Friday, April 29, 2011

Making a real effort to try quick pulls at end of night

I keep getting down on myself. I think about how this set seemed to be going well. I was handling a 5-set and while part of me worried about upstairs, I also felt more confident than ever before concerning dance floor game. I felt like I could dance with her for a few songs and be fine. The whole train ride back (which is over an hour) I kept trying to replay things back in my head. I even sent Herschey a text. He sent me a text telling me I overanalzye, but I explained to him that is how I get better. That's why I write all these entries. I figure out where I went wrong and try to correct it next time. I told him that I'm not thinking about moving chess pieces when I'm in set; it's only after, especially on a long train ride, that I get in analytical mode.

Part of me is still frustrated that I lost this set. That part tells me, "How do I keep screwing this up?" Of course, I know, as I seem to write every night, that this is just a process. Yes, I screw up, but I'm still learning. Even guys who are really good will lose sets and screw up. If I keep taking action, I'll get better and I'll get more results.

How far I've come:

I thought about the end of tonight. After my original target gave me that boyfriend BS, I developed the "fury" that RSD Tim talked about. I started trying to open more girls on and off the dance floor. I remember there was this cute blonde that walked by me. I clawed her into me. We made eye contact. I grabbed her hands and we were looking at each other and smiling. I immediately sensed high buying temperature but she started walking way. I persisted, "Hey, you can't go away! I'll be sad (Tim's line)." She said she had to go to the bathroom.

Normally, I would have left it at that, but I starting dance in a spot where I could scope out things. I wanted to grab her again when came out of the dance floor. I saw her again and she smiled. I started dancing with her again but she talked about finding a friend.

I tried to persist again and it worked initially. She stayed and danced with me some more. About two minutes later, she walked off. I found her again in a few minutes. I opened some sets in the meantime and didn't get anywhere. She was with this Indian or Pakistani guy. I started talking to him. The dude was actually really cool. I was having fun talking to him for a few minutes. She disappeared for a bit onto the dance floor and then she came back. I wasn't sure what their deal was, but the dude starting goading me into dancing with her.

I danced with her more and was just talking to try to get her more comfortable. I'm still new to this dance floor stuff. She said she was all drunk. I guess I should have tried to escalate more but I thought some talk was good too.

I remember mentioning how the place was gonna close soon. I talked up big Stuff (the giant pizza slice place down the street), but she didn't want food. I didn't have my car so I couldn't push an after party at my place. I asked her if she had liquor trying to set up an after party at her place, but she said she didn't have any.

I think she walked off again and I found her again. I really made a strong effort. Before I used to just give up too easily. I tried just saying, "Hey, let's get out of here." No go.

I love my effort. Part of her must have wanted to go, but I just couldn't seal everything. I guess I should have focused on esalating more. I was too busy trying to formulate words. Instead I should have gazed more into her eyes and tried to get closer. I should have tried to start stroking her face and hair. If I could get the makeout, things might have happened.

Still, as I'm doing this more and more, I'm getting my verbal down. It will start to just be autopilot and when I get the kino escalation right, which I'm always working on, then this has to start yielding results at one point

Closing time:

Just two weeks ago, closing time meant, "Oh shit. I guess I failed." Slowly, I started to just try for venue changes. I remember Seagull and I trying for a few at The Apartment one time to no avail. Now, I have a completely different mindset. I start really trying to zero in on girls that have high buying temperature. I've been doing Jeffy's line more, though I still am not going for the instant make out enough. At closing time, I've been cavemaning girls off the bad and trying to extract them. I guess tonight and Saturday, I should do the same but instead of pushing for the food or venue extraction, I can be even more direct. I can say "Let's get out of here" or "Do you want to come home with me?"

The later is obviously gonna be low probability, but even with enough attempts, it will eventually work. There was a post on mASF that had a good point: most guys don't get any lays because they don't actually try to do it. I want to get into the habit of trying. Besides that, the rejections build momentum and reference experiences. When I get comfortable going for instant make outs and just asking girls to come home with me at closing time, then I'm going find it way easier to kiss and try to pull girls that I've actually had time to build a connection with throughout the night.

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