Thursday, April 7, 2011

Wed FR: Connection and lessons

Wednesday was a good day for me overall.  Sidegames' mom took me and Sidegames out to eat at Gibson's.  I love that place and the steak was excellent.  Initially, I felt uncomfortable accepting such a pricey meal for free, but Sidegames told me she can more than afford it which is way obvious, so I gratuitously accepted.   After that I went to get a haircut.  I had a coupon and I wanted to have a haircut for this wedding reception on Saturday.  I was in a talkative mood so I talked to the hairdresser.  I told him I was going out and he ended up telling me about this free open bar at this Antipasto bar in Addison.  I almost didn't believe him, but it was true.  Well drinks are free from 9-10PM on Wednesdays.  I had driving by that place countless times but never stopped in as I always figured it was full of Italian dudes that know each other and nothing else.  The deal was indeed true.  I only had one drink cause there were no sets and I wanted to get to my main bar afterwards.  I think the place would be cool to hang out with friends or to bring a date, but it was terrible for sarging.

Deep connection:
I had one of those amazingly deep conversations tonight.  It was completely unexpected and I should be grateful for when this happens even if it doesn't fit my goal of getting laid.  I got to the bar really early as it's an after hours place.  Unlike last week, I opened immediately.  I opened this 3-set that was seated near the dance floor.  I had a decent conversation but the girl I wanted was very quiet.  I was gonna try to push things along but  I wanted to get a beer so I excused myself.  I ordered my drink, and then decided to work the room.  When a place is empty, I like to be the social guy and meet most of the people there.  I talked to this set of two guys both named "Mike."  I actually remembered their names cause how could you forget two Mikes.  I then opened this 2-set.  I found out they were sisters.  The one girl was very attractive.  The other girl wasn't.  Of course, I wanted the hot one, but some guy she knew was there with them.  I suppose I could have try to eclipse the dude, but I started talking to the sister instead.  I figured it was warm up.

We really hit it off and I started to have a deep conversation that almost rivaled the one I had with this girl Kaisie last year.  The girl was really into me and kept touching me and looking into my eyes.  I had tried to number close her about getting pizza earlier but she balked at tried to facebook close me.  The connection was obvious, but then she dropped the bomb on me.  She told me she had been married since she was like 16.  There was no ring so I couldn't have known.  She said we could keep talking as friends and I actually want to keep in touch: it's rare that I meet someone with whom I can have such a deep spiritual conversation.  
I guess I should sarge:
We exchanged phone numbers cause they all had to leave.  We had such a connection that it was a huge state break when she left.  If she were single, we probably would have been making out.  I stood there for a second after she left and then I knew I had to keep opening even though it was unlikely I'd have such an intense experience again this same night.

Logistically, the set was there:
I keep thinking about this cute 2-set that I opened by the dance floor.  I had a decent conversation going.  At one point, the brunette gave the blonde money to buy drinks.  I said, "Wow, you're generous.  Drink on you tonight?"   She then told me that her roommate (the blonde) had lost her job and she was taking her out as the blonde doesn't go out much now.  It's obvious the blonde wants to hook up with someone.   I even got isolation but I didn't really get any sparks flying between us.  I suppose my dance game was lacking.  I had a chance while isolated to dance with her.  I danced by her, but didn't make it more intimate.   The friend came back and hung out.  I was dancing by them but then they left and I just dance by myself.

Later, I saw the blonde on the dance floor.  Now depending on what the story was, I was either working at a disadvantage or just a complete idiot.  She was dancing and some guy was dancing near her.  She wasn't really grinding with him.  I had a chance to dance by her and then pull her in.  I thought about dancing close to her and then spinning her so she wound up next to me.  I sort of danced by her and then the guy started to get closer.  She ended up leaving after that song.  I tried to grab her but it didn't work.

Now the brunette had told me some guy friend was meeting them there.  Now this dude with the blonde could have been that guy's friend, or just some orbiter.  I could have sealed things with dance floor game twice.  Now that I'm writing this, I guess I could have just approached again.  The one time I saw her off the dance floor, she was standing in between two dudes and I didn't have the state at the time to go in and pull her from them or even open her.  

Mistake-weak claw:
I noticed that today I was more hesitant to really sink in the claw and leave it on the girl.  I still used kino a decent amount but I really planned on working the kino in Ozzie's book this week.  I think my problem was initially, I didn't want to whip out the fast kino when there were only two 2-set at the bar.  The fast kino builds attraction fast but can also lead to some massive bust outs.  I'm fine with that, but I didn't want to do that when there were only two sets there at the start.  I suppose it doesn't matter.  I could bust out big and then just wait till the place filled up.  I'm gonna work on this again Thursday though.  I really want to be totally dominant with the kino like Ozzie describes.

Success: Stopping a moving set, leading, hand holding:
 I had this flash of brilliance.  Moments like this are evidence of how far my game has come in the past two weeks.   Moving sets are notoriously hard to open.  It's hard to get the girl to notice you when she's just walking by.  Using Tim's claw/net opener, showing intent, and my vastly improved inner game has made a huge difference in moving sets for me.  Lately, my success rate with moving sets seems to be equivalent to my success rate of just opening normally.  More often that not, the girl will stop and listen to me and she often stays as well.  Then it becomes similar to a situation where I had come up and opened. 

I was standing near the edge of the dance floor.  I saw this attractive blonde coming my way.  She was actually more attractive than that blone in the 2-set I described above.  I grabbed her arm and pulled her into me using the Tim claw/net method and did the Intent-intro opener.  The move and opener is so money because it shows masculine dominance and it turns her on a primal level.  My body language, eye contact, and vibe match so that's probably why it's working.  We start talking.  She mentions she was on her way to the bathroom but keeps talking.  It's a little loud, so I decide to move her.  Sometimes I wonder about what reasons to give for a move.  Ozzie says it's simple, you just give BS reasons like, "Come her, I want to show you something," "Come with me to the bar," Or "Let's go dance."  I know that logically you don't need a real reason, but sometimes I still have let it hold me back.  This experience is reference experience for how easy the isolation move can be.  I said, "Let's go to the bar."  I grabbed her hand, and let her to a quieter spot about twenty feet away.

I love when I lead a girl around the club by hand.  It feels so money.   In order for me to start pulling, I need to consistently be moving girls around the bar.  Ideally you make a ton of moves around the club.  The explanation from the community is two fold.  First, she gets used to following your lead and seeing that nothing weird happens when she does so and in fact, fun happens.  When you lead her for food extraction or try to pull her home, she'll be used to that positive pattern of following your lead.  The other reason is the old Mystery reason that says that a girl feels closer to you when she has memories of you in different places (the different areas of the club and/or different venues).  

It surprised me she just took my hand and followed me.  I know I'll feel more confident doing this move now that I have recent positive reference experience with it.  We talked some more, but she really did have to go to the bathroom.  I told her I'd be on the dance floor.

I was gonna approach her again but...
 I was hoping to see her again as things were going well between us.  I wonder if I should have actively looked for her as I didn't see her for about an hour.  I finally spotted her, and it was similar to the 2-set above.  I swear it was something like my girl, another girl, and three guys.  There might have only been two guys which I guess is worse in some ways.  I suppose I was chicken again.  When I'm in state, I'd open her again as deep down, I know I can deal with the guys and eclipse them as I've done it before.  They might have been orbiters or some random guys sarging her.  Actually, as I think back on it, it was dumb not to approach.  Sure, I might need to really need to be in state to pull her off them depending on the situation, but I remember she was just standing near them.  It's not like one guy had his arm around her.  I needed to go in and pull her from those dudes and I probably could have unless it was her boyfriend.

They are advanced moves:
I imagine I'm being hard on myself.  As I've said in the several entries about Wednesday, I have shown some brilliance and made some breakthroughs.  It isn't exactly an easy move to open the 2-set and this girl in the situations they were in, but I'm at the level where I should go in for sure.  I'm actually at level where I have a decent chance of getting the girl even if it's a shitty situation.  I think back to a set I had last year where I pulled a girl off some guy she was grinding with on the dance floor.  That was fucking awesome, btw.  I'm obviously the same guy and in many ways, I'm in improved version of myself.

If I want 3somes, hot girls etc..

then I have to push my comfort levels even further.  I need to get through these easy problems so I can be faced with more advanced problems.  Again, on the one hand, I'm making good progress, but I want to hammer this into my head.  I can advance even faster the more I do the right thing and push myself.  I go back into these sets as I put the hard work into them already.  I extract the girls from Tuesday to the restaurant.  I vow to keep trying to do better.  

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