Saturday, August 20, 2011

From make out to friend zone & An After party pull but friend didn't like me

Before I dig into the negative moments of in the night, I should take a moment to bask in the positive. Far too often, I just think about my sticking points and how I screwed up. It's crazy how much I'll beat myself up over good nights. Take last week. I should be happy that I fingered this black girl with an awesome body yet all I could think about was how I didn't try to pull her to the VIP bathroom. I keep thinking about how I was so close to fucking her and how I screwed it up.

"Those three girls came out to meet you?" -Warcraft

That's what my buddy Warcraft said at one point in the night. My buddies had this free party at this bar that they won: free drinks and food for 2 hours. They had open spots so I invited a bunch of girls to come out. This Asian girl that I number closed on the street on Division came out late, and I met up with the two Irish girls I met two Tuesdays ago. It is cool that I was able to bring girls out for this: that circle of friends knew me through the years when I had no girls so it must have been weird to see this. Warcraft knows I'm sarging a ton, but it was another thing to actually see girls out with me.

Make out and then friend zone:

I got all fucked up cause of the free drinks. I wish I had remembered the night better as it seems odd to me when I recalled what happened with my Irish girl. During the free bar thing, I was being a party guy with the drinks. I spent some time talking to my target, but I also talked to some of my friends and to the Asian girl. When we had less than five minutes left for free drinks, I dragged my target to the bar and we chugged two drinks quickly. I think I went to the bathroom after that. I just remember that most of our group had left. I sat down next to my target and we made out briefly.

Shortly after that and several times throughout the rest of the night, all she cold tell me is how she just wants to be friends. I've been having a hard time squaring the two things together.

I think clearly the attraction was there. 2j saw it the night I met her and she did make out with me.

It's probably I was too friendly and not escalating sooner. Also, when we met up prior to the bar outing, I guess I should have made things more man-to-woman. We met up two stops from where we had to go and then took the train and walked to the bar. The friend was also there so I didn't feel as comfortable as I would have been had it just been my target and I. It was bad timing for me too. 2j had this Day2 that went awesome. Had he not had the Day2, I would have had help with the friend. I think there's a decent chance he could have progressed with the friend too.

Weird to get the friend zone:

It's so fucking weird for me to get this. I haven't had that in so long. I think that's why I felt so shitty afterward. It's like I felt I was back in AFC land somehow. Girls either reject me or hook up with me in some way lately. I don't necessarily get laid, but I at least make out with girls or they don't come out or the set just ends up going nowhere.

I'm still trying to figure out where I could have done better to avoid this situation. Should I have texted better? Clearly, the texting was fine: they did come out. As I said above, maybe I needed to kino more on the way to the bar. Maybe I should have been escalating more during the bar but I was trying to eat, talk to my friends, talk to the Asian girl, talk to my target, and get fucked up.

McDonalds dudes:

My buddy didn't get into our usual Friday spot. I think that fucked things up. Things would have gone better if we got in. My buddy had to leave anyway and we would have been in a club instead of out in the streets. I could have taken my girl to the dance floor and my dance floor game might have been enough to break through the BS friend zone. Instead, we somehow ended up at the Rock N' Roll McDonalds at 2am cause I mentioned going to a club near there and the other Irish girl wanted to get food.

They were drunk so they started chatting up two random dudes who ended up sitting with us. I'll give myself credit in that I set up the seating arrangement well. The one girl sat down in this booth. My target followed and then I sat next to her. The dudes sat on the other side. They kept talking and I was drunk and didn't say much, but I kept putting my arm around my target. Later, I dragged her away to go look at the time exhibit they have upstairs. The dudes were trying to get them to go for a drink but they ended up leaving when we came back.

Lead more:
I can see where the last post applied here. I mentioned going to English or another bar. They didn't really go for it but they jumped on McDonald's. If I wanted to go to the bar, I needed to say, "Let's go check out English" and lead them there. This is why I don't fucking pull! I throw ideas out and when the girls don't jump on them enthusiastically, I just drop the idea. That's what happened her and that's what happens when girls are ready to go home with me and I throw something out and then don't lead firmly like I'm supposed to do.

Scandanavian girls:

I went upstairs to take a piss at the girl's place. It was a good move to get inside there. If I hang out with them again, at least it won't be weird to be up in their place. I left after drinking a water I left. I was near Division so I stopped by one of the bars. I ended up opening this cute pale skin girl. I kino escalated a bit by putting my arm around her and touching her hand but I should have been able to set up a make out. I blame it on being in a chump state after getting rejected with my Irish girl. Still, as I've written in this post and the prior one: I need to work on making conversations man-to-woman every time.

She was with this blonde friend. The blonde liked this black dude and I saw them making out on the dance floor. The blonde didn't like me. She tried to bust me out early on even after I was introduced to her and tried talking to her. I just ignored her BS and plowed on and she let me hang out with the friend while she danced and kissed the black dude.

Closing time came and 2j text me that he was outside. I didn't realize he was still with his Day2. It was another situation where if he had been alone, we would have had this 2-set. I told my girl we were gonna have an after party with my buddy. I even sold up 2j to the blonde. The black dudes, at this point, had accepted they weren't gonna pull and had gone outside.

I got outside and saw that 2j was with his Day2. That was disappointing as now I had no one for the blonde. It might have worked trying to pull with the other dude, but that dude had a wing with him. The wing sucked in that he wasn't able to win over my girl and he was just standing there. Still, the double pull wasn't gonna work because the other dude kept trying to pull with his buddy.

So much easier with a girl:

2j's girl was totally cool and I actually got to observe some dynamics that I'm not used to seeing. Having a girl helping sell the after party is huge. My girl really wanted to go especially when she saw there was gonna be another girl there. She didn't want to leave the blonde. The blonde was kissing the black dude. I started talking to 2j and his girl and then my girl started to gravitate towards the black dudes. I heard the dudes talking about taking the girls to the Cubs game. 2j's girl ended up going up and talking to both girls.

She confirmed later that my girl liked me but she said the blonde didn't like me. That was clear.

Blonde hated me:
Perhaps that's a harsh heading. The blonde didn't like me. From the start, I said she was trying to bust me out. The black dudes ended up leaving and I thought I had the after party pull. I was leading my girl to follow 2j but then the blonde started pulling my girl away. Some random Latino dude started talking to them. Rather than go with us as my girl wanted to do, she started listening to that guy's BS about an after party. This is when I said to my girl, "Wow, she'd rather consider going to an after party with some random dude rather than with 2j, his girl, and I. WTF?"

Some thoughts on leading:
I recall the two black dudes talking to the set. The one guy was being firm about number closing my target. She was starting to comply. Girls do that. I know that from my own experience, but again, I often am not dominant enough. Funny thing was that I had my moment here. I said in her ear, "Tell him that you have a Norwegian number." She was digging in her purse to get her phone but when I said this, she stopped and told him that line.

When the blonde started listening to the Latino dude, I needed to be firm. I wasn't as comfortable being firm with her as I knew she didn't like me. Still, I know drunk girls. When the dude starting yapping, I should have just grabbed both their hands and lead them towards 2j.

My final mistake was just letting my girl go with the blonde.

"Do what must be done"

I think of the Emperor saying that in Star Wars III. I lost the set at the end because I didn't push. I didn't give it my best effort. Ozzie talks about having tug of wars with friends sometimes. 2j and his girl told me that even if the blonde didn't want to go, I could have tried to pull the friend solo. Again, I listened to her objections instead of leading.

My target said, "I can't leave my friend even though she would leave me."

As I type that, I realize she was giving me permission to lead her. Even if she had just said, "I can't leave my friend," 2j had a good point that I could have said, "You're an adult aren't you?" I think back on Jeffy's advice on my failed pull of that black girl several weeks ago. He said I did too much convincing. I needed to just tug on my targets arm more and say "Let's go."

The fact that she said "even though she would leave me" means that she was more likely to leave. Clearly, her friend had left her before to hook up with guys. My target even said that guys always like her friend. The strange thing is that I was WAY more attracted to my target than the blonde.

How the hell did I just let the set end by some random dude pulling the blonde away?

I ended up seeing my target walk back. I had been by 2j and his girl talking for about 5 minutes when I saw my girl trying to get a cab. I approached her but her buying temperature had dropped as I expected. Instead of plowing, I just walked away. That was dumb too. I knew she wasn't going to be all high buying temperature so I should have made a better effort than that. I needed to make her laugh and pump her state and then try to pull.

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