Thursday, May 12, 2011

Number close at Caddy, but shit state:

I went to Caddy and for some reason, I was in the wrong head space most of the night. I was talking about it with Sidegames as I was driving home. He had woken up in the middle of the night and we were talking on the phone as I was driving. I think I got in a bad state cause I had fallen into that trap of setting too high standards for myself. Instead of just being satisfied that I was approaching, I was telling myself I sucked cause I couldn't lay Latina Nurse tonight. I was telling myself I needed to get a make out. That's the wrong attitude to have. It's better to just be happy if you approach and build momentum.

It's not like I was bombing either. I had this girl that was drunk and liked me, but she had a boyfriend and the friends wouldn't give me isolation. Also, I guess I never really tried to isolate her and kept walking away. I had this 2-set that kept dancing with me. I kept thinking they kept coming by me on the dance floor cause they wanted me to dance with them. I had high fived them and spun the cute blonde around earlier. I kept going out on the dance floor by myself and twice those girls kept hovering around me. One time, the brunette even bumped into me even though there was a lot of room on the dance floor.

I kept making excuses that I didn't have wing and couldn't do anything. In the right headspace, I would have spun and grinded with both girls and then focused on my blonde. I have done that in the past. I remember that one time I was at Kendalls watching the Frank Mir v Shane Carwin UFC fight. I opened this hot two set, moved them to The Apartment club next door, and then was grinding with both of them before I screwed things up later on. I had to do the same thing with this two set, but I just wasn't feeling confidence.

Number close even though I was lame:
I opened this girl who was ordering a water at the bar. After our waters came, she said she had to go out to her friends. She asked me if I wanted to go along. I grabbed her hand and said, "Let's find your friends." She wasn't really responsive to the hand hold so I let go but we went outside. She sat down by her friends which was like 3 girls and 4 guys. I introduced myself and shook everyone's hands. There was a seat on the other side of this table next to the guy friends. I knew the move was to grab that chair and bring in by her but I was just standing there being stupid.

The girl had said when we got there that I should sit in the seat. I stalled by introducing myself to the friends. AFter that, she pointed to the seat again. I went and sat there and started talking to this dude. She said, "Why don't you bring the chair over here?" I gotta say she was patient with me being lame. I knew all this, but I just didn't feel confident at that particular time, probably because of the reasons I said above. I had too high standards and let myself be in a bad state. I did salvage the situation by saying, "One sec. I'm talking here." I BS's with this dude and found out he was from Wisconsin. After about a minute, I brought the chair over and sat by her.

We were having a good conversation but then I saw the girls start hugging the guys. It was obvious they were all leaving. I took the number close as that's all I had. She gave me her number and I went to hug her. I think she thought I was going to kiss her cause she was a little awkward about it. I told her to hug me and then she hugged me.

Kept trying but left early:
I feel better when I give sarging my best shop. I left before closing Saturday as there were no more sets to work. Even after this number close, I was still out of state. There were a few sets I hadn't opened but my mind kept coming up with excuses. I finally opened another set and stalled out. The friend saw I was doing badly and did the old drink rescue. She said to my target, "Do you want to get a drink?" I just put my hand on her shoulder and said, "Yeah, I know. Cya later."

I didn't like giving up but I know I have the next three days to redeem myself. I figure I put some extra effort in. I should have pushed to try to close the remaining sets, but it wasn't a bad idea to leave if I was gonna feel shitty after being rejected, or if I was just gonna stand around feeling lame just so I could leave at closing.

It's back to basics. Yeah, I'm doing great. I hooked up with two new girls last week and ended the drought. While I sometimes wonder if I'm getting needy with these two girls, I'm smart enough not to do really dumb stuff. Like even though I want to text them more, I force myself to wait so I'm not needy. I should probably hook up with those two girls again. NOw, I got Latina nurse back in the rotation, most likely. I also am still sarging. I should be happy.

The problem is that even with all my success, every night starts of new. I used to think this would be easier if I were getting laid. I suppose it is and I guess I've forgotten how bad it used to be when I didn't get laid at all and had ridiculously long droughts. I need to stop worrying about making out with new girls and adding new girls to the rotation. I gotta listen to Owen/Tyler when he says just open and consider it a success if you open. I'll also make sure to push my comfort zone. If I do those things, then I can be happy with the night. I gotta not worry about stuff I can't control like the luck factor of what girls I meet.

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