Friday, March 25, 2011
Brilliant moments of intent
The first bar we entered had trivia going which isn't the best atmosphere to sarge in. I opened the only two set there. They were into the trivia but it was some hard sounding thing about song lyrics that I was into so we left. We ended up at this bar with a Guiness drink special. I talked to the onlyt 2-set in that bar. I actually had a good conversation with this woman around my age. She wasn't that attractive but she'd be fun to hang out with I suppose. Part of me wanted to try to number close, but I didn't go for it. Maybe it's just excuses, but I've been telling myself that I'm only going for the girls that I'm into instead of trying to settle for less. I should have remembered that line of thinking later in the night.
Opening with intent:
I've written that I've been lacking physical game. I also do too much party/entertainer/intriguing guy and show little if any intent. Sure, I'm fun and girls and guys like talking to me, but that doesn't create the sexual energy that I need. That's especially important for SNL game which is what I'm working on. The thing I need to take from tonight was how I was in the 3rd bar. I was warmed up and in state from being in a twenty minute set with that girl I didn't want to number close.
We walked in, and I immediately spotted this girl that I wanted. I actually did have to take a piss so I went to the bathroom. Sometimes guys, and I've done it of course, try to procrastinate opening by going to the bathroom. This wasn't the case. After I came out, I immediately went up to my girl and opened her. She was next to another girl and there was a guy hovering around them too. With no hesitation, I walked out of the bathroom, and straight up to my girl. My opener is what I've been using a lot, "Hi, I'm Teddy, I wanted to meet you." I felt like I was doing a good job of showing intent as I got up close when I offered my hand, and I made and help eye contact.
We started chatting and I was kinoing a lot more than usual. I know that the last few times I've been out, I've been afraid to touch girls hands. This time was different; there was point where I felt I could emphasize a point by touching her hand.
What hurt me in the set was the friend. After analyzing what went wrong, I realize that I never won the friend over. I remember T came by and I introduced him, but we starting talking to each other.
High buying temperature girl:
As we're talking, I decided to give the last set some space. I ask Herschey to open. He's back with his girlfriend but I know he can open anyway. He opened the set. Then, I used this Jeffy opener that I've been wanting to try. I suppose I should have told Herschey I was gonna do this cause he was thrown off guard. I walked up, put my hands around him and said, "Hey, are you hitting on my boyfriend?"
I've gotta do that again. It cracks me now as I'm writing this. Herschey didn't like it but I find it hilarious. I introduce myself to the set and I realize the one girl is really high buying temperature. Here, I showed intent too. I used "the claw," I held her hand and gazed into her eyes. She was giggling and seemed to be into it, but they she would suddenly switch gears and pull away and shit test me.
Herschey was a little off. He was too busy playing with his phone instead of talking to the other girl. I kept talking to my girl and I decided to sit down. The girl shit test me by saying, "Hey, did you guys ask to sit at my table?" I made a joke about how it was my table. I felt like she was just shit testing me cause she kept giggling as she was giving me shit about sitting down at her table.
We talked for about 2-3 mins more and then she told her friend she was getting shots. While she's gone, I try talking to the friend for a bit. The girl suddenly comes back with two guys in tow.
I swear I rolled my eyes. I still can't pinpoint what was up with this girl. High buying temperature was certain. She also was receptive to me. I imagine these guys just hovered by her as she was ordering drinks since they sensed a drunk, high buying temperature girl.
When they came up, I greeted the guy closest to me. I actually put my arm around him and said, "Hey, this is like my big brother. Look at this guy."
What do I do:
I pulled away from that other set. I knew I needed to give my original girl another shot. I kept asking Herschey what I should do. He kept saying that he didn't know. I replied, "Come on. You know. I even know, but I feel like you telling me will make me feel more confident."
Herschey said he wasn't feeling good and was gonna take the bus home. I told him I needed to try this set again. I opened some other random people when he left so I wasn't standing alone by myself. I must have really been in state cause I normally don't just start opening everyone. Like I opened this mixed 3 set with one guy, I talked to the bouncer, and I talked to some random dudes. Then, I decided to go back in.
My girl is standing next to this old dude and the obstacle girl is standing next to her. I get my girls attention. She turns and looks at me but I don't come in with enough energy to shut out the other guy. In retrospect, I needed to get her attention and just start talking about something so I could get her attention from the guy.
At that point, I'm standing there feeling stupid. I give it one last shot though. I try to talk to the obstacle. I said, "So are you the shy one?" She looks at me and says, "We're catching up with some old friends..." You know, that bullshit blow off line.
I know she was full of shit cause my girl told me that she didn't know anyone in the bar except that obstacle girl. I know for sure that my girl was into me, but the bar distractions got in the way. I suppose I should have tried to isolate her to the other part of the bar. Now that I've got intent down, it's time to work on moving girls again. Finally, as I've been saying, I needed to befriend the obstacle earlier so she didn't feel the need to get rid of me.
I just have to remember those two sets:
I feel great about myself in those two key sets in the 3rd bar. I just need to duplicate how I opened with intent and my game should move to the next level. RSD Ozzie is so right about how it's so much better to start touching the girl from the beginning. Sure, that's standard community knowledge, but his presentation in "Transformations" is what has really helped me with kino. I've been watching his video and the intent part of RSD Tim's "Flawless Natural" over and over to drive home these points. What a difference actually acting with intent does.
Yes, I lose the girls, but this is a big step for me. I'll feel more comfortable repeating what I did today. I saw his these girls responded so much better than they do when I just run my verbal game with little touching.