I went out solo and had another cool night. I can't believe I blew off Wednesday. I was legitimately tired, but had I gone out, I'm sure I would have had fun. Today, I started out in Lincoln Park at our usual spots. I was surprised that I was still in beast mode after not having gone out since Saturday. It's didn't take me long to open my first set. I ended up seeing my favorite redhead but more on her later. On the dance floor at our usual Thursday spot, I feel like I was dancing as a way of opening for real. Sure, I was approaching sets on the dance floor and stopping girls but I didn't open too many sets verbally. I found I was opening some dance floor sets and then not really committing to trying to dance with the girls. I mean that I know I should grab each one and dance and spin them but I often didn't put the full effort into it.
New Wing:
I went to this after hours club that my promoter that I used on Fridays promotes on Thursdays. There were a bunch of girls there but it was all mixed sets. I ended up meeting this Asian guy that's pretty cool. He never even heard of the community but he seems open minded enough to learn this stuff. I told him that he is already halfway there: he was out alone and was confident enough to go on the dance floor and try to dance with girls. Later, he came up and winged me when I told him to come into sets. Some guys, even wings I've been out with, are scared to talk to girls even when I already opened them.
He has some typical Asian guy sticking points like this guy on the RSD forums. He doesn't feel confident with white girls as he thinks they don't like Asian guy. He also believes in the social conditioning BS. When I told him about some of my natural friends, his first question was if they were good looking.
Unlike the dude on the forums, this guy is open minded about learning and seems willing to try to learn this stuff. He also was taking action.
Instant Kiss:
I was out on Division and wandering on the street. I opened this chubby girl. In the middle of me talking my first few sentences, I noticed she was moving her face closer to me. I just stopped talking cause my brain was yelling, "She wants to kiss you right now." It's cool how much I have improved. Just two months ago, I would have recognized the girl wanting to kiss me and I still would have been afraid to pull the trigger. I grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her.
I screwed up in that I pulled back too soon. She was drunk, I should have made out with her and started escalating a bit. I could have escalated verbally too. Instead, I pulled back and started running verbal game on her. That might be okay, but she was too drunk for verbal game.
Then her friend came up to her and asked, "Do you know this guy?" Had I continued kissing her, the friend wouldn't have even done this. My girl said she didn't and then the friend started to tell me this BS, "I'm sorry, but she has a boyfriend, blah blah." Of course, she hadn't seen the girl kissing me. Lesson learned though.
Make out with my friend:
I had a repeat of what happened on Saturday. I opened this girl in a 3-set at Mother's. This was just after I kissed the girl out on the street. I introduced myself to the friends. I must have been giving a great vibe as one of the friends said, "She's single." I kept talking and then about a minute later she said, "You should make out with her. I promise you she's a good kisser. She's a little shy."
She said the last sentence because the friend started to get embarrassed. I tried to learn from Saturday. I got close to the girl but she didn't want to kiss. It was like she was shy as she kept giggling and looking down. I tried to persist but then she wandered off.
Leading & The after party:
On the street, I saw these two black girls. One was this tall cutie. I stopped them and I started escalating on my target. I was immediately holding hands with her and she was into it. The friend wanted to go in a bar but the one next to us had stopped letting people in. I told the girls we should grab a drink. I found out they lived far in Indiana. Now, my new wing had wandered off. I told him after this to stay close to me cause I needed him for sets like this.
I told the girls to come hang out and have a drink. They agreed but the friend said,, "Where?" I told them to come with me.
Here's why I need practice leading. They had basically agreed to do this but I remember hesitating. I wasn't sure what to do. Also, I had mentioned my wing but he was nowhere in sight.
I knew I screwed up because when I felt that moment of hesitation, the friend said, "We have to go" and started to lead the girl away. I knew my girl was into me as she didn't really want to leave and ended up leaving reluctantly.
How to lead:
I keep thinking about how I'm supposed to lead. If I remember what I've read in the past, I have to make a decision. In this case, I said we were going to grab drinks at my place. (As I write this, I remember hesitating also because I knew my place was far way.) The right thing to do is say, "Let's go" and start walking towards my car. I have to walk like I expect them to follow and I should also tug gently on my girls hand so she'd follow.
Instead, I hesitated and when you don't lead, the girls will lead and lose attraction.
AMOGS & leading:
I opened this Minnesota girl. She was into me and her friend was really high buying temperature. The guy that was putting moves on the friend ended up leading the friend across the street and my girl followed reluctantly.
Later, I saw the girls. The one guy was talking to his girl and like three guys were trying to talk to my target. I hesitated for about a minute and then decided to go in. She was standing in front of this doorway and the three dudes were around her in a semi-circle. I went right in and ignored them. I started talking into my girl's ear with the hot pepper story.
The guys had some moves. They might have even read a bit of community stuff. One dude started trying to talk to the girl and then his friend tried to get logical on me. He asked, "What do you think about our Iraq policy?" I knew that he was trying to get logical and ruin my sarge. I replied, "Look at you trying to get all logical. We're trying to have fun here."
My girl said, "I like to get logical." I put my arm around her and then she started asking me rapport questions. The guys just faded away.
The problem is that the guy who was with the friend grabbed that girl a few minutes later and said, "Let's go." Then, my girl had to follow again. She even said, "I don't know where we are going."
Follow, you fool:
I was holding the girls hand as she started to walk towards the friend. Thinking back, I should have put my arm around her and just started walking with her. I tried to lead her to come with me but that wasn't the right move.
I have to remember how that guy just said, "Let's go" and started leading the friend. He did it just as I described that I should do it above. He said it firmly, and then started walking as he grabbed his target's hands. He didn't hesitate and he didn't look back for assurance. He just started walking and leading.
Drunk idiot:
Some drunk frat black dude started giving me shit. I had stopped this girl and some guy came up and said it was his girlfriend. It looked to be the case. As I was talking to that set, this other girl and this fat, tall, frat looking black dude rolled up. The guy started talking shit and making karate noises to make fun of me.
I looked at him and said, "Wow dude, you really need to learn to control your liquor."
He said, "I am controlling myself, otherwise I'd come whoop your ass."
The girl gave him this look and said, "Come on" and started to lead him away.
As this was happening I laughed, "Wow dude, you are really tough. You're like 3 times my size."
The guy was a jack off and pulled me out of state but I quickly brushed it off. I told my new wing that in the past I would have ignored the dude as he talked shit. Now, I feel obliged to try to tool him as he's talking shit. I actually felt no fear cause the dude was too drunk too fight and Division is the safest place you can be as there are a ton of cops in the street there.
My redhead:
I think I was acting too flaky around her. I had seen them out on the sidewalk. I talked for a bit, but I think I should have talked longer. I ended up telling them I'd meet them inside. That wasn't a bad move necessarily. I saw them sitting on a couch upstairs later when the place was still slow. I talked to my target for a bit, but it was a love seat so they were sitting together and there was no where for me to sit. I walked away but maybe I should have talked more.
My biggest screw up was when I came upstairs and saw them talking to the bouncer. I grabbed my target and high fived her and spun her. She was more enthusiastic than usual but I ended up walking away. I think this was dumb. Since she was finally responding well, I shouldn't punish her with a takeaway.
I ran into them two other times. I tried to get her to come to the after hours club but they wanted to go next door like they had last week.
I'm not sure what I was supposed to do since I had no wing. Maybe that goes back to earlier. When I ran into them on the sidewalk, I should have talked more. The redhead was with a new friend so I could have gotten to know her more. Had I chatted more, I could have hung out with them instead of what ended up happening.
On a side note, the redhead must not have been wearing heels today. She isn't as tall as I thought but I still want her. I think she's only 5'9" but that's still hot.
Thoughts:
I'm glad I went out. Again, I don't know why I have to force myself to go out solo when it always turns out well. I need to work on leading and I need to just chill with the redhead next time. She had been at Joe's Tuesday. It seems like she goes to the same places every Tues and Thurs. If I can't hook up with her, I should at least create a social circle with her so I have girls to go out with.
Leading, though, is my biggest sticking point. I had 2-3 sets that might have had pull potential. Those two black girls were ready for the after party. Yeah, I live farther than I'd like, but I shouldn't have worried about that. When they basically agreed to have an after party, I should have lead confidently towards my car. As Jeffy said, I needed to just keep talking about random stuff to keep their state up. Then, I'd get to the car, which was actually as close as you could park a car to Division and then I get them to go in and just start driving. If they started to ask how far, I just needed to say, "It's not that far" and just keep vibing.
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