Friday, September 30, 2011

Tues frustration due to too high expectations

2j called it Tuesday when I was ranting during the car ride home that it sounded like my frustration had been building over the last few sessions. There were some other pressures that probably influenced my frustration, but a big part of it was I made too high expectations for the evening. The venues have been slower, especially on weekends due to summer being over. Joe's on Weed Street is a lot slower, especially early on. It gets busy around midnight, but we usually run through the sets by there since we force ourselves to get there by 9pm for the discounted cover.

The night wasn't horrible. We opened a bunch of sets. The sets didn't really go anywhere. There were one or two sets where we maybe should have plowed a bit longer. We found it ironic that Vinny, the natural, was the one staying in sets and we were ejected.

We actually had a good discussion concerning plowing. I remember the old PUA adage of staying in sets until the girl leaves or tells you to go away. I've been struggling with that concept because I feel like yes, you should plow, especially early on, but many times sets don't feel like they are going anywhere and we'll leave.

On Friday, I saw a post on rsdnation about this very subject which shed some light on I how should calibrate it. What I wrote above is for newbies. Newbies often come with limiting beliefs so forcing themselves to plow teaches that you can plow, it teaches you to become comfortable dealing with social pressure, and it gives you more experience being in set. For more advanced guys, Tyler made a post that said, "When that anime sparkle in her eyes is gone, that's when you should back off."

It turns out that this is what we've been doing. I will admit that sometimes we eject too soon and I will continue to work on not doing that. When a set isn't going anywhere and my calibration is telling me that strongly, I should leave the set.

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