I can't believe I'm finally writing again. I basically took like 6 months off going out twice and really having shitty game and a poor outlook. Somehow, I took initiative to go out with Seagull just at the end of May and several days of going out consecutively brought my game back to a somewhat acceptable level.
Crazy AC stories:
There actually are some more interesting things to post about that I just didn't have the time to write about. Like last week, I stopped this Russian girl walking the opposite way in the hotel. With her barely understanding English, I got her to have pizza with me. With a little help from google translate, and Seagull distracting the friend, I made out with her in my room but she didn't want to have sex with me. Still was an interesting experience that warrants it's own post. The following night, I pushed hooker game farther that I probably thought possible. After pondering it overnight, I realized I could have gotten a little farther than I did. Basically, without paying, these two girls were letting me touch their tits and they both stroked my cock for like 5 seconds each. My friends that are willing to pay probably think I'm crazy for turning down the deal they were offering. They started at $300 each girl and by the time I was kicking them out, they were willing to go $100 for one girl, and I might have been able to talk that down even more. I just knew I wouldn't feel good about myself afterward so I passed.
Starting again:
Seagull and I had basically gamed for 3 weeks straight. It was a little rough going out with one of my new wings I met through Seagull: I'll call him MMA. He's fun to go out with and supportive. I think my issue is that I found it hard to transition after having Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off. Wednesday was basically off as well. We went out and had less than three sets and I probably gave up too easily with this 2-set that had a friend that wasn't very responsive. In retrospect, that she didn't seen to be enjoying the bar probably meant she had some other interests: intellectual, sports, museums, or whatever and I should have tried that angle.
I just felt tired and in a shit mood all day. I waited in the bar for MMA drinking a $3 pitcher. I probably should have just started walking around and opening like I used to do back in the day. I used to force myself to open solo before meeting up with wings so I'd be warmed up.
Quitting too soon:
If I were to describe my sticking points, I'd probably say that I give up too easily sometimes. What happens is the girls aren't really busting me out, but it's not really on either. I'm supposed to keep talking as I can lead it somewhere but I often have just been giving up. I'd also say that I still have problems with kino escalation though I show moments of brilliance. Finally, at twilight, quick pull time, I was doing things totally wrong. Seagull has gotten really good at this which was messing with my ego for awhile. The good news is that it's forced me to work on that aspect of my game. I realized that I was trying to work those sets in the exact way that Julien describes as the wrong way: I was doing debate game with the girl, trying to convince her to go to the taco place or after hours instead of just leading.
Get back in there:
I think the epitome of my big problem was this tall girl set. There were three really tall girls (one girl told MMA that she was 6'3") and one guy. They were dancing up in this one area and I went up and starting dancing by them and sort of with this tall blonde. I quickly gave up and this guy that was watching said, "What are you doing? Go back, she likes you."
I went back and ultimately screwed up, but that just sticks with me. I know I do that a lot. I keep thinking about my failures but there are a bunch of times that I'm not even giving myself a chance. As I'm typing, I can think of two other sets that responded positively and I just gave up. One was this 3-set that even engaged MMA and I again after we just stood there not talking. Another was this redhead whose friends wanted to move to a different part of the bar. When this usually happens, the girl either just walks away or gives the soft, usual blowout of "it was nice meeting you." This one said, "My friend wants to go somewhere else. I'm just following her." I told MMA at the time that the way she said it made me feel like she wanted me to follow but couldn't leave her friends. I knew that the move was to follow, and the girl MMA was talking to seemed to like him. I missed a chance to lead. I mentioned this, and when MMA didn't agree to follow, I just gave up.
Bigger problem of not believing in myself:
On the drive home, I realized that I needed to write about tonight because maybe this is the way that I can get past this sticking point. Why am I leaving early? I'm sure part of it is the old ego protection problem. I'd rather take a small success and have my ego feel slightly validated then actually continue and possibly get laid.
I think the big part is I'm forgetting RSD Derek's little line of wisdom. Basically, he says that if I can't figure out why the girl should be with me, (I think he even goes as far as saying, if I can't figure out why she should be with me over all the other guys in the club), then how the hell should she know?
Yeah, as I type that and I remember as I was driving back, I recognize this is exactly my problem. Sure, I had a few good moments that I didn't even type about. For example, this tall, hot girl that I opened on the street seemed to like me and wanted to hang out with me, but the friend massively cockblocked and MMA couldn't even faze her.
Those moments of confidence were there (again, there was also the dance floor bit), but I have to admit they were fleeting. Most of the time, I would just go in and thinking back, I know that I wasn't going in really believe that it was going to work. I didn't go in, thinking about my good qualities and thinking "Yeah, of course this girl would want to meet me, talk to me, and ultimately hook up with me."
No. I think I did the exact opposite. I would look for the slightly sign to confirm that my game sucks and that I suck.
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