Deep down, I know that today was a success. I should consider that when I was driving to the Ranch today, I felt anxious during the drive. I think it's performance anxiety. In my head, I wanted to do better than last night. I think I've been holding myself back lately. It's like I'm trying to sabotage success again. I keep eating too much and wanting to screw up other aspects of my life too. That sick side of me has gotten a taste of success and wants to go back to the dark side. I'm working on dealing with that.
Beyond that, I have to echo what I said about Tuesday night. In my head, it's like I feel like I need to be kiss closing girls or more every night or I think the night was a failure. Thinking like that gets me out of enjoying the moment and instead I'm looking for a result which hurts you in pickup.
Fortunately, despite all these parts of my personality wrestling inside my head for control, I can still put a decide sarging effort. I can thank Seagull for part of that. I didn't want to tell him how I felt when he walked in because I didn't want to bring his state down. Instead of opening sets and starting things off like I normally would, I sat at the bar drinking a beer. I waited for him to approach the first set. He opened this 3-set and I stalled winging him. I almost didn't even want to talk to them and I even wandered off and went to the dance floor to pump my state.
Opened on the dance floor:
I got opened on the dance floor early on. I'm glad I've been wearing my glasses lately because I am accepting that wearing glasses or contacts make no difference. I know I look better in contacts, but here I got opened with glasses just like I have in the past with contacts. The dance floor was dead and I had ventured on there a few times. This particular time, there were three girls dancing and I was dancing by myself. Some attractive brunette came up sand said "Hi" and started dancing in front of me. I made eye contact and danced with her.
She ended up walking away after about fifteen seconds. Either she got nervous after opening; I know that feeling well as I've done it in sets and girls don't open that much. Another factor might have been I should have gotten more aggressive right away. I didn't need to grind her off the bat, but I should have spun her and drawn her into me.
Held myself back again on the dance floor:
The one thing I need to do is really let go on the dance floor. Obviously, I made a ton of practice in the last 5-6 weeks. I'll occasionally open sets on the dance floor which I never did before. I consistently go out on the dance floor, even if I'm the only one out there. I just see moves that I'm not yet willing to make and I want to fix that. For example, I ran into that 3-set Seagull opened at the beginning of the night. I dance with them a few times, but I knew the real aggressive and proper way to work the set. I needed to really get into their circle and spin and grind all three girls and then focused on my targets. I rarely see guys that have the confidence to do that, but I feel that I should.
Another set was this crazy set I ran into by a table. I opened this one girl and seemed to be creating some attraction. Suddenly, this larger girl put her arm around me and told me I was taking to a married girl who was married to her brother. I wasn't fazed and I remember looking at her and saying, "What about you?" She pointed to her boyfriend at the table and I shook his hand. Suddenly, this third friend appeared. Seagull was talking to her briefly. I got introduced to her by this larger girl. The third girl then said she was gonna go dance. I actually thought I should follow but I hesitated. The larger girl said, "What are you doing here? She said she wanted to dance. Go dance with her."
The girl was dancing really close to me. More so than the girl that opened me. I got interrupted by the shot girls. Shot girls are annoying as they always try to encourage you to pay for shots for the girls by you. I just shook my head and the girl bought herself a shot and we returned to dancing. I'm sure I frustrated her by not touching her and/or escalating. She said she wanted more people to dance and said she was gonna grab a guy and I'd grab a girl.
This was when I went into that 3-set from earlier as I saw them on the dance floor. The were enthusiastic and I was sort of dancing with all three of them but I held myself back from doing the really confident dance I described above. The girl that I went to dance with pulled some chode in and started dancing with him. I knew I could have tried to spin her away from him but I lost confidence. The lesson is I should have been confident with her from the beginning. I also could have approached her again but instead I focused on this other girl.
Persistence and eclipsing other guys:
Seagull had opened this 2-set of two Mexican girls. For some reason, he didn't click with his girl but I felt a connection with the girl I was winging. My screw up early on was I should have went for the number close as soon as we talked about margaritas and a few other cool things. I felt like I could slow play, but I should have learned that lesson from a few Thursdays ago. Seagull's girl ended up walking away and I think I felt too results oriented later on. If I grabbed her number early on, then I would have felt as needy when I approached later.
I approached her a ton of times later on. She was conservative and was shy on the dance floor early on. I remember spotting them just standing there a few times and I went in and danced by them. The girl danced a little bit but she was more into the music later, when she was more drunk.
Part of my problem was that the friend would keep getting bored. I tried to dance with both of them, so I give myself credit for attempting that. Still, I don't have it quit perfected.
Later, 2-3 different chodes were dancing and talking with the 2-set. My target was less receptive than the friend to these dudes. At first, I was hesistant to go back in, by with Seagull's urging and knowing that I can bust out guys, I made myself do it. I was surprised how easily I could pull her attention from the three different dudes that kept trying to talk to her.
Sure, I've done some crazy stuff like dealing with those AMOG's with that Polish girl at Bourbon Street, but this set surprised me because this girl wasn't as into me as that Polish girl. The first time I busted a dude out, I pulled her to the dance floor. I actually was more confident that I had been earlier in the night and I tried the "spin and in" technique. She wouldn't let me hold her hips, though. We danced for two songs and I wanted to stop dancing and I sensed she did too, so I told her we should take a break.
She ended up being tired of dancing as she kept hanging out by the bar and watching her friend dance with guys. I left her after I danced with her. Sure enough, guys approached her. She wanted the attention as she didn't really bust out guys but I could pull her off any of the 3 different guys that were talking to her. One time, this dude tried to come in when I was talking to her and she actually waved him off.
I tried to number close her at one point and I think I threw it out there at the wrong time as she said, "We'll see. Maybe later." Again, I think I should have just number closed her at the beginning so I didn't have this mentality that I had later of needing to close. You can't be in the moment when you clearly want a result.
I ended up trying to get a food close later too. She said they might go for food. I suppose I could have stayed to the end and tried a pull. Part of me feels like I put a good effort out. I went back in multiple times even though guys were talking to her. I pulled her onto the dance floor and tried to escalate. I put out the food close. Still, I think I could have plowed for another hour. She seemed content to talk with me. If I had kept talking to her, maybe I could have escalated later on and then tried to pull or get a food extraction. I ran out of steam at this point and felt like I'd likely be wasting an hour. The place was also slow because of the rain and we had worked basically all the sets by like 2am, so we left.
Closing thoughts:
I really had to force myself to write this report. Part of me feels like I've just been doing the same shit Tuesday and Wednesday. Despite trying to be in the right head space, part of me still wants to say tonight was a failure. The lesson should be that I shouldn't hold back when I'm out. I feel best when I give a full effort regardless of what happens. Realistically, I pushed my comfort zones. I went into sets that I normally wouldn't have had the confidence to enter again. I tried some dance floor moves that I have been hesitant to try in the past week. I need to be happy that I'm trying and I have to work on having fun like I used to do only two weeks ago. I'm being hard on myself by having an unrealistic standard for myself. Yes, I shouldn't hold back on the dance floor or in set, but I should be happy that I'm working on that. If I keep pushing my comfort zones, then maybe in the near future, I'll naturally just pull in girls every time and try to escalate on the dance floor. I need to remember that I haven't even been working dance floor game for the past two weeks so what I did was good enough for now.
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