Sidenote: No wonder I stopped making these posts. I write too much and this take forever... I'm probably going to have to sleep and I haven't even gotten to Saturday night yet, which is the whole stimulus to me taking the time to write out this weekend in detail. I need to find a way to take less time writing reports and still getting the value I get from doing so in detail. The value is how I'm able to review and analyze the night and force myself to make improvement.
Disney promotes too much?:
I say that because 2j and I agreed years ago that Disney uses this angle too much. He often opens sets by just trying to tell them that he's a promoter. I can't knock him now because it works and I got to see first hand how well it works. My only issue with it is that I think it would be more solid to just open in a normal way, and then bring up the promoter bit after he's actually hooked the set.
Splitting the work: The Canadians:
A complaint I have about certain guys I go out with is that I end up being forced to do most, if not all the work of opening. When I'm on, I don't care as much because I'm an opening machine. I can just go around and have my own fun despite what these guys may or may not be doing. It's so much nicer to be out with a wing that's going to open if I'm being hesitant. Disney fits in the later category, for sure! He almost always like my best version of me as an opening machine. Despite 2j's and my criticism in the previous paragraph, 2j did always say that Disney's frame is unwavering.
Edit: I should point out that I've said as much to these wings. Well, one of them, I need to have a talk with as I haven't talked to him in awhile, but the other is well aware of this issue.
Tyler has explained the theory of how the strongest frame in a social interaction almost always is the one that wins out. A example from my own game of how this works is as follows. I can think of several examples, including one recently on St Patrick's Day this year, where I was in a great state and I opened a girl who immediately tried to blow me out. I opened this 3-set and my target immediately tried to blow me off with the, "We're having a girl's night out" blow off.
If I'm in a bad state, or just warming up, I'll just give up, or worse feel deflated as I walk off. In this case, I didn't react at all. I didn't feel rejected, I just plowed on with something else, and literally a few seconds later, her demeanor turns completely opposite: she suddenly is giving me anime eyes and it's soon clear she's really into me.
Disney is almost always approaching and with little hesitation. I aspire to be as unwavering as he is when he decides to open a set. I can remember the 1-2 time when I saw him hesitating: that's how rare it is for him to be like that.
If girls give him a weird look, it does not affect him AT ALL. Sure he gets busted out like everyone does, but he does not get affected. That's important for not creating negative momentum. He also doesn't flinch or react if they give him a weird look or some blow off line. He'll keep plowing and a decent number of times, he plows through the resistance by the strength of his frame.
I think he's improved the promoter spiel he uses because it seems to work almost every night. I didn't remember until later that the 3 Latina girls that meet up with us for the free bottle service came out of this short set he opened by the coat check. We'll call them the "Canadians" for reasons Disney will understand but which I won't explain here.
You never know which set is going to work:
I would have sworn those girls wouldn't have come out. I remembered this set later. He had two girls attention and I ended up talking to this white blouse Latina that we both ranked highly out of the 5 (and later 2 additional girls who showed up on Saturday). The girl I was most attracted to was a girl I'll introduce in the next section who I'll call Milwaukee Ragdoll. I'd ranked White Blouse next, followed by tall Latina, the HJ queen and then the others.
Disney's spiel sounds good: He tells them he's a promoter and he can get them in free to this other club and he tells them he's getting bottle service. I'll admit that my PUA indoctrination wants to fight against this as it seems like trying to buy girls affections. The thing is that it really is part of his job: the guy he works for is happy if he bring good looking girls over for the bottle service. I can't say this is supplication because on Friday we didn't spent anything other than the $3 I tipped for my usual 3 free drinks. I just feel, again, that if he opened it like a normal PUA would, hooked the set, and then mentioned this bit, I think it would be more solid.
I think, as I write this, that it works in the way that Tyler talked about number closes in general. Tyler said there are two ways to farm (farm being my word) phone numbers. One way is to try to number close every set, no matter how short, and the other is to just try to number close the longer sets or set that seem "more solid." Tyler said, that after trying both, he ended up getting Day 2's from the same number of girls regardless of the method. When he number closed many sets, the percentage turnout would be low(er), whereas the "solid" sets wouldn't all pan out, so he'd wind up with a similar number. Maybe I should go back to farming phone numbers on a mass scale. I used to get more Day 2's and I haven't gotten any in forever actually.
Of course, I know this lesson, but I don't seem to have been following what it means. I know that club or night game in general number closes often are flaky. Quickly, the reasons are girls drinking, there being so many guys that approach and number close, and so on. I think my issue is that I'm trying to learn how to pull, but now that I'm writing this, I swear I'm going to go back the method of mass farming numbers. If I hook a set, I'm number closing: that's my method next time I go out and into the foreseeable future. (He's a lesson I probably wouldn't have internalized had I not been posting these blogs again).
The Milwaukee Connection:
We were just about to leave the venue to hit the bottle service venue. Part of me was remembering the time before my ATL adventures where Disney and I got in a cab with two thin Irish girls and we couldn't get in, so I wasn't feeling confident in the bottle but was in with Disney for the adventure regardless. At the same time, on Thursday I had gotten a free drink from the promotion bottle service so I was feeling more confident it was going to work out. What I wasn't sure about was which, if any, of the sets he closed with the promoter spiel was going to meet us.
I decided to approach this 2-set : a black girl and this white girl who had braids in her hair. I found out they were from Milwaukee and were celebrating recently (within the last two weeks for the other girl) turning 21. The white girl is the favorite I mentioned above who I am calling Ragdoll. The African-American girl will just be referred to as "Milwaukee" due to lack of creativity at 9am.
Disney has a card for a free shot and he says he'll get Ragdoll any shot she wants for her birthday. He had been talking about the bottle service prior to this. He starts leading them towards the front. I thought we were going to the front bar for the shot, but the next thing I know, we're leaving the club with them.
We start walking towards the bottle service club. Disney talks to Milwaukee and I talk to Ragdoll. Now, I'll explain why I named her "Ragdoll." I have Ragdoll cats. I used to show my cat pictures all the time, but now that I have to unlock the screen and look up the pics, I don't (though I should just make it the lock screen pic like I used to have). I probably showed my cats to thousands of girls over the years. Only two girls have recognized my cats as being Ragdolls and this girl is one of them!
The cats only came up because she was playing with her phone and I saw a picture of her cat, so naturally, I lead the conversation towards that. Unfortunately, I saw a picture of a guy with the cat, and other pics of a guy who I was almost certain was her boyfriend. Now I know that doesn't matter, and I even have that recent reference experience with that true Canadian being all over me in front of her boyfriend. As I type this, I knew that held me back a little bit Friday. It turns out that it might not have mattered had I done things right Saturday.
This is how you be Alpha:
The last two days, I've been working on being more dominant. This has been an ongoing process since my early days of game, but reading about Derek and listening to his what little stuff he has out there has made me focus on this the last few days. I think of two things. In one video, Derek basically says that if I don't believe I can be the boss in the club and out alpha the other guys there, then "how the fuck do I expect her to believe it?" (I believe that quoted part is close to verbatim.) Saturday, I read something on the RSD forums which was a review of Derek's Chicago Free tour and a description of sarging with Derek(sadly I missed that due to an eating contest). One of the lessons there was that Derek is dominant (but not the try hard way that comes to mind when you think of someone trying to be totally alpha). It was described as being totally dominant, but not try hard. Derek was described also as a person who NEVER supplicates or tries to qualify himself to ANYONE.
I can be alpha and dominant at times, but I need to work on always being like that. Sometimes, I just let myself be weak. I'm talking about stupid stuff like not being seated where I want to at a restaurant or not being clear when dealing with clerks or whatever. Of course, I'm often not doing things properly when it comes to women.
The above was a tangent but now I realize that's an important concept I need to further attempt to internalize. The original point of this section was to describe how Disney's main promoter guy just showed the door guys what was up at our late night bottle service spot on Friday. Sadly, he couldn't achieve the same feat the next day at this hip club: he was told there that the girls we brought weren't good looking enough. (Disney and I talked about this later. We think our top three girls were worthy, but Milwaukee, and the two new comers on Saturday were the ones that the bouncers didn't like).
When we got the the venue, we were there with Milwaukee and Ragdoll after having walked from the other club. This is when I saw the three Canadians from the coat check. Disney tried to get the 5 girls and I in using his promoter password and the guy told him we had to pay $10 because it was after 1:30. Disney tried to be persuasive but to no avail. This tall promoter guy who henceforth will be known as "Tall P" showed up.
Tall P would soon show as an example of how we were to suppose to act on Saturday if we wanted to do things right when the day repeated. Here, he tried to do what Disney attempted, in a slightly more alpha way, but he was also rejected.
I was thinking this was going to be like the Irish set where we couldn't get in and would look stupid. I had told Disney before we left the other place that I wasn't paying to get in if it turned out like that one night.
Suddenly this big (as in height and also fat) guy came who we'll call Big P. Big P is the main guy that Disney works under. Big P was told initially the same stuff: the promo is no good after 1:30 and we all had to pay.
At that instant, I thought we were done, but then I'll never forget how fucking cool the next minute or so was. Big P talked to another door guy and then was let in to talk to the maanger/owner (he obviously was the boss there but I don't know his actual posistion). The next thing I hear is that boss/owner apologizing to Big P, and soon he's pointing to our 5 girls, Tall P, Disney, and I. The door guys check our ID's and we're in for FREE!
VIP & Bottle:
Now we finally made it to the VIP table. If anyone has bothered to read all of this, this has been a long journey of text, and it felt like a long journey that night. We were sitting in the booth behind this table with a bunch of good looking girls. I knew the bottle was likely as I had a free drink from one on Thursday but part of me still doubted this was going to happen this evening. Sure enough, just a few minutes later, I get to watch the bottle with the sparkler come to our table.
I remember thinking, "Wow, this is the shit! This cool to have a free bottle and to be at a table with a bunch of cute girls. This is how I should roll!"
I had a big smile on my face and I was dancing behind the table. It sure feels great to have your own private area while the masses are stuck on the crowded public areas.
I think we were happy just to make it this far:
That line summarizes what went wrong after this. We walked with two girls we just met and I had been talking to a girl I was really attracted to the whole walk over. Now I had three more girls that Disney had venue changed with his promoter gig and I got to experience VIP comp bottle service.
I appreciated the moment. We had done our best at the eating contest. I had pulled what I thought was an upset and won money. Disney had done as best as he could and won a prize, which felt great, not only because it was his first contest, but of course because that ridiculously spicy food contest was such a horrible experience in contrast. Again, we were with cute girls that we brought and at a free table, and I had spent $3 the whole evening in bar fees!
I was too busy dancing by the table and later I'd go on the dance floor and I'd dance by myself and near Disney. Dancing by myself seemed to be my theme for this weekend. It's great that I can do that when years ago I was terrified to be on the dance floor. It's stupid to do so when you have cute girls to talk to and girls that I could try to dance with and hopefully grind with seductively.
Tall P shows us how it's done:
Early on, Tall P showed us a glimpse of how we were supposed to deal with this merged 5-set (to use Mystery terms). Tall P, while not as alpha as Big P, is damn confident and is fun. I can have fun by myself, but Tall P takes it to the next level but not giving a fuck. I'm sure it helps that he was probably drunk: I know I was about at his level that one night with Asian Cousin and Seagull that I wrote about a few posts ago.
He was dancing, using these light sticks in sexually suggestive manners that everyone found amusing, including the girls. He grabbed the tall girl and got her dancing on the table and she was comfortable with him grabbing her ass right there.
Disney would ask me on the ride home on Friday what we were supposed to do. I told him we just had to be like Tall P: we had to be fun and totally not give a fuck. We were fun initially, but we decided to stop talking to the girls. When we went on the dance floor later, we dance near the girls. At no point did we try to grind on them. I was even dancing behind Milwaukee a few inches back at the end of the night on Friday, and I wouldn't go the extra few inches to try to grind on her.
We felt really stupid when we saw other guys grinding on two of the 3 Latinas when we made no attempts.
I knew the moves:
I had to talk Disney through what the right moves were supposed to be that Friday. I knew the moves Friday when we got on the dance floor that evening and danced near the girls. I learned it from Ozzie from the RSD Transformations video back in 2009. I was supposed to be the fun guy. I think it was actually good that we back off a little at the table and I was dancing by myself. That showed I wasn't needy. When we got by the girls on the dance floor, I need to start dancing with the girls. The move was then to spin and grind on each one and then I could choose the one(s) I wanted. In this case, my move was to focus on Ragdoll and then White Blouse.
I knew the moves when I failed to act on Friday and I knew them even more when I gave my analysis on the ride home Friday and Disney agreed with me. I should have burned it into my consciousness more when we discussed it on Saturday on the drive in. I knew I was fucking up when I'd fail to act on Saturday and I can think of the key moment when I let the evening go downhill.
On Friday, I had a reasonable excuse. I was just enjoying the full experience of venue changing attractive girls to this free bottle service and experience the VIP treatment without paying a cent.
Saturday truly is painful because I had almost the exact situation on Friday repeat itself and as I said in the introduction to this series of posts: situations in the game often repeat themselves (that's how you get good because you can make the right choice when the repeat themselves the next time, or in my case in many future recurrences; after I get my dense self to take the right action). It's rare that you get to relive a night the very next night. The venues were different, but my favorite girls returned, and two new girls emerged with the Latina girls (and one disappeared, but she was the one least on the radar anyway). I'd have to say that this would almost be unheard of in my experience to get a second chance with the same girls in almost the exact same situation that I/we just screwed up the night before.
Here's the real painful part. As I mentioned before, and I didn't really think about it Saturday, this was with girls that should be way more receptive considering I had decent conversations and time to bond with Milwaukee. These girls came to meet up with us again specifically.
Let me repeat that for the fucked up part of me that couldn't get this right. Instead of having the same bullshit start to the night where I have to warm up and create something out of having nothing but just my experiences and hopefully, a good wing man, I had girls that we had some history with, who came out to see us, and I couldn't make myself be the fun, PUA guy I'm supposed to be. FUCK!
Yes, I could try to say that they came out for the bottle service but if we had been totally lame, they wouldn't have come out again. On top of that, when I write out the next part, it will become clear how much BS Disney had to maneuver to get the evening going and many girls would have bailed despite the possibility of free bottle service.
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