Friday, July 27, 2012

Lessons on inner game and ego protection

Tonight, I went out after watching Tyler's set of videos

I really felt like I was going to have a breakthrough in terms of inner game.  I realized that I could run that rat race making excuses of why I'm not good enough or I could end that now and believe that I am enough. 

I went out Wednesday and I didn't really have any memorable sets.  I had fun doing dumb shit when I was drunk like opening by holding my beer and saying, "Chode's night out."  It shows that you can open with anything as that was opening sets.   I ended the night with this last set on the street and I let some chode bust me out because I was in a bad frame and was a little tipsy.  It made me not want to have any beers Thursday night. 

Thursday, I watched Dark Knight Returns.  I found myself thinking about the shooting and even watching as people walked in during the movie.  I know I was being paranoid as that theater is right next to the Elk Grove Village Police Station so it's one of the last places someone would hit.  I noticed a cop walk in halfway through the movie so the fear is out there.   The movie was good and I'll probably see it again on the IMAX.  I read that there is 78 minutes of IMAX footage.  Had I known that, I would have seen it in IMAX, though I used reward points I didn't even know that i had to see the movie anyway, so it's not a waste.

We went out late so the Lion Head/The Apartment was in full swing by the time we got in.  I got a little lost in the environment for a few minutes as I'm used to being warmed up by this time.  I hit up some sets and I sensed these average looking English girls were high buying temperature.  I kept trying to get Nintendo to agree to hit up the set again on the dance floor.  He wouldn't do it and I didn't feel confident enough to do it.  Later, I saw a dude making out with one of them so I was right they were high buying temperature and no guys approached them for like 30 minutes after we first approached.

The set of the night was this 2-set as we were walking to the car.  One was this tall brunette with glasses who we both agreed was hot.  The friend was this short girl with short hair, which I don't find attractive but she was decent. 

Nintendo admits he was choding out for most of the night.  He banged the Slovenian girl last night and hooked up with his regular girl tonight so he was both lazy and practicing ego protection.  He admitted as much later and vowed to work on it.  I was making an effort, but I wasn't believing fully as I planned on doing and I vow to do better.

Football analogy:
I kept using a football analogy.  We were down a touchdown and we were making some safe plays and set to lose this game.  At the end, we got a gift.  It was the equivalent to a defender falling down.  I threw up the hail mary pass to the end zone to Nintendo and he dropped it. 

It's almost unbelieveable.  The two girls were drunk and the hot one dropped her phone and Nintendo helped her.  Then she wanted to talk to him and he kept wanting to walk away.  For example, she asked his name, and he said, "Don't worry about it" and kept walking.  The hard to get was working ,but that's not why he was doing it.  I said to the girls, "Hey, we're going to Big City Tap." 

The tall girl replied, "Yeah, so are we."  

The huge IOI I noticed was that the short one said in a puzzled voice, "We are?  Okay." 

It was obvious that the tall girl wanted to come with because she was attracted to Nintendo.  They crossed the street with us and we stopped and talked near where it turns out their car was parked.  She dropped a piece of her phone again and Nintendo helped her and got some incidental kino by putting the phone in her pocket. 

The short one said, "This is my car."  Nintendo said, "Can you guys even drive?"  The tall girl replied, "Can you even talk?"

I talked to the short one and then Nintendo said, "Let's go."  

He must have said that about 7-8 times since we originally interacted with them.  I must have said, "Big City Tap" like 5 times.  I finally gave up when Nintendo started walking away.  I said that I should have said, "You go, I'm staying and going to Big City" and that might have snapped him to reality.

Ego protection:
That's what his problem was and it was an almost unbelievable display of this.  He realized that his ego wanted to take that little bit of positive reaction rather than following through with the set and risking getting rejected.  He also said that he must have had entitlement issues as this girl was one of the top 2 hottest girls we saw all night. 

I realized too that I was holding myself back tonight because of ego protection as well.  It was that subtle way that I sometimes don't give a full effort.  Sure, I'm opening and trying but part of me is holding back as a way to feel good about myself when getting rejected.  I often have to fight this tendency.  Of course, when I make a 100% effort, the results are better, but it still is sometimes hard to put myself on the line. 

Nintendo felt real pain when he realized how he forced us to leave this set because of inner game issues and I said that pain should force him to do better next time.  He also realized he was just wasting time making himself go out while tired on days like tonight and not giving a full effort.  He realized it was no longer enough to just give himself credit for making it out, but he needs to give a 100% effort when he goes out now as well. 

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