Sunday, June 17, 2012

Escalation Window: I wanna show you something

As I lay awake in bed in my 4 hours of sleep zombie state, it suddenly hit me.  The situation with Red would have been way easier if I hadn't missed the first escalation window.  This reminds me of the hand analyses I see on twoplustwo.  Someone asks what he should have done with this hand on the river (last card), and people tell him the hand would have been easier had he not screwed up earlier in the hand. 

I realized it when I wrote Part 1 of my report.  I was imagining things when I remembered having that moment with Red.  We had been talking about various things and Nintendo had thrown out some good group jokes.  We had small isolation in that Nintendo and Shorts were in their own conversation and I had begun a deep rapport thread with Red.  She opened to me about her personal life in a way that made us realize that we think about the world in similar ways, and it made me realize some qualities in her that really did make her different that many girls that I sarge when out. 

More important than all that in terms of game moments, is that there was that eye gazing moment.  The mutual eye gaze was there and she was giving me what Tyler now calls "Anime eyes" but what the community calls "DDB" or "Doggy Dinner Bowl Look."  I wrote that I didn't feel comfortable kissing her there even though I saw the moment was there.  Maybe that was a good move.  The kiss could have happened but it's usually good to do initial escalation like that away from the friend. 

It didn't even occur to me to move her to another part of the bar:
Of course, I'm familiar with that move.  I make a big tactical error in my sets in general in that I don't move the girl around the club enough.  This is an old MM outer game technique that is key to pulling.  I remember Julian mentioning the same ideas on free tour.  You move the girl around the club to make pulling easier.  It works because it gets the girl used to following your lead.  You develop some attraction by virtue of you being alpha and leading, and she gets comfortable as she's being lead and has fun or maintains good emotions at each new location.  Each new location (here's the MM theory) is a new memory she has of you which gives the illusion that she's known you longer than she really has.  This is the same reason that you venue change. 

I play it too safe by standing in the same spot far too often.  By not leading the girl around or not escalating or leading, I'll let sets stall out, like I did with this cute girl last Saturday at Moe's. 

I'll add that this particular bar tonight is a compounding factor.  If I'm a bigger venue like this suburban place called "Drink" that has a beer garden and multiple bars and seating areas inside, in my head I realize that there are other places to move the girl in the bar.  Heck, if there's a dance floor, I realize that's a move.  In small venues, it doesn't even register that I can move the girl around because logically, it seems stupid to just move her to the other side of the bar.

Logic is not equal to good game.  Move her:
Yes, this was a small venue, but there was a bar area that was separate from where we were sitting.  There was also a couch area on the other side.  Logically, then there were other places to go.  I titled this section as  I did as even if I'm in a really small venue, I should still think about moving the girl to the other side.  Ozzie says in "Transformations," just tell there girl, "Come here, I wanna show you something," or "Let's go to the bar."  When they follow you, you don't have to show them anything or buy drinks, you just keep talking and/or escalate if appropriate.  They won't call you out for moving them and then not really have a reason. 

The set popped, I isolate:
Again, this was the move for all the reasons I just laid out.  We have that moment and yes I might have been able to kiss her right in front of the friend.  There's no reason to not play solid game so I should have isolated to make it more likely for the kiss close to work.  I should have said, "Come her I wanna show you something" and lead her to the other part of the bar.  If she asks or protests, I could have said, "I wanna check out this other bar."  I pull her to the couches and have her sit down.  I give a true IOI about why she stands out form other girls while we are sitting close.  I then just gotta stroke her face and pull her in for the kiss.  It likely would have been on. 

If the kiss works, the move was then to maybe make out for a bit, but then go back to the table.  The friend would probably notice the new dynamic.  If Nintendo didn't start to escalate at that point, I or Red and I could have down stuff to encourage the escalation.  I'm thinking about stuff like in Pickup Artist 2 where the guy helps his wing by talking him up to the girl even more.  I'm thinking I could have said then, "You guys look really good together" or "You guys make a cute couple."  There's also something high energy like what RSD Tim does in "Flawless Natural" where you joke about the two being married and nudge them together. 

Window closed and Opened again:
It all makes sense now.  I feel dumb that at the 2nd bar I was wondering why she wasn't in to me like she was in the first bar.  I had even begun to try to escalate more there.  I remember now that halfway through the set at the first bar, Nintendo had text me, "We'll move then to another bar and escalate there."  I had another beer at the second bar which made me more aggressive.  Red noticed this as she said, "That alcohol must be taking effect" and then she pushed me back a little.  I was wondering why, but the answer is that I had the window at the first bar and didn't take it and she lost interest.  Maybe she thought at the second bar, "So now he's trying to get with me cause he's drunk."  If I had made the move at the 1st bar, it would have looked like we had that connection and that's why I was escalating. 

Windows don't usually open again when you screw up like I did.  2j is right in that I've lost so many sets by letting them stagnate.  Here was a really are case.  In this case, through Nintendo's help with the pull to their house, and with some decent moves by me at their place, I feel like I opened that window again.  As I wrote in Part 2, I did well by being chill early on at their place and just trying to have fun.  I also kept trying to escalate and even at Bar 2, I made sure not to act butt hurt that the girl was pushing me off and trying to talk to other guys. 

I made the great move at her apartment where we were grinding close for a bit and then I decided to pull back.  She moved towards me and I moved a little back, and then she moved in closer.  I remember recognizing that as progress.  Then, as described in Part 2, I had that moment where I came up behind her and I felt like I had finally opened that escalation window again and was about to push things forward.

This set taught me a ton and I'm surprised that it even brought an early game weakness to the fore front.  I thought through three long posts that the lessons where in my uncharted end game and with pulling, but missed the glaring hole in my game that's holding me back: not creating and escalating on windows early on. 

No comments:

Post a Comment