Saturday, March 26, 2011
I extracted a girl for food and all I got was half a bowl of fries
I was back to being an approach machine. I went beyond what I've done in the past. I'd approach a ton of sets, but there would be those sets that I'd look at and be like, "Naw, she's too cute. I'm not gonna open that." Tonight, I saw a cute girl, and I opened her. I with in with intent just like I'm supposed to do. I moved through all the people in the way like a man on a mission. I went right up to the girl, and told her that I wanted to meet her.
It's funny how when you're in an AFC/chode mood, your mind will give you all kind of bullshit rationalizations of why you can't open a set. You tell yourself that she's next to the bar and surrounded by people so you can't open. You tell yourself that they are in the middle of a conversation and you can't bother them. As I said above, when I'd really be attracted to a girl, I wouldn't feel worthy enough to go open her. Tonight, I proved to myself how that's all nonsense. I remembered this cute redhead. She was in the middle of saying something when I swooped in. No problem. As soon as I introduce myself, we're in a our own conversation. The friends didn't even object. They just started talking with each other and I had mini isolation with my target.
I was amazed how many times this happened. Sure I got blown out with a few hot girls but most of them liked me initially. Usually, some distraction ended up happening. The only thing I can do differently in the future is to open them again later in the night. I remember that I ran into that redhead again after she walked away from me. I felt awkward, but I shouldn't be like that. I think one thing I can say is RSD Tim's, "Hey, it's you and me tonight, remember."
"I've gotta leave, you wanna come with?"
I wish I could remember her exact words. What she said was very close to what I typed above. I can't help but think of the movie Ghostbusters. When they are talking to Zuul, she asks them something like, "Are you a god?" After answering that he wasn't, one of the other ghostbusters tells this guy that when someone asks you if you are a god, you say yes!
When a girl asks me to accompany her, the answer has to be yes!
After a long night, we ended up at Division. At the first bar, Seagull hid two beers in his jacket when we walked in. I think it's hilarious that we sneaked in some beers and then started drinking them at he club and no one was the wiser. I remember just laughing when he handed me the beer in the club. At that place, I loved the music and went out on the dance floor, but unfortunately, there really weren't any worthwhile girls there.
We went across the street to my normal stomping grounds. The place was packed. I starting using RSD Tim's trick to stop girls walking by. You gently, but firmly, use the web between your thumb and index finger to catch the girls wrist as she's walking by and pull her into you and introduce yourself. It's very dominant. I known about this move for awhile but I was never confident enough to try it. It is golden! I did it three times and the girls smiled when I did it. I remember this petite girl that I opened. She was so adorable, but I couldn't get the set to click.
Anyway, I ended up standing near this covered pool table. Seagull was working a blonde in a 4-set. I had tried to wing him but I came in too low energy. The girls were dancing so I didn't have enough energy to garner their attention. Rather than look like a low vale, lame friend, I walked away. I planned on going back in, but instead I met this drunk brunette.
When a girl hovers near you, you open her:
I remember seeing this girl in my vicinity. I hesitated for a second, then I remember telling myself, "This is stupid. She right there, open her." I touched her shoulder and introduced myself. I don't remember really saying anything that interesting when two good songs suddenly came on. We were looking at each other and dancing to the music. Thinking about it though, I should have actually tried to dance with her instead of dancing next to her. I could have spun her around and then pulled her close to me.
That song that goes "Don't stop believing" came on. We started singing and moving with the music. When the chorus came on, I put my arm around her and we sang to that too. After the song was over, she uttered the words above about having to leave and asking me to come with.
That was my initial thought, but I figured a venue change was good. She started trying to walk out but was having a hard time moving through the crowd. That took about 5 seconds, but then I quickly realized I have to be a man. I said, "Let me lead us through her." I grabbed her arm and started making my way to the exit.
When we got outside, I started talking about Clarke's. It's this diner on Belmont that Seagull and I always have in mind for venue changing. The last time we were there was when I moved this Polish girl who raised money to save animals.
Be a closer:
She ran to a cab and I remember doubting whether I should follow her or not. I decided that I was gonna try to see this set to the end. I actually thought about Hoobie's video in that moment in doubt. He talks about how the closer basically tries to overcome every obstacle to make the close happen. I followed her. In my head, I figured if she shut the cab door on me, then obviously, I wouldn't get in the cab. She hopped in the cab and I sit down. I tell the Ukrainian cab driver to take us to Clarkes. I was confused that it was on Fullerton but we figured out quickly it was on Belmont.
The girl started acting weird though. She starts calling random people on the phone. I start talking to the cab driver so I'm wouldn't be stuck sitting there feeling stupid. I remember her telling someone how she hates Chicago and how's she glad she's only stuck her for 48 hours. Always trying to filter the right message, I remember thinking, "Okay, maybe no commitment hook up can be possible then."
We got to Clarke's and I paid the cab driver. We walk into Clarke's and she's on the phone. She walks past the counter where you wait to get seated. At this point, I feel weird as she's racing to the bathroom or whatever and I'm following. I actually felt creepy so I stopped and started playing with my phone.
Did she ditch me?
This is the point in the night when I felt like a total chump. I'm like WTF? I just got taken for a cab ride. It was only like $14, but I had it when I spend any money on girls now. I thought she went to the bathroom, but when I started playing with my phone, I also began to think she might have left.
Part of me wanted to take the train back for being stupid. The other part said I gotta make the most of whatever situations I find myself in. I was up here at Clarke's, so I might as well sit down and chill. I started texting Seagull to tell him where I was. He was still in the set.
I ended up grabbing a table and ordering an iced tea. I tell Seagull to try to bring the 4-set here. Sadly, he told me later that he didn't even try to venue change them here.
She's back and she sits down with two girls?!
The whole situation was weird but amusing I suppose. I had brought her to Clarke's cause that's where I like to bring girls, but it's also where her friends happened to be. I guess that's why she was cool with going here. I felt weird though. I felt like she had ditched me, but there she was, a few tables away with some friends.
I had this inner debate for a few minutes. I kept trying to decide whether or not to just chill at my table or go talk to her. I decided that I would not be happy with myself unless I went over there.
I went to her table and said, "Hey, there you are. Introduce me to your friends."
She actually smiled and the friends introduced themselves. I tell them, "I'm glad she was able to find you guys."
The only thing I can think of to say is, "Hey this girl (meaning my girl) was ripping on Chicago? What's up with that?"
She started telling me she'd rather be in New Orleans.
I was standing by this table. My girl and another girl were on one side of the booth. This chubby girl was on the other side and had her legs stretched across where I could sit. I knew I had to sit down as standing there was stupid. I had no problem telling the girl to move, but I also wasn't sure if the girls wanted me to sit down. I pulled a chair from a nearby table and sat next to the booth. The waiter came up and told me that the manager doesn't allow people to sit in the aisle like that. The friend next to my girl said I could sit down with them.
I felt awkward sitting there but I loosened up and we chatted. My girl was being weird and kept playing with the phone. I gave her shit about being too into her phone. The friend rolled her ringer by temple and signaled that the girl was crazy.
I venue changed this girl and all I got was a bowl of fries:
The other two girls were done eating but there was half a bowl of fries. I grabbed some fries and said, "Hey, can I have fries?" Part of me actually felt good that I was getting something out of this. As I'm doing this, Segun texts me and I ask him if he's hungry. He says he is so I asked him to take the train up and meet me.
As I'm waiting, one of the friends asks my girl for water. This is when I realized how wasted my girl was. She starts pouring water from this carafe and she starts spilling it all over the table. I grab the carafe and pour the water. I guess things made more sense know that I realized this girl was blasted. She was still weird though.
The girls left before Seagull got there. The one friend that was seated next to my girl kept thanking me for bringing the girl up there to them. She apologized for her friend too.
When Seagull came, I told him the story. As I was waiting, I kept giggling about my night. Yeah, it was some BS that I paid for her cab ride, but it turned out to be an amusing night. I think about how I would have felt if I had let her get in that cab without getting in with her. I would have been writing a blog entry about how stupid I was for not trying to push towards a close. I did my best her. I made huge progress in that I was confident enough to try to make things happen. I just happened to venue change a wacky drunk girl. It's still funny to me that the diner I picked also happened to be the ones where her friends were.
After I dropped Seagull home, I thought about the night. I'm happy about the night's adventures for two reason. First, I had the closer mentality today. Even though I was uncomfortable at times, I tried to take right action. This is in stark contrast to those three Irish girls last week that I didn't even try to extract for food. It feels good to make the right move regardless of what happens. Had I not gotten in the cab, or had I not went and talked to her and her friends at the diner, I would have felt like a chump. Instead, I moved like a champ. The second reason is I think this extraction will make me actually feel more confident about venue changing for food in future sets. I know deep down, it felt like a big deal to do this. It shouldn't feel that way. If you feel that venue changing for food, or kissing girls, or going home with them on the first night is a big deal, then the girls will feel that way too (credit Owen/TD). If you feel like it's normal, then they'll be cool with it. Tonight's adventure has gotten me more comfortable with the food extraction. I can see myself doing this more often and it going a lot smoother. Maybe I'll even get to do it again tonight!