I was feeling shitty all week. I think it's I started to focus on the things that are screwed up in my life instead of trying to ride the wave of success in sarging that was starting to build at the end of last week. Another aspect is that my mind was again having trouble accepting that I was finally seeing some real success in this.
I realized today that this is the wrong time to slow down. I'm just starting to get the kiss close down and I need to just get comfortable with this so I no longer have to think about it. I have to just keep going out and focus on pushing myself to work on the kiss close. I need to get unconscious competence with the kiss close, to use a term TD uses. I liken it to my kino escalation. I barely have to focus conscious thought in kino escalation. I go in and turn the conversation man-to-woman, to use Jeffy's term, automatically, especially if I've already built some momentum from warm ups. Not too long ago, lack of kino escalation was a huge thing that killed my sets. Now, it's the kiss close. I think after tonight's frustration, I'll do better Saturday night, and I just have to go out a few times during the week next week so I can really get comfortable kiss girls quickly.
Should have been a quick street sarge kiss close:
Before I get into the pull, let me start at the end. There was this mixed 4 set standing on Division. I ended up talking to this girl that said she had just come back from Africa. We hit it off, of course, cause she's really into travel, plus she was high buying temperature. Naturally, I started kino escalating and had strong, dominant eye contact. The strong eye contact is like my best move now. It seems like once they start really looking into my eyes, it's over; I'm so relaxed and comfortable gazing into their eyes that the sexual tension builds.
It was so obvious that I needed to go for the kiss close that Seagull interrupted me and showed me his phone which said, "Kiss." I suspected I was close and it was good that he tried to steer me towards doing it. I hesitated though. I hesitated twice and it's frustrating as that was the same situations I found myself in last Friday. Saturday was the big breakthrough when I kissed the street set pretty quickly.
Even if the girl rejected me, I should have gone for it. Instead, I tried to number close and she didn't want to give me her number cause we had just met. It's funny, though, that there was a good chance she would have kissed me after just knowing me for a few minutes.
Screwed up a pull:
I opened this Puerto Rican girl with big tits. She was a little overweight but she was attractive and she smelled really good. I wasn't even planning on sarging her. I was just talking by and saw she looked a little too serious. Anytime I see women like that, I just want to come in high energy and cheer them up. I opened her and I was gonna leave when I noticed she was kinoing me and the eye contact was good.
I kino escalated a bit and she wanted to dance but I put her off a for a bit. Then, a few minutes later, I took her to the dance floor. She was comfortable with grinding immediately and of course that started to feel good. I started escalating a little bit and like a song or two in, we were facing each other and really close together and she started kissing my neck. I reciprocated. I knew I should have went for the kiss but I kept stalling. Again, I blame the layoff but it's still stupid.
What else do I want a girl to do:
I feel so dumb when I sit here thinking about the night. She's grinding on me and kissing my neck. I'm kissing and sucking on her neck. I just needed to hold eye contact and then maybe hold her face or neck and kissed her. It was unlikely I was gonna get rejected. Anyways, I already know that it's better to go for it too early (even though this clearly wasn't too early) and get rejected than to stall.
I didn't want to get too sweaty so I isolated her off the dance floor. We sat down and built some rapport. I was holding her hand and rubbing her leg. Again, I should have kissed her here. I talked about logistics. I mentioned having beers at my place. She wanted to grab food, but I was trying to avoid that. Instead, I should agree to food and then deal with that when I get her to the car.
Should have pulled then:
Well, the key move was to start kissing her. I needed to make out a little, break it off, and then try to lead her out of the bar. Still, I could have made this work. She wanted to get a beer and then we were gonna leave. She grabbed a beer and I think I screwed things up because I let her lose buying temperature. I had my arm around her and stuff but I needed to keep talking while she was waiting for and drinking the beer and/or I needed to keep escalating. She got the beer and I started to lead her towards the front area.
She let go of my hand and was talking to the girls at this booth that sells t-shirts. I always wonder when I'm supposed to stay on the girl or give her some space. I didn't want to seem needy, but tonight that was the wrong move. I gotta stay on the girl. I wandered off a bit near the front and sang along with the karaoke.
That move might have been fine but I wasn't watching close enough and she walked by quickly to go outside and have a cigarette. I knew they weren't gonna let her outside with the drink. I found Seagull and started to talk about logistics as he had stuff in my car. I finally decided to go outside. It turned out it was late enough that you couldn't leave and come back. I saw her at the top of the stairs, near the entrance. Some Latino guy sensed she was high buying temperature and he was trying to pull her.
Busting the guy out:
Every time I have to pull girls off guys I have a brief second where I think about how I don't really want to do it. Still, after a second or two, I end up putting on my game face and doing it. I put a lot of work into a set and I like RSD Tim's analogy: I'm not gonna abandon the house if a wall falls down. I went in and just ignored the guy and started talking into her ear. I was having a hard time pulling her attention which is rare for me. Seagull started trying to get the guys attention; again, another good wing man move. The bouncer started telling all of us that we either had to leave or go back downstairs. I grabbed the girls hand and kept saying, "Let's go downstairs" and the dude gave up after about 20 seconds.
She walked with me and then ran off the back. It was closed but she said she had stuff back there so they let her in. I figured I'd try again when I saw her. In the meantime, I helped Seagull work some sets. Tonight he was actually high energy at the end and worked several sets with the intention of trying to pull. Sometimes, it's just me doing that stuff so it was refreshing to have him in top form. We had a few decent sets but ultimately we couldn't get anything.
Just as I was about to leave, I saw the girl talking to some new guy. I went in and tried to pull her and she started waving me off. FUCK! Obviously, now I know where I went wrong. I had that pull about 90% of the way. I just need to fix my kiss close problem again that I had solved for two days last week.
I need to talk to him:
There was this set I had opened earlier in that same bar. I was gonna go back in but Seagull didn't want to plow and I ended up sarging that Puerto Rican girl. It was this redhead and her friends from Milwaukee. Perhaps, if I had worked her more earlier, I would have had a chance. Instead, I saw her outside. Seagull was working this tall black girl that was one of the friends. It was funny. He said she was ugly when we were in the set. I said she had a fine body, which she did, and he realized she was cute when he saw her outside. I opened the redhead. Some black dude was sarging her.
I got her attention off the guy briefly. Then, she needed a lighter and the guy used that to pull her off me. I couldn't follow, I felt, as she said, "I'm gonna get a light and be back." I knew she wasn't coming back but I figured I'd just open her again in a few minutes.
I went up to her and started talking in her ear. She said, "I wanna talk to this guy for sec." I kept plowing and threw a few verbal AMOG jabs at the dude. Seagull then started talking to the guy. I just decided to give up. I told Seagull, "I know I could probably bust out the guy, but the girl didn't really like me at this point so what was the point?"
I suppose the other argument is the old TD realization that buying temperature is transferable. If I kept plowing and busted out the dude, she would have started to like me as she had liked him. I guess I should have plowed. After all, she liked me when I first went into the set, and many girls get attracted to me if they let me talk to them and escalate for a few mins.
Learn from the pain:
I'm happy that I had two sets where I should have kissed the girls. It still amazes me when I think about how I can go out on any given night and have a good chance of having the opportunity to make out with 1-2 girls. It's a new reality that I'm still struggling to accept. I'm frustrated that if I just did a few things differently, I probably would have been having sex with that Puerto Rican girl right now. Damn!
I feel better after sarging. Sarging does cure all. I know I'll have momentum tonight and I think the pain will make me pull the trigger when the kiss close opportunities inevitably happen again tonight.
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