Sunday, June 15, 2014

Finally feel like my powers are back

As I mentioned in my last post, I've gone out sporadically.  Over the past few weeks, I managed to make myself open more.  That was a big step, but once I got comfortable with that, I then faced my ever present sticking point of making the interaction go somewhere beyond the friend to friend conversation.

Short update of past few months:
I had an awakening a few weeks ago when I was out with Seagull.  I remember we opened this 2-set on he street in Wrigley.  I decided to tease this girl about being a hipster and then I made an effort to try kino her.  I remember I did the old trick of complimenting her on something and then saying I wanted to hug her.  I was surprised how enthusiastically she wanted to hug me.  I knew it was on then and I set up a venue change to Barleycorn.  Unfortunately, the friend didn't like Seagull.  I can't blame him as I've been on the other side of that far too many times.  I didn't even try for the number close or try to stay with my girl.  In any case, it was a huge breakthrough to get me to actually create attraction and touch.

I had that lesson in my mind but I still was struggling.  I had another breakthrough last week when I was up in Minnesota for some contest.  I met up with Vortexx, which is a guy I know from World of Warcraft.  Fatty McGee was surprised I was actually able to sarge with someone I met from the game.  I replied that Vortexx was probably equally surprised that I was from WoW and outgoing.  I felt good being from out of town and having placed in this eating contest so I was opening like crazy.

I could have pulled this drunk girl, but it didn't feel right.  If I didn't have another contest the next day, I might have just taken her to a diner or something and let her sober up but I didn't have that kind of time.  When I say drunk, I mean she was really incoherent.  I actually left when I noticed this, but she grabbed my hand and said, "Help me find my friends."  I walked around with her again and she was pointing at random people and saying, "Are these my friends?"  She wandered off and I just gave up on that.

The other interesting thing that happened is that these two girls got super excited when they learned about my competitive eating hobby.  They asked if I had twitter, and I should have given them my facebook but I don't really promote myself like other eaters do.

Speaking of that, after a contest the next day, two sets of girls approached me after I won this contest and started talking to me.  I laugh that before learning pickup, I thought I had to lose weight and be super lean/ripped, and it turns out the way I get the most attention is by binge eating like a champion!

Just a few hours ago, these two others girls got really excited when competitive eating came up again and they wanted to take a picture with me like the other girls in MN did.  This is after I explained that I'm not as good as the big name people and I'm just better or of similar skill to the mid tier eaters.

My best chance for a 5 minutes lay:
It hurts me to write this story.  I know if what happened to me tonight happened to any of my wings that were out today, they would have pulled and had a 5 minutes lay.  It's seriously unbelievable how I manage to screw up sure things and keep up my dry spell.

I was upstairs at Barleycorn in River North.  Jason Derula actually performed there briefly later on in the night.  That kind of messed up pickup when he was performing.  I took a pic of him on stage but I wasn't that excited about being in the same room as him.  It was just like when Nelly was at Social 21.  The only celebrities I'd like to meet are hot models/hot actresses to see what they look like in real life.  I also would like to meet certain world leaders I suppose, but other than that I don't really care.

Before the performance, I was standing by one of my wings.  I noticed this blond playing with her phone.  She looked like she was about to have a panic attack or something.  Just as I was about to approach her, she actually approached me.  She looked upset and she said, "Hi.  Do you know where the exit is?"
Me: Are you okay?  You look like you are about to have a panic attack or something.
HB: Where is the exit? (She was really flustered at this point).
Me: I don't work here, but here's the exit.

I walked her over to the stairs.  She thanked me and then looked down.  I think I put her arm around her and I remember she enthusiastically nestled into me.  She was all over me as I was walking her down the stairs.

I actually thought she was plastered or on something at this point, but later I realized she wasn't as drunk as I thought she was.

We got downstairs and she thanked me.  I started to make small talk.

I remember her telling me something like, "There was this guy her who just didn't like me."

Thinking back, it sounded like she had a date that went badly, or she just got dumped or something.  The later would explain why she was looking to validate herself by hooking up with me so quickly.  The whole situation was happening so fast that I couldn't think clearly.

I remember her kissing me hand at one point.  I remember gazing into her eyes as I had my hands on her hips and her telling me again that basically some guy blew her off.

One of my wings would ask me if I made out with her.  Clearly, that was the move.  I know if I just went to kiss her, it would have been totally on and I could have just pulled and gotten laid.

Just as quickly as it had started, it fizzled out.  She left and then went outside.  I was at least smart enough to make myself go try again.  I saw her in front trying to catch a cab.  I told her she was going to get hit by a car as she was standing in the street.  She said, "I'm okay."  She was cold to me now and I realized why just shortly after she got into a cab and left.  She wasn't totally plastered like I thought initially.  She was having a bad day and might have been about to have a panic attack. I probably recognized the look from when I opened this girl during this Cinco de Mayo pub crawl a few years ago.  I SNL pulled that girl and she told me she was about to have a panic attack on this pub crawl bus and when I opened her, I helped calm her down.

This girl tonight felt so comfortable after I brought her out of that panic state.  When I put my arm on her, she felt better.  She felt wanted after being spurned by that other guy.  She wanted to get laid and was making it about as obvious as a girl is going to get.  Most girls wouldn't have been even that forward.  I mean, when I put my arm around her, she snuggled into me.  She kissed my hand.  She was gazing into my eyes and basically telling me that she just got rejected/dumped.

Initially she felt I was this awesome, confident guy that was going to redeem her day and that I just turned into a clueless chump.  I think Tyler has likened it to if as a guy, you were talking to some supermodel and she all of a sudden ballooned into a giant warpig.  I turned into a chump after she had made a big effort to make it obvious she wanted to go home with me.

My wing later said that when she opened me, he could tell she wanted to fuck me.

Wow, do I manage to screw up in some massive ways...

Cockblocked by the friends:
I lamented about that screw up but I wasn't about to give up.  I opened some more later on but nothing of note happened.  Well, I was thinking about opening this girl by a light pole that Asian Cousin ended up opening.  She had massively high buying temperature.  I learned that when I came back to wing him when I saw there were two girls by him.  I thought his target was this French girl and the girl I was talking to was so touchy and again, of obvious high buying temp.  Asian Cousin then switched b/c that was he target and I talked to this attractive French girl.  They wanted to go back into Paris Club and the door waned to charge us $40 to get in even though there was only 30 minutes left.  Screw that.  On top of that, his target was the high buying temp girl.

I actually hit a state crash but ran into 2j and Crazyfoot.  It seems like all of our old crew was out this evening.  I ended opening this thin girl who was slightly taller than me.  She was from Detroit and I had her into me enough that she was about to walk to this other venue with me.  Her friends kept texting her.  The first time, she couldn't find them and then we were just a half block from the other venue when they called her.

I screwed up as I knew if we went back to the friends, I was going to lose this.  I think of an old free tour where Brad talked about taking the phone away from the girl or having her put it away.  I think about a Manwhore story where he dodged this bachelorette party from cockblocking him by taking a girl out another exit at a casino in Vegas.  I thought I could smooth talk the friends and was hoping for a wing to help me.

Instead, I got massively cockblocked.  I tried talking to the friends and they were like, "Thank you for bring her to us" and then they walked off with her.


I could just tell if I got her to the venue, this was going to be on.  I could really work my verbal magic and escalate.  She was from out of town so would be in the party mindset.  Nothing is certain (except for that 5 min lay opportunity maybe), but I think the odds were good her.

Feeling like my powers were back:
That's what I kept thinking on my drive home.  I build some massive momentum from going out 3 days in a row and I build up from the past few weeks.  What was big today was that I was completely sober.  Things were easier with the "cheat codes" (that's what I call drinking) Thursday, and especially Friday.  That I did things sober taught me that I'm finally getting myself in the right mind set.  (On another note, I think I am ready for some day game now that I had a good night and create the good night sober).

One big lesson from Friday was that I gave it the full effort I was capable of at the time.  I ended up with nothing but it made me realize two things.  First, it felt good to be opening on the dance floor and just opening more often than not.  In the end, nothing happened and I wasn't really close to getting laid.  The thing I realized is that this is hard: I can give it my all and not wind up with a girl.  Just imagine then, when I'm spending the entire night doubting myself and not opening.  I have no chance then so I might as well give it my best effort.  Again, it feels better to give my best effort and that's the only way to increase my odds.  I've got almost no chance when I'm giving low effort.

A lot of pickup at this point is just giving myself permission to be that cool guy I'm capable of being.  It's giving myself permission to keep opening random hot girls on the street or in the venue.  It's risking the bad reactions and the instant blowouts because I know that will give me the momentum to get in a good, confident mood.  It's knowing that giving my best effort will yield results with if I just go out consistently.

This is a breakthrough night in that I actually made myself take all this time to type this up for myself.  I got a taste of how it was last summer.  I had a chance to get laid really quickly that I messed up, but I'm sure it will happen again.  More likely, I'll go out more and have a lot of fun and create many promising opportunities.  I don't have to keep thinking about how I wish I were back to last summer.

I'm close to having the powers I had back then and it's time to create some new adventures and blow past my last peak game point.

This time I'll get laid more...

March Update: Didn't get laid b/c their literally was too much stuff in the car

I kept saying I was going to update this.  I took a long break after my last post.  I went out a few times in March and then took more time off.  I had some adventures out of state and with Seagull that helped get me on track.  There actually were some fun times.  Even with my shitty skills (compared to where I was last summer) I had some opportunities to get laid that I messed up on.  That was frustrating but also inspiring, on one level, as it meant that even with shaky confidence and rusty game, I still could be attractive.

Comical how I managed to avoid getting laid:
There was a comical incident with Asian Cousin in March.  I wasn't really doing much.  I opened a few times (I'm talking like 3-4 maximum which is what I would do as a newbie).  Asian Cousin was in massive state and was just trying nonstop.  At the very end of the night, he opened these chubby girls and he shoved me into the back seat of a cab with them.  Then he and this other wing were trying to figure out who was going to hop in the front.  Asian Cousin finally just pushed the other wing back, closed the door and the cab drove off.

The girls had the cab drive them to a parking garage where their car was parked.  The girls tried to ask us to pitch in for the cab and we both looked at each other and said "We don't have any money."  One girl was frustrated and said, "It figures" and then paid for it.

I actually learned a good lesson from this set and I'm glad I'm taking the time to write about it now as it will help ingrain this lesson.  For a second, I felt awkward walking with them and in the past I could see myself just slowing down and letting them walk ahead.  Instead, I just walked with them telling myself to just act as it it were natural to go with them to the car.  They didn't object and just went with it.

I thought we were actually going to pull this set.  In the cab, and as we were walking, one girl said several times that there was no room for us in the car.  I thought they were just throwing out token resistance so I just ignored it.  Asian Cousin later said he thought the same thing.

When we got to their vehicle, we saw they were telling the truth.  They had this SUV, and they must have been getting ready to remodel as the back seat and hatch area was completely filled with shit.  We literally could not fit in there even if I tried to lay on top of the stuff.

We just said good bye and walked away.  As we did this, I realized we could have tried to figure out something else.  I was in a really bad state, though, and I couldn't do it and Asian PUA didn't think to do anything either.  It was too late when I spoke up and said we messed this up and should have figured out a way to go home with them.