As I was writing Monday's report, I remembered a quick report I was going to make about Sunday night. I forced myself to go out because I didn't want to practice ego protection state control. I've noticed it the last two days: I've had a harder time opening right away like I used to and it's because I've had that SNL. Sometimes you get on fire after success but other times, and maybe even often times, you get ego validation from it and then you get afraid to open. The reason is that you want to remember the great feelings of being a PUA and don't want to have to face the chance of a negative reaction to knock you back into reality. I recognize this and force myself to keep going out and improving. I can remember some Tyler article where the gist was you can either bask in your good feelings and pretend you're a PUA or you can actually go improve and risk bad emotions so you can actually become good and get more girls.
After not opening for awhile Sunday, I just decided to use total garbage openers to pump my state. Let me indulge in some over analysis: this might be a form of ego protection in that you can blame bust outs on the fact that you're not opening for real. You can blame getting busted out on the shitty opener. You can also look at it as just not caring and having fun. I'll say this: I definitely changed my mood and had a lot of fun doing this. Even better, I got to see what I believed already: the opener really doesn't matter at all.
Here are some examples of the really dumb openers I used Sunday:
1) Me: Hi, I'm trying to get out of an ego protection, state control frame.
HB: Huh?
Me: I'm just messing around. What's up, my name is Teddy.
2) Me: (holding a beer at the bar) Hi, I'm Teddy, and I'm an alcoholic.
HB: (Looks at me with a puzzled look. Trying to gauge if I'm serious.)
Me: Yep, there goes ten years of sobriety.
HB: (Facial expression turns into one of shock.)
Me: I'm just kidding.
3) (This turned out to be one of the longer sets we had that nights. Nintendo was in a 2-set and I decided to open this lone wolf who I knew was actually part of some 2-set cause either a guy or girl was coming back to the other drink on the other side of this little table)>
Me: (Nintendo had asked me earlier where the PUA term "set" came from. We couldn't figure it out, although as I'm writing this, I think it has to do with performing comedy.) Hey, I have a question. Where did the term set come from?
HB: Huh?
Me: I have some friends that use that term. See, that's my buddy over there (I point to Nintendo talking to two girls). We have friends that would point out those two girls and say, "Hey, why don't you open that 2-set?" Where did they come up with calling two cute girls a "set?"
HB: I don't know.
4) Me: I'm trying to decide whether I should use the name "NinjaPUA" or "Zippitydragon."
(Before I could get a response, this friend swooped in a pulled the girl away and I didn't stop the friend and try to talk to her.)
5) Me: What's up, I'm Tyler, but you can call me Owen.
HB: Hi, I'm Katie.
Me: Lol. I'm just kidding. My name is Teddy.
It should be obvious that these openers wouldn't work for newbies. I think I decided to do this because of that 2-set on Saturday that wanted to keep talking to us even though we were making a lot of mistakes. These dumb openers work more often than you would think because I'm doing every thing else correctly that I'm supposed to do while opening. Most importantly, I'm giving strong, unwavering eye contact. My body language is good. I'm usually loud enough for them to hear me. I'm relaxed but I'm also smiling (which I usually am) and often I just start giggling after I use these openers. I'm having fun, so by the law of state transference, so is the girl.
I'll also add that I'm also plowing after I use these openers. I don't just stick on the garbage topic I threw out for them in the opener. I either say "I'm just kidding" or I just start talking about something else.
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