Thursday, August 9, 2012

The most willpower and the most pain

Out of all of my wings and all the people I've sarged with, I can say almost certainly that I have the most willpower in terms of pushing things to the bitter end.  Many guys in my situation wouldn't have gotten the SNL Saturday because they would have quit cause they were having a shitty night.  They also would have to face some of the pain I endure because they don't push as hard.  

I had a Day 2 today with this girl I met two Fridays ago.  I thought the prospects were good.  She responded to my texts immediately every time.  She even got to the Day 2 location a half hour ahead of time.  We were constantly talking but I guess I just couldn't get it to click with her.  Where I went wrong is that she was too stuck on her way of doing things and I was stuck on mine.  She also just wasn't feeling my vibe I suppose.  

Now I really wanted to go home after the Day 2.  I had no wings that were coming out and I was faced with a venue I have never done well in.  I was drunk after the Day 2 and I just decided to keep drinking at the dollar beer place.  

I hit that place up hard from the start.  I was getting busted out early on.  After that it was just a blur.  I got some free food that this 2-set offered me.  I pushed but didn't have any solid sets.  I didn't number close or get anywhere close to pulling.  The one or two girls that showed some bit of interested were pulled away by their friends.  

Even after I started drinking there, I could have still left early and caught the train home.  I decided to stay to the end.  I then moved to Rush and Division.  Normally, I'd just use the text to get into Spy Bar for this Latin promotion.  Spy Bar on Wednesdays I just end up dancing by myself.  It's usually so loud and crowded and there aren't many quality sets.  

I ran into this natural that I met through 2j.  It was like I had a wing then.  We hit up McFaddens and I hooked some sets there but again I couldn't make anything happen.

The pain of high school:
I ended up in this 3 set of Irish girls with some black dude this natural recognized and some other black dude.  I was just hanging around because there was an extra girl and nothing else to do.  My mistake was I didn't select a target and really try to run my game.  I just hung out trying to throw in some comments in the group conversation.  

This might have been an example of how dumb your game can be.  The guys wouldn't push for a close and just choded around but the girls kept hanging around.  Perhaps it's an example of how I over think this as well.  They tried to get some liquor at the CVS that has no liquor and were told the other place doesn't sell after 3am anyway.  We walked with them by Hunt Club.  The leader guy was talking about going to some liquor store on the north side that was near the girls place.

I actually felt like leaving because nothing was happening but I forced myself to stay.  This is when I felt the pain.  The guy decided to try to get them to go north to this liquor store but then he also decided he was gonna be a cock and bust me out.  I'll admit I wasn't at my best, but that's just dumb anyway.  There are 3 girls and 3 guys.  By getting rid of me, there's an extra girl that's gonna prevent a lay. The dude got rid of me and my comeback wasn't good enough.  Besides, I never really hooked any of the girls so I was just hanging around I suppose.  

Still, that shit hurt.  It was like my AFC days all over again.  I've had some good times the last month but I've also been in that high school AFC frame twice.  After all the changes I've made, once again, I'm the guy that's the reject, I'm the guy that the girls don't want.  WTF?

Positive reframe:
I don't want to be negative.  I know that I have to give myself credit.  I pushed things all the way to the end and stayed in this 3-set because there was nothing let to sarge.  I could have quit after the Day 2 or any time sooner then when I finally did quit.  I have the willpower to push to the bitter end and that attitude will give me extra lays in the future that other guys will less will power would miss out on.  

I can't control that the leader guy was lame and strategically played the game badly.  Maybe he banged the girls despite this.  Who knows?  I do know that he might have raised his value in the moment he busted me out, but I don't see how that helps him get any closer to getting laid now that he has to do will an extra girl instead of having me around to occupy one.  

The lesson I learn is I need to just take charge.  I was being cool and just trying to talk to the odd girl out.  Instead, I should have chosen a girl I liked and pushed for it instead of showing respect to these guy's set and trying to just help out.  They fucked me in the end but I was dumb to play like I would wing one of my real wings.   

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