I honestly felt fine as I was driving home. My ego didn't feel devalidated as I saw MMA pull at the very end of the night. He opened this black girl who turned out to be on vacation from Minnesota. He even gave me a ride to my car as part of his pull. I'll give him credit for wanting to drive me. I remember I said I'd just walk as it was only a few blocks but the girl strangely felt more comfortable with me being in the car for a few blocks that having me just wander off. This was as I had left the bar with that 2-set girl telling me not to touch her and Seagull seeming to be in a good set that I got busted out of.
Seagull claims I could have hooked up with that one girl but I honestly think my posts last night and my self talk has gotten me to the right place. Just last night, I might have beat myself up for missing out on this possible lay opportunity. I think tonight is evidence that I may have finally got myself into the right head space: sex is not a holy grail.
Sex is not something that's so far away that it seems impossible. That was true when I first started sarging, yet I somehow kept a positive attitude and was able to make massive changes in myself over the years with only blind faith pushing me forward. I think I recognize what I was writing about before: that unlike when I first started, I've actually had sex a bunch of times from girls I met through cold approach pickup. As I wrote last night, the two serious girlfriends I had were only possible because I learned this stuff.
I think the good responses I got tonight have convinced me that if I keep going out, I'm going to wind up having sex with an attractive woman. There's a decent chance that I'll even get a snowball effect out of that and I'll get multiple closes in a short period of time thereafter. Tonight, the attraction was there and the close opportunities were there. I just failed from a little bad luck and some bad tactics that I'm trying to figure out how to correct next time.
I also felt that for a lot of sets early on, I really did have it in my head that I have value and that I should expect that the girls are going to like me. I think what helped with this is just thinking about my positive attributes as I was driving to the club.
I watched this Jlaix video last night that recommended to a guy that he should put himself in some more situations where he's the center of attention and that will help his game. That clip helped me realized that I'm not giving myself enough credit. How the hell do I even let myself feel uncomfortable talking to a set of girls?
I don't need Jlaix's advice because I've been in so many of those situations from doing all the eating contests. I've been the center of attention of several fairly large crowds are various festivals over the years. I've been in contests where I pushed myself to the absolute limit and came out victorious. I've done the post contest interviews for media or in front of the crowd as I'm in that haze of victory and overeating.
RSD Derek talks about how I'm supposed to know the value I bring and again, I've been focusing too much on my deficiencies and not enough on all the good qualities that I have. He talks about how I'm supposed to be able to find reasons why she should chose me over all the other guys at the club. There are other guys that are of course objectively better, but I do myself a disservice selling myself so short in recent times.
I really don't feel comfortable talking about myself but I guess I need to write this down in this ego based way to just further ingrain the idea into my head. I'll even write it in the crude way that I know is going to make me giggle when I think about it:
If I ever have to ask myself why I'm deserving, I should remember that there aren't many guys in that bar, and often there aren't any of have felt that thrill of victory that I have in some of these eating contests. There are the easy contests where a few seconds in, I can see the look of utter defeat in my opponents. There are the more difficult ones where I've gone up against solid competitors, and even competitors that normally would beat me, yet I somehow came out victorious. I found that inner motivation to just push that extra little bit to get the victory.
That same inner drive was there last year when I did that crazy two month hour poker promotion. I played 18 hour sessions because I just wanted to prove to myself that I could drive myself so hard.
When I doubt myself, I need only think about those two things I just wrote about and that's not to mention the other good qualities I have that I didn't even write down here because I do feel uncomfortable listing my good qualities in a place that is accessible to the public. I really do believe in being modest, and I've proven that when I've done post contest interviews.
Derek and Jeffy have a good point that I need to remember about how they view pickup as marketing and not sales. The idea is that you aren't trying to sell a girl on yourself, you're supposed to just be putting out your brand out there and it's on her to recognize the value of what you're putting out there. They talk about how you shouldn't take rejection personally because whatever brand you're offering, if you do it right, isn't going to appeal to everyone.
I believe the analogy they use is that if you're brand is say Mercedes, you wouldn't get mad that someone doesn't want your brand. It has intrinsic value and Mercedes wouldn't worry if someone that wanted a Toyota Yaris doesn't want the Mercedes that you're offering.
I'll just close by writing that I think I can continue with this right attitude if I just remember the sex isn't some abstract thing that's never going to happen for me. It's happened in the past from pickup and if I keep doing what I'm doing and constantly work on improving, then it's inevitably going to happen again. Besides that, it's not some magical thing that's going to fix everything in my life. It'll be great and I'll feel more confident but there is no end game. If I just got laid, the next night, I'd still have to go out and start the night out just like I will tonight. Pickup is a lifestyle that I just have to stick with and I can have the life I always wanted. I also have to stick with work and exercise as those are important as well and there's no "solving" that part of my life either.
No comments:
Post a Comment