Saturday, August 6, 2011

Bad Night Persistence yields valuable lessons and near kiss closes at end

Yesterday was brutal for most of the night. It was probably the roughest night I've had in weeks or even months. I blame it on going out on an empty stomach and drinking my usual 4 beers. I drank them over a half hour period last night and I felt the effects more than the other times when I chugged 4 drinks over like 10 minutes. I started to feel tired from the drinks too so I mostly stood around while I waited for Segun. I did open a few sets but I have to admit I didn't give it my full effort and left the sets right away instead of persisting.

The night was full of quick bust outs. I also regret that I didn't continue my trend of opening every girl that I really wanted. There were these two really tall, thin girls that were smoking hot and wearing really short dresses. They had some guys that were with them but that wouldn't have stopped me before.

Lessons in leading came from this hard day:
First, I must say that despite it being a shitty day, last night was once again proof that progress is possible in this game. I'll even go as far as saying that many guys would love to have my shitty nights. Thinking back, this shitty night would have been a massive success early on. With the exception of the tall hotties, I approached every other girl set that I fancied. I even had a few sets that lasted a few minutes, and two of those were dance floor sets. I think about how JW (That's what I'm naming the Asian dude from Thursday) said he's happy when he goes out and one girl dances and grinds with him. That reminder that I should remember to put my nights in perspective.

The main lesson that stuck in my head came after our usual debriefing conversation that Seagull and I have in the car ride home. I was thinking about the night and he mentioned this chubby black girl that I opened near the end of the night. He talked about how I lead her to go sit down and how she seemed reluctant but then followed. Thinking back, I need to remember how I was in that set because that's how I need to be leading. I followed what I wrote on my other posts this week: I decided I was gonna lead the girl (in this case to go sit down), I grabbed her hand, I turned and started walking like I expected her to follow, I didn't hesitate and I didn't turn around to look back to check if she was okay with it, and I gently tugged on her arm as I was walking away.

Of course, she followed me. Then, when we got to the seating area, I sat down and she again threw up some resistance about how she had to find her friend. Here was another key lesson:
I wrote before that Jeffy said in my near pull FR that I do too much "convincing." He said I need to blow off objections with , "yeah,yeah" and just keep talking.

I caught myself convincing her to sit down initially. I remember saying, "Sit down, your friends won't leave without yeah. It's only for a little bit." Then, in my head I realized I was going about it the wrong way. I just stopped talking and burst into some story and she sat down. It's the old lesson:

Don't try to change a girl's mind logically. Change her emotions.

These two lessons of leading: leading her with the confidence I showed on the isolation move, and leading her emotions as opposed to convincing her logically are the two keys for me to have more successful pulls in the future.

Momentum & Persistence:
Despite the huge sequence of blow outs, I didn't let the rejection bother me. I write about this old wing of mine that leaves after an hour when he perceives that things are not going well. This lesson of momentum from RSD is so huge. Tonight was more of a lesson in how you learn to trust yourself: you learn that even if things are going badly, you know you'll figure it out. Moreover, you don't lose confidence or state. I was laughing it off the whole night. I shrug my shoulders a lot of times when I get an instant bust out and I found myself shrugging a lot last night. At no point did I entertain the negative thoughts that I might have indulged in the past, "Wow, I suck. I'm a loser... etc." I know it was just a bad night and as I've written about before, even someone like Tom Brady can play a shitty game so why would I not expect to have a sub par night.

The persistence paid off in the end. I had some good street sets.

Latina kiss close opportunity:
I opened this Latina girl who was waiting for the valet. Initially, she was backing off from my kino escalation, though the eye contact was strong and we were vibing pretty well. I remember trying to move closer and having her step back a step. I remember grabbing her hand a few times and her resisting it. I back off a bit and kept talking and then proceeded to escalate again. Soon, we were in a deep conversation and I was holding both her hands at the end. I was thinking about setting up the kiss close when the valet finally came with her car and she ran off.

I made two mistakes. I feel like the bad night did affect me in that I probably would have went for the kiss sooner had I had a normal night. While I didn't let the blow ups ruin my night, I wasn't exactly in the PUA zone either. I remember this moment of silence when we were looking at each other. I should have tried for the kiss then and not waited like I did. Also, when she ran to the car, I should have followed and try to number close at least. Sometimes I worry that it looks needy or creepy but at least it would have been making an attempt. The set was on so I should have tried to burn the bridges down instead of just letting her go off and never see her again.

Hot, curvy, Eastern European chick:

Shortly after the Latina set, I was near this club with a lot of hot Russian and other Eastern European girls. This stripper I knew from playing cards in Milwaukee used to drive down to this club actually so it gives you an idea of how popular it is with that crowd (she was from E. Europe). I opened these two Polish girls that were standing outside smoking. They gave me some strong resistance and the beginning.

I think I feel entitled to Polish girls just because I've had success with them in the past. My first girlfriend was Polish, I have some female Polish friends, and my first SNL was with a Polish girl. I need to be nonreactive and feel the entitlement that I felt in this set when they were giving me bullshit at the beginning. (This is why field experience is massive. I know all these concepts in theory, but here I gained an experience that I'll remember that will give me a reference point for future sets.) Within a minute, the girls were comfortable with me. The leader girl ended up pushing me onto her friend. It's probably because she liked me but was probably seeing some guy.

The friend was this very pretty Ukrainian girl. I'm not really into big breasts, but I couldn't help but notice how huge hers were and she had a top that highlighted them. Seagull added that he noticed the girls had really pretty eyes.

It was on with this girl as soon as I moved my attention to her. It is amazing how I was getting busted out left and right and by trusting myself and staying out, I was able to attract a very attractive girl. I ended up stalling at the end, but initially, I was doing great. I was joking around and even tickling her. For some reason, I just felt comfortable being playful and I hope I will learn to be more like this in future sets. She was leaning against a wall and I was all up on her and of course we were holding eye contact.

She gave me a huge IOI when the two friends went back inside and she stayed out with me. I think my mistake was I moved too slowly for street game. Also, she didn't speak English too well. That's fine: physical game is universal. My problem was I was talking too much. I know my verbal is good but here it was undermining the set. I should have went to kiss close her as soon as the friends left. It might not have worked but that was the right move, I think. I had her at a peak buying temperature and the friends were gone so I didn't have to worry about the ASD associated with make outs in front of friends. The signs were there that the set had "popped."

Verbal Kiss close to close the distance?:

I shun the verbal kiss closes, but sometimes, the moment seems there but I feel awkward going for it. I don't mean that I'm scared to go for it. If I had been just a little bit closer to the Latina chick and this the E. European chick, I think I would have went for the kiss. Keep in mind that it's not like I'm two or three feet away like most guys would be. I just wasn't totally up in the girl's face like I usually am.

I remember both times that I had a moment when we were gazing into each others eyes. I felt awkward having to close the distance and it's probably because my kiss closes the past few weeks have been when our faces were much closer than this. I might not like the verbal kiss closes, but maybe I should have used them so I felt more comfortable closing the distance.

I could have said, "I want to kiss you" and moved forward or, "Close your eyes." I think I also could have started caresses the back of the girls neck or stroking her face.

Thinking back on the sets as I write this entry, I really can't believe I didn't go for it. In my defense, I did say it was a bad night. I think I'll remember these two moments from these two sets and when I'm in the situation again, maybe I'll be more comfortable.

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