Tuesday, October 18, 2011

FR Sat: Solo warmup leads to solid night

I had a good night Saturday and the only thing that I might have done better was to try to push one particular set to a pull despite likely bad logistics. I started out solo as I didn't hear from G, and all my RSD guys, including my main wing 2j, were at Hot Seat. I got to Wrigley and found a parking spot right away. I sat in the car for 10 minutes surfing the net on my phone and then I finally decided I wasn't gonna be stupid and sit there. I haven't done any solo gaming in a long time and I know that it would be good to push myself to do some. Besides, trying warm ups solo is way better than just sitting in the car waiting.

The first bar I walked into, I ended up standing around for 10 minutes doing nothing. When I don't take action for that long in a venue, I find it easier to just reboot myself by leaving and going somewhere new. I forced myself to open some sets immediately upon entering the second venue. After talking to two different sets, I found myself feeling good and excited about being out.

Quick kiss close:
In the 4th venue, I passed by this pale girl and just pulled her into me. From the way we maintained eye contact, I could just tell that it was on. Her situation was perfect too: she had just moved to Chicago a few weeks ago to start a new job. She hasn't really seen much of the city and sounded excited as I talked about all these interesting restaurants and other spots. She likes food and travel.

I asked her to sit down, and I could tell she wanted to kiss me. I was exercising what Tyler described in his "Physical Game" video. Instead of immediately going for the kiss, I just held the tension. As he describes in the video, the dynamic was different from times in the past when I knew or suspected the girl wanted to kiss me and I held back because I was afraid to do so. I finally kissed her briefly and of course, she wanted it. I pulled it back right away but we'd kiss 2 more times while talking there. Later, I remember there being a pause in the conversation. It was time to kiss and I just looked into her eyes, and she couldn't take the tension and leaned in to kiss me.

There was a break as I text 2j. He was meeting me but I hadn't responded since I was in the set so he was next door. I told him to come meet me here as my girl had several friends at the venue including this cute Asian girl. There was break here when 2j came and my girl went to talk to some other friends. She was in a big set of several college friends.

2j and I hung out at the venue for awhile. I kept asking him whether the move was to try to pull her or to just continue the night. It seemed like a solid Day 2 possibility. Ultimately, I decided to not push for the pull. The reasons that the pull seemed difficult are: she was in a big group of friends and they were all around 21-22 (these younger sets are less likely to let their friends be pulled, unlike late 20's+ girls who will often just let it happen). I would add that I threw out some feelers about grabbing food or hanging out after. She said she wasn't hungry and she said we could hang out again on another day. While those two responses were normal, they also indicated that this wasn't a situation where the girl was gonna make it super easy to be pulled.

On the other hand, part of me knows I need pulling practice. What stuck in my head too is that I went to the dance floor to tell her I was going to check out this other club. She must have thought I asked her to go to Barleycorn as she paused for a second to think about it and then said she should probably stay here with her friends. That pause means that I probably could have moved her around that bar, made out with, and then pushed her to go to the other club. If I got the veneu change and hung out with her till close, I might have gotten the pull to her place.

I settled for taking using the phone number (which I took shortly after I first kissed her) and trying to set up a Day 2.

Solid number close:
We were walking around the huge dance floor at the other venue. I had several sets that I just massively hooked. This one girl, I just walked by and pulled into me. It's amazing how when I'm in state (heck, I'd even say, this happens when I'm just not in a shitty state), I can just go up to girls at will and get strongly positive reactions. I'll pull the girl in and the eye contact will be strong and I can tell that at that initial opening, she wants me. Of course, it's easy to lose that feeling by doing something low value or other stuff happening. Still, it's something that I only began to experience regularly as my game really started improving at the end of summer.

I ended up number closing this one girl. I had asked her logistical questions. She was with a girl and a gay friend and she said they were going to Berlin (this gay club near by). I took her number because we had interesting conversation. She's interested in travel and international events. I text her and she's been responding more enthusiastically than the girl I actually kissed that night. Strange how that works.

No after hours:
As I mentioned, I had some other strong sets while I was out but nothing really materialized from them. I had definitely built momentum from the awesome Free Tour speech and from going out since Wednesday. 2j hates doing after hours nowadays. I could have gone out solo, but I was tired from having run 10 miles Saturday and from going out Wed-Sat so I was happy to call it a night. Besides, I had a good evening already.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Return of G and Inspiration

The Free Tour definitely motivated G. He came out to the Chicago Art District event late but he started strong. He had text me but I didn't notice the text and by the time we ran into him, he had already opened. I had to wait an hour until I opened. I'm always in beast mode at the bar or club but I still have a hard time in day game situations. After we met up with G, I saw him open and it made me want to open more.

I'll also add that G and I talked about committing to running the marathon next year. I plan on doing a holding pattern with my runs through winter. I've build up to where I'm running 5 milesx3 days a week and doing a long run. My long run has been at 8 miles but I decided to kick it up to 10 miles today. I still have to figure out how much indoor running I can handle. If I just run at least 20 miles a week during winter, though, I'll be in good shape to ramp up my training in Spring.

At the club, I got into two longer sets with 2j. Unfortunately, his roommate had decided to come out. The guy is okay, but he's a drag to 2j when we're out sarging. When it's just 2j and I, or if the extra people are community guys or naturals, 2j is usually in state and ready to hit sets hard. When his roommate comes out, he used it as an excuse to dick around doing nothing. Ideally, I should just run off and do my own things but there is a specific instance when I get annoyed. I told G and 2j I was opening this nearby set and I'd need a wing. I was in the set for awhile and nobody came. I ran over and grabbed 2j and bitched at him for dicking around. He came and winged and we had a long set.

I had this other long set that I maybe should have stayed in a bit longer. I had this short girl hooked. Vinny had come in to wing me but he disappeared a few minutes into the set and I could tell the friend was getting bored. I pulled 2j in and he talked but then just stood there. He tried and I know sometimes you just don't click with a girl. When that happens to me when I'm wining, I'll just steamroll them with stories or other material.

There were a few other sets I hooked really strongly at the beginning but to no avail.

Later, I did some quick street game near Division. I had some brutal bust outs as I really wasn't in state but was forcing myself to do the approaches. 2j tried to advice me on how to claw moving sets properly. I told him that the problem wasn't that I didn't know how to do it, the problem was that I really didn't want to open, but at the last second, I'd force myself and that's why I was doing it wrong.

Anyway, I can tell my game as built momentum from Wednesday-Friday, and I'm pushing myself harder after being inspired by the free tour. Tonight, I'm gonna try sober sarging and I'm going to continue to both push hard and try to enjoy myself.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Jeffy Free Tour Brings Out the Beast mode in me

2j and I went to the RSD free tour last night. I told several people about it and it was good to see some of them there. The event has massive value including what Tyler has called a "burst of in field video." I'm sure that was really valuable to G and Raw who aren't as familiar with the current RSD stuff. I had seen two of the videos before but there were several new ones. The talk was entertaining and humorous and inspirational as well. While I know most of the concepts already, hearing them again just made them resonate in my head better. I found myself nodding as I recognized how he describe some of the success barriers we have to tear down to improve and also nodding in a knowing way to some of the concepts as I know they've helped me get better results.

I felt inspired to really push myself to improve. I'm almost always in beast mode (meaning approaching without hesitation) at the club, but I've created an artificial barrier in my head when it comes to day game type situations. When we went out last night, I found I was pushing myself even harder. I even opened a set while we were waiting for the train to come to go to after hours.

Train Station shit test:

When we got up to the Fullerton platform, I saw four girls sitting around. While I normally would have wanted to open them and then said nothing, I opened them immediately. The leader girl started shit testing me right off the bat. Ironically, she tried messing with me in the one way that has never been able to stick on me, even back when I had low self esteem. I'm so grounded and chill now that even if she had tried to tool me on something that I might have had issues with more recently, it wouldn't have stuck. To use a Matrix analogy, what she did might be like some newbie trying to punch Neo. Neo could block the punch even back when he first sparring with Morpheus. That girl shit testing me would be like some newbie trying to punch the Neo from the end of the movie that realizes he's the one. She trying to punch the Neo who can block bullets and kill agents.

She basically tried to tell me I was stupid. She said something like, "You know, we're all smart girls. We're engineers."
I think I gave some generic response like, "You gain points for that." That's actually the truth though: I want a girl that's intelligent.
I forgot her exact words after this, but her tone of voice and her words basically were trying to put me in the frame of, "We're smart girls. You're stupid and not being even close to our level."

Again, this never would have stuck even back when I was a total chode. Yeah, if a professor or TA said that, it would have affected me I'm sure, but no random girl is gonna make that stick because the one strength I've always had in my book smarts.

My response to the further shit tests was I just busted out laughing. I just felt it was so ridiculous. I guess the difference between the old me and the new me is that the old me would have tried to qualify myself verbally.

Holding back from staying in set:
I was opening great at times. I remember opening this redhead 2-set and then the patting the seat next to her for me to sit down after about two sentences. I screwed this set up by getting frustrated that I had two wings nearby that weren't coming in. I knew afterward that I was being dumb and using that as an excuse. 2j and Trojan- had opened a set, but I couldn't see that. I thought they were just BSing with each other like they sometimes do instead of coming in. I didn't need their help. I wanted it because it makes things easier but I know how to run a 2-set. I should have just kept talking to the set. I sent one text to 2j which was fine. Where I lost the set is that I paused the conversation again and went to text Trojan- and their buying temp dropped enough to lose them.

The other problem we had early on was just bad luck with the girls 2j and I were clicking. I remember two different 2-sets where I had the one girl massively hooked but I could hear 2j's girl didn't like him. I remember at Kendall's I started to hear this girl starting to say, "This is girls night out. I'm trying to just talk to my friend." What I should have done was number close right there, or grabbed the friends attention and plowed her with material to stabilize the set. Instead, I just kept talking to my girl knowing that the friend was about to pull her away.

I can't blame 2j. That sometimes is just the way it is: not all girls are gonna like you or your wing(s). I went into a 3-set that 2j and Trojan- were working later on. I had the 3rd girl hooked but then I got busted out. I think that was the set where I brought up my cats and she hated cats, yet I kept talking about them. As I wing, I should have just changed the subject and just tried to talk friend-to-friend to hold her attention. Instead, I was in my normal set mode. Sometimes, I'll just keep talking about the cat because I love my cats and if she hates cat it turns me off anyway and I don't mind if the set ends. Another time, 2j and I were working a 2-set, and my girl just blew me out. Again, it happens.

Plan for tonight:

We're going to the art event and G seems like he's gonna come with which is great. I want to be in beast mode there. I usually make an approach or two at the art thing, but in beast mode, I should approach every set that I find attractive. We failed to take action with several hot girls last month. When we get to the club, I want to do more dance floor game. I also am gonna work on stopping moving sets properly. I was trying a lot of clawing moving girls last night and I realized as I was going to bed today that I was looking at their arms instead of locking and holding eye contact. I'm certain I just corrected what was screwed up with my moving set game.

More importantly, I'm going to work on staying in set while escalating and leading. Often I get too addicted to just opening and having fun when I should be working on the most efficient way to SNL or create a solid phone number set. I need to open well, figure out her logistics to see if pulling is possible, and if it is, I have to move her around the club and escalate and then try to pull.

I know you, from the lair...

There are two PUA lairs in the Chicago area. I should actually join one as both groups organize free PUA talks throughout the year. While I'm sure the talks are not as polished as the RSD free tour, I'm equally sure that they have inspirational value. That being said, I probably have avoided joining because Herschey used to invite these guys he met through the lair. The guys he invited out were all guys that stood around and did nothing. 2j says that many of the lair guys are creepy. Of course, there are cool guys in the lair as well. Occasionally, with Herschey in the past, we've run into some of the guys randomly and I've met 2-3 really cool guys.

Yesterday, I had a reminder experience about the creep factor of lair guys. 2j and I were out sarging in Lincoln Park. 2j said there was a lair event out, and of course so were a bunch of people from the RSD free tour, and we actually saw the Tyler boot camp out as well. I opened this 2-set on the dance floor using pure dance floor moves. The one girl seemed into me, but the other girl busted me out. Some dude saw me and he stopped me as I walked by.

Guy: (Some gibberish I couldn't hear.)
Me: Huh?
Guy: I know you.
Me: ?
Guy: I know you from lair.
Me: I was at the RSD free tour.
Guy: No the lair.
Me: (2j was next to me so I figured this guy might have recognized 2j). I'm not in the lair, but he is. This is 2j.

2j talked to him for a few seconds. 2j immediately told me how weird and creepy the guy was. He said he didn't know him and also that the guy said he wanted to watch follow us and watch us sarge.

On the one hand, I sympathize with chodes/AFC's as I was a massive one myself. I always truthfully say that I often started at a level well below many of these awkward newbies that I know or have met. This was just a reminder of why I've been avoiding the lair. I know the guy just wanted to find wings or improve his game, but as this point I'm not gonna waste my time. I have great wings already and I don't feel the desire to train up someone unless I think they are cool or offer some sort of value. This guy just felt like a value sucking leech.

The solution, of course, is that I should just join the lair and go with 2j to the events and just blow off all the creepers.

Tyler actually made a good free tour post about lairs. Below is his video "Tyler Dishes Dirt on PUA Lairs." He explains what a newbie should do if he wants to meet the best people in the lairs.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Positivity is back despite blowouts on hard mode

We dropped off Jeffy, and then 2j, Jeffy's assistant (I forgot his screen name), and I went out to Crescendo and Spy Bar. I paid the price for not having gone out since Saturday. I didn't feel any approach anxiety and I opened the first set that we came upon. I just wasn't completely in the zone, but it didn't stop me from trying.

Hitting those places with real warm up or momentum was like jumping right into an NFL playoff game with the regular season. I guess it would be like playing one game before the playoff game. I had a Day2 with this girl I met back in April. I don't even know if it counts as a Day 2. We're just friends and I don't even really want more than that and I don't think she does either. It was her birthday party that 2j and I stopped by a few weeks ago. Thanks to her, I started the night drinking free Amstel Lights at this happy hour event. I had to limit myself since I knew I was picking up Jeffy afterward. I planned this last minute and ended up taking the train so I wouldn't deal with traffic. I met up with 2j on the train to my car and picked up Jeffy.

When Crescendo got busy, there were several hot girls there. The place was rough. It's so much easier to open and hook sets in Lincoln Park. 2j hooked this drunk girl early on. She happened to be a friend of this Indian girl that I must have seen out about 20 times this summer. This is the moody Indian girl who one week was friendly to me in line at Sound Bar. The next week, she told me to fuck off when I opened her in Sound Bar. The funny thing is I wasn't even trying to sarge her at the time. I was just being friendly. Then, she was cool with me two weeks later.

My best set of this night was this Russian redhead. I managed to stop her as she was walking by. I was all up on her and talked to her for about 5 minutes before she said she had to find her friends. I suppose I should have just plowed with more material when she said that but I didn't do so at the time.

I had this amusing interaction with this tall redhead at Spy Bar. 2j pointed her out to me as he knows I like them. I opened her and was talking briefly and then she said, "Are you gonna buy us a bottle?" I laughed and said, "No, you need to ask one of these dudes to buy you a bottle and share it with me." I laugh because I'm the last person that I would buy her a bottle and I also chuckle because you know at least one fool has chumped out and done that for her in the past.

We ended the night on Division Street. We were in this one bar where several girls were dancing on this couch area. I saw a girl squatting on the chair. I opened her by saying, "Look at you, you either have to sit down or stand up and dance. There's no, half-assing like that. Chose one." She giggled and then she said, "Okay, I'll dance for you." While I opened it, it made it hard to do anything more. I thought about how Manwhore has said that when girls are dancing up like that, he goes up to them and just starts talking to them as they are dancing. I forced myself to stay and dance in front of her. I had her high five me but then I felt awkward and walked away. I know that the move is to just stay with it. I could have kept yelling shit to her as she was dancing and then tried to pull her down later on.

Tonight was a good warm up for this weekend. I know I'm gonna get pumped up from the Free Tour. Seeing the boot camp will also motivate me like it did in April. Most importantly, my shitty mood from Saturday is gone and my positivity has returned. Even though my best set was merely a 5 minutes hook, I really enjoyed my evening. I used to always have fun until I fell into that trap of having way too high expectations for myself.

Spent a car ride with Jeffy/Jlaix

I suppose this deserves it's own post. 2j and I picked up Jeffy and his assistant at the airport. 2j is hosting the assistant and they needed a ride so 2j asked me if I could do it. I live by the airport anyway and always go down to the city to sarge with 2j so it was on the way. Besides, I figured it would be cool to spend some time with one of the big RSD guys.

I didn't bombard him with questions like some guys would do. I know so much theory that I actually don't have any specific questions that can help me. I have to improve by doing more field work, leading more, pushing my comfort levels, and gaining reference experiences and calibration from all that. If I can't figure out how to analyze what happened (and that happens mostly with late game/pulling situations), I ask 2j or post on the forums. Even if I had a ton of questions, I wouldn't have bothered him with them. So guys treat these PUA guys like just objects who can dispense pickup knowledge.

It actually surprised me that the conversation turned towards game for a bit. I figured that they'd want a break from game since they are gonna have a full weekend of free tour, boot camp, hot seat, etc. I suppose it's like when I've hung out with poker people. I'd naturally start talking about poker and I suppose it's natural that PUA's end up talking about some aspect of sarging. We all got into this because we love women and sarging, after all.

Jeffy is about what I expected. What you see on video is basically what you get. Keep in mind that I only spent a 20 minute car ride with him. I didn't get to see the man in action, but I'm sure I'll see them out in the field at some point. I ran into the boot camp back in April as well and I know on Thursdays that they go to where we normally go out.

The one thing I will say is that you realize he's just a normal guy that just happens to have put a lot of field work into sarging and has turned into a master PUA and PUA guru. Tyler has always said that they are just regular guys who put hard work to become good at what they do.

Of course, out in the field, they are larger than life. They are getting success with women that I always dreamed about. Realizing that they are regular guys does make you realize that with enough work, we can all improve as well. I don't expect to get to their level, but I know I can surpass where I am. Just this year, I've progressed so much and I've been a part of crazy adventures that I never would have imagine possible.

Let me close by saying it's funny how life works out. It's funny how I wound up in a set of circumstances that resulted in me spending a car ride with Jeffy. It's cool how Jeffy, while a normal cool guy as I described above, is also the author of "Get Laid or Die Trying" (which I really will buy at some point), the RSD guru, and the guy who's living the PUA lifestyle that we all would like to have. So yeah, Jeffy ending up being in my car for a ride into the city is cool.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Math girl: LTR material? & Community conditioning

I had that initial Day 2 with Math girl that I blogged about Sept 30. I went on a Day 3 that went great on Thursday and we hung out again Monday night. I feel weird writing a detailed report about her probably because I do actually like her.

Sometimes, I'm wondering what I'm gonna say on Day 2's, on the phone or through text. That happened when I first text her, but after that, it was like we just clicked. I can't even remember a moment when we've hung out in person and I've felt my mind trying to think of what to say, or trying to fill some void in the conversation. We just feel really at ease talking to each other.

Things are moving slower than I usually expect and part of me was frustrated with that initially. One reason, is that I feared she was gonna be like my first girlfriend. I was worried she didn't like sex, but the other night, we had a good talk that cleared things up. 2j's theory after the Day2 was that Math girl really liked me and when girls do that, they often want to make you wait. Sometimes they do this because they fear that if they hook up too quickly, they'll lose you. They also worry if you really like them or if just want to have sex them. I suspected I might have been dealing with some of these reasons so I tried to make her comfortable by telling her that I didn't just want this to be a one night thing. (I'll note that's a LMR tactic, but I really did feel that way. As I've said before, I practice the light side of the game. I don't like to lie and say something like that to help bust LMR if I don't really feel it.) It turns out she's worried about getting too attached. She's afraid things might break off at the wrong time and she'll end up screwing up her grades (and in this case, it would mean screwing up her future job prospects and career. She's not in college anymore, so this is different.)

2j pointed out too that if things are progressing, that I shouldn't be worrying about it anyway. Hearing her reasoning finally put me fully at ease with how things are going. Today, I also thought about Style's time line at the end of "The Game." Sometimes, you can or have to take things slower.

Community Conditioning?:

I feel like I've broken through much of social conditioning when it comes to sarging and relationship. At the same time, I wonder if I've taken on community conditioning. I told 2j that I'm probably just being stupid. I let community thinking say that if I don't hook up by tne end of a Day2 or Day3 or whatever, then I'm a chump.

When 2j and I were talking today, I actually dug into my memory. I thought about my old AFC days. This situation is no where near a chode type situation. Back then, I'd buy multiple dinners for girls, and at times even over a period of months, and get shit. Sometimes I got a kiss and something I didn't get anything at all. Math girl has always wanted to pay for herself at the beginning and things have progressed pretty far so clearly this situation is way different.

What's the alternative?:
2j made a final great point. He said, "What's the alternative?" The answer would be to say, "Peace out" because we haven't had sex and not see her again. That's just dumb. I like this girl and feel a connection to her. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Sex is great and all, but what I have here is more rare than sex. Besides, when you have a real connection with someone, sex is inevitable. I don't need to rush it.

To make the point to myself, I picture pulling a hottie from the Thursday Sound Bar scene. Yeah, I'd love to bang one those girls. If I did, and she had a shit personality, it would be fun, but I would just be left with emptiness at the end. It would help me with entitlement issues, but it wouldn't give me what my interactions with Math girl have given me thus far.

Math girl is a really cool, smart woman, and I'm gonna continue seeing her. I no longer feel the need to rush things on some community schedule. On the other hand, I'm not gonna do what JW did and commit to her at such an early point. If I embraced the dark side of the game, I probably could have sped things along if I had told her what JW told his girl. I could have told her that I was looking for a serious girlfriend and told her I really liked her, etc. I have told her that I like her, but I also told her that I'm still on a journey and I don't want to get married for a long time. I'll continue sarging, but my mind often drifts into thought about Math girl. I suspect sarging is gonna get better as I'll be less outcome oriented and just more relaxed in field.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Wed & Sat speed reports & Second opportunities

I haven't been writing my daily field reports. I think part of it was I just needed a break from all of this: I mean writing field reports and sarging in general. 2j has also been less enthusiastic about going out and I wonder part of the reason is that transferring to me.

Part of my frustration is that I haven't been going out as much. My game definitely gets better from building momentum from going out a ton. I'd then go out after several days off and then somehow expect that I'd do as well as when I was going out every day. I also started to have too high expectations for the night. Wednesday, I was wasted and I was getting poor results. I finally hooked a set that was my type: she was average looking but she was really smart. Instead of sticking it through, I just ejected.

Part of me wanted something magical or crazy to happen. Despite things turning out badly with that theatrics chick, the night was exciting. In the process of trying to duplicate those results in a shit state, I just became frustrated.

This was apparent Saturday. Thursday night, I had a Day 2 with "Math girl." While that went well, I didn't do any cold approach. Friday, I didn't go out because I spent time with my mother the whole afternoon and evening and had gotten very little sleep Thursday night.

2j and I met up in Wrigelyville. I went to Clarke's for the $2 drafts. I had 2 beers which helped me feel better. I had a good night hanging out with my mom Friday, but Saturday, her nagging put me into a horrible mood. I was in such a bad mood that even an 8 mile run didn't fix it.

Despite my mood and 2j not opening despite me pushing him, I ended up opening these two cute girls that were seated at the bar next to me. I had seen them when I walked in initially. I didn't open them and I even text 2j asking him to open them when he came in. Finally, about ten minutes after he arrive, I went to the bathroom and forced myself to open the set. It actually went well. We found out the girls were two British girl on holiday (I'll use their term instead of the American term "vacation") and were only in town for two days.

Asking for the venue change:

My girl ended up asking us what places were good in the area and where "Wrigelyville" actually was. I told her about Barleycorn. Even though I knew the move, I didn't do the proper thing and try to venue change them. Later, the girls were getting ready to leave. I again mentioned Barleycorn. I was hoping 2j would give me some help and push for the venue change. He later said he was really out of his game, especially because he had started a sober gaming challenge and had gotten too used to warming up by drinking. The girls ended up leaving, and then I lamented how we could have venue change the set.

Groundhog day?:

An amazing thing happened: when we left the place, we saw the girls walking on the sidewalk. I pointed them out when I saw them in the distance walking towards us and said, "Look at this, we actually have been given the chance to redeem ourselves. Let's push this venue change."

2j actually pulled through this time. I said, "Hey, it's you guys again." 2j said, "Are you lost?"

They asked again where Wrigleyville was, and 2j said, "We'll show you."

We started walking up Sheffield. I started just doing my tour guide mode. I told them stories and fact about the city and about where we were going. For some reason, 2j was walking too fast and getting ahead of them. I kept spewing stuff for about 3 blocks and then I started to get self-conscious. I caught up to 2j and we started talking.

We suddenly turned around, and we saw the girls had stopped at the intersection behind us. 2j said that he sensed something weird with them and that's why he wasn't talking. I said, "Things might have been weird, but the move was for both of us to talk to them. They just met us and were walking with two guys they barely knew in an area they'd never been to."

I went on to say that we just needed to talk and make them comfortable and we could have gotten them to Barleycorn.


I'll close by talking about this set that I debated internally. We opened some sets in Barleycorn. I saw this blonde who looked cute from a few feet away. I told 2j I was thinking about opening and he commented that they looked older. I always joke that "looking older" means the girls are probably around my age. I opened aggressively and started dancing with her.

The girl was really into me. She kept talking to me and being almost overly flirtatious. She'd whisper in my ear and let her mouth get really close to my ear. When she moved close to hear me, she made her face brush really close to my face.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this. She was cute, but she had this freckles on her shoulders that just made her look old. Then, she said she was here with her son and daughter and she pointed them out. This made her mid to late 40's age range. On top of that, I just felt weird dancing with the mom while the kids were there.

2j made a good point later on. He said that I could have just number closed so I didn't have to deal with that, and I could have decided whether I wanted to try to hook up with her or not. I also could have just asked, "Are you single?" She probably was divorced and wanting to party considering how she was acting towards me.

While I felt shitty at the end of Saturday, it really was a night of second chances. Later, I saw the MILF and her kids and their friends standing outside on the street. I made eye contact with her and approached her. She smiled and was all excited to see me. I just gave her a high five and continued my night but maybe I should have pursued her.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Kissing and grinding and then theatrics to get rid of me...

I'll open this by saying that strangely, I developed slightly higher standards for girls I will go for and I realize now that might be a mistake. I lack experience in late game and it's preventing me from turning sets into actually pulls and sex. Part of me feels anger and frustration when I get into situations where I don't know what the right move is. I'll add that tonight I had to ponder what happened for a long time to figure out what I might have done better. I'm so used to knowing exactly where I screwed up.

At the same time, I realize that I can't beat myself up for failing in late game due to inexperience. Part of the solution is that I need to stop reading the Main RSD forums and concentrate on field reports, especially lay reports. The answer lie in learning what works and fails for others. The big part of the solution is just learning the calibration through experience. This goes back to what I opened with above: I need to try to pull any girls that are willing or seem DTF so I can learn from the experiences.

I wanna dance with her:

I started the night getting free food and drinks. My college friends win these free 2 hour bar parties from trivia. 2j was gonna meet me there but he ended up going to a lair speaker, but fortunately JW came out. JW, 2j, 2j's roommate and I went to check out Enclave. I put out this idea since I knew I didn't need the free drinks from Sound Bar tonight. We will definitely go there again as it was busy when we got there and that was before 11PM. I was wasted and I could tell 2j figured I'd be running my shitty drunken game again. I opened some girls, including this really tall girl but they went nowhere.

I spotted these two chubby blondes and told JW, "I wanna dance with her." The one I liked was a little taller than me (but she had heels on) and even though she was chubby, she had a really cute face. She was dancing crazily and I just went up to her. I don't remember the actualy opener, but I think I did the high five move that I turn into a spin. Immediately, I can tell this was on.

I ended up getting no wing help as none of the guys I were with were interested in the friend. It was okay as the friend didn't cockblock at all. I tried to give her a little attention but then I realized she was just gonna let things happen. Later, this black girl showed up and I text 2j to come wing me. He wasn't attracted to her. I thought she was cute and she had a trim body.

I didn't want to overescalate:
This was one of the dance floor sets that were just totally on. I could tell by the way she grinded on me immediately after I spun her. I used my leg stimulation move. I ran my fingers through her hair at times and I pulled gently, but firmly on her hair, which turned her on. I brushed her hair from her neck and blew into her ear. I kissed her neck and sucked on her neck. I gave her strong eye contact which she held. I kept hovering my face near her face.

When we were dancing, I began to probe how far I could push things by moving my hand near her pussy. I touch her pussy a few times and she didn't resist. I thought back to other sets and decided I didn't want to start fingering her as I was afraid I was gonna overescalate and blow out. I also had no where to pull. I had taken public transportation in so I didn't have my car. I'm pretty sure there's no private bathroom in that club and I actually didn't even know where the bathrooms were.

I should mention that I had moved her away from her friends several times. They were fine with us dancing and being all over each other, but it's a good move regardless. I should always be working to isolate from the friends.

I'm taken:

This perhaps was part of the problem of the entire night. The girl was into me, but she had a boyfriend. It's funny how girls work sometimes. I could suck on her neck, touch her pussy, etc, but she told me she had a boyfriend when I tried kissing her initially. I said, "That's cool, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I just want to have fun." She said, "Good" and then I went back to kissing her neck. About a minute later, I got her turned on and we kissed and made out anyway.

I had number closed her at one point. I remember that one time, when I had her isolated, she said she had to find her friends. She didn't want to leave me as she asked if I would dance with her again. I told her I could just come with her.

Can I come with?

That point leads to another theme of tonight. While I want to beat myself up, I should be happy that I'm gaining confidence. Even though I knew things were on, in the past, I would have been hesitant to go with her to find the friends. Later, I wouldn't have asked if I could go with her to the next bar. It's a good move to just ask girls if you can come along.

The girls planned to go to a bar in Lincoln Park where they knew a bartender. I went with them. I was holding the girls hand most of the time that we left Enclave. This including walking to the train. On the train, she sat next to me. When we got off, we held her hand again.

At the second bar, there wasn't much dancing. The dance floor area was closed off as the bar was slow. My girl wanted to play pool and paid for a game. I was playing but I hate pool and suck at it, so I told the black girl to play for me. The bar ended up closing and the guy they knew wanted to venue change them all to an after hours place.

Let's go have food at your place:
I'm not a total idiot. The guy was taking forever with the venue change. I also knew that going another 2 hours at after hours wasn't the best plan. I had a problem, though, because the two blondes were roommates. They had all mentioned going home while the bartender guy was dragging. I told my girl, "We should go back to your place and grab some food." She said, "You're not coming back to my place."

I think the move was okay, but I also knew at the time that her buying temperature had dropped. It might have been a good move, but I needed to pump her state up. It was hard because we were surrounded by her two girl friends, and the orbiter guy was hovering around too. Since it's cold out too, there weren't that many people standing on the sidewalk either so it's not like I could have had mini isolation behind a pack of people outside.

I told you I had a boyfriend:
I hate to admit that I turned into quiet mode on the walk to the after hours bar. The orbiter guy was cool to me, but he aggravated me a little bit. He was talking shit to random people we walked past. Later, in the bar, two guys tried opened the black girl and the roommate. They got busted out. As they were walking away, the bartender dude was coming back and he laughed at them and said, "Good try (sarcastically)."

Again, he treated me fine, but I could see he was the kind of orbiter that I hate when I open mixed sets. In a way, I felt like he was picking on the weak. The two guys were brave to open and had gotten busted out and he had to dig the knife into them. I know that if I were in a good state, and I had been them, I would have tooled him and made him look stupid.

Other than that, the guy and his friend were cool. I got into quiet mode for some reason. I should add that about three storefronts before we got to the after hours place, my girl dropped my hand. In the bar she said, "I told you I had a boyfriend." I said my line about how, "I just wanted to have fun."

That's a true statement. I was trying to create a fun time for both of us. I wanted to hook up and I think she would have enjoyed it too. I did not want to steal her from her boyfriend. I'd want her to stay with him.

Anyway, she had said that perhaps because I wasn't talking enough and also because she was losing buying temp.

Unbelievable make out theatrics:

I tried talking to her. I used some of my usual stuff to hold a girls attention. Where I screwed up is I tried several times to stroke her arm. I stopped that when I saw she wasn't responding. (I had text 2j that I knew I was losing her and he told me to try to raise her buying temp again the same way I did originally. I couldn't do that as there was no edancing in this bar). The big theatrics came when I tried to isolate her to the basketball machine, "Let's go play that basketball game," I said.

She replied, "Why don't you go play the basketball game with her? (point to the black girl." In retrospect, I should have went and played it with her. Instead, I gave her this incredulous look as I knew she was blowing me off with that line. Then I just sat there. Next, she started whispering to her girlfriends. I knew she was talking about me. Sometimes, I know I'm being paranoid, but I could tell this time. She kept looking at me while whispering, plus she had never whispered to them the entire night.

I should have got up and walk around at this point. I just kept sitting there. Then, she starts whiserping to the orbiter. Suddenly, she gets my attention by tapping me and says, "Watch this!" Then, she initiated a long make out with the orbiter.

I actually laughed. Her two girlfriends were looking at her and the black girl said, "WTF is that?" I said, "She putting on that show just for me." Then she turned to me and said, "That means it's time for you to go."

She figured I was gonna be deflated. I sat there for two minutes. I knew it was just a big fucking show for me. From going out so much, I knew the guy was just an orbiter. I knew she had lost buying temperature and she felt awkward having me there.

I'll sarge this fucking bar:
Tim calls it the "fury." My competitive side really kicks me into gear. I remember how I felt when I saw that bootcamp in April walk in. I suddenly wanted to turn up my game. It's the same way I felt when that lame ass instructor guy tried to steal a tall Spanish girl from me. If I could somehow game the way I do when I feel this way, I'd be unstoppable. What went through my head was something like this, "Did you just seriously orchestrate that BS for me? Yeah, I probably fucked this up at some point and I was too quiet. I know you wanted me and I wanted this to happen. At the same time, do you think I can't get any other girls? I left my wing and hung out with you when I could have met even hotter girls at Enclave."

I went and tried to sarge some other girls but the place didn't have many sets. Every girl I saw was with some guys. Part of me thinks I should have left the group and just started working the room. That would have got me out of that passive state I was in when we walked into the bar. The group I hooked ended up being these 3 siblings. I could tell the one girl was attracted to me, but she ended up being married. The brother was cool. At the end, I found out the third girl was her sister. Perhaps, I should have tried to sarge her more, but they ended up leaving, and at the time, I was just happy to be in another set away from my original girl.

I talked to some guys and as I was about to go back in front by the original girl to get my coat, I saw her walk by. I got her attention and she said, "Oh hey." I grabbed her hand and said, "You know, all the theatrics weren't necessary." She walked in to the bathroom. I went by the guy. He was all drunk. I told him, "Thanks for taking me here. This is a cool place. Oh, and tell her, all the theatrics weren't necessary." I stood by him for about ten seconds. He was so drunk that he dozed off for a second. I tapped him cause I was gonna leave, and he woke up from his daze and dropped his beer.

Free cover and beer:

I can't complain about the orbiter guys other than what I said above. They treated me fine and I even got comps from them. When we got to the place, the bouncer said it was $5 cover. The roommate began to pull out money and the orbiter bartender said, "I got their cover." The girls walked in, and I just walked in as well. I wasn't gonna pay to get in that place. I used to feel bad about taking advantage, but now I don't. A few minutes in, my girl told the bartender orbiter's friend to buy the black girl a beer. He ended up going to the bar and buying a bunch of beers. I gave token resistance to the beer, but as soon as they insisted after that (which I expected), I took the free beer.

The good & the bad: an analysis:
I should be happy that I had a girl hooked this strongly. Yeah, she wasn't hot, but again, I believe in the binary scale. Plus, I really did think she had a cute face and she's blonde with pale skin which I like. I learned from overescalation in the past, and early on, I maintained her buying temperature. I actually had the confidence to push for going with the venue change and to stay with her at Enclave. There have been too many times when I just lost confidence and assumed the girl didn't want me. This time, early on, I assumed it was on and proceeded.

What was bad is that I got quiet during the walk to the after hours bar. If I find myself in this situation again, I know I can just start opening random people at the bar on the way to the bathroom and get myself into a talkative mood again.
My failure to pull often has been caused by failing to lead. I need to talk things over with 2j, but after thinking about this the like two hour train & bus ride, plus 3 mile walk to get home, I have two ideas.

How I could have lead
If I had been in the right venues, I could have tried a bathroom pull or car pull. To do that, I could have got her into a corner and started to make out with her and finger her and then just tried the pull. I also could have really pumped her state and tried to get her to go to her place. She wanted to stay by the friends. If I had said, "Let's go to your place" she would have objected and said she had to stay with her friends. I would have needed to just blow that objection off. I'm thinking maybe I could have been forward with what I wanted.

I'm thinking, I could have pumped her state and just said, "Let's go to your place." She probably would have brought up the boyfriend. I'm thinking I could have said, "I don't want you to leave him. You guys should be together. I just want to be your boyfriend tonight. No one has to know. Let's go."

If I had to go to the second bar, I think I should have tried to seed the pull there. I would have liked to keep her buying temp up, but it didn't help that the place was slow with no dance floor.

When we were standing around waiting for the bartender orbiter, maybe I could have been aggressive and lead her to a cab. I'm not sure.