Thursday, April 30, 2015

Pickup is the hardest thing

I swear that learning pickup is the hardest thing I ever learned.  I can't believe I've been doing this shit for 10 years and still not doing as well as I could.  That sentence is being negative.  To be fair and positive, I've learned and experienced a lot since embarking on this journey.  I've lost a lot of my insecurity and become more relaxed overall.  There are so many periphery skills that I learned along this journey from something as simple as ironing a shirt to being comfortable on the dance floor to amusing myself.

I wish I had seen Tyler's video about hard case newbies years ago and I would have been less frustrated early on.  He talks about how if you are really social awkward and terrible with women, it will take 2-3 years of work before you can start seeing any results.

On the other hand, had I read that, maybe I would have quit the journey before I ever progressed.  I was lucky that despite taking time off several times, I always knew I'd come back to working on this skill.  Ever since I read The Game, I had a blind faith that this was a skill I could learn and improve and now the changes I've made in myself and my bits of success drive me on even when I get frustrated.

As I was writing this, I decided to read some really old posts from the other blog.  I stopped posting there in 2007.  I think I need a good reminder of what my nights used to look like.  I realize that even what I would call a shitty night like Wednesday and Saturday are way beyond how it used to be for me early on.

I know that if I stick with this, I'll have even more crazy nights and I eventually will start pulling girls regularly.  I know I have no choice.  I won't quit because there is a no alternative.  If I stop, I'll just have no girls and be stuck whacking off, though strangely enough, my first girlfriend said she'd fly me out to impregnate her as she wants a baby and would rather have mine than some random sperm donor from the clinic.

Wed: Stay in Set Longer & Sober game

The good thing is that I went out Wednesday rather than staying home.  Nintendo text me out of the blue about going out so I met up with him and Andydufresne.  They had to work the next day so, as I told some sets, "They were turning into pumpkins at midnight."   

We talked for a bit and opened some sets and then they had to go.  Part of me did want to leave, but I knew it was stupid to come all this way and not do shit.  Besides, I had gotten through the hardest part of going out alone: getting started.  

The old bit of wisdom is that everything comes back to fundamentals, no matter what skill level you are at in something.  Supposedly, pro players will still do a lot of training in fundamentals.  I get some advanced level stuff right, but I still screw up some little things.

Staying in set:
The old bit of community wisdom was that you should stay in set until you bust out.  This has changed to RSD Alex's bit about trying four times, or Tyler saying that you can leave once the anime eyes disappear.  

I was definitely leaving several sets too early today.  I think I get a warped sense of how things are going to go down as a result of having some super positive responses.  It's like if the girl doesn't give me massive IOI's right off the bat, or has the anime eyes, I decide to leave after just a minute or two.  

Deep down, I think it's a more advance level of fearing rejection, or Tyler's old bit about "state control."  I can make myself open but then I think I try to protect my ego by taking the good opening sometime and not plowing through.  By staying in, I can get the girl: number close, pull, etc, but by leaving I can take the good opening and not have to face the possibility of getting rejected or screwing up later.  

Again, I think the last paragraph is part of it, but I also think that every pickup should be a girl totally into me.  

Today I had two drinks but I was basically sober.  I didn't feel anything from the drinks because I came out after having doing some capacity.  I literally ate 4 lbs of vegetables along with some cheese, tomatoes, and anchovies and drank at least 3 quarts of liquid.  

I realized that dancing is so much easier when I'm drunk or at least buzzed.  I was doing a bit of dancing but I wasn't as crazy as when I'm drinking.  I had a chance to try to dance with these 4 girls next to me but I chickened out.  

When drinking, I just feel better overall which makes it easier to persist in sets and to keep opening.  I do need to do more sober sarging because as I've always said, I don't want to become reliant on drinking.  

Tall girl:
The perfect example of me not staying in set long enough was when I opened this 4-set.  All 4 girls were tall, as in taller than me and 5'10 being the shortest.  The girl I wanted was the second tallest and she was probably about 6 feet tall.  I did my standard opener busting on her for being too serious.  She giggled and starting smiling.  I then left.
I saw her later in the night.  I opened one of her friends and this girl rejected me by saying, "Oh, I'm with him" pointing to some guy friend.  I then saw my girl and I said, "I choose you Pikachu" and she started smiling and giggling again.  

I think I must have been intimidated by her height.  I made myself approach and actually got a positive response, but I didn't believe in myself enough to keep talking.  

I mean this is dumb basic stuff.  The girl responded positively to me twice and I just walked away after instead of persisting. 

My final chance came when I was playing with my phone and she walked by alone.  I thought about opening her and trying to dance with her to this song but I didn't act on it right away and then it was too late.  

Treat the hot ones like I treat the non attractive girls:
I remember this Tyler video where he explains that basically if you can act the same way you do to a non or not so attractive girl with the hotter ones, you'll get the same results.  There was this cute but overweight girl on the dance floor.  I went up to her super confident and got really close to her.  She was into me but said something about a boyfriend.  I did my usual bit saying, "Hey, you are single tonight."  She actually giggled to that and said,"I'm flattered but my boyfriend is here."  

I think back about how I opened and ran that set.  It comes back to entitlement, which Tyler talks about in several videos.  I felt like I could get a girl like that easily, so I acted super confident when I was talking to her.  

The ultimate answer to to build entitlement so I feel that way about all girls, including the good looking ones and ultimate the ridiculous and seemingly mythical HB 10's.  What I can work on is trying to act that same with girl I am more attracted to because I do all the micro behaviors and body language right when I act like I did with this girl on the dance floor.  

I did okay:
I like to beat myself up in these blogs but I should be happy that I stayed after my friends left and still made myself approach.  That venue, as I always say, is more difficult because there a bunch of groups that know each other.  It sucked being by myself but I did my best to minimize the time I spent playing with my phone.  

I made myself keep approaching and tried to stay in a good mood.  It's just disappointing that I couldn't create any results.  I can only control my effort and I gave it a decent shot.  I just am frustrated that I got a good response from that tall girl I liked and I just left.  Dang...

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Saturday in Champaign

Saturday was a disappointing day in that I lost this food contest to someone that I should have beaten.  I think it'll be a good thing as it serves as an additional motivation to start being more serious about that aspect of my life in addition to fitness.  That Saturday with Disney a few weeks ago motivated me but I still haven't been serious enough about preparing for food contests.  Had I won this again, I think I would still lack motivation.

In terms of pickup, it was a good night in that I tried hard.  I was disappointed because we couldn't pull again in a college town but that was setting the expectation a little too high.  It's not like I'm pulling regularly back home so I can't expect to have a good chance when I go on these trips.  

My favorite set of the night was when I made myself open this tall girl that I found probably the most attractive girl of the night.  It was a good reference experience in that she was super friendly.  She wound up being there with her boyfriend who had just placed pretty well in the marathon that day.  I mention this fact because had I not opened, I might have beat myself up about not opening her and it turns out she wasn't even available.  I have several reference experiences of positive experiences with opening tall girls including one blonde last fall that was really into me, so I need to remember that the next time I feel intimidated by one of these girls.  

The later part of the night, we were in this tough venue.  I remember trying hard in the final hour by hitting up a bunch of girls, including on the dance floor.  I still haven't gotten smooth with dance floor openings but at least I'm trying hard there and weathering the rejections.  I even hooked this tall girl on the walk back to the car but her friend cockblocked me.  

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Solid effort: Kissed a married Brazilian

Earlier Friday, I made myself watch some youtube videos about dancing.  I plan on slowly integrating more moves so I can tear up the dance floor solo.  When it's busy or crowded, you can't do much so this isn't going to help with pickup per say.  The videos that did help were two I watched on approaching on the dance floor.  I felt more confident after watching the videos so I made a good amount of dance floor approaches.  It was definitely way more than normal.

I got busted out a bunch but I recognize what I'm doing wrong and I'll try to fix that tomorrow night.  On the positive side, this tall girl was really friendly but someone bumped into me and I got pushed into her.  She then started talking to some guy and I gave up.  I guess that was one spot where I should have pushed more and tried to talk to her.  Still, that was a good reference experience because I'm often intimidated by taller girls, especially blondes that I'm really attracted to, and this shows once again that it's all in my head.  I need to just approach more and yes, some will be nice to me.

Brazilian girl:
This set reminded me of that Polish set in Nashville.  The girl that I seemed to click with the best tonight was married.  Recall that that this Polish girl in Nashville liked me and kept complimenting me, but she had a serious boyfriend and way loyal.  She wouldn't even let me put my hand on her hip.

I opened this Brazilian girl early on in the night.  She was really friendly but she said she was married and introduced me to her friends who she said was single.  I ended up talking to this Columbian girl who was visiting from Florida.  The interaction ended when the big group decided to move to another part of the bar.

Later, I saw the Brazilian girl walking around so I stopped her.  We started dancing in front of each other but she was acting like the Polish girl in Nashville: she would push me away if I got too close and wouldn't let me put my hand on her hip.  She was fine with letting me spin her a few times.

She was very giggly and playful.  I remember I kept thinking, why does this girl have to be married.

Leading her around:
Other than this Mongolian girl I opened earlier, I didn't really have any good prospects, so I decided to just stay with this girl.  I was having fun hanging out with her.  She had mentioned going out for a smoke earlier, so I lead her upstairs.  After dancing there, I lead her outside.  I don't smoke but I was happy to isolate and the cool air felt good since I was getting hot from dancing.  We talked more there and in hindsight, maybe I should have number closed her.

Her story is that she's her for the summer to learn English and her husband is out of the country.

I lead her back inside to the formerly VIP area that's now just a 3rd dance floor area that has seating for bottle service.  It was loud, so I had to speak into her ear.  I was trying to ask her if she watched MMA.  I always ask Brazilian girls this but of course, they usually don't watch it.  She was having a hard time understanding me, and unlike the Asian Brazilian girl that took me out to dinner 2-3 years ago, this one didn't even recognize the name "Anderson Silva."

The kiss:
She was against the wall and I was leaning in and whispering into her ear.  I remember thinking that this was somewhat erotic whispering into her ear like this.  I said whatever I was saying and pulled back, and I immediately noticed the kiss close window open.  Having failed to act in this situation far too many times, I seized on it immediately.  When I pulled back, she tiled her head up, and closed her eyes.

I should be happy that I didn't blow this.  I really was surprised as while she had been playful, she wouldn't really let me dance close to her and her she is wanting to kiss me.  I'm happy with myself that I didn't even hesitate.  I closed my eyes and kissed her.  She pulled back after 5 seconds.  I guess she felt guilty about it.  She apologized for tasting like cigarette, but I said it was okay.

We hung out a little bit more but then she wondered off.  I opened her again and Seagull was trying to tell me to escalate.  I explained later that I had been trying and that I kissed her.  He told me to try to pull.

Sadly, after she wandered off that time, I never saw her again.  Seagull pointed out to me that her friends were long gone.

The right move might have been to just follow her around the club and try to reengage or to just wait till she seemed like she was going to leave and then open her again and try to walk out with her.

The night wasn't perfect in that I went home alone but I still am excited that I gave a really good effort tonight.  I kissed a girl I was really attracted to and I never expected that she would want to kiss me.  Again, I wisely went for the kiss when the opportunity presented itself instead of hesitating or just not being brave enough to make a move.  It blows my mind the kind of things that are possible now that my game has improved.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Seeing the missed opportunities every night

The Minnesota girl from the last report was decently high buying temperature.  I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough because the game/the matrix is opening up to me.  Until lately, I'd waste my time trying to force myself to keep opening or to maintain a good state.  The past few days, I seem to notice more important things, like when girls are high buying temperature.

I was being overly dramatic with the last post.  I do realize the same lesson I've been hammering into my head for the past two weeks.  These a re good problems to have.  It sure beats getting busted out all night or spending half the night standing around in self doubt.  We were active throughout the night, and I didn't really have an extended period where my state crashed or I felt like I should be opening something.

The funny thing is that the girl from last Thursday seems eager to meet up on Friday.  I don't really like to set up Day 2's on Friday or Saturday because those are the best night to sarge.  I'm making an exception because this girl is off on Thursdays and Fridays only and she's a single mother so I need to take advantage of when she can meet.  My plan is to calibrate based on how the Day 2 is going.  If I think the chances of a lay are good, I'll hang with her all night and try to pull her to my place.  If it doesn't seem like it's going to happen Friday, I'll cut it short and sarge.

The lesson from tonight is too keep doing the good things I'm doing but to keep working on my sticking points.  I still think Tuesday and Wednesday could have been a hell of a lot more interesting if I just went that extra step.

Another Night, Another Fuck up

I realize I'm being overly negative with the title of this post.  There was a set that I was in for awhile that I should have number closed.  It's stupid that I wouldn't even do it.  Seagull and I got into this two set and I thought this was gonna be the set of the night.  The conversation was going well.  It was the typical girl lately that I do really well with: I haven't completed the LR from this weekend, but that girl was similar.  I'm talking late 20's or older and educated.  The one from this weekend is working on her PhD and this one was working on some MD/PhD program.

The set got messed up when Seagull's target went to the bathroom.  She was gone for awhile and my girl decided to go follow here.  We stayed by the bar as my target had left her phone and the friend had left a backpack.  They came back and were talking to themselves so Seagull and I just talked to ourselves.  We might have done that too long as they left again.  We decided to walk around and I told them the one girl had left her bag by the bar.

I returned about 5-10 minutes later, and the girls gave me the "girls night out BS."  The friend/Seagull's target wanted to talk about some work drama, and I just said, "Hey, try to be positive.  Don't be negative!"

The move was go back later and number close my girl.  I kept procrastinating it and when I finally went up, I saw them just as they were literally walking out the door.  If I had gone a few minutes earlier, I would have been ok.  My target said it was nice talking to me and hugged me.  I asked her if she was single, but this was as she was walking out the door.  I swear she said yes but I wasn't sure.  I didn't want to follow them out so that was it.  In retrospect, I should have followed out because I had nothing to lose at that point.

Beyond that, I should have just taken a number early on.  I enjoyed talking to her and while I wasn't all over her, I was at least doing some light kino.  I think I didn't go for the number because I really thought we were going to be able to stay in this set all night.  When a set is going really well, I should just number close because I never know what's going to happen.

I feel stupid that I screwed up something that should be beginner game at this point in my sarging experience.

Saying dumb shit:
I haven't done this in awhile, but I did it with this Minnesota set.  Well, that was the final screw up.   RSD Jeffy says that often you just have to avoid saying stupid shit.  I said this comment that was sort of a neg when I went to open her like the 3-4 time, and it made her insecure and pissed off.

I might have screwed it up even earlier.  Seagull and I opened this 2-set.  We had talked about how we should try switching girls after Tuesday night.  My girl wasn't really responding and I heard Seagull's girl mention Minnesota.    Since I went up there 4 times last year, it gave me something to talk about.  I asked our question that is code for if we want to switch targets and Seagull agreed.

It was so much better after we switched.   I don't really remember how, but the set ended up ending.  I opened them again by the bathrooms when Seagull went to talk a piss.  This is where I was afraid to kino.  It's dumb how I still suffer from this sticking point.  It just pops up even when I've done better kino earlier in the night.  My mind was screaming at me, "Just get closer and grab her hands" but I couldn't make myself do it.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

LR: Finally broke the dry spell: Part 1: Meeting her

These logs, especially the most recent ones, have been mostly about my screw ups.  Since I'm in a writing mode from my bad night, I might as well write about this success from this weekend.  

Art Event & Fashion show:
The evening started with Prodigy and I attending this 3rd Fridays event at the Brideport Gallery area or whatever it's officially called.  We ended up walking to this fashion show happening in the same building.  Apparently, people are supposed to check in at the entrance and get a bracelet, but I just walked in.  I wish we would have stayed for the show but instead I opened two sets and then wanted to go the actual galleries.  There were 3 sets we interacted with there until coming back to the fashion show around closing time.  

I've been telling everyone that I've never seen so many hot girls in one place anywhere in Chicago.  We missed the show, but some of the girls obviously were models from the show.  There were a bunch of 6 ft tall or so girls with really beautiful faces and model type bodies.  Sadly, I didn't have the confidence to approach any of them, but I did open some of the other girls.  Prodigy and I commented later about how we felt all the girls we opened there were really friendly.  

No free drinks:
We wanted to hit the club where Disney promotes but we passed by at 11:05pm and couldn't find parking.  Disney kept saying he wanted to free drinks when we finally parked far away and I said if he really wanted them, he should have offered to pay for the parking.  I normally would pay $4 parking for 3 free drinks but I didn't plan on drinking as I had a food contest the next day.

By the time we finally walked by Sound Bar, it was clear we wouldn't get in in time for the drinks so we walked to another venue.  There was a bunch of people from this teacher convention.  I actually was feeling out of state from leaving the club and walking but I made myself open as soon as I walked into the venue.  A few random comments later to various girls, and I was back in state.

High buying temp on the Dance Floor:
There was this chubby girls dancing.  She caught my attention because prior to this, I had been the only one dancing.  I danced by her and started talking to her.  She was giving me obvious IOI's and this time I did the right thing and started to dance closer to her and ramp up kino.  It's weird that tonight, I wouldn't be able to do this.

I think I did it on Friday because I was in a better state.  Also, this was the same venue several weeks ago, where this woman had giving me obvious IOI's and I failed to do anything.  

Moving her around:
I was on that night because we were standing and talking and then I decided to move us to a table.  Many times, I've just stood in the same spot even though I know I'm suppose to move the girl but tonight I decided to do things right.  We sat down, kept talking, and soon we were making out.  

I just remember there was this pause and we looked into each other's eyes and I just went for it.  It helped that my chair was close to her and I had been keeping up the kino.

A friend (later I found out, one of her best friends who was also in town for the conference), came by to check on her and my target said, "I'm fine.  Go ahead.  I'll text you when I get back to the room."

I actually made a bad assumption here.  That exchange prompted me to ask what hotel she was staying at,but I didn't ask her room situation and just assumed she had her own room.  I'd find out later that she had two roommates (and it was with two women she wasn't close too.  I had assumed it was that friend and someone else.)

I decided to move her out side and go for the pull.  Part of me just wanted to stay there but I knew I had to try to walk her out of there.  I finally made myself try to get her outside.  I was following Julian's words of just baby stepping it.  I got her outside.  

I offered to walk her to the hotel but she wasn't ready so I decided to walk us by the Rock n Roll Mcdonald's.  I wasn't going to eat anything, again because I had a food contest the next day.  She said she wasn't hungry, so I just took her upstairs to look at the artifacts they have up there.  After that, I brought her to look at the special Corvette they had outside.  

We had a long conversation there.  I'll say that she and I really connected on a lot of things and we were able to just keep talking.  It seemed like we could talk forever.  We made out some more there. I think I threw out the idea of walking back to her hotel and hanging out there but this is when she told me she had two roommates.  

I decided to walk towards my car.  I forgot to mention that it was a beautiful night.  It was warm so walking was pleasant.  I felt it might be weird to walk to where I was parked as there was this abandoned church next to where I parked, so I told her she could wait by this club (it happened to be the club where Disney got 5 girls and us the free entrance and bottle service a week ago.)  I decided it would be dumb to leave her in front of the club.  I don't think any guy would have picked her up, but you never know.  Guys sense high buying temp and make moves and I like to try to make high probability moves.  I walked to the street where I was parked and pointed out that I was just a block down.  

I'm sad this evening is coming to an end:
That's what she said as we were talking in the car.  I was trying to figure out my move.  I thought if I got to the car, I could try to get her to come home with me, but I haven't mentioned that I had the complication that Prodigy and I had carpooled.  I had to somehow get him home.  I thought that maybe I could do what Seagull did with me and make her comfortable with Prodigy riding with us.  

When I mentioned going to my place, she said "I don't know you well enough to go back to your place."

I think I knew it then and I know it now that I can't expect a yes too often with that move.  I need to just talk up and after party or White Castle and then just start driving towards my place while just keeping a fun conversation going for the 30 minute drive.  

I was glad she rejected it because I knew that the next day, or in 10 hours at that point, I had to leave to go to Detroit for a food contest.  I knew that would involve me getting little sleep, driving 5 hours, doing the contest, sarging Ann Arbor or East Lansing, and then likely driving 5 hours home unless we pulled (Disney came with and we tried our best to try to pull but to no avail.)  She had said she had to get to the conference at 8:30am so if she did come home with me, I'd get no sleep as I'd have to wake up and drive her back, then drive back to my area so I could meet up with Disney to go to Detroit.  

Here till Monday:
I found out she was here until Monday.  She asked me if I could hang out Saturday but I had to remind her that I was going to Detroit.  I said we could meet up Sunday afternoon.  

We made plans in front of her hotel.  After we got in my car, we talked and I drove to the hotel.  Prodigy finally called me just as we were sitting in front of the hotel.  His phone had died, which I knew was going to happen and I was worrying how to find him.  He told me had had used this security guard's charger at the gas station.  

Wasted a High Buying Temp Girl B/c of Self Doubt

It's funny in that I seem most motivated lately to make posts when it concerns screw ups.  I broke my super long streak of not getting laid this weekend and I haven't even bothered to write the field report but here I am writing about some slow night.

I was opening several sets early and then when we got to this bar at the end, I was really out of it.  Part of it is that I was almost sober and a problem with cheat codes is you can either get too drunk at the end, or since I count my drinks so I'll be sober at the end, I end up being likely to hit a state crash as I'm sobering up just at the end of the night.  Of course, the end of the night is when the pulls, and sometimes easy pulls open, but not if you are in a shit state.  Add to that the fact that I was feeling thirsty and decided to not get water at the bar and I shouldn't be surprised that I wasn't feeling confident.

The bars were full of guys because of the Blackhawks playoff game and this game went forever.  It finally ended in triple overtime.  We spotted a 2-set and Seagull opened them.  The girl I was talking to was this short, petite brunette.  She was really cute and was lean. I later found out she had this giant arm tattoos that I'm not really into, but she was attractive nonetheless.  On top of that, she was high buying temperature.

My lesson from this weekend should be that when I sense high buying temperature, I need to immediately ramp up the kino, or in my shit state, immediately close the distance and START kino.  I was glad that I asked Seagull RSD Derek's advice of "ask your wing why you suck."  It's obvious that I wasn't doing any kino, but when I was thinking about my screw ups, I glosses right over that.

At one point, someone ran into her arm and part of her beer spilled on her arm.  I was giggling about it, and then she started to wipe her arm on my shirt.  I freaked out and than grabbed her some napkins.  Unfortunately, the girls wanted to play pool. Initially, this girl asked us if we would play.  I didn't really want to as I'm terrible at pool.  Then the guys that were next said they'd play with the girls.  That was a blessing in that I didn't want to play, but I knew the guys were gonna try to sarge the girls and would be a distraction.

Later on, I realized I missed a chance to be funny/playful with the beer incident.  When she wiped the beer on me, I could have said something like, "You naughty girl.  You're looking to get spanked aren't you."

The girls played pool and we looked around for another set.  Seagull opened this Asian girl who ended up being high buying temperature as well.  He was smart enough to ramp up his kino.  I tried to talk to the friend, but she was completely plastered.  She wasn't responding to what I was saying.  I kept plowing and she finally said something incoherent.  I gave up and just hung by Seagull and this girl ended up spilling her drink a few minutes later so the Asian girl decided it was time for them to go home.

Self Doubt at the End:
I forgot to mention that my target from earlier pointed out some guy and told me, "See that guy over there.  I fucked him like 5 years ago and it's weird seeing him again."

Now her mentioning this is just another clue of how she was out to get laid tonight.  After the pool game, I saw her sitting at the table with that guy.  I realized she really was horny and she decided to start talking to that guy again as she had already hooked up with him.

I knew that the move was to go over there and get her attention and get her away from the guy.  Seagull kept trying to push me to go in but I just didn't feel confident.

Later, I said that I knew I wasn't in the right state and I was afraid to go in and looked stupid and not get the set.  I figured I'd feel even more shitty about getting blown out after forcing myself to go back in.

As I'm writing this, I think that I should have forced myself to go back it.

I just gave up to some guy that wasn't good looking, didn't seem to have that good of game.  The funny thing is even as this was going down and I wasn't doing anything, I didn't think  the guys were better than me, I just didn't feel like I was in the right state.  Stupid.

Self doubt has gotten me nothing over the year:
This is what I was thinking as I was driving home.  I'm sick of doubting myself but I keep having to struggle with it.  The reality is that this will always be a struggle but days like today where I experienced it at a key point in the evening really hurt.

I also experienced it briefly at the second venue.  First, I never did open this set in the corner that Seagull and I kept talking about though I did open most of the other sets in the bar.  My second mistake was when Seagull opened this hot, dressed up girls.  Two were dancing and I knew the move was to bust out my dance moves and dance with them.  To be fair, I was asking a lot of myself to do that as I still haven't gotten completely comfortable with dance floor.

Seagull trying at the end:
I told him that he should have pushed for the pull.  I would have wanted him to pull my target rather than the guy from 5 years ago getting the lay.  Seagull saw the girl outside with that guy and this other guy by the smoking area.  He went right in and starting talking to her.  Then he started talking to the guy and was telling me he was running distraction on the guy for me.

I told him later that he should have just tried to pull the set.  He said he didn't want to steal my set.  I said that we have to have a code word for when it's okay. I really wanted him to make the move since I wasn't doing anything.

Bad night is a missed pull opportunity:
I guess I should again find comfort in this night like I did that Saturday screw up where I missed the lay.  This night was slow and seemed shitty all the way to this missed opportunity.  Once again, these shitty nights are so much better than the shitty night I used to have in the past.

Bad nights seem to help me anyway.  It compelled me to write this and I think I'll do better over the next few days as I'm again pissed off and motivated to do better.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Allowing myself partial credit: Ditched & Solo at the Club

This lesson goes along with my previous post.  I realize that I am often a man of extremes and I don't do well in the middle.  As I said in my last post, I've struggled with feeling like I suck at something if I'm not the best.  Tonight, I battled with a similar lesson of giving myself some credit for what I did tonight and not just focusing on what I really should have done if I were to have done things correctly.  

Exercise partial credit:
I found out last minute that I was going to attend this men's group that my friend has been asking me to attend.  I had forgotten about it and when I woke up to a message from him, I decided it was a good day to make him happy.  It ended up being a worthwhile event.

Before that, I was left with not enough time to exercise.  I wanted to run 4-6 miles but I had time for 2-3, and I ended up cutting it short to 2, which turned out to be wise as I would have been pressed for time otherwise.  

In the past, I would have been pissed off that I didn't get the whole work out in and/or I might have just blown it off because 2 miles is shit compared to what I really planned on doing.  

I ended up doing a partial workout when I got home.  I was debating doing a full body workout, but I just did legs since I had done that last Friday and I don't want to wait longer than 5 days to work those muscles again.  I could have forced myself to do the full body but I decided I was just going to go with my mother tomorrow.  

I thought about how if I had just done these little work outs instead of quitting for 2-3 months, I wouldn't have gotten as fat and it wouldn't have been as rough of a comeback.  

I normally have reliable friends as I'll stop making plans with flakes.  I ended up in a situation where I ended up telling my friend that I had plans to go to this club with Disney after the men's group.  Seagull said he was coming out.  I ended up at the ten o'clock meeting time taking advantage of my gift card, but also screwing up my training.  I would have liked to not have eaten anything so I could max out at the buffet tomorrow but instead I ate too many calories.  I think that's why I was able to make myself do a workout so I could at least put the calories towards something. 
I don't even care that they couldn't come out, I just hate that I didn't find out until later.  Disney said he was coming out after the Blackhawks game, but that went to double overtime and I wasn't surprised when he said around 11:15 that he was just gonna go home.  

I was aggravated that I could have been out with my friend that I didn't make plans with and that I was stuck at Bar Louie by myself.

Sarging solo:
I've progressed enough the past two weeks that I'm fine with being solo, but I'd rather know ahead of time.  I would have just went out in the suburbs to this place I used to go to every Wednesday night three years ago just to check it out.  Again, I also could have stayed out with my friend.  

I could have just driven home, but I decided I might as well check out this club that Disney started promoting.  I'd keep some momentum going by forcing myself to do approaches (well it turned out to be one approach), and I'd know if the club was worth doing over the other venues we frequent on Wednesday.

I walked in and was surprised how small the area was for tonight.  They had totally remodeled this place from what it was another venue and I think they closed off half the club since they anticipated it being slow on a spring Wednesday.  

I immediately opened this seated two set but she busted me out a few mins in.  I suppose I could/should've done RSD Alex's idea of plowing 4 times and then giving up.  When she told me, "We're having a girls night out" I just gave up but I suppose I could have plowed.  The thing was that it was a few mins in so I figured I hadn't hooked it so why bother.

Waiting too long:
I approached that immediately and then I just started dancing by myself near the dance floor.  I thought about opening this group of girls by the bottle service area.  It turns out I should have just went right over there.  Instead, I waited, and then this bouncer about 40 minutes in decides to tell me that I need to dance more away from the carpeted area.  It was stupid; if you could see where I was dancing, I was fine where I was.  What it did do was make me definitely not want to open any girls in that area.  

The lesson was if I just opened them earlier, I wouldn't have procrastinated it, and I would have looked like I knew the set.  

Girl wants to dance with me:
At least I got some positive feedback.  There was this other table with two guys and two girls. Again, I was dancing solo the entire time.  I was hard on myself Saturday because that was the wrong time to entertain myself, but I should give myself credit for being at this place alone and being able to just have fun without sitting there looking stupid by playing with my phone (which was low battery anyway) or looking stupid standing there doing nothing.  

The two girls started dancing near the area between the carpeted and tile area where I had been dancing previously.  Suddenly, about ten minutes after they started, while I was still dancing by myself, this blonde came over and tapped me on the shoulder.  Before I could try to dance with her, the brunette friend pulled her away.  I had seen these girls with the two guys in the seating area and they did look together so I didn't really follow through.  

About 5 minutes later, the girls danced in front of the dj, so I moved over there and danced near the blonde, but then the brunette dragged her away again.

Partial credit vs What I should have done:
Here is the point of this whole post.  I should give myself some credit for being out solo after getting ditched and opening right away.  I also had fun by myself and did so well enough that the blonde was interested in me even though her guy was likely there.  

I kept thinking about how I should have done things.  If I were to do things right, again, I should have opened the 4 girls, 1 guy set in the seating area.  I should have opened these two girls that came in late and were near me, but then went to the other seating area.  I felt like I should have talked to some guys to make friends in the venue. 

It's my nature to want to beat myself up for not doing things perfectly or giving an even better effort, but I should be happy that I didn't just go home and that I did do some things right despite my friends making it harder for me this evening.  

I'll close by saying that if I do something little every day, and if I try to do more each time than I did the last time, then I'll keep advancing.  It's so much better to at least do some sort of effort that to just stay home or go home or just do nothing.  

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Inner Loser Vs Being a cool guy

I found this gem of a video today that really fits my situation.  It's a combination RSDMax/Tyler video:
I found this gem of a video:
The real relevant part starts around the 15 min mark and the key point is at 16:31.  My issue doesn't manifest itself in me thinking girls are sluts or in me rationalizing not wanting to get laid.  Instead, I feel self doubt and I fail to escalate or I actually do just run away like I did Saturday night.  

He gives an evolutionary explanation for why my mind is thinking these thoughts.  

My problem comes down to an inner conflict.  

Objectively, it's obvious that I'm no longer that AFC loser that couldn't get any girls.  Part of me knows that I've turned into a cool PUA for the most part.  

Tyler says, "If you're a cool guy, you're gonna start having opportunities to have sex."  
I must still feel like a loser inside.  He explains that if you do so, it creates conflict and confusion.  

Sometimes I believe it.  I did write a post a few weeks ago where I realized I had an amazing night.  I even titled it, "I was that cool guy in the club."  

I couldn't accept it Saturday night that I was a cool guy that these girls would have fun hanging out with and could find attractive.  I think  I probably also had an unrealistic expectation of how the girls were supposed to react to me when they were hanging out with us.  My doubt didn't extend to Disney.  I can see the good qualities of my wings and as I've written before, I'm sure they view me in that positive light.  When I see them doubting themselves, I really do think, "Why are you're doubting yourself, you have all the reasons to be confident."  When I view myself, I'm often too harsh.  It's good to be harsh if I have a screw up last night, but I'll be harsh in the moment.  

At the beginning, it's not like the girls were reacting that much better to Disney.  Arguable, I was in a better state in that I was dancing around and having fun.  I was even joking around with the cab driver.  

I did see myself as the inner loser and kept filtering things to support that view.  

It's so stupid.  An objective observer could not have said that.  It would be frustrating to see me fail to act, but I seem to have forgotten in the moment how it really would be to the awkward, loser guy in that situation.  

I don't need to imagine it.  I can just think back to how I would have acted in a similar situation years ago.  I would have been so nervous talking to any of the girls.  Depending on my stage of the game, there's no way I would have been dancing at all.  I might have been huddling on the couch starting at the floor with bad body language.  Even if I was at a stage where I'd talk to the girls, I might have done miscalibrated things or had to rely on routines and fake stories to keep the conversation going.  

Cool guy behavior?:
I still have to write the actual main field report, but I've already mentioned some of the things I did do right through out the night.  When we walked into the first venue, I was a in a fun mood, shaking hands with Disney's promoter friend that hooked us up and then dancing around our bottle service area while every one else was trying to get their evening started.  I mentioned in this post that I had to take a separate cab and I got stuck with the two new girls.  Now, ideally I would have taken the chance to talk to them, but at least I made myself joke around with the cab driver.  It amuses me how I really can be funny sometimes.  I remember saying several things that came to my mind that improved the cab driver's day and made him giggle.  I'd later repeat this in the Uber ride to the last venue, even though I had already started to plummet into my shitty state.  

I've mentioned that even when I stupidly ran off on my own in the last venue, I was still having fun and trying to talk to girls.
Just as I was finishing this post, I realized another contributing factor is me being around some really cool, alpha guys
This was an issue I had at times going out with Nintendo and Andydufresne.  This weekend, I was looking at myself in comparison to Big P and Tall T, and then Disney when he got out of his shell and really starting gaming.  

Yeah I was doing a bunch of things right.  To anyone watching and probably to my group, I really was a cool guy having a great time.  I really was enjoying myself in spite of knowing I was screwing up/knowing I had screwed up.  I wrote that sentence that way in that part of me did acknowledge that the whole fucking weekend was an amazing experience despite missing the chance to really make it memorable and epic.  

I could only see how I was missing the aspects that could bring me to the next level.  I kept thinking about how I wasn't as alpha and dominant as Big P.  I kept thinking about how I wasn't as fun and carefree as Tall P.  I kept thinking, "Yeah, I could see why they think Disney is the shit because he is the one setting all of this up."  I love Disney.  It really is true that the night always turns out into some sort of adventure when I go out with him. My problem is when I recognize that, I then put myself down and feel like somehow these other guys being so awesome means that I somehow suck because I'm not at their level or better.  

This can be a positive trait:
Paradoxically, that same part of my personality that creates this inner doubt and makes me view only my negative qualities when surrounded by greatness is also a part that has driven me to succeed and be motivated at many times in my life.  This part of me why I get pissed off and motivated and really push myself to improve.  

Just because I'm not the best doesn't mean that I suck.

I think that's a good way to summarize the mindset that I have to adopt to help push through my sticking point.  Just because I'm around cooler and more alpha guys doesn't mean that I suck.  I'm not being fair to myself as well.  They might have certain qualities that I wish I could were better in me, but that doesn't mean I don't have my own strengths in areas that they lack.  Even if I am around someone that is objectively better than me in every area of life doesn't mean that that I somehow have no value and that the girls aren't going to like me.

This is especially true in our situation this weekend.  There were 5 girls on Friday with us and 6 girls on Saturday.  Even if say Big P is/was totally fucking awesome and Tall P is the guy all the girls want, as an example, it's not like there aren't going to be any girls left for me.  Again, it does not mean that I'm now a total loser that no girl in the group would want.  I'm being too hard on myself by thinking like that.  All of these girls were attractive and just because Tall P is one girls type doesn't mean that I can't be another girl's type.  

Again, I seem to forget that I am not that the awkward, socially inept, quiet guy I used to be that no girl in the group would like.  I was doing a lot of things right this weekend and if I had just accepted that and escalated my interactions, I would have had an even more fun night and had sex.  

Pissed off, motivated Leads to a Productive Day

I woke up and I just felt motivated to get things done.  There's some dumb stuff I've been procrastinating like getting this bicycle out of my car and I just decided to go do it.  Last night just made me realize that my life isn't the way I want it to be is mainly a failure to execute.  Again, I had a decent chance, heck, a good chance, to have sex last night but I just froze and gave up.   Today was an epiphany but it made me realize that it's time to take action in all the other things I've been trying to commit to doing.  

I've been more consistent with my workouts.  I actually got in two weight work outs this week and I've been running regularly.  Today has me certain I'll stick to this and be even more dedicated.  My motivation extended to the diet as well.  I want to get back in shape so my better clothes will fit, so I stay healthy, and because it will help with competitive eating.  I've been lazy because I just didn't have the drive that I did when I thought it would help with women.  Today, I got my free food and committed to just giving it to my mother.  Instead I kept the calories low and at volume and did liquid training.

That's another aspect of my life I neglected: diet for weight loss but I'm also talking about setting up my diet for training for my eating events.  

I realized that I all these various aspects of my life that I've been neglecting chip away at my sense of confidence and entitlement so getting on track with them will help with pickup.  I just need to take action instead of allow myself to just wallow in mediocrity.  

I really think this screw up was a good thing in that if I had just made the little effort more and gotten laid, I wouldn't have been motivated to step up my life game.  

Part 2: Milwaukee Girls & the Three "Canadians"

Sidenote: No wonder I stopped making these posts.  I write too much and this take forever... I'm probably going to have to sleep and I haven't even gotten to Saturday night yet, which is the whole stimulus to me taking the time to write out this weekend in detail.  I need to find a way to take less time writing reports and still getting the value I get from doing so in detail.  The value is how I'm able to review and analyze the night and force myself to make improvement.

Disney promotes too much?:
I say that because 2j and I agreed years ago that Disney uses this angle too much.  He often opens sets by just trying to tell them that he's a promoter.  I can't knock him now because it works and I got to see first hand how well it works.  My only issue with it is that I think it would be more solid to just open in a normal way, and then bring up the promoter bit after he's actually hooked the set.

Splitting the work: The Canadians:
A complaint I have about certain guys I go out with is that I end up being forced to do most, if not all the work of opening.  When I'm on, I don't care as much because I'm an opening machine.  I can just go around and have my own fun despite what these guys may or may not be doing.  It's so much nicer to be out with a wing that's going to open if I'm being hesitant.  Disney fits in the later category, for sure!  He almost always like my best version of me as an opening machine.  Despite 2j's and my criticism in the previous paragraph, 2j did always say that Disney's frame is unwavering.

Edit: I should point out that I've said as much to these wings. Well, one of them, I need to have a talk with as I haven't talked to him in awhile, but the other is well aware of this issue.  

Tyler has explained the theory of how the strongest frame in a social interaction almost always is the one that wins out.  A example from my own game of how this works is as follows.  I can think of several examples, including one recently on St Patrick's Day this year, where I was in a great state and I opened a girl who immediately tried to blow me out.  I opened this 3-set and my target immediately tried to blow me off with the, "We're having a girl's night out" blow off.

If I'm in a bad state, or just warming up, I'll just give up, or worse feel deflated as I walk off.  In this case, I didn't react at all.  I didn't feel rejected, I just plowed on with something else, and literally a few seconds later, her demeanor turns completely opposite: she suddenly is giving me anime eyes and it's soon clear she's really into me.

Disney is almost always approaching and with little hesitation.  I aspire to be as unwavering as he is when he decides to open a set.  I can remember the 1-2 time when I saw him hesitating: that's how rare it is for him to be like that.

If girls give him a weird look, it does not affect him AT ALL.  Sure he gets busted out like everyone does, but he does not get affected.  That's important for not creating negative momentum.  He also doesn't flinch or react if they give him a weird look or some blow off line.  He'll keep plowing and a decent number of times, he plows through the resistance by the strength of his frame.

I think he's improved the promoter spiel he uses because it seems to work almost every night.  I didn't remember until later that the 3 Latina girls that meet up with us for the free bottle service came out of this short set he opened by the coat check.  We'll call them the "Canadians" for reasons Disney will understand but which I won't explain here.

You never know which set is going to work:
I would have sworn those girls wouldn't have come out.  I remembered this set later.  He had two girls attention and I ended up talking to this white blouse Latina that we both ranked highly out of the 5 (and later 2 additional girls who showed up on Saturday).  The girl I was most attracted to was a girl I'll introduce in the next section who I'll call Milwaukee Ragdoll.  I'd ranked White Blouse next, followed by tall Latina, the HJ queen and then the others.

Disney's spiel sounds good: He tells them he's a promoter and he can get them in free to this other club and he tells them he's getting bottle service.  I'll admit that my PUA indoctrination wants to fight against this as it seems like trying to buy girls affections.  The thing is that it really is part of his job: the guy he works for is happy if he bring good looking girls over for the bottle service.  I can't say this is supplication because on Friday we didn't spent anything other than the $3 I tipped for my usual 3 free drinks.  I just feel, again, that if he opened it like a normal PUA would, hooked the set, and then mentioned this bit, I think it would be more solid.

I think, as I write this, that it works in the way that Tyler talked about number closes in general.  Tyler said there are two ways to farm (farm being my word) phone numbers.  One way is to try to number close every set, no matter how short, and the other is to just try to number close the longer sets or set that seem "more solid."  Tyler said, that after trying both, he ended up getting Day 2's from the same number of girls regardless of the method.  When he number closed many sets, the percentage turnout would be low(er), whereas the "solid" sets wouldn't all pan out, so he'd wind up with a similar number.  Maybe  I should go back to farming phone numbers on a mass scale.  I used to get more Day 2's and I haven't gotten any in forever actually.

Of course, I know this lesson, but I don't seem to have been following what it means.  I know that club or night game in general number closes often are flaky.  Quickly, the reasons are girls drinking, there being so many guys that approach and number close, and so on.  I think my issue is that I'm trying to learn how to pull, but now that I'm writing this, I swear I'm going to go back the method of mass farming numbers.  If I hook a set, I'm number closing: that's my method next time I go out and into the foreseeable future.  (He's a lesson I probably wouldn't have internalized had I not been posting these blogs again).  

The Milwaukee Connection:
We were just about to leave the venue to hit the bottle service venue.  Part of me was remembering the time before my ATL adventures where Disney and I got in a cab with two thin Irish girls and we couldn't get in, so I wasn't feeling confident in the bottle but was in with Disney for the adventure regardless.  At the same time, on Thursday I had gotten a free drink from the promotion bottle service so I was feeling more confident it was going to work out.  What I wasn't sure about was which, if any, of the sets he closed with the promoter spiel was going to meet us.

I decided to approach this 2-set : a black girl and this white girl who had braids in her hair.  I found out they were from Milwaukee and were celebrating recently (within the last two weeks for the other girl) turning 21.  The white girl is the favorite I mentioned above who I am calling Ragdoll.  The African-American girl will just be referred to as "Milwaukee" due to lack of creativity at 9am.

Disney has a card for a free shot and he says he'll get Ragdoll any shot she wants for her birthday.  He had been talking about the bottle service prior to this.  He starts leading them towards the front.  I thought we were going to the front bar for the shot, but the next thing I know, we're leaving the club with them.

We start walking towards the bottle service club.  Disney talks to Milwaukee and I talk to Ragdoll.  Now, I'll explain why I named her "Ragdoll."  I have Ragdoll cats.  I used to show my cat pictures all the time, but now that I have to unlock the screen and look up the pics, I don't (though I should just make it the lock screen pic like I used to have).  I probably showed my cats to thousands of girls over the years.  Only two girls have recognized my cats as being Ragdolls and this girl is one of them!

The cats only came up because she was playing with her phone and I saw a picture of her cat, so naturally, I lead the conversation towards that.  Unfortunately, I saw a picture of a guy with the cat, and other pics of a guy who I was almost certain was her boyfriend.  Now I know that doesn't matter, and I even have that recent reference experience with that true Canadian being all over me in front of her boyfriend.  As I type this, I knew that held me back a little bit Friday.  It turns out that it might not have mattered had I done things right Saturday.

This is how you be Alpha:
The last two days, I've been working on being more dominant.  This has been an ongoing process since my early days of game, but reading about Derek and listening to his what little stuff he has out there has made me focus on this the last few days.  I think of two things.  In one video, Derek basically says that if I don't believe I can be the boss in the club and out alpha the other guys there, then "how the fuck do I expect her to believe it?"  (I believe that quoted part is close to verbatim.) Saturday, I read something on the RSD forums which was a review of Derek's Chicago Free tour and a description of sarging with Derek(sadly I missed that due to an eating contest).  One of the lessons there was that Derek is dominant (but not the try hard way that comes to mind when you think of someone trying to be totally alpha).  It was described as being totally dominant, but not try hard.  Derek was described also as a person who NEVER supplicates or tries to qualify himself to ANYONE.

I can be alpha and dominant at times, but I need to work on always being like that.  Sometimes, I just let myself be weak.  I'm talking about stupid stuff like not being seated where I want to at a restaurant or not being clear when dealing with clerks or whatever.  Of course, I'm often not doing things properly when it comes to women.

The above was a tangent but now I realize that's an important concept I need to further attempt to internalize.  The original point of this section was to describe how Disney's main promoter guy just showed the door guys what was up at our late night bottle service spot on Friday.  Sadly, he couldn't achieve the same feat the next day at this hip club: he was told there that the girls we brought weren't good looking enough.  (Disney and I talked about this later.  We think our top three girls were worthy, but Milwaukee, and the two new comers on Saturday were the ones that the bouncers didn't like).

When we got the the venue, we were there with Milwaukee and Ragdoll after having walked from the other club.  This is when I saw the three Canadians from the coat check.  Disney tried to get the 5 girls and I in using his promoter password and the guy told him we had to pay $10 because it was after 1:30.  Disney tried to be persuasive but to no avail.  This tall promoter guy who henceforth will be known as "Tall P" showed up.

Tall P would soon show as an example of how we were to suppose to act on Saturday if we wanted to do things right when the day repeated.  Here, he tried to do what Disney attempted, in a slightly more alpha way, but he was also rejected.

I was thinking this was going to be like the Irish set where we couldn't get in and would look stupid.  I had told Disney before we left the other place that I wasn't paying to get in if it turned out like that one night.

Suddenly this big (as in height and also fat) guy came who we'll call Big P.  Big P is the main guy that Disney works under.  Big P was told initially the same stuff: the promo is no good after 1:30 and we all had to pay.

At that instant, I thought we were done, but then I'll never forget how fucking cool the next minute or so was.  Big P talked to another door guy and then was let in to talk to the maanger/owner (he obviously was the boss there but I don't know his actual posistion).  The next thing I hear is that boss/owner apologizing to Big P, and soon he's pointing to our 5 girls, Tall P, Disney, and I.  The door guys check our ID's and we're in for FREE!

VIP & Bottle:
Now we finally made it to the VIP table.  If anyone has bothered to read all of this, this has been a long journey of text, and it felt like a long journey that night.  We were sitting in the booth behind this table with a bunch of good looking girls.  I knew the bottle was likely as I had a free drink from one on Thursday but part of me still doubted this was going to happen this evening.  Sure enough, just a few minutes later, I get to watch the bottle with the sparkler come to our table.

I remember thinking, "Wow, this is the shit!  This cool to have a free bottle and to be at a table with a bunch of cute girls.  This is how I should roll!"

I had a big smile on my face and I was dancing behind the table. It sure feels great to have your own private area while the masses are stuck on the crowded public areas.

I think we were happy just to make it this far:
That line summarizes what went wrong after this.  We walked with two girls we just met and I had been talking to a girl I was really attracted to the whole walk over.  Now I had three more girls that Disney had venue changed with his promoter gig and I got to experience VIP comp bottle service.

I appreciated the moment.  We had done our best at the eating contest.  I had pulled what I thought was an upset and won money.  Disney had done as best as he could and won a prize, which felt great, not only because it was his first contest, but of course because that ridiculously spicy food contest was such a horrible experience in contrast.  Again, we were with cute girls that we brought and at a free table, and I had spent $3 the whole evening in bar fees!

I was too busy dancing by the table and later I'd go on the dance floor and I'd dance by myself and near Disney.  Dancing by myself seemed to be my theme for this weekend.  It's great that I can do that when years ago I was terrified to be on the dance floor.  It's stupid to do so when you have cute girls to talk to and girls that I could try to dance with and hopefully grind with seductively.

Tall P shows us how it's done:
Early on, Tall P showed us a glimpse of how we were supposed to deal with this merged 5-set (to use Mystery terms).  Tall P, while not as alpha as Big P, is damn confident and is fun.  I can have fun by myself, but Tall P takes it to the next level but not giving a fuck.  I'm sure it helps that he was probably drunk: I know I was about at his level that one night with Asian Cousin and Seagull that I wrote about a few posts ago.

He was dancing, using these light sticks in sexually suggestive manners that everyone found amusing, including the girls.  He grabbed the tall girl and got her dancing on the table and she was comfortable with him grabbing her ass right there.

Disney would ask me on the ride home on Friday what we were supposed to do.  I told him we just had to be like Tall P: we had to be fun and totally not give a fuck.  We were fun initially, but we decided to stop talking to the girls.  When we went on the dance floor later, we dance near the girls.  At no point did we try to grind on them.  I was even dancing behind Milwaukee a few inches back at the end of the night on Friday, and I wouldn't go the extra few inches to try to grind on her.

We felt really stupid when we saw other guys grinding on two of the 3 Latinas when we made no attempts.

I knew the moves:
I had to talk Disney through what the right moves were supposed to be that Friday.  I knew the moves Friday when we got on the dance floor that evening and danced near the girls.  I learned it from Ozzie from the RSD Transformations video back in 2009.  I was supposed to be the fun guy.  I think it was actually good that we back off a little at the table and I was dancing by myself.  That showed I wasn't needy.  When we got by the girls on the dance floor, I need to start dancing with the girls.  The move was then to spin and grind on each one and then I could choose the one(s) I wanted.  In this case, my move was to focus on Ragdoll and then White Blouse.

I knew the moves when I failed to act on Friday and I knew them even more when I gave my analysis on the ride home Friday and Disney agreed with me.  I should have burned it into my consciousness more when we discussed it on Saturday on the drive in.  I knew I was fucking up when I'd fail to act on Saturday and I can think of the key moment when I let the evening go downhill.

On Friday, I had a reasonable excuse.  I was just enjoying the full experience of venue changing attractive girls to this free bottle service and experience the VIP treatment without paying a cent.

Saturday truly is painful because I had almost the exact situation on Friday repeat itself and as I said in the introduction to this series of posts: situations in the game often repeat themselves (that's how you get good because you can make the right choice when the repeat themselves the next time, or in my case in many future recurrences; after I get my dense self to take the right action).  It's rare that you get to relive a night the very next night.  The venues were different, but my favorite girls returned, and two new girls emerged with the Latina girls (and one disappeared, but she was the one least on the radar anyway).   I'd have to say that this would almost be unheard of in my experience to get a second chance with the same girls in almost the exact same situation that I/we just screwed up the night before.

Here's the real painful part.  As I mentioned before, and I didn't really think about it Saturday, this was with girls that should be way more receptive considering I had decent conversations and time to bond with Milwaukee.  These girls came to meet up with us again specifically.

Let me repeat that for the fucked up part of me that couldn't get this right.  Instead of having the same bullshit start to the night where I have to warm up and create something out of having nothing but just my experiences and hopefully, a good wing man, I had girls that we had some history with, who came out to see us, and I couldn't make myself be the fun, PUA guy I'm supposed to be. FUCK!

Yes, I could try to say that they came out for the bottle service but if we had been totally lame, they wouldn't have come out again.  On top of that, when I write out the next part, it will become clear how much BS Disney had to maneuver to get the evening going and many girls would have bailed despite the possibility of free bottle service.

Free bottle service, 5 girls, and a Wing Eating Contest

Friday night was epic considering how bad my Feb 13, 2015 was in terms of game.  I went out after the winter of WoW and depression and barely opened and lamented about how badly I had let my game and my life regress.  It was so painful that I ditched Disney and Asian Cousin the next night rather than go out and probably have a similar night that I knew I would make me feel even worse.  

I feel better writing this entry because I realize that on the bright side, my tale I've been setting up as this utter failure to execute when I'm given a rare chance to relive a very similar evening and change things around into an truly epic Saturday night, actually had a great start.  

As I was working through this post, I remembered that the whole night started with Disney's competitive eating debut.  This is when I changed the title of this post to "Free bottle service, 5 girls, and a Wing Eating Contest."  I just giggled as  I wrote that.  I had watched this video again where I think it's Tyler who talks about how I'm supposed to have the frame that when I'm out, I'm in my movie, my awesome movie, and I'm offering value by allowing girls to be a part of it.  This is in contrast the frame most guys have and the one you want to avoid as this is usually why we bust out of sets: trying to wiggle your way into the girls party because you need girls to complete your life or you just aren't having or don't know how to have your own fun.  

I feel so much better after I wrote the above edit in that I realize that despite choking badly in my prime time debut (I've been thinking about framing that night in that type of sports analogy when I get to that post), my weekend and some unique aspects to it.  Bluntly, in many ways, my weekend was pretty fucking cool and in ways that are unique.  I mean that in the the true sense of the word: one of a kind: there aren't many people that can even have the evening I experienced.  I need to remember this when I'm doubting myself at some point in the future.  Yes, there a many guys that get laid, especially in the PUA community, and there are other eaters out there, but my life is interesting and I have things I can post about that no one else can.  

As I wrote "Editx2" I said to myself, "Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me sometimes?  When I was a hard case newbie like in the old blog, trying to do what Tyler talks about was a just a mind trick I had to play on myself.  Now it's actually the truth: I have fun no matter what and nights out with Disney are always exciting.  When I doubt myself nowadays, I guess I forget all the unique experiences and adventures I go on now.  I must forget how the majority of the time, I'd massively creep out any and all girls.  I must forget how my heart use to beat so hard with the approach anxiety I use to experience.  

I don't spend money on women:
I have this rule for myself that I try to spent ZERO dollars on woman.  If one were to look through my old posts, one would find some stories where I followed this rule to my detriment.  I've messed up sure lays by sticking to principle.  Saturday seems even more stupid because I went with the flow and violated this rule and then let myself turn the night into a personal state death spiral.  Okay, my state crash felt like that on the drive home, but to be fair to myself, I didn't go sit in the corner and just give up.  I might have given up on a great set that we cultivated but it will be clear later that at least I didn't give up on the evening and I gave whatever effort I could till the very end.  

VIP & Bottle Service:
With that rule and with me not having disposable income to throw around, it should be obvious that I don't get tables.  Most of my wings follow my rule above though some of them are wisely more flexible and will pay for drinks or meals when appropriate.  Disney violates the rule aove but he has the money to do so and he's not a student of the game in the same way I am so he didn't have this rule drilled into his had by the community and the book "The Game."  Still, he's not dumb enough to throw around $300-400 for bottle service every weekend in the hopes of getting girls, which is what many guys do.  Many guys think you need to have the table service to get laid.  

I think the closest I've gotten to a bottle service experience was probably 4-5 years ago, when I met these Polish girls at Excalibur (that club is now called Castle and it's been that way for a few years so this shows how long ago that was).  I got into this Polish set and they had half a bottle of vodka left and gave me some.  
(Edit: Actually, after writing the next paragraph, I remembered my one NYC club experience.  One of my cousin's best friends used to own a club there.  Back in 2007, I think, I had the total VIP experience.  This club in Manhattan had a super long line to get in that I completely skipped.  I was dressed like a tool too in my Hawaiian shirts I was trying to peacock in back then.  My cousin's had a free bottles for us, but he just asked me to pitch in money for the tips.  I didn't really drink back then and I had to drive so I think I only had one drink.  I think there's an entry in this, or the original blog, how that place had some of the hottest women I've every seen.  In the VIP section too was a lineman from the New York Giants as well).  

This week, thanks to Disney's hook ups with his promoter job, was bottle service Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Thursday was free but I only got one drink from the table and I barely knew Disney's promoter table crew, so I didn't dare go near it when Disney left around midnight.  Friday, as I'll explain below was totally comped.  Saturday, I pitched in $20 for the tip for one bottle service, which is cheap, and Saturday night ended with free bottle service at the final club.

I've been at the table-Tyler/Owen:
I remember watching a Tyler video where he talks about how you don't need money to get girls.  He mentions how he has friends that get tables and he admitted it makes things easier, but said you don't need it.  

I always wondered what it's like and I'm finally getting to experience it.  My edit above made me remember that I had two experiences with bottle service, but the experience this weekend is different in that my game is on a different level as I was complete newbie back when I was at the NYC club.  

The horrid Spicy BBQ challenge:
I didn't write any detailed reports, though I might have mentioned it in passing.  In October or November of last year, I ran into Disney at a club he promotes.  I used his password to get in and get free drinks but I hadn't run into him and was completely out of contact with him.  I found out he was working out of state and just home for the weekend.  It turns out he was living up where I had to drive up to pick up some free beer I won in an eating contest.  It was the perfect coincidence and he let me stay with him for free when I got my beers. 

When I was visiting, he expressed an interest in trying some eating contests or food challenges.  I totally screwed him over, unintentionally, by having him try this ridiculously spicy food challenge.  I had eater friends that must have gotten a different challenge because they told me their was easy (one guy even said his challenge tasted good).  I can handle spicy foods as I ate 50 jalapenos for a contest and several years ago, I won a free TV by winning a ghost pepper eating contest.  My point is that there is not way these two eater friends handle spice better than me.  I'm convinced their chef made them a different version of this food challenge.  Further evidence is that they didn't suffer the after affects (that's a euphemism for my experience of waking up every hour that night having to take a massive flaming shit, and still having flaming shits on the drive home over 24 hours later).  

He had a horrible experience and didn't finish the meal so he had to pay $25-30 for this piece of crap meal.  I've done many food challenge and contest in the past year and I can say this was the most horrid challenge I've ever done.  I suppose the ghost pepper contest was worse experience but at least I knew what to expect going into that.  This was unexpected.  I finished mine but I wish I could have puked it up afterward, and it wasn't for a lack of trying.  (I haven't written much about my competitive eating, but those who know me know that I don't like to reverse (i.e. throw up) after contests and never try to make myself do so.  After this challenge, I felt so shitty that I actually tried to make it happen yet it wouldn't come out.  I would have had a much better 30 hours after the contest if I had managed to do so).  

Wing Contest Debut:
Disney is positive like I try to be, though the way the first post in this series started, you'd think I was a negative downer.  He didn't regret trying the food challenge and we still laugh about the experience to this day.  

On Thursday, while I was waiting for Prodigy (I had to look up his nickname from an old post) and Disney to arrive at the club.  It was dead so I was just playing with my phone and I happened to find out there was wing contest the following night about an hour away from me.  When I was in the middle of contest season last year, I'd check the food contest website every day, but lately I'm lucky if I checked it once a week.  I would have missed this contest had these guys not been late.  

I decided I wanted to go to the contest as it was $10 to enter and there were prizes for the top 3 finishers so even if one of the three people in the area who could beat me showed up, I'd get something for my money.  When Disney arrived, I told him about the contest and he said he wanted to go.  

My arch rival (We have/ad a good rivalry going as I met him in a food contest and surprised him by beating him unexpectedly. Realistically, it shouldn't be considered a rivalry as I've beaten him every time save 2 technique food contest) , decided to take a super long drive to come to this wing contest in my neck of the woods.  Since this is my PUA blog., I'll shorter this super long post by not going into much detail about the contest.

I'll summarize by saying if I had to give odds prior, I would have said it was 80-85% likely I'd lose this contest to my rival as he has better wing technique, and it was a short contest (3 mins).  I only really outperform him in longer contests.  He'd be the first to admit that in an 8-10 minute contest, I'm the favorite.  My break from sarging was also a break from competitive eating (there aren't many contests in the winter, and I was fucked up as I've mentioned so I stopped working out and also stopped training for food contests).  I faced him in a St Patrick's Day themed contest, and he was close to me in that for at least 5 minutes out of an 8 minute contest, so that's another reason I thought I could lose.  

Somehow, I pulled off the victory and I felt the same way I did as when I beat one of my best friends in this other contest last year that I felt he was favored in.  I was so focused on my rival in this wing contest that I didn't even watch Disney or pay attention the weigh ins.  

In his first wing contest, Disney took third which is like winning the contest because he beat all the other competitors.  He had no chance to be neither my rival nor me, so this was the best he could hope to do, and he met that expectation.  A woman next to him beat all the other guys.  I just mentioned that because many would think a woman would be the least likely to win, though follows of competitive eating would know that a small woman is one of the top eaters in the world right now.  
Wing Contest Opener:
I try to amuse myself nowadays by creating new openers or new lines I can use when in sets.  I kept saying in set Friday that we were celebrating Disney's competitive eating debut.  This worked well because I had fun doing it and anything that amuses me will work (Tyler talks about why this is).  On top of that, it also DHV's me because Disney would later mention that I won the actual contest.  

Part 2 is how we ended up with 5 girls and bottle service...

Repeated the same mistakes two nights in a row with the same girls: I wanna cry...

This is a clip of audio from an RSD video that someone made into a short video.  It features Derek of RSD.  He talks about how you get better by going out, pushing hard, analyzing "two hours for every hour you went out."  He also talks about how he pushed it so hard in 2007 that he went home a few times and cried into his pillow.

Tonight was one of those nights.  I can't quite get the tears to flow but I'm really upset at myself.

Update from last post:
After my last post, I was sick for a week.  I went out twice the next week once I got better, but eating contests and other events made it so I was sporadic until this week where I went out Wednesday through Saturday.

Ground Hog Day/ Edge of Tomorrow
I like thinking of those two movies when I think about game.  Going out in the field gives you experience and many of the same situations repeat themselves.  In the video above, Derek talked about creating flow charts and analyzing each situation and figuring out how you could have done things better.  This and previous iterations of this blog were meant for just that purpose.  Writing these posts take up a lot of time and I gave up doing it.

My game was/has been stagnant for awhile.  I caught my game up pretty well after this winter layoff in my state of Wow addiction/depression.  It was stagnant last summer because I was so busy doing contests that I didn't have the time to go out like I had in previous years and then I'd either be so tired or felt it pointless to go out when I did have a few days off.  This was especially true when I went out alone.  I still managed to have some adventures and some game epiphanies: I think back to two painful missed opportunities by University of Delaware and Michigan State when I went out there as part of an eating contest trip.

I think another reason I haven't made much improvement is because I stopped writing these posts.  Sure, I'd analyze where I thought I went wrong, but I think I didn't analyze enough.  Making these posts is a way I can analyze night out much more thoroughly, and I think the lessons stick more when I take the time to do this.

Repeat the Same Day the very next night?!
Strangely, I had the opportunity to replay Friday night the very next night on Saturday.  It should be obvious from the intro and theme of this post so far, that I just failed to learn from my previous.night.

Actually, I can't say I didn't learn because I my analysis and game plan for the next night was spot on but I some how couldn't bring myself to execute the game plan that I knew was right the very next night.

Disney followed the game plan:
(I was trying remember what I called my promoter friend I knew through 2j, but then I realized that I think I called him Disney).
Disney learned from the previous night and made himself follow the game plan we figured out on the ride home Friday night/Sat morning.  He told me that it probably helped that he was drunk but also he realized he had invested so much time, money and effort into making Friday night happen (though Friday was smooth except that we made mistakes later in the night).  Saturday was the real grind and he said he just told himself that he had to make an effort and follow the game plan.

It paid off as well.  It worked out even better than expected.

I missed decent chance to get laid despite my failings and as a result of Disney's massive state:
I'll explain more in the following posts as I'll go into a deeper review of the past two nights, but what ended up happening is both humorous and almost unbelievable.

I've written before about some really dumb ways I manage to not get laid.  I think some of the stories, situations, and my bonehead decisions are funny.  I think it's good that I can laugh about my predicaments and follies as those near misses were so painful when that happened.  The part of this is that I think that a part of me must take this as an identity and I continue to do dumb shit to keep this theme going.

I swear this was out of my control tonight except for the fact that I disappeared into the crowd trying to cold approach when I already had a second night with girls on vacation that came to a 4th or 5th venue with us.

Wow, I feel even more stupid when I write it out like that.  Now maybe my feelings that time will seem more reasonable when I write out the complete report but I feel dumb thinking about how much time we spent around these girls over two nights.  To avoid rejections, I guess, or because I just got into a massive state crash due to inaction, I decided it was somehow better to wander around the club finding new girls.

Well, it wasn't a horrible idea to clear my head and fix the state crash but even when I ran through the sets, I never came back to the bottle service/VIP area again until the girls were all gone.

I could have just stuck around and/or came back.  That was under my control and I could have just made the evening unfold SO MUCH BETTER, if I just made the right decision at a crucial point Saturday evening.

What was not under my control was Disney's phone dying.  What's somewhat under my control is that I've known my phone is busted.  Certain apps don't work: e.g. Fox News, MapmyRun and, key for tonight Facebook and Facebook messenger.  I think I might have mentioned this to Disney, but it's not surprising he didn't remember.

If he had just sent me a normal text message, I would have seen it...