Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Math girl: LTR material? & Community conditioning

I had that initial Day 2 with Math girl that I blogged about Sept 30. I went on a Day 3 that went great on Thursday and we hung out again Monday night. I feel weird writing a detailed report about her probably because I do actually like her.

Sometimes, I'm wondering what I'm gonna say on Day 2's, on the phone or through text. That happened when I first text her, but after that, it was like we just clicked. I can't even remember a moment when we've hung out in person and I've felt my mind trying to think of what to say, or trying to fill some void in the conversation. We just feel really at ease talking to each other.

Things are moving slower than I usually expect and part of me was frustrated with that initially. One reason, is that I feared she was gonna be like my first girlfriend. I was worried she didn't like sex, but the other night, we had a good talk that cleared things up. 2j's theory after the Day2 was that Math girl really liked me and when girls do that, they often want to make you wait. Sometimes they do this because they fear that if they hook up too quickly, they'll lose you. They also worry if you really like them or if just want to have sex them. I suspected I might have been dealing with some of these reasons so I tried to make her comfortable by telling her that I didn't just want this to be a one night thing. (I'll note that's a LMR tactic, but I really did feel that way. As I've said before, I practice the light side of the game. I don't like to lie and say something like that to help bust LMR if I don't really feel it.) It turns out she's worried about getting too attached. She's afraid things might break off at the wrong time and she'll end up screwing up her grades (and in this case, it would mean screwing up her future job prospects and career. She's not in college anymore, so this is different.)

2j pointed out too that if things are progressing, that I shouldn't be worrying about it anyway. Hearing her reasoning finally put me fully at ease with how things are going. Today, I also thought about Style's time line at the end of "The Game." Sometimes, you can or have to take things slower.

Community Conditioning?:

I feel like I've broken through much of social conditioning when it comes to sarging and relationship. At the same time, I wonder if I've taken on community conditioning. I told 2j that I'm probably just being stupid. I let community thinking say that if I don't hook up by tne end of a Day2 or Day3 or whatever, then I'm a chump.

When 2j and I were talking today, I actually dug into my memory. I thought about my old AFC days. This situation is no where near a chode type situation. Back then, I'd buy multiple dinners for girls, and at times even over a period of months, and get shit. Sometimes I got a kiss and something I didn't get anything at all. Math girl has always wanted to pay for herself at the beginning and things have progressed pretty far so clearly this situation is way different.

What's the alternative?:
2j made a final great point. He said, "What's the alternative?" The answer would be to say, "Peace out" because we haven't had sex and not see her again. That's just dumb. I like this girl and feel a connection to her. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Sex is great and all, but what I have here is more rare than sex. Besides, when you have a real connection with someone, sex is inevitable. I don't need to rush it.

To make the point to myself, I picture pulling a hottie from the Thursday Sound Bar scene. Yeah, I'd love to bang one those girls. If I did, and she had a shit personality, it would be fun, but I would just be left with emptiness at the end. It would help me with entitlement issues, but it wouldn't give me what my interactions with Math girl have given me thus far.

Math girl is a really cool, smart woman, and I'm gonna continue seeing her. I no longer feel the need to rush things on some community schedule. On the other hand, I'm not gonna do what JW did and commit to her at such an early point. If I embraced the dark side of the game, I probably could have sped things along if I had told her what JW told his girl. I could have told her that I was looking for a serious girlfriend and told her I really liked her, etc. I have told her that I like her, but I also told her that I'm still on a journey and I don't want to get married for a long time. I'll continue sarging, but my mind often drifts into thought about Math girl. I suspect sarging is gonna get better as I'll be less outcome oriented and just more relaxed in field.

No comments:

Post a Comment