Sunday, April 3, 2011

Gibberish escalation can work and pushing hard can mean harsh blowouts

Tonight was disappointing in that I had hoped to get a kiss close or better, but I know that's not a realistic goal.   The goal each time is to try to push my comfort zone while tackling specific sticking points and to have fun.  I also set the goal of opening those sets that I would have feared opening in the past. The one disappointing thing is that we wandered around the upstairs of Barleycorn for like a 40 minute period where we weren't doing anything but just standing around and value scanning the room.  That was super lame.  Seagull and I tried to figured out what caused that.  I guess it was just too crowded and we let prior failures in that room affect us.  We had opened a few sets there that either didn't go anywhere or got interrupted by other BS like friends, people bumping into us or the girls, etc. 

Other than the, the night went well.  I opened just about every girls that I found really attractive.  The one exception was this tall blonde at Barleycorn when we were in a our bad state.  I opened several girls that towered over me.  I love tall women and I used to be too scared to open them.  Lately, I've just been telling myself to open them even though I'll probably get busted out.  The next step will be for me to open them and start believing that I can get them.  I should use that tall brunette from Friday as reference material demonstrating that tall girls can like me.  I opened a tall brunette at Moe's that actually went well except it stalled for a second and I basically gave up instead of plowing.

I felt like I pushed interactions more than I normally would have. There are two examples where I think I could have done better.

Let's go to Moe's:
About 3/4's of the way through the night, we were in the back area of Sluggers.  Seagull opened this 2-set and I just danced by myself while I waited for him to hook it.  I came in the set, and I remember that the set said early on and then one time later, that they were planning on going to Moe's Cantina.  We had already been there and I had forgotten until our debriefing later that the girls had mentioned this.  This was the first set that I really felt things were on this night.  It seemed like a long time as so much happened before this set.  Suddenly, Seagull's girl started gathering her things and then mine chugged her drink and they left.  I guess I should have number closed this girl as I felt we had a connection.  I think I should be number closing a bit more as I've not be going for that at all.  I've gone for numbers in sets that seemed really well.  Other times, I feel like I'd likely get the number, but it seems like waste of time.  I'm more interested in trying to build my skill set for SNL's, but I should be number closing a few more girls so I have some prospects.

Besides number closing, Seagull and I agreed later that we should have tried to go with them to Moe's.  Initially, I was surprised the set was leaving, but Seagull reminded me that the girls had been saying the whole time that they wanted to go to Moe's.  When we had them hooked, we should have said, "Finish your drinks and let's go to Moe's."  I bet they would have gone with us.

Gibberish escalation:
I wanted to say this was earlier in the night, but it had to have been after the last set.  I remember the set above as being the first good set of the night.  I guess we returned to Moe's.  I remember I opened this petite brunette who was probably 5'3".  I remember using the Intent Intro opener.  I had a hard time hearing her though.  I've lost hearing from being at too many clubs with no earplugs.  Working against me in this case was the girl was speaking too softly and she was short.  Most girls are close enough to my height that it's easy for them to put their mouth by my ear, or they talk loud enough.  This girl might have been even shorter cause I remember she had to stretch a little to talk into my ear.

The funny thing is that I just kept plowing with basically nonsense and she kept staying.  I think she said something about a boyfriend or going back to her friends early on.  I asked, "Is your boyfriend here?"  She said, "No."  Then I think I used RSD Tim's, "It's just you and me tonight."  I think I also said Tim's, "You're my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes." 

I really don't remember how the conversation went.  I remember that was beginning to  turn away from me 3-4 times and I reeled her back in until I finally lost her at the end.  The key thing was that it wasn't like she was facing away from me while this was happening.  I felt like thing were on.  There was a lot of sexual tension between us.  I remember starting to get a hard-on too, which rarely happens to me in field unless I'm grinding with some girl or we're making out.  She was completely facing me.  I remember we were looking into each others eyes and smiling.  I'm sure I had my arm around her too at times.  Seagull said he remembered seeing me with this girl and he commented that we looked really into each other. 

I don't remember how I eventually lost her.  Part of me thinks I needed to kiss her.  That might have sealed the deal of her staying with me.  I guess I should have started stroking her hair and then her face.  I feel like that's the big test for me now.  If she's cool with that, and we've been gazing into each others eyes and I feel like it's on, then it's time to kiss.  It just felt too quick, but that was because I haven't made it my reality that things can happen that fast.  It was also the conversation being gibberish that made me doubt things. 

There's excessive gaming again. I have to get it out of my mind that I need to game so much.  I knew things were on and I escalated well, but  I should have tried to kiss her.  I can remember other sets when things were totally on even faster8than they were in this set.  Also, this is proof that body language and kino escalation can be more powerful than verbal.

Risking awkward moments and blowouts:
I want to stress for myself that I really did push my comfort zone.  I remember I opened this fat blonde at Sluggers near closing time.  I opened her with the intention of pushing things fast to try to extract or kiss close.  I really went all out.  Seagull and I used to talk about cavemaning fat girls just to see if we could pull them.  We'd say we were gonna do that, but then we'd game them as normal.  I didn't really caveman here, but I was pushing myself hard and I got busted out.

There was some brunette at Sluggers that I tried to push for venue change to after hours.  She ended up telling me to go away.

Finally, I opened this 3-set at Flatiron at last call.  That's near 5am since it was an after hours place.  They said they had just gotten off work so they probably were bartenders from some other place nearby.  I didn't have time to really game as the lights came on.  I decided to try a food extraction even though I knew chances were slim.  The girls tried to tell me that the place I wanted to go was closed.  They were full of shit cause we checked it out later.  (We wanted to make sure it was open in case we need to venue change a set there on a future Saturday night.)  I started brainstorming ideas for a food place.  I actually was brainstorming for myself and not really for them.  This one girl said, "Hey!  You can leave now. Bye" and she waved me away.  That hurt at the time and actually hurts now.  I'm not used to the harsh rejections any more, but that's what happens when you push hard or push your comfort zone.

Pushed just right or not enough?:
I was about to end the entry but I remember this set at Flatiron.  Seagull had gone to open these two blondes.  I was standing there when this brunette walked by.  She was probably like 5'10" as she was only a bit taller than me.  I did the web claw to pull her into me and I gave the Intent Intro opener.  She was hooked immediately.  We had strong eye contact and we started to talk about travel.  I felt like it was on but she suddenly said, "I'm actually look for a friend."  Normally, I would have just given up.  I knew the right move was to say, "Hey, let's to find her."  She said, "No, that's okay."  I then said, "Hey, remember, though, it's just you and me tonight." 

She walked away.  A few minutes later, I saw her standing by herself.  As I was about to approach again, I saw some guy talking to her.  Seagull said it seemed like the guy knew her.  We came back later on and he was still talking to her, or so we thought as we never really got close enough to actually examine the guy in detail.

I'm torn concerning this set.  I opened well and I tried to push things along when I normally would have given up.  Perhaps I should have approached her when she was alone there.  I could have even tried again when the guy was there.  I guess if I approached, I would have known what was up.  It just seems weird that she walked away when things were on.  I don't think I said anything that should have ruined things that quickly so it probably wasn't me at the first encounter.  

20 minutes of plowing:
Just as we were about to give up, I opened this 2-set.  This was right before I opened the bartenders at closing time.  Somehow I ended up talking to this girl who said she was Italian but I thought she was Latina for some reason.  She listened to me intently and kept good eye contact but she just wouldn't invest in the conversation.  Seagull came in and he seemed to be doing well so I kept trying to plow more.  Every time I stop talking, she wouldn't say anything.  At first, I kept plowing, but the second and third time I just let the silence sit.  They said sometimes that will make the girl talk.  The last time, I tried to talk about her rings.  I tried to kino her hand at that point and she pulled away so I figured the set wasn't going anywhere.  She did add a cool bit about how she actually made one of the rings.  Like she actually welded the metal which I think was cool.  In a final attempt, I gave her some BS Statement of interest.  I said something like, "I guess it's that' mysterious silent type that's drawing me in. You seem opened minded too so I guess that's why I like you."  She gave me this weird look.  We sat in silence again and then she finally got up and talked to these two guy friends that had been hovering near by. 

I assume they were just guy friends cause they never came in and said anything.  They just let us run the set.  Seagull ended up number closing his girl.  She really like him.  She kept kinoing him.  I'm glad he hit it off cause it meant that my 20 minutes of plowing at least yielded something in the end.  

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