Thursday, July 21, 2011
Looked cool on the dance floor but I could have done better
As aspiring PUA's, we often are guilty of focusing too much on our sticking points. It's a good thing to figure out where you need to improve, and that's why I write this blog every night. When you know what you need to work on, you can make sure you do those things better the next time. What even worse, though, is focusing on something like not pulling that night. I have to keep fighting that battle as every night I go home without pulling I feel disappointed. Pulling is often relies on factors out of your control: like a girl you probably could pull on another night horrible logistics (has to drive her friends home). Other times, you might really hit it off with a girl, but she's so into her boyfriend that you can't hook up with her.
Tonight, I had fun and I have to admit that some of the things that happen to me, I never would have imagined could happen to me. I should focus on some of the cool things that happen tonight and remember how every night is so much cooler than how things used to be even compared to just a few months ago. Still, tonight, there are a few things I could have done better.
I was cool on the dance floor:
As I've written before, I used to be terrified of the dance floor. Well, originally I was just afraid of being in the bar or club in general. Gradually, after going out, I started to get more comfortable with being in the environment and talking to girls. It wasn't until last year that I became comfortable with just being on the dance floor in general. This year has been a complete breakthrough. Early on, I was just dancing on the dance floor whether it was full or by myself. I kept wanting to open sets and I really struggled to push myself to do it. Yeah, I could open verbally, but I wanted to become comfortable just opening girls using dance floor game. After struggling with that, I slowly became more comfortable doing it. Simultaneously, I was working on actually dancing with girls on the dance floor. I used to be really awkward, but I do a much better job now, and now it's actually a decent tool. If I can isolate a girl that's into me on the dance floor, I can go for the make out.
I still struggle to be completely carefree on the dance floor, but I'm at a point where I never would have expected to be. For example, last Saturday, I got into that deep set from opening on the dance floor and then spending the majority of my time on the dance floor.
Tonight wasn't as awesome. We went to this after hours place that we had never been to before because a bunch of people were talking about it when our usual place closed. I didn't want to go at first, but Vinny had a good point that we'll be on Division Thurs,Fri, and Sat so we should try a new place. When we got there, the dance floor area had a guy and two girls dancing. I quickly got on there and just started dancing by myself. This tall girl I had opened before started dancing with me. She was just having fun and she wouldn't let me escalate.
Later, there were these 3 tall Irish chicks and two of them were really hot. I liked the blonde even though her face was that cute. I just started dancing near them. I really have fun just being out there, especially when the DJ is playing songs I recognize and like. While I was out there, this 4 set came on the dance floor and I was dancing in a circle by them. (BTW, this is where I still struggle. I think ideally, I would have gotten past the circle dancing right away and just started dancing with all the girls. Maybe I should work on that Thursday.)
What surprised me is that I could see the tall girls looking at me. It makes sense according to the old MM theory of social proof. Still, it amuses me that I can command attention on the dance floor, especially cause I'm overweight and wearing my glasses. Of course, this is just proof that if you do things right, looks and how you dress don't really matter. I started to dance with one of the tall girls. The tall blonde that I liked immediately wanted to take pictures of the girl and I. I ended up being in four pictures with them. Soon, the blonde was back on the dance floor and I spun her around and just danced near her.
I went back to dancing by myself and then the blonde like came up and started aggressively dancing with me. I had seen the initial girl and the blonde whispering to each other out of the corner of my eye before this happened. I guess the blonde was attracted and the friend pushed her to start escalating on me. I enjoyed that.
I gotta say that dancing with tall girls is different than short girls or girls my height. I haven't had that much experience with it other than the wild Estonia girl a few months back that was grinding with every one at Cadillac Ranch. I'm starting to enjoy dancing with short girls the best as when I'm facing them, it's easier to escalate. My legs also end up being the right height to put pressure on their crotch as well. Grinding with the tall girl was a bit awkward, and maybe that's why she pulled off after about 30 seconds. I talked to her later and mentioned Division and she ended up saying her boyfriend works at one of those bars.
Where I went wrong in this set is that three guys showed up that they knew. The guys were just friends and were dancing by them. I shied away a bit from the girls. Then Vinny wanted to go home and I just took the easy way out, I suppose and left. I think I could have kept working on these three girls in spite of the guys and tried to escalate more.
Another Tall Blonde:
There was this tall blonde that was just an inch or two taller than me earlier in the night. I opened her and we were having a cool conversation about travel as she had just been on this long vacation to Australia. I got screwed because some guy she hadn't seen for awhile walked by and she got all excited to see him. She hugged him and they talked for like 5 minutes and then she was back in this mixed set that I had seen her in earlier.
My mistake here is that I should have approached her again. I guess I just didn't feel the right entitlement to this girl by virtue of her being tall, plus tonight, I was left comfortable dealing with guys than I usually am. The silly thing is I approached a ton of others girls multiple times that were less exciting or possibly interested in me than this girl was.
Chubby girl and working the less difficult target
I opened this 2-set and asked Vinny to help me. He started talking to the redhead and I took the easy way out and talked to the chubby girl. It's somewhat annoying because I specifically told him to talk to the chubby girl for me. To be fair, he wasn't even really winging until I forced him to. The girls were at the corner of the bar and he was next to them on the bend sitting. When I opened the girls, they had their attention on me and I could have kept it on me. I wanted help so I pointed out Vinny and pulled him into the set. Vinny talked to the redhead a bit but he never really worked her that much. Besides, I could easily pull her attention off of him if I really wanted.
Perhaps, that's a sticking point. I'll sometimes just talk to the less attractive girl as a cop out when the wing starts talking to her. The chubby girl was somewhat cute and we had a good conversation. She was responding well to my kino.
Should have isolated and closed:
As I said, I was kino escalating and she was responding positively. There was this moment when the redhead whispered in her friend's ear and then disappeared. I thought she was going to sign up for karaoke but I think she went to the bathroom. In my head, I immediately thought, "I'm getting isolation here, possibly on purpose."
I moved a little closer to her and upped the kino a bit but I didn't really move towards the kiss close even though I was thinking about it at the time. I guess this is how Seagull says he feels sometimes. I thought I could do it but told myself that I didn't really want it.
That's bullshit though. Maybe I wasn't totally attracted, but I would have hooked up with her. I've hooked up with even larger girls. As I was commiserating with myself on the ride home about how I didn't have any make out moments last night, I thought about this set. I should have went for it and would have felt better if I had. In addition, I could have built momentum that could have lead to more kiss closes later.
My failure was a lapse in judgment. Unless you're getting a ton of sex, I think if you would do a girl, you should escalate. I also think it's worth practicing escalation and pulling if the girl is receptive even if you are not really attracted. At this stage, Seagull and I don't get that many mid to late game sets. We should be getting practice anyway we can.
The chubby girl had to go home early as she had to get up for work the next day. Again, I saw the opportunity. I knew I could have number closed her but I told myself that I didn't really want it. Part of it I'm just sick of dealing with number closes. I should have taken it here because she might have been more responsive than other girls. Besides, I should farm some newer numbers so I can practice text game and get better at it. Manwhore said that his tight text games gets him a lot of lays that he wouldn't otherwise get. SNL/Pull game is what I'm working on but I'd get laid more if I could figure out text game.
I should note that I don't even farm that many numbers. I only take a girl if we really discover a commonality that we both would be interested in meeting up again and doing or if I make out with the girl. I want to focus on pulling and SNL's so I push any given set as far as I can that night.
Focus for next time:
I feel better now that I devoted some space to the good things that happened tonight. I briefly touched on the sticking points. In the next few days, I'm gonna try to be even more confident on the dance floor. That means no choding around in the dance circle when I know I should be dancing and spinning with all the girls in the set. I also should have been more dominant with the tall girls. It's like I was happy with what was happening and didn't want to push more than I had.
I also need to never give that "I don't really want this set" BS justification that I used tonight. If the girl isn't that attractive, that's even more of a reason to escalate quickly. With those girls, I should escalate fast to see if they are DTF so I don't waste a ton of time with them.
Finally, I need to make sure I approach certain sets that were going well again. I do this, for the most part, but Tues and Wed, there were sets that I chickened out of entering again and that is a mistake.