Thursday, March 31, 2011

Most people don't know how to dance

There's this guy I found on youtube that has some decent free stuff out there.  I was thinking tonight that one day in the future, I'm gonna give the guy the money for the DVD.  The two videos of his that I watched helped me a ton.  He explained how you try to just use 2-3 moves per song and then switch them when the songs switch.  I know about 4 dance moves so the DVD would give me a ton more.  The other good point I got from him was switching styles between certain parts of the song.  When the artist is singing you can do a basic slide, and then you can body rock for the refrain. 

Anyway, I remember watching the guy dancers they had at this club.  I'm watching them and was surprised to see that they weren't that much better than me.  The only thing they had was decent muscle tone and an attractive chest.  They weren't totally ripped either, but I'm sure the girls found them attractive.  I watched the girls too and a lot of them just repeat the same dance moves.  Of course, the guys are just looking at the hotties shaking their asses (breasts too, but I love watching them wiggle their asses).

The only reason I make this post is that I realized that I also gained a lot of confidence from realizing that most people don't really know how to dance.  I suppose one could criticize this confidence as ego based.  If I believe what TD/Owen says in The Blueprint, I shouldn't get confidence from comparing myself to others.  I should find it from with in and I think I have done that also when it involves dancing. 

I think the hired guns, both male and female, did a good job.  I just used to think that everyone knew how to dance except me.  I just turns out that these people getting paid aren't even awesome dancers.  I realize watching them isn't gonna be watching Justin Timberlake, though. 

The one thing I need to practice, though, is dancing with girls and then transitioning to grinding and escalating to the kiss.  I can dance all night by myself but I fumble with this.  I know it's a lot easier when I bring the girl to the dance floor as it's usually on at that point.  I want to be able to do the PlayerSupreme dance floor opener and then get a girl attracted to me solely from dance floor escalation.

Let me close by saying that it amuses me to no end that I love dancing now.  Some of my college friends probably wouldn't believe it as they remembered how I hated it.  If I can get this dance floor game, then I'll have even more girls to choose from in the club.  It'll be cool to be able to open both verbally and on the dance floor and be able to bring girls between the two areas and be competent at both.  

From angry mood from poker to Owning the club

Last night started out horribly.  I played poker for the first time in months.  I was hoping for a good start but I suppose this is better in certain ways.  I made a horrible tight-weak fold cause I was out of practice.  A fish bet 20 in to a 115 pot and I folded a winner.  Then, I want to leave cause the table is shitty but I know I have a chance to take this other guy's money.  I also wanted to put in a few hours before I went to the bar.  I get KK and bust out into AA.  Beautiful.  

Standard stupid poker story, but I mention it cause I was in a horrible mood.  I was just pissed off at myself for the bad play and then for not leaving.  You should always leave if you don't want to play, especially if it's a tight table.  I was halfway to Cadillac Ranch though so I figured I might as well go.  I knew it was gonna be a challenge to snap out of it, but I also knew Caddy has good drink specials.   

I walked in and there was no cover.  I ordered my drink.  I saw several sets but I knew I was still pissed so I didn't want to ruin those sets until I fixed my state.  The alcohol helped.  Since I had 3 2-sets to deal with, I decided to recruit this guy to be my wing.  I had talked to him briefly while ordering my drink.  As I looked around for potential wings, he seemed to be the most chill guy in my field of vision. 

I guess I chose well as he did a good job holding the attention of the obstacle in my first set.

Traveling Polish Girl:
I love Polish girls and I somehow always end up finding them whenever I want.  The two set was a blonde and a brunette and I really hit it off with the brunette.  I had told my new wing to show up if I was in a set for a few mins.  It's good that I did that as he showed up and started talking to the blonde after I introduced him.  Thinking back on it, I was ignoring her cause I was really captivated by the brunette (let't call her 'Travel girl'.).  He actually gave me isolation too as he went outside to smoke with the blonde.

Travel girl had actually been to Vietnam and Cambodia so we shared some stories.  Her favorite food is hamburgers and she hadn't heard of my usual favorite places: Paramount Room, Kuma's and Paradise Pup.  I actually should have number closed her there, but I didn't.

Later, I find out she's going to Australia for 3 months in a week.  That put the damper on a number close in my mind.  I felt like I needed to try to pull her tonight cause the number was gonna be useless.  Thinking about it now, I probably should have number closed her when the burgers came up and seen what happened. 

We were having great conversation but the blonde was ready to leave.  I felt like I could talk to travel girl for hours but we didn't have that "it's on" moment that I always talk about.  That would happen crazily in another set. 

Here's where I'm somewhat of a dumb ass.  I know they are about to leave.  This Lady Gaga song comes on that I like and I want to dance.  I try to pull her over there and she doesn't want to go.  I went to go dance to it.  Then I took a piss and this other song I really like came on, so I danced to that.  BTW, the dance floor was completely empty but it didn't stop me from going out there.  Unfortunately, the girls left by the time I went to look for them.  That wing guy left to, I wonder if he was smart enough to venue change them. 

Part of me thought about how RSD Tim talked about how he likes to be unpredictable at the club.  He talks about wandering off at random times.  I think it was okay to wander off, but not when I know they are minutes from leaving. 

I guess I opened girls on the dance floor:

When I saw my girls had left, I went back on the dance floor.  I danced for a song and then walked up to this 4-set as this song I liked was playing.  There was a cute brunette there.  I did the intent intro opener on her.  She was there for another girls birthday.  I tried getting my  target to dance but she said she hated this Jay Sean song that was on.  I then wandered to this neighboring set.  It was a bunch of fat girls but they were having fun dancing.  I just started dancing with them.  I was in a grinding sandwich at one point.  I left after a song cause I wanted to try to find something better.  I'm not opposed to hooking up with fat girls; I've done it in the past and it helped me out.  I just don't feel like I need to get laid that badly right now.  I'm cool just heading home to a porno if I can't pull a good looking girl. 

Girls opened me on the dance floor:
Like three different girls started dancing with me on the dance floor.  This shy Asian girl came for like 10 seconds and then giggled and ran off.  The one of interest was this Latina girls with dyed blonde hair.  She and a friend approached me on the dance floor.  The friend was large, but the Latina girl was cute.  I dance with the Latina one for a bit and then the fat one as I know you're supposed to dance with both girls.  The fat one ended up wandering off and leaving me with this girl.  I danced for like two songs but I needed a break at this point.  I tried to pull her off the dance floor but she didn't want to go.  I didn't really grind with her.  Perhaps I should have escalated more.  I had put my arm on her shoulder and I put my hands on her waist but that was it.

I opened the hottest girl in the club with no hesitation:
Of course, it's subjective who the hottest girl in the club was, but this was the girl I'd want out of all the ones there.  This random guy that I was friendly with is the one who said she was the hottest one in the club when I kept point her out.  There was this seated 3-set early in the night with this thin, adorable blonde.  I opened her.  She started telling me that she does this pyro show for the club.  Reading "The Game," made me say, "Does she always brag like this?" to the friends and of course they giggled.  I probably should have used Mystery's neg too as this girl needed it.  It was too bad I realized they were hired guns when I was already in the set.

My girl was boring though.  She doesn't travel and doesn't do much really.  She told me she wasn't even 21 and mentioned work again.  I've been told a lot of  hot girls having boring personalities.  Obviously, that's not always true, but supposedly, many hot girls don't have fully developed personalities cause they've been taken care off from a very early age.  Guys always want to do stuff for them and they are always the center of attention.

I ended up leaving the set but I guess I wasn't really busted out.  Well, maybe.  I remember her saying, "I'm just here to work."

About fifteen minutes later, I saw the girl doing her show.   She was on the dance floor with this huge hula hoop with flashing lights.  She was adorable.  The club also had two shirtless male dancers come out and four hot girl dancers, but this blonde was hotter than those girls.  The girls they hire are these petite girls with nice little asses in like lingerie bottoms.  They are hot, but they seem to be equivalent to girls I see out on a Friday night.  Maybe 8's or 9's, but it's Bartlett, IL.

I was disappointed there was no fire, but later I saw her outside twirling this hula hoop around her that had real flames on it.  The girl has some skills in addition to being a hottie.

Kiss close, but friends walked in :(
I kept thinking about this set and I'm convinced I was gonna go for the kiss, but maybe I should have moved sooner.  I remember turning this corner at the bar and seeing this cute girl with blonde hair sitting on a chair.  I did the Intent-intro opener and she responded well.  Immediately, I could tell she had high buying temperature.  She kept giggling and looking into my eyes.  My kino was good for once.  Usually, I'm slow but the high buying temperature alarm kicked my game into gear.  I remember actually starting to get turned on, which doesn't happen that often when I approach.  We talked about some stuff that I don't really remember.   I just remember kinoing.  I put my arm around her, and I swear she moved closer to me.  I remember teasing her and then moving up close and looking down into her eyes in this dominant posture. 

In my head, I'm screaming, "Yes, this is on."  I was wondering where this was Tuesday.  Haven't had a moment like this since Saturday.  I'm getting ready to start stroking her hair to set up the kiss and then this girl and this guy walk up.  I get introduced to the girl.  The guy is just standing there.  I never figured out their relation.  I remember pizza got mentioned and my target walked over to the pizza.  I'm chatting with the two friends and then suddenly the other girl walks away and I'm stuck talking to the guy.  I think the other girl mentioned they were leaving soon.  They must have left as I didn't see them again.

I guess I should have walked over to the pizza and tried to start things up again.  If those damn friends had show up a few minutes later, I bet I would have been making out with this girl.  It was so on.  

That's the Pickup Artist moment.  I just love when I'm in a set, and we're gazing into each others eye.  I love how we can't stop smiling and giggling and my touch just seems to create more energy.  Of course, there are other key moments, but this moment is the one that starts everything rolling. 

Failed "Matrix" move:
I made what turned out ot be a creepy move on the dance floor, but I'm glad I made the attempt.  I also think this experience is gonna help me out with dance floor approaches.  I finally got to feel what a total blow off on the dance floor feels like.  It's like that first rejection when I first approached.  I feared about how it would feel and I know it's not that bad and not a big deal.

There was this 2-set on the dance floor that guys kept approaching.  No one was getting anywhere until this black guy came up and started dancing the with the hotter girl.  The other girl was cute too.  She was standing there for a moment.  My move would have been to come in then.  I had sort of opened them earlier.  I had high fived the girls but didn't try to dance with them.  Instead, I kept dancing by myself and I saw this tall white dude come up.  He was just standing there talking to her.  He was saying enough to hold her attention, but he was leaning in and also he wasn't dancing. 

In my head, I suddenly thought, "This is time for a Matrix move.  My move is to get her dancing and spin her away from that guy."

I guess it was the competition that motivated me to do something.  I was hesitant so it took me like 2-3 minutes, but I decided to go for it.  I made my move wrong.  If I were to try again, I'd dance more so she could see me and then make eye contact with her.  I  then move close and then try to spin her away.  Instead, I just went in and grabbed her arm to try to spin her.  I don't think she expected it so it was creepy.  Blah.  I moved to another part of the dance floor in embarassement.

Yeah, I made a shit move, but again, I'm happy I did.  I'm sure I would have regretted not taking action.  That's what hurts the most in sarging.  I could have or should have done X, but instead I did nothing.  If I'm willing to try something like this, then I should have no fear during the proper dance floor approach.  Yeah, girls will blow me off, but girls will also dance with me.  It's not like I haven't danced and grinded with girls before.  The rejections won't be as bad as this one was so I have nothing to gear.

Owning the club:
I danced with this 3 girls near the end of the night.  It was more of that friend circle dance as I never really separated the girls so I could dance with them individually.  I had a blast though and totally changed my state.  The poker bust off no longer bothered me and doesn't bother me now.  I just loved how I got out there and did stuff alone.  I recruited a random guy who winged me well.  I created some other guy friends so I had a few bases to stop by.  Now that I'm on the dance floor all the time, I really don't need bases anymore, but it's still fun. 

If someone were observing me, it would not look like I came into the club alone.  It would look like I knew a bunch of people there.  Wow, how this game has changed me.

Let met just close by saying that some guy said I gave him the confidence to go on the dance floor.  I used to  fear getting on the dance floor cause I feared people making fun of me.  I suppose it helps now that I have the general idea of dancing so I don't look like a fool.  When I'm out there on an empty dance floor, girl have to notice.  It shows a lot of confidence to do that.  It's cool that I give guys confidence to get out there and dance too.  I remember high fiving this guy later in the night cause he was out there by himself and that's what he said that he had seen me out there and felt comfortable coming out too.  

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Great deals at Joe's, but bad night sarging

I finally got out to Joe's on Weed St in Chicago.  They have an awesome deal for Tuesdays.  If you get there before 9pm, it's $3 cover.  Pizzas are half price.  We got an 18" 1/2 sausage pizza for like $8.  We also had two pitchers of beer for $4.  The beer is what is most ridiculous.  I drank most of the 1st pitcher and I just gave away most of the 2nd pitcher to the people next to us cause I wanted to be able to driver home after closing. 

I was out with Sidegames.  I had him walk with me into this set but he had to go home and go to sleep as he works early.  I opened a bunch of sets after eating.  I guess the highlight of the night was this fat, short Latina girl liked me.  I guess I opened her at some point after dinner.  I remember that I was standing by the bathroom and when she walked by, she yelled out my name.  Later, she saw me again and dragged me over to her friends.  Her brother was there and a bunch of relatives.  I didn't really feel like dealing with that for a girl that I didn't really want to hook up with so I left.

There were two other decent sets.   My favorite was this girl from Germany.  I felt like we had a good conversation going but then she suddenly said she had to get back to her friend.  I thought it was a huge set, but when she left to go to the friend, I realized the friend had been standing there bored the whole time.  The other set was this girl from New York.  She walked away from me at one point.  To my credit, I approached her again, but nothing happened.

I guess I need dance floor game.  I was out on the dance floor a few times and there were some cute girls by me.  I feel like such an idiot cause I just can't bring myself to open them.  It's like a paralyzed when it comes to dance floor opening.  I mention this every entry I think and every time I go out, I swear to myself that I'm gonna open some sets there.

Overall, it was a shitty night.  I guess I gave it a good effort and one girl did like me.  Tonight puts the other nights in perspective.  Usually, there are 2-3 sets that are really on but tonight it was one, or I'd say, half a set.  I was really hoping to try some kiss closes but I'm sure there will be some opportunities next time.  

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I realized I like Tyler/Owen cause I'm a lot like him

I've been reading "The Game" again.  I finally got to the part of the book where Tyler of RSD enters the scene.  Style casts Tyler as the bad guy in the book.  The funny thing is that it was this role that made me seek out Tyler and RSD material in the first place.  I remember I loved his material cause I'm a theory junkie and even Style admits that no one could deconstruct social interactions as well as Tyler.  Tyler's old "25 points post" and "AMOG techinques" helped me out a ton when  I was first starting out. 

What I realized this time around was how similar I was to Tyler when Style describes his first night out with Tyler.  Style had taken Papa and Tyler out to this club to watch one of his girlfriends do a burlesque   show.  Some of Style's female friends were at the outing too.  Style said he introduced Tyler and Tyler basically said hi and sat silent the remainder of the time.  When asked why he didn't talk, Tyler later said that he didn't know what routines Style had used on them already and he didn't want to risk repeating anyway. 

Reading this section again reminded me of two experiences I had with Dahunter early on in my sarging career.  Dahunter was this aspiring mPUA that became an instructor for MM about 6 months after I had stopped sarging with him.  One time, I was at Dahunter's apartment to pick up to go sarging and he had three girls there.  He hadn't mentioned this to me and was surprised when he opened the door.  I didn't know what to say so I said hi and immediately went to the bathroom.

An even worse experience was when I went out with him to this PUA meeting at this bar.  There were a ton of good looking girls but I didn't want to open anyone.  Like Tyler in Style's story, I didn't know what to say.  I was afraid of repeating routines or even just the opener.

Of course, I can laugh about this now.  The memories are another reminder of how far I've come in the game.  I guess I've made two posts abou in some way ot my growth in the game cause I want feel entitled to have the girls that are attracted to me now.  I realize it's inner game that's holding me back.  In my head, I know I focus too much on my screw ups instead of my strengths and successes. 

The second example above is really a huge change.  I think back to when I first started sarging.  All I had were routines and canned material.  I knock that stuff now, but I realize how necessary it was back then.  I used to be so nervous when talking to girls.  I forced myself to approach but I remember my heart thumping in chest cause I was so nervous.  The routines gave me something to say when I was so nervous I'd have a hard time trying to control that and come up with stuff to say on the fly.  With the routines, I had something consistent to say so I could focus my resources on controlling that nervousness.  Also, the routines also artificially created positive responses in girls that served to help pump my state and give me reference material that girls could react positively to me and be attracted to me. 

I had a breakthrough moment back then that I recognize now which involves openers.  I used to use the tent opener.  There was an opener on the list of openers on fastseduction that read simply, "Would you date a guy who lived in a tent?"  I liked how ridiculous it sounded and wanted to use it.  I ended up creating a whole routine and opened countless sets with it.

Nowadays, I not to use as much canned stuff, though I find myself telling many of the same stories in sets.  The thing that's different is that these aren't canned stories or routines that I memorized from reading archives or from a website.  They are real stories from my life and the few routines I use are ones I created from my own imagination that mimic pickup methods that work.  For example, I have two or three routines I use to create attraction through "future adventures projection."  That method is basically that you create some funny or creative situation when a girl pictures you two doing something together. 

Monday, March 28, 2011

The proverbial cart before the horse problem & Rereading "The Game"

After careful analysis, I narrowed down my sticking points from the past week.  First, I created unrealistic expectations for myself.  While this actually helped me get in state on slower nights, it paralyzed more for a time when surrounded by the hots girls at "State" bar Saturday.  This is a minor problem though as I'm experienced enough to break out of crappy state and I was still able to have some great sets later in the evening.  My biggest sticking point right now comes down to "Excessive gaming" and not pushing the kiss close. 

RAS & The Game:

I started reading Neil Strauss' book The Game again last night.  It's been over five years since I read it.  TD/Owen talks about "Reticular Activation System."  RAS is that part of you that knows to focus on certain things that will help you at this point in time.  That's a basic definition.  What it means for when I'm reading The Game, is that my mind is focused on different elements now than it was when I first read it.  Back then, I focused on the material about opening girls and the idea of transforming from AFC to PUA.  When I was reading yesterday, I found myself focused on my current sticking point.

Approach Artist to PUA/Limiting Beliefs:
 I realized that currently I'm stuck in the stage that Style was in when he took that trip to Serbia.  My approach game is awesome.  Sets just blow open like that 5-set at the Apartment on Saturday.  I really don't give myself enough credit sometimes.  I wish I had a video of the way these two girls were looking at me in that 5-set.  Whenever I have those moments of doubt in the future, I have to remember those girls.  At that moment, they wanted me.  My presence just ignited their desire. 

This is where I don't give myself enough credit.  It's like I can understand how a girl would really like me after we've talked for a few minutes.  It's the logical part of my mind that accepts that.  My mind says, "Yeah, I have cool things experiences and I create good conversation," so of course they like me.  My mind, though, still has a problem accepting the reality that I just described in the last paragraph.  Deep down, I have to admit that my reality hasn't accepted that I can just walk up to a set, and within a few seconds, they totally want me.

I suppose there's a part of me that still believes all that social conditioning bullshit that held me back all my life.  For example, I guess part of me still buys into looks mattering.  I'm actually a great example of how game has nothing to do with looks.  I'm not horrible looking.  I'm decent looking.  I actually look a few years younger than my actual age.  I'm overweight, though.  There are way better looking guys in the club than me.  Using social conditioning logic, it makes no sense that girls could totally want me when I walked up.   Of course, none of that matters.  As TD/Owen says in The Blueprint, "Girls are not as shallow as you, guys."  I know part of me must still buy into this BS and that's holding me back. 

When you analyze my approach from the right perspective, it all makes sense.  I actually have to think about these qualities as I do almost all this stuff naturally now through my years of experience.  When I walk up, I have confident body language and good eye contact.  I am totally calm and present.  (I'm surprised how I usually not nervous at all.)   Absent are the negative quality I used to display, for example, I no longer seek validation from the set or qualify myself. 

I have to accept it as a part of my reality that I'm now attractive to girls.  I don't have to keep gaming girls to get them to want me, it happens naturally and often sooner than I expected.  There's not much more, if anything that I need to change there.

Where I'm going wrong is taking it to the next level.  Part of me realizes that, but I've been thinking too far ahead.  I kept telling myself I have to be figuring out logistics and going for the venue change or the extractions to her place or my place.  Here is that proverbial cart/horse problem.  Before any of that matters, I need to kiss close and make out with the girl.  That's where I'm stuck.

"The girl is all over  them and wants to be closed, but he keeps gaming." -Ozzie Transformations

That summarizes what I've been doing.  Several sets come to mind in the past two weeks and the problem is the same.  There was the brunette from Detroit that was gazing into my eyes as I was standing two feet away from here.  The set that keeps bothering me is Foreign Service girl from Barlycorn.  I can just picture how she kept smiling at me as we were talking.  She was just glowing and I don't know why part of me still has a hard part accepting that it was because she wants me.  (It's an entitlement, inner game problem that I'm working on.)  My response was to just keep "gaming."  Sure, I enjoyed talking to her but I needed to seal the deal.  There's plenty of time to keep the awesome conversation going.  There's a window, though, where the girl want to be kissed.  I needed to make that happen.

Phase shift, project sexual state:
When the set is on, and it's on very often nowadays, I have to stop whatever conversation thread is going and move things to where I want to be.  I've been thinking about how I can actually do this.  My simplest kiss closes in the past have been when I'm seated with a girl and I have my arm around her.  There's a pause in the conversation, we gaze into each others eyes, and I lean in slightly and kiss her.  I need to create that situation and it's not gonna happen when I just keep gaming her verbally. 

I've made things easier now that I kino from the beginning.  As long as I progressly escalate kino, the kiss closes will happen more naturally.  When the set is on, and I don't yet have my arm around her, then I can move things that way.  In The Pickup Artist, Mystery tells the guys to use the kiss gambits which I don't like, but they work.  This is one option.  I realize that progress comes through baby steps.  Once I get comfortable with kiss closing, I can abandon these cheesy moves and be more natural.  The guys on the show just the trust test to start kino and then use various routines like the "Are you adventurous" or "Would you like to kiss me?" routines.

How I could have done better in previous sets:
Pickup is like being in the movie Groundhog Day.  The situations keep repeating themselves even though it's with different girls.  I'll remember how I got stuck or screwed up, and when that happens again, I do the right thing, or at least do something different than I did originally.   I feel that by coming up with solutions to previous sets, I'll have a plan of attack for when I'm in a similar situation.

Girl gazing into my eyes, who then turned and talked to her friend cause I didn't do anything:
 This was the set where I opened this girl who was holding a beer pitcher.  I ended up talking to the less attractive friend.  I didn't really feel like I hadn't done anything special, but I have to remember that I'm just attractive naturally now.  She started gazing into my eyes.  Instead of doing nothing, I could have given her some sort of SOI (statement of interest.)   It could be something specific, or it can just be something generic about her vibe. 

"You know, I just really like how you have this passion for travel,"  or "You just give off this positive vibe that  I find really attractive."  

I stroke her hair as I say this and gaze into her eyes.  I move closer and maybe start stroking her face.  Obviously, if she continues to gaze and I'm pretty sure should would have, then I move in and kiss her. 

Foreign Service Girl:
 As I've mentioned, our conversation was going great.  I just needed to change the subject to something more romantic.  I could have done this by moving into some sort of emotional patterning.  The SOI seems like a good method as well.  It's a good thing to tell the girl legitimate reasons why you like her that have nothing to do with her looks.

My chair was close to hers but we were still seating sideways.  I can see that I could have just moved my chair to face her.  I think the move is to do this as I'm talking.  For example, I could say something like, "I know we just met, but I feel this connection to you.  It's like both of us are in touch with our inner explorer.  Like if we were both on Christopher Columbus' ship, we be the one wants to keep sailing instead of turning around."  I'd touch her hand as I'm saying this and gaze into her eyes.  If she didn't flinch and was instead comfortable with my touch, then I could lean in and kiss her.  If not, then at least I'm closer.  I could keep talking and ramp up the kino some more. 

The other move was to drag her onto the dance floor.  As I write that, I feel like it might have been weird to just jump up and want to dance so I suppose I could have starting talking about dancing.  By doing so, I could have patterned some emotions, "Sometimes, I just like to get on the dance floor.  Do you dance?  I like it because I feel like I can just lose myself into that moment.  I just feel the beat and the song seems flow through my body.  My body feels like it's one with the music and I can just forgot what I'm thinking about and just focus on the good feelings flowing throughout my body.... You know what.  Talking about me makes we want to go dance.  Let's go dance."

Detroit girl from a few weeks ago:
 We were talking but my kino was clow as it was like my second time out.  We were having a great conversation though, and suddenly there was a pause in the conversation.  Again, I had the moment where I was gazing into her eyes.  Instead of doing nothing, I could have put my arm around her.  "I like you.  You're so cute and you have this adventurous side."  If we're still gazing into each others eyes, then I lean my head in and kiss her."

I'm focusing on kiss closing when I go out now. 
That's my sticking point.  I just can't be emotionally involved with the outcome.  Mystery says to view the girls as just practice, like a video game, if you have to.  My goal is to approach girls.  I should be happy if I do that regardless of what happens.  Inevitably, things will be in with some set or another, and I have to just make myself phase shift and go for the close.  If I do that, I've succeeded.  I'll get more practice and eventually I'll have this down again.  

The new blog begins

I actually starting blogging on blogspot back in 2005 I believe.  I started a few months before I discovered "The Game."  I rambled about certain theories I had about the universe and the world.  Then, I started sarging and decided it would be a good way to track my progress and analyze my nights out.

At some point, I started posting my reports on my myspace page.  I estimate that I have several hundred posts there.  Unfortunately, the new blog format doesn't allow you to go back to old posts easily.  I need that feature.  Hitting the "Back" button tons of times is not a good interface.  I did some research and found a post from someone on January 2011 complaining about this same thing.  That same person also commented that it's hard to migrate you entire blog from that site too.  He manually moved all his stuff over.  I'd like to do that but probably won't have time.  For right now, I decided I'm moving the posts from the last two weeks.  My new journey began two weeks ago so it's fitting in a way to start the new blog with those posts.

Anyway, back to blogspot cause I've always like the way this site makes it easy to go through old posts.  I have my adventures will be more exciting than ever before.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

"I gotta find my friends" and this lost drunk girl

The set I seemed to be obsessed with last night was this short drunk girl at the after hours place. I remember spotting her when she walked in. When she walked by me, I did RSD Tim's hand web opener to pull her into me. I sensed she was drunk and high buying temperature. I started talking to her but I lost her. In retrospect, I should have done cave man kino off the bat and danced with her. I got to see my loss about two minutes later. She wanders to this guy who senses the same thing I did. He starts dancing with her and he kino escalates while dancing and soon he's making out with her. They made out for two songs and then she wandered off.

"I gotta find my friends."

I'm sure that what she said to him after she left him. That's what she said to me every time I tried to engage her. I tried 3 times to try to get her. I give myself credit for pushing one last time near the end of the night. I guess I screwed things up the first time. That same guy was making out with her again later, but I guess that guy was satisfied with that. He should have been trying to pull her though I guess she was a little wacko anyway.

She just kept walking circles around this small after hours bar. Near the end of the night, I told Seagull he should try to close her. He went and talked to her but after about three minutes (which was longer than I had her attention), she wandered off saying, "I gotta find my friends."

I have to admit that it hurt seeing her make out with that guy. I felt like I missed an opportunity, but I should instead focus now on the other higher quality girls I screwed up with tonight.

A night of fluctuating state:

Tonight was just a bad night for me. I think it's partially because I claimed to have figured everything out after Friday. Instead of just focusing on having fun and pushing my comfort levels, I instead told myself I was gonna get laid tonight. I guess I remember having that mindset when I did my first SNL, but I'm convinced it messed me up today.

My other theory is that it was going out in the cold with no jacket. We started the night at McGee's cause we ended up having to park half a block from that bar. I remember I didn't open but instead went to the back. The live cover band played some songs I liked. I was dancing to the songs and kept thinking about how I should open this blonde next to me. I choded out and didn't do anything. Seagull came up to me and said he had needed my help with a set. I told him I was busy dancing.

Dancing must have pumped my state as I walked to the front of the bar and immediately opened this cute blonde. I was in a raging brush fire state. I remember doing a lot of kino early on. She was seated and there was a good song on so I was kind of dancing in front of her as I talked to her. I asked her to dance but she said she didn't know how to dance. I replied, "I don't either. I just try to move to the beat." She ended up going to the bar cause the birthday friend was there. I walked over to this bored blonde and opened her. I couldn't hear half of what she was saying but I kept plowing. I wanted her to dance too but she didn't want too. I ended up dancing in the aisle cause I liked the song.

Seagull wanted to leave and we went to State. In the one minute walk, I ended up being in a shitty state somehow. We walked in and I choded out and went to the bathroom. I came out and I didn't feel the confidence to open. There were a ton of hot girls there. They probably had more hot girls in that particular bar than all the other places combined. Maybe that's why I was out of state.

Feeling like a master PUA:
We ended up at The Apartment after we left State. I had gotten into a better mood when we stopped by this bar on the way to literally warm up. It's about halfway between the Lincoln Ave bars and State. I wanted to get some heat since I had no coat on. I told myself I needed to redeem myself by opening and I got into a short set there. We went straight upstairs at the Apartment and I ran right onto the semi-empty dance floor.

I told myself I was gonna do an actual dance floor approach today but I never did. What I mean, is that I wanted to open a girl on the dance floor using just dancing. I know I could open verbally. I just have never used straight dance to really open a girl. Well, I guess I sort of did Friday, but that girl made eye contact with me before I danced with her briefly. What I want to do some time is actually see a girl on the dance floor, go up to her, make eye contact and start dancing with her. I watched this awesome PlayerSupreme Youtube video that demonstrates the technique. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. That's probably part of my state problem there. I feel like a chode cause I won't open using this technique and it bothers me. I guess I just have to do it like I did my first verbal cold approach years ago to start this journey.

It really makes no sense why I fear rejection. I remember when I first started dancing at The Apartment. As I was dancing, I could see girls looking and smiling at me.

Dancing at least gets me in massive state. I walked off the dance floor and opened these hot Polish girls. Thie blonde I opened had these massive fake tits that I kept wanting to look at. Seagull came in and we were doing okay. A song came on that I liked. I knew the fake tit girl didn't like to dance so I didn't ask her. Instead I tried asking the third girl who I had barely spoken to. She didn't want to dance, so I went out again myself.

The highlight of the evening was this 5-set I opened after leaving the dance floor again. There was this cute blonde with this interesting hat on. I went right up to her with the strong intent introduction opener I've been using all week. The set just blew wide open. I remember that she liked me. I got introduced to the friends and started talking more to my girl. As I'm talking, the two girls on my left kept staring at me and giggling. The one kept looking at me and then my necklace. I felt awesome.

Inner game problem: We don't believe:

This problem reared it's ugly head. What happened with that 5-set happened again several times in different ways. I had self doubt today for whatever reason and just let opportunities slip by. That girl in that hat was really into me. Suddenly, the birthday girl popped in and wanted to dance. My girl reluctantly left and said, "I'm sorry, but it's her birthday."

I know the fucking move! As this was going down, a real PUA would have grabbed my girl's hand and lead her to the dance floor. A real PUA would have then proceeded to dance and grind with all the girls in the set and then I could have just focused on my girl. Kino escalate, make out, etc.
Instead, I just let her slip away.

I hate to admit it, but we left to check out Barleycorn and when we came back, I spotted that girl in the hat again but I was too chicken to open her. I put in all that work and I just abandoned the set instead of manning up and entering again. She liked me and I'm almost sure she would have responded positively but somehow I got scared. I guess it's time to learn again that I can approach sets again. You can open sets again that blew you out, but most defintely, you have to open sets again like this one. This girl and her friends liked me!

I had another opportunity when we came back to The Apartment. Seagull had opened this 2-set. He was getting along with his girl, but I was stuck with this boring chubby blonde. It turns out there was a third girl by the bar who was the birthday girl. She was this very cute blonde. When she came back to the set, I high fived her and wished her a happy birthday. She was all smiles and seemed to like me. The set was starting to walk away and she said, "Hey, we're going to dance."

Again, I just let them. A real PUA would have grabbed her hand and let the whole set to the dance floor.

Foreign service girl:

Seagull opened this seated 2-set at Barleycorn. We couldn't get the set to go anywhere, but as I was wing for him, I saw this massive 6-set across the room. Two girls were looking at us as we were in this 2-set and smiling. After we left, I told him that they had been watching and I decided I had to open them. I originally wanted to talk to this pale girl with a cute face. She was seated close to this guy so I wasn't sure if they were together. Instead of doing the Intent-Intro opener, I used the old, "Hey, what's with all the serious faces? This looks like a business meeting. Cheer it, we're at the bar. It's Saturday day night." I then started high fiving several girls.

I told to the pale girl and this girl to my left. The pale girl was cuter, but I just didn't seem to be clicking with her. I immediately took a liking to the girl on the left. She kept smiling and me and holding strong eye contact, plus she kept asking me questions. I knew she really liked me too when she kept bombarding me with questions. Girls run AFC style game on your when they like you and just bombard you with questions.

In looks, this girl, Foreign service girl (FS girl), was was average. She had a cute face but she wasn't the prettiest girl. She had a thin body but no spectacular features. Her personality, though, was of SHB 10 quality for me. We started talking about travel and she named off the two places I usually give as places I'd like to visit. She mentioned South African and then Tanzania. This girl has also traveled extensively. There was also this sophisticated air about her. I was sitting there talking to a freshly minted 21 year old at a bar, but I felt like she would fit right in if were sipping some ridiculously expensive wine with rich people at some posh hotel lounge in Monte Carlo.

I just enjoyed talking to her, but what added to my delight was we kept gazing into each others eyes and we both had big smiles on our face. My kino was decent. I kept touching her when I could and I put my arm around her a few times. I hate to admit I made this awkward attempt to touch her hands early on and I remember her pulling away. I probably even looked at her hands when I made the attempt too which is probably how she knew to pull away. It was even the right moment, but I knew I needed to touch her hands. It didn't matter, though, the set kept going, but I'll make sure not to do that again in the future.

The set ended cause Seagull's girl wanted to go find the rest of the group. The girls left, but I had a chance to open her again. I saw the big group at the bar later on and the right move was to open her again, pull her away from the group for isolation and escalate. The other move might have been to move her away from Seagull and his girl originally. I didn't think this was necessary as I had isolation from the big group where I was seated. I suppose I could have pulled her to the dance floor, but I'm not sure if that's necessary. No, what's certain is I should have approached her again.

BTW, I call her foreign service girl cause she wanted to join the Diplomatic core. She wants to have the job that Sidegame's sister and her husband had.

Was I suppose to kiss close:
I opened this 2-set at Barleycorn shortly after I lost FS girl. I vibed with this slightly chubby but cute brunette. I remember she was giving me the doggy dinner bowl look and my face was close to hers. She was seated in a chair and I was standing next to her. Our faces were like a foot apart. We were gazing into each others eyes. I didn't do anything and looked away. Then the girl turned to her friend. She stood up and starting talking to her and completely turned away from me.

I kept wondering if I was supposed to kiss her, but I guess the answer is yes, cause I remembered an important point as I was writing this. When we were gazing into each others eyes, I remember thinking "Should I kiss this girl?" When my mind asks that, it means that I should be doing. That isn't just some random though that happens. My mind has the right reference points to know what it's right. I guess I didn't feel comfortable doing it as I hadn't felt like I had build up to that point.

Ozzie would say I suffered from "excessive gaming." The girl was sitting there giving me her attention, and she wanted to kiss me, and I didn't do anything. I ruined the moment. I caused the girl discomfort by not kissing her when she wanted to be kissed.

I guess it goes back to not believing in myself. I still debate this cause I didn't feel like I had done enough to be at the kiss close point. I could see how I was at that point with Foreign Service girl, but she actually might not have kissed me. This girl, though, wanted to kiss me and I had less of a connection. I guess I don't give myself enough credit. A) When I sense that I should kiss the girl, I should trust my instincts as that instinct doesn't happen that often and it's usually a blazing alarm that I'm in one of those moments. B) I should believe that my game is strong enough to warrant kiss closes. The attitude I should have is, "Of course she wants to kiss me."

Massive sticking points from tonight:

-I'm back to this BS where I'm afraid to approach the girl again after I opened her once. I have to think about Tim's "house analogy." He says in "Flawless Natural" that we should imagine we are building a house. We put up three walls and then the first one falls down. We can either run away from the house, or we can sit there thinking about what we should do. The right move is to go back and try to put up that first wall instead of abandoning the house we started. I just abandoned the house several times tonight. I put in good effort, and I felt an awesome connection with Foregin service girl, but instead of trying to rebuild the wall, I just abandoned the house!

-I just don't believe in myself sometimes still and that holds me back. I didn't even mention this 2-set that was smoking outside The Apartment. Seagull opened them. The set was going well, and I noticed that my girl had finished her ciggy. I knew that the move was to tell the set and we should all continue this inside. Instead, I hesitated, and within 5 seconds, my girl turned to the friend. The friend was finished at that point too, and they said it was cold and were going inside. Here, Seagull and I had the opportunity again to lead them instead and continue the sarge. Seagull's girl even said we should go find them inside.

-I need to be focused on the outcome but not put so much pressure on myself. The only goal I should be thinking about is opening. I should open all the girls I find really attractive. I should try to make the right moves towards closing, but I need to just focus on opening and having fun. It's like I created a performance anxiety where I wasn't gonna feel good unless I pulled a girl and that pressure makes that impossible. I guess I became too emotionally involved in trying to make that happen instead of having the correct mindset that I had the past 3 days.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I extracted a girl for food and all I got was half a bowl of fries

I extraced a girl for food and all I got was half a bowl of fries

Tonight was an adventure that at one point had me feeling like a total chump. That was until I put everything in perspective and then all I do was giggle about the night. I remembered what a shitty night really was back in the day. Back then, I'd stare at girls all night and wish I could talk to them. I was petrified of anything to do with dancing and I'd also spend the whole night wondering what was wrong with me. Contrast that with tonight.

I was back to being an approach machine. I went beyond what I've done in the past. I'd approach a ton of sets, but there would be those sets that I'd look at and be like, "Naw, she's too cute. I'm not gonna open that." Tonight, I saw a cute girl, and I opened her. I with in with intent just like I'm supposed to do. I moved through all the people in the way like a man on a mission. I went right up to the girl, and told her that I wanted to meet her.

It's funny how when you're in an AFC/chode mood, your mind will give you all kind of bullshit rationalizations of why you can't open a set. You tell yourself that she's next to the bar and surrounded by people so you can't open. You tell yourself that they are in the middle of a conversation and you can't bother them. As I said above, when I'd really be attracted to a girl, I wouldn't feel worthy enough to go open her. Tonight, I proved to myself how that's all nonsense. I remembered this cute redhead. She was in the middle of saying something when I swooped in. No problem. As soon as I introduce myself, we're in a our own conversation. The friends didn't even object. They just started talking with each other and I had mini isolation with my target.

I was amazed how many times this happened. Sure I got blown out with a few hot girls but most of them liked me initially. Usually, some distraction ended up happening. The only thing I can do differently in the future is to open them again later in the night. I remember that I ran into that redhead again after she walked away from me. I felt awkward, but I shouldn't be like that. I think one thing I can say is RSD Tim's, "Hey, it's you and me tonight, remember."

"I've gotta leave, you wanna come with?"
I wish I could remember her exact words. What she said was very close to what I typed above. I can't help but think of the movie Ghostbusters. When they are talking to Zuul, she asks them something like, "Are you a god?" After answering that he wasn't, one of the other ghostbusters tells this guy that when someone asks you if you are a god, you say yes!

When a girl asks me to accompany her, the answer has to be yes!
After a long night, we ended up at Division. At the first bar, Seagull hid two beers in his jacket when we walked in. I think it's hilarious that we sneaked in some beers and then started drinking them at he club and no one was the wiser. I remember just laughing when he handed me the beer in the club. At that place, I loved the music and went out on the dance floor, but unfortunately, there really weren't any worthwhile girls there.

We went across the street to my normal stomping grounds. The place was packed. I starting using RSD Tim's trick to stop girls walking by. You gently, but firmly, use the web between your thumb and index finger to catch the girls wrist as she's walking by and pull her into you and introduce yourself. It's very dominant. I known about this move for awhile but I was never confident enough to try it. It is golden! I did it three times and the girls smiled when I did it. I remember this petite girl that I opened. She was so adorable, but I couldn't get the set to click.

Anyway, I ended up standing near this covered pool table. Seagull was working a blonde in a 4-set. I had tried to wing him but I came in too low energy. The girls were dancing so I didn't have enough energy to garner their attention. Rather than look like a low vale, lame friend, I walked away. I planned on going back in, but instead I met this drunk brunette.

When a girl hovers near you, you open her:
I remember seeing this girl in my vicinity. I hesitated for a second, then I remember telling myself, "This is stupid. She right there, open her." I touched her shoulder and introduced myself. I don't remember really saying anything that interesting when two good songs suddenly came on. We were looking at each other and dancing to the music. Thinking about it though, I should have actually tried to dance with her instead of dancing next to her. I could have spun her around and then pulled her close to me.

That song that goes "Don't stop believing" came on. We started singing and moving with the music. When the chorus came on, I put my arm around her and we sang to that too. After the song was over, she uttered the words above about having to leave and asking me to come with.


That was my initial thought, but I figured a venue change was good. She started trying to walk out but was having a hard time moving through the crowd. That took about 5 seconds, but then I quickly realized I have to be a man. I said, "Let me lead us through her." I grabbed her arm and started making my way to the exit.

When we got outside, I started talking about Clarke's. It's this diner on Belmont that Seagull and I always have in mind for venue changing. The last time we were there was when I moved this Polish girl who raised money to save animals.

Be a closer:

She ran to a cab and I remember doubting whether I should follow her or not. I decided that I was gonna try to see this set to the end. I actually thought about Hoobie's video in that moment in doubt. He talks about how the closer basically tries to overcome every obstacle to make the close happen. I followed her. In my head, I figured if she shut the cab door on me, then obviously, I wouldn't get in the cab. She hopped in the cab and I sit down. I tell the Ukrainian cab driver to take us to Clarkes. I was confused that it was on Fullerton but we figured out quickly it was on Belmont.

The girl started acting weird though. She starts calling random people on the phone. I start talking to the cab driver so I'm wouldn't be stuck sitting there feeling stupid. I remember her telling someone how she hates Chicago and how's she glad she's only stuck her for 48 hours. Always trying to filter the right message, I remember thinking, "Okay, maybe no commitment hook up can be possible then."

We got to Clarke's and I paid the cab driver. We walk into Clarke's and she's on the phone. She walks past the counter where you wait to get seated. At this point, I feel weird as she's racing to the bathroom or whatever and I'm following. I actually felt creepy so I stopped and started playing with my phone.

Did she ditch me?
This is the point in the night when I felt like a total chump. I'm like WTF? I just got taken for a cab ride. It was only like $14, but I had it when I spend any money on girls now. I thought she went to the bathroom, but when I started playing with my phone, I also began to think she might have left.

Part of me wanted to take the train back for being stupid. The other part said I gotta make the most of whatever situations I find myself in. I was up here at Clarke's, so I might as well sit down and chill. I started texting Seagull to tell him where I was. He was still in the set.

I ended up grabbing a table and ordering an iced tea. I tell Seagull to try to bring the 4-set here. Sadly, he told me later that he didn't even try to venue change them here.

She's back and she sits down with two girls?!
The whole situation was weird but amusing I suppose. I had brought her to Clarke's cause that's where I like to bring girls, but it's also where her friends happened to be. I guess that's why she was cool with going here. I felt weird though. I felt like she had ditched me, but there she was, a few tables away with some friends.

I had this inner debate for a few minutes. I kept trying to decide whether or not to just chill at my table or go talk to her. I decided that I would not be happy with myself unless I went over there.

I went to her table and said, "Hey, there you are. Introduce me to your friends."

She actually smiled and the friends introduced themselves. I tell them, "I'm glad she was able to find you guys."

The only thing I can think of to say is, "Hey this girl (meaning my girl) was ripping on Chicago? What's up with that?"

She started telling me she'd rather be in New Orleans.

I was standing by this table. My girl and another girl were on one side of the booth. This chubby girl was on the other side and had her legs stretched across where I could sit. I knew I had to sit down as standing there was stupid. I had no problem telling the girl to move, but I also wasn't sure if the girls wanted me to sit down. I pulled a chair from a nearby table and sat next to the booth. The waiter came up and told me that the manager doesn't allow people to sit in the aisle like that. The friend next to my girl said I could sit down with them.

I felt awkward sitting there but I loosened up and we chatted. My girl was being weird and kept playing with the phone. I gave her shit about being too into her phone. The friend rolled her ringer by temple and signaled that the girl was crazy.

I venue changed this girl and all I got was a bowl of fries:
The other two girls were done eating but there was half a bowl of fries. I grabbed some fries and said, "Hey, can I have fries?" Part of me actually felt good that I was getting something out of this. As I'm doing this, Segun texts me and I ask him if he's hungry. He says he is so I asked him to take the train up and meet me.

As I'm waiting, one of the friends asks my girl for water. This is when I realized how wasted my girl was. She starts pouring water from this carafe and she starts spilling it all over the table. I grab the carafe and pour the water. I guess things made more sense know that I realized this girl was blasted. She was still weird though.

The girls left before Seagull got there. The one friend that was seated next to my girl kept thanking me for bringing the girl up there to them. She apologized for her friend too.

Right action:

When Seagull came, I told him the story. As I was waiting, I kept giggling about my night. Yeah, it was some BS that I paid for her cab ride, but it turned out to be an amusing night. I think about how I would have felt if I had let her get in that cab without getting in with her. I would have been writing a blog entry about how stupid I was for not trying to push towards a close. I did my best her. I made huge progress in that I was confident enough to try to make things happen. I just happened to venue change a wacky drunk girl. It's still funny to me that the diner I picked also happened to be the ones where her friends were.

After I dropped Seagull home, I thought about the night. I'm happy about the night's adventures for two reason. First, I had the closer mentality today. Even though I was uncomfortable at times, I tried to take right action. This is in stark contrast to those three Irish girls last week that I didn't even try to extract for food. It feels good to make the right move regardless of what happens. Had I not gotten in the cab, or had I not went and talked to her and her friends at the diner, I would have felt like a chump. Instead, I moved like a champ. The second reason is I think this extraction will make me actually feel more confident about venue changing for food in future sets. I know deep down, it felt like a big deal to do this. It shouldn't feel that way. If you feel that venue changing for food, or kissing girls, or going home with them on the first night is a big deal, then the girls will feel that way too (credit Owen/TD). If you feel like it's normal, then they'll be cool with it. Tonight's adventure has gotten me more comfortable with the food extraction. I can see myself doing this more often and it going a lot smoother. Maybe I'll even get to do it again tonight!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Solid 2 set number close & Zombig Apocalypse

Solid 2 set number close & Zombie Apocalypse

Tonight, part of me didn't want to go out but I also wanted to build momentum for this weekend. Seagull and I are gonna go out Friday so I wanted to get more practice in. I got further motivation from hearing stories about a distant friend finally getting two 3-way experiences with two girls and Seagull telling me about some make outs he had while he was on spring break.

I went to this place I haven't been to in awhile. I remember they had some country/rock band last summer when I went there on a Thursday. As you walk to the front door, you pass by the windows of the bar area. I didn't want to value scan the windows as I was walking by but that also prevented me from seeing if there were any sets. I ended up just walking upstairs as there was no cover. The band was really loud. There were a bunch of girls including this tall Latina chick by they were all in front by the stage area. I just sang along with two songs and then I decided to go back downstairs as the band started to play a song I didn't like.

At this point, I haven't opened a single person. I decide to walk to the bar area and I told myself I was gonna open the first decent looking set that I saw. As I'm walking, I see this seated two set. I open them similar to my good sets on Wednesday night. I walked right up to the girl I liked and showed intent from the beginning. For people who know my preferences, strangely my targeted ended up being this brunette rather than the blonde.

It's great when two girls are giving you IOI's:

I remember after being in this set for like 15 minutes, I just had this moment where I really appreciated how far I had come. This has happened in the past, but it's been so long that I can' even remember the last time I ran a 2-set solo. When I've been off by myself, I've usually tried to pull a girl off a bigger set or tried mixed 3-sets with two girls and one guy. It's actually too bad that I didn't have a wing cause both girls were cool and fun.

I knew my target liked me, but what struck me at the time was how the blonde kept gazing into my eyes too. I can also remember two times where the conversation had a moment of silence. Those two times, the blonde keep things going by asking me questions.

As I'm working this two set, I tried to kino my target when I could. I feel like I didn't do that much kino but it's not like I didn't do any either. I wasn't afraid to escalate, I was just unsure of how much to do since I was stuck in a 2-set with no wing. If I had a wing, I could have isolated my girl somewhere else, or at least have had some one-on-one time with her where I could have don't more intimate kino.

Number close:

Thinking back, when we vibed on both liking Thai food, I probably could/should have said, "Oh, awesome. We gotta go out and get some Thai food" and number closed then. Instead, the bartender told us it was last call so I knew I had to make my move. I didn't want to be grabbing her number as they were walking out. That seemed too much like what most guys would do and I wanted to be slightly different. I also didn't want to just ask for her number.

What I ended up doing was being aware of my time constraint and just talking. When she giggled about something, I knew she was at an emotional spike, so that's when I threw it in. I didn't use any of my cute lines that I've used in the past. I just said, "We gotta hang out again." She agreed and said something like, "We (looking at her friend) go out a lot." I said "Give me your number."

After this, I did standard community stuff. We kept talking for a few more minutes so that I didn't fall into the usual # close pattern of taking the number and leaving. We talked until the light came on about 5 minutes later. I shook the blonde girl's hand and told her it was nice meeting here. Then as my girl stood up from her stool, and told her to give me a hug.

Just as I was about to post this, I decided to add this section. Tonight was a reminder of how going alone can be fruitful and doesn't matter. Guys also feel self coscious about being out there alone. Several gurus learned from going out alone and I used to do it myself way back in the beginning. It's great cause you either sit or stand by yourself and be lame or you learn to force yourself to talk to people. You can talk to guys so you have base to go to during the night, or just jump into talking to girls. BTW, the girls asked me if I was alone early on. I just said, "Yeah" and kept talking. It didn't matter at all. The only way it matters is if you let it bother you. An AFC might have answered that by qualifying himself. For example, he might have said,"Ummm.. Well, I normally don't go out alone.."

Zombie Apocalypse:

I went to the bathroom as I didn't want to walk out with them, though I suppose I could have walked them to their car. In any case, I had to take a piss. As I'm walking out, I open this mixed set just to do so. They recommend that I go to Coach House, but I thought Cadillac Ranch would be better. Like Wednesday night, I debated going home on a high note or pressing forward. I felt like going home was the easy way and I wanted to push things along. I was happy with meeting a really cool girl and number closing but I also wanted to try to pull, if possible.

Well, Caddy was TOTALLY dead. There was no cover. I walked in and there were about 5 customers. I immediately opened this Latino guy and his girl. I ordered a drink as I told myself I was gonna have a drink here, plus there was nothing else to do. As I'm sitting there in this place, I'm thinking about how dead it is. I've never seen that place that empty at 1-2am. It was busier one Sunday after Christmas and one New Years Day evening, which you think would be slower days.

I told this set that I felt like I was in some zombie apocalypse movie. It was like the place was dead cause maybe people knew something that I didn't. Some impending doom was coming and they were off running while we were in this bar oblivious. They giggled. I felt pretty creative for coming up with some random BS like that. I'm gonna drop that in again this weekend at some point.

I ended up staying an hour since I had one drink. I figured there was a chance more people would come. About 6-8 more people came, but only three were girls. Each of the girls had come in with their own guy.

I wanted to practice social freedom by dancing on a totally empty dance floor in an empty place, but I didn't. I blame it on the music. It was some techno crap that I just couldn't dance to at the time. I really feel that if they had played familiar music, I would have danced by myself there.

Brilliant moments of intent

Brilliant moments of intent

I was all set to go out solo but I texted Herschey/T on a whim and we ended up going out. It was good to see him since it's been months. I was in a great state. I've been excited about going out since Saturday as I feel like I see what's been missing from my game.

The first bar we entered had trivia going which isn't the best atmosphere to sarge in. I opened the only two set there. They were into the trivia but it was some hard sounding thing about song lyrics that I was into so we left. We ended up at this bar with a Guiness drink special. I talked to the onlyt 2-set in that bar. I actually had a good conversation with this woman around my age. She wasn't that attractive but she'd be fun to hang out with I suppose. Part of me wanted to try to number close, but I didn't go for it. Maybe it's just excuses, but I've been telling myself that I'm only going for the girls that I'm into instead of trying to settle for less. I should have remembered that line of thinking later in the night.

Opening with intent:
I've written that I've been lacking physical game. I also do too much party/entertainer/intriguing guy and show little if any intent. Sure, I'm fun and girls and guys like talking to me, but that doesn't create the sexual energy that I need. That's especially important for SNL game which is what I'm working on. The thing I need to take from tonight was how I was in the 3rd bar. I was warmed up and in state from being in a twenty minute set with that girl I didn't want to number close.

We walked in, and I immediately spotted this girl that I wanted. I actually did have to take a piss so I went to the bathroom. Sometimes guys, and I've done it of course, try to procrastinate opening by going to the bathroom. This wasn't the case. After I came out, I immediately went up to my girl and opened her. She was next to another girl and there was a guy hovering around them too. With no hesitation, I walked out of the bathroom, and straight up to my girl. My opener is what I've been using a lot, "Hi, I'm Teddy, I wanted to meet you." I felt like I was doing a good job of showing intent as I got up close when I offered my hand, and I made and help eye contact.

We started chatting and I was kinoing a lot more than usual. I know that the last few times I've been out, I've been afraid to touch girls hands. This time was different; there was point where I felt I could emphasize a point by touching her hand.

What hurt me in the set was the friend. After analyzing what went wrong, I realize that I never won the friend over. I remember T came by and I introduced him, but we starting talking to each other.

High buying temperature girl:
As we're talking, I decided to give the last set some space. I ask Herschey to open. He's back with his girlfriend but I know he can open anyway. He opened the set. Then, I used this Jeffy opener that I've been wanting to try. I suppose I should have told Herschey I was gonna do this cause he was thrown off guard. I walked up, put my hands around him and said, "Hey, are you hitting on my boyfriend?"

I've gotta do that again. It cracks me now as I'm writing this. Herschey didn't like it but I find it hilarious. I introduce myself to the set and I realize the one girl is really high buying temperature. Here, I showed intent too. I used "the claw," I held her hand and gazed into her eyes. She was giggling and seemed to be into it, but they she would suddenly switch gears and pull away and shit test me.

Herschey was a little off. He was too busy playing with his phone instead of talking to the other girl. I kept talking to my girl and I decided to sit down. The girl shit test me by saying, "Hey, did you guys ask to sit at my table?" I made a joke about how it was my table. I felt like she was just shit testing me cause she kept giggling as she was giving me shit about sitting down at her table.

We talked for about 2-3 mins more and then she told her friend she was getting shots. While she's gone, I try talking to the friend for a bit. The girl suddenly comes back with two guys in tow.

I swear I rolled my eyes. I still can't pinpoint what was up with this girl. High buying temperature was certain. She also was receptive to me. I imagine these guys just hovered by her as she was ordering drinks since they sensed a drunk, high buying temperature girl.

When they came up, I greeted the guy closest to me. I actually put my arm around him and said, "Hey, this is like my big brother. Look at this guy."

What do I do:

I pulled away from that other set. I knew I needed to give my original girl another shot. I kept asking Herschey what I should do. He kept saying that he didn't know. I replied, "Come on. You know. I even know, but I feel like you telling me will make me feel more confident."

Herschey said he wasn't feeling good and was gonna take the bus home. I told him I needed to try this set again. I opened some other random people when he left so I wasn't standing alone by myself. I must have really been in state cause I normally don't just start opening everyone. Like I opened this mixed 3 set with one guy, I talked to the bouncer, and I talked to some random dudes. Then, I decided to go back in.

My girl is standing next to this old dude and the obstacle girl is standing next to her. I get my girls attention. She turns and looks at me but I don't come in with enough energy to shut out the other guy. In retrospect, I needed to get her attention and just start talking about something so I could get her attention from the guy.

At that point, I'm standing there feeling stupid. I give it one last shot though. I try to talk to the obstacle. I said, "So are you the shy one?" She looks at me and says, "We're catching up with some old friends..." You know, that bullshit blow off line.

Gotta befriend:
I know she was full of shit cause my girl told me that she didn't know anyone in the bar except that obstacle girl. I know for sure that my girl was into me, but the bar distractions got in the way. I suppose I should have tried to isolate her to the other part of the bar. Now that I've got intent down, it's time to work on moving girls again. Finally, as I've been saying, I needed to befriend the obstacle earlier so she didn't feel the need to get rid of me.

I just have to remember those two sets:
I feel great about myself in those two key sets in the 3rd bar. I just need to duplicate how I opened with intent and my game should move to the next level. RSD Ozzie is so right about how it's so much better to start touching the girl from the beginning. Sure, that's standard community knowledge, but his presentation in "Transformations" is what has really helped me with kino. I've been watching his video and the intent part of RSD Tim's "Flawless Natural" over and over to drive home these points. What a difference actually acting with intent does.

Yes, I lose the girls, but this is a big step for me. I'll feel more comfortable repeating what I did today. I saw his these girls responded so much better than they do when I just run my verbal game with little touching.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Dancing, but not opening at after hours

Dancing, but not opening at after hours

I ended up leaving after I got busted out of my set by the obstacle. I saw Herschey waiting for the bus so I decided to give him a ride home. I was disappointed with getting busted out, but I still was feeling the high from experiencing that awakening regarding opening with intent. He showed me some stuff about online game at his place. I starting driving towards my house, but when I hit the Edens Expressway, I decided to extend the night by hitting Division Street.

I actually kept debating whether to go or not, but finally I said that I'll have fun no matter what happens. I did have fun, but I hate to admit that I didn't very little opening. I opened one girl for like 20 seconds and didn't plow. Near the end of the night, I opened this cute, nerdy looking girl with glasses. A song came on that I liked and wanted to dance to so I ejected. Of course, the move would have been to take her to the dance floor.

Time to push dance floor comfort level:
Dance floor no longer scares me. I've established that for certain after tonight. I went out and dance several times, including one time where there was only two people on the dance floor. For moments, I would think about how people might be watching me but I just zoned in my own world and kept dancing. Keep in mind that I don't really know how to dance. I understand the idea of moving with the beat, and I know a few basic moves, but that's all.

Now that I'm comfortable dancing on an empty or full dance floor, I need to push my limits. I need to start opening girls on their and dancing with them. This chubby blonde actually danced with me at one point. She had been dancing with this black guy but for Katy Perry's "Firework," she and I were the only ones one the dance floor. She came near me and we made eye contact. I got a little closer and danced with her, but I didn't do anything more. I could have spun her, and got close, or just did a better job of actually dancing with her, but I didn't. Regardless, I think this experience will help me in the upcoming days as I feel like I'll be more comfortable trying to actually dance with girls.

All these sets:
Sometimes I think that I don't need state. In some ways that's true. I can start the night and just from driving there and listening to some music, I am able to open as soon as I walk into the bar. Well, that's how it was today. I guess the past few days haven't been like that.

Saturday and today, when I got to Division, even after having a good nights both times prior to getting there, I just wouldn't open. To be honest, it was probably because the drive makes me get out of state, plus both times I was alone. I was with a buddy on Saturday, but he went to a different bar. I didn't want to pay cover so I went to this one no cover bar that I always go to.

Besides being alone, both times I've choded around. When I'm walking around not opening, I think I tell myself I can open cause I had done so already that night. The act of walking around makes me lose momentum. I have to treat it like the start of the night. I need to open as soon as I walk in and build up state again.

There were two cute blondes that I wish I had opened. It hurts me to admit that this happens to me. As I'm writing this, I'm convinced it's a state thing combined with how loud and crowded the venue has been. If I just open anything when I walk in, then I'll probably tear up the place like I used to. This bar is the one Seagull and I got the beach set out of so if anything I should have more confidence here.

I think I'll do better next time cause I realize finally what's causing my problem.

Still, I had fun. I never thought that I'd like dancing but I actually do now. Dancing was fun and I almost can't believe how deathly afraid I used to be about getting out there. Instead of going home, I extended my night so I have to give myself credit for that. I hope to go out again tonight and build momentum for this weekend.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Suddenly realized that my verbal game is tight & Free tour research

Suddenly realized that my verbal game is tight & Free tour research

Today I spent watching PUA videos. I also have been researching this RSD free tour that's coming to Chicago soon. I'm most likely gonna sign up for it tonight. There is a catch but that's obvious. First, when you checkout, you have to make sure to uncheck a button that automatically signs you up for a monthly series that will charge you extra and keep charging you until you cancel. The second catch is that you have to make sure to e-mail them after the tour to get your money back. Next, they'll try to dissuade you from wanting to get your money back. Finally, they'll try to get you to sign up for their pay program(s) that weekend.

Of course, I understand all this and am not bothered by it. I understand that they are a business and are trying to make money and develop money making opportunities through this free tour series. It's like what my mother and stepfather do when they go on these time share things when on vacation. They take advantage of the free stuff but make sure to never convinced to buy the rip off time share. It's like this coral jewelry making tour I went to in Honolulu with my girlfriend at the time. They tour gave you a basic free lunch, but you were a little pressured into buying stuff. The tour lets off right into their gift shop. We didn't buy anything and enjoyed the free transportation and lunch.

Verbal game:
While researching, I found a thread here about the RSD program on the fastseduction website. I have a soft spot for that forum as it my first Pickup forum that I ventured on as it was mentioned in the last pages of "The Game." The review is in depth and the part about physical game hit me. Intent and physical game are my weakness right now. I had this epiphany, though, that my verbal is REALLY strong. I often seem like I beat myself up on this blog. I try to focus on when I went wrong as I find that how I can best concentrate on fixing that in the future.

After being back sarging for three sessions, I'm surprised how my material is just spewing out. Saturday night, there was a 2-set that I didn't mention in my report. There was this cute dyed blonde girl that happened to be my age. I found her really attractive but the set was just boring as G confirmed afterwards. I couldn't get anything to click and I was plowing through with all my material. I was surprised how that stuff just comes out.

I also remembered that 3-set. I was creating new material on the fly. I guess it's the part of me that liked creative writing in the past. In sets, I can often relate experiences or describe thing in vivid language that seems to create an emotional response in the girl. It's beyond the words. I guess experience has taught me how to alter my tonality, slow down my words at the appropriate times and even create small, dramatic pauses to emphasize certain key points. Beyond that, when I can feel the emotions when I describe certain travel experiences or enlightening moments in my past and by state transference, the girls feel that too.

Now, if I can just improve my physical game, I will have amazing results very soon.

Entertainer guy down, need more intent... btw, cold sores don't matter

Entertainer guy down, need more intent... btw, cold sore don't matter

I got this cold sore outbreak, probably because I've been stressing my body by running again when I stopped for four months. The stats say most people have this virus (80%), and most people get it as kids. It's still annoying. I used it as an excuse to go out for St Patty's, but some college friends were going out so I decided to go out anyway today. I figured I wouldn't kiss any girls even if the opportunity presented itself cause of the cold sore, but beyond that, I wasn't guaranteed to get that far anyway. I wanted to put in more practice cause I know it will payoff later in the year. Besides, I figured it would be a good exercise. If I could approach with this handicap, then I have no excuse when everything is find. I text G on a whim and it turned out he wanted to go out, which was cool.

We started at this bar that has beers from around the world. There were a few mixed sets but I only did on approach. I did the big ass purse opener but I hadn't calibrated my voice properly so I wasn't speaking load enough. I wanted to approach this cute brunette in a mixed set but I chickened out.

We went out to Wicker Park and I was happy to eat my free pizza at Crocodile. I opened a 3 set there for practice but it didn't go anywhere. We went downstairs despite the $3 cover. I wanted to skip the cover but G insisted on going down there and then he wanted to leave. There were some sets there but it was a difficult place to approach.

Thing turned around at the third bar. These fiesty, petite, but hot latina chicks bumped into G and he joked around with them. I thought the girl liked him but G didn't try to open her again after she left. As we were walking to the front, I opened a 2-set. G said that he likes my simple, "Hi, my name is Teddy" opener. The opener really doesn't matter now as I got opening down. These girls messed with me and the one told G that his friend (me) busted out. She said it in a joking way that I felt like I could have kept plowing, but instead I turned around and opened this 3-set.

G gave me props for opening the seated set cause he said he wouldn't have done it. I know I'm getting back to my PUA self when I can just turn around and open and hook another set just like that. One girl in the set seemed to be really high buying temperature. G ended up talking to her. I actually got to work on this really cute brunette with and Icelandic ethnic background.

Thinking back on the set, I think I needed to show more intent. The girls liked both of us and were happy to talk to us but I just didn't get that "it's on" feeling. I know that it's because I didn't try to kino escalate enough and show intent. What that means, is that I have to project that there is something more her than just fun conversation. I have to kino more, and give her the laser eye contact. I had to show her sexual intent. I think RSD Tim puts it as making her feel like she's in danger of being fucked behind the dumpster.

As they say in the community guy, entertainer guy doesn't get laid. It's the sexworthy guy that does. That's my lesson for tonight.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Girls want us but we're lacking 100% belief

Girls want us but we're lacking the 100% belief

In RSD's "Flawless Natural," Tim talks about going into sets with 100% belief. Tonight, I think that's the only thing Seagull and I were lacking. We went out Monday night without high expectations. We figured places were going to be dead, but there were again enough sets for out for us. We definitely progressed from where we were on Sunday. The first bar we entered, we didn't enter a set right way and had a few $1 beers which I induldged enough of to get drunk. People who know me know that means I had about 4-5 beers in like 10-15 minutes. While I was on the third beer, Seagull and I both opened the two 2-sets in the bar. We were trying to convince the other to go open when I blurted out, "The right and fair way to do this would be for me to open that set, and you open the other at the same time."

"You mean like old times?" Seagull said.

Yes, that's how it used to be. We'd enter the bar and we both be in sets before you could blink an eye. Those sets didn't go anywhere. The set I opened had too boring girls. They looked bored before I opened them, they seemed boring, and didn't perk up to any material that I threw out. Seagull left his set right away too.

We went across the street and I opened this 3-set immediately as I walked in. They actually seemed to like us and were asking us question. There was a lull in the conversation and we decided to leave. After we left, we both agreed that we should have kept going.

I can still create attraction:

That struck me as we were driving home. The sets above were ended up being practice sets as we did much better when we got to Division street. I was hard on both of us initially during the ride home. In some ways, I still see ourselves back at the peak of our game meaning that I know the awesome things we are capable of doing so our mistakes are disappointing when view against our old PUA selves. The mistakes we made today were just stupid ones. We just didn't believe, as I said in the beginning. We know exactly what we need to do. Part of me was telling me what I should do but whatever was in the drivers seat in my head just refused to do the right move, or I'd give half an effort so I felt like I was doing something.

I know I'm hard on myself as I was basically completely anti-social for the last four months. To just jump back into the sarging and open sets last night and then getting deeper into some sets tonight is a huge turn around. I need to give myself credit for that.

Just gazing into her eyes:

The first real turning point set was this two set Seagull opened on the dance floor. He just started talking to them. At that point, I must have been coming down from my buzz cause I wasn't feel confident. I came back from the bathroom and I sent him a text asking him where he was even though I could see he was in a set. I just wanted to give myself an excuse for not helping him right way. In a few minutes, though, I got over that and entered the set.

There were too cute girls from Detroit and mine was a cute brunette. We were talking for a few minutes and then we kept having those pauses where we'd just gaze into each others eyes. I remember thinking, "Wow, this is on!" This was the first time this had happened since I started sarging again Sunday. I knew I needed kino escalate. Heck, I knew I probably was at the point where a kiss close could happen cause the girl was into me, but I didn't do anything. I kept talking. Eventually the girls went to the bathroom and then left.

Seagull was even farther but failed in the same way. He told me later in the car that his girl was really into him. He had kino escalated to the point where he had his had on her neck and was stroking her hair. Just some part of him held himself back from actually kissing her.

Finally, the girl had mentioned they wanted to go to another. We missed our cue there. We should have worked for the venue change. Instead, we chicked out of the kiss close and then the girls ended up leaving cause they didn't like that bar in addition to the fact that we didn't give them the true amazing experience we were more than capable of giving.

Irish Girls:

We opened this 3 set of Irish girls. The cutest one was the one I ended up talking to when I got into the set. Let's call her Irish PhD as she is working on her Ph.D. As I'm writing this, I just realized that I need to remember this set when I'm hesitant to talk. RSD Tim talks about playing out this story in your head about how a set is going to go. Besides taking you out of being "in the moment," you can never tell how a set is going to go until you enter. I would have pictured this chubby redhead in the set to be the friendliest and the cutest on the least friendly, but it turned out opposite. Irish PhD was a sweet girl who seemed high buying temperature and she also kept the conversation going. She was very outgoing.

I felt like the set was on. The conversation was going well and she was responding to my minimal kino. She occasionally dropped this thing about her boyfriend. She has a serious boyfriend back in Ireland, but she's her in the states studying. Now, I know that you're supposed to just ignore that. I'm realistic also that she might love this guy but she also still has desires. She's most likely already cheated on him, but honestly, that doesn't mean that she doesn't love him or won't end up married to the guy. I just felt like maybe I should work the redhead since I do love redheads and somehow felt it might be easier than trying to close this cutie with the boyfriend. Who knows if it would have worked, but the opportunity was there. Irish PhD was high buying temperature, so I should have just continued to sarge her.

Instead, I started talking to the redhead but she wasn't as outgoing as the other two girls. I also didn't feel any connection with her. Seagull's target ended up leaving for a bit so Seagull started talking to my girl. He was doing well with her too but he heard the boyfriend story too and didn't try to proceed.

We have to dance:

The set was going well until we were faced with the dance floor dilemma. I could tell Irish PhD wanted to dance. A song even came up that I liked and normally would dance to even by myself. I didn't want to take her to the dance floor. She ended up pulling Seagull's original girl onto the dance floor.

Seagull won't go onto the dance floor cause he tells me he doesn't dance, even though he's made out with girls on the dance floor before. Eventually, I get him out there. Both of us, though, won't dance with the girls. For awhile, I kept thinking about how it's dumb that I'm now willing to go on the dance floor by myself yet I'm still scared to try to dance with girls we've already been in set with. I realized on the drive home that I'll go dance by myself cause I really don't care what people watching me think. I could care less if some chode laughs at me so that's why I'll dance on an empty dance floor by myself. I guess I didn't want to really try to dance with the girls cause I was afraid they'd reject me. Stupid fear, of course, cause they liked us and would be fine with dancing. That fear of rejection is still strong in me at times and I need to work on conquering that.

Seagull danced by himself and we danced by each other but wouldn't dance by the girls. Eventually some dudes starting with some of the girls.

Half assed venue change attempts:

Near the end of the night, we've drifted away from our girls and there are guys trying to sarge our girls. I grabbed Seagull and told him we have to do something. Of course, I knew what to do, but I was hoping I could motivate him to do something or by trying to motivate him, I was hoping I could make myself go do something. Seagull said he went up to the girls and mentioned going to Clarke's but they said they were probably going to bed after the bar. He knows, of course, that you gotta oversell the place and then mention going.

After that ateempt, I saw my girl by the bar. I told Seagull that at least he made an effort. I felt I should do the same. I'll give myself credit for this. I knew that I to pump her state up and then I could go for the venue change.

I went over to her and said, "Hey, you're not falling asleep yet are you? Hey, high five."

I continued, "You know, I wish we could transport ourselves to Las Vegas or Miami. I hear the bars don't close there. Wouldn't that be awesome?" I told two stories about LV and Miami.

She was finished paying her bill so she walked back to the table which was right nest to the bar. These Eastern Europeans girls next to us were celebrating a birthday. The girls had flowers and balloons bunched up so they could take them home. I pointed to the balloons and said, "We need to grab those balloons that way, wherever we go, there be a party. We'd just let the balloons go and have fun." Irish PhD giggled.

The lines sound silly but the delivery was right. I had pumped her state again. Then, I pulled away and talked to Seagull. It's like I knew I needed to push this venue changed and I decided to just pull away and not ask for it.

We're both off:
That's just what it was tonight. We lacked the complete confidence to follow through on what we knew we needed to do. We went home without girls as a result. Seagull's game was strong. Even after not talking to his original target for that last hour, she still wanted him. I remember she had been dancing with this guy. Seagull and I were at the table. She came walking up and went right to Seagull. I think she even had her arm around him. The guy had followed and was looking at her talking to Seagull. As I wing, I knew I had to talk to the dude to distract him. I didn't want to, but I was ready to do so. I just watched. I told myself if the dude tried to jump in, then I'd intercept him and talk about some BS. He didn't have strong game as he just stood there dumbfounded. Seagull told me that she told him something like, "Sorry, I've been stuck dancing with this guy."

Unfortunately, Seagull didn't do anything. We ended up just leaving and we both feel stupid about our failure and our half effort attempts to push for the venue change.

I told him on the ride home, "I know you know this, but obviously she wanted you. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't have come up to you like that trying to get you to get rid of the chode."


We've made progress in two days. In a way, it's like starting over, but we're learning the lessons over the span of hours whereas it took weeks or months, and even years, when we first started. Bam, we're past the approach anxiety. Bam, we're getting into good sets and getting in sets where the girls want us to kiss close them. I feel like I'm back to my level of game right before I had that wild New Years Week at the end of 2009. It sucks that my game dropped but that's what happens when you don't practice it. When I view it against being completely antisocial and making this much progress in two days, I feel a ton better. I never mentioned it here, but I let myself get so fucked up at one point this last four months, that I felt uncomfortable being out out in public while shopping at Walmart.

I'm gonna work on kino escalation and I'm gonna watch Ozzie's Transformation video series again so I can get back into that closer mentality. I should be happy with the progress I've made in a short time and believe that with dedication, I'll again regain my skills and soon create even more exciting experiences.