I'll open this by saying that strangely, I developed slightly higher standards for girls I will go for and I realize now that might be a mistake. I lack experience in late game and it's preventing me from turning sets into actually pulls and sex. Part of me feels anger and frustration when I get into situations where I don't know what the right move is. I'll add that tonight I had to ponder what happened for a long time to figure out what I might have done better. I'm so used to knowing exactly where I screwed up.
At the same time, I realize that I can't beat myself up for failing in late game due to inexperience. Part of the solution is that I need to stop reading the Main RSD forums and concentrate on field reports, especially lay reports. The answer lie in learning what works and fails for others. The big part of the solution is just learning the calibration through experience. This goes back to what I opened with above: I need to try to pull any girls that are willing or seem DTF so I can learn from the experiences.
I wanna dance with her:
I started the night getting free food and drinks. My college friends win these free 2 hour bar parties from trivia. 2j was gonna meet me there but he ended up going to a lair speaker, but fortunately JW came out. JW, 2j, 2j's roommate and I went to check out Enclave. I put out this idea since I knew I didn't need the free drinks from Sound Bar tonight. We will definitely go there again as it was busy when we got there and that was before 11PM. I was wasted and I could tell 2j figured I'd be running my shitty drunken game again. I opened some girls, including this really tall girl but they went nowhere.
I spotted these two chubby blondes and told JW, "I wanna dance with her." The one I liked was a little taller than me (but she had heels on) and even though she was chubby, she had a really cute face. She was dancing crazily and I just went up to her. I don't remember the actualy opener, but I think I did the high five move that I turn into a spin. Immediately, I can tell this was on.
I ended up getting no wing help as none of the guys I were with were interested in the friend. It was okay as the friend didn't cockblock at all. I tried to give her a little attention but then I realized she was just gonna let things happen. Later, this black girl showed up and I text 2j to come wing me. He wasn't attracted to her. I thought she was cute and she had a trim body.
I didn't want to overescalate:
This was one of the dance floor sets that were just totally on. I could tell by the way she grinded on me immediately after I spun her. I used my leg stimulation move. I ran my fingers through her hair at times and I pulled gently, but firmly on her hair, which turned her on. I brushed her hair from her neck and blew into her ear. I kissed her neck and sucked on her neck. I gave her strong eye contact which she held. I kept hovering my face near her face.
When we were dancing, I began to probe how far I could push things by moving my hand near her pussy. I touch her pussy a few times and she didn't resist. I thought back to other sets and decided I didn't want to start fingering her as I was afraid I was gonna overescalate and blow out. I also had no where to pull. I had taken public transportation in so I didn't have my car. I'm pretty sure there's no private bathroom in that club and I actually didn't even know where the bathrooms were.
I should mention that I had moved her away from her friends several times. They were fine with us dancing and being all over each other, but it's a good move regardless. I should always be working to isolate from the friends.
I'm taken:
This perhaps was part of the problem of the entire night. The girl was into me, but she had a boyfriend. It's funny how girls work sometimes. I could suck on her neck, touch her pussy, etc, but she told me she had a boyfriend when I tried kissing her initially. I said, "That's cool, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I just want to have fun." She said, "Good" and then I went back to kissing her neck. About a minute later, I got her turned on and we kissed and made out anyway.
I had number closed her at one point. I remember that one time, when I had her isolated, she said she had to find her friends. She didn't want to leave me as she asked if I would dance with her again. I told her I could just come with her.
Can I come with?
That point leads to another theme of tonight. While I want to beat myself up, I should be happy that I'm gaining confidence. Even though I knew things were on, in the past, I would have been hesitant to go with her to find the friends. Later, I wouldn't have asked if I could go with her to the next bar. It's a good move to just ask girls if you can come along.
The girls planned to go to a bar in Lincoln Park where they knew a bartender. I went with them. I was holding the girls hand most of the time that we left Enclave. This including walking to the train. On the train, she sat next to me. When we got off, we held her hand again.
At the second bar, there wasn't much dancing. The dance floor area was closed off as the bar was slow. My girl wanted to play pool and paid for a game. I was playing but I hate pool and suck at it, so I told the black girl to play for me. The bar ended up closing and the guy they knew wanted to venue change them all to an after hours place.
Let's go have food at your place:
I'm not a total idiot. The guy was taking forever with the venue change. I also knew that going another 2 hours at after hours wasn't the best plan. I had a problem, though, because the two blondes were roommates. They had all mentioned going home while the bartender guy was dragging. I told my girl, "We should go back to your place and grab some food." She said, "You're not coming back to my place."
I think the move was okay, but I also knew at the time that her buying temperature had dropped. It might have been a good move, but I needed to pump her state up. It was hard because we were surrounded by her two girl friends, and the orbiter guy was hovering around too. Since it's cold out too, there weren't that many people standing on the sidewalk either so it's not like I could have had mini isolation behind a pack of people outside.
I told you I had a boyfriend:
I hate to admit that I turned into quiet mode on the walk to the after hours bar. The orbiter guy was cool to me, but he aggravated me a little bit. He was talking shit to random people we walked past. Later, in the bar, two guys tried opened the black girl and the roommate. They got busted out. As they were walking away, the bartender dude was coming back and he laughed at them and said, "Good try (sarcastically)."
Again, he treated me fine, but I could see he was the kind of orbiter that I hate when I open mixed sets. In a way, I felt like he was picking on the weak. The two guys were brave to open and had gotten busted out and he had to dig the knife into them. I know that if I were in a good state, and I had been them, I would have tooled him and made him look stupid.
Other than that, the guy and his friend were cool. I got into quiet mode for some reason. I should add that about three storefronts before we got to the after hours place, my girl dropped my hand. In the bar she said, "I told you I had a boyfriend." I said my line about how, "I just wanted to have fun."
That's a true statement. I was trying to create a fun time for both of us. I wanted to hook up and I think she would have enjoyed it too. I did not want to steal her from her boyfriend. I'd want her to stay with him.
Anyway, she had said that perhaps because I wasn't talking enough and also because she was losing buying temp.
Unbelievable make out theatrics:
I tried talking to her. I used some of my usual stuff to hold a girls attention. Where I screwed up is I tried several times to stroke her arm. I stopped that when I saw she wasn't responding. (I had text 2j that I knew I was losing her and he told me to try to raise her buying temp again the same way I did originally. I couldn't do that as there was no edancing in this bar). The big theatrics came when I tried to isolate her to the basketball machine, "Let's go play that basketball game," I said.
She replied, "Why don't you go play the basketball game with her? (point to the black girl." In retrospect, I should have went and played it with her. Instead, I gave her this incredulous look as I knew she was blowing me off with that line. Then I just sat there. Next, she started whispering to her girlfriends. I knew she was talking about me. Sometimes, I know I'm being paranoid, but I could tell this time. She kept looking at me while whispering, plus she had never whispered to them the entire night.
I should have got up and walk around at this point. I just kept sitting there. Then, she starts whiserping to the orbiter. Suddenly, she gets my attention by tapping me and says, "Watch this!" Then, she initiated a long make out with the orbiter.
I actually laughed. Her two girlfriends were looking at her and the black girl said, "WTF is that?" I said, "She putting on that show just for me." Then she turned to me and said, "That means it's time for you to go."
She figured I was gonna be deflated. I sat there for two minutes. I knew it was just a big fucking show for me. From going out so much, I knew the guy was just an orbiter. I knew she had lost buying temperature and she felt awkward having me there.
I'll sarge this fucking bar:
Tim calls it the "fury." My competitive side really kicks me into gear. I remember how I felt when I saw that bootcamp in April walk in. I suddenly wanted to turn up my game. It's the same way I felt when that lame ass instructor guy tried to steal a tall Spanish girl from me. If I could somehow game the way I do when I feel this way, I'd be unstoppable. What went through my head was something like this, "Did you just seriously orchestrate that BS for me? Yeah, I probably fucked this up at some point and I was too quiet. I know you wanted me and I wanted this to happen. At the same time, do you think I can't get any other girls? I left my wing and hung out with you when I could have met even hotter girls at Enclave."
I went and tried to sarge some other girls but the place didn't have many sets. Every girl I saw was with some guys. Part of me thinks I should have left the group and just started working the room. That would have got me out of that passive state I was in when we walked into the bar. The group I hooked ended up being these 3 siblings. I could tell the one girl was attracted to me, but she ended up being married. The brother was cool. At the end, I found out the third girl was her sister. Perhaps, I should have tried to sarge her more, but they ended up leaving, and at the time, I was just happy to be in another set away from my original girl.
I talked to some guys and as I was about to go back in front by the original girl to get my coat, I saw her walk by. I got her attention and she said, "Oh hey." I grabbed her hand and said, "You know, all the theatrics weren't necessary." She walked in to the bathroom. I went by the guy. He was all drunk. I told him, "Thanks for taking me here. This is a cool place. Oh, and tell her, all the theatrics weren't necessary." I stood by him for about ten seconds. He was so drunk that he dozed off for a second. I tapped him cause I was gonna leave, and he woke up from his daze and dropped his beer.
Free cover and beer:
I can't complain about the orbiter guys other than what I said above. They treated me fine and I even got comps from them. When we got to the place, the bouncer said it was $5 cover. The roommate began to pull out money and the orbiter bartender said, "I got their cover." The girls walked in, and I just walked in as well. I wasn't gonna pay to get in that place. I used to feel bad about taking advantage, but now I don't. A few minutes in, my girl told the bartender orbiter's friend to buy the black girl a beer. He ended up going to the bar and buying a bunch of beers. I gave token resistance to the beer, but as soon as they insisted after that (which I expected), I took the free beer.
The good & the bad: an analysis:
I should be happy that I had a girl hooked this strongly. Yeah, she wasn't hot, but again, I believe in the binary scale. Plus, I really did think she had a cute face and she's blonde with pale skin which I like. I learned from overescalation in the past, and early on, I maintained her buying temperature. I actually had the confidence to push for going with the venue change and to stay with her at Enclave. There have been too many times when I just lost confidence and assumed the girl didn't want me. This time, early on, I assumed it was on and proceeded.
What was bad is that I got quiet during the walk to the after hours bar. If I find myself in this situation again, I know I can just start opening random people at the bar on the way to the bathroom and get myself into a talkative mood again.
My failure to pull often has been caused by failing to lead. I need to talk things over with 2j, but after thinking about this the like two hour train & bus ride, plus 3 mile walk to get home, I have two ideas.
How I could have lead:
If I had been in the right venues, I could have tried a bathroom pull or car pull. To do that, I could have got her into a corner and started to make out with her and finger her and then just tried the pull. I also could have really pumped her state and tried to get her to go to her place. She wanted to stay by the friends. If I had said, "Let's go to your place" she would have objected and said she had to stay with her friends. I would have needed to just blow that objection off. I'm thinking maybe I could have been forward with what I wanted.
I'm thinking, I could have pumped her state and just said, "Let's go to your place." She probably would have brought up the boyfriend. I'm thinking I could have said, "I don't want you to leave him. You guys should be together. I just want to be your boyfriend tonight. No one has to know. Let's go."
If I had to go to the second bar, I think I should have tried to seed the pull there. I would have liked to keep her buying temp up, but it didn't help that the place was slow with no dance floor.
When we were standing around waiting for the bartender orbiter, maybe I could have been aggressive and lead her to a cab. I'm not sure.
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