Tuesday, August 23, 2011

This is all bullshit self hate

I did a quick look again at my blog entry titles from the past two months to remind me of the good, heck some were great, experiences I had. Yes, I've been triggered by some bad experiences, but I'm feeling shitty cause I'm allow myself to indulge the negative. I could view the lame things that I've been doing or experiencing as meaning I somehow suck now or lost my progress or whatever. That's not reality.

I need to view things properly. I had some cool experiences that I thought wouldn't happen to me for a long time. It's the stuff that happens to real PUA's but I'm on the verge of being one. Hell, why qualify it? I'm finally a PUA, but I just need a little more progress to see even more amazing results. I haven't gotten any new lays but things could be worse. I guess I forgot how it felt to not get laid for months. At least now I have a cool FB that I can hook up with whenever. I could have even probably banged my Polish friend. It's weird that when I've been horny, I've tried to escalate on her and she refused, but then when she was touching me, I didn't want it anymore.

Tall Blonde:
What the fuck was up with me caring about that? Yeah it sucks, but deep down, I knew she wasn't into me. 2j was right. I shouldn't think of it as the guy stealing her from me. If I had pushed things sooner, the set would have ended then but I'm the one that stalled. Furthermore, it's not like guys stealing my girl is symptomatic of a larger problem. Yeah that shit used to happen, but most of the time, it's a non issue. I've gotten rid of AMOG's and stolen girls or taken girls back so many times this summer. You can't win them all. The reality, though, is that if a girl is into me, I can handle competing guys competently now.

It bothers me that I wasn't cool enough for her to like me, but oh well. I have been off and even if I were cooler, it doesn't mean she would have wanted me. Some girls just won't want me no matter what. It's not like I don't get girls that I'm really attracted to me into me. Less than two weeks ago, there was this tall redhead that was instantly into me when I opened her with dance floor game. I have to remind myself of how I never would have been able to do dance floor game till recent history.

I have a choice. I can keep being negative and get more shit results to reinforce that idea. The other choice is to be positive and I'll get good experiences to reinforce that idea. Sometimes, the choice is just a mind trick. Here, the reality is that I usually get good results and I just have to forget about the last week.

As Jeffy would advise, "I just have to remember how awesome I am."

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