I wanted to try to get feedback on RSD so I created a shorter version and posted my first Field report there. In follows as written below. I also include a text which may be a clue to where I really went wrong.
The RSD link is here:
This is my first Field Report that I'm posting her on the forums. Every night I go out, I write field reports in my blog by I usually just write them for myself as I can analyze every detail and figure out what I did wrong and know what I did correctly. As things are finally clicking, I'm finding myself in more mid to late game situations and I now find myself unsure about certain things. Here I am to get some advice from the more experienced people out there. I'm trying to write a short version of my novel length FR in my blog for this forum.
I know this is long, so I posted my key questions at the bottom. Those that don't have the patience to read can just skip down there and address those if possible.
My original plan for the night was to hang out and get drunk at my buddy's birthday BBQ. I had to drive to his house which is about a 15-20 minute expressway drive. The train is like a 40 minutes ride to where my wing and I were planning to go out that night. I took the train in and ended up going on this Day 2. I thought I was gonna hook up with the girl on thie Day 2, but it ended up not going well. I can't say I total fucked it up, but she wasn't responding to my kino and left after two drinks. She did have to go to a cousin's birthday or so she had said we we got there. I tried to get her to bring me along but she didn't want to. I only mention this because I know several wings that would have gone home after this shitty Day 2. I did feel like just taking the train back and driving home but I was out near the bars so I decided to sarge, even though it was gonna be solo sarging. I've had success solo sarging but I always feel less motivated to go solo sarging than when I have a good wing meeting me.
I busted out quickly out of a lot of sets at my first bar. I went to my second bar. The upstairs area is like one huge dance floor. I accidentally bumped into this cute black girl. I should note that I have 4 types of girls that really turn me on right now: 1)natural red heads with the pale skin (even chunky ones) 2) 6 foot tall girls 3) black girls 4) really short girls say 4'11". I apologized and actually turned to walk away when I caught myself. "Wait a minute, this girl is cute." I turned back around and introduced myself. We started dancing. My girl was the best looking girl in the set. There were three other girls: a chunky Latina Mother Hen, and two larger black girls. I introduced myself to the other girls early on (within a minute). I spun two of the friends after a song just so they didn't feel left out. I isolated her to the bar area just by saying, "Let's take a break. It's hot (btw, this place is so cheap that it's ridiculously hot up there and it's nasty to bump into people cause everyone is sweaty). Let's go to the bar." I wrote in my blog that I often don't isolate enough and now that I'm trying to focus on it, it surprises me how easy it is to do it (cause I always felt it was a hard thing to do). We talked and built rapport. She loves to travel which always gains a girl points in my book.
After a few minutes of talking, we started dancing again and she said, "Do you wanna go back to my friends?" I lead her back there. We danced for a few more songs. Some dudes started to grind on the other girls and Mother Hen didn't like one guy so she pulled them all away. It was a good sign when my target grabbed my arm as she was getting dragged off. They started dancing again. After a little bit, I tried to isolate my girl to this fan area. She came with but then I noticed the whole set had followed us. Mother Hen actually tried to cockblock me after a few songs. She had pulled my girl away and danced with her a few times. I had just danced by myself and my girl came back after dancing with Mother Hen. At one point, though she said, "I'm taking my girlfriend back" and gave me this cold look. I told her to give me a high five. She didn't react and tried to say it again. My girl reached for me as this was happening so I knew it was on anyway. I just used Tyler's old line on Mother Hen, "I wanna adopt you as my little sister. You are so fiesty! I like you." Mother Hen giggled. After this, I made sure to take a little bit of time to dance with the other girls.
I knew closing time was coming so I tried to figure out logistics and tried to seed the pull. I also knew I had to make out with this girl. As I said, my car was stuck a 40 minute "L" ride away. My girl was from a neighboring state that was a 5 hour drive Sunday (and it was like 3am at this point). She was staying in the city. Later, I found out it was about 10 minutes from my car. They had all driven to the bar in one of the girl's car. I started to seed the pull by asking her what they were doing afterwards. She said they were probably going to eat. I tried talking up some nearby diners but Mother Hen just blew off my suggestions. (Later I learned it was cause she wanted to meet a close friend that she doesn't see often at the particular diner we ended up going to). While dancing with my girl, I told her, "You should come over and hang out after this." I said that I lived west (I'm close to the city limits but my place is like a 20 minute drive from anywhere we actually go sarge in the city) and my car was off the Blue Line. My plan at the time was to get her to come on the train and take that to my car. I realized it would be hard to keep her buying temp up that whole time but that was my best option. I tried to kiss her on the dance floor. She let me kiss her neck and bite her neck but wouldn't let me kiss her. I thought it was because her friends were around. I even went for it when guys were grinding on the other girls. I verbalized, "Your friends aren't looking" and went for it, but no go.
When the bar closed, Mother Hen said, "Let's go" and grabbed my girls hand and started leading her away. My girl held on to my hand and I follow them. I tried grabbing the hand of one of the other girls but she wouldn't take it. We got outside. My girl said they were going to their car and then to the restaurant. I figured I could go along and then either get dropped off near the Blue Line (which would save me like 20-30 minutes of riding and transfering from the Red Line) or maybe get dropped off by my car.
Mother Hen find a cab. She got in the front seat. I knew that I needed to avoid being the last to get in the cab. I didn't want the three to be in the back seat and then Mother Hen could say, "Oh well. No room. Sorry." My girl got in the cab, then I got in. One of the other girls was getting in when Mother Hen turned back and saw me.
She squawked, "Why is this Chinaman here?" (I'm Filipino, btw.) I just smiled.
My girl said, "'Cause he's coming with."
Mother hen objected, "Why?"
My girl said firmly, "Because he is."
The dynamics of this set changed after this moment. I could see that my girl had established that she liked me and this was going down. Mother Hen no longer tried to cockblock me after this.
About two blocks away, one of the friends in the back seat makes the cab stop. She realized she lost her phone and wants to look for it at the bar. She gets out. Mother Hen (I gotta say that she does look out for her friends well) asked if anyone was gonna go with her. My girl said she was gonna go with so we got out. This ended up helping me. I got to show some alpha qualities by leading the lost phone girl to the correct entrance to get in. Later, I looked up the cell phone company number to get her phone suspended. More importantly, I finally got real isolation as my girl and I waited on the sidewalk. I remember that her back was against the wall. I was close to her. I was facing her and holding her hands. I looked deeply into her eyes. The sexual tension was building but she tried to break it by saying something like, "Why are you looking at me like that?" I think I just smiled. I took my left hand and started stroking her face. I stopped stroking her face and held my hand against her cheek and went in for the kiss. She kissed me and we started making out. I stopped it, looked at her, and then we started again. This time I pushed her more dominately against the wall and pinned her left had against the wall. Then I pulled back and I noticed the two friends in the cab were walking up as they had just gotten dropped off by thecab.
I write in my blog that certain things hurt me that were out of my control. One was this insanely long walk to the car. I had asked where the car was and they said it was walking distance as they had walked to the bar. Had I known where it was, I would have gotten a cab. I just googled the distanced and it was 1.5 miles. I was able to talk to my girl and we held hands the whole way but every got sober from the long walk and being at the restaurant.
We got to the restaurant. I had my arm around my girl in the car but I didn't try to kiss her there. I was worried it would make her uncomfortable doing that stuff in front of the friends. At the restaurant, Mother Hen's friend and some guy met us there. I ended up sitting with my girl on one side and the guy on the right side. The guy was cool and I talked to him for like 5 minutes. Then, I had to force myself to stop talking to him and focus on my girl. As she was eating, the only kino I did was I rubbed her leg under the table. She was cool with it. The two new friends actually left early as they had a long drive. When everyone was nearly done eating, I again told my girl we should come to my place and hang out. My girl paid with her card so we had to wait up by the register to pay. This gave me isolation. She said she was getting tired. I told her that we needed to get to my car and then we'd come hang out for a little bit and I'd make sure she got home early. (I actually thought several of the girls were all driving together but it turns out only my girl was driving to the nearby state today.) I told her she could tell her friends that she was going to watch the sunrise with me. As we were walking out, she said she could get dropped off by her car and then we'd drive to my car.
Again, I just held her hand and rubbed her arm in the car. When we got to her car, Mother Hen started to give me a hard time. She said she wanted to take a picture of my ID. I tried to tell her I'd give her my phone number. She did have a point. I was just some random guy my friend met at the bar and while I was cool, she was looking out for her friend. I just wanted them to leave and I did understand what she was trying to do, so I let her. (BTW, these girls didn't seem shady. The have good jobs and the friend was driving a nice Mercedes. The only thing I don't like about the ID is that the girl could google me and find out some shit she might not like about me.)
I got in my girl's car. She was having trouble starting it, but finally it started. My advice actually worked to give it gas as the problem seemed similar to one I had before. I think I made a mistake here in that I should have told her to kiss me. If we had started making out there, maybe it would have been easier to get her to drive to my place. We caught a light and I looked over and thought about trying to kiss her. This was a new situation. The few times I've pulled involving a car, I've been driving. I thought about trying to kiss her as I could tell she was tired and even asked, "What's wrong?" I don't know why I didn't initate a make out right there.
My car and my place are on the same direction on the expressway. My car was about 8-10 minutes from where her car was. My house was probably double that. She was driving for 5 minutes before she started to ask me where my car was. (BTW, as I write this post, I think I should have talked more in the car. I wasn't totally silent, but there were moments of silence. I'm thinking maybe if I had kept blabbering, and I have enough stories that I tell that I could have filled the time, maybe she wouldn't have asked about the exit until we were close to the exit to my place.) We actually were at the closest exit to my car but I bought myself time by saying it was the next exit. I actually did start to talk and as we got to the exit, I tried saying, "Let's just go to my place. It's only 10 mins from here." She objected about having to drive 5 hours in the morning. I said she could take a nap. She got off at the exit to my car.
I'm wondering if I should have lied and said the exit to my car was the exit to my house. I guess I was worried that she'd start bitching that it was too far or get mad that I was tricking her. I wonder now if I would have pulled her here if had said my house exit was where my car was.
We got to my car and I told her to pull behind it. She was like 2-3 feet from the curb and had the light on and engine running. She said we could keep in touch and hang out again. I figured it was gonna be like this girl I talk to from a few weeks ago. I wanted to try to have sex tonight because I figured it would be months before she came back and she'd either forget about me or I'd have to maintain a text relationship that whole time. I kissed her and we started making out. I started to escalate more by kissing her neck, sucking and biting her neck, and feeling her boobs. When she was getting into it, I pulled back and said, "Let's drive to my place." She said the two times I tried it, "I can't." The second time, she made the objection, "I have to get some rest." I said, "You can sleep in the extra bedroom." She replied, "We're not gonna sleep if we go over there."
Maybe it was a mistake to respond, "Probably not." I actually escalated way faster than I normally would. After touching her boobs for like 10 seconds, I started to run my hands up her skirt. I rubbed her pussy for a few seconds and she actually didn't resist. I stopped though and tried saying, "Pull over by my car." I'm thinking that maybe I should have really started rubbing her pussy and fingering her. I guess I had an issue with us being like 3 feet from the curb, with our headlights on, the car running, and dawn upon us.
I tried escalating again but she was less into it and had decided that this really wasn't gonna happen. We exchanged numbers. I kissed her again. I asked, "When are you coming back here?" She said, "Two weeks."
I actually thought, "Whoops. Maybe I didn't have to go for broke."
Let me close with a text I got from her as I was driving home. It made me realize that maybe my problem was one that I didn't even think of the whole time.
I like you... I'm just not down for the whole one night stand thing :(
Maybe my screw up was that I created what Tim called the "Cherish" relationship in "Flawless Natural." Thinking about it, maybe the whole hand holding the whole time was a bad idea. Fortunately, she might be back in town soon and I can build off this. Still, when going for SNL, I need to work more on being a sexual man.
Summary of questions:
1) Was the better move to try to not go to the diner and just try to get her to my car/my place? If I had my car near the bar, I think that was the move, but given that the girls giving me a ride makes thing way e convenient, I think I was stuck.
2) I think my big mistake was not making out with her once I got in her car. I think her buying temperature dropped and made her not want to come over.
3) When she asked me what exit my car was at, should I have lied and just told her the exit to my house? I tried telling her it was 10 minutes away but it might have been 15 mins away. I was worried she would start bitching cause it would take too long.
4) Should I have just started really trying to rub her pussy despite the fact that car was running, with the light on, halfway in the middle of this side street?
5) Advice on not creating a "cherish" relationship?
6) Any other feedback on my night. Also, I welcome feedback on the FR format: like what details I can leave out to make it shorter or any details I'm missing. (I feel this is long, but my original one I wrote for my blog was way longer.)
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