Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Girls want us but we're lacking 100% belief
"You mean like old times?" Seagull said.
Yes, that's how it used to be. We'd enter the bar and we both be in sets before you could blink an eye. Those sets didn't go anywhere. The set I opened had too boring girls. They looked bored before I opened them, they seemed boring, and didn't perk up to any material that I threw out. Seagull left his set right away too.
We went across the street and I opened this 3-set immediately as I walked in. They actually seemed to like us and were asking us question. There was a lull in the conversation and we decided to leave. After we left, we both agreed that we should have kept going.
I can still create attraction:
That struck me as we were driving home. The sets above were ended up being practice sets as we did much better when we got to Division street. I was hard on both of us initially during the ride home. In some ways, I still see ourselves back at the peak of our game meaning that I know the awesome things we are capable of doing so our mistakes are disappointing when view against our old PUA selves. The mistakes we made today were just stupid ones. We just didn't believe, as I said in the beginning. We know exactly what we need to do. Part of me was telling me what I should do but whatever was in the drivers seat in my head just refused to do the right move, or I'd give half an effort so I felt like I was doing something.
I know I'm hard on myself as I was basically completely anti-social for the last four months. To just jump back into the sarging and open sets last night and then getting deeper into some sets tonight is a huge turn around. I need to give myself credit for that.
Just gazing into her eyes:
The first real turning point set was this two set Seagull opened on the dance floor. He just started talking to them. At that point, I must have been coming down from my buzz cause I wasn't feel confident. I came back from the bathroom and I sent him a text asking him where he was even though I could see he was in a set. I just wanted to give myself an excuse for not helping him right way. In a few minutes, though, I got over that and entered the set.
There were too cute girls from Detroit and mine was a cute brunette. We were talking for a few minutes and then we kept having those pauses where we'd just gaze into each others eyes. I remember thinking, "Wow, this is on!" This was the first time this had happened since I started sarging again Sunday. I knew I needed kino escalate. Heck, I knew I probably was at the point where a kiss close could happen cause the girl was into me, but I didn't do anything. I kept talking. Eventually the girls went to the bathroom and then left.
Seagull was even farther but failed in the same way. He told me later in the car that his girl was really into him. He had kino escalated to the point where he had his had on her neck and was stroking her hair. Just some part of him held himself back from actually kissing her.
Finally, the girl had mentioned they wanted to go to another. We missed our cue there. We should have worked for the venue change. Instead, we chicked out of the kiss close and then the girls ended up leaving cause they didn't like that bar in addition to the fact that we didn't give them the true amazing experience we were more than capable of giving.
We opened this 3 set of Irish girls. The cutest one was the one I ended up talking to when I got into the set. Let's call her Irish PhD as she is working on her Ph.D. As I'm writing this, I just realized that I need to remember this set when I'm hesitant to talk. RSD Tim talks about playing out this story in your head about how a set is going to go. Besides taking you out of being "in the moment," you can never tell how a set is going to go until you enter. I would have pictured this chubby redhead in the set to be the friendliest and the cutest on the least friendly, but it turned out opposite. Irish PhD was a sweet girl who seemed high buying temperature and she also kept the conversation going. She was very outgoing.
I felt like the set was on. The conversation was going well and she was responding to my minimal kino. She occasionally dropped this thing about her boyfriend. She has a serious boyfriend back in Ireland, but she's her in the states studying. Now, I know that you're supposed to just ignore that. I'm realistic also that she might love this guy but she also still has desires. She's most likely already cheated on him, but honestly, that doesn't mean that she doesn't love him or won't end up married to the guy. I just felt like maybe I should work the redhead since I do love redheads and somehow felt it might be easier than trying to close this cutie with the boyfriend. Who knows if it would have worked, but the opportunity was there. Irish PhD was high buying temperature, so I should have just continued to sarge her.
Instead, I started talking to the redhead but she wasn't as outgoing as the other two girls. I also didn't feel any connection with her. Seagull's target ended up leaving for a bit so Seagull started talking to my girl. He was doing well with her too but he heard the boyfriend story too and didn't try to proceed.
We have to dance:
The set was going well until we were faced with the dance floor dilemma. I could tell Irish PhD wanted to dance. A song even came up that I liked and normally would dance to even by myself. I didn't want to take her to the dance floor. She ended up pulling Seagull's original girl onto the dance floor.
Seagull won't go onto the dance floor cause he tells me he doesn't dance, even though he's made out with girls on the dance floor before. Eventually, I get him out there. Both of us, though, won't dance with the girls. For awhile, I kept thinking about how it's dumb that I'm now willing to go on the dance floor by myself yet I'm still scared to try to dance with girls we've already been in set with. I realized on the drive home that I'll go dance by myself cause I really don't care what people watching me think. I could care less if some chode laughs at me so that's why I'll dance on an empty dance floor by myself. I guess I didn't want to really try to dance with the girls cause I was afraid they'd reject me. Stupid fear, of course, cause they liked us and would be fine with dancing. That fear of rejection is still strong in me at times and I need to work on conquering that.
Seagull danced by himself and we danced by each other but wouldn't dance by the girls. Eventually some dudes starting with some of the girls.
Half assed venue change attempts:
Near the end of the night, we've drifted away from our girls and there are guys trying to sarge our girls. I grabbed Seagull and told him we have to do something. Of course, I knew what to do, but I was hoping I could motivate him to do something or by trying to motivate him, I was hoping I could make myself go do something. Seagull said he went up to the girls and mentioned going to Clarke's but they said they were probably going to bed after the bar. He knows, of course, that you gotta oversell the place and then mention going.
After that ateempt, I saw my girl by the bar. I told Seagull that at least he made an effort. I felt I should do the same. I'll give myself credit for this. I knew that I to pump her state up and then I could go for the venue change.
I went over to her and said, "Hey, you're not falling asleep yet are you? Hey, high five."
I continued, "You know, I wish we could transport ourselves to Las Vegas or Miami. I hear the bars don't close there. Wouldn't that be awesome?" I told two stories about LV and Miami.
She was finished paying her bill so she walked back to the table which was right nest to the bar. These Eastern Europeans girls next to us were celebrating a birthday. The girls had flowers and balloons bunched up so they could take them home. I pointed to the balloons and said, "We need to grab those balloons that way, wherever we go, there be a party. We'd just let the balloons go and have fun." Irish PhD giggled.
The lines sound silly but the delivery was right. I had pumped her state again. Then, I pulled away and talked to Seagull. It's like I knew I needed to push this venue changed and I decided to just pull away and not ask for it.
We're both off:
That's just what it was tonight. We lacked the complete confidence to follow through on what we knew we needed to do. We went home without girls as a result. Seagull's game was strong. Even after not talking to his original target for that last hour, she still wanted him. I remember she had been dancing with this guy. Seagull and I were at the table. She came walking up and went right to Seagull. I think she even had her arm around him. The guy had followed and was looking at her talking to Seagull. As I wing, I knew I had to talk to the dude to distract him. I didn't want to, but I was ready to do so. I just watched. I told myself if the dude tried to jump in, then I'd intercept him and talk about some BS. He didn't have strong game as he just stood there dumbfounded. Seagull told me that she told him something like, "Sorry, I've been stuck dancing with this guy."
Unfortunately, Seagull didn't do anything. We ended up just leaving and we both feel stupid about our failure and our half effort attempts to push for the venue change.
I told him on the ride home, "I know you know this, but obviously she wanted you. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't have come up to you like that trying to get you to get rid of the chode."
We've made progress in two days. In a way, it's like starting over, but we're learning the lessons over the span of hours whereas it took weeks or months, and even years, when we first started. Bam, we're past the approach anxiety. Bam, we're getting into good sets and getting in sets where the girls want us to kiss close them. I feel like I'm back to my level of game right before I had that wild New Years Week at the end of 2009. It sucks that my game dropped but that's what happens when you don't practice it. When I view it against being completely antisocial and making this much progress in two days, I feel a ton better. I never mentioned it here, but I let myself get so fucked up at one point this last four months, that I felt uncomfortable being out out in public while shopping at Walmart.
I'm gonna work on kino escalation and I'm gonna watch Ozzie's Transformation video series again so I can get back into that closer mentality. I should be happy with the progress I've made in a short time and believe that with dedication, I'll again regain my skills and soon create even more exciting experiences.