Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Sat: Cockblocked from my best set
I just write about Saturday for completeness. Asian Cousin and I remember it as a day of too much inaction. Sure, we both opened a decent amount, but we stood around doing nothing for far too much of the night. Also, we got state crashed in this tough late night venue, but we should take pride in that we were able to push through that. I even got in this good state by going off on the dance floor area and just trying to stop girls who happened to walk by. Still, I could feel myself holding back and I hate that feeling. I prefer the nights where I'm able to push myself most of the night. At first review, I blamed this slow night on it being a day off of working out, but NYE I worked out, and still didn't take as much action as I should have.
My best set was this short brunette I opened about midway through the night. She was into me, and then she started to get texts from her friend who was looking for her. I lead her to the bar area and helped her find the friend. I figured I could disarm the friend or my wing could occupy her. Well, the friend came in and just swooped her away.
Now, in the opening paragraph, I made it sound like it was one of my less confident nights. That's what it turned into at the late night venue. As I'm writing it, I think the state break of waiting 30 minutes in the cold to get in there helped dampen my enthusiasm by that point. When this set happened, I was still feeling good.
This meant that I went in two other times to try to get my girl. I should always feel confident in myself, but what helped this time, is that she had given massive IOI's showing she was into me. Well, I opened the two girls at the bar, and again, the friend just blew me off and dragged her away.
I saw them later at a table with 4 other girls. I didn't want to go back in, but I made myself do it. I have lost far too many good opportunities when I haven't made myself approach girls again that I knew were into me. Often, I just don't feel confident to do it again, and also I think it's my ego just wanting to preserve the good feelings of the prior interaction, and not wanting to risk that despite the fact that I might actually get further, heck even pull, if I try again.
This time, I just ignored the girl and started saying some funny stuff to my target. She was giggling. The funny part about this whole thing is that I really was adding value to her night. When I had observed the table, my girl look bored sitting there the entire time, and her evening only improved when I came up. Well, that cockblock friend busted thing up. I tried to engage her but she then started telling me obnoxiously to leave.
I was pissed off at that point because I knew I was improving the girls night and this girl wasn't even giving me a chance. I felt like I should have told her off. 2j said that could have worked if that was how I was really feeling. It just seemed like it was a time for me a to be alpha there. I can see how alpha guys could have shut down her BS by doing that.
I didn't do it at the time because I didn't want to risk a big scene there which this girl seemed likely to wantto create. I'll give myself credit for going back into this set several times, and for trying to stick it out a bit with the cockblock.
Another reason I wanted to tell her off is that 2j is right that I'm sometimes too nice. I want to be the fun guy all the time and sometimes do get serious and call people out on their BS.
The next day, I realized another solution that could have kept the fun guy vibe and possible disarmed the girl. When she was bitching at me, I could have started making baby noises and faces, or started moving my hand like a mouth, and making Charlie Brown teacher jibberish noises. It might have been so ridiculous that the girl might have been forced to stop being in a bitchy mode.
Oh, and I'll close by saying that I get what the deal was here. This cockblock saw her friend was a little drunk, and girls try to protect each other from doing dumb stuff like going home with guys. Still, I can usually engage friends, but this girl wasn't having any of it. It's just frustrating when it's so clear I was improving my target's night as it so contrasted the boring time she was having at that table without me.