feel that the first part really describes my game. I've mentioned before that I've been aware that I play to not lose too often. I feel like he's describing me when he says guys often just try to "hold the set" instead of trying to push it towards the lay. 2j and I talked in the car for awhile and I realized that I have been dicking around with my number closes.
Yes, I pushed some of the number closes, but in August and September, I really didn't do much with the numbers. I made all kinds of excuses. When we were going out every day, I literally didn't have time to really work the numbers. Then I complained that I didn't want to go out for certain Day 2's cause I was afraid I'd get stuck paying for a dinner and then not get anything. I also realized that I text certain girls and they responded, yet I never really pushed to meet up. I think part of it was I was busy trying to go out every night and practicing pulling, but part of me was protecting myself by not really trying.
2j gets most of his lays from Day 2's and he's been having steady success lately with that. I always thought he had some fancy text game. He does flirt with them a bit sometimes but he says it's mostly basic. He said he could tell I was doing something wrong with the numbers cause with the amount we were going out, by sheer random probability, one should be able to get Day 2's out. I then realized that I used to get more Day 2's when my game was worse. It was then that I had to admit what I wrote in the paragraph above. For a variety of reasons, I didn't take that many numbers, and I also didn't really push the numbers to meet up.
Action plan:
As Tyler says in the video, it's time that I stopped going out to practice and started trying to get laid. Again, this isn't an entirely new concept. I made the breakthrough a few weeks ago where I realize that I half ass many if not most of the sets in the night. If I'm gonna spend time going out, I need to do things right. Now, I have a clearer idea of what I need to focus on.
I still want to work on SNL's. Going home with a girl the same night is such a fun experience. I always say that I love when I wind up in a new apartment of a girl I just met. If I'm gonna make that happen more often, that I need to run solid game. I can open sets hard and get girls really into me. I realize that after that, I would just try to "hold the set" as Tyler describes. If I wanna pull, I need to lead the girl around the club so I get her used to following my lead, and so she gets that illusion that she knows me longer than she does (the old Mystery Method of creating more memories of the girl with you in different locations).
I remember when I made a conscious effort to lead that one black girl from Iowa. Surprise, that set went well. Too often, I just stand in the same spot. At least I'll try to escalate, but I need to move her around the club.
Logistics & Numbers:
Sometimes, you have to take numbers. This goes along with something I need to do more in my sets as well. I need to screen the girls for logistics. I know this concept, but I don't ask the girl the right questions. I know 2j does this as he'll usually know the girls situation. I need to find out where the girl lives, who she came with, who drove, where she's staying, etc. I can also throw in RSD Brad's, "What are you doing later?" I need to figure out if the logistics are even there for a pull. Sometimes, it's not there: for example, she's in a bachelorette party and she drove, or she's with her brother and staying at his place. If the logistics for pulling are not there, I should try to get a number close. If it might be there, I can take a phone number, but I should be focused on moving her around the club and escalating.
When I take numbers, I have to text them the next day. If I get in on Friday, I can wait till Sunday. I need to try to set up a Day 2 within a week. No more dicking around telling myself that maybe I can get a better text exchange going before I try to set up the Day 2. I need to figure out something we want to do (get margaritas, get thai food, etc), and find out what her schedule is and plan to do it.
Flakes:
Flakes are part of the game. Since I keep sarging girls in the city, it's really annoying because I'll go out to the city and end up with a flake and now I wasted all that time. I need to make this work with my schedule. I like to go out and cold approach on certain days and I used to not like to set up Day 2's on those days. I think now that I'm better off setting up a Day 2 on say Tues, Thurs, Fri, or Sat because if she flakes, then I can just go out and sarge as usual. I hate wasting good cold approach days with Day 2's but I should be trying to go on Day 2's more now instead of trying to sarge more.
Closing thoughts:
I'm actually gonna start taking more numbers. For awhile, I would rarely take a number because I told myself I was only gonna work on pulling. Manwhore has said that he got some of the hotties through Day 2's and not only from SNL's. I see that 2j's main method right now is Day 2's. Crazy beast mode sarging was fine, and I still wanna work on my SNL game, but I should go back to taking more numbers.
Beyond that, if I push for my goals in the ways I wrote above, I'm surely gonna get better results. My game has improved and some cool things have happened over the last few months, but I have to admit that I spent too much time spinning my wheels. I'll close by summarizing in Tyler's terms, "I need to focus on a plan to get laid instead of just going out and trying to hold sets."
The night was a bust, then, but I did learn something about what I need to fix in my game. I watched the Tyler video below before I went out. I feel that the first part really describes my game. I've mentioned before that I've been aware that I play to not lose too often. I feel like he's describing me when he says guys often just try to "hold the set" instead of trying to push it towards the lay. 2j and I talked in the car for awhile and I realized that I have been dicking around with my number closes.
Yes, I pushed some of the number closes, but in August and September, I really didn't do much with the numbers. I made all kinds of excuses. When we were going out every day, I literally didn't have time to really work the numbers. Then I complained that I didn't want to go out for certain Day 2's cause I was afraid I'd get stuck paying for a dinner and then not get anything. I also realized that I text certain girls and they responded, yet I never really pushed to meet up. I think part of it was I was busy trying to go out every night and practicing pulling, but part of me was protecting myself by not really trying.
2j gets most of his lays from Day 2's and he's been having steady success lately with that. I always thought he had some fancy text game. He does flirt with them a bit sometimes but he says it's mostly basic. He said he could tell I was doing something wrong with the numbers cause with the amount we were going out, by sheer random probability, one should be able to get Day 2's out. I then realized that I used to get more Day 2's when my game was worse. It was then that I had to admit what I wrote in the paragraph above. For a variety of reasons, I didn't take that many numbers, and I also didn't really push the numbers to meet up.
Action plan:
As Tyler says in the video, it's time that I stopped going out to practice and started trying to get laid. Again, this isn't an entirely new concept. I made the breakthrough a few weeks ago where I realize that I half ass many if not most of the sets in the night. If I'm gonna spend time going out, I need to do things right. Now, I have a clearer idea of what I need to focus on.
I still want to work on SNL's. Going home with a girl the same night is such a fun experience. I always say that I love when I wind up in a new apartment of a girl I just met. If I'm gonna make that happen more often, that I need to run solid game. I can open sets hard and get girls really into me. I realize that after that, I would just try to "hold the set" as Tyler describes. If I wanna pull, I need to lead the girl around the club so I get her used to following my lead, and so she gets that illusion that she knows me longer than she does (the old Mystery Method of creating more memories of the girl with you in different locations).
I remember when I made a conscious effort to lead that one black girl from Iowa. Surprise, that set went well. Too often, I just stand in the same spot. At least I'll try to escalate, but I need to move her around the club.
Logistics & Numbers:
Sometimes, you have to take numbers. This goes along with something I need to do more in my sets as well. I need to screen the girls for logistics. I know this concept, but I don't ask the girl the right questions. I know 2j does this as he'll usually know the girls situation. I need to find out where the girl lives, who she came with, who drove, where she's staying, etc. I can also throw in RSD Brad's, "What are you doing later?" I need to figure out if the logistics are even there for a pull. Sometimes, it's not there: for example, she's in a bachelorette party and she drove, or she's with her brother and staying at his place. If the logistics for pulling are not there, I should try to get a number close. If it might be there, I can take a phone number, but I should be focused on moving her around the club and escalating.
When I take numbers, I have to text them the next day. If I get in on Friday, I can wait till Sunday. I need to try to set up a Day 2 within a week. No more dicking around telling myself that maybe I can get a better text exchange going before I try to set up the Day 2. I need to figure out something we want to do (get margaritas, get thai food, etc), and find out what her schedule is and plan to do it.
Flakes:
Flakes are part of the game. Since I keep sarging girls in the city, it's really annoying because I'll go out to the city and end up with a flake and now I wasted all that time. I need to make this work with my schedule. I like to go out and cold approach on certain days and I used to not like to set up Day 2's on those days. I think now that I'm better off setting up a Day 2 on say Tues, Thurs, Fri, or Sat because if she flakes, then I can just go out and sarge as usual. I hate wasting good cold approach days with Day 2's but I should be trying to go on Day 2's more now instead of trying to sarge more.
Closing thoughts:
I'm actually gonna start taking more numbers. For awhile, I would rarely take a number because I told myself I was only gonna work on pulling. Manwhore has said that he got some of the hotties through Day 2's and not only from SNL's. I see that 2j's main method right now is Day 2's. Crazy beast mode sarging was fine, and I still wanna work on my SNL game, but I should go back to taking more numbers.
Beyond that, if I push for my goals in the ways I wrote above, I'm surely gonna get better results. My game has improved and some cool things have happened over the last few months, but I have to admit that I spent too much time spinning my wheels. I'll close by summarizing in Tyler's terms, "I need to focus on a plan to get laid instead of just going out and trying to hold sets."
Pirate Day Pub Crawl
The barone group in Chicago had a pub crawl on Monday, Sept 19 with a pirate theme. I thought they just made it up, but I heard the day mentioned on the radio that day, and I remember playing World of Warcraft last year and being able to turn into a pirate. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Talk_Like_a_Pirate_Day It's called International Talk like a Pirate Day. The Pub Crawl was for 3 hours and cost $15. It included domestic beers, some run punch, free food at each bar, and a trolley to hop among the bars. Every time I go, I get my money's worth.
Before the pub crawl, we stopped at this event for Southern Comfort promoting some new spicy spirit. The event was great and would have been good enough, but we wanted to hit the pub crawl so we left early. The event offered several free Southern Comfort drinks, free pizza, and there were hot server girls, and two girls in bikinis dancing at the bar. We warmed up on some late 20's set that we saw there.
The pub crawl was slow. The main set of the night was this mixed set we ran into that were all dressed up as pirates. Some of the bars gave pirate merchandise: I have an eyepatch and pirate hat that I'm going to recycle on Halloween. This group had their own outfits for the event. I was working on this short brunette. We ended up leaving and hopping to our last bar. The set showed up and I tried to sarge that girl. I was up on her and it was on for a bit but I probably was too drunk to make it happen.
The liquor really hit me as the pub crawl was ending. I remember 2j telling me that my game totally sucks when I'm really trashed. He said I have fun and am fun but I do too much me-it conversation. I'll talk to girls and just plow with material without responding to any of their feedback. I don't calibrate so I might as well be talking to a wall and the girls can sense that. 2j got a makeout from this mixed 4-set that we opened. I remember two guys and two girls were sitting in this booth. We approached and immediately, this one girl jumped up and was all up on 2j.
I'm lucky 2j pushed for us to get on the train. I had told him when I had to leave to be at Union Station in time. I made my train and got to Union Station. I couldn't find the right platform and had five minutes to go when I finally asked someone and realized I had to go to the other side. I ended up making the train and got home safely.
I'm glad I got home because I was totally trashed when I got home. I just laid in bed and fell asleep. I must have gotten home around 1:45am. I woke up at 3am and my head was spinning. I got water and had a hard time staying standing. I would have been miserable if I had been stuck out waint for a 5am or 5:30am train/bus ride to come home. I probably would have gotten kicked out of whatever after hours bar I went to for passing out.
Before the pub crawl, we stopped at this event for Southern Comfort promoting some new spicy spirit. The event was great and would have been good enough, but we wanted to hit the pub crawl so we left early. The event offered several free Southern Comfort drinks, free pizza, and there were hot server girls, and two girls in bikinis dancing at the bar. We warmed up on some late 20's set that we saw there.
The pub crawl was slow. The main set of the night was this mixed set we ran into that were all dressed up as pirates. Some of the bars gave pirate merchandise: I have an eyepatch and pirate hat that I'm going to recycle on Halloween. This group had their own outfits for the event. I was working on this short brunette. We ended up leaving and hopping to our last bar. The set showed up and I tried to sarge that girl. I was up on her and it was on for a bit but I probably was too drunk to make it happen.
The liquor really hit me as the pub crawl was ending. I remember 2j telling me that my game totally sucks when I'm really trashed. He said I have fun and am fun but I do too much me-it conversation. I'll talk to girls and just plow with material without responding to any of their feedback. I don't calibrate so I might as well be talking to a wall and the girls can sense that. 2j got a makeout from this mixed 4-set that we opened. I remember two guys and two girls were sitting in this booth. We approached and immediately, this one girl jumped up and was all up on 2j.
I'm lucky 2j pushed for us to get on the train. I had told him when I had to leave to be at Union Station in time. I made my train and got to Union Station. I couldn't find the right platform and had five minutes to go when I finally asked someone and realized I had to go to the other side. I ended up making the train and got home safely.
I'm glad I got home because I was totally trashed when I got home. I just laid in bed and fell asleep. I must have gotten home around 1:45am. I woke up at 3am and my head was spinning. I got water and had a hard time staying standing. I would have been miserable if I had been stuck out waint for a 5am or 5:30am train/bus ride to come home. I probably would have gotten kicked out of whatever after hours bar I went to for passing out.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Cockblock friend & More proof that looks don't matter
I started the night with 2j and his roommate. The roommate left early which is good because the guy can be annoying. He'll hover around and not talk to the girls in the set, or he'll decide to come in and talk to the girl 2j or I is talking rather than talking to the friends. 2j and I ran a bunch of solo sets but nothing really stuck. He started to lose energy around 2am. I tried to push him to go another half hour but then I decided it was just best to let him go. We both realized that if he stayed, he'd just do nothing anyway. I ended up meeting with Trojan- from the forums anyway.
The set of the night was this 2-set Trojan- and I worked on the street in Wrigley. One was this pale, thin brunette who was an inch or two taller than me. The friend was this older blonde (I say older now to mean probably around my age, early 30's) who was a little overweight. Apparently she told Trojan- she was married but I'm not sure if she was. I had my girl really hooked. She was comfortable with me being right up on her and with me holding both her hands. Conversation was good too. The blonde came and pulled her away. I tried plowing with the blonde but they walked away.
How can I believe in looks?
The one positive thing I can take out of the bullshit that happened is that I have even more evidence that looks don't mean shit. Well, I suppose they meant something to the blonde but to the girl I wanted, it made no difference. I opened some set and then about ten minutes later, I saw the girls down the street talking to three dudes. The guys they were talking to were tall and built. The blonde was close to one of the guys. The two guys were standing near to the brunette but way too far away to be picking her up. I just went right in and grabbed the brunette's hand. She said something like, "Oh, it's you again." I was right up on her and she was smiling.
The blonde got all pissed and started bitching at me. Thinking back, maybe I should have just tried to ignore her. The problem was the bitching was making my target uncomfortable and she moved away from me as this happened. The two guys just stood there talking to each other like chodes do. The one guy tried to take advantage of the situation. It's funny again because he's probably like 6 feet tall, buffed, and good looking, yet I'm the one the brunette wants and not him. On top of that, I owned him verbally too.
The blonde was talking shit, but then she tried to get the guy to get rid of me. She said, "This is her finance." I laughed cause I knew it was bullshit and I knew the brunette liked me. The guy tried to put his arm around the girl and looked awkward. I went to touch the dude but it looked awkward as he was turning as he did it. I talked some more and then put my arm on his shoulder in the condescending way I always do.
The set just pissed me off because ultimately there was nothing I could do with the blonde. I guess I wanted Trojan- to do more as well. He tried initially but he didn't offer me any assistance the second time even though he had been watching. Some of his advice helped in the past, but he gave me bullshit advice here. He tried telling me that he thinks I looked around at all of them too much and he thinks I want their approval. I told him that if he had actually been up close, he would have seen how much shit the blonde was giving me and how I did my best to plow through it.
Again, sometimes it's just bad luck. I needed the blonde to like Trojan- and/or like me. Instead, she hated me and I couldn't get anywhere with her cockblocking. I think maybe I should have just ignored her since winning her over wasn't working. As I said above, the bitching affected my target as she moved away. I needed to stay up on her and keep plowing with material over the blonde's bitching. If I kept the brunette engaged, the blonde's nonsense would have become background noise.
Lead more:
I opened these two chubby girls in front of Proof. I was attracted to this blonde who was probably around my age. She was drunk and high buying temperature and I was all up on her. Trojan- did a good job engaging the friend even though he wasn't attracted to her. My mistake came when I threw out, "Let me give you a ride home." She gave some objections like, "I just wanna go home and go to bed." I replied, "We'll just hang out for a bit." She ended up saying, "Where's your car?" I said, "It's two blocks that way (which it was)." She said, "I can't walk that far."
Now, her feet were killing her and she had taken her shoes off. That was not leading. I did a good job until I just dropped the line of conversation. When she said, "Where's your car?" I needed to grab her hand and use Jeffy's, "Sko' Sko'!" The friend might have tried to stop her, but at least I would have made the right move. I can tell I'm rusty with my pull technique again as that was way too weak. I don't give up when she's basically agreed to let me drive her home.
I didn't get much time as her friend came with the car. She had been telling me her friend was pulling up soon in this Jaguar. I tried to tell her, "Give me a ride too." She didn't say anything, but I suppose I could have been more aggressive her too. She went up to the car and got in the passenger seat. I should have opened the back door, guided her in, and then hopped in myself. The other friend, who had been talking to Trojan-, liked us, so she might have been cool with it. I guess I got thrown off a little cause the friend who was driving was bitching the moment my girl was near the car, "Fucking get in the car already!"
Ultimately, the pull might not have happened due to the logistics, but I made a bad screw up. The friends might have let me drive her home as they were older. 2j says it frequently and it's true, "Older girls cockblock less than the 21 year old girls." Still, I'm not gonna get a pull if I give up that easily (the girl saying, "It's too far, my feet hurt.") Yes, I'll get the easy ones where the girl makes it happen, but those are rare.
The set of the night was this 2-set Trojan- and I worked on the street in Wrigley. One was this pale, thin brunette who was an inch or two taller than me. The friend was this older blonde (I say older now to mean probably around my age, early 30's) who was a little overweight. Apparently she told Trojan- she was married but I'm not sure if she was. I had my girl really hooked. She was comfortable with me being right up on her and with me holding both her hands. Conversation was good too. The blonde came and pulled her away. I tried plowing with the blonde but they walked away.
How can I believe in looks?
The one positive thing I can take out of the bullshit that happened is that I have even more evidence that looks don't mean shit. Well, I suppose they meant something to the blonde but to the girl I wanted, it made no difference. I opened some set and then about ten minutes later, I saw the girls down the street talking to three dudes. The guys they were talking to were tall and built. The blonde was close to one of the guys. The two guys were standing near to the brunette but way too far away to be picking her up. I just went right in and grabbed the brunette's hand. She said something like, "Oh, it's you again." I was right up on her and she was smiling.
The blonde got all pissed and started bitching at me. Thinking back, maybe I should have just tried to ignore her. The problem was the bitching was making my target uncomfortable and she moved away from me as this happened. The two guys just stood there talking to each other like chodes do. The one guy tried to take advantage of the situation. It's funny again because he's probably like 6 feet tall, buffed, and good looking, yet I'm the one the brunette wants and not him. On top of that, I owned him verbally too.
The blonde was talking shit, but then she tried to get the guy to get rid of me. She said, "This is her finance." I laughed cause I knew it was bullshit and I knew the brunette liked me. The guy tried to put his arm around the girl and looked awkward. I went to touch the dude but it looked awkward as he was turning as he did it. I talked some more and then put my arm on his shoulder in the condescending way I always do.
The set just pissed me off because ultimately there was nothing I could do with the blonde. I guess I wanted Trojan- to do more as well. He tried initially but he didn't offer me any assistance the second time even though he had been watching. Some of his advice helped in the past, but he gave me bullshit advice here. He tried telling me that he thinks I looked around at all of them too much and he thinks I want their approval. I told him that if he had actually been up close, he would have seen how much shit the blonde was giving me and how I did my best to plow through it.
Again, sometimes it's just bad luck. I needed the blonde to like Trojan- and/or like me. Instead, she hated me and I couldn't get anywhere with her cockblocking. I think maybe I should have just ignored her since winning her over wasn't working. As I said above, the bitching affected my target as she moved away. I needed to stay up on her and keep plowing with material over the blonde's bitching. If I kept the brunette engaged, the blonde's nonsense would have become background noise.
Lead more:
I opened these two chubby girls in front of Proof. I was attracted to this blonde who was probably around my age. She was drunk and high buying temperature and I was all up on her. Trojan- did a good job engaging the friend even though he wasn't attracted to her. My mistake came when I threw out, "Let me give you a ride home." She gave some objections like, "I just wanna go home and go to bed." I replied, "We'll just hang out for a bit." She ended up saying, "Where's your car?" I said, "It's two blocks that way (which it was)." She said, "I can't walk that far."
Now, her feet were killing her and she had taken her shoes off. That was not leading. I did a good job until I just dropped the line of conversation. When she said, "Where's your car?" I needed to grab her hand and use Jeffy's, "Sko' Sko'!" The friend might have tried to stop her, but at least I would have made the right move. I can tell I'm rusty with my pull technique again as that was way too weak. I don't give up when she's basically agreed to let me drive her home.
I didn't get much time as her friend came with the car. She had been telling me her friend was pulling up soon in this Jaguar. I tried to tell her, "Give me a ride too." She didn't say anything, but I suppose I could have been more aggressive her too. She went up to the car and got in the passenger seat. I should have opened the back door, guided her in, and then hopped in myself. The other friend, who had been talking to Trojan-, liked us, so she might have been cool with it. I guess I got thrown off a little cause the friend who was driving was bitching the moment my girl was near the car, "Fucking get in the car already!"
Ultimately, the pull might not have happened due to the logistics, but I made a bad screw up. The friends might have let me drive her home as they were older. 2j says it frequently and it's true, "Older girls cockblock less than the 21 year old girls." Still, I'm not gonna get a pull if I give up that easily (the girl saying, "It's too far, my feet hurt.") Yes, I'll get the easy ones where the girl makes it happen, but those are rare.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Friday FR: Push sets more?
I get annoyed by how I don't have more success but I admit that my criteria for success is probably too high. As I've mentioned before, my mind likes to focus on my last pull being May 5, and somehow I ignore stuff like that crazy experience in the alley last Saturday or the near pulls I had over the last two months. Objectively, I have been doing better. Just about every night I massively hook at least 1-2 sets.
I'm trying to think about what I did wrong last night. The girl I hooked the most I had to settle for a number close. She was totally into me and I took her number. Suddenly, some guy she knew showed up and then she got all weird. She introduced me to the guy and then she just ran off. There was another girl I grinded with but nothing happened. The third set of interest was this set 2j and I opened. I showed this blonde the bathroom in the VIP area meaning I had mini isolation with her. I can say that I learned you can pull a set in there. She was drunk and walked in when the door unlocked and some dude was standing in there. He started to talk to her and I went in and put my arm around her to get rid of the dude. I see that a bathroom pull would work cause no staff said anything about more than one person being in the bathroom and in a pull, we wouldn't have the door open for a long time like in this situation.
I walked with that blonde back to her friend. 2j had left at this point. I started talking to this brunette who turned out to be married. She was my type though: she kept complimenting me, and I can't even believe this, but she mentioned the History Channel show "Ancient Aliens." I enjoy that show and can't believe I met a girl who liked it. The bad thing was that I started to ignore my blonde. I could tell she wanted my attention as she kept looking over and trying to say stuff. It looked like she wanted to feel better about herself so she started talking to some random dude who was standing near her. I kept talking to the married girl but then I busted out because I started asking her if she was sure she was happy with her marriage. She didn't want me to escalate but it was worth a shot. Thinking back, though, I should have went back to the blonde. Now I would have had the friend's approval and maybe I could have worked something with the blonde.
Stick in sets more:
I went through a stage where I persisted more. I mean that I kept going back into sets that ended for various reasons out of my control. Sometimes, you just lose the set for a dumb reason and you can go back and it will still be on. I notice I do this less now as I keep wanting to open more. This is a mistake. I could have gone back to the blonde and married brunette set. I could have tried again with that girl I was grinding with as I saw her alone several times later.
Drinking too much:
I find that I like drinking too much and perhaps I should go back to doing that less frequently. It's debatable though. My last real pull was when I was drunk on that Cinco De Mayo pub crawl. I also got two make outs when I was wasted after one of the free drink/food parties a few weeks ago. On the other hand, I was sober with that crazy black girl last Saturday. I was sober when I almost had that pull with that girl from Iowa. When I had my big breakthrough in Wrigley two weeks ago, I was sober as well.
Tonight, I'm gonna have one beer or two so I'll basically be sober so we'll see what happens. Honestly, it probably doesn't make a difference unless I'm really drunk. I do okay slightly drunk or sober.
I'm trying to think about what I did wrong last night. The girl I hooked the most I had to settle for a number close. She was totally into me and I took her number. Suddenly, some guy she knew showed up and then she got all weird. She introduced me to the guy and then she just ran off. There was another girl I grinded with but nothing happened. The third set of interest was this set 2j and I opened. I showed this blonde the bathroom in the VIP area meaning I had mini isolation with her. I can say that I learned you can pull a set in there. She was drunk and walked in when the door unlocked and some dude was standing in there. He started to talk to her and I went in and put my arm around her to get rid of the dude. I see that a bathroom pull would work cause no staff said anything about more than one person being in the bathroom and in a pull, we wouldn't have the door open for a long time like in this situation.
I walked with that blonde back to her friend. 2j had left at this point. I started talking to this brunette who turned out to be married. She was my type though: she kept complimenting me, and I can't even believe this, but she mentioned the History Channel show "Ancient Aliens." I enjoy that show and can't believe I met a girl who liked it. The bad thing was that I started to ignore my blonde. I could tell she wanted my attention as she kept looking over and trying to say stuff. It looked like she wanted to feel better about herself so she started talking to some random dude who was standing near her. I kept talking to the married girl but then I busted out because I started asking her if she was sure she was happy with her marriage. She didn't want me to escalate but it was worth a shot. Thinking back, though, I should have went back to the blonde. Now I would have had the friend's approval and maybe I could have worked something with the blonde.
Stick in sets more:
I went through a stage where I persisted more. I mean that I kept going back into sets that ended for various reasons out of my control. Sometimes, you just lose the set for a dumb reason and you can go back and it will still be on. I notice I do this less now as I keep wanting to open more. This is a mistake. I could have gone back to the blonde and married brunette set. I could have tried again with that girl I was grinding with as I saw her alone several times later.
Drinking too much:
I find that I like drinking too much and perhaps I should go back to doing that less frequently. It's debatable though. My last real pull was when I was drunk on that Cinco De Mayo pub crawl. I also got two make outs when I was wasted after one of the free drink/food parties a few weeks ago. On the other hand, I was sober with that crazy black girl last Saturday. I was sober when I almost had that pull with that girl from Iowa. When I had my big breakthrough in Wrigley two weeks ago, I was sober as well.
Tonight, I'm gonna have one beer or two so I'll basically be sober so we'll see what happens. Honestly, it probably doesn't make a difference unless I'm really drunk. I do okay slightly drunk or sober.
A canada goose took a shit on me
Some of the stuff that happens to me is truly comical. I take it very well too as I know last night most people would have let this stuff ruin their evening. I wanted to take the bus in so I could drink but to leave late, I have to walk 3 miles to take this Pace bus to the Blue line. I have to walk that back but I like it cause it burns extra calories.
I had taken the bus from the blue line but not from that stop the other way. Apparently the bus turns right and left at this intersection I was waiting near. I was about 100 ft at a stop where I thought the bus would turn. I missed the bus cause it turned left. It only cost me 20 minutes but that was annoying. Luckily, with internet on the phone, waiting doesn't really bother me because I can surf forums and stuff which is what I'd do at home anyway.
When I finally was waiting for the train, I looked down and saw I had canada goose poo on my left pant leg. I can't even figure out how that happens. I'm guessing I rubbed up against poo while I was waiting around. I didn't see any geese flying or walking around so I don't see how shit could have landed on me. I also don't remember leaning up against anything so who knows?
I wiped some of it off with the tissue I had in my pocket and some spit. It just looked like green grass stains and luckily this stuff doesn't even smell like anything. I worried I might not get into Sound Bar. I also wanted to stop at Mcdonald's to get a big soft drink since I had gotten thirsty from the walk and I wanted to try to wash out some poo.
I ended up making it on time and finishing my drinks. Oh, and I got in as well. It makes for a funny story I suppose.
I had taken the bus from the blue line but not from that stop the other way. Apparently the bus turns right and left at this intersection I was waiting near. I was about 100 ft at a stop where I thought the bus would turn. I missed the bus cause it turned left. It only cost me 20 minutes but that was annoying. Luckily, with internet on the phone, waiting doesn't really bother me because I can surf forums and stuff which is what I'd do at home anyway.
When I finally was waiting for the train, I looked down and saw I had canada goose poo on my left pant leg. I can't even figure out how that happens. I'm guessing I rubbed up against poo while I was waiting around. I didn't see any geese flying or walking around so I don't see how shit could have landed on me. I also don't remember leaning up against anything so who knows?
I wiped some of it off with the tissue I had in my pocket and some spit. It just looked like green grass stains and luckily this stuff doesn't even smell like anything. I worried I might not get into Sound Bar. I also wanted to stop at Mcdonald's to get a big soft drink since I had gotten thirsty from the walk and I wanted to try to wash out some poo.
I ended up making it on time and finishing my drinks. Oh, and I got in as well. It makes for a funny story I suppose.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Best responses from the two tall girls
Tonight I again got a variety of responses. I had some average looking girl go off on me and tell me go go away. I really do laugh when that happens now. I find it amusing that a girl can get that upset with me when I'm not even doing anything crazy. I think I asked that girl, "Fumas mota?" That means, "Do you smoke weed?" in Spanish. She got all pissed off and said I was rude. She told 2j that he was rude too for the way he came up.
On the other hand, my two best sets were with the two girls I found most attractive. The first was was this tall girl who said she was a 2nd Year Medical student at my old university. I should have number closed her. I opened her on the dance floor and we started dancing. She began asking me rapport questions right off the bat. Vinny was trying to help me with the four other friends. 2j didn't want to come in for some reason until I pulled him over. I told myself I was gonna open them later, but they ended up leaving. When I meet a cool girl like that, I should just take the number right away, especially when it's such a big set like that. The logistics were horrible for pulling so I should be number closing right away.
The second set was this tall girl that I found on the dance floor when we were doing our last round. I saw this 2-set: the tall girl and this short, chubby girl. They were dancing with each other and I was dancing next to them. I then decided to jump in between them and I moved close to my girl. That display of confidence hooked her. I remember she gave me that look when I did that and when I grabbed her hands, I could tell she liked me then. She was way more enthusiastic than I expected.
When I strongly hook girls that I really want, it still surprises me. I'm not surprised that they are attracted to me, but this girl was tall and cute and it surprised me how strongly I hooked her. I remember grabbing her hands and dancing with her, and within 5 seconds, she spun around so her back was facing me. She immediately pushed her ass right up onto me and started grinding. She was taller than me, so only the bottom of her ass was hitting my cock while most of her ass was rubbing against my stomach. Of course, I was instantly hard, and she grinded me even more when she noticed this.
2j was trying to wing me and I thought we finally had a really good set when I saw him dancing with the friend. I spun my girl around and pulled her into me. I was getting ready to escalate when I saw her friend start to move away from 2j and then she pulled my girl away too.
2j did put an effort in and sometimes the friend just doesn't like your wing. It's happened several times when I tried to wing him. I just wonder if he would have tried better if the girl had been attractive. At the same time, it's hard to run your best game when you're not really into a girl.
Thinking back, I probably should have went back into that set but we ended up leaving. 2j ran into some community guy we knew. This guy matched my enthusiasm for opening sets and I see why that attitude is inspiring. We hit several other spots but there were only 1-2 sets in the other areas we hit. We had some confrontation with some jealous orbiters in Lincoln Park. 2j and I disagreed on how to handle them. He likes the full ignore tactic and I like engaging them and verbally cutting them down or outmaneuvering them while keeping my party vibe going. We debated our methods but at the end I said that I think we could agree that each method works. Ignoring works better for 2j, and verbal amogging works better for me.
Tonight was fun then but the off days have really become slower now that summer is over. I feel like the best thing I gained today was I increased my feelings of entitlement when it comes to tall girls.
On the other hand, my two best sets were with the two girls I found most attractive. The first was was this tall girl who said she was a 2nd Year Medical student at my old university. I should have number closed her. I opened her on the dance floor and we started dancing. She began asking me rapport questions right off the bat. Vinny was trying to help me with the four other friends. 2j didn't want to come in for some reason until I pulled him over. I told myself I was gonna open them later, but they ended up leaving. When I meet a cool girl like that, I should just take the number right away, especially when it's such a big set like that. The logistics were horrible for pulling so I should be number closing right away.
The second set was this tall girl that I found on the dance floor when we were doing our last round. I saw this 2-set: the tall girl and this short, chubby girl. They were dancing with each other and I was dancing next to them. I then decided to jump in between them and I moved close to my girl. That display of confidence hooked her. I remember she gave me that look when I did that and when I grabbed her hands, I could tell she liked me then. She was way more enthusiastic than I expected.
When I strongly hook girls that I really want, it still surprises me. I'm not surprised that they are attracted to me, but this girl was tall and cute and it surprised me how strongly I hooked her. I remember grabbing her hands and dancing with her, and within 5 seconds, she spun around so her back was facing me. She immediately pushed her ass right up onto me and started grinding. She was taller than me, so only the bottom of her ass was hitting my cock while most of her ass was rubbing against my stomach. Of course, I was instantly hard, and she grinded me even more when she noticed this.
2j was trying to wing me and I thought we finally had a really good set when I saw him dancing with the friend. I spun my girl around and pulled her into me. I was getting ready to escalate when I saw her friend start to move away from 2j and then she pulled my girl away too.
2j did put an effort in and sometimes the friend just doesn't like your wing. It's happened several times when I tried to wing him. I just wonder if he would have tried better if the girl had been attractive. At the same time, it's hard to run your best game when you're not really into a girl.
Thinking back, I probably should have went back into that set but we ended up leaving. 2j ran into some community guy we knew. This guy matched my enthusiasm for opening sets and I see why that attitude is inspiring. We hit several other spots but there were only 1-2 sets in the other areas we hit. We had some confrontation with some jealous orbiters in Lincoln Park. 2j and I disagreed on how to handle them. He likes the full ignore tactic and I like engaging them and verbally cutting them down or outmaneuvering them while keeping my party vibe going. We debated our methods but at the end I said that I think we could agree that each method works. Ignoring works better for 2j, and verbal amogging works better for me.
Tonight was fun then but the off days have really become slower now that summer is over. I feel like the best thing I gained today was I increased my feelings of entitlement when it comes to tall girls.
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