Sunday, June 10, 2012

Street pickup that probably should have been a pull

I'll start of by saying that what I wrote on Thursday has really helped me out.  I've adjusted some minor things the past two days: for example, I recognized that I talk softer when I talk to women and that's why they can't hear me, and I realized that when I'd kino, I'd do it in a way that was basically asking "Can I touch here" instead of touching her a like a man, meaning, touching her in a dominant way.  I find myself correcting things that I had internalized right before I stopped sarging when I got the girlfriend last year.  I was way more aggressive with my kino then but I'm getting better now.  The largest change, though, was that the big inner game realization.  When I see a cute girl, I tell myself that I'm gonna approach and I'm going to do it right. 

As I wrote on Thursday, the only difference from when I have good game or shit game now is just how my mind is deciding to act.  When I decide that I'm gonna open the set right, I just click something in my head.  Instead of pondering self doubt, I tell myself that I can do this and I just act.  If I'm being especially hesitant, I start singing that Karate Kid song "You're the Best" (i'll link the video at the end) in my head to movtivate me. 

I've been happy lately with myself in that I open mosts sets that I wanted to open.  The exception was this one 3-set at Red Ivy, and a bunch of street sets that I let walk by at the end of the night.  I got into several longer sets, but 2j pointed out that I was letting them stall.  I was working this taller blonde and I let it stall.  When I sensed I was stalling, I should have pumped up her state a bit and then just number closed.  I ended up not number closing that set which was dumb. 

Street open:
2j and I left Red Ivy and were walking across the street.  We spotted this drunk girl trying to hail a cab so I opened her.  I don't even remember what I said.  2j used my opener to start talking to her.  He did this the other day to prove a point that I wasn't stepping up enough.  It's of mixed value.  When he busts in on a solo set that I opened like that, I end up letting him take over, but this time it actually made me step up. 

Funny thing is that I almost lost the set.  She kept wavering between wanting to talk to us and tryign to get a cab.  She was having a hard time flagging one down as they were all full.  This mini van cab suddenly pulled up and this guy got there just as she did.  As he was talking to the cab driver, she tried to hop in.  As she was doing that, this girl grabbed her and pulled her off.  At this point, I was
asking 2j why he keeps opening solo sets after I opened them . I was a little aggravated as I said, "If you want the set, then open it yourself instead of using me as an easy in."  Just as we're debating this, she walks back as she didn't catch the cab.

Again, I say this 2j conflict was mixed as I forced myself to step up.  I started telling her that we were gonna grab coffee.  I ended up leading her towards the coffee shop that I took this South American girl to July of last year.  2j was following me.  I stopped to talk to him but it seemed like he was trying to talk to the girl again so I was like, WTF? and just kept walking.  Another humourous thing was that we walked by DJ R who happened to be there with his friend. 

Connection over food:
When I first opened her, she seemed like this cute drunk girl but I was surprised to learn that she had a deeper side to her.  She had travelled extensively and the conversation was never dull.  She kept complimenting me.  It just sometimes feel weird to keep getting complimented.  I realized, again, that I don't give myself enough credit.  I do dwell on my negatives and forget that I have a lot of positive qualities. 

I felt like the mistake here was that we had some moments where if I weren't at this coffee shop and sitting across a table from her, I would have gone for the kiss.  There were several moments where we were gazing into each other's eyes.  Thinking back, I should have just leaned over and started to stroke her face and kissed her.  That would have made my dilemma later on so much easier.  I'll give myself some credit for rubbing her legs.  The fact that she seemed to like that means I should have started more kino escalation over food. 

When the bill came, I was wondering if I was gonna have to pay.  The girl actually paid for the whole bill but I forced some change onto her.  Thinking back, this was a minor mistake.  I should have let her pay for my meal but I dont' really like taking free meals or drinks. 

Lost on what to do:
At the time, I was conflicted on what my next move was.  This was the big screw up.  I mentioned watching a movie to try to see if she was receptive to me coming over already.  She said she didn't like movies.  I had mentioned Big City Tap but I didn't want to go there so I didn't push it enough.  I was just walking in that direction and I told her as much.  Part of me thought maybe I should try to invite her over. 

The set ended here cause I stopped leading and hesitated.  At this point, she said, "I think I'm too drunk and I"m gonna go home.  Take my number here and text me later."  I took her number and then she hailed a cab.  As the cab pulled up, I pulled her into me and tried to invite myself.  We kissed and she  told me again to text her. 

I suppose a last ditch move would have been to get in the cab and pull her in.  I don't know if that would have worked. 

Choose something and lead:
As I drove home tonight, I realized that whatever the next venue was didn't matter.  I'm gonna talk with 2j on the merits of Big City or pushing for her place or mine, but I think those are minor details.  If I just chose one and lead towards that outcome, she would have come along.  Also, I should have turned things physical and sexual much sooner.  As I wrote above, I could have started kissing and making out in the coffee place.  Yeah it felt weird cause it wasn't a bar but the moment was there.

As played, when we left the place, I should have pumped her state up by complementing her.  I mean, I actually could have told her some reasons why she was different than other girls and then pulled her in and started making out.  I won't even say, had  that worke,d, as most likely it would have.  After that, I could have pushed for her to come over or for me to go over. 

The other move was just to go to Big City tap.  I could get her on the dance floor and escalate there and then the final pull would have been easy as well. 

Missed lays from inexperience:
Oh well, I'm happy with the night but this end game mistakes frustrate me.  I've missed so many lays in the last year at the very end.  With just a bit more pulling experience, some missed opportunities would have succeeded.  I'm worried that this girl will be like that drunk girl last year that was ready to go when I met her but then hard to meet up with when the buzz wore off.  I ended up meeting this particular girl I'm thinking off again, but there was no chemistry the second time.  (That turned into a cool night away as I ended up working off the bad Day 2 and getting a near lay with this voluptuous black girl.  And there was another missed lay cause of inexperience... sigh.)

The lesson is that I need to practice pulling more often. It's good that I'm going after the cuter girls but I should spend the last hour of each night trying to aggressively pull.  I also need to work summer street game like I used to do last year. 

No comments:

Post a Comment