This is a lesson that I've been struggling to internalize since I got into the game. I realize that it holds me back. Tyler/Owen had a good segment in the NY Free Tour clip on this page. He recommends this video to help internalize the truth that women love sex.
RSD Tim and Owen both talk about how the guys that are good at pulling girls believe that sex is a win/win for both the man and the woman. I can tell that even though I believe this to be true, part of my mind still holds me back because of the old social conditioning about women not liking sex. I think the old routines based game and theories also hold me back now. Those things blended together makes me think somewhere inside that I have to trick girls to have sex.
Nothing can be further from the truth. As Tyler/Owen says, girls are sexually frustrated. They want to meet a cool guy that is going to be nonjudgmental and will turn them one with that masculine polarity. Fortunately, I have become that guy but I just need to tweak myself just a little bit more.
I come into sets relaxed. I'm create that man to woman conversation that Jeffy stresses. I'm holding strong eye contact. I claw them. I make sure we face each other and our faces are really close when we are just talking. I hold their hands. When I'm really on, early in sets, I'll be facing the girl and holding her hands. I'll put her arms on my shoulders and put my arms around her and have them rest on her lower back. I'll spin girls around. I've become comfortable with all this stuff lately.
I'm becoming more comfortable with kiss but it's still a sticking point of sorts. I just have to really internalize that it's just a natural step in the interaction. It should be as simple as me trying to hold a girl's hand or putting my arm around her.
Win/win pull:
Thinking back on that close pull on Saturday, I realized that I wasn't viewing it as a win/win pull. I kept thinking I had to create some grand plan to get her to come home with me. Sure, you should come up with some minor excuse like grabbing food at her place and hanging out. As I saw with Maya in Cinco De Mayo, even sexual liberal girls don't want you to verbalize what's going down. Accepting that girls want to fuck still means that I'll say stuff like, "We're only gonna hang out for a short time," or "Come by and watch this video and hang out."
Where I went wrong with that girl is that I kept trying to plan too much. I should have picked one excuse and then just moved her towards the car to come to my place or hers. Instead of going to that bar for the drink, I should have continued kissing her on the street. To really turn her on, I could have pushed her against the wall or the bar window and starting really making out with her in a dominant way.
I know that I didn't kiss her faster and that I wasn't more dominant with the pull because I didn't have the mindset that she totally would want this to go down too. That appeared again with that Miata girl.
Manwhore talks about this in one of the "21 Convention" videos I saw on youtube. I need to come up to the girls and do all the stuff I already do right. The only difference is that I should be going up believing that the girls want this to go down with me because I'm different from most guys. All the stuff I'm doing right now isn't to trick the girl into getting attracted to me so I can sleep with her. This stuff is just me being that attractive guy that woman want to meet. When I escalate and otherwise move the interaction forward, I'm giving her want she wants too. Ultimately, when I pull her and have sex with her, I'm helping her relieve that sexual frustration that everyone, yes, even women, experience.
When I sarge properly, I'm giving her an incredible experience. This might have been a mind trick on myself in the past, but it's the truth now. That's not to say that I don't have more to learn. My game right now is at the point where I do create great experiences for the women and I need to start believing that in every set. When I internalize this, these crazy sexual experiences will become more commonplace for me.
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