Sunday, August 25, 2013

Fri: Extreme positive state control and You don't know who the fuck you're dealign with (Tooling a bouncer)

The order of the posts are messed up in that I wrote about Saturday first and now I'm writing about Friday.  I could have just changed the times but I like to put the posts up as I write them rather than how the events occurred chronologically.

Staying Positive:
I thought Friday was going to be total shit.  I was slow in getting ready and got to Wrigley late.  It turns out I got there exactly when 2j arrived and Seagull ended up running even later than he had predicted.  I was in a great state and was expecting good things to happen.  As we approached Sheffield's, which is usually where I stop to take a piss and do a few warm up sets, I opened my wallet and realized I didn't have my ID.  When I go jogging, I take my ID and a credit card in a plastic bag.  Usually, I keep my wallet in the same place I always leave the bag so I'll see them there and check my ID.  Usually, I double check that I have my ID when I'm pulling out of my parking lot.  This evening, I somehow drove all the way without my ID.

I verbalized my problem and tried to figure out what I should do.  I could drive back, or 2j pointed out I could just run street sets all night.  There would be plenty of street sets, but I didn't like that idea at the time.  I had to pee and didn't want to have to do in the alley, and I just didn't see how I could go anywhere that early with a set that didn't involve me having to show an ID to get into a venue.  I decided to drive back home because I figured I could still get back with time to sarge.

I was angry, but I kept myself in a decent mood.  The drive cost me about an hour of time.  On the drive home, I promised myself I wouldn't just use it as an excuse to stay home.  As the drive took longer than I expected, I actually text 2j that I wished I had just stayed and done street sets.

This is where I really do need to give myself credit.  I didn't just use this setback as an excuse to waste a night and I didn't ruin my night either by getting in a shitty mood.

I won't be ignored:
When I got back, I did a speed walk to where 2j was waiting.  2j ended up being able to meet up with the dance game Natural I met up in July.  I verbally thanked the Natural for getting me out of my dance floor cocoon. 

The speed walk got me pumped up, but I knew I had to get things started fast.  I saw this seated bachelorette set.  They looked like they were in a serious mood, but I decided to open.  Part of me wanted to hesitate, but as I kept saying to people that evening, I knew I had to "condense four hours of fun into one hour" so I sure couldn't waste time not opening.

I opened the girl by saying, "What's with the sour face?" and then I threw in that 4 hours of fun bit.  She didn't really respond.  This big black guy who I recognized as being a bouncer there cut in the space I had left between me and the girl.  The girl said, "Thank you" to the guy.

Seriously?  That pissed me off a bit, on both counts.  First, the girl gave me a 10 second audition and was giving me that response.  Of course, we all get busted out all the time, but her response was the low percentages of responses I get.  The way she reacted, I usually would have plowed for about 20 seconds more and then just left if I didn't hook.  She pissed me off in that she felt the need to verbally thank the guy as if I had been sitting there creeping her out for like 5 minutes or something.  I literally had been in the set for 10-15 seconds max.  Girls should know that they'll get approached in bars, and I'm not being cocky by saying that I'm one of the better approaches she'd see that evening.  Sure, I might not have been warmed up, but I know most guy says really dumb shit and come in with bad body language and really lame or creepy stuff.

Now, fuck that bouncer too.  You need to come do white knight rescue bullshit because you see me open a girl for 10 seconds and you see me not get a good response?

You don't know who the fuck you're dealing with:
I feel a bit cocky writing that, but that's also what thought crossed my mind at the time, and it helped me get into state.  I could see myself just walking away from that set on many nights, but I was in rare for that evening. 

What I write isn't some blind faith, self delusional bullshit.  I know from the countless sets I've opened what the responses to my presence fall within the norm.  This bouncer guy was using me to try to pump his status with the set and not because I was being creepy and the set needed to be rescue. 

Fuck you!  This is when my AMOG side comes out to just prove a point.  I'll admit I overcompensate with this sometimes.  Guys don't get to use me to pump up their status.  You have to do your own work and I'm not just going to be a guy you can walk over at this point in my life.

"You might be twice my size, but you don't have to ignore me."
 You can title this section also with what Jeffy says in "Transformations," "It's amazing what you can get away with."

The bouncer cut in and the girl said thank you.  I just stood there.  He introduced himself to the girl that thanked him and to the two other girls at the table.  (Oh, I forgot to mention that just as we were standing there, some drunk idiot started touching this inflatable animal prop they had their in a weird way but then walked away.  That just proves how other guys do even dumber shit and how the bouncer just used me as an in to this set).  After he introduced himself to the girls, I said, "Hey man, what's your name?"

The bouncer had some moves as he just ignored me.  Yes, that's what he should do in that situation.  Now go back to the heading of the previous section.  I'm still not gonna give up.  I know that you should ignore me, therefore such behavior does not result in the desired effect.  First, I'm supposed to show some physical signs of losing state being I'm being ignored, but I don't, again because I understand how this social dynamic works, and because I don't care what you, Mr. Bouncer, or these dumb girls think of me.  More importantly, I'm not going to just walk away or just stand there silent as you take over the show, which is what ignoring me is mainly supposed to accomplish.

With a smile on my face, I just started doing the bear hug slap on the back that I learned from Jeffy's video.  I then said, "Hey, you might be twice my size, but you don't have to ignore me."  I'm actually giggling as I type that out again, because the more I think about it, the line actually makes no sense.  The reason it works is that while I sound all pissed at times when I'm writing this post, what I was feeling at the time, I'd describe as determination.  It's like this beast gets unleashed within me, and my AMOG dominant side that I probably should bring out more often comes out.  I'm smiling and joking around as I'm doing this so, as Tyler has explained in his old AMOG theory posts, the guy can't get pissed at me or he looks stupid.

I think his initial response was to turn to acknowledge me.  Then he smiled and said, "Hey, come over here for a second."  We walked a few feet away to the bar. 
Bouncer: Hey, those girls told me do that.
Me: Lol.  Yeah, nice one.  No, they didn't.  I see what you're doing.  Good job. 

I then walked away.

What's the point?
I know that's what some guys would think.  I don't get the girl so why bother?  Well, I could have just walked away, but the problem is that it would have bothered me.  For me, this isn't about getting the girl, although knowing how to do this can help in certain situations where a guy is trying to bust into your set or steal you girl.  You actually can use it to bust out lame guys from sets, though I haven't tried to do that in awhile (I should start doing that again, especially at closing time on the streets when you can tell it's an obvious pickup attempt). 

I do this because I don't allow guys to use me to build their social status or to build state.  I allowed that far too long in my life, but fortunately I discovered pickup and learned how to deal with it and learned to be comfortable with myself.  I could just ignore it and that's one way to handle it.  In this case, ignoring it is fine because I don't even want that particular set, and the girl wasn't even responding to me.  If you ignore it every time, though, you won't now how to get rid of an AMOG when you're actually with a girl that's into you. 

I also do this because I build state off of it.  It's fun.

I like that some guy thinks I'm an easy target and then I come back with a barrage of stuff of AMOG Tyler tactics that he has no clue how to deal with.  This is especially true for this bouncer I'm sure.  He so used to guys being intimidated by his size that my response was the last thing he was expecting. 

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