Sunday, July 31, 2011

Example of Community overthinking "Are you gonna make out with my friend?" My reponse

I posted this on the RSD forums. I had forgotten that this happened to me. It's stupid how I manage to screw up good situations by over analyzing things sometimes. I've definitely screwed up pulls cause of this issue.

Being an analytical person in general, I've always loved pickup theory. Another reason I've always been drawn to it is that my understanding of pickup and social situations was based solely on social conditioning. Actually learning what really attracts girls helped me a ton cause I actually went out in addition to keyboard jockeying. I've also mentioned that the old Tyler AMOG tactics posts for his early days helped me deal with all the uncomfortable situations that can arise with guys at the bar.

There have been several threads lately about how guys over think stuff to their detriment. RSD's core principle of "Being present" involves turning off your analyzing while you're in the field.

I thought I had gotten over this problem. I think I have for the most part, but as I was thinking back on tonight I realized that I still do it sometimes.

I was really on at the beginning of the night. My first set was me opening what I felt was the hottest girl in the club and she started telling me the stuff Tyler says they'll say when you are doing everything right. It's the first time a hot girl ever told me "You're amazing," "You're beautiful" after my opener. I'm clearly not: I'm an overweight Filipino guy with glasses.

Anyway, I mention that so it's clear I was in the zone. The second set I opened was this 4-set. I opened one girl hard. Then, I introduced myself to the friends. I was talking to the girl. A few minutes, in I heard the two girls say something about make out. I turned to look at them and one of the friends said, "Hey, we're wondering if you are gonna make out with our friend?"

This is perfect of example of how knowing all this theory can fuck you up sometimes. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the average guy at that point would turn to the girl and try to kiss her.

What did I do? Here's what went through my mind:
-Is that a shit test?
-Well, I did open that hot blonde amazingly earlier so I must be in the zone. I can't sound too eager though.
-(My mind was thinking about how some girls will just drop sex into the conversation and you can't sound too eager as it's a shit test.)

My response:

They giggled and I kept trying to talk to the girl but they busted me out shortly afterward.
Thinking back, I think I would have liked my response to be, "Maybe. Is she a good kisser?" Of course they'd say, "Yes" and then I could have went for it.

This all made me realize how the average guy response was certainly better than what did, and possibly still better than the response I came up with after some further though.

Just a cautionary tale. Writing this post made me realize that I probably screwed up some pull opportunities with this same over analyzing problem over the past two weeks. Again, the average guy in the situation might make better decisions. I guess sometimes I have to think about what Jeffy said about "Karate no come from (head), no come from (heart) but from (party dong)." The average could would follow that and not over analyze.

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