Friday, June 15, 2012

Gave it my best but need to step up even more

I was afraid that I was gonna feel a letdown today because it was likely that I wasn't gonna duplicate Wednesday.  I ran into 2j and he made it sound like I was even more aggressive than I remember on Wed.  He said I was going up hard on 9's with physicality and entitlement. 

Tonight is probably a good opportunity to learn the old sports adage that I've mentioned before: it's not whether you win or lose, but how you played the game.  Well, in sarging, if I gave my best effort, then if I go home alone or no make outs or anything happened, I should still be happy with the night. 

I felt like I was giving my best effort early on.  I hit up the few sets that were there.  I approached the sets that went on the dance floor and danced with them even though I knew everyone in the club would see this going down.  I approached this bachelorette set with some really hot girls, like maybe the hottest ones I've seen all week.  I forced myself to approach this tall blonde in that set twice even though I was a little intimidated. 

Small successes:
I did have a little success.  I went downstairs to take a piss and I saw this two set standing by the bathroom.  I opened them when I came out and they were really receptive.  After talking for a few minutes, I told them that they should come upstairs.  The cute blonde told me she didn't even know there was an upstairs.  This was a brief moment where I was leading in the way that I need to when I move girls around and also when I'm going for the pull.  I was leading by being firm and assertive but not being needy.  I was leading them in the way I would when I expected someone to follow me. 

I got upstairs and I starting dancing in between them.  I could tell the blonde was more drunk and she was cuter, so I started to dance up on her.  She was looking into my eyes and I felt it was on, but then she started to tell me that she couldn't kiss me because she had a boyfriend.  It was frustrating, but I really felt like she was into me but not enough to want to forget about the boyfriend.  She was cool with me being up on her but then after protesting for about 20 seconds, she pulled back.  I guess I should have went for the friend. 

The other set I was happy with was a sidewalk set I opened as I was leaving the bar.  I lost state near the end of the night.  I think it was because I had hit up every set and  had even returned to several sets.  I saw this tall brunette with some guys she was into and wished it was me.  I had seen these black dudes be successful with these blondes and I think it was them that I later saw on Division making out with some hot blondes.  I was trying to be positive when I saw these two cuties standing on the sidewalk. 

Part of me wanted to walk by and not approach, but almost on autopilot, I turned to them as I got close.  I listened again to this Tyler talk about being congruent to your state.  As  I was a little down, I didn't try to fake being in high energy mode like I might of the past.  I just opened, and I felt I was a little quieter than I normally would have been.  I was surprised that the set opened well.  The one girl got a phone call and I could hear her trying to get directions from whoever she was talking to.  At the same time, I was working on my target.  I had gotten a little up on her, but I noticed she was uncomfortable so I pulled back.  I remember asking about some necklace she was wearing that had stars on them.  I asked what the necklace meant.  She said, "What do you think it means?"  I said, "Hopefully, it means you're into astronomy."  I then went on to talk about the stars.  I go on that topic a lot and often it doesn't stick, but when a girl is into it, the set really takes off.

This girl was smiling at me and it felt like it was on, but then I could tell the other girl was walking away.  I could hear her telling the person on the phone where she was; it sounded like their ride was coming up the street.  I got a huge IOI when it was obvious my target had to go but she was reluctant to go.  She was hovering near me and saying, "I'm sorry, I really have to go.  I have to follow her." 

Of course, the move should have been to just take a number.  I hate short set number closes.  Again, I think I made a mistake her by not taking the number.  Yes, it's not ideal, but sometimes the quick number closes turn into something.  I think it's good that I don't make a habit of farming phone numbers and using it as an excuse to leave the set early.  I still have gone too far in the other direction but not taking phone numbers when I should: for example her, and I also should have number closed the blonde yesterday that 2j's girl had brought. 

Good, but need to step up more:
I think I was frustrated in that I gave it my all but it just didn't seem to be enough.  I really felt like I had put my best effort, but driving home, I realized that I let my inhibitions go as much as I could but I still need to work on taking the next step.  I need to push even harder, and I still have to work on entitlement. 

A perfect example is this tall blonde in the bachelorette set.  She was my ideal girl.  She was over six feet tall with her heels, really cute, and had a nice body.  I had approached her when she was with the bride to be and another girl on the couch.  I had said, "Hey, are you guys out of energy already?  How come you're not on the dance floor?"  She said they were going back soon.  I asked her name and it was Britney, so I told her I was calling her Britney Spears even though she didn't have Britney's shaved head.  I told her my name and did my usual bit about how to remember it. 

Later, I saw them back on the dance floor.  This was when I started to get out of state.  I finally told myself that I needed to approach cause I knew I'd regret not trying.  I went up and this black dude was dancing with three of the girls, including my target.  I approached and pushed my way into the circle.  I got my girls attention.  She said the black dude was teaching her how to dance.  I said, "Oh really?"  I then got her split off from the group and started running some verbal on her.  I asked her where she was from.  I learned she wasn't from Chicago, so I told her that she needed to make sure she had some pizza.  I then said, "I don't know, you might be one of those girls who would order a salad and not have some pizza."  Of course, she qualified herself by saying, "No, I would totally eat pizza." 

Thinking back on this set, I guess I was money for a little bit here.  I was joking around with the girl and she was qualifying herself to me.  I was even speaking too closely and she was interested enough that she leaned down so her ear could be by my mouth.  Oh, and she remembered my name.  I screwed up cause I failed a shit test and gave up.  Well, I think I stalled, but whatever reason, she decided to go talk to the black dude.  Instead of persisting by dancing with her friends or just trying to get her attention again, I walked away. 

I have to step up.  I was confident for a bit but I definitely didn't feel true entitlement.  I remember driving home and thinking, "I guess I couldn't handle that girl."  I cut off that line of thought and said, "No, I have to be able to look at the girl and say, 'This is for me.'"  I really have to believe that I deserve a hot blonde.  I need to think about what Alex says that the guys she's had sex with probably aren't this 10/10 guys.  They were just normal guys. 

A different set of black dudes that I think I saw at Lion Head and for sure, saw on Division, taught me what I'm missing.  I remember being in the bar and seeing these two cute blondes walking towards me.  I tried to open them as they were walking by.  (On a sidenote, in the small bar that I was in, I shouldn't go for the moving opener when I can just wait 10 seconds and open them when they are not moving.)  I saw them go to the other side of the bar after they blew me off and they went up to these two black dudes.  A few minutes later, I saw the guys making out with the girls. 

I had to ask myself, "Why the fuck can't I get those girls?"  The answer is what Tyler said in this video I watched again today.  I have that little bit that wnats to hold back.  I also hold myself off on the pull.  Other guys don't hold back and even if their game isn't top notch, they get laid because they are willing to be alpha all the way to the close.  I need to stop being a bitch and realize that I will give girls a great experience by pulling them. 

Just as I was opening like crazy early in the night and putting myself out there full force, I need to put in a solid effort all the way through a set.  I haven't gotten some lays that I should have recently because I lost confidence or didn't step up at a key point near end game. 

This blog is so therapeutic:
I really had to fight that down feeling I was getting when I was thinking about the night.  After writing this entry, though, I feel so much better.  I realize that did some things very well tonight.  If I push myself and hit sets up and be the party guy that I was early on, then I'm gonna have success.  It's inevitable.  I'm doing what needs to be done and it actually isn't as hard as I thought it would be.  At the same time, I'm learning valuable lessons about my short comings.  There is no way that I can keep going out and put full effort and not start to get a bunch of lays or near lays.  I just need to be a little bit more alpha and entitled and this is all gonna work out like I always dreamed. 

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